How Detailed Is Too Detailed for a Nanny Job Listing? (Do You Think This Silicon Valley CEO Mom Went Overboard?)
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When you’re looking for a nanny or household manager, what do you think are reasonable expectations for her (or his) qualifications? Would your answer change if you happened to be a Silicon Valley CEO who is a single mom of twins? Her recent job posting for a household manager/cook/nanny has gone viral, and we thought it’d be great to discuss it today.
If you’ve hired a nanny, what were your requirements? How hard was it to find a nanny that fit your specific needs?
{related: maternity suits for professional women}
When Kat told me about the ad, which is making waves in the news this week (The Washington Post, Vox, Jezebel), I expected to scoff at the job description for its unrealistic expectations. Maybe it would be a Nanny Diaries type of situation, with a horrible, demanding parent. Online, the nanny-seeking mom has been called classist, racist, “bananas batsh*t,” “a lunatic,” and more.
But when I read excerpts of the job posting (I can’t find it online, and a tweet with screenshots has been deleted), it seemed pretty reasonable for her situation, which, it probably goes without saying, is very different from mine.
{related: would you hire a housekeeper or household manager?}
I became convinced that the mom is far from a “lunatic” after I read her interview at Slate, in which she anonymously explained some of the duties of the position (and commented on emotional labor, sexism, and more).
Her ideal candidate is a great cook, can form a close relationship with the family, can bodysurf and ski, is able to swim in the ocean (and in rivers), and possesses “intelligence, education, analytical skills, [and] thoughtfulness” to enable her to research family vacations, the kids’ activities, and so on. OK, being able to bodysurf and ski may seem a bit out-there for nanny qualifications, but if a single mom needs help caring for her kids on beach and ski vacations, doesn’t it make sense?
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Here are some of the job perks this CEO mom detailed for the $35–$40/hour position:
- Free housing (in the “pool cottage”) if desired
- Use of a car
- Paid days off, paid holidays, vacation pay
- Time and a half for overtime
- Health benefits
- Free travel (on the job, of course) to Europe, Central America, etc.
- Assistance from the housekeeper, au pair, property manager, and “gardener/handyman”
I’ve never been a nanny myself, just an occasional low-paid babysitter as a teenager, but assuming this mom is a fair and reasonably pleasant boss, this seems like a good gig.
Readers, what do you think? Are the mom’s requirements reasonable or ridiculous? Do you agree with her assertion in Slate that “If I were Scott McNealy, former CEO of Sun Microsystems, […] nobody would think twice”?
{related: here’s what happened when Kat tried to hire a virtual assistant to delegate family tasks}
UPDATE: OK, now that I see the full job listing (thanks, anonymous commenter!), I do think it’s a bit … excessive, and personally, I would be wary of an employer who is THAT specific about her needs.
But aside from the cooking part (some unrealistic expectations there!) and a couple of other requirements, most of the duties seem like “things a mother does all the time.” That makes sense — the mom mentioned the famous 1971 essay, “I Want a Wife,” in her Slate interview.
{related: check out some of our top working mom diaries, including
- a BigLaw mom in Chicago and a BigLaw mom in LA
- a mom in finance at a Fortune 500 company
- an income partner in Boston
- doctor in NYC
Here’s the ad: https://www.google.com/search?ibp=htl;jobs&hl=en-US&kgs=95cdd49a31d7228d&q=household+manager/cook/nanny+needed+for+family+in+menlo+park&shndl=-1&source=sh/x/im/textlists/detail&entrypoint=sh/x/im/textlists/detail%23fpstate=tldetail&htidocid=kT0Qs7hyXyaMfR0FAAAAAA==&htiq=household+manager/cook/nanny+needed+for+family+in+menlo+park&htivrt=jobs#htivrt=jobs&htidocid=m-dp0a8nQ4VVnjT-AAAAAA%3D%3D&fpstate=tldetail
I didn’t hear about this earlier but find it fascinating. I wish the actual job posting was still available online. It’s not wrong to make one’s expectations very clear — she’s a CEO, she’s a single mom, and she’s ready to pay top dollar for great help.
My question is, are there people who can fulfill her requirements? The overlap between nannies and accomplished skiers who also river swim is pretty small, I would think. I hope she does fine someone great.
I think it’s totally reasonable for a single mom with her job to want lots of paid help. But it’s unreasonable to expect one person to be an amazing caregiver for her kids, a Michelin-quality personal chef, and a personal assistant. Those are three entirely different jobs,and it would run one person into the ground to try to do all this. That was my main objection to it. A “household manager,” which I think is what she labeled it, would typically supervise and manage a nanny/housekeeper/chef/assistant and not do all those jobs themselves.
I still can’t believe this is an actual job posting and not a joke. However, the author is definitely from California because her sample math problem is about “going to the snow.” I grew up in California and have never heard a non-Californian use that expression.
Lol. Time and a half is what you are required by law to pay for overtime for hourly employees.
More power to this mom. I can see how this went viral but it makes sense for the right position. This is this mother’s way of saying this is a well compensated job and she is looking for a nanny who is young, active and able to travel multiple times per year with the family. FYI in my pricey DC suburb the going rate for a nanny of 2 kids is $20 per hour, for 3 or more it is up to $25 per hour.
I have a full time nanny I found by placing an ad on care dot com and all I put in the listing was my photo, description of the kids and ages, salary hours we needed and that there would be light housekeeping, children’s laundry and the requirement of a background check, clean driving record, etc. she has worked for us since 2018 and she is wonderful.
I don’t think it’s an unreasonable role- she has an au pair, a handyman and a cleaning person. What she wants is a super on the ball SAHM type person to be the mom she wants to be when she’s not there.
The JD itself is a little…extra…and I wouldn’t want to work for her for that reason. But I after sifting through the silliness of it all, the woman has 2 10 year olds and basically needs a SAHM to help figure out vacations/camps, interact with the kids, do basic household stuff in the way she wants it done (cooking organic, cleaning, etc).
It reads to me like a paid yuppie SAHM gig for two 10 year olds and a high maintenance spouse.
Also, the linked interview with her is worth a read. She’s pretty explicit about the fact that she’s basically hiring a SAHM .
Like most folks here, I’m a bit conflicted.
On the one hand, good for her for clearly communicating her expectations! If someone thinks it’s crazy, they don’t have to waste their time applying. They can read it, chuckle, and move on!
BUT I think the cooking expectations are what makes it a bit…much. Especially reading articles about why beef is bad (??). I’d imagine it’s rare to find a Household Manager who can also fill the full-time chef role? This person is also managing multiple staff members, which most of us know takes a lot of time out of your day…
This is honestly kind of an amazing reference for high-functioning working women who are considering becoming SAHMs. Like, this is what they would be capable of and spend time doing as a SAHM. It honestly sounds amazing, and really good for the family. Hmmm…
Also now I’m wondering if I’M crazy.
We’re going to be hiring a late afternoon/early evening housekeeper/nanny for 15 hours a week. Very light on the childcare responsibilities (will be watching our very responsible 10-year-old when he gets off the bus, and maybe drive him to practices), heavier on the cleaning. I was considering posting an example task list for the week with the announcement to give people a concrete idea of what I’m asking for, but now I’m wondering if that’s overboard?
We can’t do it all. I think the ad is awesome.
The only thing I found weird was that I would typically see someone like this using an agency, not posting a random ad.
I saw this on Twitter when it first blew up. A few nannies and former nannies commented that, frantic tone and weird manager vibe aside, the requirements and responsibilities were pretty realistic for high end nannies, although the market rate would be low 6 figures, not 70-75K like the Slate interview mentions.