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Updated: Apr 17, 2021 206 Comments · by

Budget Thursday: Delicate Chain Extender

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Delicate Chain Extender

I am putting this product under “Budget Thursday” because it looks like a smart way to make your existing jewelry work extra duty. This is a chain extender that lengthens jewelry so that it works for different types of necklines. I recently noticed that my favorite jewelry store now has most of their necklaces with this closure already built in, and I think it’s so smart. Today while getting dressed, I wanted to wear silver jewelry instead of yellow gold, but I was wearing a high neckline. Luckily, my new necklace had a chain extender and I put it on the longest setting, and voila, now the charm of my necklace hung over my shirt. This one is $10 at Baublebar.com. Delicate Chain Extender 

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Sales of note for 11.28.23…

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • BabyJogger – 25% off 3 items
  • Crate & Kids – Up to 50% off everything plus free shipping sitewide; save 10% off full price items
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – 50% off everything + free shipping
  • ErgoBaby – 40% off Omni Breeze Carrier, 25% off Evolve 3-in-1 bouncer, $100 off Metro+Stroller
  • Graco – Up to 30% off car seats
  • Nordstrom – Big deals on CRANE BABY, Petunia Pickle Bottom, TWELVElittle and Posh Peanut
  • Strolleria – 25% off Wonderfold wagons, and additional deals on dadada, Cybex, and Peg Perego
  • Walmart – Savings on Maxi-Cosi car seats, adventure wagons, rocker recliners, security cameras and more!

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About April

April is a working mom, a longtime reader of CorporetteMoms, and wrote our morning fashion advice for working moms from April 2018 to October 2020. She has one child (born 2/17!) and she’s a public interest lawyer in NYC.

Comments

  1. HSAL says

    What are your best storage ideas for kids art stuff – coloring books, markers/crayons, paint, playdoh, etc? I want it kid-accessible, ideally under 20 inches wide. I’ve been thinking about a Trofast frame from IKEA, but I’m looking for other options as well. Container Store had this great metal storage unit where the drawers swung out, but I’d rather not spend $200.

    • Cb says

      What about one of the IKEA trolley carts? You could organise it with dividers and you could move it from place to place. We use ours as a mobile office for me / art supply holder for kiddo.

      • Marilla says

        We use this too and I’m happy with it. I have a bunch of different containers and magazine racks to hold all the construction paper, colouring books, crayons, stamps, stickers, markers, craft supplies, etc. The only downside is my 18 month old can reach the bottom two shelves and likes to create chaos once in a while. I do keep the paint on a high shelf in the kitchen so the kids can’t independently get to it. We use the Trofast bins for toys but I find they’re too wide and too shallow for art stuff.

      • HSAL says

        I’ve wanted an excuse to get one of those, but I think I need more shelves in the same amount of vertical space. But I do like the idea of using dividers in there, and maybe there’s more I can do to store things vertically.

        • Cb says

          I’ve used a tea tin and some mugs to organise brushes etc. And we don’t keep loads and loads around. I store my laptop/charger/mouse and paperwork in the top level and kids stuff in the bottom two.

      • I Drink Spring Water says

        We have a metal cart from Target that I love. I divide up the space on each shelf with bins and also bought some magenetic pen holders at Staples to stick on the sides to expand storage space for smaller stuff. Love it for art supplies: https://www.target.com/p/3-tier-metal-utility-cart-made-by-design-153/-/A-53314604?preselect=53166281#lnk=sametab

        If you search “KIds Art Cart” on pinterest, there are some great ideas. And I say this as a person who is not at all pinteresty, I just love being organized.

    • shortperson says

      we have two “Stackable Craft Organizer Drawers” from the container store for “mixed media” projects, washi tape, etc. and shoe drawers for playdoh, paint supplies,etc. all stuffed into a cabinet. i spent a lot of time at the container store with measuring tape to get the right combo.

    • Emily S. says

      Following because my storage is less than ideal. What works: magazine holders for loose construction paper, coloring books, and paint pads (one each); 4-cup caddies for crayons, colored pencils, and markers (one each), and a clear plastic bin (sweater box?) from the Container Store for play-doh. All of these are stored in cubbies in our wall organizer. What doesn’t work: paint and paint supplies are in a big clear bin on a high shelf in the coat closed (necessary to keep it out of reach but it hurts my shoulder to pull it down every time), random crafts stuff (washi tape, glitter, etc.) unorganized in a bin also in the coat closet, and the oversize coloring pages that sit on top of that stuff in the closet. I also need a way to keep my older daughter’s craft scissors out of reach of the 2.5 year old without me having to get them down all the time.
      Plug for crafts supply: Lakeshore Learning’s Art & Crafts Supply Cabinet. It comes with a zillion strings, popsicle sticks, etc., in a cabinet, with 12 crafts ideas! We gave it to our 4.5 year old for Christmas and she uses it everyday. And I appreciate that I don’t have to constantly come up with crafts ideas, but can look at the pamphlet.

    • Anon says

      The day I want art supplies kid-accessible will be a day for celebration. Right now the name of the game is as high and as hidden as possible, because we’re still in the must be supervised like a hawk if mama doesn’t want to remove pencil or crayon (markers and pens are all hidden) from walls, TV screens, chairs, floors, windows, clothes, and – a new one last night from a stray colored pencil that was missed – leather desk chairs).

    • anon says

      We have a small kids table and mounted on the wall behind it is an Ikea rail with separate utensil cups: markers, scissors, colored pencils, and glue/tape. I really like them because they don’t get knocked over (and thus dumped), but can be detached and carried to the kitchen table for bigger art projects. We also have a magazine holder mounted on the wall with two pockets, one holds new construction paper and the other coloring books. The kids can reach both easily. Other craft supplies is separated in bins on high shelves and requires an adult to get it.

    • anon says

      The best thing we did was dedicate a pullout drawer in our kitchen cabinets to craft stuff. We had to rearrange kitchen storage and more canned food needs to be stored in our basement, but it is worth it for me. We have stacks of paper in there loose, and then the craft supplies each go in various takeout soup containers or Rubbermaid (crayons, markers, playdoh).

      • anon says

        This was the arrangement in my childhood home. Currently, part of our living room entertainment center (open floor plan) is dedicated to our art stash. It doesn’t look beautiful but it functions well.

      • Pogo says

        That’s what we have. It’s easily accessible and in theory he could put his own stuff away too (lol). Also open-ish floor plan and it’s in the dining room, which is also where his easel is. Art is only allowed in that room, too.

    • Pigpen's Mama says

      Does the big Amazon box in the corner of my dining room that I’ve tossed everything that doesn’t get put away into the cabinet and boxes I bought just for this count?

      • DLC says

        Hah! Yes absolutely!
        My three year old is in a “put things in box” phase. The other day, I was going to tidy and organize before the cleaning people came, and my son just started throwing random things into a large diaper box (I’m a dump truck! He says). I had been planning to go through this diaper box and put things back where they belong, but I find myself looking at the overflowing box and thinking, “Nah. I think we’re good here.”

    • Anonymous says

      We have a Trofast that we currently use for other things (because my 2yos cannot be trusted with easy access to markets/glue/stickers) but we bought it with the intention of turning it into art supply storage in a year or so and I think it will work great for that. They’re good at pulling out the bins to get the things they need.

    • Beth @ Parent Lightly says

      We have a rolling cart with 12 small drawers that I really like. It’s called 12 Drawer Mobile Organizer. The drawers are shallow and we can sort the supplies into things like:
      – Pencils
      – Clay
      – White paper
      – Colored Paper
      – Scissors
      – Tape

      Etc

  2. Petite Mom says

    Any experience or ideas as to what could possibly cause preschooler to have night wakings? My 3 year old son started waking up in the middle of the night, come in our bed, sometimes he falls asleep, sometimes he takes more than an hour to go back to sleep. If he did fall asleep he wakes up an hour or two earlier then usual. We are all exhausted. I am calling the school today to ask them to monitor him. He is a very sensitive kid. The fact that I’m losing my patience with him doesn’t help either.

    • Anonymous says

      Is he still napping? Kids can be very variable in when they need drop their nap. He might be done with napping. Or keep the nap but move bedtime later? Or drop the nap and move bedtime later? I also find my kids don’t sleep well on the days they don’t get a lot of outside time. Even a walk around the block when we get home helps.

      • Anon says

        +1 On days mine naps he sleeps worse at night. I also second the later bedtime (some kids just stop needing enough sleep). Also, getting enough outdoor time is tough in the winter and that plays a role for us. Other than that…may just be a phase you have to accept. My four year old is only just now starting to reliably sleep through!

        • Anon says

          *stop needing A LOT of sleep, not enough. I also seem to have just repeated the whole comment above mine…clearly *I* still need more sleep!!

    • Anonymous says

      I could write a book. Assuming you have a healthy 3 y/o, it could be nightmares, having to pee (not urgently), and / or too much sleep (drop the nap).

      My now 4 y/o has/had crazy disordered sleeping and we’ve been to sleep clinics, had a sleep study done, etc. Her issue is that she wakes up at 1:30am and can’t fall back asleep until 3am. She doesn’t nap and hasn’t since 2.5. What helped: keeping her up way, way later than you’d think (8:30pm for a 6:30am wakeup- no naps). My two other kids sleep 12 hours and they are 2 and 7. That didn’t really fix the problem, but it helped.

      After her sleep study ruled out pedi sleep apnea, a heart condition and epilepsy, we were left with a working theory that she has mild restless leg syndrome (RLS). She’s not old enough to be really useful in terms of relaying symptoms, but it does fit especially as she’s not the worlds most diverse eater and runs low-normal for iron count (anemia can cause RLS). We put her on an iron supplement and multivitamin and that has actually helped! We’ve only gotten to this new trial in 2020 but have been chasing this problem for over a year now.

    • Pogo says

      Is he cold? That’s our issue I think. Mine is super stubborn and refuses a sleep sack, fuzzy footie sleeper, and any type of quilt or blanket that is not Blankey (Blankey is a small knitted security blanket whose actual ability to provide warmth is very questionable). It is driving me nuts, especially as we just moved him to his toddler bed so now he’s free to roam. I do not like to encourage sleeping in our bed, but sometimes when he wakes up he is literally shivering, and of course refuses to be covered up. Last night I considered it a win when at 12:30 I wrapped Blankey around him and convinced him I would sit outside his door until he fell back asleep. I also turned up the heat.

      Toddler waking is extra infuriating because it feels like they should be able to tell you what’s wrong, but they really can’t. Hugs.

      • Anon says

        That sounds tough. Could Blankey get a big brother, full-size blanket who likes to visit in winter months?

  3. anon says

    Does anyone else’s daycare occasionally miss feedings? DS is in the infant room at the same daycare his toddler sister attends and has attended since she was a baby. When DD was an infant this never happened, but the infant room has now missed a feeding twice for DS. I know in the grand scheme of things, it’s not a big deal – but it’s a pretty essential part of what we expect daycare to do. It’s a fairly small infant room (fewer kids than when DD was in that room) so it’s not even that busy. I’m disappointed it’s happened twice now but wonder if I’m overreacting?

    • Jessamyn says

      Is their reasoning that they just straight up forgot? Because yes, that would be alarming — it points to a lack of focus, organization, systems, and accountability, all of which impact other aspects of your child’s safety beyond just a single feeding. If the reasoning is that the baby was asleep or didn’t seem hungry, maybe you just need to have a conversation about the priority that is placed on feeding every feeding, at the appointed time. Good luck!

      • HSAL says

        I agree with this. There are a lot of variables in infant rooms, and I generally trusted our providers to know if a kid only needed 3 bottles instead of 4 on a particular day. The only time I said something was when they only gave one of my kids 2 bottles, and I asked them to make sure he got at least 3 in. But forgetting would be unacceptable. 10:01 anon below, that is horrifying.

        • Anonymous says

          Yeah, same. Ours offered bottles every 3 hours, as planned, but there were times when they’d tell us that she didn’t want more than half an ounce and they didn’t force it. And sometimes it was more like 4 hours between bottles if she was napping and they didn’t want to wake her up. Forgetting (more than once!) is a red flag, though.

    • anon says

      We switched daycares after ours forgot to feed our infant for 8 hours. It’s a big problem. If they’re forgetting bottles, they’re probably also not on top of changing diapers.

    • Anonymous says

      I don’t think you’re overreacting, that is a pretty basic part of caring for an infant. Have you talked to the director about it? What is their reaction when you let them know they missed a feeding? Have they indicated anything they’ll change to make sure it doesn’t happen again?

    • Anon says

      I try to be a pretty laid back daycare parent, but this happened to us and after twice I decided it was worth a conversation. I asked directly why it was happening – not a friendly question amid small talk during drop off, but a pointed phone call during the day as I found that I got better attention over the phone between 9-11 and 1-3, basically outside of drop off/pick up hustle and bustle. I’d encourage you to ask. You might find out that your child slept longer than usual or had some other reason why, but in my case they legit forgot, which was not ok and it never happened again.

  4. Ava Thoughts? says

    Ready to start trying again after our miscarriage last fall. First kiddo it took 1 month. Pre MC (2+ years later), it took 9 months. I’m not getting any younger, and Ava keeps popping up in my feeds. Anyone find it helpful, not helpful? It’s not cheap (but also well within my discretionary spending) and seems so much better than daily strip testing, notebook tracking, etc., which is the other option I’m considering to try and speed the process up this time. But is it all just pretty marketing? Pretty sure I ovulate late based on when we conceived the MC, but would like to get more clarity around it – with a toddler that doesn’t sleep (or only sleeps with us) and two very tired parents, the “every other day for two whole weeks while guessing what the window is” isn’t really our thing.

    • Anonymous says

      I used TempDrop combined with ovulation prediction stick from Amazon and found it helpful. I looked at Ava but found it was overpriced and had unnecessary features – TempDrop is much cheaper and gets you the key data.

    • Alli says

      TTC now, I’ve heard good things about Ava, but the temp drop is what I hear the best about, and what I’ve been using. It works with interrupted sleep and you can see a clear shift for ovulation. I would do the temp drop over Ava.

  5. Jessamyn says

    Ok, the latest blogger trend seems to be scanning in your kids’ artwork, uploading them to print sites, and having hard copy bound books of your kids’ artwork created to capture it for all eternity. I’m battling my guilt for not doing this and looking for some affirmation.

    I mean, I’m in my mid-30s and do not feel my childhood was at all negatively impacted by the fact that no such book existed for me, nor do I wish I had one now as a grown woman. In fact, such an item would be just another “keepsake” I’d have to move between my many adult homes but feel too guilty to throw away. I know, I know, just delete it and move on. But I feel like it’s just another one of those “cool ideas” that ends up making moms feel guilty.

    • Anonymous says

      I log these ideas as retirement projects. As in I’ll probably have time to do it when I’m retired and unlikely to do it before them. I have a plastic bin for each kid that I toss the ‘keep’ artwork into. We have a few clipboards around the house where the kids can display their current fav pieces.

      For some of these bloggers, coming up with content is literally their job so they will suggest a million projects that no full time working mom will have time for. It’s literally their job. You have another job.

      • Jessamyn says

        Haha!! I LOVE this perspective, see, this is why I come to this board. Yes. Creating cute kid art books is their job. Being a lawyer is mine. Thank you. Just like they don’t need to feel guilty about not drafting an NDA this morning, I don’t need to feel guilty about doing their job, either. Thank you.

        • Jessamyn says

          Also it just occurred to me — the blog entries may even be sponsored by the photo-book company. So my feeling guilty about not making one is no different than seeing a commercial for the latest Mattel toy and feeling guilty about not buying it!

      • ChiMom says

        “It’s literally their job. You have another job” is the BEST mom reminder I’ve heard in a long time. Thank you!

    • Cb says

      Agreed. I haven’t even managed to make photo books of his actual photos / update the baby book, I’m not going to manage a artwork photo book.
      I think they look really cute – assume your post was prompted by Anne – but I don’t have the bandwidth for that.

        • Jessamyn says

          Her blog is “in residence” and she did a post on this today — Cb is exactly right, that is what prompted the entry! “Rising-Shining” also did an entry on it a few weeks ago, which Anne references in hers.

          • Cb says

            Yes, I couldn’t remember the actual name of the blog. I actually really love her though. She’s one of the few bloggers who I still follow.

      • Anonymous says

        600 sqft and a baby did this a while ago, too. I don’t follow that blog but happened to see it there…I took approximately 5 pictures of art things and then realized this was not going to happen.

    • Anon says

      It seems better to me than what my mother did (recently just dropped off a big box full of my childhood artwork – like what am I supposed to do with that?). I take the “retirement approach” noted above – I take photos of the stuff that is cute and save them in my photo storage. I like the ‘zon for photo storage because it’s included with prime, it auto-back-ups from my phone, and with the date interface, it’s really easy for finding stuff or printing in the future. Maybe one day I will make such a book for DD – but I think I”m more likely to start making annual family yearbooks, which is another “wishlist” project.

      • Anonymous says

        I actually do make annual family yearbooks, and have been giving them as belated Christmas gifts to the grandparents each Jan. They all expect one now, so it forces me to actually do it, otherwise I’d probably let it slide. It usually takes me about 6-8 hours total to curate the photos from my and DH’s accounts and lay them all out in a book (in theory I could spread this out throughout the year, but it never works out that way).

        I do 1-2 pages of 3-8 photos each per month with an extra page or two for vacations or big holidays. It’s doable, and I’m really glad I have them, not least because I do NOT ever get around to ordering prints and putting them in old school albums.

    • Anon says

      I photograph some of it but definitely haven’t bothered to make a book yet.

    • Anonymous says

      I did that once for my son’s preschool art and have never looked at the book.

      • Jessamyn says

        Haha!! But you were supermom when you did it ;) Thank you for this affirmation <3

    • anon says

      I suspect that such a book would be more for your benefit than your kids’. My mom gets all nostalgic about my kid artwork. I don’t remember it and don’t have nearly the same attachment.

    • Marilla says

      I just threw out a ton of kid artwork my parents saved. Don’t feel guilty! It’s just stuff. Throw it out now before you get attached. I just put up a bulletin board in the kids’ playroom so I can put up their projects for a week or two then toss them out to make space for new ones. The only projects I feel guilt about are the big daycare scrapbooks that have pictures of the kids in them..

      • Jessamyn says

        “Throw it out now before you get attached” — AMEN!! I feel like there are so many things I have from my childhood that I don’t affirmatively want, but I’ve had it for 30+ years so I can’t just get rid of it NOW. Things become a family heirloom without you even meaning them to if you’re not careful.

      • DLC says

        Yes! I agree on purging before it becomes sentimental – also- don’t make it your kid’s problem. After my husband’s parents died, we had to go through so much stuff that they had kept and it was so emotionally difficult. I think I feel more guilt for the prospect of leaving so much for my kids to go through than I feel for throwing out their current artwork.
        Also- my parents just downsized and gave me a huge file box of school work. The stuff that I was really interested in was not the random art from when I was small, but rather the papers from when I was older- the creative writing assignments, the stuff I drew when I started really getting into drawing… Basically the things where I could see and remember what kind of person I was becoming.

    • Anonymous says

      I really never understood the trend of taking a picture of your kids art before throwing it away. Would I really ever want to go back and look it? Definitely not. I have zero interest at looking at pictures of my own artwork, so I can’t imagine my kid would either. We save a few special pieces (1-2 a year, seasonal decorations), but frankly I don’t want to burden my kid with a million things to throw out or sort through like my parents have done to me (and my husband’s have done to him). The request to go through old crap they saved it CONSTANT.

    • Beth @ Parent Lightly says

      Yeah…I have written about this and have a Google photos book half built but haven’t published it yet. I actually do it because my kids HAAAATE throwing their art away. So far just taking photos of “important works” before throwing them away seems to appease the kids.

    • Anon says

      We mercilessly throw out stuff DD brings home from daycare. I saved mothers/fathers day things with handprints and footprints, something from Christmas, but in 20 months of daycare, we’ve saved maybe 4 items. We’ve shipped things off to the grandparents on occasion, but largely it goes in the trash.

      I like the idea of a bulletin board in the playroom and might do that when DD is a little older and the hard has more… substance? She’s 2 now and it’s all scribbles and, while looks a heck of a lot like some of the art on the walls of our local modern art museum, I’m still not going to hang on to it. It’s just more stuff!

    • Anon says

      Maybe other kids are better artists than mine but everything that comes home is just splotches on a piece of paper with “ladybug” written underneath by the teacher. I have no reason to look back on it ever.

      • Jessamyn says

        HAHA! No I think you’ve accurately described the level of what we’re dealing with here. Or an ugly cartoon printout of a castle half-colored-in with clashing colors going outside the lines…

    • Cate says

      One thing I did hear which I’ve adopted is that when people do keep kids art they write the kids age on the back. I want to start doing this as I find it hard to know on the limited stuff I have kept!

    • anon says

      I know some moms who would do this, and I am definitely not one of them. It is hard enough for me to make a family yearbook of our photos — and I actually enjoy doing that kind of thing when I have time! I chuck probably 90% of my kids’ art. Before doing that, it usually gets a place on the fridge for awhile. We’ve enjoyed it, and then we’re done. Kids don’t seem terribly offended.

      Tough love here: Bloggers are usually not great models for how to live your life. Not to say their ideas suck, because they don’t, but think of it as very public homemaking. Good for them, not for us.

    • SC says

      My parents downsized a few years ago. They were in the fortunate position to be able to buy a new place and then spend A YEAR going through their stuff, throwing a ton away, and organizing the remainder. They spent another year renting a storage shed to go through the last bit of it.

      During these two years, my mom would occasionally send me boxes of sentimental stuff. I’d throw out everything but the photos. When I visited my parents, we went go through boxes of art work, clothes, toys, books, a lock of hair and my first lost tooth, my hospital bracelet from when I had meningitis when I was 1 yo (my mom, nonchalantly–“Oh, that’s from the time you almost died.”) WTAF? Who saves their kid’s hospital bracelet? And it’s creepy to see old hair and a tooth in an envelope. We threw away everything but some children’s books. I laughed so hard, I cried.

      They’re typical of their generation. And I think it’s largely a burden on ours, and will be even more as the Boomers pass away. I see my parents cleaning out their house and throwing all that crap away as a wonderful gift to me. I see myself not keeping boxes of “sentimental” stuff as a gift to future me and my child.

      And really, if you don’t want the book, having one made is wasteful consumerism and doubles the resources put into the object. Guilt is not a reason to keep an object, let alone spend money and resources making a new one. (If you want the book and will fondly look back on your kids’ precious art, no judgment.)

      I’ll get off my soapbox now…

      • Jessamyn says

        I love this. Hear, Hear. Thank you for this eloquent post, and good for your parents for taking control of The Stuff now, while they still can.

      • FVNC says

        OMG my parents have saved some of my and my sister’s teeth, too. It’s so creepy.
        They have not yet downsized, but they did recently finish their attic (so, opposite of downsizing) and that forced then to go through a ton of boxes of stuff they’d held onto. They gave me a lot of my childhood “treasures” they’d saved, including artwork, and I also threw out almost everything.

        • Jessamyn says

          Haha!! I currently have my oldest’s first lost tooth in a baggie in my dresser… I don’t know, it just feels like too momentous an occasion to just pitch it with the evening trash… but maybe I should before it’s 30 years from now and I’m giving it to her and creeping her out!

          • FVNC says

            In fairness, my parents have never tried to give me my teeth, so if you want to keep it for YOU, go right ahead! :)
            Discovering an envelop of baby teeth at the bottom of my mother’s jewelry box while searching for a pair of earrings — I still say creepy, haha!

        • HSAL says

          True confession: we haven’t lost any teeth to save yet, but I did briefly save the belly button stump before my faculties returned and I was like “wait what?”

      • CPA Lady says

        A-freaking-men to everything you just said.

        I immediately throw away 95%+ of my kid’s “art” and have since she was old enough to scribble scrabble. I think I’ve kept maybe 10-15 items total and she’s 5. I do take pictures of the 5% interesting looking stuff and put these photos in a printed photo book. But they are not the entire book. They are like 10 or 12 pictures of art to a page on the last two or three pages. I make these books during a very slow time at work and I can only do this because I work in a cyclical industry at a chill job, and I’m sitting around the office bored out of my skull anyway. I make them for my mom and MIL as xmas presents and just have one printed for us too. My kid loves looking at them and so do I.

        That said:
        1. my photo books are not carefully crafted or perfect in any way. I can throw an entire one together over the course of a couple of afternoons.
        2. I enjoy making them. I made scrapbooks in high school and college and enjoyed doing it. When I stopped enjoying it, I took a long break. I got back into the photo books as a sort of digital scrapbook when kiddo was born and actually have fun making them. I wouldn’t do it if it were annoying.
        3. I totally agree that the longer you keep something, the harder it is to get rid of it. I am so grateful that my mom threw away the vast majority of my childhood art and that it’s not something I’m going to have to have Feelings about if I were to get through a box I would need to sort through at some point.

        • SC says

          I actually like the idea of putting a few pages of art in the back of a photo book that you’re already making because you enjoy it! I just object to guilt, and specifically mom-guilt, motivating us to keep stuff and even have more stuff produced.

          That said, I’ve never made a photo book. I “favorite” some pictures in Photos. I’d like to make a photo book in theory, but Kiddo is 4, and theory hasn’t yet become reality.

      • Anonymous says

        We have currently saved hospital bracelets and some other things from when our twins were in the NICU… TBD if I’ll keep them long term, but currently they’re a reminder of “wow, look how tiny you were!”

    • Anon says

      I do take pictures of my kid’s artwork, partly to appease them if it turns out I threw away something they loved, partly to remember & see their progress, partly to help my guilt for tossing most, & partly b/c I upload it to Artkive which you can then have auto share to grandparents & I do know they love that (I get separately thanked every time & one set actually prints out some of it). I then throw the majority away & keep a few special pieces. I will say now that I have an almost 6 year old, some of his stuff is pretty cool/funny/gives insight into what’s going on in his head. (My 4 year old’s stuff is still scribbly).

      Despite this elaborate system, I literally have *0* desire to create an actual physical book of their stuff. We barely even look through our photo albums I make. Definitely don’t feel bad that you are not doing this, sounds just like more physical stuff to me.

    • Pogo says

      My niece and nephew’s daycare did an art project where they scanned the art and made it into mugs for them to give their parents. That’s about the level I’d go with – similar to photo books, I do them at xmas and give to grandparents.

      My approach is to keep a few items on the fridge or door (our garage door is magnetized unlike the fridge) and as new ones come in, I toss old ones out. I like having them up to look at (and occasionally DS will ask for example “where is my cat” when they made a paper bag cat puppet the other day; the answer is “you took it down and hid it somewhere, how should I know?”) but after a couple months they’re gone.

    • shortperson says

      i upload photos from the year into the last few pages of our annual photo album. i do 16-25 a page in basic rectangles, no cute formatting like the blogger. but personally i look to look back at how their art has evolved. i also sometimes ask my kids what they drew and edit the photo with a caption right after i take it. some of the captions are completely hilarious. but dont feel like you need to do this! you do you. i dont have a ton of free time (i’m in biglaw and am also the primary parent) but personally i categorize it as leisure time. sometimes when we have a babysitter i go to a coffee shop and zone on my album for three hours. or while i’m watching tv.

    • Anon says

      One of my parents just dumped baby blankets on me. I literally have no memory of those being my baby blankets, have no memory of having seen them before in my life, and wonder what I am supposed to do with items that are 40 years old, have no sentimental value to me, are worthless in dollar terms, and mean a lot to someone else.

      Seriously do not do this. Just make a digital album and call it a day.

    • Anonymous says

      I think art for kids is about the process of creating and experimenting, not achieving something worthy of being saved for all eternity. I throw out the results of such creation and experimentation ruthlessly, except a few rare pieces that my child seems to be particularly proud of.

      • Jessamyn says

        Yep, agreed. If my kids call me out on it (which, they rarely if ever do), I just tell them, the purpose was the fun you had in making it, and now we’re done with it.

  6. DLC says

    Does anyone have tips and tricks for flossing your kids’ teeth? At our last dentist appointment, our dentist says I need to start flossing my 8 year old’s teeth, but a) it grosses me out a little – I mean sometimes even flossing my own teeth grosses me out, and b) her mouth is so small that it is really hard to get to the back teeth.

    • Anonymous says

      Get the flossed stocks and let your kid do it. My kid was fine with those around 4.5/5.

    • Anonymous says

      If it were me, I might ignore this advice, but I didn’t start regularly flossing my own until I was 30 at least.

      • Anon says

        +1. I agree you can’t ignore your children’s dental health, but there are many good studies that the benefits of flossing are minimal to non-existent. Brushing and regular dental visits are much more important.

    • Anon says

      Get the kid’s flossing sticks. My preschoolers have been using them on the reg.
      Sorry I don’t mean to start a thing, but I disagree with ignoring the advice. There are life long consequences to letting adult teeth deteriorate, you can’t generate new teeth. It’s one thing for an adult to decide to let that happen and reap the consequences (which there might not be any, my husband has bad dental habits but unfairly awesome teeth) but I do feel like while you are responsible for someone else who doesn’t know better it’s a different story.

      • Anon says

        +1 Build habits now. My kids (4 and 2) loooove those flossers, and while they are a bit of a waste of money, my kids beg to floss twice a day (we only let them once, because money, ha)

    • Pogo says

      We use the sticks and LO sees us doing it so he wants to too. Just have to be careful to supervise b/c we get the kind with a toothpick at the end which is a disaster waiting to happen. I do feel like it doesn’t do much at all right now because his teeth don’t touch yet? If that makes sense.

  7. in-house woes says

    Ugh, to the in-house attorneys. I’m in-house and not empowered to make these decisions but we are having issues with our outside counsel being incredibly expensive – and the costs are getting passed on to parties that can’t afford it. we’re looking to use different counsel and it’s all messy. i hate conflict! that’s why i’m not a litigator.

    anyone else ever have to break up with outside counsel over their inability to keep costs down (this is for a series of transactions – we’ve done 3 now and no improvement)? the main partner we work with is old friends with our GC, which is how they got the deal in the first place. I’ve wanted to use different people from the beginning but i’m trying to tread lightly here!

    • Good luck says

      Yes, all the time. The biggest lesson/mistake of my career was letting another attorney dictate outside counsel, while I was the one accountable to the client for the bill. He let the bill go unchecked (he liked being the lucrative client who was courted by the firm), and I got in a lot of hot water for it. I will never let that happen again.

      First, go over every invoice with a fine tooth comb. Note any and every line item that looks wrong or excessive. Write down who billed it and when. Tally them up — and break them down by month.

      Sit down and walk through every problematic line item with outside counsel. Ask them to explain. Ask them for a solution moving forward. Maybe they will offer a discount that will solve your problem. I doubt it, but it happened…once. Solved a lot of problems.

      Shop the work to other firms. Be clear that you are moving because of cost issues. Ask them what their cost savings ideas/efficiencies would be. Think about alternative fee arrangements.

      Then sit down with your GC. Recap your findings and provide a clear recommendation for what your solution is.

      If you have to fire outside counsel, then just do it. Be professional and firm. Be clear that it’s about unchecked costs.

      • OP says

        I love this. Exactly the sort of advice I was looking for.

        Traditionally my office has signed off on bills without checking over them carefully. We’re very conservative and value incredibly deep due diligence on the part of outside counsel. BUT these projects are different and we need a new approach.

        I’m going to review invoices now!

    • Anon says

      As the outside counsel I will say a lot of our clients are moving to computerized billing systems. Depending on how task codes are set up, it can be a royal pain to get time in, but with reasonable task codes or billing systems that aren’t really aggressive (i.e., only one verb per entry), I think it can be helpful for controlling costs. I will say as a corporate person, we are constantly fighting with our other colleagues about how to keep costs down on a bill – it’s a constant battle as the person who is responsible for talking to the client about a bill.

      Do you have billing guidelines with your counsel? A lot of our clients have guidelines that are explicit about they won’t pay for X, Y, Z, if time isn’t on the bill on time, it doesn’t get paid, etc.

      We’ve also had to repitch work for long-term clients when a new legal or finance person comes in. Typically on a “we really like you, but new regime, want to take a fresh look, etc.” So if you want to preserve the relationship, you could do an RFP process and invite existing counsel (who typically has an advantage because they know you and your work) and a few others to come pitch, and then use that to either break up firmly or negotiate down.

    • IHeartBacon says

      As outside counsel whose client contact is often in-house counsel, I have to say that the greatest kindness you can ever show to outside counsel is to let him/her know they are doing something that is putting the relationship at risk. There is nothing more frustrating/disappointing/angering/blindsiding than when a corporate client calls out of the blue and says they are taking files away with no warning or explanation. All I am left with is my own imagination as to what went wrong. If I received a call or an email from in-house counsel (regardless of that person’s status within her own department) that warned me that costs are out of control and there has been some talk within her department about possibly pulling the business away from my firm, BELIEVE ME when I tell you that I would jump to action, talk to my partner, talk to my managing partner, and my whole firm would come up with a plan to make sure we maintain the relationship and keep the client. Law firms only exist to work for clients. I know you couched the issue as “I hate conflict!” but believe me when I tell you that your outside counsel will not consider it conflict if you say something. S/he will consider it a kindness. Now, after that conversation, if things still don’t improve, then you did your part by given them a chance to change. If they don’t change, that’s on them.

      • OP says

        Totally fair. We’ve had several conversations with them about keeping costs down already, this shouldn’t blindside them. The costs aren’t being borne by us but by nonprofit counterparties and I’m not sure how they haven’t figured out this is a different ballgame. We’ve been protecting our own interests (as have our attorneys) but there’s this disconnect that they just haven’t seen or responded to at all.

        • IHeartBacon says

          Oh, well that’s a different story if you’ve already had discussions with them and they’re not making changes/improvements.
          Fire them. Law firms are a dime a dozen. You don’t need the added stress in your. life.

  8. anony says

    In your experience talking to other moms and your own, do you think bedsharing is more common than most people think? I was in a new moms group yesterday with my 6 week old and we all somewhat sheepishly admitted to bedsharing, either with the baby next to us or on us, as the only way we were able to get any sleep. Most of us, myself included, had been dealing with continual wakings throughout the night and ended up bedsharing out of desperation. Our facilitator said that almost all moms she encountered ended up doing it, but just didn’t want to admit it since it goes against the guidelines. So, thoughts? If you bedshared, how long did you do it for? I’m ok with my decision to do it, but don’t want to do it forever as I find it uncomfortable. Also, it doesn’t solve the issue with naps!

    • Anon says

      I didn’t, but I know quite a lot of moms who did. I’m a heavy sleeper and was worried about rolling over on her. I only co-slept one time when I was traveling and my baby had an ear infection and would not sleep any other way, but other than that, she slept in a crib in her own room.

    • Cb says

      I think it’s super common. I left my childbirth class swearing to never bed share and I made it 3 days? I read up on the safest way to bedshare and didn’t have any risk factors (no alcohol, full term baby, was breastfeeding) and while I didn’t do it every night, I did decide that having the baby in with me in a controlled way was safer than us falling asleep while I was sitting up. I slept on my side with my lower arm out, with no covers, and baby between me and his sidecar cot.

      I felt super guilty about it but it was the only way we got any sleep for the first 7 or 8 months.

    • SC says

      We co-slept in the early morning hours for several months. So, Kiddo would sleep in the rock-n-play (pre-recall) for most of the night but wake up to nurse around 5 am. I would feed him, and we’d fall asleep with him on my stomach/chest until it was time for me to get up around 7 am. Two blissful hours of sleep, and some of my favorite time from babyhood. I justified it to myself with the thought that I wasn’t as deeply asleep during these hours and was unlikely to roll over on him. Maybe that’s true, maybe not.

      We did this from early days until probably 6-7 months, when we switched to formula and Kiddo slept longer in the mornings. Actually, I can’t remember when we stopped.

      • Doodles says

        We did something similar. After the last feeding at 5am, my kid would not want to go back down. My husband would hold him on his chest (kangaroo), sometimes falling asleep I’d assume, and I’d go sleep in the guest bedroom until 7. This lasted until around 7 weeks, at which point we moved baby from pack n play in our room to his own room/bed. He miraculously slept through the night (7pm-7am-ish) starting from that move.

    • FVNC says

      I suspect you’re right. Starting when he was a month or two old, I slept with my second pretty regularly, and not in accordance with bedsharing guidelines. I’m still not sure how I feel about my experience, to be honest — on the one hand: it was the only way either of us got sleep; I always, always woke up in exactly the same position I fell asleep in; I’m a very light sleeper; I have really sweet memories of these nights and I felt bonded to my second baby in a way that I never felt with my first (when she was a baby). On the other hand: it was probably dangerous and I never admitted to the pediatrician or friends that I was doing it.

    • layered bob says

      Yes, we intentionally bed-share/co-sleep and I’m very open that I do it and love it, so then lots (80%? as an estimate) of folks of my acquaintance feel free to share that they do too, at least some times.

      If the person I’m talking with indicates that they bedshare only “accidentally”, I like to mention practices that limit the risk, like a sidecar crib so baby is on a separate sleep surface, a very firm mattress, minimal pillows/blankets, wearing a long sleeved thermal henley to bed so I stay warm while nursing without having the blankets pulled up, etc.

      We switch our kids to their own rooms at 12 months without much trouble. We go right to a Montessori-style floor bed at that point so I still slept with them in their bed occasionally until 18ish months, like sometimes 5am til morning.

      Naps were tricky – one child didn’t really want to nap until 9ish months without behind held, to be honest. The other babies did fine with being laid down alone for naps pretty much from the beginning.

    • Jessamyn says

      The reason I never bed-shared is because a firefighter came to our infant-care class and told a story of a woman who had rolled over onto her baby and he was present when they were unable to save the child. Yep, I get that that was the one-in-a-million worst case scenario and driving down the highway with my kid in the car is probably more dangerous to her than co-sleeping. It still convinced me that the risk, however small, wasn’t worth it.

      I have no idea what other moms do, and my kids are school-age now. But just wanted to speak up for the “no” camp.

    • Anon says

      I did for about 7 weeks. I loved it. It was the only way to get sleep. I did not drink during that 7 week period, and I made my husband sleep in the guest room. We all talk about the dangers of co-sleeping and nothing about the dangers of a sleep deprived mom.

      • Anon says

        Amen to this. That month after birth was so incredibly upsetting until we started cosleeping and I got some of my sanity back. I am sure I was closer to strangling my daughter when sleeping separately and completely sleep deprived than rolling over her when cosleeping.

    • Anonymous says

      Sometimes I think I am the only person who didn’t do it. Aside from considerations of risk, there was no way I could have gotten any sleep with a baby and a 6-foot husband in a queen-sized bed. We used a pack n play within arm’s reach of the bed.

      • Anonymous says

        +1 – I could barely sleep in the same ROOM as my infant, and he was a decent sleeper. He was in the NICU for a week at birth, so had to get used to being alone early. (I know that probably has nothing to do with anything, but sometimes I wonder). I know plenty of people who co-slept some of the time.

        • Anonymous says

          PS – I also could not figure out how to nurse lying down until baby was at least a month old, and he rarely nursed himself to sleep when he was tiny.

    • anon says

      i did not and never even considered it for a second. i have twins and was very focused on establishing independent sleep habits from day 1 bc i need sleep. there are a few times i was tempted, but waaayyy too anxious about rolling over on my child.

      • Anonymous says

        We also didn’t, because twins. Our bed is not big enough for two parents and two babies/toddlers so starting to cosleep seemed like a slippery slope.

    • Anonymous says

      I have 3 kiddos and if you mean “do you let the baby sleep in your bed if you both fall asleep while nursing” then oh yes, for sure. Generally speaking, I tried to keep the baby in the crib but at some point or another they all slept in my bed at some point.

      Never ever ever have I let the kids think they “share” my bed though. Even when they are sick we try really hard to go to them in their bed, not have them in ours. The one exception is puking, since our bedroom has an ensuite so it’s the closest bed-to-bathroom setup.

    • Anonymous says

      I’m all of a week into motherhood, but no to bedsharing. I’m a heavy sleeper but have very little trouble waking up when my baby cries; my husband is the same way. For us, it’s not just about the guidelines; we would rather suffer now than create habits that will be very challenging to break.

      • Anon says

        I’m admittedly being the “annoying one” here, but no habits are being developed at one week old (really up to 8 or 12 weeks…unless you mean you are training yourself). And the sleep struggles are about to get way worse. That said, I was super against it with my first but there were some times (a few months in) when I was just pure exhausted and we both fell asleep for a few hours. My second was a great sleeper until about six months and we let him sleep part of the night in our bed way more than I ever would have dreamed. I’m still against bedsharing in principle…but you eat a lot of words as a mom! I’m not criticizing you so much as advising we all hold our plans loosely and give ourselves permission to do what we need to in the moment

      • Anon Lawyer says

        You can’t really be that shocked since 80% of US parents do it at some point according to all studies. (And I actually haven’t since my baby sleeps well on her own but let’s not pretend it’s a rare thing.)

      • Anonymous says

        I’m surprised too. I didn’t and don’t know anybody who did. A bunch of my friends used Rock N Plays or swings though, which might be equally or more unsafe.

        • Anonymous says

          Rock N Play or swings are way more unsafe compared to proper bed sharing practices.

      • Anonymous says

        Please call the entire subcontinent of India and tell them you are shocked.

        Seriously most of the eastern world co-sleeps.

        • strollerstrike says

          While that is true, a lot of the “co-sleeping countries” do not (traditionally) use western style bedding, which makes it a lot saver. My husband grew up in South East Asia and of course his mom co-slept with him but on a bamboo mat on the floor with only light blankets. That significantly limits the risk compared to co-sleeping in a boxspring bed with lots of fluffy pillows and blankets.

          • Anonymous says

            Most western parents who do it regularly also only use a light blanket, minimal pillows and remove the box spring.

        • Anon says

          Yes..I was shocked when I learnt babies sleep in a crib overnight or in different room altogether.

    • Anon says

      For the first 6 months, no. Kiddo was in the Halo bassinest next to me so always put back in there. At 3 months, she outgrew it and so we had to switch to the crib, but we also switched to a magic merlin that she slept pretty well in. Around 5 months, we had to take her out of the magic merlin because she was starting to roll in it, and that’s when her (admittedly already terrible) sleep went further downhill. After weeks and weeks of trying every sleep training known to mankind, we decided to go with a hybrid approach. We always put her to sleep in her crib no matter how many hours it took, but if there was a MOTN wakeup and it took more than 45 minutes to get her back down, she slept in our bed. At 17 months we switched to a toddler bed and had 2 glorious months of her sleeping all night long in her own bed with no wakeups. Then at 19 months, after many nights of again trying all the sleep training, we compromised with most sleep for most number of people. We leave the gate open, and if she wakes up in the MOTN (90% of the time), she runs down the hall and crawls in with us for the rest of the night. Do I love it? No. Do I fall asleep much faster and easier when I don’t have to get out of bed? Yes. Will she eventually sleep alone (like before college)? I hope so. At the end of the day, I think she just misses her mama and is lonely at night, because we’ve solved all the other problems (hot, cold, thirsty, dark, stuffed animals, noise, etc.)

    • anon says

      No, no, a million times no. I had way too much anxiety about doing it wrong, accidentally rolling over, absentmindedly pulling blankets over both of us, etc. I’m sure there are times when it would’ve made my life easier, but the risks made it decidedly not worth it for me.

      • AwayEmily says

        +1 to the anxiety part — it wasn’t so much the objective risk (because I agree that they are real but can be very much reduced by being careful and following best practices) but ultimately my ANXIETY about the risks that made this a no-go. I’d rather deal with a few sleepless nights than the anxiety bedsharing would induce. even without doing it, I had recurring nightmares about falling asleep and my kid suffocating in bedclothes.

    • Anonymous says

      I did it at various stages with all my kids. Started after I fell asleep while nursing sitting up in a chair. That’s not safer vs. lying down to nurse and co-sleeping. Reviewed the La Leche safe sleep guidelines to make sure I felt comfortable. https://www.llli.org/breastfeeding-info/sleep-bedshare/

      Majority of the time we didn’t co-sleep and I had the crib right next to my bed so I could put a hand through the bars and onto baby (swaddled) which seemed to satisfy baby’s need for touch while also allowing me to sleep more solidly vs when I was cosleeping. 5 year old still climbs in bed for a quick cuddle in the morning which I love. It goes by too fast.

    • strollerstrike says

      Our five months old still sleeps in his bedside sleeper/co-sleeper. Ours is called babybay bedside sleeper. I love that thing and am sad that he will grow out of it soon.
      For me, it’s the best of both worlds, easy access to nurse at night, yet he has his own sleeping surface and i can’t roll over him. I keep my blanket stuffed under the mattress at the foot of our bed with a bit of a distance so it can’t easily slide over onto his bed.
      Yes, it is a bit of an investment for a baby item you will only use a few months but the peace of mind and extra sleep makes it so worth it for me.
      He still goes down independently for naps and bedtime, so I don’t think it necessarily creates bad sleeping habits.

    • anon says

      1st kid we very rarely did it. I was sleep deprived and miserable. 2nd kid we started around 6 weeks and he stayed until about 9 month. 3rd kid we started from the beginning and we are all much happier for it.

      I hate the horror stories that go around, because no one is telling you not to put your kid in a crib because of SIDs, they just focus on safe sleep. So why can’t we focus on safe bedsharing (yes, that is actually a thing). There are risk factors that you should avoid and if you do so, bedsharing is actually safer than crib sleeping at certain ages. Most deaths are from someone having one of the risk factors, or being in a chair or on a couch (which is classified as a cosleeping death, but is not bedsharing).

      • Anonymous says

        So much this. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a co-sleeping death that occurred in a situation where safe bedsharing criteria were met. It’s problematic when parents have consumed alcohol, there are multiple blankets/pillows etc, when baby is formula fed and sleeps more soundly, when baby is sleeping with parent on a couch or other non-firm surface.

    • Anonymous says

      I did the 5-7am bed share (her sleeping on my chest) until about 6 months with my first, no bedsharung with my second since he’s always been a good sleeper. I would not do it with my husband in bed because he’s a very very heavy sleeper.

      • Anonymous says

        Oh also…I wouldn’t worry about bad habits. Sleep is all over the place for the first 2 years and you can usually break one of their “habits” in like 3 days. Kids are adaptable

    • So Anon says

      With my first, I started bed-sharing when he absolutely would not sleep in any other way, and I felt horribly guilty and anxiety ridden about it. For a while. I put safe bed-sharing guidelines into place and didn’t look back. With my second, I didn’t even pretend that she was going to be in her crib/pac’n play when she came home. We bed-shared from day 0 (including in the hospital), and I was very open about it. We followed all of the guidelines. I remember what a luxury it was to sleep in my bed with a blanket during those years (when I would nap on my own). I co-slept for years, and slowly moved them to a cot in my room, into their room, etc. My kids are now 6 and 8. They sleep in their own rooms.

    • Anon says

      I didn’t. The bassinet was next to the bed, so baby was already next to me. Didn’t see a reason I needed them in the bed.

    • Anonymous says

      I did. Sporadically with each of them throughout the first year, iirc, but regularly with my daughter in the first 4-6 months. It was the only way either of us got any sleep.

      All my kids have gone through phases where the want to sleep in my bed again , esp ages 2-4, and I don’t have the energy to kick them out if they climb in to snuggle in the middle of the night.

  9. octagon says

    Help me brainstorm physical activities for kiddo’s 4th birthday? We are renting space in a local gym and there will be a staff member to lead, but I’d like to give some direction. So far all I can think of is the hokey pokey and duck duck goose (and maybe a parachute for parachute games if they have one). Would prefer not to do things like musical chairs because some of the friends are really sensitive about losing.

    • Anonymous says

      Talk to the gym. If they are providing a staff member to lead the games, I’d be very surprised if they didn’t have a very well-practiced plan.

    • Anon says

      follow the leader (jump like a frog, walk like a crab, skip, etc.), simon says. red light, green light (though it does involve a winner/loser, though duck duck goose can too?), freeze dance

    • Anonymous says

      obstacle course (cones, tunnels, hula hoops etc) for sure. For games, how about “What Time is It Mr. Fox?”, freeze tag, the freeze dance, etc? The limbo?

      Bean bag toss? Bowling?

      I’d get bubbles and maybe set up a station for a non-physical activity like tattoos or face paint or cookie decorating or decorate-your-own-superhero-cape.

    • Marilla says

      My 4 year old’s gym teacher does a lot of fun running games. They often do run/freeze (they call this “Mr Freeze”, they also do dance + freeze music parties), and a favourite is “shark attack” (one wall is the ship, one is the shore, kids have to run in between and hop on one leg if a shark attacks – just googled and apparently this is called sharks and minnows). Search “signupgenius gym class games” for a link with more ideas.

    • Anonymous says

      Google cooperative games for non-competitive games. But at that age all my organized activity plans mostly failed – my son always just wanted to run around with his friends doing their own thing.

  10. fiber says

    Potentially an oddly-specific request. Recommendations for grocery store bagels that are higher in fiber? My preschooler happily eats a minibagel w/cream cheese as part of her lunch everyday, and I think we need to bulk it up a little (we also put fruit & veggies in her lunch, but she doesn’t consistently eat the higher fiber options and it’s starting to be a problem GI-wise). If you know of a minibagel that is high fiber and has toddler appeal, that’s great, but I also would get larger bagels and just send half. Seeking TJs, WF, or standard grocery store recs. Thanks!

    • Anonymous says

      Could you mix some bran in with the cream cheese or something? Possibly a disgusting idea.

    • drpepperesq says

      The company Dave’s Killer Bread makes Dave’s Killer Bagels. Those could be more nutritious than a regular bagel.

    • AwayEmily says

      My kids go bananas for raisin bread with cream cheese, and it may be easier to find a high-fiber raisin bread.

    • bagels says

      Thanks all! I’ve seen those Dave’s Killer bagels in the store, I think that’ll probably be what I try assuming they actually have more fiber. Sometimes the raisin bread w/cc is a hit, maybe we’ll try switching it up — I actually used to have that for school lunch all the time (I don’t know if it was high fiber bread but that combo generally).

  11. Pack N Play Sleep Help! says

    We’re going on vacation in 2 weeks and the plan is for 21-month-old to sleep in the pack-n-play. We have a suite at a hotel, so we will be able to make her room dark and we will of course be super quiet in the living room area while she sleeps and when we climb into the bed in the same room later at night. We did this exact trip when she was 11 mos and it worked fabulously.

    She’s traveled a fair amount in her short life, and this is probably her 4th hotel stay. The last stay was at grandma’s house and PNP sleeping went horribly. The most blood-curdling screaming you could imagine until someone went into the room with her. We’re pretty rigid cry it out people, too, so the fact we ended up having to co-sleep with her should say something about how bad it was. We had all the stuffed animals, sound makers and other bedroom things from home to make the room as familiar as possible, but no dice.

    Any tips for making PNP sleep work better or is this just a bad age for it? Any other tips? Are we terrible to institute CIO night #1 at a hotel, in hopes that the remaining 4 nights don’t suck?

    • Cb says

      I think it’s the PackNPlay. I have a Little Life travel tent which is great because you can get in with them and soothe them. It’s also very dark and he’s used to sleeping in it.

    • Anonymous says

      make the PNP way more comfy. My youngest is the same age as yours and it’s like she’s giving me the middle finger every time I ask her to sleep in one. Put at least 2 comforters down on the bottom. Stick a comfy sheet in.

      Also consider letting her sleep on the floor on couch pillows, or taking the PNP mattress and a pile of blankets and letting her sleep in the closet. We had to do that with my middle kiddo who raged all night at the idea of a PNP.

      You could also try calling the hotel and seeing if they have portable cribs–that may work better?

      • Ashley says

        There is also such a thing as a thicker mattress for the pack n play. Not recommended for infants because supposedly it can be a suffocation hazard, but I’d do it with a 21-month old.

        • blueridge29 says

          The thicker mattress made our pack n play a lot more comfortable. Worth a shot. Plus we used just the mattress down the road when we were traveling and needed an extra small bed for our youngest.

    • Anonymous says

      In the toddler/preschooler years my kids did better when they could hear us after bedtime in a new place. Usually I would tell them that we had to ‘tidy up and get ready for bed’ and then sort of loudly tidy (zip/unzip bags, get out clothes for next day) and take turns showering with the door open. Hearing where we were and what we were doing seemed to reassure them that we were close by in a new place. I closed the door to the room they were in to reduce them trying to talk to us. Another compromise might be for one of you to lie on the bed and read so kid doesn’t feel alone in a strange place. When using this method, I told them if they sit up or stand up I have to leave. Usually took a few times of pretending to leave before they would be consistent with staying lying down to sleep.

    • Anon says

      Please don’t CIO in a hotel! I get it’s hard, and I’ve been there, but it is just not fair to the people in the rooms around you who may be traveling for business or other reasons that really require sleep (or are just enjoying a getaway from their own kids). I’m team kids should be welcome everywhere (almost) but you do have to be considerate and not let your kiddo scream for hours, etc.

    • Anonymous says

      Omg no please don’t go to a hotel knowing this isn’t working with a plan to let her cry it out. There are other people in the world! Who do not want that on their vacation!

      • Anonymous says

        Agree. You can’t let a child CIO in a hotel room. Fussing for a few minutes is fine but you’re going to have an issue with management if they get complaints because a kid cried for 40 minutes etc.

        • Anonymous says

          at 7-8pm? i doubt it. at 12am, sure. But I’m a grumpy business traveler and even I wouldn’t complain about CIO type stuff for 20-40 min before 9pm.

          • Anon says

            If you let a child scream for 40 minutes?!!! You’re going to get evicted from the hotel no matter what time of day. That’s incredibly disrespectful. 5-10 minutes of crying is one thing but you can’t let a child scream for the better part of an hour. Hotels have very thin walls and a screaming child doesn’t just interfere with sleep – it also prevents other guests from working, watching TV, carrying on a conversation, etc.

          • Anon 1:04 says

            I don’t do much business travel so I was more thinking abut when i have my kids with me that they would be terribly upset if they heard a baby or child crying, no one helping them and I didn’t do something like ask reception to check if everything is okay.

            Having done child protection law, I’m also more likely to inquire into situations because I’ve seen enough to know that not every child crying in a hotel room has a loving parent trying to CIO or deal with a tantrum. It was pretty eye opening.

    • Ashley says

      Maybe slumberpod over the PnP so it’s dark? I wish I’d had one of those 2 years ago!

      My 2 yo has outgrown the pack n play length-wise, so we just bought the Joovy Gloo large tent for an upcoming trip. I can’t speak to how well it will work yet, though.

    • Nan says

      I am so sympathetic to toddler sleep struggles but please don’t CIO in a hotel! It’s not fair to those around in the rooms around you.

    • Pogo says

      Yeah I wouldn’t CIO in a hotel. It’s just not fair to other guests. I’m also pretty rigid CIO but when we’re travelling if he simply refuses the PnP (started from about the age you mention) I would either lay down on the floor next to him until he fell asleep or co-sleep.

      • OP says

        Yea. The reality is we wouldn’t actually let her CIO like we do at home, but I appreciate the gut check that it is the wrong move. She naps well at daycare on the floor mats with a simple sheet and blanket, so maybe the pillows or extra bedding on the floor for her is the way to go, with us ‘falling asleep’ next to her.

    • Anon says

      If the PNP is the problem, we really like the kids Aerobed. Kiddo falls asleep with us “sleeping” next to her, and then we can go do whatever. At nice hotels, we instead do a roll-away bed, which she thinks is awesome because it’s “hers”, but DD is 2.5.

    • Anonymous says

      If you think it’s discomfort from the PNP, I’d second looking into the extra mattresses. Alternatively, maybe abandon the PNP idea and give her a sleeping bag on the floor?

      We travel a ton with my kids and will definitely do things while traveling that we won’t do at home, which sometimes includes someone sitting in the room next to the upset kid until they fall asleep. I don’t think this means defaulting to cosleeping, if that’s not something you want to do; I have spent 45 minutes leaning into a PNP to rub a baby’s back, but then escaped to the living room and slept in my own bed later that night.

      We’ve also had really good luck with bringing a favorite stuffed animal from home and turning on the same music they sleep with at home, but it sounds like you’ve already tried those things.

    • AwayEmily says

      In hotels one of us will often stay in the room and read a kindle until the kid falls asleep. We refuse to engage or talk in any way, but the presence can be comforting.

    • Anonymous says

      I would not be convinced that lack of physical comfort is the problem – at that age traveling sometimes just made my son wide awake. I think he was excited to be in a new place.

      • Anonymous says

        +1. Fwiw my very large (almost 40″) 2.5 year old sleeps without complaint in a PNP every time we travel. I know that kids, like adults, have different preferences, but from what I’ve seen, the overwhelming majority of toddlers don’t care much about what we consider comfortable or not – they will fall asleep in bizarre positions, sit on all kinds of hard, uncomfortable things, play outside with no gloves when it’s 20 degrees, etc. I strongly suspect this has more to with anxiety about the new environment or separation anxiety. We travel every 4-6 weeks, so it has very much become normal for my kiddo, but I realize most people don’t travel that much, and it’s normal for toddlers to freak about something that isn’t very familiar to them.

    • Anonymous says

      Ask the hotel for a portable crib, DD always sleeps better in an actual crib

      • Anonymous says

        Hotel cribs (when they’re not PNPs, which most are) are typically smaller than PNPs, at least in my experience.

      • jM says

        Yes, ask for a hotel crib! My toddler won’t sleep in an PnP but sleeps soundly in a crib.

  12. Daycare time says

    Talk to me about using daycare hours to do personal things without your kids. I’ve been thinking about sending kiddo early or leaving work early to workout, and I often want to take a Friday afternoon off to get personal things done but not pick him up. Am I terrible? Do others do this?

    • Anonymous says

      Seems ideal! Do it! I often drop my kids off a bit early at daycare so I can run and do a target pick-up. Everything is just a million times easier when you’re not loading kids in and out of a car, cart, etc.

    • anon says

      that is a wonderful use of daycare! i give you permission to do this and not feel any mom guilt

    • Anonymous says

      I still feel slightly guilty that the days when my son’s daycare was open and my office was closed immediately after Superstorm Sandy were so blissful for me. Initially I was like, I’m going to send him to daycare and then go volunteer with local relief efforts, and my therapist told me to please go home and nap. We were in the throes of the 4 month sleep regression, living in a 1 bedroom apartment, and it was just heaven to sleep with him out of the house. Anyway, definitely do it. You will not be alone at all!

    • HSAL says

      I work three days a week and my children go to daycare five days a week. Sure, on occasion I’ll pick up my oldest early, but the default is that they’re there and I’m doing my thing. Zero guilt about this. You’re fine. If it helps, you can frame it as preserving the quality time together by running errands on your own faster than with a child.

    • Emily S. says

      This internet stranger does not think you are terrible! I have government holidays off and I sometimes take my kids to daycare for the whole day so that I can run errands, clean the house, etc. (I always tell myself I’m going to go to a movie or shop for myself but inevitably, it turns into chores for the family. But that’s a different story!) Take the Friday afternoon and enjoy being excited to pick up your kiddo because you’ve had time to yourself!

    • lawsuited says

      Of COURSE I do this! And not just to do virtuous stuff like working out and grocery shopping! I leave work at 4pm and get a mani/pedi before picking my kids up at 5:30. I drop my kids off early and then go back home to eat breakfast and get ready for work in peace.

      • AwayEmily says

        YES to this. My favorite feeling in the world is coming back post-daycare, making myself a leisurely breakfast while listening to a podcast, and then getting dressed in peace. And STILL GETTING TO WORK BEFORE 9, because I am ten thousand times more efficient without children literally hanging onto my leg.

    • Anonymous says

      Chiming that nope, you’re not terrible. We do this all the time when we’re off work for federal holidays and daycare is still open and our kids’ teachers congratulate us on tacking advantage of the kid-free time, so they’re clearly not judging either.

    • Anonymous says

      There’s nothing wrong with this it’s like using a babysitter. And your kid doesn’t know any different. Enjoy it!

    • AnotherAnon says

      Heck yes I do this. When I worked 9/80s, kiddo went to day care on my Friday off. It was as much to maintain his routine as to give me a break. I mostly worked out, napped and went grocery shopping, but sometimes I did fun stuff too. Oh how I miss those days.

    • CCLA says

      I do this all the time. DH also does it all the time. Our kids are in daycare ~8-5 most days, regardless of whether DH and I are working those hours. DH and I grab coffee/breakfast/lunch/drink probably once a week during the day when work is slow and the kids are at daycare, it’s a great date opportunity and great self care opportunity. Go forth and enjoy!

    • So Anon says

      I think this is awesome! My kids are a bit older (6&9) so I have a babysitter, but she stays until 7pm two nights per week. I use that time however I see fit. Yes, there are days that I work late or get in work-out, but there are also days where I aimlessly wander the aisles of TJ’s, Whole Foods or Target. Zero guilt about using any resource you can to take care of yourself!

    • Anonanonanon says

      Not at all! My kids are at daycare right now and I just finished prepping dinner (all I have to do now is stick it in the oven when we get home) and doing some cleaning before I go pick them up. I came straight home from the office to do those things first. No reason to rush and pick them up when I know they’re having more fun there than they would be watching me clean!
      My husband dropped them off at 7 this morning then came home to shower/get ready for a meeting. I left work at 3 and came home to do other things and will get them before 5. No guilt.

    • Anonymous says

      Totally did this! Early drop off was an extra $5 a day for an hour. I would use that time to go to the gym near my work. And Id squeeze in errands or grocery shopping between the subway and daycare. I have a lot less time for myself now that she’s in PreK.

  13. cbackson says

    Can anyone suggest good online prenatal yoga videos? The only local place that offers prenatal yoga just canceled my class for lack of demand and all the other local yoga studios seem to focus on hot yoga which my OB said to avoid.

  14. anon says

    We are hosting a super bowl party for a bunch of kids, and I’d like to make individual pizzas. Any ideas for the crust? I was mulling over bagels, pita, english muffins, pillsbury biscuits…any recommendations?

    • Anonymous says

      naan! better than all of the above. Our grocery store has little mini naan right near the deli. Slather with pizza sauce and toppings of choice.

      • Emily S. says

        +1! We make naan circle pizzas all the time. I toast them first so the bread is warm and then bake or broil in the oven for a few minutes.

  15. lsw says

    I just started running again (my son is 3.5 years old) and … wow, I guess I have terrible stress urinary incontinence. I already have a rec for PT from my PCP (conveniently I happened to have a visit with her the day after it … reached a breaking point, so to say). Should I stop running in the meantime? I don’t want to make it worse, but I want to keep up my momentum of actually exercising and enjoying it. I was curious if anyone had any experience with this. Yesterday’s run was probably one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life.

    • CCLA says

      I experienced that in the more near term post-partum phase, so different timing, but I vividly recall that first run and stopping mid-run to check in on wtf had just happened. I just ran through it for the next week or so and used a pad. It took care of itself after about a week of running every day. I have no idea if that is the right answer, but fwiw for me it went away – almost felt like my body was relearning how to use the muscles to run. I would not have hesitated to see a PT though if it didn’t resolve as quickly as it did.

    • Anonymous says

      Yes. Stop running! I’ve done pelvic floor PT and she was clear that I should not run until I reached a certain level of strength. Try yoga or fast paced walking but avoid ab exercises and anything that involves jumping. Make sure you get a PT who has a specialization in pelvic floor issues (preferably a post-grad diploma) and who does an internal exam.

        • Anonymous says

          If it makes you feel better, I didn’t get around to addressing PF issues until my kids were preschoolers because I just didn’t have the energy to work out until then.

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