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We received this set as a gift for my son’s second birthday, and it’s still one of the most useful parts of his play area. We have a lighter wood and white version, but on Amazon, I can only find this pink set.
The best part is the storage net in the center, which is great for just sweeping in random crayons or arts & crafts supplies for a quick cleanup.
It is also super sturdy — I have sat in the chairs many times and they’re still going strong. It’s not that comfortable for an adult to sit on, but it holds me easily. I also like the small size — it is truly built for a toddler/preschooler.
The set is $64.23 at Amazon and eligible for Prime. Wooden Round Table & 2-Chair Set
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Boston Legal Eagle says
I don’t look at the main page much anymore but there was a thread yesterday about something unrelated to parenting that of course then had comments (from anons) about how we parents made the choice to have kids and so of course it’s all up to us to do everything for them. I’ve seen this sentiment on Ask a Manager too. It just reminds me that even if we implement policies designed to help working parents, there will still be this individualism and sentiment that somehow parents are getting an upper hand (i.e. “why should I pay for them?”). This individualism seems to get in the way of preventing any sort of major changes in the U.S. and I’m at a bit of loss about how to change this culture. You can see it in the mask wearing debates as well, and here we are, where schools aren’t allowed to open and parents are left on their own again. When did we lose our sense of collectivism and community (did we ever have it?)
Anonymous says
No there wasn’t. There was a really nasty comment about people without kids daring to try and save there vacation up and a lot of silly and unnecessary bickering wherein some people pretended other people said that parents deserve more vacation time than childless coworkers which is obviously false.
Anonymous says
That thread absolutely existed. It included comments to the effect of “It’s unfair that I have to pay taxes for other people’s kids to go to school.” The main page, like most workplaces, is an anti-parent cesspool. Meanwhile, the non-parents in my workplace get more accommodations for their hobbies than parents do for their kids.
Marshmallow says
I saw that comment and the whole dang mess. I didn’t quite get what the OP was trying to say about PTO, but the “taxes” comment was ridiculous. Everyone’s taxes pay for all kinds of things we don’t personally use, but we need for the greater good. That’s kind of the exact point of taxes. I don’t own a car. Should I start complaining that people who chose to live far away from public transportation should pay for their own pothole repair because they “chose that lifestyle”? No, because I understand well-maintained roads, just like a well-educated populace, are good for society.
Anon says
And I feel like everyone missed the point that they don’t limit PTO because they’re afraid everyone will try to take a vacation at once, they’re afraid they’re going to have to pay it out!
Anonymous says
+1 I work in finance for an organization and that’s completely accurate
Anonymous says
+2 this is why “unlimited” PTO policies are so popular.
anon says
I saw that too and rolled my eyes. I see this a lot at my law firm. We have a number of partners who never had kids and this sentiment comes out explicitly in our benefits discussions lately (let’s cut family coverage and bemoan high risk kids like mine who are on our plan!) and less clearly in our mid year reviews where those without kids were praised for coming to the office every day (when stay at home orders were in effect) while those who were stuck at home with kids were questioned about their commitment this year. It’s one thing to say having kids is a choice but it’s another issue when people say it in the context of a pandemic. Like, making that choice involved assumptions of there not being a one in a lifetime pandemic without access to reliable childcare. The hostility is exhausting.
Anon says
Yes, there was a thread about it – I was the obnoxious poster who was fighting the ‘kids are a choice’ crowd. My tone was kinda mean, and I regret that. But that argument is so triggering to me – because it disproportionately impacts working mothers, and do you really want to live in a world where mothers are not at the table when important decisions are being made? I don’t. And also — having kids is a strong biological impulse for many of us. Have s#x is a choice too – but do you really think it would be easy for all of us to abstain? It’s kind of embedded in the average human experience.
Here’s the thing – I absolutely believe the my co-workers without children deserve every bit of respect for their time and choices as working parents. I have covered for co-workers who have health issues, had plastic surgery, wanted an extra long honeymoon or just wanted to take the afternoon off to see a baseball game. All of us are fighting each other in this capitalist rat race, when in reality we all deserve to live full lives and still put food on the table.
But also believe that parents need a little extra help and should get it. I’m out of the woods now, but yeah I needed some extra accommodations to keep my career going when I had young kids. Thanks GOD I wasn’t surrounded by a bunch of co-workers who counted each minute or each favor. I think it helped that I covered for folks before I had kids, so they knew I would have done the same for them.
Sometimes I will get more than my co-worker, sometimes I will get less. It’s doesn’t matter as long as everybody gets what they need.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, it’s a biological drive for lots and also, these kids who are so needy and “useless” (in a capitalist sense) now are going to grow up and be productive members of society, ideally. So helping these kids by helping the parents now is supposed to pay off for everyone in the end. It’s a short-sighted view to not value the littlest humans now. I know you all know this and I know this isn’t an economics or culture forum, it just really gets me angry when I see that from posters who are supposedly liberal and progressive. But I think it’s a reflection of the society we’re raised in, which makes me worry that all the policies in the world won’t help.
Anonymous says
I agree with you.
I’m also not totally willing to concede that kids are always a choice, as everyone seemed to do on that thread. Anyone with any understanding of how consent , s€x Ed, society generally and women’s rights in particular work, at least in the US, can probably understand that I’m not comfortable saying every mother totally choose this path. That’s obviously true for fathers too.
Anonymous says
Yes, but the people saying that kids are a choice will also tell you that it was the $lutty woman’s choice to put herself in a situation where she might get knocked up without consent. You can’t win that argument.
Anonymous says
Yeah I bet she was wearing leggings. I don’t see how someone like that deserves an equitable amount of vacation time!!!1!
(SARCASM!!)
Anon at 10:33 says
Oh, I don’t disagree with you. I just think it’s worth pointing out.
FVNC says
For all its faults, I’m so glad that the majority of employees, including executives, at my company are parents. That thread on the main page reminded me of the NYT article about the internal battles among parents and non-parents at the large tech companies. It’s really frustrating that some non-parents can’t recognize that this pandemic has rendered all backup care safety nets for working parents basically useless. And yes, this particular situation sometimes requires extra benefits for parents who have no break, no downtime, ever.
Pogo says
My boss isn’t a parent, but he has a life and uses vacation and flex time and works out at lunch every day. The problem goes beyond children and into the whole work life balance – as pointed out above, even non parents have hobbies and things they need to do outside of work that need accommodation sometimes. We’re not robots. Clearly some individuals (mostly men with or without children whose wives handle everything outside of work for them) do operate like robots and work 15 hours a day and never take time off, but that should not be the goal.
FVNC says
100% agree. When I moved in-house from biglaw pre-kids, I decided work was not going to take over my life — otherwise, there would have been no point in leaving biglaw. Maybe because of that, I’ve never been a top performer, but always get solid, positive reviews…and I’m totally okay with that.
Anon says
I am forever grateful for my unicorn biglaw job where every single partner I work with has children. We all cover for each other when kids are sick, have activities that we want to be part of, etc., as well as for our childless colleagues who have doctor’s appointments, social commitments, etc. The importance of that supportive environment cannot be overstated.
GCA says
Here’s the NYT article FVNC referenced – I was so struck by it too: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/05/technology/parents-time-off-backlash.html
It’s kind of an absurd, artificial binary. The problem is not parents vs non-parents. The problem is an entire economy that pressures people to be always-on. The problem is a culture that fails to recognize the value of care, whether for children or senior citizens or people with disabilities. The problem is a society so f*cked up that it has framed parenting as the only ‘legitimate’ reason to need time out or a slower pace while systematically eroding most support for parents, forcing employers to bear the responsibility for supporting them.
Anon says
I think people who are privileged and accomplished, like many women on the site, can become very individualistic and forget what it feels like to truly need help and support and accommodations just to be able to get by in life. Basically, they become (or already are) self-centered without realizing it.
Anonymous says
They also forget that their privilege and accomplishments are facilitated and subsidized by others through a rigged system.
Pogo says
This is an extremely valid point.
Anonymous says
I work with HR stuff, and we get lots of complaints about offering benefits for parents, but almost none for our added benefits for retirees (we are very generous!). Not everyone gets those, either, but I guess because maybe they could access them, they like it.
Good looking cooking says
Does anyone here have a Thermomix? (A cooking device that chops and stirs and cooks automatically)
A friend from Europe recommended it and it seems to be a lot more popular over there.
It looks super useful but is $$$
Anon says
I’ve never heard of it but now I kind of want one.
Anon says
I know two people with them and they both rave about them. They were both excellent cooks before they got them but apparently they do save a lot of time. It’s worth remembering that it only chops like a blender would, so for many recipes you may need to chop some components by hand anyway if you want larger chunks. Great for making peanut butter.
Anon says
Ok, somewhat awkward question. My almost 5 yo daughter has discovered self pleasure. Totally normal of course, but the issue is that she likes to indulge while she’s watching videos–typically this happens in our living room, and usually while my husband and I are otherwise occupied—working, dealing with the baby, making dinner, etc. When we first noticed her doing this, I told her there was nothing wrong with it, everyone does it, but that it’s something that people do in private. I told her that if she wanted to do it, she could do it in her room. She seemed a little embarrassed but said ok and stopped. Of course, every time she’s left alone for more than 10 min or so, she’s back at it. We’ve had this talk several times but she keeps doing it. I’m torn between not wanting to make her feel like she’s doing anything wrong and not wanting her to keep doing it in front of the rest of the family. I certainly don’t want to punish her for continuing to do it, but I also want her to understand that there are some things we keep private and that’s one of them. Any ideas on how to handle this? This was not a topic that was discussed at all when I was growing up, and I really don’t want her to be as clueless about her body and sexuality as I was. I want her to grow up with a healthy and positive feeling about it, so I want to make sure that I handle this in a positive way.
anon says
I think you’re doing the right thing already! It may take some reinforcement — one of my friend’s daughters went through this stage around your daughter’s age. She eventually learned to keep it private, but it took awhile to get there.
Anonymous says
You’re fine. Just be consistent around the point that touching private is for a private space like a bedroom. No touching privates in the living room is a reasonable rule. Like everything with small kids, you have to remind them 17K times.
Anonymous says
Yes. Same message, same number of reminders here.
Anonforthis says
No advice, but I just want to commend to you for handling this in such a positive way. I distinctly remember discovering that as a young child (not quite as young as your daughter) and sexuality was never a topic in my household so I was pretty confused. It wasn’t condemned, but I wasn’t informed either and so I just stumbled through things for a very long time until I realized the power of the internet.
ElisaR says
i envy young people that had access to internet….. i was just clueless in the 80s
Mary Moo Cow says
The author of “Beyond the Birds and the Bees” had the same situation and handled it the same you are (she discusses it in the opening chapter of the book)!
OP says
thanks everyone for your affirmations and comments! Its good to remember that in kid-world, nothing sticks until you’ve heard it 17 thousand times! :)
Cb says
Talk me through the house staging process with a kid? Our cheeky early offer wasn’t accepted so we’re going to put our house on the market in hopes there is an offer by the time the owners set a closing date (our flat should go quicker than their house). Due to the pandemic, all homes are shown by the owner rather than the estate agent, so I was thinking we could show it on the two days a week my son is at nursery and one day on the weekend, and send my husband and son out of the house?
How much do I actually need to do? Not a trendy neighbourhood but a market where 2 beds are rare, and things are going quickly, at 15%-20% over home value. I was thinking a deep clean, clean the windows, clear surfaces, taking a magic eraser to the scooter scuffs on the walls. We repainted 2 years ago, floors are great, everything is up to date. We do have a slightly odd configuration which involves a washer + dryer in a bedroom, but it is what it is.
And the Scottish home buying process is bananas. Basically anyone can pull out until the money is transferred on the day…
Marshmallow says
Your plan sounds good. A family member who is a home stager here on the east coast of the US also always removes family photos (except potentially one or two professional-looking ones), everything off the fridge, bulletin boards, etc. Basically, think about removing visual and vertical clutter in addition to clearing flat surfaces. If you have any art that is really “taste specific” (nudes, extremely bright colors, clowns a la The Good Place?) maybe take it down or temporarily replace it with something more neutral.
Anonymous says
In the US there is a lot of guidance to declutter as much as possible. In the past, we’ve started boxing up non-essentials and stored them (in the basement when we were moving from a house and in a storage space when we were in an apartment).
Anonymous says
Your home should feel spacious. Which I know it isn’t! So box up and put into storage: Knick knacks, family photos, out of season clothes, anything in your kitchen that isn’t put away (srsly- I will give you a toaster, kettle, and soap and that is absolutely it), half kid’s toys, half your books etc.
Cb says
Argh, no storage available! All the toys fit into one closed cupboard, all books are neatly contained within bookshelves (just organised them by colour and it makes it look so much neater),, our non-kitchen surfaces are fairly clear, so that sounds alright. I have the neighbour’s keys though and could probably throw all the kitchen stuff into a crate and stash it at hers? Maybe put shoes, coats, helmets, in the car boot?
We have the play table in the sitting room, should I move it into kiddo’s room so the sitting room shows no kid evidence?
Anonymous says
Rent a storage unit.
Anne says
I would figure out as many bins as you can fit in your car (front seat, back seat and trunk) and have them filled and ready to put in when you’re showing to declutter. Also – pre-moving is a great time to get rid of stuff anyway – any toys no longer played with? tupperwear you’d replace instead of pack anyway? Work shoes and clothes that were on their last leg and you’re not using them anyway?
Mary Moo Cow says
Young House Love has some great blog posts and podcasts about staging. I think you’re on the right track: clean, clean, clean; get 25% of your stuff out; call it a day. Our neighbors had great luck with 2 days of showings and then reviewing offers on the following Monday. Good luck!
Anon says
Agree with boxing things up and putting them in storage. Makes a big difference in how a property shows.
So Anon says
I’ve been through this twice with kids (once my son was 18 months and last year as a single parent with a 5 and 7 year old). I agree with the advice to declutter as much as possible – anything smaller than a cantaloupe. Box up as much as you can, and consider it the first stage of moving. For things that must stay, I found it really helpful to have a place to stash toys at the last minute (storage built into furniture or a trunk side-table). I also threw old sheets over the furniture until right before the showing to keep things clean.
Anon says
Are open houses a thing over there? If it’s a hot market, you may be able to have open houses one weekend and sell it immediately (aka get your flat pristine once, instead of multiple days a week). That’s how we bought our current house – listed on a Friday and we made an offer Sunday.
Cb says
They aren’t running because of the pandemic, but I thought we might just ask our estate agent to allow viewings to be booked anytime on Saturday and Sunday the first weekend and see what happens. Even if I have to mask up and show a bunch of people around, that seems less stressful.
Marshmallow says
I thought of this when another poster mentioned childless colleagues’ hobbies getting more accommodation than parents’ obligations to their kids. Is anyone else a little exhausted by every icebreaker at a networking event being “what are your hobbies” or “what do you do outside work”? I understand the good intent of these questions but to be honest, I’m a biglaw lawyer and mom of a toddler. My hobbies are sleeping enough and trying to work out three times a week. Add the pandemic on top of it and who has hobbies anymore? The last time I was asked this on a client conference, I talked about my pro bono work which I truly am passionate about, but that’s still “work.”
I’ve been thinking about trying to get more purposeful with my minimal downtime partially just so I have something to talk about at client and alumni events. Has anyone enjoyed a low-key “hobby” that tolerates sporadic neglect? Working through a particular book list, baking, something crafty?
Anonymous says
When I was on maternity leave I went to a networking lunch. It was the end of the year lunch for a group that I used to be more involved with, and a lot of big names were coming to a lunch of 10-15 of us. It was nearly the end of my leave, so it seemed like a good opportunity to leave baby with DH for a while and for me to get to have some adult interaction. One of the people (a 60ish year old man) asked me what my hobbies are. I very honestly told him that I don’t remember anymore. He looked at me like I was bananas. So I at least pretend I have hobbies now…
PS, in your situation, I’d say that working out is a hobby that you can discuss.
Anonanonanon says
Don’t feel guilty or force yourself to do more (you already do so much!) just so you have something to talk about. I wish we would normalize just… vegging out to TV.
You could lie and say baking or cooking, those options don’t have too many follow-up questions that will get you caught if you’re lying lol. You could try to bake or cook your way through a specific book?
Cross stitching is easy and fine to neglect.
I wish I had fewer “domestic” suggestions, but if you say books or movies etc. there is too much of a risk of follow-on questions.
“exercising” is a good vague answer.
Marshmallow says
Ha– I do actually love both baking and cooking, but especially as I am in a male-dominated practice area, I don’t want to say those things. I know, I know.
Anonanonanon says
No I agree, that’s why I hate that those were most of my examples! I think “exercising” is fine.
Anonymous says
They are not genuinely terribly interested in your hobbies, it’s just small talk. In these situations my standard answer is that I enjoy yoga and hiking (I hike maybe once a month and just do a weekly yoga class) Then ask them about theirs. People are always happy to talk about themselves.
Anonymous says
My kids are 2/4/6 and we do hobbies “together.”
Between DH and I, our hobbies are (actual) gardening, wine, coaching youth sports, flying drones, hiking, boating, home reno projects, etc.
We almost never do activities solo. But we do things :-).
Pogo says
Same – I’d say (actual) gardening – both decorative and edible, home improvement/DIY, hiking, traveling, yoga, running, wine & beer. Other than yoga these are all things I do with husband and/or kiddos. Including visiting breweries and vineyards! In the Before Times, of course.
For networking, reading or podcasts is a good hobby to say because you can talk about what you’ve read/listened to lately. Similarly traveling is a good one because easy to talk about where you’ve been most recently (again, in the ol days – not so much now!)
Anonymous says
I lol’d at myself after reading your reference to travel. I listed hiking and yoga in a post above but I love travel and apparently I’ve totally forgotten about Before Times! We usually do one big international trip every year even with kids so travel has been a big part of our life for a long time but it apparently only took me 6 months to forget about that!
Realist says
I laughed at “actual gardening.” I like the idea of being asked my hobbies and just saying. “Gardening. I would be gardening with my DH every day if I could find the time.” With no one the wiser as to what I was actually saying.
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t pick up a hobby just so you can talk about it at work. That’s not a hobby, that’s just more work! All of my actual hobbies are not impressive, sound odd, and/or reveal too much about me to mention in a professional setting (e.g., church choir, ballet, sewing). I usually just talk about cooking, working out, and my dog, because those are relatable and an easy way to find common interests. You can talk about your latest favorite on-line workout, new recipes you’ve tried, uses for sourdough discard, etc.
anon says
I had a big realization in this vein when I moved in house. At my welcome lunch my first day, all of the attorneys were discussing their favorite current TV shows and movies. I never ever had a similar conversation in Biglaw. No one had the time. Personally I hadn’t watched a movie in 3 years at that point.
As a 1L, I once asked a very, very senior partner about his hobbies at a networking event. He told me he “read briefs” for fun. I think this is why Biglaw lunches become incessant discussions of war stories, exercise routines and diets. It’s all anyone has time to do outside of work.
You’re totally normal. If you want a hobby, that’s great, but don’t add it to your must do list if you’re happy with your life.
Mary Moo Cow says
My only hobbies are baking and reading. I guess I could throw in exercise, but that feels like an obligation/condition of life, not like a fun hobby.
I, too, have tried to be more purposeful with my limited downtime, but it never lasts long. Sigh. One of my longterm/long standing goals is to be a better photographer, so I paid for the Shoot Along course and have minimally investigated taking a photography class with the local library or county.
So, no real advice, just commiseration.
Spirograph says
Depending on the event, I wouldn’t hesitate to say that my hobby is pandemic parenting and trying to get enough sleep. But since you asked, my real pandemic-friendly hobby is music. I’m very much missing my ensemble music groups, but at least I can work on solo pieces at home. I don’t find that to be a good ice-breaker, though, unless I hit upon another musician.
My mental list of small talk items: books, podcasts, successfully-executed dessert recipes, my now-neglected garden, post-pandemic vacation planning, parks/bike or hiking trails we’ve recently discovered.
anon for this says
If you don’t mind sharing, can you talk more about pursuing music recreationally as an adult? I earned an undergrad degree in performance and then promptly “retired” to pursue grad school and gainful employment in another field. I have sort of picked up my instrument again in quarantine after many, many years of neglect. I have no idea where to go with it, though. I could probably spend a year or so getting back into reasonably decent amateur shape, but what then? It seems pointless to practice with no performance goal. I play(ed) an extremely competitive instrument. All of the local community orchestra seats are filled by professionals from the local symphony orchestra. I don’t know how to go about finding chamber ensembles of well-trained non-professionals, and nobody wants to hear a solo recital by a middle-aged amateur.
Pre-covid I had joined a choir, but even though I’m not a trained vocalist it was very frustrating to rehearse and perform with them because they just didn’t take it seriously and half of them could barely read music.
Marshmallow says
Yes, let’s talk about this! I was, in my pre-Biglaw life, actually a serious violin player including college study and performance. My violin makes me feel guilty because it’s been just sitting there for years, but I kind of don’t know how to pursue that as an enjoyable hobby. In high school and college I was an orchestra leader so there was always an element of “work” to it– I was helping others, practicing for a performance, whatever. I also don’t really know how to enjoy playing the instrument just solo, for fun. And now I’m so rusty I feel like I would just be frustrated with myself.
anon at 11:06 says
So I don’t know that it’s really possible to play an orchestral instrument alone, just for fun. Piano, yes. Guitar, absolutely. Maybe fiddle music on violin? But a string or wind instrument is designed to be played in an ensemble, and even the solo repertoire mostly requires accompaniment. It can be satisfying to play etudes and Bach sonatas and partitas without the accompaniment, but that’s not enough to make all the necessary tone and technique exercises worthwhile. Practicing is hard work, and the payoff is in ensemble rehearsals and performances. I was born to perform music. Without the chance to perform, it seems kind of pointless.
Spirograph, your music school sounds amazing. Where we used to live, there was a major conservatory with a continuing education program for adults. Unfortunately, nothing like that exists where we live now. I think my best bet is to start taking virtual lessons now and hope that the teacher can help me make connections in the local music community once it’s safe to play wind instruments in public again. I have identified a compatible teacher at the right level, but I don’t know whether she has openings at the moment.
Spirograph says
My people! I played other instruments in school and I’ve done church and community choirs as life allows, but my only serious instrument anymore is piano. I take lessons through a music school that has a pretty robust adult program with formal recitals several times a year (piano teachers are recruited to accompany as needed). In non-pandemic times they also have a lecture series, guest artists, low-key performance meet-ups (eg, play what you’re working on + wine and snacks) and various larger ensembles. They connected me on request with other people at a similar level and interested in chamber music, and we played a couple time a month and participated in the annual chamber music workshop hosted by the school. Through the workshops and other events, I met others interested in collaborating on one-off pieces, and we played those at the adult recitals. I’m always really up front that I’m doing this for fun in between a full time job and kids, and the pace I learn things is going to reflect that, but it’s been no problem to connect with people on the same wavelength.
I’ve taken lessons from independent teachers as an adult, and from a making-progress-on-repertoire standpoint that’s fine, but the infrastructure and organization behind the school is a game-changer. Proficiency really runs the gamut: I am a well-trained non-professional and there are at least a dozen pianists around my level who I see regularly at the events. There are also plenty of adult beginners in the mix, and everything in between, including a lot of retirees who have gone back to an instrument they played in school.
You will definitely feel rusty and frustrated when you start back into it, but it shakes off faster than you think, and it’s so, so fun and rewarding. I know my school is still doing virtual lessons, and we had a couple virtual recitals back in June, plus some informal zoom meetups, so it’s worth checking around for what’s in your area!
Cb says
It’s so weird, isn’t it? I realised I had a reputation for being artsy and creative and I couldn’t figure it out. Finally I realised it’s because I read a lot and occasionally go to an exhibition.
That said, I think reading is the most low-key one. Read “the” book of the season and you can talk about it for a few months. YMMV There was an academic summer reading thing I got tagged into on twitter and I replied with my top 3 novels of the summer and was a bit embarrassed when everyone replied with biographies of statesmen and histories of the Russian civil war.
GCA says
I am *not* an academic precisely because I enjoy literary fiction, science writing and histories too much to ever want to study them ;)
I’d say reading is one of my main hobbies (nearly everyone can talk about things they’ve read, and I can have a conversation about nearly any reading material), cooking is another (everyone needs to eat, most people enjoy new and interesting foods), running is a third (many people have workouts they enjoy).
Anon says
For me it’s cooking and baking, which are things I do regularly to feed my family, but also things I am good at and enjoy. I have a couple of cooking blogs I peruse while I eat lunch. I also have a hobby of gardening, but freely admit I am terrible at it, which typically includes sympathetic responses without many further asks. Winetasting is another one – we have a lot of wineries in our area so if I go to a couple a year for a weekend picnic, it’s easy to talk about the 1 or 2 I’ve been to recently and liked. Otherwise I make a joke about how I have a very active toddler, so I don’t have a lot of time for hobbies other than her.
GCA says
Ha, a colleague asked on a team call ‘What’s something exciting that happened in your life recently?’ and I honestly fumbled for an answer. (“We went apple picking last weekend and now I have too many apples. Give me your best recipes.”)
If you’re looking for a low-key something to enjoy that tolerates neglect, avoid the ‘use it or lose it’ ones – intensive language learning, training for a triathlon…! I like things I can pick up now and again when the mood strikes, like watercolors.
2 Cents says
Since having my toddler, I feel the same way. I didn’t have a lot of hobbies before, but now I’m grateful if I get to read a chapter of a non-kids’ book before collapsing.
Anon says
So I actually ask this question when I am interviewing students for my law school or associates at my firm. It normally is some variation of “What do you do for fun?” I’m really just trying to see if someone is able to make small talk. Talking about kids or the wedding they are planning is a totally normal answer. Sometimes we talk about some tv show on Netflix or a book they read or a vacation they went on. Very rarely does the person actually have a true “hobby.” I’m in a small firm in a mid-size city.
EB says
In this vein, I often reply something like “Well, these days it is trying to make sure my toddler doesn’t climb onto the kitchen counter, but back when I had more time, I was big into ___.”
Anon says
I don’t think any parents have hobbies in the pandemic. And even if you’re not a parent, you may have a hobby that’s no longer safe to do. So I think people will understand pretty much any answer given the current situation.
In non-pandemic times, I would usually say traveling, reading or baking which are not really “hobbies” but are the truthful answers about what I do in my non-work, non-parenting time. But be prepared for the follow-ups like”what’s your favorite book/place/recipe?” In my interview for my current job I totally blanked when my boss asked me my favorite book and the only thing I could think of was Harry Potter. I read 50+ books per year and all I could think about on the spot was a children’s book I last read a decade ago! I got the job but my boss teased me about it for years.
SC says
I also read 50+ books per year, and I would have a difficult time naming my favorite book on the spot. And while it’s a perfectly normal follow-up question to someone saying they read for fun, the possible answers seem really loaded and personal–like asking me to pick my favorite child.
Anon says
What kind of lunches do you all pack for a toddler? I feel like I’m pretty boring – pb&j, yogurt, fruit, and some type of healthy muffin are about the extent of my repertoire.
Anonymous says
If she eats the food and doesn’t complain, I’d carry on with what you are sending. No need to complicate matters merely for the sake of variety.
Anonymous says
If your kiddo likes it, then keep on! Other ideas based on what my toddler has liked: wraps (tortilla + hummus/ cream cheese + meat or cheese), apple dipped in peanut butter, mini naan and shredded carrots dipped in hummus, tortellini (usually leftovers from night before) with italian dressing, crackers and meat/cheese, pita bread with sandwich fillings.
By “has liked,” I mean she has expressed that she enjoyed eating each of these at one time or another. But she is not some unicorn toddler who would eat any of these on any given day :)
Pogo says
I pack the Bentgo as follows: fruit, carb, veggies, protein, treat. The carb goes in the biggest compartment and is either a sandwich, pasta or rainforest crackers. The protein is either plain chicken, sausage, or cheese stick. The veggie is broccoli, peas, cherry tomatoes or corn. The treat is dried fruit (craisins, prunes) and the actual fruit is the only thing I really vary because he will eat any fruit. But otherwise that is the entire repertoire.
Anonymous says
What are rainforest crackers?
FVNC says
My kids are very into homemade lunchables lately, by which I mean, crackers, cheese and turkey or salami slices with grapes. But when I call them lunchables, they somehow seem more exciting!
Anonymous says
This week we did a half bagel with blueberry cream cheese as the main/carb. It went over well. Kiddo also really likes things that are served in a tortialla. So ham and cheese pinweels or wraps. Or sometimes just some tortilla wedges as the carb.
Anon says
My baby niece caught Covid at her small, in-home daycare in a Northeast state with few cases and strict rules. (And yes it is believed other kids spread it.) There is truly no safe place, ugh…
Anonymous says
Oh no! How is she doing??
Anon says
She is doing fine, thank goodness. Hoping it stays that way, and for my sister and BIL, too! I’m just a little rattled because we were planning to see them this weekend, and it’s making me realize you can never be sure no matter how safe you think you are (and I’m pregnant and worried in general :) If the test results hadn’t come back when they did for another girl at the daycare, they never would have thought to test my niece.
Anonymous says
I work at a community college and am part of our risk management team, so I see lots of incidents. The circumstances are crazy and the randomness of it is always surprising. Like the person who spent two days in a house with a COVID+ individual didn’t get it and someone who is super cautious and sees almost no one, except outside, gets it. Sometimes the randomness brings me comfort and sometimes it is terrifying.
Anonymous says
It appears so random because it’s thought that up to 30-40% of people have some natural underlying immunity, likely due to recent infection with a more benign coronavirus. There are some people that just won’t get it no matter how much they’re exposed.
Anon says
I think a lot of people lie, even to doctors and contact tracers. The people who say “I didn’t go anywhere except the grocery store” may not be telling you the whole truth, especially if they’re college students with a real interest in protecting their friends and not getting in trouble for partying. I have a family member who works in an ICU and she believes virtually nobody gets it from casual contact like the grocery store. She said she often hears “I’ve been so cautious, I haven’t left my house in 6 months!” but then on further prodding it often turns out that they went to a small party where no one wore masks and it turns out another party attendee is positive, or something like that.
Anon says
I had an early outdoor meeting with a client today (my first in person work event since March), and my sleepy 3YO looked up and said “mama go work?” and I said yes and she said “no stay house”. Usually she says “no stay bed” when she thinks I am just going downstairs to work, so apparently even three year olds know that despite 6 months having passed since I was in the office, when mama puts on a dress and jacket and does her hair, it must mean mama is leaving the house to work.
Anonymous says
I think our 4YO remembers that we went to work. My 2YO does not (I don’t think. We’re not going back for a long time, so TBD).
Anon says
I straight up lie and tell my 2 year old I’m “going to work” because she hates the idea of us being home without her, and it’s true that we are working while she’s at school. However I dressed casually for work before this, so she doesn’t notice my clothes.
Anonymous says
I don’t think that’s lying. You are going to work. You just aren’t going to the office.
Anonanonanon says
Has anyone in the greater DC area been anywhere recently that wasn’t horrifically crowded and you felt like people respected social distancing?
Would love to take the kids apple picking or something, but don’t want to have to leave if it’s crowded or people are getting way too close unmasked.
Anon says
I heard that 8 chains north winery is permitting kids and has a reservation system and that it is really well done, but I have not been personally. A nice fall picnic at a winery sounds like a treat to me (obviously not as fun as apple picking). Maybe if I get (yet another) negative pregnancy test next week, that will be my treat.
Anne says
Every hiking trail I’ve been on has been great – people give you a lot of space. Maybe find an easy trail with the kids?
DLC says
The agricultural Farm Park in Montgomery County was a nice outing and spacious. A few animals, some barns to walk around, a nice demonstration Garden and a big wide field. My 8 year old was a little bored, but the three year old had a good time. Next time we go, I’m bringing a kite.
We went hiking at Patapsco on a Thursday afternoon and I was pretty uncomfortable with the behavior of fellow hikers.
Anonymous says
We went strawberry picking at Larriland Farms and it was fine everyone was masked and each family had their own row to pick. Most PYO places in the area are trying very hard to follow guidelines so they don’t get shut down. Definitely look for wineries a lot are doing reservations. We’ve been hiking throughout all of COVID and thats been great.
anon says
Butler’s Farm has been doing really good with distanced PYO. Not sure if they do apples, though.
anon says
My three year old has turned to hitting and destroying things when he is upset and I need tips on how to handle the situation in the heat of the moment. Three year old will try to play with six year old. If she politely refuses, three year old will grab whatever he can from her and toss it or destroy her precious lego creations. She cries, he fights, and everyone is sad. I usually pull three year old aside and talk to him about his feelings, what to do when you are angry, and how we do not hit or destroy. He usually calms down, apologizes, shows remorse, and says he wont do it again…but of course it happens again, sometimes moments later. We have also tried consequences like, he will lose his favorite toy if he does something hurtful, but nothing works in the moment. Any tips on how to better handle this or is it something that we just have to live through while he is three?
Anonymous says
Is there a place where the older one can play that’s not accessible to the younger one? If not, can an adult supervise and remove 3 y/o immediately before he has the chance to attack?
Anonymous says
We tried approaches you mentioned and more Janet Lansbury approach. Eventually only thing that helped at all for hitting/throwing/destroying was immediate and very very lengthy time outs. I understand there is literature condemning this approach but seriously we had tried all other approaches.
Anonymous says
We do time outs for this kind of behavior. 1 minute per year of age. The line we use is ‘if you can’t play nicely, you have to take a break from playing’. We also remind that if they do not play kindly, people will not want to play with them.
Redux says
My parents are celebrating a milestone 50 years of marriage this year! They are two plane rides away and my dad is severely immunocompromised, so we are not planning to visit. Any ideas on how to make the day special?
Anonymous says
We were just on a zoom call with an aunt and uncle that reached that milestone. The kids asked everyone to send in pictures, and they put together a slide show of the parents through the years. They played that at the beginning of the call, then they gave a little speech, then the parents spoke, then they opened it up to everyone else to share memories. It was a little unwieldy (as big zooms usually are), but the parents and a lot of the relatives on the call seemed very touched. Everyone had a drink to toast with, which was fun.
Anonymous says
That is very cool.
Anon says
If you have local family friends or know their neighbors, see if they can organize or coordinate a drive-by car parade? See if you can get a food basket delivered (with stable food they can let decontaminate for a day or two)? If they are doing take-out, arrange dinner delivery for them, preferably with a nice bottle of champagne assuming they drink?
Anon says
I went to a 50th anniversary zoom call for my aunt and uncle. Like another poster said, big family zoom calls are crazy.
But my other aunt (who, admittedly is VERY extra) sent everyone an invitation with some chocolates, a plastic champagne flute, a tiny bottle of champagne, chocolates and confetti and we used it on the call. It was really nice.
Mrs. Jones says
As far as gifts go, maybe a photo book with photos through the years? Champagne glasses?
Anonymous says
Has anyone who has kids doing the hybrid model for young elem started school yet?
We start 1st grade next week and HOO BOY will it be a cluster. Right now our school year kicks off with my daughter remote, and the first thing she’s doing is logging into remote gym class. No welcome to a school. Just what’s up, let’s do gym via zoom first thing in the AM!
Then 30 minutes later she will have a google hangout with the other half of her class, if the in person kids get to school on time which a big TBD since school starts Tuesday and nobody has seen a bus schedule. The link for the google hangout may or may not be emailed the day before, maybe to my email address and maybe to the one they just assigned her but for which we have no password.
Because DH and I both work, daughter is going to a pod program, so they will have to facilitate all this. I just spoke to her teacher on the phone and burst into tears. And she nearly did too.
It feels like this hybrid model is just so, so hard. Everyone is trying so hard and it’s just so d*mn complicated. But full remote for these little kids is impossible too.
I wish they just had 2 days of in person school per week and read and did crafts or whatever at home on the off days.
FVNC says
My daughter started the school year in the school’s onsite child care, which sounds similar to the pod arrangement you have. My best advice is — just let this be the pod facilitator’s problem. There’s nothing you can do to improve it at this point, so just prepare your first grader for some bumps in the road and trust that it’ll get worked out. It won’t be perfect, but in first grade, kids don’t have a lot of reference as to what school is “supposed” to be, so it may be better than you’re imagining, even with technology fails and glitches (which will definitely happen) and seemingly wacky schedules.
Anonymous says
I so agree with your last paragraph. Let them go to school half time for the socialization and don’t worry about formal schooling when they’re home.
Anonymous says
Thank you for talking me down. Her program is at her theater/dance studio and is basically like drama camp + learning. I was all set to let her do that 9-12, then have DH or I work with her for a couple hours each day to get work done. We weren’t expecting these random live learning check ins on “off” days.
Her pod program is rolling with it, and they are going to do their best of course. We are lucky in that our kiddo is extremely flexible and bright/mature, so I have no worries about her actually learning what she needs to during in person days. But the rest… yuck.
Anonymous says
I am guessing that the first few weeks of school will be an absolute $hitshow everywhere, in person, on line, or hybrid. It’s all new, nobody has planned adequately, and no one knows what they’re doing. By October, the hybrid programs will be forced to go 100% virtual because of outbreaks, they will iron out the kinks and start running more smoothly, or they will realize that it isn’t working and make drastic changes like dropping synchronous instruction on out-of-school days.
And +1 million to letting it be the pod program’s problem. That’s what you’re paying them for.
Anon says
Maybe, maybe not! Schools have been open in my area for over a month in person and apparently it’s going really smoothy. There have been isolated cases but no outbreaks. They release weekly case numbers and the first week of school had the highest number of cases (I’m guessing due to summer travel and youth sports) and since then the numbers of been lower, so clearly school isn’t what’s driving transmission. And we are not a low infection area.
Lyssa says
Same here, 3 weeks in for in-person, and I haven’t heard anything bad yet. My kids are very happy.
Anon says
We just finished the first week of fully online learning with my first grader, and it went really smoothly. She actually was engaged, did all the work (happily even, which is a big improvement over the spring), the technology worked well, and the teacher was so well prepared. Less than 100% attendance, unfortunately, but it improved over the week; we had 24 of 26 kids on today’s video call.
Anon says
Any recs for fun outdoor activities for fall that are social distancing friendly? We probably only have 4-6 weekends of nice weather left, and I’m trying to make the most of them. In the summer we spent a lot of time at the outdoor pool, lake beach and zoo. We’ll probably go to the zoo a couple more times, but I’d love new ideas too! There are some fall festivals at orchards in our area but I think I’m too nervous about crowds to go to one of those, even outdoors.
Coach Laura says
How about a garden? We have an arboretum, a Japanese garden, a Chinese garden, a several botanical gardens and several nature reserves. Some/most have reopened.
Soon there will be pumpkin patches and fall corn mazes.
We have two aquariums, which won’t work if you’re not near water. Also an outdoor maritime museum and wooden boat center. You might also be able to rent a canoe.
We also have three large animal preserves like outdoor zoos – Northwest Trek and a game park (no hunting) and a Wildlife park.
Anon Lawyer says
Anyone on the West Coast? We’re in Portland and lucky to be in an area where I am not worried that we’ll be in personal danger. But 10% of the state’s population has been evacuated which is just horrifying. And we’re still under a yellow haze with hazardous air quality.
PDX Love says
Not currently in Oregon but I grew up and spent half my life in PDX.I truly did not grasp the full extent of the fires until I saw a map this morning and my parents showed me the red sky outside their house. I remember how upsetting the Gorge fire was in 2017 and the scale is so much more massive now. It is such a sad time for our beautiful state.
Coach Laura says
I’m outside Seattle and safe, thanks. My one coworker is in Medford. She went to help her sister evacuate on Tuesday and her sister’s house burned to the ground. Then my friend packed up her kids and evacuated at 11p.m., fire was on all five sides of the valley, roads were jammed so she went over the mountain on logging roads – very gutsy but scary. Single mom. She called me from the road, crying, and had me call our boss because she didn’t want to cry while talking to him. She’s evacuated twice since them but has not lost her house and I’m praying that she doesn’t. My other coworker in Medford is ok and has not had to evacuate.
My third coworker in Spokane helped two elderly neighbor couples pack up to evacuate and used water hoses to wet down a friend’s house and they were able to keep it from catching fire when there were no available firefighters. This friend’s husband is a firefighter and he was gone for four straight days and finally came home last night for four hours.
Really scary out there.