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Let’s be honest here, ladies: it’s November and it’s miserable. I have a feeling it’s going to be a long, cold, dark winter, bundled into whatever warm, snow-stomp-worthy boots you can find. So I say: great, focus on warmth with your outside gear. And then, change into these little babies when you get to the office. They’re classic but trendy, and would work for just about any occasion. They’re $98 at Zappos, available in sizes 5.5-11. Vince Camuto Raccia Psst: This may be the winter I finally break down and get some serious snow boots. Anyone have any favorites?Sales of note for 3.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off sale; $50 off $200
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; up to 40% off almost everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 40% off women’s dressed-up styles
- Lands’ End – 10% off your order
- Loft – 40% off your purchase
- Nordstrom: 4,400+ new markdowns
- Talbots – 25% off your purchase, including markdowns
- Zappos – 37,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off pajamas & free shipping on all orders (ends 3/18); at least 40% off everything
- Hanna Andersson – 30% off all dresses; up to 40% off Easter
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 40% off kids’ dressed-up styles
- Old Navy – 50% off everything (ends 3/20)
- Target – 20% off tees, tanks & shorts for all; BOGO 50% off kids’ books, board games, activity kits & puzzles; up to $150 off select Apple products
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
(former) preg 3L says
Paging Sophia from yesterday – post an anon email address so I can talk to you about my firm!
Carrie M says
I am also on the hunt for serious snow boots. Leaning towards Sorrels, which have received good review on this main s i t e. Would love any other suggestions!
Luckily, I won’t need them next week…headed to a warm island destination for the week! Cannot wait. Wish me luck flying with a 9mo old!
Anonyc says
Love, love my Sorrels. Mine are several years old, but I think they are Caribous. My feet are never cold in them, I can trek through serious snow and slush without worry, and during last year’s polar vortex I often left them on while I was hunkered at my desk. I’m originally from a more northern and snowy climate, and I don’t play around with wintergear (and thus got some ribbing from co-workers when I busted out my h-core puffer earlier this week).
Anon S says
Good morning ladies and happy Friday. I am not sure if this is the right audience since all of you ladies are clearly working moms, but . . . I am in my second trimester with my first child. I’m in big law, mid level associate. I was never super passionate (or honestly even remotely passionate) about my job and now that I’m pregnant, being pregnant is practically all I can think about. I’m certainly not blowing deadlines or doing lesser quality work, but I just don’t CARE about the work at all. Is this “normal”?? I have every intention to come back to work after maternity leave, although I definitely want to do part time and NOT full time. I guess I’m just wondering if my complete lack of interest in work is “normal” or expected or if I should be more concerned.
Spirograph says
Yes, completely normal. We just had a good chat here a couple weeks back about how several of us are phoning it in a little after kids… I definitely started emotionally divesting myself of most work-related things when I was pregnant with my 1st, and now I am third trimester with my 2nd and it’s all I can do to keep up the appearance of caring. Do your assigned work well, but save your mental and physical energy for the things you care about, and don’t feel bad about it at all!
Anon S says
Gah, I wish I would have been a part of that chat a few weeks ago. Any idea what date it was? I would like to look back at that conversation.
Thank you for telling me not to feel bad. Like, last night I only worked until 10PM when I probably should have worked later but I was like ummm I’m tired, goodnight! :)
(former) preg 3L says
Um, what? You’re 20+ weeks pregnant and you’re saying you “ONLY” worked until 10pm?? Girl, you are working crazy hours! If you can keep yourself in your office 10am-6pm I say you’re winning.
Anon S says
Well to be fair, I hardly EVER work that late. I’m actually worried about my hours for 2014. I had an EXTREMELY slow August and September (under 100 hours!!!!) so I won’t even hit 1800 hours this year!!! So that’s why I’m kind of freaking out now and trying to make up for it although like I said, hard to care! Thanks for all the encouragement!!
Spirograph says
11/10 – I found it on my first try! It’s Maternity Monday Twinkle Maternity Dress (I did not notice how ridiculous that name was until I just had to type it).
And yes, if you’re making it to 10pm, you’re doing waaaaay more than I did.
Anon S says
Thank you!!! Going to read that thread now :)
ECR says
The best piece of advice I received when I was on maternity leave and having second thoughts about returning to work was to go back for six months and not think about it. Wait at least that length of time before making a decision. There are definitely days now when I wish I was at home instead of at work and when I spend inordinate amounts of time staring at pictures of my daughter. But there are also days, particularly Mondays, when I feel like I have been “on” since Friday night, bathing, rocking, feeding, etc., and I am grateful to be doing something else.
My mom, who worked for 30 years as an investigative reporter, always reminds me that your feelings about your career and the right balance between family and work will change over your working life, and that’s completely normal. If I left the workforce now, I’d have a really difficult time returning when the kids start school. So, I’m doing the best I can to hang in there. Older moms tell me that they are so glad they have a career now that their kids are older. I want to at least have that option.
Anonyc says
Did you see the story about the Illinois bar exam denying nursing breaks to a new mother? She was asking for a “number of accommodations, including being allowed to take 20-minute breaks every two hours for pumping and breastfeeding and getting extra minutes to make up for the lost time.” I’ll post the link below.
I was also a new mom when I sat for the bar, and had the distinctly unpleasant experience of ducking out 20 minutes before the end of the session, when you were still allowed to leave, to desperately pump and dump in the gross Javits Center bathrooms (blerg). I guess this shortchanged me about an hour and twenty minutes over the course of the exam (four three-hour sessions over two days, loosing twenty minutes each session). My baby was older, so I could last through most of the sessions, plus the two hours preceding the test itself (because they insist on you showing up ridiculously early), but I was hurting towards the end. It never occurred to me at the time to ask for breaks or other accommodations; at the time I was too worried about the test. It was a bit humiliating to have to bring my manual in a clear ziplock, but not too bad.
With some more years under my belt, I look back and wish I had agitated for something–loosing an hour and twenty minutes, give or take, over the entire test is not insignificant. While I’m lucky to have passed, it would have stunk to have failed–all the more so because I definitely would have felt that my reduced time was a contributing factor. It completely bums me out that she was denied by the bar examiners, because, honestly, the bar exam is such a wasteful exercise to begin–do they really think this gives her an unfair leg up on her evaluation of commercial paper? Have none of these folks had babies and ask for a little leniency somewhere because for pete’s sake, they’re dealing with a one-month-old? Gah.
Anonyc says
http://blogs.wsj.com/law/2014/11/19/illinois-bar-exam-board-denies-mother-extra-time-to-breastfeed-during-test/?mod=WSJBlog
Pogo says
This kind of thing enrages me.
Not as dire, but I remember in high school dealing with long school days and strict testing schedules in which you were not allowed to use the bathroom (because cheating? I guess?) and being terrified about what to do when I was on my period. It’s not “special accommodations” for women, it’s just dealing with a biological need.
Oddly, in college where I went to a very competitive technical school, we were allowed to use the bathroom or leave whenever during an exam. I think this is mostly because on engineering exams there’s really no way to cheat (you can bring computers, phones, books, whatever, in with you).
(former) preg 3L says
ARGH tried to reply but it disappeared.
Just wanted to say ditto — pumped at Javits in the restroom, baby was 5 months, luckily passed on the first try. I only pumped once at lunch and I was able to bring my double electric pump, and I got a seat by the restroom (I wrote and asked for an accommodation).
eh230 says
Just bought some Colombia Minx boots after seeing a blog review, and I love them! I find a lot of boots uncomfortable for my wide, flat feet, but not these! They are super waterproof (we have had lost of snow in Michigan already) and keep my feet very warm.
Famouscait says
Hi ladies! Checking in again now that my guy is 3 weeks old. I missed the great discussion yesterday about an ideal maternity leave, but I thought I’d offer up a few thoughts/lessons learned on other topics:
Best advice from someone else on this site: Buy really comfortable clothes for maternity leave that you can both sleep in and receive visitors in. Genius. I feel put-together when people stop by, and comfortable enough for naps.
Get organized about how you’re going to let everyone know the baby has arrived. I didn’t get around to this task, and I’m still kicking myself for that. All kinds of people got left out of our original “He’s here!” email: aunts and uncles, work friends who moved to new companies, etc. In retrospect, this was far more important to me than having a playlist put together for the delivery room, for example. It’s really awkward to get well wishes from people who don’t know the baby has arrived and respond with an “Actually, he’s 3 weeks old!” email.
People say newborns are so tough: the lack of sleep, lots of feeding and diaper-changing, etc. But here’s the thing: as a first time mom, I don’t know anything different! It’s not like I’ve had the experience of caring for a 1 year old who sleeps through the night and doesn’t need an outfit change at 3am (if in fact 1 year olds are like that…) I think most of the “its so tough” feelings must come at you in retrospect, because in the moment, this is just my new normal and its fine.
Most importantly, I wanted to put something out there about how I felt immediately after delivery, in the hopes that it may help someone else. I was physically exhausted and emotionally… overwhelmed. Which is what I expected of myself, but I didn’t know how to deal with that in the moment. Baby was born and I felt stunned, incredulous, and was waiting for all that love to hit me like a mack truck. It didn’t. It seeped in slowly, over a matter of days. In the mean time, I let everyone else hold the baby and gaze at him. Mistake. I had all kinds of fleeting thoughts that I’d just made the worst mistake of my life. Not true. What I wish I could go back and say to my self is this: If you don’t know what to do with the baby, just model the behavior of those around you. Hold him. Gaze at him. That’s it. That’s all you’re supposed to do, and doing that will help you feel the feelings that came immediately to everyone else. Basically, fake it until you make it. Because you will make it, and then, 10 days (or 10 weeks or 10 months) in, you’ll look at this little creature and feel love!
I also have some thoughts on exclusively bottle-feeding from the get-go, but didn’t want to wax too poetic in one post. Hope this has been even a little bit helpful to someone else out there!
Carrie M says
Thanks for checking in! So impressed you’re doing so when he’s only three weeks, and glad to hear it’s going well!
On feeling emotionally overwhelmed: I totally understand. For me, I loved my baby but I did not have a moment in the hospital (or even in the immediate weeks after) where I felt like, this was meant to be or like my heart was going to explode with love. I had read so many blog posts re women immediately falling in love with their babies and….well, that just didn’t happen for me. Don’t get me wrong, I loved her. But it took us time to get to know each other and bond. Probably by 10/12 weeks, and especially as her personality emerged, I felt like I knew her and loved her so, so deeply. Now I can say that I have never felt a love like this before in my life. But it was not instantaneous for me.
Keep us updated! And enjoy your leave!!
Newly pregnant says
When you feel up to it, I’d love to hear about exclusively bottle feeding. Are you pumping/bottle feeding or doing formula? I’m concerned about the pain from bfeeding, and also want other people to be able to feed her (DH, grandparents, other caregivers).
Thanks for the update!
Maddie Ross says
Ok, I’m the furthest thing from a b-feeing nazi, so not trying to pressure (I swear!), just want to help allay your fears a bit about b-feeding pain. As in, it may not be that bad (honestly). It might. I know it is for many. But for many it’s not. For me, the worst pain of b-feeing was when I weaned. And that would have happened when I weaned at 14 months, or if I essentially immediately weaned by binding in the hospital. You do you, but just saying don’t let the fear of something that may not be keep you from doing what you want. There are tons of reasons to feed your baby in lots of different ways (including formula feeding because it’s too painful). Just saying don’t let fear drive you.
Jen says
It was absolutely excruciating for me, for about 2 weeks. Bleeding, cracking, shootin pains down to my toes. I was in tears every time. At one point I pumped exclusively to let the tissue heal. Then after about a week, the pain was gone.
(former) preg 3L says
I exclusively pumped for a few days after birth to allow my n!pples to heal. At the time, I thought WOW THIS IS SO MUCH LESS PAINFUL THAN BFING. Then we got the hang of BFing and now pumping is more uncomfortable. You can start pumping right away if you want, you can do bottles of formula if you want, but don’t overthink it! Do what you want and try to relax about it. As long as your baby is getting fed, you’re doing great.
Famouscait says
We are exclusively formula feeding. I was always very uncomfortable with the idea of breastfeeding, but still can’t quite articulate why. Bottle feeding is great in that it does allow other people to be part of baby-care. Baby sleeps for 3 -4 hour periods during the day, and 4 – 5 hour periods at night. From a logistical perspective, my husband and I switch off so we each are getting a decent amount of sleep each night. For example, if DH does “first shift”, I’ll sleep from 10pm – 2am, feed baby from 2:00 – 2:3oam, and then I’m back asleep from 3am – 8am. It doesn’t workout perfectly each night, but its not too bad. I have also been able to get away for a few hours on a couple of occasions (ahem: Target!) because DH/grandparents can feed the kiddo.
As important as sleep is the idea that DH and I are both equally responsible for baby care, or more specifically, that I’m not more important than he is in regards to baby care. This is perhaps not coming out as sensitively as I would like (dang baby-brain; I’m truly not trying to offend any bfeeding moms) but neither of us were comfortable with the idea that I would be somehow “chained” to the baby because of bfeeding. That was the one thing that made me feel like I couldn’t do it/didn’t want to be a parent. Again, not entirely sure why, but a very real feeling for me.
Finally, I had real life friends and read several times on this blog where people felt the pressures and pains of bfeeding negatively colored their early experiences with the baby. And that in retrospect, it would have been wiser to make a change than feel resentful towards the baby because of bfeeding. That really struck a chord with me. DH and I both felt, immediately at the hospital and still now weeks later, that bottle feeding was 100% the right choice for us.
Spirograph says
Am I remembering right that you were the one concerned about the hospital staff trying to push you toward bfeeding? Just curious whether you faced any of that and how you handled it. I’m glad you’re happy with your decision and it’s working well for you!
Moving says
My husband and I are renting an 1 bdrm apartment in NYC right now and we know that we can’t stay where we are when the baby arrives. Given the timing of everything, our lease is up about 3 weeks before the baby is due. We’ve debated the merits of breaking our lease and finding something now (or, any time before the baby arrives). If we break our lease, we’ll have to pay a penalty of 2 months rent, plus shell out first/last/deposit/possible brokers fee (around 15% of the annual rent) for the new place. I didn’t want to break our lease because it just seems like so much money, but I’m starting to get really anxious.
I’m feeling really unsettled in terms of figuring out where we’re going to live, what we can buy/register for because we don’t know the size of the baby’s room, what kind of childcare we’re going to use (I can’t sign up for daycare without knowing if the location will work for us), etc.
What would you all do? I think my husband will go along with whatever I decide.
(former) preg 3L says
How far along in your pregnancy are you?
IMHO:
Best Option: move 1-2 month(s) before the baby is due and just pay the double rent (because you’ll have to pay it anyway, if you break your lease). Get on daycare waiting lists NOW.
Second Best: Extend your lease by 6 months (nearly all leases allow you to extend 6 months on ONE occasion), move with a 5-month-old baby (apt hunt with a 3-4 month old baby = totally possible, maybe even still during your mat leave, baby won’t be mobile before 6 months)
Newly pregnant says
I’m 14 weeks now, so there still is plenty of time but the daycare waiting list anxiety is looming large!
(former) preg 3L says
Daycare waiting lists are insane. I got on a waiting list when I was 15 weeks pregnant and didn’t get a spot until the baby was 4 months old. Get on a waiting list somewhere now, so that you’ll have that option, and get on another waiting list once you move. Some waiting list fees are low ($25, literally, for one daycare in Brooklyn Heights) and some are high ($2,000 for another daycare in Brooklyn Heights).
CHJ says
Given that your lease penalty is 2 months rent, could you find a new place and move 1 month before your lease is up, which would be almost two months before your due date? You would still have to eat a month of rent, but that’s still savings off breaking your lease. And, you would probably have to find the new place even earlier than that, so you’d know your neighborhood and what the space was like as early as 3-4 months before the baby is due.
Daycare is trickier though. Can you narrow your search to 2-3 neighborhoods and go on waiting lists for daycares in each of those neighborhoods?
hoola hoopa says
This was going to be my suggestion, too.
Also agree with ml that you can stay if month-t0-month is an option. For the first ~2-3mo baby will probably be rooming with you anyway. I like distance after that, but you could go longer especially if you end up bedsharing, although I personally wouldn’t want to stay longer than 6 mo, definitely not another year.
Is daycare near work an option? Transitioning to a new place is inconvenient, but remember that you can always switch once you find your new neighborhood. Other option is to narrow your neighborhood search and get on waitlists in your current neighborhood and one in every potential neighborhood. The piece of mind can be well worth the lost application fees. Another option is to plan on a nanny initially.
For gear, register and store elsewhere in-box until you’re ready. For items you’ll buy yourself, just buy as you go.
ml says
I don’t have personal experience, but several friends assured me that while it was less-than-ideal, living in a 1-BR apartment with an infant is totally doable. You can put a bassinet in your bedroom, you can change baby anywhere, and I’m sure you have a comfy chair somewhere already. Unless you are independently wealthy or have great maternity benefits, there is enough financial (and other) stress involved with a new baby that electing a 2-month rent penalty is not a route I’d take. I’d just find childcare based on where you live now and plan on staying put for at least an extra 6 months or so after baby’s born, assuming you can extend your lease without paying some obscene month-to-month rate.
Pogo says
I’ve also heard this from friends.
I actually have friends that live in a place that’s technically a 1-BR and have TWO kids (they have an extra room w/ no closet, so it’s not technically a BR; one kid sleeps there and the other kid sleeps in a large closet off the actual bedroom). Their kids are 3.5yrs and 8 mos. It’s not great, but real estate is expensive, and they make it work.
Maddie Ross says
Reposting from yesterday, but has anyone used a sleep coach with their child? We have created a monster – totally inadvertently. We started by bringing our daughter in with us in the morning at around 10 months old to get an extra hour or so of sleep when she’d wake at 5. Over the last 9 months, this has slipped gradually earlier and earlier, until now it’s midnight some nights when she gets in bed with us. For a long time, this worked really well actually. But now that she’s older, some nights are just awful – she’ll sit in bed between us and just play, or demand water, attention, etc. I’m at the end of my rope. Has anyone hired anyone like this with any luck? Am I dreaming to think that there’s someone out there that can help me fix the mess I made? (Am I getting a bit overly dramatic due to lack of sleep???)
(former) preg 3L says
I would hire a sleep coach if I were in your position. No personal experience though.
Carrie M says
I get newsletters from The Baby Sleep Site, which offers sleep coaching, but I’ve never used their services. If you’re in the DC area, I know of a woman who will come to your house for a week and straighten your child’s sleep schedule. Neighbors tell me she works magic.
Two Cents says
Yes, hire a sleep consultant. Dr. Erin Evans at Baby Sleep Science is wonderful (she does phone consults and is very, very helpful). She also writes a helpful blog.
I would also hire a night nanny/nurse ASAP. Sleep deprivation is no fun. Hire someone just 1-2 times a week at first and see what you think. I was very skeptical at first but when you can sleep 8 hours straight, you realize that sleep is priceless! I still had to get up to pump but at least didn’t worry about changing diapers, putting baby back to sleep, etc.
Spirograph says
No advice on the sleep coach, but we’ve faced the same slippery slope with our son. Repeatedly, because I don’t learn. Does your daughter still sleep in a crib, or is she able to wander into your bed without your help? My son’s still in a crib, so we just do a cold-turkey reset every few months when I get to the end of my rope (like this week). When he wakes up, we give him a couple minutes to see if he’ll go back to sleep without intervention, and after that just go in and give him a hug, sing him his going to sleep song, and put him back down. He usually only cries for another 5 minutes after that and then I wonder why I have been sleeping terribly with a toddler in my bed for the last 2 months when it is that easy… Of course, every child is different, but it might be worth a try!
ECR says
Start with a visit to your pediatrician. Our practice has a lot of advice for sleepless parents. It will give you the support you need to start things on the right track. They may also be able to provide referrals to a sleep coach if they think it’s necessary. We sleep trained at 4 months because the pediatrician said it was time. Best advice I have ever received! Baby now loves her crib and actually squeals with joy when we put her down for bed. I thought I had been putting her welfare above my own well being by bringing her in our bed, etc. The pediatrician really helped me see the light.
I also highly recommend the Weissbluth book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I am 100% behind his philosphy that healthy sleep is crucial for baby’s development. Weissbluth even has a section on what to do when your baby is waking up too early (which seems like your issue).
Pump question says
Anyone familiar with the Ameda Purely Yours double electric bre*st pump? My pharmacy benefit entitles me to a free one, so I will definitely be getting it, but would like to hear reviews. I had only really been familiar with Medela before learning what my benefit covered.
(former) preg 3L says
Your health insurance should pay for one double electric pump, and Medela should be one of the options. I’m fairly certain they have to offer more than one model. I would highly recommend the Medela.
Pump question says
This is the only electric option. (I’m a fed; benefit is through Caremark).
Carrie M says
My insurance company offered two brands, but neither option was a Medela. They offered an Ameda one and another brand I had never heard of. I ended up renting the hospital grade Medela Symphony.
nina says
“Fairly certain”? About someone else’s health insurance? She asked about a particular model.
Tunnel says
+1
Katarina says
I used the Ameda Purely Yours, and it was fine. I have never used a Medela, so I can’t compare. I like that it is a closed system, and I think it is smaller. I never had any particular problem with the Ameda.
Pump question says
Glad to hear that; thanks for your answer!
Jen says
Same experience here!
mss says
Me too!
JBJD says
I used the Ameda Purely Yours. Ameda is actually an offshoot of Medela so they have a lot in common. I have nothing to compare it to, but I think it worked fine. Only real issue – make sure you have lots of extra valves on hand. If you lose suction, it’s often a valve problem and even miniscule tears will impact performance.
In House Lobbyist says
My sister’s insurance covered the Ameda – her husband was a federal employee. I gave her my Medela when I was done and she said it was so much better. So something is better than nothing but you might want a Medela if you want to pump for a long period of time. She was about to give up at 3 months or so but continued several more months with thr Medela. I had 2 Medelas – one for home and thr battery powered one for work and travel.
Pump question says
Thanks to everyone for your helpful comments, and especially the tip about the valves.
MomAnon4This says
I am loving these comment threads lately. Thank you all!
FVNC says
+ 1 million
cali says
Crap, hit report by accident, but me tooooo – everyone here is just so helpful and not judgmental.