For this installment of our Week in the Life of a Working Mom series, I’m happy to introduce CorporetteMoms reader Heather, who lives in the Washington, D.C., area with her husband and two kids (twins!) and works as a civil servant in the U.S. government.
Our usual caveat applies: Please remember that this is is a real person who has feelings and isn’t gaining anything from this, unlike your usual friendly (soul-deadened, thick-skinned, cold-hearted, money-grubbing) blogger — so please be kind with any comments. Thank you! — Kat
If you’d like to be featured (anonymously or otherwise), please fill out this form! You can see all posts in this series here.
First, Some Basics About This Working Mom…
Name: Heather
Location: Work in Washington, D.C.
Job: Civil servant in U.S. government
Age: 40
Home Situation: I live in a 3,000-square-foot single family home with my husband (52-year-old aviation inspector), our kids (11-year-old girl/boy twins with ADHD), and two dogs
Childcare Situation: We do not currently have any child care help since the pandemic started.
How is the work-life balance in your industry in general? What are common ways of juggling responsibilities that you see your colleagues and coworkers doing?
Work-life balance is theoretical under the current [2020] presidential administration. Many supervisors don’t have kids, or their wives stayed home. I go into work early, like 6:30, and leave at 3:30 to be home by 4:00. With the pandemic, we are starting earlier, dealing with school/virtual camps, then working more. Telework was decimated under this current administration; we are only allowed to telework one day a week (pre-pandemic).
How do you handle household chores, such as laundry, grocery shopping, housecleaning, etc.? Who does what, and when — and how often?
I have a housekeeper that comes once a week to clean. But laundry days are Friday. Kids are starting to wash and dry their own clothes; I make my husband do his own. I end up folding most of the clothes. I order groceries from Amazon/Whole Foods. I was using one of the meal delivery services for three meals a week and then adding to them but forgot to restart them after we went on vacation. The kids get a chore list every morning; they have to sweep and mop the kitchen, unload and reload the dishwasher, and weed the gardens out front. I make the shopping lists, pay the bills, and make meals.
We asked if Heather had advice to share regarding parenting kids with ADHD:
Early identification would have been helpful. Don’t be afraid of medication; it has worked wonders for both kids. Try to keep a routine for each kid. We use multiple electronic calendars and dry erase boards in our house to keep track of everyone’s schedules. Find what works best for each kid. Even though both twins are diagnosed with ADHD, their behaviors and symptoms manifest themselves very differently, especially in girls. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from your pediatrician. Also, ask friends for provider recommendations.
A Week in My Life
Note: This was a week in Heather’s life during summer 2020.
Sunday
This is a sleep-in day during the summer, but during the school year we are up by 7:00 a.m. to drop the kids off at religious school by 8:00. Husband makes coffee and watches CBS Sunday Morning until 10:30.
We call our former au pair, who lives in the UK, and talk with her for a couple of hours. About 1:00 p.m., we go out and do yardwork and house projects.
Dog had to go to the groomers at 3:00, and that takes about 90 min. I drove up the street to pick her up.
I make dinner around 5:30 p.m.; kids were downstairs watching a movie and playing on the Wii.
Monday
I get up at 6:30 a.m. to get ready for work. Husband left to go in to work at 6:00. Got coffee, kids slept in until 10:00. They got their chores out of the way.
Girl child FaceTimed with her friends, and boy child played Wii and watched a movie. Kids made themselves lunch, and I sent them outside until 3:30 p.m., when boy child has virtual counseling.
At 5:00, I interviewed someone our family and another family are considering to teach our pod for virtual schooling this year. That lasted an hour. I made dinner and husband was home by 8:00.
Kids and I watched a couple of TV shows and we were all in bed by 9:30.
We asked Heather if she had any advice for readers interested in working for the federal government, and she shared this:
Find a friend or a service of someone who is familiar with Federal Resumes, and have that person proofread it. They are very specific and not like corporate or other nonprofit resumes. Do not be discouraged if you aren’t hired right away. At one point, I had 50 applications in for a particular federal job series at different agencies. I narrowed down the departments I wanted to work in and set up searches for those agencies and locations through USAJobs. There are few Departments that are not required to use USAJobs and have their own system. You’ll have to apply to those separately.
Tuesday
I get up at 6:30 a.m. to get ready for work. Husband left to go in to work at 6:00. Got coffee, kids slept in until 10:00. They got their chores out of the way.
I worked until 12:30 and then had to drive to a doctor’s appointment. Was back by 2:00. The kids read books, watched movies, and played outside on the ninja line we bought in the spring.
My boy child has a pre-algebra online enrichment class he is taking starting at 4:00. I finished work around 5:00 and ordered take out from a local Caribbean place up the street from our house. Husband was home by 7:00.
We watched a bit of TV and went to sleep by 10:00.
Wednesday
I get up at 6:30 a.m. to get ready for work. Husband left to go in to work at 6:00. Got coffee, kids slept in until 9:00. They got their chores out of the way.
I worked through the day until 4:00 p.m. Kids played video games and made a YouTube video, read books, chatted with friends, and rode bikes until 5:00.
At 5:00, I interviewed another pod teacher candidate. Husband made it home by 5:30 to participate in the last half of the interview. Called our friends to discuss the two candidates we interviewed this week and to put together a list of questions on the upcoming virtual school year to our principal, who is having a coffee talk/town hall next week.
Made dinner. I went outside to read magazine for about 30 min. Then it was upstairs to get ready for bed. My kids went to the basement to watch a movie together.
Here’s an update from Heather on how the teaching pod turned out:
Our pod lasted through the end of October. Each kid had a completely different schedule even though they were in the same grade at the same school. It became too stressful for us and the other family. We didn’t want the pod to ruin our friendship. So we dissolved the pod. As of today, the kids are back in their building two days a week.
Thursday
I get up at 6:30 a.m. to get ready for work. Got coffee, kids slept in until 9:00. They got their chores out of the way.
Husband left for work at 10:00. I worked until lunch. Both kids ate around noon.
My girl child had an online telehealth appointment at 1:00 p.m. that lasted 90 minutes. She also has a virtual Japanese language and culture class this afternoon at 5:00.
Boy child has his second virtual pre-algebra enrichment class this week. I make dinner, but this time I needed easy. I threw in two frozen pizzas.
We took one dog for a three-mile walk through our neighborhood. Finally poured myself a glass of wine.
Friday
I get up at 6:30 a.m. to get ready for work. Husband left to go in to work at 6:00. Got coffee, kids slept in until 10:00. They got their chores out of the way.
Housekeeper arrives at 10:30 and is finished by 3:00 p.m. Friday is shabbat. So I try to finish work by 3:30, so I can prepare dinner.
Husband makes it home by 6:00 and we sit down to dinner, light candles, and enjoy a non-rushed family dinner.
Saturday
Today is screen-free Saturday. We started this back in March at the beginning of the pandemic because we all were on screens so much more often than before. We get projects around the house done.
My girl child had a virtual sleepover with one of her “BFFs.” They keep the laptop open on FaceTime and watch a movie together with popcorn.
We also got takeout for dinner but I don’t remember where we went. I also spent two hours on the phone with our mobile phone provider working out why I was having signal reception problems.
Thanks so much to Heather for sharing a bit of her life as a working mom! Readers, what’s your biggest takeaway from her week of work as a civil servant as well as her general work/life balance?
Stock photo via Stencil.
also in DC says
Also a federal civil servant, considering a very similar work schedule when back in the office full time. Do you have any tips for making it work? How has it been to balance with childcare (not sure how long you have been working same schedule–was it different when the kids were younger)? Thank you!!
Heather says
Hi, my kids are older now so I can leave them home or find a carpool. We had an Au Pair until the kids were 8. So I could work earlier and make it home for activities and dinner. My schedule post-Covid will be very travel heavy. My husband’s will also become travel heavy and we are basically crossing fingers that the schedules don’t overlap. My mom has been wonderful also. She will come up and spend a week with the kids if needed. But my kids are now 11.5 and can be trusted to stay home for a few hours alone. But my early schedule and husband’s later schedule is how we’ve managed the last couple of years.
also in DC says
Thank you! That’s wonderful that you could balance it like that. We’re going to try for the same.
Do you have a recommendation for au pair agency? It sounds so lovely that you maintain your relationship with your former au pair Not sure where to start in finding one, having seen conflicting information on our neighborhood email group. Thanks!
Heather says
We’ve used CHI, Au Pair in America, and Cultural Care. We had great Au Pairs from all three. I didn’t personally like the admin for CC, but I’ve had plenty of friends who had perfectly normal experiences. CHI is a bit less expensive but their applicant pool is more limited.
Anonymous says
Where in DC do you live (do you kids go to public or private)? Do you expect to transition back to going to the office, and what was your commute like? Any thoughts on cost of living?
Anonymous says
I have the same questions! Thanks in advance for answering.
Heather says
I live in Arlington and my kids are in public school. I do expect to transition back to the office this summer. Our office travels a lot but it is a small office, so I find it helpful to be in the office at least a couple of days a week. My commute is/was via metro. It’s 35 min door to door, if I drove it would be 10, but parking is very expensive. Cost of Living is much higher inside the beltway versus outside the beltway but you trade commuting time for price. We used to live in Ashburn and commute into DC. That was three hours round trip and about $300 a month in tolls. I think we end up paying less in real estate tax than we would if we lived in Maryland (for instance, Montgomery County) but the cost of housing in Arlington is out of control. I have a friend who lives in Frederick Maryland and commutes to College Park Maryland. She drives about 3 hours round trip every day but her housing costs are about half of what mine are.