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Being pregnant during the holiday season is fun because you get to indulge in all of the delicious food that is constantly being thrown your way, and you get to wrap yourself in cozy clothes while snuggling up indoors (I’m an indoor cat.) Unfortunately for me, I was pregnant during the holidays but could not indulge my sweet tooth due to gestational diabetes. I did, however, like full-coverage clothing while pregnant in the winter. I really like this sweater in both the light gray with pearl beads and dark gray with sequins. I see this top being the perfect pregnant solution to holiday office parties or other “festive” dressing occasions. It’s full coverage, conservative, and still wins you a participation trophy for the holiday season. The sweater is $39.99 at H&M, but right now you can get it for 30% off ($27.99) with free shipping. It comes in sizes S–XL (XS is sold out) and is machine washable. MAMA Knit Sweater This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 5.5.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase (ends 5/12); $50 off your $200+ purchase (ends 5/5)
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Kid/Family Sales
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
anon says
Need to refresh some of my shoes anyways and feel like I should take advantage of cyber Monday sales. Any recs on good shoes for end of pregnancy (28 weeks) or good easy shoes to slip on when carrying a baby? I can’t do Danskos or tall clogs like that because my ankles roll and need something that looks good with socks because it’s winter. None of this bare ankle stuff. Thanks! TLDR looking for comfy, cute, easy to get on shoes.
Leatty says
Sam Edelman Felicia flats are so comfortable and perfect for pregnancy and after.
Leatty says
Sorry, I totally missed the part of your comment that mentioned needing to be able to wear socks with them.
anon in brooklyn says
I wore Blundstones for winter while baby wearing. Warm and easy to get on.
AwayEmily says
I think you mean indoor shoes but I will mention my new boots anyway — Kamik Sienna C. I can slip them on and off without bending over, they are cozy and don’t make my socks fall down, and they look cute.
For indoor use I wear Glerup slippers and adore them.
Anonymous says
Uggs, honestly. They’re ugly but functional.
lawsuited says
+1 I wear Ugg Ainsleys indoors and Ugg Cedrics outdoors.
Allie says
I would be very nervous to buy shoes at this point of pregnancy – what if you temporary go up a shoe size for the third trimester? Or if you permanently go up a half size from the pregnancy.
OP says
Well, I get thats its not ideal but I don’t have shoes that aren’t falling apart right now so thats my only option.
Kids nail polish? says
Favorite nail polish for toddlers? Yes, that’s what was requested from santa…
Anon says
Nail polish always came off almost immediately. I don’t know if she picked it or washed it off, but I could never get it to stay on. We used Piggy Toes when she was super young. You have to reapply almost every day, so I’d let her do it for a few days in a row, then take a break for a month or so until she asked again.
Around 3 I started just using regular polish. Even for myself, I only buy those mini bottles (I never use a full bottle before it goes bad) and she loves to pick out the perfect colors for her fingers and toes. It still only lasts a few days, but it scratches her itch.
Anonymous says
I would avoid water-based “natural” polishes. I spent $$$ on a set of Piggy Paint, only to discover that the stuff was absolutely impossible to remove, even with their special extra-strength remover.
Anony says
I’ve been using some super speed dry Sally Hansen polish, because my kiddo can barely sit and wait for it to dry without touching it.
Another Midwest mom says
The Sally Hansen quick-dry stuff is good for squirmy toddlers and preschoolers. I guess I don’t worry too much about being all-natural or whatever. Most of it ends up chipping off anyway, because preschool.
SG says
What about the nail stickers?
Anonymous says
Piggy polish has been great for toddlers. For the poster that couldn’t get it off- it dissolves basically immediately in water. I had trouble getting it off *my* goes when my daughter painted them because I generally only shower. A soak in a soapy bath took it right off.
My 2 y/o gets piggy polish and with my 5 y/o, if I do it she gets grown up polish and if she paints her own or her sisters she uses Piggy.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Wise Hive – tell me about your weekends and how you plan for them. I’ve read “How Not to Hate Your Husband After Having Kids”, and while she talks about the Friday night discussion of how the weekend will go, I’m asking for DETAILS. When do you have fun as a family, get solo time/time with your partner, workout, grocery shop, meal prep, etc.? Right now the lack of clarity and planning is creating a situation where I feel like I’m running around and it isn’t until DS is asleep for the night do I squeeze in a workout, while DH gets a lot more rest, knocks out his workout while I’m taking care of DS, etc. We both agree that we need to re-calibrate, which is the good news.
For context, DS is 1 and still on 2 naps. DH would like us to get out more to museums, trying new restaurants, etc. which I agree on but I tell him that doesn’t happen without planning . Pre-DS, I would always get annoyed at DH for complaining that we weren’t getting out enough but not doing any type of planning/research – after our conversation last night DH agreed to take on the research on what’s going on in a weekend, where to go, etc. Also, we use Instac*rt, but I am picky about produce so prefer not to use it every week, if that makes sense. We also currently outsource house cleaning. I spend a few hours on Sundays meal prepping at least our lunches and a few other items that can be used for dinners for the week.
Anonymous says
Honestly, we didn’t leave the house much until kiddo was down to 1 nap. Babies that age don’t need playdates, and going on an excursion is impractical in the ~2-3 hour window you have between naps. It gets SO MUCH easier to go do stuff once you have the whole morning.
Cb says
True! My kiddo needs to be moving to nap so I was able to get out and about a lot in the two nap days but some babies are tougher.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’m pretty sure we also didn’t do much in terms of activities until our older son was down to one nap (which was at some point right before age 1). Prior to the new baby, our schedule was similar to others’ in that it was broken into 4 segments: Saturday morning activity (which was typically my husband taking him to the grocery store and then maybe park), Saturday afternoon activity (playground, zoo, get food out somewhere), Sunday morning activity and then Sunday evening activity. It’s harder in the winter for afternoon activities as the sun sets around 4:30 now, so we’ve been doing some indoor activities like puzzles, play-doh, TV, indoor playspace.
Now that we’ve also got a 1 month old, our weekends are a little in flux and my husband and I end up splitting up the kids, or my parents come over to watch the toddler.
Pogo says
I wouldn’t do it every weekend, but in the 2-nap era we would leave for a museum or event at the time of his morning nap (8:30ish) and he’d nap in the car. Would then attempt to transfer sleeping baby in bucket seat to the snap n go – sometimes successful.
Cb says
I have a toddler as well and think we’ve got a decent weekend routine. I do the emotional labor of planning but my husband does more of the heavy lifting of errands etc which seems to work for us. We tend to chat on Thursday or Friday night about weekend plans and I make a to do list and a little schedule and put it on the dining table.
Saturday am my son and husband go to music class in town and I run a few errands in the same neighbourhood or I’ll go to a yoga class. This takes us to naptime – my kiddo loves a pram nap so we grab a coffee and walk around the park while he sleeps. When he wakes up, we go to the lunch, meet friends, go to the play park, or the museum or head home, depending on weather and preferences.
Sundays are a bit more free form, I typically make a real breakfast and we hang out at home until naptime. My husband walks him to sleep and sneaks back in the house while I take care of household chores, prep things for dinner etc. I listen to podcasts so I don’t mind. After nap time, we will go out. Yesterday, we went into town to the Christmas market, sometimes we go for a walk with the local family walking group or go to an adventure playground – something to get us outdoors and moving around. Next week, we’re having a bunch of babies from our childbirth class over.
We’ve got a weekly cleaner and my husband typically grocery shops while I’m putting kiddo to bed on Sunday night – the store is quiet and he’s in and out in a few minutes.
If kiddo wakes up before 7, we will take turns getting up with him. He naps longer if we can roll him into the house so Sunday is typically mellower. We also have the weather to contend with – it gets dark at 4pm which definitely curtails things.
Sarah from the SHU Box has written a lot on weekend planning which might be helpful. There might be a Best of Both Worlds episode on it.
OP says
I also LOVE listening to podcasts while taking care of stuff around the house – especially when solo parenting! While DS naps better at home, I do think letting one of the naps be a pram or carseat nap (and then putting him to bed earlier if needed) would help. Already scrolling SHU Box and have had Best of Both Worlds on my list so will finally delve in – thank you!
Cb says
Aw, glad it’s helpful. We’ve got a weekly cleaner so we don’t have loads and loads to do at the weekend but I am much faster at doing tidying, laundry, organizing routine so I send him out into the elements while I listen to something and see how much I can get done in an hour.
He’ll likely drop that second nap within the next few months and it’s like a whole new world! My kiddo dropped his nap quite early but weirdly hasn’t shifted it to the afternoon – he generally falls asleep about 3.5 hours after waking up which puts the kibosh on morning activities on my day off with him. Hoping that’ll change in the coming months.
AwayEmily says
We have two kids (2.5 and 10 months, and the baby is still napping twice a day) and what works well for us is a lot of routine, with some flexibility built in.One weekend day is a “home” day. We go to the grocery store EARLY (~7:30am) to do our shopping for the week, and treat it as a fun adventure (we are lucky that our grocery store also sells egg sandwiches). We spend that day doing things around the house (including cooking) and playing outside and then we go to the library after both kids wake up from their naps.
The other day is more flexible — about 2/3 of the time we go to my mom’s house for the day (the kids nap there), and the other third we will try to make a playdate with someone, or go to to the museum, or the zoo.
I usually nap both days during the kids’ afternoon naps.
Honestly, at this stage we keep our plans/expectations very low. At some point when the kids are older we will do more going on hikes, or day trips, or whatever, but at this point it’s all about maximizing rest and together time, for all of us.
Cb says
Flexibility is definitely key. And while brunch was fabulous from about 3-12 months, it’s tougher now that I’ve got a mobile child.
CPA Lady says
Weekends go as follows, with one 4 year old child:
Saturday
Wake up at 7 am.
I take child through Dunkin drive through to get donuts and coffee for us all. Then we go to get gas for my car. Husband stays at home and takes a shower or does whatever he wants.
We go home, eat breakfast and get ready for the day.
Husband takes kiddo to grocery store. This counts as her “morning activity” on Saturdays. I am alone in the house in blissful silence. I use this time however I want.
Husband and kiddo get home. Kiddo plays or watches a few minutes of TV while groceries are put away.
Lunch prep begins.
We eat lunch, kiddo plays for a few minutes, then gets put down to nap from 1-3-ish
After kid wakes up, we get her a snack, which she frequently eats in the car while we drive to our afternoon activity.
Afternoon activity is typically something kid focused we do as a family out of the house. Children’s museum, playground, etc.
Go home and make dinner.
Kid plays
Bedtime at 7pm
Sunday:
Wake up at 7am
Breakfast
I take kiddo to church. We leave around 9:15am. I’m in the choir, so I have rehearsal for an hour before church. We typically get home around 12:15. This is husband’s alone time in the house.
Lunch
Nap
Afternoon activity usually as a family, sometimes husband takes kiddo alone depending on when she naps.
I try to go to a 90 minute yoga class on Sunday nights, but this does not always happen. It is from 5:30-7:00, so husband does bedtime on his own if I go.
When kiddo was napping twice a day, we did none of this. Regular activities outside the house didn’t really start until she was around 2 years old. She dropped her second nap around the time she turned 1, but since she was not really able to do much we didn’t go on a lot of adventures beyond me pushing her around Target in a stroller or something like that.
AIMS says
I just want to say how amazing your 1-3 nap and 7-7 sleep schedule! My dream!! My soon to be 3 y.o. has a hard time doing both.
CPA Lady says
She doesn’t always nap, but she stays in her room, which is all I care about.
AIMS says
Still amazing. Enjoy!
Anon says
It’s a lot of sleep for a 4 year old. My kids have always been 12 hour night sleepers, which I’m very grateful for, but they both dropped naps completely around 2.5.
Anonymous says
Agree. I’ve always had a 7-7 sleeper (she’s 6 now and it’s 7:30-7:30) but she stopped napping at 2.5, cold turkey.
My other is 2.5 and still naps 1-3 but sleeps 8:30-6:30.
Anon says
I have a 10 month old on two naps. It’s sort of a constant adjustment as baby grows up and the nap schedule changes, but here’s what it’s looked like for the last few months. We go out for dinner as a family one night (usually Saturday) and out for brunch one day (usually Sunday). We don’t live in a big city, so there’s no “research” involved – we just discuss where we’d like to go. Occasionally one of us will see that a new place has opened and we’ll try it. We generally spend mornings as a family. I make panckes or waffles at home on the day we don’t go out to brunch. Usually on one weekend afternoon, I read or Skype friends or family, while DH goes grocery shopping. Maybe once every 4-6 weeks, I’ll spend “my” afternoon out with friends or to the theater, and so then DH fits in grocery shopping at some other point during the weekend while I’m with the baby. The other weekend day, DH goes to the gym/plays pickup sports with friends. I usually do a bit of light cleaning (we have a monthly cleaning service, but there’s still stuff to tidy) and emotional labor (like buying new clothes and gear for baby). After baby is in bed, DH and I usually do our own thing – he plays video games and I read or watch TV until it’s time for us to go to bed.
We don’t do much in the way of excursions at home. Our town doesn’t have a local zoo/children’s museum etc and baby is too young for library storytime. We do travel a lot. Probably once every 6-8 weeks, we take a trip out of town for the weekend or longer. So that obviously completely throws the whole weekend off – I don’t have much reading time, DH doesn’t spend a whole afternoon at the gym, but we spend a lot of quality time together as a family exploring a new place.
We don’t do any meal prep. We make pretty simple dinners and eat frozen meals (I like Amy’s) or go out for lunches. We don’t really do weekend datenights – there are zero restaurants in our town that we can’t take the baby to, and DH isn’t a theater person so I go by myself or with friends. We work at the same company and have lunch dates regularly. Neither of us ever has to work weekends, although sometimes we choose to do a little work.
lawsuited says
LO wakes up at 6am and we do a more leisurely version of our morning routine (I dress and play with LO while DH gets ready, and DH gives LO breakfast while I get ready) which usually includes some time sitting in bed drinking our morning tea and discussing the plan for the day. We’re ready for the day by 8/8:30am and will sometimes go out for breakfast with friends or family, or run an errand as a family like going to the grocery store or IKEA. Our LO is down to one nap per day (which really helps!), but when he had 2 naps a day DH and I would spell off so that one of us stayed at home with LO during each nap and the other used it as personal time (so that’s when you’d do workouts, get a manicure, grab coffee with a friend or run errands you’d prefer to do sans LO). Saturday nights are usually our date nights, and Sunday nights are spent at home cooking a family dinner and getting ready for the week. Trips to the museum or zoo or whatever are a bigger undertaking because they can’t be fit in between naps so we have to plan for a mobile nap (or not) and accept that the rest of day may be out of whack as a result. We do something like that once a month or so.
Seafinch says
I have an 8, a 5, and a 2 year old. The baby naps 2+ hours from about 1130/1200.
Most of us are usually up around 0700 (but it can move).
My husband does breakfast and I lie in, usually. We have a full breakfast by about 0900 at the latest. I then make some quick notes, rough out a shopping plan, and run errands until around lunch time. My main effort is getting this done during Saturday a.m. Husband tasks kids with assisting with household jobs/ cleaning basement toys/just playing alone/ outdoor activity in the neighbourhood. Maybe once every six weeks or as much as ten weeks, he will take them swimming during winter or we will do some other excursion on either weekend day (museum, etc). It doesn’t happen often and we don’t have any weekend activities regularly scheduled.
Lunch of leftovers or sandwich type things, I get home around this time and unpack and do secondary list of anything I didn’t get to. We usually start the laundry and pick away at it as time permits throughout the day and into Sunday.
After baby gets up he will usually do another outdoor activity (sledding, skating, playground) and will collect other neighbourhood kids like the Pied Piper. I will finish errands or meal prep. Very occasionally we have a birthday party to work in. Any number of kids will end up at ours playing in the mi-late afternoon.
Sundays, I will finish anything I haven’t gotten to for shopping and the main effort is meal prep, otherwise a copy of Saturday.
We entertain about every 10-14 weeks and invite people for brunch. During the summer it is more frequent and we host a lot of casual meals by our pool.
Anon says
I have a 15 month old that hates to sleep. I generally try to limit us to one “leave the house” activity per weekend. This weekend was crazy in that I hosted T-giving, Friday we went out to dinner at 8PM post game, Saturday afternoon we had a pool playdate, and Sunday we tried family pictures in the backyard with the tripod and self-timer (retakes scheduled for Wednesday because they were terrible), went out and got a Christmas tree and met up with DH’s friends for a late (7PM) dinner. Typical weekend looks like this:
Friday night – get home from work around 6 on a good day, 8 or 9 on a bad day. Eat something, feed toddler 2nd dinner with me if she’s hungry, snuggle and play with toddler, usually with TV on in background, while tossing a load of laundry in. Start bath around 10 pm, move clothes to dryer, get toddler changed, hand off to her dad to snuggle in our bed, go read or work or play on my phone in the nursery until confirmed she is asleep. Transfer child to crib sometime between 10:30-11 (may involve a wakeup and mommy laying on the nursery floor and-or CIO depending on how sleepy she is). Crawl in bed, sleep.
Saturday – I usually wake up around 8:30ish. Toddler wakes up between 8:30 and 10 depending on how late she went to bed. I take her downstairs, feed her and me breakfast, and she runs around or watches sesame street or otherwise plays. Our groceries get delivered, so I put those away. If I liked to exercise, this is probably when I’d suit up, toss her in the stroller and go for a walk. I do not. DH wakes up around 11ish and comes downstairs, snuggles with the baby and usually feeds her lunch with his “breakfast”. I take time to shower. These days we usually settle in for college football while toddler plays with her toys and generally refuses to nap, occasionally I do a couple of hours of work. Eventually we get her down for a nap sometime between 4 and 6. Post nap, we will meet up with friends, go out to dinner, etc. Prepare toddler for bed around 10ish, let her fight it out with DH in our bed, finally transfer, sleep.
Sunday – I wake up around 8:30 and usually lay in bed until I hear movement. Take toddler downstairs when she wakes up, feed her and play. DH comes downstairs, and I usually go shower. We settle in to watch football, unless we have specific plans (playdate, etc.) I usually take toddler outside to burn off some energy during a lull in the games; she snuggles with DH on couch for naptime. DH showers and then we figure out dinner plans.
Anonymous says
I have 3: 6 months, 2.5, 5.
Friday: DH picks up toddler at daycare and meets me at home, where I am with 5 y/o and baby. Whoever will hit the house first picks up pizza. Kids are all bathed and in bed by 8.*. Saturday AM: dad takes early rising toddler on Errands in the morning, often to Home Depot or the grocery store. They will typically get donuts. Other two get up around 8. I either sleep in or get up and sip coffee.
Around 9, I take 2-3 kids to the gym with me (baby usually naps 9:30-11 but sometimes not), they go to childcare while I work out and/or all 3 of us go swim. Sometimes both (eg I’ll work out then grab them and we all swim). We take forever and get back around 11:30. Sometimes we git the grocery store or farmers market on the way home. Usually DH stays home and has time to himself but if the baby cooperates and he wants to, he goes to to the gym with us.
We all have lunch. Toddler naps 1-3:30. Baby naps for 90 min somewhere 12:30-4. One parent hangs out with preschooler and the other does something useful (eg grocery shop, yardwork, whatever). We make dinner with the bigger kids helping. Bed.
Sunday we will do an activity (park/bike ride/pool/adventure). We time it so baby can sleep in the car if a big adventure or sometimes we have her take an early nap and the leave when she was up around 10. Luckily baby is a really easy going about naps (toddler is not and never has been).
5 y/o has indoor soccer Sunday afternoons so either I take baby and go to the game or I stay home with baby and napping toddler (baby is still nursing and this is all around easier). If it’s an early game, we try and all go because toddler loves watching and is a team superfan.
Sometimes we do our adventure on Saturday AM and the gym on Sunday. Sometimes we do the gym both mornings if all we do is lay around by the pool (summer). Sometimes we do an afternoon gym trip if my oldest has a tennis clinic (they are usually weekdays but sometimes we do weekend make ups and her lessons are at the same place we work out).
*baby loves her plastic tub so right now we rotate and do baby in plastic tub inside the big tub with one big sister in the big tub, then swap big sisters while baby continues to splash and giggle. Before, and still sometimes, the other two bathe while baby plays, or oldest will shower in the master while younger bathes.
Anonymous says
Oh, and sometimes I’ll take one and go on an all day adventure. Like Oldest and I will go into nearby Big City, toddler and I will spend the entire morning at the mall/playspace/chick fil a, or baby and I go shopping or whatever.
Pogo says
For trying new restaurants, we go out Friday night. We plan to leave our house between 5:00 and 5:30, so we’ll either meet at the restaurant or both leave work extra early to do pickup and get ourselves together for dinner. Three recent wins with our LO: casual Mexican place, hole-in-the-wall BYOB Salvadoran (it was mostly take out, we were the only ones dining in – which meant LO got to smile and wave at every person picking up their dinner!) and trendy ramen place downtown. Ramen was the trickiest because the place was LOUD, and they had no kid’s menu – we just ordered him plain noodles. But it was still surprisingly easy and since we went so early I didn’t feel bad that I was ruining anyone’s dining experience with my toddler. I also bring 1-2 snacks I know LO will eat and give them to him as we’re all waiting for our food.
OP says
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! All of this is so incredibly helpful. Actually have taken screen shots and will share with DH. I see tons of places where we can better optimize — e.g. DH working out first thing in the AM while me and DS hang (or vice versa), being flexible on 1 of the 2 naps being mobile, etc. I anticipate DS will be down to 1 nap in the next few months or so, which could make things easier, but who knows.
Of course, the next 3 weekends, either DH or I are on travel (work and leisure for him, leisure for me – first girl’s trip since DS was born! WOO-HOO!) , and then we start holiday travel so will have to apply the new strategy in 2019, but have this Saturday before he flies out early Sunday AM to do a test run :)
Seafinch says
I should have added that I generally stopped working out, outside of the home, this past year. I just cannot make it work. I get up early and do videos in the basement, M-F, and often skip the weekend unless I am following a plan, I never do more than 30 miniutes, so even if I am, I can wedge I it. I would run if my arches weren’t giving me grief, but I can’t wedge in classes or gym time anymore. Too many kids, too busy. Too much stress. My husband works out at work over lunch. (Both of us cycle to work for about 8 months a year, too which is 100km for him per week and 80km for me)
SC says
The weekend schedule that works for us*:
Friday night–relax. Movie night and pizza. No company. No housework. No lengthy discussions of logistics, but maybe float some ideas of what would be fun over the weekend.
Saturday–Fun morning excursion–some combination of birthday parties for classmates, trip to the park or zoo or indoor playground or whatever, and/or breakfast treat. Saturday afternoon, Kiddo has quiet time or nap, and DH and I do some work around the house. Saturday night, we usually cook a nice-ish dinner and often have company.
Sunday–I often wake up and make pancakes and bacon. We spend a lot of Sunday on laundry, cleaning, and errands. In the fall, things are different because we are big fans of our local NFL team and usually either attend the game (while MIL babysits) or watch the away games.
Breaks happen but are not regularly scheduled. Some weekends, DH will take Kiddo to his parents’ house on Saturday, and I’ll take Kiddo to the grocery store on Sunday. Other weekends, Kiddo will take a long nap on Sunday, and DH and I will both veg for an hour or two. Very occasionally, one of us is feeling extra perky or extra generous and wakes up with Kiddo and lets the other person sleep in.
We definitely didn’t do too many excursions until Kiddo was down to one nap. We still don’t go to museums, other than the Children’s Museum. We also don’t eat at restaurants with Kiddo very often, but if we do, brunch is our meal because Kiddo is so much a morning person. Date nights are very rare for us–birthdays, anniversary, and maybe 3 other just because.
*We bought a house a month ago, so for the past 2 months, we have been packing, unpacking, and working on either the old house (which we are renting out) or the new house. We haven’t followed our own schedule in months, and we’re all exhausted and cranky.
Anonymous says
I might be the only one who thinks 2 naps was easier, but for us it was– baby (now in preschool) woke up at 7, napped about 8:30-10ish, then we had 10-2 to go out and do stuff before the 2nd nap. On a one-nap schedule, we had to be leaving right away in the morning to be home by noon for lunch and 1 pm nap, which went until 4, and there wasn’t any time to do anything after 4 and before 7 pm bedtime. Currently preschooler does not nap (or even rest, really, without 100% parental involvement) and 3 month old is on 3 naps, many of which still require holding, so weekends are just trade off kids all day long until baby can nap independently.
aelle says
I have a 15 month old who usually naps once a day. We live in a dense urban setting and do most things on foot + stroller or by bike.
Saturday:
– DD up by 7. DH walks the dog and gets breakfast while I entertain her.
– Facetime with my mom, during which DH gets alone time
– Groceries and farmer’s market, with DD in stroller. DD occasionally falls asleep, in which case I roll her to a coffee shop and either call local friends to see if someone will spontaneously join me, or enjoy a quiet coffee with a book.
– Quick lunch at home
– Early afternoon nap – DD naps for one hour tops. Some chores get done.
– Late afternoon: family activity. Playground, walk, library, museum, or just unwind at home together
– DD goes to sleep at 7. This is the right time to get a sitter and go out together, although we also enjoy taking turns and going out separately while the other parent enjoys alone time at home (DH is more extraverted and does this more than me). We also often play board games or watch a movie.
Sunday:
– DD up by 7. DH walks the dog with the child while I tidy up and do laundry
– workout, which we also treat as social time. We either work out in a park, go to the climbing hall, or the pool, and take turns watching the child. Works really well as a get-together with our friends with children.
– permanent invitation for brunch at our place. This has worked really well to see a good rotation of our friends, both with and without children. We keep the food low effort (omelettes, fresh fruit, pancakes, deli stuff).
– early afternoon nap, followed by Facetime with DH’s parents. This gives me 2 hours of alone time, which I often use to cook / bake / meal prep (part chore part hobby for me). If DD is up early, DH takes her to the park to give me the full 2 hours.
– we don’t usually do anything else on Sundays! Just chill at home for the rest of the day. Read, play music, have dinner.
When we still had 2 naps, I could plan for one in the stroller, but it was honestly often too tiring to be out and about instead of unwinding when she was sleeping. I couldn’t tell you why exactly but it was much more tiring at 10 months than now at 15.
Anon says
I’m in the midst of ivf and this morning my doctor asked me if we wanted a boy or a girl. Due to family history, we did genetic testing on the embryos and have genetically normal male and female embryos. I didn’t realize I’d have the option, and it’s throwing us off!
We have a 2 year old daughter already. My husband would ideally like at least one boy and I’d love to see my daughter with a sister. We’d be thrilled to have 3 kids.
Would you do girl girl boy? Girl boy girl? Have you seen pros/cons to having same gender or different gender closer together?
Thank you!
AIMS says
I think this is impossible to “game” – you could have a better dynamic with two girls or less rivalry with a girl/boy. You won’t know until it happens because every child is so different. You could let fate decide (flip a coin? pick embryo at random?) or maybe just ask yourself what would be more important for your family assuming you just had two (I would be loathe to plan on either gender thinking you are for sure having a third because you just never know what life will bring). Good luck!
Anonymous says
If your husband wants a boy have a boy now. You may not have a third kid, seems fair you each get one.
Anon says
I would ask the doctor to select randomly. Selecting sex just feels wrong to me, and I think you could be setting yourself up for disappointment down the road if the child does not conform to gender stereotypes or identifies as a different gender (yes, I know this is unlikely, but it’s possible).
Anonymous says
+1. Or go for one of each now?! Do they let you do that? But I agree this is impossible to really control.
Anonymous says
If you are implanting two, I would implant one of each and let fate decide.
Anon says
When we did this, we just told them to choose the highest quality embryo (we did an elective single transfer.) I didn’t want to pick, it was too much pressure and I honestly just wanted to keep the experience as much like a “regular” one as possible (even though I desperately wanted a girl for some reason — now I’m so glad we had a boy.)
If we do it again, I might consider choosing a girl since we now have a boy already. But I think there’s no wrong answer here! Both options are good options.
Anonymous says
I have 3 girls and while DH wanted a boy, he looked at me like I had 3 heads last time I asked if he wished he had a boy instead. He is an excellent gorlndad and each of our kids share one of his big interests (one kid loves sports and sails with him, one loves cooking and one loves woodworking and tinkering on old cars).
Gift Etiquette says
Brother and I both became new parents this year. For Christmas, I’d like to focus on my new niece and skip the gifts for brother and SIL, and would like them to do the same. How would you go about having this conversation? We are friendly but not close.
CPA Lady says
I think what we did was text “hey, do y’all want to just do presents for the kids this year?” It went great, and we were all relieved to not have to buy presents for a bunch of adults.
KW says
This is what we did too. We framed it as, “let’s just focus on the kids” and it seemed to go over well with everyone. And yes, it is a relief not to come up with ideas for adults because let’s be honest, we all have what we need and can/will buy something if we need it.
RR says
Same. I think everyone was happy.
Anonymous says
Call your brother on the phone, suggest it, and ask what he thinks about it.
Anon says
Fingers crossed the text message will work. But if it’s like my in-laws, who love to give gifts, they’ll balk at the idea. Have some other options to propose – a “favorite thing” party or drawing names or doing an experience together or setting a dollar limit “so you can spend more on the nieces/nephews”. And if they care about those kind of things, also make sure to decide what you’ll do about parents. Include them in the experience or name draw? Buy a joint gift? Etc.
EB0220 says
Yep, we did this in our family and it’s been great.
AIMS says
So we did a dependent care account for the first time this year (2018). Our nursery school required payment for the year more or less upfront. But when I submitted for reimbursement my claim got rejected because it said “expenses are incurred when the day care is rendered and not when the participant is billed for or pays for the service.” I think this is because I put down the dates ending in 12/31/18, no big deal. I can wait or correct But here’s the question: I may be eligible to re-visit my contribution for next year, which I kept low because I wasn’t sure what our plans would be. Does this mean that I can use money from next year to get reimbursed for tuition we paid this year (tuition > 2018 set aside)? The helpline is not too helpful & I thought you all might have more concrete experience. Thanks!
AnotherAnon says
IME, I could not use dependent care monies to pay for past or future care. I had to use it or lose it in the year in which I contributed, for care during that year. I’d still call the helpline and ask though. Or reach out to an HR rep who might be able to tell you or get you the plan summary, which should specify whether the funds are use it or lose it.
Anonymous says
No. You need to pay for care using money withheld during the year in which the care is given.
AIMS says
Thanks!
Pogo says
I believe dependent care is use it or lose it, though you should have until March next year to submit for reimbursement.
As opposed to my health care FSA, the only money available in my dependent care was that which I’d already put in. So at mid-year I submitted for that amount and at the end of the year I’ll submit for the rest.
I don’t see how there’s any harm in not doing the maximum, though. Unless you live in a extremely low COLA or use very part-time care for some reason, the max contribution for the year only covers a couple months of care. I can’t ever see myself not using the full contribution (and taking the full tax advantage).
TEA? says
First, tea collection has free shipping today. Great news since I am never spending $175 on baby clothes in one swoop. Now I want to know about sizing. We’ve bought second hand before and things seem to fit baby pretty well but has anyone bought new stuff recently and knows how the sizing is?
octagon says
For us it ran slightly big (not enough to size down, but enough that you could get a lot of wear out of things).
Juniors Clothes says
Moms of older girls, where do you buy juniors size clothing? We adopt a couple kids for holiday gifts every year. This year we have a 15 year old girl who gave us her sizes in juniors. My go to is usually Old Navy, but it only has girls and womens. From Google, I see that Kohl’s has a junior’s section. But due to a horrific customer service experience, I have vowed to never shop there again. Where else should I be looking? Thanks so much!!
Anonymous says
Try looking at stores geared for teens – American Eagle, Aeropostale, Hollister, Forever 21, Abercrombie & Fitch, Charlotte Russe, PacSun, Pink by Victoria’s Secret,or Zumiez
Aprons says
Want to get Dad and (2yo) toddler matching aprons for Christmas… Any ideas for vendor?
Anonymous says
Williams Sonoma?
Cate says
Just bought these from Williams Sonoma – it’s a little big on toddler but totally works and super cute.
Anon says
This seems like an etsy order.
GCA says
That’s the cutest idea! I think my go-to for this might be Etsy?
Random LinkedIn requests says
I keep getting Linkedin requests from people I don’t know, asking if I can chat with them on various positions in my company and then refer them. I’m not remotely in a managerial or HR role – not looking to hire anyone – and this is getting on my nerves. I feel like a jerk because I imagine this is what they’re advised to do. But I don’t have time for this! Any advice? Do tell me if I need to just s*ck it up and if I’m being a jerk.
AnotherAnon says
I get these too. I just ignore/deny them. I find LinkedIn to be pretty all-around useless and I don’t connect with people I don’t know.
Anon says
Agreed, ignore unless you know the person or they mention someone you actually know and want to help (“Sylvie Smith suggested I reach out to you because…” etc.)
Anonymous says
+1 Depending on your industry, I might also be concerned about whether these people are legitimately interested in a job or may have ulterior motives to learn more about you or your company. LinkedIn is just another platform to socially engineer people for hackers/ corporate espionage, etc. I don’t connect with anyone I haven’t met, including recruiters.
Pogo says
I ignore. I also get a lot of headhunters. If I don’t actually know you, I’m not accepting your request.
OP says
Thanks, everyone! I will happily ignore future such requests. :)
Random LinkedIn requests says
I keep getting Linkedin requests from people I don’t know, asking if I can chat with them on various positions in my company and then refer them. I’m not remotely in a managerial or HR role – not looking to hire anyone – and this is getting on my nerves. I feel like a jerk because I imagine this is what they’re advised to do. But I don’t have time for this! Any advice? Do tell me if I need to just accept this and if I’m being a jerk.
Anon says
Talk to me about year-end gifts/bonuses for your nanny, especially when they’ve only worked for you a short time. We just hired a live-out nanny at the beginning of November and she’s been great so far. She’s with us about 35 hours/week. What is an appropriate year-end gift or bonus for a nanny who’s only been with you for a few months? I’m thinking $200 cash ($100 for each month she’s been with us), but I’m open-minded. What should we be budgeting for year-end next year, when she will hopefully have been with us for the full year?
buffyboy says
In NYC at least (thank you, Park Slope Parents survey!), I understand one week’s pay to be standard for a year-end bonus.
You could certainly pro-rate it for the portion of the year she’s been with you, but I tend to view year end bonuses for these types of relationships to be more forward-looking — i.e., building goodwill for the year to come. Personally, I think it’s always better to err on the side of generosity as long as it is financially feasible for you. Admittedly, just 2 months is a very short time period, but if it’s possible, I probably wouldn’t pay less than half of the week’s salary. But that’s just my own benchmark, and I can see why others might take a different route.
Anon says
+1. Great nannies are hard to find, so I’d err on the side of giving her a good bonus in the interests of keeping her happy. Keep in mind that she won’t be getting a pro-rated holiday bonus from her earlier employer, so it isn’t like she’s double dipping or something.
Anonymous says
This. If you do a full week’s salary for just two months of work, that may set expectations high for next year. I would do a half week’s salary.
Anon says
You could also just put a nice note with it saying that things are going so well so far and you’re looking forward to a great year, so you wanted to give her the same bonus you would have if she’d been with you the whole year. Or something like that. A gesture of goodwill but also controlling expectations.
Anonymous says
I consider 1 week’s salary standard for Boston, too. For someone who just started, maybe I’d do 1/2 week.
Mama Llama says
4 yo kiddo desperately wants “a pedal bike” for Christmas. She has a three-wheel scooter, which she loves, and a balance bike which she hates. (She’s had the balance bike for 2 years and never taken to it.) She really likes riding tricycles at school. I just called a local bike shop to ask about bikes with training wheels and got a lecture about how she will never learn to ride if we let her use training wheels and that she needs to master the balance bike before getting a pedal bike. Is this true? Should we get her a bike without training wheels and try to teach her on that? Keep trying with the balance bike? Ignore this lady and get the training wheels? Relevant info: Kiddo tends to be anxious, reluctant to try new things, and risk averse. She is also very stubborn.
AwayEmily says
This bike store person seems like a fool. People used training wheels for decades before balance bikes were invented and still managed to learn to ride! Even Daniel Tiger uses training wheels! Ignore this lady and get her a bike with training wheels; it sounds like she will have a ton of fun with it.
Anonymous says
Of course she will still learn to ride without training wheels. Do what you want.
mascot says
Buy the bike with training wheels. It’s what she wants and she will figure out how to ride a 2-wheeler in due course.
Another Midwest mom says
I’m sorry, but bike shop people can be SUCH snobs. Yeah, in theory, the balance bike “should” help her learn to ride, but if she hates it … what’s the point in forcing it? Somehow, all of us managed to graduate from training wheels to regular bikes.
Mama Llama says
Thank you all! The Bike Shop Lady was so vehement, she really had me doubting myself there.
Anonymous says
My now 5 y/o got a two wheeler with training wheels at 2.5. It was a 14” from target and was her reward for potty training. It took her a few months until she was really tall enough for it but the 12” was too short.
She got it in April and by midsummer was zooming. This past spring (age 4.5) the trainjfnwheels came off due to neighborhood peer pressure. She was wobbly and after like 3 weeks was rock solid. She was a huge chicken about losing the training wheels but eventually got over herself. That’s her personally, though. My younger kid is now 2.5 and already wants the training wheels off!
FWIW neither used a balance bike, your bike shop is silly.
Anonymous says
The bike shop lady must not have any children of her own. If she did, she’d know that it is futile to go against the kid’s preferences even when the experts say the kid is wrong.
Sarabeth says
Our neighbor is a bike shop manager, and his daughter learned to ride using training wheels. We skipped them, because I know my kid well enough to know that if she had them, she’d never ever ever want to take them off. She’d still be using training wheels 3 years later. It worked, but it was kind of a pain.
Labeling for daycare says
I’m getting ready for my LOs first day of daycare. He’s 3 months old and we are breastfeeding. I can’t figure out how to label his bottles and pacifiers — do I write directly on them? Am I supposed to buy labels somewhere? This seems like one of those things that should be really easy, but I’m a clueless new mom here.
SG says
We did a combo of blue painters tape (date) and Inchbug stickers (Name + Breastmilk). Each night I would write the next day on painters tape 6 times (bottle + cap)
Jeffiner says
Ask your daycare if they have labels. Ours provided white for formula bottles and red for breastmilk bottles. If they were out, we just used masking tape. I don’t remember how we labeled the pacifiers, we probably used a sharpie on the end. In a few months, it won’t matter. Despite the best efforts of the staff, mobile babies consider pacifiers community property.
anon says
Ask your daycare what they prefer. Mine wanted the child’s initials, BM or F, and the date (to be used). I used those little round sticker dots.
Legally Brunette says
Mabels Labels is great. We put our last name so that both kids could use the label.
Anon says
We used NameBubbles with our last name on the bottle and lid. Those stayed on through two kids using them from 10 weeks to 12 months with handwashing and a few sterilization rounds (aka dishwasher cycles).
Because it was breastmilk, the daycare gave us red labels to use where we had to also include full kid’s name, date, and amount. We wrote on those with Sharpies, slapped them on, and then peeled off at the end of each day.
Annie says
Name bubbles for name, masking tape and a sharpie for date and amount.
JTM says
We used regular old masking tape and a marker to start, and then we switched to clear labels that we could print in our printer. My husband was on bottle cleaning duty so he’d peel the labels off each night when he washed bottles, and then reapply the next morning.
Mama Llama says
We love labels from Namebubbles. They are pricey, but they really stay on in the laundry/dishwasher.
Brrrrr says
First-time mom here. I am trying to figure out how to bundle up my infant for the car in the cold weather we’ve been having. I know coats in a carseat are a no-go, but what’s the best alternative? Just blankets (on top of the straps)? I don’t want to use something so bulky that smothering becomes a concern, but obviously need something warm. Any hacks for this?
Anon says
7 AM enfant creates a ton of things for this and is having great sales this weekend.
CHL says
You probably want something called a car seat bunting or a bundleme. There are ones that go over the seat like a shower cap, or you can cut the back out of JJ cole bundle me to make it car seat appropriate. The Car Seat Lady has a tutorial on this I think. Congrats on your new little one!
Pogo says
JJ Cole makes one that ONLY goes over the top and is car-seat safe. That is what we used and it was very effective, even in freezing cold Boston. I was jealous of LO in his snug little bundle.
JTM says
Yup, we used this plus we had a little bunting suit for her as well.
Anon says
+2. We used the Jolly Jumper Sneak-a-Peak and loved it. It’s shower cap style with zippers so you never have to take it off. We just dressed baby as normal and knew they were snuggly and warm in the car or stroller. (We did keep car a little colder so they wouldn’t overheat in there for a long carride.)
I still don’t have a perfect solution for convertible or 5-point harness seats, though. For a while we did a poncho in the car and left a winter coat at daycare, but now with a preschool and aftercare (both go outside so long as wind chill is above 10*) it’s too easy to lose it all. Trying a car-seat-safe coat this year to see how that works.
Mama Llama says
How cold is your climate? In the DC area, we have gotten by with blankets, hats, mittens, and fleece booties. We bought one of those covers that goes over the carseat, but my baby hated it, and it never seemed necessary.
Anon says
We just do a fleece footie PJ and a hat. And then we blast the heat in the car. DH and I don’t wear coats in the car, so I figure if we’re fine without coats the baby is too (admittedly, she’s not a newborn).
Brir says
Re: car seat- car seats get so warm that I don’t think car seat covers/buntings are necessary- I am in MN and we have been putting our newborn in a hat, fleece sleeper with cotton onesie underneath (could also layer sleepers and take one off indoors), pre-heating car and then just a warm blanket tucked around her- she stays plenty warm for trips in and out of car. For prolonged time outdoor the car seat isn’t the best place for a newborn anyways- but what we have is a down puffy snowsuit (Columbia) + bassinett attachement for stroller that is pretty insulated and has a cover + a blanket if needed. She is very plenty warm in all that.
Anonymous says
You can also put her in a medium weight fleece bunting. Not the snowsuit kind. Old navy had them when mine were tiny. Add a blanket on top and you’re good to go.
Allie says
+1. Bear suits are adorable.
Em says
We live in a cold climate (Midwest) and my son was born in February. We had a carseat cover thing and I never figured out how to use it. I would just throw a blanket over the carseat and then use it to cover him once we got into the car.
Elle says
Help me with Christmas gift ideas for kid # 2. We have a 4 year old daughter and 7 month old (at Xmas) son. We have toys, puzzles, blocks, cars, etc. that baby #2 can play with. We have a lot of clothes and pjs. Help me with ideas for what we should get him and for ideas for others. I’m stumped.
Mama Llama says
I having the same issue with a 4yo and a 4 month old. I’m thinking something personalized with his name, like one of those puzzle stools.
Elle says
Yes, I just put a personalized name puzzle on his list! Good idea.
AnoninBigLaw says
A few new board books. Sure you have plenty, but believe me, reading them a 1000x extra for the second kid really makes you want new reading material, even with your favorites.
Anon says
I have a nanny starting soon. It’s a short term arrangement (3.5 months) to fill the gap before we can get into our preferred daycare. We don’t have a contract because I want to keep her at will, but nanny is well aware of the end date. We made what I think is a very generous offer, several dollars an hour above her last job (both her last job and her job with us pay on the books). What would you do about holidays and vacations? For the holiday (there’s only one, MLK Day) I’m thinking of telling her she can take it off unpaid or she can come to work as normal and maybe DH and I will go have a day date. We also have a long-planned vacation – I’m guessing we need to give that as paid time off, right? Any guidance would be appreciated.
Anon says
Since it’s a short-term arrangement, I’d pay her for the vacation but give her the option of taking MLK Day off unpaid or coming to work and getting paid.
Anon says
+1. This seems like a fair way to handle it to me.
AnonAtty says
Agreed.
Manageress says
We’ve been using the straw Take and Toss sippy cups for my 18 month old son. I want to swap them out with stainless steel sippy cups. He’s down to two cups a milk a day so I think this would be a decent investment. Any recommendations on stainless steel sippy cups?
Anon says
At 18 months, can you transition to a regular cup? Around that age, we moved to the “Better For Your” 8oz stainless steel cups. They’re on Amazon in sets of 3 and have numbers or colors on the sides. They’ve lasted nicely and are still being used with my 6 and 4 year old. If you need to do a sippy cup top, I would just get those silicone toppers to add to the cups, although I don’t have any specific recs.
We do have those camelbak bottles for each kid that I fill with water each day so they have constant access to water (and I don’t have to worry about spilling), and they use the 360 cups at grandparents.
Anonymous says
Have any of you worked with a more senior person who has kids whose manner of preserving her work-life balance seems to be to feed everything to you? I’m working with a partner who I was excited to work for at first, because she seems to do a good job managing her work-life balance, but I’ve realized these days that she’s doing so off my back. I guess there’s no magic to it, and I just need to push back as well as I can, so this is more of a vent about someone who keeps holding herself up as an example of someone who makes working motherhood work, when things are falling off the rails a bit for her working mother associate who is running her deals. Blech. Just feeling resentful.
Anon says
I work for male partners, but I definitely think this is a partner thing, not a working mom thing.
EB says
Yes, that is kind of one of the perks of pushing through to senior or partner status (I guess not everywhere, but definitely at my firm). I am not a partner, just a senior associate, but once I started managing the litigation, my work life balance changed majorly. And I know the partner I work for has it even better than I do and that he considers the “grind” to be something akin to paying your dues.
That is not necessarily helpful to you though. I think the answer to your question depends a lot on your particular circumstances and your firm. Maybe you could push back and it would go over just fine or maybe you would be seen as leaning out (or whatever it is called now). Is it possible to speak to the partner about it? If she is so pro-work/life balance, she should be receptive (hopefully!).
Anonymous says
That’s literally what being a partner is.
Anonymous says
Haha, touche. I’m okay if I’m the one managing it and I make my own bed, but it’s tone deaf at best to talk about how important work-life balance is for keeping our female associates and partners and then get on the phone with a client without me in the room and make a bunch of unrealistic promises that I am in charge of delivering on.
Myrna says
Agreed to it being tone deaf (at best), and really pretty unreasonable. Lots of partners responding here, it seems.
AnotherAnon says
I took off last week (unpaid vacation – contractor) and traveled with DH and 21 m/o DS. We had the best time. I’m back at work today and I just…don’t want to be here. It’s a good job, kind of boring; I’m six months in so I don’t really know what I’m doing. I’m not even sure what I’m trying to accomplish from posting this: advice? Commiseration? Tell me to suck it up and get over it?
Anonymous says
No advice, but if it makes you feel any better, I feel this way often. I have a good job, but my day-to-day typically ranges from uninspiring to stressful or annoying. I pep-talk myself with reminders that my salary pays for things I enjoy; the things I’d rather occupy myself with if I weren’t at work are generally not things I could afford to do if I didn’t work. So, a job is the means to the end, not a self contained place of happiness. It would be great if it were, but in the meantime I still need to pay the bills. If there are aspects of your job you DO like, focus on those until your vacation hangover has abated a bit. It’s always hard to come back from a week away.
I’m glad you enjoyed your time off, though!
Anon says
If it helps any, I think it’s totally normal to feel like this on Monday after a long weekend. I find that things start looking up once I’m back in the swing of things, but coming back after vacation or a break of any kind can be tough.
Anon says
Right there with you. Plus DH is a teacher with summers/winter break/spring break off, and I have the worst FOMO watching him and our kids go on all these fun adventures together while I go to work. I’m trying to find a freelance/flexible position that would let me work fewer hours when school is out, but so far no luck.