Family Friday: Sore Throat Pops

As school starts again, it means it’s time for random colds and other viruses to come home with your kids, and if you have a little one who seems to get every cold on the planet, then you may want to keep these sore throat lollipops on hand. If your kids are too young to use lozenges, these can be a lifesaver (and my little one is always sort of excited to get one). They’re available at Amazon as an add-on item. Little Remedies Sore Throat Pops

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  1. File this under "things I never thought I'd care about"... says:

    So our preschool already had a pretty strict policy on food: all lunch must be nut free and all prepackaged food must not be processed in a facility where there could be cross contamination. All lunch must include a note saying any non prepackaged contents are “safe.”

    It’s a pain, but I’ve learned which granola bars and bread are processed in but free facilities and which aren’t; I’ve made a “SAFe” card to keep in the lhnchbag, etc.

    All food brought in must be prepackaged, any fruit requiring cutting must be cut in their kitchen to avoid cross contamination. Ok, fine. I never sign up for anything that needs cutting (hello, bananas and blueberries).

    But this year, they stopped providing snack. And now, I have to provide a separate snack (not in lunch bag), labeled with my kid’s name and marked “safe” if not prepackaged. Just *one more thing* in this already annoying series of food policies.

    I totally get allergies. But whyyyyyyy can’t the keep giving my kid a handful of goldfish?! Why do I now have to either buy prepackaged goldfish that are in too-big portion sizes or fill and label individual snack bags every d*mn day?!

    My kid is also sad because she loved school snacks. So we’re gonna make a list of school snacks, get a few snack sized Tupperwares and label with her name and safe but still. PITA.

    • Anonymous says:

      That is so so hard. I have never ever heard of an allergy that severe that fruit that your child will consume must be cut in the daycare kitchen? And I say that as the parent of a child with an anaphylactic allergy to dairy. We worked through a bunch of safety plans so that the other kids can continue to have dairy in the classroom because we realize we can’t bubble wrap our kid.

      Some of the best advice on the lunch thread a couple days ago was to establish a set menu that works – it sounds like you’ve done a great job so far. But definitely a huge PITA with the note business.

      On re-reading your post, it sounds like parents send in group snack for all the kids? Have they thought of having the parents just send the food for their own kid?

      • File this under "things I never thought I'd care about"... says says:

        It’s BYO snack and BYO lunch every day, but for “special days” (holidays, birthdays, random days) one person brings in snack for everyone. The “must cut on site” rule is only for shared food; I can send in pre-cut strawberries for lumch/snack as long as she’s the only one eating them, thankfully!

        It just really grinds my gears because this preschool is awesome. it’s the best in our town, and probably a few other tows around. It’s completely impossible for 2 full time working parent families to send kids there without alternative (expensive) arrangements because they are at max 9-3pm and really more like 9-1. We have a part time nanny and DH and I have flexible jobs so we can make it happen but this is just ONE MORE THING that drives me nuts.

        This one is beyond the working vs non working mom family though; the SAHMs are all p*ssed too. They’re packing 2-3+ lunches a day for their kids and now they have to add in labels and invidual baggies etc to the mix. One woman was telling me that the middle school is nut-free, the elementary school is not, and this preschool is nut-phonic to the nth degree. And she has picky eaters.

    • Anonanonanon says:

      I’m sorry. My son went to nut free and jewish preschool, which meant not only did stuff have to be nut free but it had to be dairy kosher (and again, not prepared in your own kitchen). I usually ended up showing up with a bag of “cuties” (clementine oranges) to anything because I gave up on finding another snack to send in for stuff.

      The note business is a huge PITA, i’m sorry!

    • This seems a bit [nut-free] bananas to me. My son’s preschool class included 2 kids with nut allergies – both peanuts and tree nuts – and we did not have to jump through this many hoops.

      More helpfully: I bought a bumpkins zip top reusable snack bag (from Amazon, approx $5) for sending my son’s snack to kindergarten since they also said it should not be in the same bag as lunch. If you did that you could permanently label it as safe with a sharpie and stick a handful of goldfish in every day, right?

    • Anon in NYC says:

      That is just really frustrating!! I would be really annoyed that they stopped providing snack!

    • JDJDTX says:

      Everything has to be labeled for us too – I just printed out a sheet of labels with “Safe” on it and stick it on the bags. Since I prep lunches at the beginning of the week, I just label a bunch of baggies with a Safe label and a name label and then fill them up. It at least cuts down on the time.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Introducing solids question: DD is 6 months. We’ve been feeding her some purees/baby oatmeal at dinnertime for the past 3-4 weeks. Sometimes she eats more than others, but we’re pretty relaxed about it. I know she’s getting 98% of her calories from my milk or formula. Her childcare provider wants me to bring food in because she’s “growing and needs food”. To be fair – she IS in a growth spurt but I know that my supply to adjust to it. This idea to me is so antiquated because milk is more calories/fat than veggie/fruit purees or rice cereal, but whatever I can keep my mouth shut about that. On the other hand, I know that DD screams for food when she sees other people eat (especially another baby her age). Is it OK for her to have purees twice a day at this age? I don’t want to rush weaning her and making her eat food.I’m going to check with the pediatrician next week but I wanted to get a pulse on what other people do. For some reason I feel totally lost on how to introduce foods to a baby!

    • Anonymous says:

      Totally fine to have purees a couple times a day.

      Don’t overthink it. You can also just chop or mash up whatever you’re eating and let her have that. (add salt to your own plate when you eat it at the table, not when you cook as salt isn’t good for babies). It’s all about them learning different tastes and textures at this point.

    • Why not look up baby-led weaning? It’s a good way to introduce new foods to kids, especially different textures. Small pieces, as everyone has said, or pieces too large to choke on. No need to overthink it really. And it pushes you to vary your diet, too.

    • Yes, she can eat solids 3 meals a day – you don’t have to do it so gradually. At 12 months all of sudden milk is no longer “for fun” (I’m kind of joking because the idea that overnight your child’s nutritional needs change when they hit 12 months) and somewhere between now and then you need to ramp up, so you might as well start. Some families start at 4 months. In my limited experience solids did not hasten weaning at all – I think most babies have to be pried away from milk.

    • Anon in NYC says:

      It’s totally fine for her to be eating solids 2x a day (or even 3x a day). So, go ahead and send! I found that at that age my kid didn’t eat so much that she reduced nursing.

      Btw, I love that your daughter screams for food when she sees another kid eating! Hilarious.

      • Anonymous says:

        Yeh this is why we started feeding her. We had in her the highchair at dinner just as a place to put her, and then she started yelling. Like not crying, but just looking at us in the face and yelling. Apparently she does the same thing at daycare. She’s gonna be a talker!

      • Redux says:

        Our does this too! It’s a total social thing, he doesn’t actually consumer much of the food we put in front of him. We do a form of baby led weaning and just serve him little pieces or mushes of what we’re eating. Much of it ends up on the floor, but he’s happy to be included!

    • Anonymous says:

      Childcare provider needs a reminder in appropriate baby nutrition.

      Even if she’s eating solids 2 or 3 times a day, it’s not like she’s eating full meals – she’s probably getting what, a few tablespoons maybe? I think that’s fine.

    • Anonymous says:

      Check out “The Pediatrician’s Guide to Feeding Baby and Toddlers.” The recipes are fine, but best of all it goes over approximate caloric needs at various ages, suggests daily menus, has tables of what foods have what nutrients (so there’s a calcium table and an iron table), covers concerns like allergies, weight gain/loss etc.

      I will say they are not into Baby Led Weaning, so if that’s your jam, skip it. (Babies with food lodged in their throats need surgery after their tracheotomies! YIKES!)

  3. PregLawyer says:

    Start finger food! She will learn how to use her fingers, and can start experimenting with flavors. Six is a great age to start.

    • Anonymous says:

      I’m weirdly afraid of her choking? Like what if she takes a huge bite of banana and chokes? We gave her a chunk of watermelon and she tried to bite half off with her gums (no teeth yet).

    • POSITA says:

      You should be chopping the banana into rounds and then the rounds into quarters. Cut into pieces that are too small for her to choke. (Tip – Pick a still firm banana and it will be less slippery.) Mango, ripe cantaloupe or honeydew melon, kiwi, ripe strawberries, etc., also are fantastic.

      I always let my kids eat as much as they wanted and it was a pretty smooth weaning process. By 6 months we were at 2 meals a day. By 7 months I think we were at 3 meals/snacks a day. By 9-10 months we were at 3 meals + 2 snacks. Basically, between bottles, meals and snacks, you start to feel like all you do is feed them.

      • PregLawyer says:

        Other options are avocado (on the less-ripe end, so the pieces are firm enough to pick up) and small pieces of bread with peanut butter. I think they’re recommending introducing peanut butter earlier these days to try to fend off allergies (but confirm with doc).

  4. PregLawyer says:

    Kat – the reply button is not working when I comment via mobile. This is two days in a row. Just a heads up!

  5. mascot says:

    Anyone have suggestions for kid-friendly podcasts or audio books (kiddo is 7)? We are supposed to evacuate tomorrow morning and I am already dreading the terrible traffic.

    • Wehaf says:

      The Harry Potter audio books, either the Jim Dale versions (my favorites) or the Stephen Fry ones. Does your kid have a favorite book series? You can see if there are audio versions of those.

      librovox dot org has lots of volunteer-contributed books in the public domain, so if you are open to classics like The Secret Garden, Alice in Wonderland, Anne of Green Gables, or The Wizard of Oz it’s a good place to go.

      Good luck and be safe.

    • Anonymous says:

      Is kid ready for Harry Potter? Some 7 year olds are and it’s too scary for others. Fantasy is a good distraction when reality is scary. Hope you stay safe.

    • Mrs. Jones says:

      My almost 7 y-o likes the Origami Yoda and Jedi Academy books–maybe those have audio versions?

    • We’ve been getting audio books from the library for a few years, as we do a lot of road trips. The kids have loved all of the Roald Dahl books — they have good narrators & the kids love the stories. We’ve also had success with the Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle series, The Series of Unfortunate Events, EB White stories.

      Please stay safe! Good luck with your evacuation!

    • Good luck with the evacuation. Thinking of everyone in the path of the storm.

    • Anonanonanon says:

      if you have time (which you may not with all your evacuation prep) we found good audiobooks at the library on CD for free. We did “The Witches” as a classic and let my son pick out some sort of a ghost hunters fictional series. He was entertained by the audiobooks for 9 straight hours of a car trip we recently did.

      • Tfor22 says:

        I think at that age we enjoyed the Ursula LeGuin Catwings books on CD and My Father’s Dragon. There was one summer where we read all of the A to Z mysteries, several of them we listened to. I think the Judy Moody brother books (Stink) were a hit on CD as well, but again I can’t remember exactly how old the lad was at the time.

      • If you have a library card, check their digital catalog. I can download audiobooks, tv shows, movies, music and comic books on Hoopla through my library. I get 20 downloads per month with my library subscription, so it’s not super useful for music, but great for audiobooks and movies and supplements Netflix and Amazon for TV shows.

        When I was 7, I loved the Ramona books. Other childhood favorites were Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh and Matilda.

        No personal recs for podcasts, but this looks like a good list – https://www.fatherly.com/play/activities/the-best-podcasts-for-kids/

    • Anon in NYC says:

      Good luck. Hope you and your family stays safe.

    • mascot says:

      Thanks all. I’ll look at our electronic offerings for the library- all the physical branches have already shut down. There has been so much change and uncertainty in the forecast that we aren’t sure what is going to happen. 24 hours ago, we were going to be slammed (Ga. Coast) and now it looks totally different and we would be evacuating towards the storm if it stays on this path. Not stressful at all.
      And to everyone in Florida, I’m so sorry and I hope that the damage is minimal and that everyone is safe.

    • My 5 year old loves the complilation of curious george stories we have on CD. Other ideas: winnie the pooh, ralph s. mouse, maybe little house on the prairie, chronicles of narnia

      It looks like you can get a lot of these on Audible – maybe sign up for the free 30 day trial for this?

      Good luck to you and everyone else in the path!

  6. Anonanonanon says:

    Oh man, where were these pops a couple of days ago when I had a raging sore throat? I was using halls fruit breezers but was afraid to eat one while resting in bed because, knowing me, I’d choke. I should get some for next time!

  7. Prep for transition to daycare says:

    Hi all! My son is 3.5 months old and will be starting daycare in a month. Right now I feed him around 7am and then he takes his first nap starting sometime between 8am and 8:30am (I don’t have him on a strict schedule). Daycare is about a 15 minute drive away. Suggestions as to how to time getting him there? Do I need to try to get him there by 8am so he takes the full nap there? Sorry if this is a silly question – feeling overwhelmed and anxious about the transition. Also, is it better to try to have him on more of a defined schedule before he goes? Right now I try to follow his cues re: naps, feeding, so while we are on about a 3-3.5 hour cycle of eat, play, sleep, its not at exactly the same time every day. Daycare said that they will follow whatever schedule I want them to. Thank you!!

    • It’s normal to feel anxious about this stuff – the routine can be so overwhelming! Important to remember too that when they’re so little, things can really change quickly too. It might turn out that he starts doing his nap a little later like 8:30 or 9 as he gets a little older. Do what you need to do with your schedule and he’ll probably adapt. The only tricky part might be if he falls asleep in the car and then has trouble resettling, so you might need to decide to go on the earlier side at first. Having a 30 minute window where he generally goes down for a nap at 3.5 months seems amazingly advanced to me — don’t worry at all about getting it more precise. Also, daycare people know how to do this better than us and will be a good guide for you. Trial and error happens with everyone when they go to daycare, so make your best plan, observe for a couple days and then adjust if you need to.

      • PregLawyer says:

        I agree with this. When mine started daycare at 3 months, he had a loose nap schedule. They quickly got him on a schedule that we then used at home on the weekend. I think babies transition to only 2 naps starting at around 6 months, although some have three naps for a while. Anyway, the point is that he won’t be on whatever schedule he’s on right now for very long and nap schedules are pretty malleable anyway.

      • Katala says:

        Agree, very normal to feel anxious! My youngest also likes to go down between 8 and 9 ,but that only happens on the weekends. We just can’t make the morning schedule work for that, and even when we do get him to daycare at 8:00 he doesn’t go down right away. I know some kids do though (I see them sleeping when I do drop off!).

        I never had much of a schedule going, and didn’t give daycare any direction other than put him down when he looks tired, and his naps are very erratic at school. They’re not very scheduled at home either. And he’s fine. He could probably be more well rested some days, other days he takes a long nap and sleeps better at night. He’s almost 8 months and we’re hoping he’ll go down to 2 naps that are more regular soon. May try to collaborate with his teachers on making that happen.

    • My son occasionally fell asleep on the way to daycare. Since we commuted by stroller I couldn’t necessarily transfer him to a bed there without waking him. I think it was generally not a big deal if his morning nap got cut short; the staff I think actually usually would wake him up after 45 min-1 hour so he would take a longer nap around 1. (I didn’t learn this for weeks and never could figure out why afternoon naps were so much shorter at home). If he does tend to fall asleep and you have a bucket carseat you may be able to bring the whole carseat in with him in it and he can finish out the 45ish minute sleep cycle that way at least. I agree you don’t need to implement a schedule; daycare probably has its own schedule and will get your child on it to the extent they need to. Your schedule may be a little different at home on weekends. It will be okay!

      • My corporate daycare would not allow infants to sleep in their car seats. They could only sleep in cribs. I get why they had this rule, but it always killed us to wake DD up.

        • Katala says:

          My non-corporate daycare has the same rule. Carseats must go in the designated storage area.

  8. I tried to post this yesterday, but it got eaten.

    For parents of older siblings, what items do you purchase with the intent to pass them on to a younger kid, and which items are 1-kid use only? I have a toddler girl and a baby boy. The baby is wearing all of the toddlers old baby stuff, but I’m finding a lot of her toddler clothes are not in great shape by the time she’s done with them. She’s harder on her clothes now and of course she wears them for much longer than baby clothes are worn. I want to buy gender neutral stuff to pass on, and let her choose whatever she likes for the things that don’t get passed on. So, what do you buy to pass on? I’m thinking coats, snow suits, and PJs maybe? Sweaters and shoes/boots I’m not sure about. Tshirts and pants seem to be 1-kid wears only.

    • AwayEmily says:

      Following! I also have a toddler girl and a baby boy on the way. I’ve started buying gender-neutral hoodies, winter coats, and PJs for her (though I have noticed that the Carters footie PJs sometimes lose their “stickiness” on the bottom of the feet after a lot of wear). Am definitely interested in other advice.

    • Anonymous says:

      I have an older daughter and younger son. I do PJs in neutral patterns – dinosaurs, animals, astronauts, cars or solid colors. I also did snowsuits neutral until my daughter was 6 and started having more of an opinion on what she wanted to wear. I did snow accessories (mitts/hats) in traditionally male or female colors. I alternated buying snow boots in more ‘boyish’ colors like grey or navy and more girlish colors like pink.

      What I wasn’t prepared for is that my younger son’s favorite colors would be orange and pink or anything bright. So he spent last winter wearing his sister’s old pink boots after he found them in a closet. I wasn’t really prepared for him wanting to wear some of her hand me downs that were more traditionally feminine like a pink Sesame Street t-shirt.

      John Lewis in the UK recently relabeled all their kids wear to ‘Boys and Girls’ and there’s some cute inspiration on how you can style the same pieces in a more masculine or feminine way.

    • We have older boy/younger girl. We handed down the PJs (especially the fleece fitted ones & the Hannas) and some shirts/sweaters. We also hand down snow boots, but not shoes. And keep the snow pants as back-ups. Especially as the kids get older, they develop their own personalities on what they want to wear — by 2 daughter was totally dressing herself! And not in the plain blue shirts that was the only thing my son would where for two years….

    • I have an older girl and a younger son, 2 years younger.

      We’ve passed down:
      – coats, jackets, winter boots, rain boots, and scarves
      – hoodies and some sweaters
      – pajamas and shirts that were too small by the time we found them in our “too big” pile

      And that’s about it. I know that some brands have a reputation for long-wearing (like Hanna Andersson) but our problem isn’t usually the holes, it’s the dinginess from washing every week and the random stains from eating blueberry jam at daycare or fingerpainting day.

      And I’ve never every had a pair of shoes that held up to daily wear more than a season. Winter or rain boots that are only worn a few times a year? Yes. Otherwise, no.

      • Katala says:

        I agree with this. I have 2 boys, and some of the baby clothes were fine for a second use but most of the toddler stuff won’t be. PJs are looking pretty tired, so the stuff worn often will be replaced for #2. I’m trying to be realistic with what I would actually have #2 wear again when deciding to pack up or donate #1’s old stuff. When I pull things out, I don’t think I did a great job so far.

        We don’t need winter stuff where we live, but we do have light jackets and sweaters that will be good to pass down. I’d like to pass down shoes but those also get pretty worn and I think I heard it’s not great for their development to wear shoes broken in by someone else. Or I totally made that up.

    • Edna Mazur says:

      Probably not helpful, but I have three of the same gender, and I pass down everything. Middle kid is just now getting into toddler sizes and so far older sibs 2T stuff is in decent shape and older sib was only in 3T for a few months. 4T stuff may not be as hand-downable but clothes, car seats, high chairs, toys. All of it.

      • Redux says:

        I’m wondering if we just dont have terribly high quality stuff or maybe we have fewer things so they get laundered and worn more, but my kid’s 3T shirts/shorts/pants are totally shot!

    • Anonymous says:

      Do you have a friend you can trade with? I have a two year old girl and a six week old boy. My friend has a two year old boy and is pregnant with a girl. We have basically traded all (nonsentimental) baby clothing up to a year so far. Although I’ve also kept all gender neutral stuff from my daughter – but not gonna lie, there’s not much of it. I was and am a big fan of the super girly dresses.

    • I only have one child, but I do get lots of hand me downs from a friend with twins. I think some of this probably depends on the child, your standards for rattyness, and your circumstances. My son managed to get way dirtier at preschool than some of his peers, and his school had a dirt box that he took full advantage of, so we had lots of dirt-stained clothes. Some kids are more fastidious than others; my son would come home every day looking like pig pen. Also, dark clothes hide stains better, and girls’ clothes tend to be light colored.

    • Katarina says:

      I have two boys, but I have found that the pajamas seem to mostly be not in sufficiently good condition to pass down. Pants seem to fair pretty well, I think because they are less likely to get food on them. Also, the shoes are in adequate condition, but my younger son has much wider feet, so they don’t pass down well.

    • i have two girls, but we may be having a 3rd and it might be boy. Before I had #2 I didn’t know I’d have 2 girls so I bought “hand-me-down” items with the intent of passing down to a boy or girl. What I bought:

      Gender neutral snow pants/bibs, boots (all black for us)
      Some sneakers* (eg. a pink pair and a red pair– thinking one or both could serve as back-up sneakers for a future kid)
      Snow jackets- gendered but saved for a possible future girl in my family or a friend’s family
      select pajamas- we have a bunch of girly ones, but they wear quickly. When I buy holiday PJs or invest in cotton Hanna PJs, I try to pick ones that are neutral. And also, my older daughter loved dinosaurs so we have a LOT of dino PJs from the boys dept.
      bathing suits- saved good ones for hand-me-dowms; bought rash guards in gender neutral colors and patterns when possible.
      toys- NEVER get the pink ones! We have a red cozy coupe, a red bike, a red trike, etc.

      *I have a TON of shoes from my older daughter that my younger daughter can’t wear because YDD has hilariously narrow feet. Like, I cannot actually find shoes for her and instead have taken to putting extra thick socks.

      If I knew in advance I’d have 2 genders, I’d have bought gender neutral sunglasses (ours are all pink!), more white socks vs random hot pink ones, and fewer pink sneakers.

      • Total side note, but a life hack I’ve stolen was to only buy white socks of the same brand. Ever. If you combine all your kid’s laundry, then you only have to separate by size (so then buy the kind with the size already written on the bottom). Throw them all in a drawer and the two you pull out will always match. No more time wasted matching and folding socks.

        We buy the white ankle socks from Target with the non-stick puffy writing (of the brand and size) on the bottom. It’s been a total lifesaver. Those little patterned ones are cute, but #aintgottimeforthat.

        • Edna Mazur says:

          This is brilliant.

        • My sister does this too. I tried to buy my niece cute socks and she forbid it, which was hilarious because she is a super laid-back mom who otherwise has no rules.

      • Rainbow Hair says:

        My husband puts Kiddo in non-matching socks about 50% of the time. I don’t mind because it’s a funky look (and actually, how he threatened he would dress her before she was born) and also it clearly, clearly indicates to daycare/anyone who knows us that today was a Dad Outfit Day. So no one thinks I think that matches. (:

  9. Ifiknew says:

    I start working in a week and half. Our 3 month old daughter will be watched by my MIL and mom. My husband is home for another month as well with them.

    We started practicing the work routine yesterday, where I left the house for about 3 hours. It sounded like she cried so much. She cried for about 30 mins, slept, ate, cried again for another 20 mins, slept,and was happy briefly when I came home. They hold her constantly and try to comfort her but it doesn’t seem to work. I hate that she’s having so much trouble. She knows my mom, MIL, and of course dad, but she wants me anytime she’s not happy. She doesn’t really let anyone new hold her either :( I thought 3 months is too young for these issues.

    ugh, anyone else have these issues? It’s making me so anxious, despite my husband, MIL, and mom telling me it will be okay.

    • PregLawyer says:

      I’m sure it’s really stressful, but I also think it’s just a thing that happens to some babies! My son had a little girl in his infant room who cried all the time, unless one or two of the women working there was holding her. It was just her way. Fast forward to the 1-year old room and she was completely outgoing and comfortable. Your daughter will be fine. She’ll get used to your mom and MIL (and husband, if she’s not already) in your absence. It may be a tough transition, but hey – at least you aren’t the one having to deal with the crying baby!

    • AwayEmily says:

      Also, things can change quickly. My neighbors had a wonderful little girl who went through weeks of constant crying, and then weeks of total happiness. I think crying was just her way of working her way through her emotions and learning to deal with new situations. It’s really tough but I promise your baby will be just fine. She’s very lucky to have so many people taking great care of her, and this is such a wonderful opportunity for her and your MIL/mom/husband to bond with her. good luck!

    • Rainbow Hair says:

      Something someone told me once that really helped is this: sometimes a baby is going to cry, and as long as they’re being held and comforted by a loving adult, it’s OK. It’s OK (and healthy!) that she misses you and wants you. It’s OK that she’s sad you’re gone, especially when it’s a new thing. And it’s OK for her to cry, because her dad and her grandmothers are taking care of her. <3 <3 <3

      It will get better before you know it.

    • POSITA says:

      I found that my husband and the grandparents would often freeze up when the baby was crying like that and would get stuck doing the same thing that wasn’t working over and over. For instance, if you’re rocking the baby and he or she keeps screaming, then don’t keep rocking the baby. It’s time to try something else. My husband eventually asked for a list of options to try–I obliged. My list started something like, “If the baby is crying, try the following:

      (1) check diaper
      (2) offer bottle if more than X time since last bottle
      (3) try burping
      (4) put in stroller and take for walk
      (5) try swing
      (6) put in carrier and walk outside
      (7) bounce upright on shoulder in dark room with noise machine on
      (8) if painful cry, try gas drops and bicycle legs
      etc., etc.

      I figured that eventually the loving caregivers and baby would figure it out, but I wanted to give the adults strategies to try to solve the issue.

    • Katala says:

      I’m sorry, that’s hard. Every kid is different. My first was fine with anyone and #2 was “obsessed” with me (I thought that was a really funny thing to say about a newborn/mama, but it captured it pretty well!). He didn’t want to be comforted by anyone else at first. So I know, it’s hard and sad and definitely leads to mommy guilt.

      But she will be fine! It’s good for her to learn new coping skills and bond with other caregivers that love her. She won’t remember any of this and it will pass quickly.

      Could you ask them not to give you a play-by-play of her crying? If she’s inconsolable and you need to try to get home, fine, but hearing at the end of the day exactly how much she cried, if you can’t do anything about it, may not be productive. Hugs. You’ll both adjust, but it’s not fun in the meantime.

      • Yes, I was going to say that they need to stop telling you about her crying. It doesn’t help anyone here.

        • rakma says:

          +1. My MIL didn’t mention how much DD1 cried as a baby until she was about 2. It took a little while for everyone to get used to things, but once MIL found her own tricks (which were different than mine, and DH’s!) they were fine. The first few days are just hard.

    • Fo they know specifically how to calm your baby? For example, some babies like vigorous bouncing up and down–bouncing on a yoga ball is helpful–and rocking, swaying, patting, etc won’t cut it. Can you watch the happiest baby on the block DVD with them and let them practice soothing techniques? They may need to work out some things that work for them, which may be different than what you can offer (b**bs).

  10. Rainbow Hair says:

    Facebook is full of people posting pictures of their kids (similar age to mine) with big smiles holding signs that say “First Day of Preschool!” and it makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong/dumb? Like Kiddo has been in daycare… she transferred to the preschool room on her 2nd birthday because that’s the licensing requirement, and obviously we celebrated her birthday but there was not “First Day of Preschool!” really because it was just a daycare transition. And I don’t anticipate any real “First Day” until Kindergarten. Am I missing something? Or worse, am I making her miss something?

    (Is this just social media doing what social media does, and I don’t need to worry about it?)

    • Maddie Ross says:

      Haha. I totally did this, although my kid just moved across the hallway from one room to the other. It is technically “Pre-K” because it’s her last year. I mostly did it for myself though – I love all the monthly photos of her as a baby-baby. This seems like a sweet set of progression photos (as long as she’ll let me do it at least…).

      • Pigpen's Mama says:

        Same here — although I had just shared a bunch of other photos of kiddo on FB so I only sent it out to a few family members.

        I admit, I was all ‘whatever’ about the transition, because it was really just across the hall, but then then had a first day breakfast and I got a little verklempt.

    • Anon in NYC says:

      Just a social media thing! My kid is in year-round preschool. I haven’t done photos (and I also feel a little like, ‘am i doing it wrong?’).

    • It could be regional or even just individual school variance in terms and their significance, and those differences are highlighted on social media. In my area, “preschool” is pre-K and starts at 4 for most kids. It’s a big deal because it’s the transition from daycare to “school.” Anything before pre-K, we just call daycare. But when I was growing up in a different state, we called any toddler room “preschool” and didn’t use the term daycare at all.

      • To add, based on the posts above, most of the time, kids are starting pre-K at a brand new school. Even if they stay in the same overall school, like a private school that has both a daycare and elementary school, they typically get moved from the daycare building and playground and staff/faculty to the elementary school when they start “preschool” or pre-K. It’s a big transition for kids and parents, I’m sure.

        We didn’t take first-day photos of Kiddo being in his new classroom this year. (They all move up in August.) He was throwing a tantrum on the first day, and then we went on vacation to see the eclipse, and then a week later, we didn’t care. But I’d probably take one on his first day of pre-K.

    • Onlyworkingmomintulsa says:

      My kids have been in daycare and I never posted a “first day” picture until this year when she started Pre-K aka “big kid school”. I think it’s very much a social media thing, “First Days” are the pics du jour and in a few weeks it will be all pumpkin patch pics : )

      • My parents took an entire roll of film’s worth of “first day” pictures every single year when I was young. Clearly, there was no social media to post them on, but it was very much a thing to take them.

        I hate posing for photos, so in a roll of 27 photos, there will be 2-3 good ones of me smiling, and 24-25 photos where I am increasingly grumpy, pouting, exasperated, then crying. (Incidentally, we have the same progression through a roll of film’s worth of pictures under the Christmas tree every year.) Thank goodness for digital cameras so we can check whether we have a good one and move on with our lives now!

        • Anonymous says:

          I don’t know…3 out of 27 sounds like a good ratio! I once heard an interview with a National Geographic photographer and he said he expected to take 100 pics for every “good” one and 100 “good pics” for every one that got in the magazine!

    • Katala says:

      Yeah, I think it’s a social media thing and/or a “started at a new school” thing. For a lot of kids of SAHMs, preschool/pre-K is the first school-like program they do so that makes it a more notable transition (and IME those tend to be the majority of moms who post stuff like this). I don’t see myself doing it when mine moves to the preschool classroom at daycare, but when he goes to a new school for pre-K or K I might. You’re not doing it wrong!

    • Anonymous says:

      This is just social media. My FB is mostly working moms because that’s super common in my area. ‘First Day’ pictures are basically exclusively for Kindergarten/Elementary School. Any friends of friends posts I saw with something similar for Preschool were all SAHM for whom kid leaving the house regularly was a big deal.

    • Anonanonanon says:

      I was feeling guilty for the same thing except with my older one. We didn’t do a “first day of school!” picture for this year, because it honestly felt like any other morning? He is in second grade now, it’s the same school it’s been for the past couple of years, I leave the house in the morning before he and my husband are dressed…. so I don’t know. It just didn’t happen this year. I’m seeing all of these first day of school photos from parents with children who are even older and wondering when I’m allowed to stop taking them?

      • Grad school! Although that would be an awesome picture, and why have children if you can’t embarrass them when they are young adults?

    • I didn’t do any first day pictures for my daughter’s transition into pre-K. I honestly wasn’t even thinking about the transition to that room being a transition to pre-K until I got a supply list. And she’s my third kid–in this same daycare. I never would have thought this was a thing I should be doing until you posted and I have now pondered. And I have also now decided to not feel bad about not doing it! She will get a first day of kindergarten picture next year. :)

    • EB0220 says:

      It cracks me up trying to figure out what the class names mean sometimes! I usually don’t do the pictures unless it seems like a big transition. I took some pictures on my 5 year old’s last day of daycare and first day of Kindergarten. I think I took a picture on my 3 year old’s first day at her new building (her daycare has a building for infant – 2 and another building for 3-5). Switching is a big deal and they have French and other special things. No cute signs, though!

    • I did one with a sign for the first time this year when my son started kinder. I got the idea from social media so I assume everyone else did. I had my son write his own sign, and he picked the wording, so I think I will like having that to look back on since his writing and word choices are still very, um, emergent. And I wouldn’t have done it if we didn’t have some extra time to kill that morning. It’s like the monthly belly sticker pictures for infants – that never occurred to me in time to make it happen.

  11. POSITA says:

    I cheat. My daughter’s birthday is labor day weekend so she transitions at the start of a school year. Hence, good first day pictures as a young toddler.

  12. pants says:

    Any recommendations for brands of pants that might fit a very tall, very skinny 3.5-year old girl? We did okay in the past with adjustable waist pants, but this year everything I put on her looks baggy. We need a 3T waist and cut with 5T height…

  13. Ifiknew says:

    Thanks so much all. I’ve been asking them how she’s doing, so I need to stop. Ugh, it sounds unbearable for all if she’s doing this for weeks at a time, but she won’t remember. I feel so guilty about working and this doesn’t help, but we will all adjust. Hopefully it doesn’t take more than a few days.

    • Katala says:

      Of course you ask how she’s doing! And they should tell you. But they need to protect you from the details of her crying. Maybe recruit dad to tell MIL to please be more vague about crying stints? There’s a big difference between hearing “oh, she was a little fussy in the morning/after nap but we played X and she felt better” vs. she was crying for Y minutes, then nap, then cried for Z minutes…

      There’s obviously no way to guess, but I think most babies adjust in under a week. It was never more than a couple of days for my guys. I think it took me longer! She’s lucky to have a mama so in tune with how she’s feeling.

  14. Ifiknew says:

    Oops comment above was related to my question on our baby screaming with caregivers.

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