Washable Wednesday: Cap Sleeve Lynsey Dress

I didn’t realize that Hobbs has so many pieces that are machine washable! This dress is completely crafted from machine-washable fabric. The neckline seems flattering because it’s not too high or too low, and the darts and sleeves seems flattering as well. In general, it looks like a hit. It’s available in UK sizes 6-18 at Hobbs for $270. Cap Sleeve Lynsey Dress

A couple of lower-priced options are here and here, and here’s a plus-size option.

Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.

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Comments

  1. Hobbs can be a bit formal for my workplace/lifestyle but the quality is very good and they do have some interesting designs.

    • Anonymous BigLaw Associate says:

      I wasn’t familiar with this brand, but they appear to have things in my size based on the chart. Concerned about length. Does anyone know if length is generous or not? (I am avbout 5’11” and am not seeing tall size. But I sometimes wear regular sizes…short torso.)

    • Anonymous says:

      What type of figure are they designed for? I have narrow shoulders, full bust, and wide hips/full thigh and rear.

      I find british brands don’t tend to fit me, but I like this dress.

  2. Packing help says:

    We’re doing our first weekend trip with 3-month-old baby (plane, rental car, hotel) and I’m trying to make a list of everything we need to remember to pack. What’s on your weekend packing list (or what crucial thing do you always forget)?

    Thus far I have:
    -clothes: extra outfits, pjs, sweater, sunhat
    -feeding: formula, bottles, bottle brush
    -sleeping: pack-n-play, sheets, swaddle, pacifier
    -travel: snap-n-go, car seat, carrier

    • Packing help says:

      Diapers and wipes, too, obviously!

      • Pigpen's Mama says:

        I usually bought formula, diapers, and wipes when we got where we were going and would get a crib/pack n’ play from the hotel

        Dish washing liquid (whatever you use to wash bottles)

        A few extra light ‘swaddle’ blankets — very useful for the car/plane etc.

        Extra Ziplock baggies.

        (Non packing tips that I got from here years ago):

        Put an outfit, a few diapers, wipes, and a disposable changing pad in a gallon ziplock bag and use those for diaper changes on the plane (usually have a few ‘packs’ between my H and I).

        Wear the baby in the carrier when boarding, even if you’re putting him or her in a car seat – that way you have both hands free.

        • Anonymous says:

          Oh, thanks, dishwashing soap hadn’t made my list!

          I’ve been debating if it’s worth having to buy diapers and wipes or just packing enough, since this is only a crazy 48 hour trip. Unfortunately the hotel doesn’t provide pack n’ plays (my in-laws booked it without thinking about it and since they’re covering the room, it’s not worth fussing about this time).

    • My rule of thumb when I travel with my kids is that I want to carry-on enough supplies that if we get stuck in a random airport/hotel overnight without our luggage, we will have at least the bare-minimum of what we need. Practically, that translates into having an extra t-shirt and underwear for the adults, plenty of diapers and an extra outfit or two for each kid. I like to have the extra shirt for myself as well because blow-outs can happen on take-off.

      • Anonymous says:

        + 1

        I pack an extra pair of leggings, undies and a shirt for myself and shirt/undies for DH plus enough diapers/wipes/clothes/food for baby to last 24 hours. Large sized ziplocs are great for compressing extra diapers and clothes

        I separate the carry-ons into ‘expect to use on the plane’ (under seat) and ‘extras for emergencies ‘(bag in overhead bin). Hopefully the bag in the overhead bin is never needed.

    • anne-on says:

      I always try to take a thermometer and baby tylenol as well as saline spray, cortisone cream, neosporin & band-aids. Trying to find an open pharmacy at night in a strange place in case of an emergency is not fun – I also carry a small assortment of OTC drugs for grownups (advil/tylenol/anti-diarrheal pills/benadryl & allergy meds/motion sickness drugs.
      Your kiddo may have way less sensitive skin, but I totally decanted baby shampoo/body wash and eucerin lotion into the silicone travel tubes. I travel for work, so now we all have our own set of silicone travel tubes with lotion/face wash/shampoo/etc. They get refilled after every trip so we can just grab and go.

      • Blueberry says:

        Also, depending how long the flight is, bring the baby tylenol and a thermometer in your carry-on or backpack. I’ve never needed to use it, but can imagine few things worse than a feverish baby on a long flight.

        • EB0220 says:

          Definitely do this. I actually did use it once (1 year old + ear infection + red-eye in first class).

          • Packing help? says:

            You guys are awesome==I have adult meds on my usual mental packing list but hadn’t made the jump to baby tylenol and I can see how it’s one of those things where when you want it you really want it!

    • EB0220 says:

      I find that it really helps me to make a packing list with the following information:

      # Nights, # Days, Lodging (hotel, airbnb, family, etc.), Childcare (if any), Activities, Weather forecast

      This gives me a rule of thumb – e.g. outfits = # of days + 2, pajamas = # nights/2, etc.

      I definitely recommend obtaining diapers, wipes, formula (if needed) and inexpensive but large baby items (rock n play etc) at your destination via Target or Amazon Prime. You probably will want some dish soap to wash the bottles (houses have that usually but hotels don’t). I also bring baby medicine items as anne-on mentioned. For us: thermometer, baby tylenol, saline spray/drops, aquaphor, baby zyrtec (your kid is probably too young for that). You don’t want to need that stuff at 3 am and have to track it down. If baby will be on your lap on the plane, I like to bring a small receiving blanket on the plane…you can use it as a pad between your elbow and the hard arm rest, or use it cover baby, etc. (You can also ask for plane pillows/blankets for this.) One of those folding changing pads is really useful in the airport and bring along a bunch of ziploc bags (they’re useful for lots of things – soiled clothes, dirty bottles, keeping the clean stuff clean, etc. etc. etc.).

    • Bring an Ergo, Beco, or similar. We recently did the same thing when my baby was 3 months old, and she took two long naps on the flight in the carrier. It helped us to have all our hands in the airport, too, esp since she screams in her car seat.

      Small travel bottle of dish soap

      Ziploc bags for dirty clothes and bottles, dog poop bags for dirty diapers on the plane

      Disposable covers (like Chux) for changing baby on the flight so that if poop gets on the changing mat, you can just throw it away instead of having to deal w a poopy mat the next time you change her

      Wet wipes for plane

      Bring enough diapers and wipes so that it’s not an urgent thing to get to a Target or CVS to pick them up when you arrive

      Sound machine that can run on batteries that’s not your phone (using your phone doesn’t work if you’ll need the phone at any point)

      More bottles than you think you’ll need, so that it’s not urgent to wash them. Bring enough so that you only have to do bottle dishes once a day

    • Rainbow Hair says:

      When I’ve travelled with my kid — particularly when she was really small — I was astounded by how many outfit changes she went through. It seemed like way more than at home. I would say two complete outfits per day, if your luggage can fit it.

      • Packing help? says:

        Yeah, ours goes through days of alllll the spitup so we’re hoping to pack at least 2 outfits per day, plus maybe another spare.

        • We always had our kids travel in one-piece PJs. I found it easier to pack multiples of those and to change. Also, in the case of a major blow-out in the airport, there is no shame in just throwing the outfit in the trash.

      • Blueberry says:

        Oof, yeah, on our very first plane trip — to Europe, with a connection, sans partner — my 6-month old had a blow-out before we even left our home airport! Fun!

      • NewMomAnon says:

        I also like to bring a small container of laundry detergent – you can handwash clothes in a sink and let them air dry (or blow dry with the hotel hair dryer). Some hotels also have guest laundry facilities.

    • Anonymous says:

      Best travel with baby tip that I got from here a year or so ago is that when you are travelling with baby + partner, one of you gets on the plane solo first and packs away gear etc. Other person boards with baby last. That way baby isn’t on the plane any longer than they have to be. We have done this on several flights and it works great. My husband or are are literally the last ones on the plane with kiddo.

      • ElisaR says:

        this is a great tip

      • Lurker says:

        I loved this tip until I read the two scary United stories on the main $1te about the latter boarding person with baby being denied boarding and the airline refusing to tell husband that already boarded and had all of baby’s stuff.

    • Walnut says:

      I pack pre-made formula bottles so it is super easy to just throw on a nipple or pour into a clean bottle and go. If you’re bringing powder, have a water plan. Buy a couple bottles once you go through security and plan to pick more up when you get to your destination. I was always a little sketched out about using random water from the hotel faucet when mixing bottles.

      • Packing help says:

        Yeah, I’m thinking pre-made formula for the plane and buying water when we get there to mix with powder. Thanks!

        • Pigpen's Mama says:

          Warning on that. I’ve had to open up for testing baby food that was more than 3 oz at security and a friend has had it happen with formula (I think the rule is you can take more than 3 oz for baby food/formula, unsure re: opening it).

          I’d go with powder predispensed in bottles and add as needed when past security.

  3. I love this pick! And Hobbs is new to me – thanks Kat!

  4. Another travel question – husband and I live in DC and have 2 weddings in NYC in August when our son will be 5 months old. Before having the kiddo I strongly preferred taking the train to NYC to avoid traffic, but I’m at a loss now on how we would manage to bring all of his stuff and our stuff on the train and then get from the train station to the hotel on public transit (since we wouldn’t have a car seat for a taxi). Is it ultimately easier just to drive or are there infant train travel experts out there?

    • anne-on says:

      I’d drive if your destination has somewhat reasonable parking rates. If not, it might actually be cheaper to take the train and do same day amazon delivery of a pack and play/diapers/wipes/formula to wherever you’re staying.

    • Blueberry says:

      I preferred taking the train from DC to NYC when I had a baby. I think it’s easier than a plane or driving, all things considered. I don’t think too much stuff on the train itself would be an obstacle. I’d say take the subway from Penn Station to your destination, assuming you don’t have too much stuff. I hardly ever took my babies in taxis in NY. If the subway is not an option, you can get an Uber with a carseat.

      • Blueberry says:

        Oh yeah, after reading anne-on’s comment, this assumes you don’t have to bring a pack-n-play. Dragging a pack-n-play on the train and around town would be a pain in the neck.

    • Anon in NYC says:

      You don’t need a car seat in NYC taxis (it’s not the safest, but it’s not required by law).

      You don’t need that much stuff for a 5 month old – really, diapers, wipes, clothes. Ask the hotel to provide a crib. You can buy diapers + wipes in NY and just pack what you’ll need for the train trip and a few extras. If I were in your shoes, I’d try to pack your + your husband’s stuff into one large suitcase (larger than a carry on), pack baby’s stuff into a backpack, and bring the car seat + stroller or plan to babywear. Fold up the stroller on the train. I think you can do it.

    • Anonymous says:

      I took the train on vacation in Italy. We did:

      2 small backpacks (put my purse and ergo/diapers/wipes in mine, DH had Ipad and baby stuff in his).
      one medium sized suitcase
      one stroller with car seat

      We had quinny buzz stroller with the maxi cosi seat that clicks into the frame without the stroller seat. I popped the car seat off and carried it to our seats while DH dealt with stroller frame and suitcase.

    • I believe there is some major track work planned at NY Penn Station this summer that might Amtrak more hellish than in the past. I’m no expert on this but might be worth looking into before deciding.

      What kind of stroller(s) do you have? Where are you staying?

      • See https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/27/nyregion/amtrak-penn-station-repairs.html?_r=0

        Sounds like no concrete details are available yet, so not very helpful for planning.

      • Yikes, thanks for the warning. We’d be using a lightweight umbrella stroller. Staying near union square.

        • Okay, so it doesn’t sound like bringing a car seat would be particularly easy. If you take the train and want to schlep some stuff in a cab, and don’t want the baby in a cab without a car seat, you could also split up so one person takes cab with all your stuff, and the other takes the baby on the subway in a carrier, and you meet at the hotel. Or call a car service that can provide a car seat; I have used Eastern Luxury with success in the past, albeit in Brooklyn mostly.

          Neither train nor car is going to be stress free, so pick which stress you like more – dealing with crowds/public transit/schlepping stuff around, or dealing with traffic/parking/tolls and confined baby in transit.

    • Anonymous says:

      We did DC to NYC train trip with an 8ish month old last summer. I thought it was a great way to go, honestly, and I think driving would have been horrible. We got a pack and play from our hotel, which helped a lot as we didn’t really need much other gear beyond a diaper bag and some extra clothes for baby. He was on a combo of nursing and solids at that time, so no bottles or pump to worry about, which also helped.

      When you get to both train stations (there and back), check out the red coat service (Penn) or ask the person running the line (Union) if they will let you board early. Both did in our case, which was great as we could get first dibs on storing our baby gear on the train before everyone boarded. The stroller folded up and we stuck in the tall luggage area at the end of the car, and suitcases went overhead. I loved being able to walk the baby around the train when he got antsy, and move to the dining car for a change of scenery, etc. We brought our stroller (Cruz) and a Bjorn. When we got out at Union, baby went in the Bjorn, and we threw some of our luggage under and in the seat of the stroller. Whoever was wearing the baby pulled the remaining suitcase, although I am an overpacked and ideally you can pack little enough that you can fit it in the stroller or stroller + backpack to avoid the suitcase. It wasn’t a super great walk to the hotel but we managed fine.

    • Anonymous says:

      I’ve done Amtrak with an infant (and toddler) and it was nicer than driving, IMO because we could walk around, etc. I checked the PNP and a bag, which worked great. I had an ergo and a backpack.

  5. When you get a pack and play at a hotel, does it have sheets? Or should I pack my own?

    • EB0220 says:

      Definitely pack your own. Usually they don’t have a sheet.

    • I’ve stayed at two hotels with baby – one had a pack and play, one had a mini-crib (so the same size sheets). They both came with sheets, but I’d definitely bring one just in case.

    • IME they often give you regular (giant) flat sheets to wrap around the mattress. So if you don’t want that, bring your own.

    • anne-on says:

      I just have to share a very cute story – my boss brought his wife and 1-.5-yr old to a work event we were hosting in the 4 Seasons. Obviously, a very high end hotel, but when he requested a crib they not only sent one up for the room, but also filled it with books/stuffed animals for his daughter, and sent up a special plate of cookies and milk for her every night – so adorable!

  6. Wish me luck internet friends! I’m in biglaw but have an interview with a nonprofit today. Will try not to out myself but I would love to make a move at some point and this could be the moment!

    Any favorite interview tips??? I’m frantically researching the organization now, but really am just going to try to be myself and hopefully we are a good fit for each other.

    • Oh best of luck!! For a bit of inspiration, I like to think of my very own Starbucks Hank Commercial with every interview. Watch it on you tube. It’s the best!

    • PatsyStone says:

      Yay, you’ll be great. I like to think of interviews as my special day to talk about me- how lucky are they?!

    • Rainbow Hair says:

      You’re going to do great! Bring lots of confidence, and be your best, friendly self! So much of what they will need are skills that are probably second nature to you — the details about the company (though of course you should educate yourself as much as you can now!) will be stuff you learn as you go. I hope you like each other! *pompoms!*

  7. Bedwetting Advice Please says:

    Any tips on helping an 8 y.o.bedwetter learn to stay dry? My grandson lives with me & wets the bed more often than not. Pediatrician says no medical issues. This has been ongoing since he was first potty trained. His mom & I are at wits end.

    • Anonymous says:

      Put him in diapers — small adult ones or extra large kid ones. No liquids 2 hours before bedtime, wake him up at midnight to pee, and try putting pee pads on his bed in addition to the diapers to catch leaks.

      How does he act about it? Sometimes this is a symptom of constipation (which, in kids, can be very mild and still affect their bladder).

      • Bedwetting Advice Please says:

        We recently gave up the diapers because be was dry 99% of the time, and we do use the bed pads. Also no liquids before bedtime, probably less than 2 hours before because dinner is usually 6:30ish & bedtime is 8 pm. I will try waking him when I go to bed around 11 (mom is asleep long before that). He doesn’t seem concerned at all.

    • Anonymous says:

      My understanding is that this isn’t something that can be learned, it’s a matter of waiting it out until he grows up and out of it.

      • Bedwetting Advice Please says:

        That’s my understanding too, but wonder at what age does it become a real concern that he has not outgrown it?

        • You could also get a second opinion from a urologist.

        • Not 8. My 9-year-old son still periodically wets the bed (he wears Goodnights), and the pediatrician indicates no cause for concern. It’s not something they can learn. Some kids’ bodies just don’t get there as quickly.

      • Marilla says:

        I have heard this too. If the pediatrician is not concerned then I would wait another 6 months and reassess then before worrying.

    • Anonymous says:

      When I was about this age and still occasionally wetting the bed my mom made what we called “buzzer britches.” Some kind of moisture sensor that tucked in a pocket in my underwear and attached to a buzzer that was velcro’d to the shoulder of my PJs. I haaaaated them . I don’t know if the buzzer waking me up helped, or if I was just so indignant that I stopped bedwetting, but either way it worked. I’m pretty sure my mom rigged that up herself, but there might be a similar product you could buy ready-made.

      • anonymama says:

        This is hilarious, and ingenious. (Also I think it’s all a matter of how deeply kid sleeps so I don’t think there is all that much you can do.)

    • Anonymous says:

      I would avoid the big kid diapers. Layer the bed with a couple layers of mattress protector and sheets. Three layers should be enough and you can use crib sized protectors if he’s in a twin bed. Put a laundry hamper in his room. If he wakes up wet at night, he can just strip his pyjamas and the top sheet/mattress protector, toss in the hamper and go back to sleep. That way you and his mom can sleep through the night.

      This may help encourage the connection between needing to pee and waking up wet. Disposable diapers are so absorbent these days that it’s understandable he doesn’t even feel it when he starts to pee. It won’t instantly stopping the bedwetting but he will feel it more than if he was in diapers which might help him start to wake up more when he first starts to pee a bit which over time might help reduce the bedwetting. I wouldn’t frame it as a punishment or anything. Just that mom and grandma need sleep too and this way he can deal with it himself like a big kid.

    • shortperson says:
    • Anonymous says:

      Based on the experiences of my friends, I’d say 8 is still within the range of healthy children wetting the bed. My bets are that he’s a heavy sleeper by nature.

      Limit fluids in the two hours before bedtime and have him use the bathroom before bed.
      Take him to the bathroom before you/mom go to bed (wake him up).
      Get a bedwetting alarm.
      Put underwear on under a pull up/diaper so that he feels wetness without the mess.
      Ditto others to layer the bed with absorbent pads for easy bedding changes.

  8. Did anyone ever get what felt like a side stitch (like you’d get from running) later in pregnancy?

    I’m guessing it’s just baby pressing on my internal organs now that he’s bigger/uterus is higher up in abdomen, and stretching/yoga is the only thing that will help. I just had to sit for a two hour meeting, so I’m blaming that…

    • This sounds familiar. I blocked out a lot of that period. If you are at all concerned, just call your doctor! But I definitely had side pains I think because of where my kids liked to hang out.

    • Yes. I woke up once and was going to turn onto my other side, but then it felt like a charlie horse in my abdomen (also get them more frequently in my legs during pregnancy), and it was like “ok, nope, not rolling over so quickly, need to move a little slower.” Sitting for that long also generally doesn’t feel great. When I’m in my office I really need to get up and stretch/walk at least every hour or things are generally uncomfortable. Of course call your doctor if you’re worried.

      • Anonymous says:

        If you’re getting more charlie horse type cramps, up your potassium intake a bit.

        • Anonymous says:

          Yup, making an effort to have a banana and/or a glass of coconut water a day helped a lot with this.

          • NewMomAnon says:

            Potatoes actually are a much better source of potassium than bananas! Baked potatoes or even some brands of kettle-cooked potato chips are a great source of potassium.

          • rosie says:

            Thanks for the extra excuse to eat chips :)

    • Chi Squared says:

      If the pain is in the upper right quadrant (around/just under your rib cage), please mention it to your ob. Upper right quadrant pain is one sign of HELLP syndrome, which can come on suddenly, and is a serious and life-threatening condition. I had a dull pain under my right ribs for over a week starting at ~35 weeks. It would ease if I sat up straight or arched my back. I thought it was just the baby jammed against my ribs, but in fact it was my liver failing. :-\

      • I agree you should get it checked out, but know that this pain isn’t necessarily HELLP either – I had similar pain at 32 weeks and rushed to the doc, but it turns out the baby was pinching a nerve near there.

      • Wow, good to know. I will definitely mention to my OB just in case.

        It got a lot better after I was able to move around and stretch. Two hour meetings first thing should be illegal.

    • Yes, I got it a lot during my twin pregnancy. It felt like a really painful stitch in my side. My OB said it was round ligament pain. It wasn’t a concern–just really painful for a few minutes every time it happened.

  9. Just because there is a travel vibe today, I will share my upcoming (crazy) flight:
    LAX to ATL departing at 10:30am….solo with a lap 1.5 y/o.
    Yes, I know what how awful this could be. Yes, I’m terrified.
    I’m a little less worried about the 7:30pm flight home because I’m counting on her sleeping in the Tula.
    God bless us, everyone.

    Love the dress, btw.

    • Anonymous says:

      Good luck!! When I flew solo from JFK to Florida with my then-1.5-year-old, I got a “cease and desist” notice from the flight crew (on JetBlue) because my daughter was standing between my legs periodically during the flight. That was the only way I could keep her still, and I was holding her, but she was just learning to walk and was SO excited about standing up.

      • I didn’t know about cease and desist notices…oh my. Mine is already running….I just hope all the stickers and food and toys and screen time will last.

    • Butter says:

      Good luck!!

      When did people start buying seats for their littles? We’ve flown several times with ours in our lap, but as we’re approaching the 17-19 month age for upcoming flights I’m wondering if we should switch to buying a seat. But then I look at the ticket prices and think lap4life.

      • I bought a seat for Kiddo when I traveled solo with him at 13 months. We had to connect, and each flight was about 1.5 or 2 hours, and the door-to-door time was about 8 hours. It definitely made the trip much, much easier.

        But, we recently took a family vacation where we did not buy Kiddo a seat 1-2 weeks before his 2nd birthday. DH was there to help, and we took a direct flight that was only an hour and 10 minutes air time. We also flew Southwest and calculated (correctly) that on the return flight we’d probably be able to use an empty seat between us. (Turns out that when there are empty seats on the plane, nobody will take the middle seat next to a toddler.)

        • Maddie Ross says:

          This is my favorite SW trick. If the flight isn’t full, you can always get a seat for your lap child. Nothing makes my stomach drop like the announcement that the flight is full when flying with a LO.

          • We’re flying Southwest home. So, I’ll cross my fingers for an empty seat!

          • In my experience, if you carry your FAA-compliant car seat with you on SW and there are empty seats, the flight attendants will tell you before boarding that you can take the extra seat for the infant and car seat. This works great for infant car seats that snap into strollers, and you can gate-check both of those (there are weight restrictions on the strollers, and the strollers have to fit through TSA’s x-ray machine).

            On the last family vacation, when Kiddo was almost 2, we left the car seat at home. Kiddo is too big for the infant car seat, the current car seat is too big for the plane, and we were visiting my parents, who purchased a car seat for a separate visit a long time ago. We weren’t offered an empty seat, presumably because we didn’t have a proper restraint. But we sat in the aisle and window seats, with Kiddo in DH’s lap, and Kiddo’s presence was a sufficient deterrent against anyone taking the middle seat. DH had to hold Kiddo for takeoff and landing, but the extra space was really nice.

      • We’ve always bought a seat for our kid. Her first flight (about 2.5 hours) was at 9 or 10 months and second flight (cross-country) was at 11 months, and we brought a carseat on board for both. We then didn’t fly with her again until she was 22 months, at which point she hit the height and weight requirements for a CARES harness and we were flying to see family that had extra carseats on their end. We did this for a few reasons – (1) my dad worked in the airline industry and after hearing stories, I’m super paranoid about safety on takeoff and landing (yes, I realize risks are greater in a car than a plane, etc., but I just don’t understand why FAA requires us to secure a PURSE but not a human being), (2) for those early trips, we needed a car seat at our destination anyway, (3) there was no way our shorter trip could have lucked out with an extra empty seat on the plane given the destination, and (4) there was no way my particular kid would have gotten much sleep, if any at all, at 11 months just being held, which was non-negotiable for a cross-country trip.

        • re “I just don’t understand why FAA requires us to secure a PURSE but not a human being” – they did the math. So many more people would drive than fly (due to cost) if they had to buy a seat for the baby that more babies would be injured/killed this way, since driving is so much more dangerous than flying.

      • Not until I was forced to (age 2)!

      • Not till we had to (age 2). And our kid is enormous. A 30lb lap child isn’t that fun, b that extra $600+ roundtrip just was not in the budget. Now that we have to buy a seat, we also have to travel less.

  10. Ugh, maybe lice? says:

    So this morning while brushing my daughter’s hair I swear I saw a louse. That said, I have no experience with them, so this is just a guess based on the fact that she’s in daycare and some panicked googling. What do I do??? Googling it is overwhelming. Wise ladies, tell me what is the best course of action. I’m treating her no matter what. Even if what I saw was just a gnat that happened to land there.

    • It sounds like you’ve already decided on a course of action, so not sure what guidance you want.

      If I were you, I would ask at daycare if they’ve had any lice reported in the last few weeks. I’d also do a thorough lice check tonight on everyone in your household. If you want to be on the safe side, stop by the drugstore and pick up medicine to have on hand – just talk to the pharmacist and they can help you find the right OTC stuff for your kid’s age and yourself. But don’t treat unless you actually see a louse, that stuff is dangerous so you don’t want to use it if you don’t have to. They might also have a lice comb to help you do a real lice check.

      • Ok, fair point. I guess I should restate – I’m open to suggestions on handling and won’t treat unless that seems to be the best course of action. I already bought a lice comb on my way in to work and will plan to use that tonight and wash bed linens. But beyond that, I guess what I’m asking is: what’s the best course of action? OTC treatment? Do I need to call the ped? Can I just cover her head in mayo (isn’t that what they did on the Brady Bunch?)?

        • Meg Murry says:

          The lice combs are pretty much the most effective part of the OTC treatments – the shampoos don’t kill all lice, some are resistant to it.

          Follow the instructions that came with the comb (section her hair, and comb through in small sections, checking the comb after each pass). If you don’t find any lice or nits, you were probably mistaken this morning. If you do find them, you should probably move on to the OTC treatments plus comb-outs according to the schedule on the treatment bottle or comb packaging. Put her hair into tight twists or braids for a little while – when there was a lice outbreak at our school pretty much all the girls were wearing coconut oil greased braids as a precautionary measure.

    • Anonymous says:

      Yeah if you’re not sure, don’t use the anti-lice shampoo. Lice are becoming resistant and it’s pretty toxic.

      You can smother the lice and their eggs with daily applications of mineral oil (I don’t know if vegetable based oils are thick enough). Baby oil gel is my favorite.

      Wash everything that comes in contact with kiddos head: brushes and combs in the dishwasher, etc.

    • Anonymous says:

      Depending on her age/ability to sit still, the bathtub and an iPad are great additions to that lice comb if you have to do this indoors.

      Set up kiddo in the bathtub with ipad set on small stool outside the tub. I found it easier to just get in the tub myself too. Use a generous amt of conditioner for the combing; you can always use oil later.

      I had a separate small bucket with water set off to the side to rinse the comb; that way you can tell if there is anything coming off the comb.

      Listerine rinse to finish. I left some diluted listerine in kiddo’s hair overnight as apparently the smell deters lice.

      Tea tree oil is said to be a deterrent, too. Both this and Listerine can be used in small/diluted quantities and probably farther from your daughter’s face.

      Good luck!

      • Legal Cancuk says:

        Aside from shaving her head.

        Comb, If you see them. Smother with Mayo (it smothers them. Wash with with Peppermint shampoo and Tea tree oil.

        Lice do not like peppermint. The shampoo my kids use is the ladybug brand (peppermint & tea tree).
        I would also wash bedclothes in HOT Water.

  11. Is there a way to push back on being totally inundated with tasks at work? My “team” is in a big push for a deadline two weeks out. I was told last week that I was to clear my entire calendar and only focus on this task, but the problem is my boss keeps piling other things on me at the same time. Honestly, this task alone is probably enough work for 2-3 people and I’m totally drowning. I come in every morning determined to work hard and get it done, but, for example, this morning boss has already asked me to order lunch for tomorrow, order new office supplies, and print a bunch of documents. I do them because, hey boss asked, but now half the day is gone and I haven’t even gotten to big important looming deadline related tasks. I just don’t know how else to say to boss that I can’t keep doing everything. And this just keeps happening every day. It doesn’t help that husband has been traveling and is also totally inundated at work so things at home have been stressful. Normally (prekids) I would just stay late every night and get stuff done, but I have a hard stop to get kids from daycare. I’m getting to the point where I just don’t know if I can do this job anymore and have a family.

    • What industry do you work in? I ask because the tasks you mention–order lunch, order new office supplies, print documents–are 100% administrative tasks. I understand that some industries and sectors (non-profit) are different, but even then, I would be very worried about spending an entire morning on admin tasks instead of doing substantive work on which you will actually be judged. In short, you have to find a way to delegate–down, across, or back up.

      • So without outing myself, I work in a type of consulting. I am typically a middle manager and have a staff of 5-6 people under me, but boss and I are starting up a new project on a client site and have no resources other than ourselves.

      • It sounds like this isn’t Jdubs’ issue, but I’ve also found as a young-ish woman, these things get delegated to me by admins themselves sometimes. I don’t like it because I never see men – older or younger – being asked to order lunch or deal with office supplies, but somehow it’s OK for me to be asked to do this.

        sorry to hijack… hit a sore point for me!

        • Jdubs says:

          Oh totally agree… I know I get hit with a lot because of being a women and also being competant. Sounds silly but you don’t get asked to order lunch if you screw it up every time.

    • EB0220 says:

      You must set clear expectations. Repeat as needed: “Boss, I was asked to clear my calendar to focus on completing X task by Friday. If I need to also complete Y, I’ll need to push the completion date of X to Monday. What would you prefer?” Repeat ad nauseum. Don’t talk about daycare pickup or kids or anything, just focus on the message that you can only complete X task by Friday (or whatever date) as previously agreed. I would go so far as to set an out of office message on my email “I’m heads down on X, I will check email twice a day at 11 am and 4 pm.”, sign off of any messenger service and close the door. People often do this at my company FWIW.

      • Jdubs says:

        I’ve been trying but the open office layout is working against me. When I make a statement like you suggest I get a response that is like oh well this new task is so small just get it out of the way and you will be fine.

    • Who told you to clear your calendar? Was it your direct boss or someone above him/her? If it was him/her, I like EB0220’s advice, but if it was someone else, you might need to get assistance from that person – or a clear reminder to boss that someone senior told you to clear your calendar.

    • NewMomAnon says:

      Consider some project management; make a checklist of every deliverable you need to pull together, and a Gantt chart showing your timeline. Update it and share it with your boss every morning – “Hey boss, fyi, this is what I’m working on today. Made so much progress yesterday/didn’t quite hit my targets yesterday/deep in the weeds need help ASAP/can’t reach John about X issue can you intervene?”

      Be honest if you’re worried about a deadline, rather than trying to seem calm when you’re scared. Sometimes people assume you can take on more work if you seem cool and collected, but they’ll back off if they know you’re worried.

    • Anonymous says:

      Manage up. Who told you to focus on Big Task? Was it boss? supervisor? Boss’ boss? If it’s anyone other than boss, say Please go through X to assign me any tasks not related to Big Task, X said that should be my sole focus this week.

      If it’s boss, just ask, Do you want me to do that before or after I do Specific Part of Big Task? Then keep repeating that question whenever he assigns something else. Then at the end of the day, pop your head in and say I completed X, Y and Z today but only got through A.1 on Big Task. I’m going to work on A.2 tomorrow. Do you have any suggestions on A.2?

  12. Onlyworkingmomintulsa says:

    Can anyone recommend a hair gel for a toddler boy? My little guy’s bangs look so cute when they are brushed to the side and I would like to see if a small bit of product will help them stay there.

    • Search Amazon for Tigi Bed Head Wax Stick. I use it on my 1.5 year old son every morning to get his cowlicks to lay flat. It lasts until nap time.

  13. Undies help says:

    I’m 8 months pregnant and starting to get wedgies from my current underwear. Any recs for cheap, comfortable, granny undies? I was thinking of going to Costco because I think my unglamorous, practical mom buys hers there….

    • I just bought a couple packs of cotton Hanes in the next size up and it worked well for me!

    • NewMomAnon says:

      I liked the Gilligan and O’Malley ones from Target – they were really stretchy, so they grew with me. But they are synthetic, so they tended to smell when I sweated (which was always as a pregnant woman).

    • I ended up buying maternity underwear from Motherhood Maternity (foldover maternity style). I thought maternity underwear was silly with my first pregnancy and only bought larger sizes of what I’d already had, but these MM ones are much more comfortable. I think I was actually able to get a better deal on them at Macy’s than at MM.

  14. Hello CMomHive. I’m about to join your ranks in three months (due in August.) I’m having trouble dealing with the weight gain from a psychological standpoint–I’m watching what I eat and exercising plenty, but it’s hard to see the scale go up significantly no matter what I do. My OB told me to try to reel in my weight gain rate to 0.5 lb/week and it’s just not happening (she also told me to drop my carbs to 150 g/day, which pre-pregnant me would have lost weight doing, so I’m just refusing to do that at all.) I’ve gained 1 pound per week for a total of 26 pounds thus far and started out pregnancy at 5’6″/165 (I put on a few pounds with IVF that wouldn’t come off prior to embryo transfer.)

    On the one hand, I see the need to continue monitoring what I’m eating and the rationale for keeping my weight gain down, but on the other hand, I feel like pregnancy has taken away many of the things I used to enjoy (sushi, alcohol, running/hiking, etc.) and am unwilling to “diet” anymore at this point. If anyone has any pointers or advice for me on how to handle this, I would greatly appreciate it–thank you in advance!

    • Anonymous says:

      How much water are you drinking? I was so thirsty during pregnancy but often hunger and thirst can feel the same. Try drinking a glass of water first when you feel hungry and that might help. Luckily with spring/summer you should be able to get tons of really fresh produce so load up on big salads with great combinations. When you are doing more carb heavy options, try to sit down and focus on your food and mindfully enjoying what you are eating.

      And congrats!

    • Turn around when they weigh you and ask them to not tell you unless it is a real concern (like worrisome excessive fluid or you have gestational diabetes). I was overweight when I got pregnant, and even though I ate pretty healthy/tried to stay active, my body wasn’t interested in confining itself to the recommended weight gain.

      • Rainbow Hair says:

        Yeah I have a history of badstuffwithfood but like… don’t fixate on the numbers. Eat stuff that makes you feel good. Listen to your body (I found mine told me, in a much louder voice, what was working and what wasn’t when I was pregnant) and your doctor, but don’t listen to other people!

    • Following. Also, major solidarity. I started at a very similar place and I’m 27w right now. I posted before that I had been watching what I ate very carefully because I started at the very high end of “normal”/low “overweight” BMI and was paranoid about the exact OB weight guidance you’re experiencing (and then realized it was giving me migraines, ugh).

      The other thing that p*sses me off is the nurses are WILDLY different in how they write down my weight. Some will use the exact number on the scale. Some will round up a pound. Some will subtract FIVE POUNDS. I find this super unfair because who you get as a nurse impacts how much it looks like you gained since the last visit!

      Sorry I don’t have much to contribute. I’m so with you. The only thing that I can suggest is trying to stick to a diet as much as possible during the week and then let yourself cheat on the weekends (so you can say, in three days I can have ice cream! or pasta!).

      Can you walk or elliptical? That’s been my feeble attempt to burn calories since I’ve banned from running. That ticks me off too… OB says I can’t run but I also need to control my weight. Sure, I’ll just be over here eating spinach. Sigh.

      Major hugs lady.

      • Thank you all! I’m very good about hydration and am looking forward to summer fruit season. I couldn’t walk long distances for a bit because of foot and leg cramps but for whatever reason, those are now under control (no idea why, but I’ll take it!), so I was swimming and doing elliptical during that time and am now back to power walking again. Pogo–congratulations to you as well! I like the weekend cheating idea and will give it a go.

        • Anonymous says:

          Focus on veggies over fruits as the sugar spike with fruits can lead to a drop in sugar and then that will make you crave carbs. So try to eat some protein (handful of nuts is an easy one) when you eat fruit.

    • This is not the time to put pressure on yourself regarding your weight. It sounds like you’re doing what you should, and you should not need to be watching carbs, etc. to that extent. 26 pounds over 6 months doesn’t sound unreasonable to me. Even if you continue to gain a pound a week, you’re going to top out around 38 pounds. Assuming you were a reasonable weight to start, 25 – 35 pounds is what I’ve heard should be expected.

      If you lived a healthy and active lifestyle before getting pregnant, which it sounds like you did, it will come off. FWIW, I stopped weighing myself once I topped 40 pounds of weight gain with my first. It certainly took time to lose, but it did come off.

      • One more comment – is there a reason you aren’t able to hike or run? I wasn’t able to run when I was pregnant with my son but I’m thankful to still be running this time around at 20 weeks. It’s made a world of difference mentally, more than physically.

        • For a while I was getting awful foot and leg cramps (despite altering shoes, salt/magnesium/potassium consumption, etc–could not figure it out!) and nothing was helping, so I swam and did elliptical. I’m back walking with some cramping, but it’s not bad–I suspect that if I started running the cramping would return with a vengeance, though.

    • Blueberry says:

      26 lbs during 26 weeks is not necessarily too much. But, that said:

      (1) Can you keep running and hiking, etc, or is there a medical reason not to? The advice has changed pretty drastically, and unless you have a complication that prevents it, I think jogging at a comfortable pace is fine for as long as you can keep it up.

      (2) I wouldn’t dismiss limiting carbs out of hand. (NB: Maybe take this with a grain of salt, because I have a history of gestational diabetes and have started researching this to death.) I had gestational diabetes diagnosed at the very end of my last pregnancy, and I wish my doctor had been more of a hard*ss with me about my diet before. Hindsight is always 20/20, but man I felt guilty about not having a better diet during pregnancy. 150 carbs/day is not too extreme, IMO. I’ve learned that most women experience blood sugar spikes during pregnancy (thanks, hormones!), even if they don’t reach the level of having GD, so being intentional about how many carbs you eat is not a bad idea. I’m doing a GD diet from the beginning this time around, and I find that I am more than capable of gaining weight while eating < 150 carbs/day. More than total carbs/day, it seems important to limit your carbs during any particular meal, so I aim for ~30 grams for lunch and dinner, ~15 for snacks, and as few as possible for breakfast (as blood sugar spikes in the morning). So, this probably adds up to about 120 carbs/day (I eat a lot of snacks, what can I say), which is pretty doable. It sucks that I can't use pregnancy as an excuse to eat all the ice cream or all the pasta, like I did the first two times, but I'm learning to be happy with my squares of dark chocolate.

      All that said, I get annoyed when I hear we are supposed to limit weight gain to a certain amount per week. My weight fluctuates like 5 lbs during the *day* when I am *not* pregnant — how am I really supposed to keep track of that?!

    • PinkKeyboard says:

      Honestly? I’d tell them to bite me. I gained 53 lbs when I was pregnant with my first. I’m normally 5’6″ and 125 lbs, and I got back down there after within 9 months. This time I gained 5 lbs with IVF and am now up another 36 lbs at 30 wks. I do retain a ton of fluid when pregnant so it’s not all fat but I imagine I won’t be far off the 50 lb mark when I deliver (at 36-37 weeks if I go by the last baby). My body has zero interest in gaining the recommended amount and I’m not starving myself.

      • Anonymous says:

        Agree that OP shouldn’t stress too much but I do think it’s different than your situation where you started in a normal weight range from a BMI perspective (BMI isn’t perfect but it’s a rough guide). OP was already at an overweight BMI before she got pregnant and the weight gain recommendations are different depending on whether someone is under/normal/over/obese. I agree that she shouldn’t stress too much but her doctor’s advice is pretty standard.

        • (I’m the OP)–I neglected to add that I’m a dedicated weight lifter and although my starting BMI was high, my body fat percentage was within a healthy/athletic range. I’ve continued lifting with pregnancy (as best I can, anyway, having had to modify lots of the Olympic lifts.)

      • I gained 50-55 pounds with each of my kids, and then lost it all in 9-12 months after each one as well. The pregnancies were wildly different – one I was active and watching my food intake, the other I was on bedrest and ate too much takeout. My body wants to gain 50 pounds and then lose it, regardless of what the medical professionals say. I respectfully ignored my doctor’s comments on any weight gain (is my baby in danger? do i need a second gestational diabetes test? ok then thank you for your advice) and went on with my life.

        • Oh, and I technically started at the overweight BMI, although I would call it maybe on the high end of healthy for my body type. (I will never be in danger of hitting the underweight BMI, I’m pretty sure my bones alone weigh more than that.) Again. Gaining 15-25 pounds is pretty unrealistic for most pregnancies, so I felt free to ignore that piece of advice.

          • Anonymous says:

            15-25 lbs is only the recommendation for women who are overweight at the start of their pregnancies. The standard recommendation is 25-35 lbs which is a pretty reasonable amount. Keeping weight gain within the recommended range means less likelihood of a c-section which is healthier for mom and baby plus less chance of gestational hypertension. It’s obviously only one part of an overall health picture – someone that gains more than the recommended amount but who is very active everyday is probably going to be healthier than someone who gains the recommended amount but is less active.

          • Right. I’m saying I was overweight, so that was my recommendation. And I still think it’s BS and pretty unrealistic. It’s true that it’s only one part of the overall health picture, but it’s one that doctors like to focus on (too much, in my opinion) and one that mothers have way less control over than people think they do.

    • Anonymous says:

      I both gained too much weight and was “measuring small” (hey! let’s measure a three dimensional object with a one dimensional line!). It literally doesn’t matter what you do, you will have done it wrong, so don’t care.

      Also, sushi is on the “food poisoning” list, not the listeria list. Find a VERY GOOD sushi place and order noodles, eat sushi off your husband’s plate.

      • “It literally doesn’t matter what you do, you will have done it wrong, so don’t care.”

        This gave me a good laugh.

      • I ordered sushi from sushi places I really trusted starting in my second trimester. Most of the time, I ordered cooked sushi to avoid the judgment of people around me. But the cooked sushi was prepared on the exact same surface as the raw sushi, and bacteria that would cause food poisoning are on the surface, so it really did not matter one bit.

      • Lorelai Gilmore says:

        That “measuring” business made me crazy. How is that science? Pregnancy care is this bizarre combination of high tech ultrasounds and old wives’ tales based on statistics from 50 years ago.

    • rosie says:

      I think you’ve gotten a lot of good advice here already, but I wanted to add, since you mentioned IVF, that fertility treatments can really mess with this. You might have been sore from injections, restricted from exercising while stimming, dealing with all the appts–not to mention the stress of it all. When I first started TTC, I had ideas about going into pregnancy super healthy & fit, etc., but add a few years & too many hormones and injections to count to that, and my body was not in the place I had imagined. So I guess that is just to say, hugs & try to be gentle with yourself.

    • NewMomAnon says:

      Hugs. I really struggled emotionally with the weight gain, and I had a health issue that led to more weight gain than I had expected (also, coffee cake at the nearby coffee place has a LOT more calories than I imagined, oops). A lot of mine was water weight, and came off quickly. But some of it wasn’t, and hasn’t come off. Not to scare you, but just to be honest.

      A few thoughts – journal about it. Writing out my thoughts helped me realize that I have some significant body-image issues. Re-evaluate your snap judgments about other peoples’ bodies. Let yourself have the thought, acknowledge it, and then question it. Stay mobile; yoga helped me get more in touch with what my body could do, instead of focusing on why it couldn’t stay small. Pamper your body; get massages, eat “superfoods,” buy the really expensive lotion and enjoy it. If you treat your body like it is worthy of love, you may find yourself loving your body more.

      • FTMinFL says:

        This is excellent advice. My first reaction was the same as PinkKeyboard’s above (bite me), but this is really how you handle the psychological piece. You and your body are doing an amazing thing and your body knows what it will take to get you across the delivery finish line. If nothing else, you likely have a deadline (41 weeks +/- depending on your OB), so do what you need to do to get there sane. Pamper yourself, cry, nest, enjoy the heck out of a decadent dessert, whatever you need at the time. Hang in there – it sounds like you’re doing great!

        IME, I stopped looking at the scale when I had gained 40 pounds. I cried so many tears mourning my fit body. But, you know what? It was still there. It was just now fit for something else and doing a brilliant job at its current endeavor. You can trust that your body is doing what it needs to do.

    • I would push back with the doctor, asking what specifically the concerns are in your particular case, how serious they are, and telling him/her how this is impacting you. I got grief from the skinny midwife about my weight, and the fat one never said a word about it. I worried about it a lot but I was nauseous for 36 weeks out of my 42 week pregnancy, and nausea was worse when I was hungry, so I just ate all the time. I gained about 50 pounds total (started out at 5’6″, 157 lb), and lost all but 10 pounds in the first 3 months without doing anything. I had very little appetite for the first 3 weeks after my son was born when I was nursing a ton. My son was 9 lbs, but was also born at 42 weeks, and my delivery and recovery were pretty easy. I would focus on eating healthy food as much as you can, and try as much as possible to stop worrying about it. I do think limiting carbs is useful, but I also understand not being real willing to do it. (I think I did for about 2 weeks after I got a talking to from the skinny midwife).

      • (OP again.) Thank you so much, to everyone who replied! I feel so fortunate to have found this online community. I really appreciate all of the guidance!

    • I’m really surprised your doctor is concerned about only a 26 lb weight gain. I ended up gaining 40 lbs during my pregnancy (I thought I would stop gaining in the 3rd trimester, or at least weight gain would slow down, but it didn’t- however, I puffed up a lot and I think a lot of the last bit of weight was water weight). I’m with PinkKeyBoard on this- everyone reacts to pregnancy differently, and you can do everything right, and still gain too much or not gain enough. FWIW, I dropped 30 lbs in the first month post partum, was back in my pre-pregnancy clothes by 3 months, and back to my pre-pregnancy weight by 4 months. And this was after AGONIZING about that 40 lb weight gain- I hear you on the psychological part, it’s hard to see that number just go up and up! And pregnancy is hard enough without freaking out about everything that goes into your mouth. Keep exercising, eating the best you can, and just doing what you need to do to get through it. Maybe switch drs too if you have a big practice- after having one MD tell me to maybe start watching what I ate because I was on the high side for weight gain, I went back to my other dr who never once said a word about my slightly over average weight gain.

    • Hugs OP! Ugh, this is so hard, and being treated by your doctors based on BMI alone doesn’t help (they aren’t really judging – they just don’t know your initial health status any better and so only have statistical evidence to go on).

      I don’t have any great advice that’s different from what previous posters have offered, but here’s a funny story for a moment of levity:

      Back in the early 1950s, DH’s grandmother, a lovely and statuesque lady and an avid tennis-player, was chided for ‘gaining too much weight’ with her first pregnancy. This was before the days of readily available ultrasounds and the ‘weight limit’ was something absurdly low. 25 lbs? She did everything she could – diets! it was the 50s! – but couldn’t stop gaining weight. Anyway, the day came when she went into labor. Out came one baby…and then another! ‘See, I told you I wasn’t gaining too much weight.’

  15. Solo Mother's Day says:

    All, any recommendations for a low-key but somehow special Mother’s Day with a 16 month old?

    DH does shift work and will be gone. I might spend part of the day with my own mother. Single mothers, what do you do?

    • NewMomAnon says:

      Single mom here – kiddo and I lounge in my bed in the morning nibbling on breakfast while watching TV (no screen time rules on Mother’s Day when I’m solo parenting). Then my brother and his amazing wife host a Mother’s Day brunch. I try to keep kiddo outside as much as possible to minimize housework. We might eat take out for dinner so I don’t have to cook, or I’ll prep something special the week before and heat it up for a candle-light dinner with kiddo.

      Other than that, I lower my expectations. Daycare usually helps kiddo make a card or gift for me, and sometimes kiddo’s dad remembers to take her out to buy flowers for me, so I take those as special surprises. That’s it.

    • Anon in NYC says:

      I would either make a nice breakfast at home (pancakes or eggs) or go out for a coffee + pastry and make it more of a special outing. My daughter (23 months) loves sitting on a bench in the coffee shop and eating some of my banana bread. Then I would do things that are sure to be a hit with my kiddo (playground, bubbles, coloring), because that’s going to result in a good mood (and therefore a good morning). Home for lunch. During her nap, I’d take a nap or watch tv (something that you enjoy) and would definitely not do chores. Post-nap, another fun activity. Ask DH to either make dinner or pickup takeout + dessert on the way home.

    • Solo Mother's Day says:

      Thank you both. I think maybe eliminating all cooking/cleaning might work (brunch with my mom + takeout for dinner). And doing something fun outside. Maybe zoo/gardening/bubbles. And maybe having my mom take a picture of me + daughter as I am usually the picture taker…

      • I was going to suggest getting a picture of you with kid, even if it has to be a selfie. Just something to commemorate this day for both of you. You may not love the picture now, but you will when the kid is a teenager.

      • Meg Murry says:

        Also consider what things make life easier for you vs what sounds like a good idea but will actually be more stressful. For instance, ideally I wouldn’t want to cook and like the idea of going out to eat instead, but in reality trying to keep my kids on good restaurant behavior on a busy day is just going to be painful for me, not enjoyable – so instead I would do something like buy my favorite pre-made brunch things (like mini quiche or cinnamon rolls in a tube) and either make my husband agree to do the dishes for them or use paper products. Or if the weather is cooperative, perhaps brunch to-go, and eat at a picnic table at a playground where you kid can run around?

        I’ve learned the hard way that many times Mother’s Day brunch or Valentine’s Day dinner out, etc, just turns into a more expensive, bigger pain meal out but isn’t actually any more enjoyable than going to the same restaurant on a different (non-holiday) day.

        I do 100% agree with the idea of a picture of you with your kid (or selfies). I think Mother’s Day is pretty much the only time I am sure to be in the picture with my kids. Also get a picture of your mom with the kid (or all 3 of you if possible) – especially if you don’t have many of those.

        • Solo Mother's Day says:

          Good point about Mother’s Day brunch out! Perhaps a walk to the coffee shop with baby and dog earlier in the morning, since we don’t sleep in past 6:30 anyway…

        • On this point – expensive PITA brunches out – we’ve ceased to go out for brunch at normal-people brunch o’clock, and just go to the nearest diner or coffee shop for breakfast at 7am instead!

          Haven’t been solo for Mother’s Day yet, but I was solo for my birthday when kiddo was 6 months old as husband was on a 2-week, immovable work trip. It was grim. Baby and I went out for coffee and then I had some friends over to play with the baby, but I’d already been solo parenting for two weeks and nearly had a breakdown.

        • Agree! After one year of painful brunch out, we now do a Mother’s Day picnic each year (it shifts to Saturday if the Sunday weather looks bad). I get sparkly wine and cheese and bread and fruit, kids run and play. Generally it’s as good of family time as we get. Then we have my mom over for dinner (take out).

    • Anonymous says:

      Cake for breakfast + lounging in front of cartoons in the morning + napping when baby naps + coffee and leftover cake with grandma in the backyard in the afternoon.

  16. Missy says:

    I have this dress! Hobbs are comfy, but they are usually too wide for me in the hips and I have them taken in. Super comfy

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