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I kind of want this coat for myself.
This smooth velvet coat has a contrasting collar and trim, chunky buttons, and is fully lined with hand-drawn, printed fabric (it’s Boden after all). Made to last (there’s a hand-me-down label with room for more than one name), it’s easy to care for since kids should be free to be kids even when they’re dressed up.
Boden’s Velvet Smart Coat is on sale for $81.75 (marked down from $109) and comes in sizes 2-3y to 11-12y.
Sales of note for 5.5.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase (ends 5/12); $50 off your $200+ purchase (ends 5/5)
- Banana Republic Factory – Spend your StyleCash with 40-60% off everything, or take an extra 20% off purchase (ends 5/6)
- Eloquii – $19 & up 300+ styles and up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Shirts & tees starting at $24.50; extra 30% off sale styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – 40% off full-price styles & extra 15% off; extra 55% off sale styles
- Nordstrom: Nordy Club members earn 3X the points on beauty; 30% off selected shoes
- Talbots – 40% off one item & and 30% off everything else; $50 off $200 (all end 5/5)
- Zappos – 27,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 40% off everything & extra 20% off select styles with code
- Hanna Andersson – Friends & Family Sale: 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Crewcuts – tk; extra 30% off sale styles; kids’ styles starting at $14.50
- Old Navy – Up to 75% off clearance
- Target – 20% off women’s clothing & shoes; up to 50% off kitchen & dining; 20% off jewelry & hair accessories; up to $100 off select Apple products; up to 40% off home & patio; BOGO 50% off adult & YA books
Anonymous says
Just in case this hasn’t occurred to anyone else, I did a purge in my kid’s room of old books, toys, games, and puzzles, and thought to offer everything to their teachers from both this year and last year. It all went! An easy way for them to add to their classroom and super easy for me to just send it all with my kids to school.
Anon says
My kid’s elementary school has book drives so we always save our book purges for that. Daycare teachers have usually politely declined our toys, but it’s definitely worth offering!
MA PFML says
Has anyone applied for PFML benefits in the State of MA recently? I’m banging my head against the wall trying to navigate this paperwork. I’m going to give birth in 3 weeks so maybe it’s a me-issue but this feels impossible to fill out correctly without handholding. My HR is the completely opposite of helpful and, despite having a large MA presence, they don’t know diddlysquat about the MA leave process.
Anonie says
Parents of trick or treaters who still need a parent with them – how do you handle it with your spouse? Does one of you go with the kids and the other stay home to hand out candy? Or do you go together and just leave a bowl out? Some other solution I’m not thinking of?
My husband doesn’t really like Halloween so he stays home to hand out candy, while I go with the kids (which I love!). It works for us, but curious if others think this is weird and that mostly people without trick-or-treat-age kids are the ones who stay home.
Anon says
We usually have one go with the kids and one stay at home, but swap halfway through. I don’t love Halloween, so I do the shorter loop, but I do still enjoy seeing my kids trick or treat for a little. As kids, my dad always took us trick or treating and my mom always stayed home and gave out candy because she doesn’t like Halloween either.
Anon says
I don’t think either one is weird. We both go and just skip doing candy. We left a bowl out one year but someone stole the bowl, so now we just skip it. We’ll resume when our 5 year old is older and trick-or-treating without us.
Anonymous says
Spouse usually stays home to hand out candy. We normally don’t get many trick or treaters. This year I think we will just all go together and not leave a bowl out. We can hand out candy when we get back.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We’ve been going together and leaving a table out with candy. This is what everyone did in 2020 and even 2021 (table out, no knocking on doors), so it’s not too strange. Our street doesn’t get too many trick or treaters either, so it’d be a lot of sitting around for one parent.
Spirograph says
Our street is a dead-end and doesn’t get many trick or treaters aside from the kids who actually live there. The kids who live there at least start of the night trick or treating in a giant pack, so we give them candy and then follow them (including our kids) down the street. We usually both go and leave a bowl of candy out — just a mixing bowl, nothing festive. In fact, all the parents go, usually pulling a wagon with some adult beverages, and heading for the block party. Halloween is A Big Deal in my neighborhood.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
We switch off a bit, but it’s mostly DH handing out candy and me + my BFF taking the kids house to house.
Plenty of homes in our neighborhood leave candy out/or make goody bags (?!) and have signage to just take one, and I think the older kids that are more apt to take multiples/all end up swinging through by the time my kids are in bed :)
Anonymous says
We leave a bowl or one of us stays home OR we pawn them kids off on neighbors. This year, our oldest is being dropped with a friend to roam solo in their neighborhood, kid 2 is going around our neighborhood with neighbor friends, and we are taking kid 3 and her friends.
Anon says
Agreeing with everyone else that neither is weird.
We leave a mixing bowl of candy and toys out front and both take the kids around. It’s a social thing for us–we have 6 or 7 families in our neighborhood with kids the same age and all the parents enjoy hanging out, so we all go as one big group. I find it way more fun t hang out with friends than staying at home and getting up every few minutes to answer the door.
Anon. says
Yep – this.
Neither my husband nor I are big fans of Halloween, but we have a good time with the neighbors.
MBRec says
We hand out candy as a family because my kids love to give out treats. Then dad and them will do a block loop. I always went out with my dad while mom handed out candy and it’s a fun memory, so we continue it!
Mary Moo Cow says
We live in a neighborhood full of families with young kids. We split up; DH takes the kids door to door and I stay home to pass out candy. It works for us because I get to see lots of kids and chat with parents and DH gets restless. Because ages run the gamut from baby to 5th graders, trick or treating lasts hours. We start passing out candy around 5, my kids go out from about 5:30-6:30 or 6-7, and we turn our light off around 8. I’ve noticed that as kids age, parents move from both parents taking kids out to one parent staying home and one taking kids around. People also tend to buddy up, so, like 3 dads and their kids will walk together.
Anonymous says
My mom always stayed home and gave out candy while my dad took us around.
DH and I always take the kids together – we stuff the mailbox next to the front door and stick a note on the door.
Not having it in a bowl to dump seems to reduce someone just tossing the whole bowl in their bag. We also do a loop that brings us past our house once so I pop up and refill if needed.
We’re usually back in time to give out treats in person to later kids.
Anon says
Yeah, we stopped leaving candy in a bowl when we saw some tweens empty the whole bowl about 5 minutes after we left the house. Mailbox is an interesting idea, although ours is on the street so I’m not sure anyone would think to look there.
Anonymous says
Our daughter always comes up with some crazy coordinating costume that she demands one parent wear. Which parent depends on what character she wants to coordinate with her own costume and varies from year to year. The costumed parent takes her trick-or-treating. The other stays home and hands out candy.
anonamommy says
Our 9 year old is encountering some minor mean girl behavior — things like friends saying she can’t sit with them at lunch. At this point it still feels in the social squabble realm, not bullying. DH (an only child) is having a really hard time with it and is (in my view) overreacting, wanting to talk to the other parents and the school to prevent any exclusion. Our kid is still invited to birthday parties and has a lot of friends and doesn’t seem to be overly upset. I think DH would benefit from reading articles or a book on girl behavior and how to best support our daughter. Any suggestions or resources? I don’t want to downplay the impact on her, it’s definitely something we’re keeping an eye on, but I don’t want to unnecessarily escalate things when kids change their moods every week or two.
AwayEmily says
Another way to frame it to your husband is to suggest that by intervening, you would be preventing your daughter from having the experience of figuring out how to navigate this herself — and also implicitly telling her that you don’t trust her to handle it on her own. I think especially since she’s not overly upset, it’s share your own stories from when you were a kid, talk things through with her as needed, and provide a safe landing space, but fundamentally let her figure it out on her own. To me the underlying principle here isn’t about girl behavior, it’s about giving kids the tools to handle tough situations without handing those situations FOR them. Obviously if there is serious bullying or your daughter is really upset, the calculus might change — but it doesn’t sound like that’s where she’s at right now. Good luck! My daughter is 7 and I can start to see some of this looming for us, too…
Boston Legal Eagle says
Spot on, AE. We should be teaching our kids how to react in difficult situations, not fix it for them (absent extreme situations, like you say). She’s going to encounter people who exclude or say they don’t like her in the future, that’s just life. Reiterating that she should look for other friends who treat her well is key, I think.
Anon says
+1. Trust your daughter to handle this and encourage her to keep you informed. Navigating the social waters is a very important skill for kids to work on independently.
FVNC says
This response is spot-on. My daughter encountered similar “friend group drama” in 4th grade. It was a good opportunity for me to share with her my experiences about how girls “stratified” (for lack of a better word) around that age, and how my friend groups shifted because of that “sorting” process. Separately, she had a very specific, near-bullying incident with another girl in a sports class, and I coached her through a response to that situation. The important thing is, though, that SHE handled everything and it has helped her confidence.
OP, my husband looked at me like I had three heads when I explained about girls sorting into groups around 4th/5th/6th grades…apparently he just, wasn’t aware that was a thing?! Maybe your husband is similar, and that’s why he may think your daughter’s situation is atypical and requires parental involvement. I think you’re doing the right thing by giving her tools to help her deal with the situation herself. No good can come of parents getting involved at this point (although if it escalates, that is different!).
anonamommy says
That’s exactly it – I think he genuinely has no idea that kids shift their friend groups and experiment with social dynamics at this age (and continuing on). He had the same two best friends all through his childhood years with no notable drama.
I appreciate the responses here – I’m actually not as worried about my kid but more about finding solid, common parenting ground with my husband!
Spirograph says
For the love of everything, do not talk to other parents about school behavior. A parent I’d never met before approached me earlier this week about her kid, whose name I’d never heard before, having been pushed on the monkey bars by my daughter. Obviously I don’t want my daughter to be a mean girl, but, as I gently told the other mom, I wasn’t there. There are adults at school whose literal job it is to monitor and kids’ behavior at recess. I am not going to try to parse what’s real in he-said/she-said 2nd hand from 3rd graders. If there’s something going on on the playground, her son needs to tell one of the recess aides, or a teacher, or an aftercare counselor, or someone who can actually take care of it at the time it’s happening.
But yeah, I’m with you… this sounds like normal girl stuff. I’m sorry it’s happening, I know first-hand how hard it can be to see your kid struggling socially. But IMO, an elementary school parent’s job is to be a good listener and a safe space to talk about things, not to jump in right away and fix the problem (unless, obviously, it’s very serious). I’ve had this conversation with my husband too and assured him that girl friendships are just a little more dramatic than boy friendships typically are. I wouldn’t step in at this point, but if your husband feels he must, the first stop should be to ask the teachers what they’ve observed and to keep an eye out for you.
Spirograph says
I’ll add that her son was standing next to her while we had this conversation, and it was apparent to me that
1. He had never told an adult at school (confirmed later by the aftercare director and the teacher when the mom called the school the next day and it became A Whole Thing), and
2. He was mortified that his mom was confronting me.
+ a million to the points above that parents should support kids in learning to navigate social situations and advocate for themselves. I’m thinking of the story someone here shared recently about her slightly older son getting help from trusted adults after he was outed by a frenemy. Development of that kind of confidence and resourcefulness is stifled if parents are too quick to help.
Anonymous says
Oh God I’m like embarrassed for this mom.
Anon says
Wow, that’s pretty cray. I’m a sensitive only child who has to fight my instincts to stay out of my kid’s social drama (to be clear, I don’t approach other parents, but sometimes I want to) but even I would not be tempted to talk to the other mom in this situation. That sounds completely accidental!
Mary Moo Cow says
Thanks for bringing this up! I’m seeing some of this in my 3rd grader, but it also seems like social squabble. What I’ve observed is my kid’s friends shunning other kids and I wonder how much to intervene. Like, DD and M are walking into the building and E calls out “wait for me,” so DD turns around and stops but M see who it is and keeps going. In your shoes, I wouldn’t talk to the other parents, but I do wonder what the kids are saying to their parents and whether other parents are considering talking to their kids about social behavior.
anon says
I’d just keep an eye on it. Kids that age don’t necessarily know when enough is enough. We got stuck with my daughter being excluded and picked on for two months before finally bringing in the guidance counselor as it crossed the line into bullying. Coaching from home wasn’t helping. In our situation, the mean behavior was being supported by a parent who doesn’t like my daughter and I think that’s one of the reasons it was so drawn out.
After a conversation with me, the guidance counselor did sessions across the grade (not singling anyone out) on being a good friend. The exclusionary behavior completely stopped almost immediately. The social tension relaxed relaxed across the whole group of girls, I think in view of some ground rules and clear expectations for appropriate behavior. It ended up making for a much better spring in 4th grade.
Anonymous says
My daughter reported they’ve had a few of these class/grade-wide convos. According to her it stems from the boys not including certain kids in soccer games, but who knows.
anon says
It’s the age where kids start experimenting with social dynamics, so totally makes sense that a guidance counselor would stop into classes with social lessons.
Our guidance counselor handled it so well–completely confidentially and without calling anyone out–that I would reach out to her again if I had concerns. I do think it’s helpful for her to be aware of a dynamic in a grade, and she may be hearing more from other parents, so parents shouldn’t be afraid of reaching out. I’m sure it’s not always a fix, nor are all counselors as good, but an option one step up from coaching your kid if there’s a bad dynamic happening at school.
Anon says
Untangled by Lisa Damour
Anonymous says
Are these actual friends who are excluding her or just other kids in her class/school? I agree with the above to try to let her handle it herself if possible, but my approach to supporting her would different based on her prior relationship with the girls who are excluding her.
Anon says
I’ve posted about my kid with the speech delay.
Well – the new ST who will work with him weekly at school is doing a first session at home right now. And just…wow? She came in with toys/stuff to play with (vs. me having things “ready”)!
It’s such a different from the EI model I experienced — in my case, I felt I had to facilitate while the (wonderful) SLP watched from her computers screen and provided edits/suggestions. Often times, her screen would not even function properly, and we’d see her but she could not see us…
They are downstairs playing/talking and I could actually get back to work!
Anon says
This doesn’t surprise me. Free EI services are really geared toward lower income families that can’t afford private services. It’s better than nothing, of course, but you definitely get what you pay for.
FVNC says
I think this is a bit unfair, although I’m sure the quality of EI services varies by county. My daughter had an in-person ST for over a year paid for through our county’s EI services, and this therapist was an absolute godsend. She had her own practice, it’s just the payment mechanism for my daughter was through EI not insurance/privacy pay.
OP, I’m so glad the first session has gone well! A good relationship between ST and child can really help the child blossom. I hope that’s the case for you all!
anon says
It sounds like your received your EI services during covid lock down. All services through zoom sucked. I am glad you are trying in person service now – it is worlds better!
Anon says
I wish I could put it on COVID! I think it’s just an example of private being far better in my specific area, which is an uncomfortable reality.
We were in EI for ST roughly January-Sept 2023. The reason it was virtual was because of staffing issues with the county – our original ST was in-person, and then she moved, so we were assigned to a panel of someone outside of our area who could only meet virtually. And we didn’t qualify for any assistance (which is fine), so we paid like $126/session, 2x/month. Weekly in-person ST from a private SLP is actually costing us less.
And yes, per the Anon at 1:12 – I’m glad these services are available, oddly I actually work with the agency of administration through my job and it’s amazing what they take on for our county.
Given my experience if I had a friend/family member and I knew they could swing it, I’d 100% recommend private services after my experience with EI evaluation, staff, management, etc.
Anon says
This is so state and region dependent! I don’t know anyone in my area who gets EI services virtually. I wouldn’t give this advice unless your friend/family member first checks to see how services are done in their area.
Anon says
It’s completely different in my area too. First, EI is completely free regardless of income. I’m shocked to hear about the amount of those copays. Second, every high and middle income person I know who has needed services used EI if they qualified. The only people I know who went private had very minor issues and didn’t qualify. Third, our services have been great and that’s what I have heard from others too
Anon says
EI is a parent coaching model – they want to teach you how to interact with your kid (with your toys) so you can do it when the ST isn’t there.
There are good EI specialists and bad ones (I did have to ‘fire’ a covid era one who was a terrible fit), but EI and private speech are different systems with different goals.
Anon says
I’ve been volunteering as a lunch monitor at my kindergartner’s school. My kid loves having me do it and begs me to do it all the time (we’ve compromised on every other week) but lately she has a very hard time saying goodbye when it’s time for her to go back to class, and the last couple of times she’s burst into full-on tears. I’m not sure I should keep doing this. I don’t think it’s very fair to the teacher to regularly send a sobbing kid back to class for her to deal with, and also my daughter is generally a really confident, outgoing kid who has no trouble separating from us so I hate for her to be developing a reputation as a kid who cries every time she has to be apart from her mom. What do you think?
Anonymous says
Talk to your kid. I have a K kiddo and she would understand this convo: I’m happy to do it but can’t keep doing it if you cry when I leave. Do you want to think about ways we can make this work?
We had a similar issue with leaving for school and my kid begging me to get on the bus with her. I gave some suggestions and she decided packing a stuffy would work. Now a stuffy rides in her backpack and I’m never begged. (Let’s forget that she has two siblings on the bus with her- they don’t matter apparently!).
Anonymous says
I might ask the teacher. From what I hear, there are often multiple kids crying per hour in kindergarten for various reasons so it may not actually be that impactful.
My husband teaches at my kids’ school and our kindergartener is definitely struggling with seeing Daddy randomly during the day and then getting really homesick (e.g. Daddy is the middle school recess monitor at the sane time as kindergarten recess,etc).
anon says
It sounds like you being there is disruptive to your child’s day. I would stop volunteering for a bit before trying again.