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woman cleans floor while her husband relaxes on couch

27 Comments · by Kat

Weaponized Incompetence: When It’s Easier to Do It Yourself

How to Share Parenting Duties· Marriage Advice for Working Moms | chores· default parent· division of labor· posts

With household/parental tasks, do you ever think, “If I want it done right, I’ll just do it myself”? Welcome to the concept of weaponized incompetence…

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A father kissing his daughter

17 Comments · by Kate Antoniades

Dads, Babysitting, and Hobbies: How Mothers and Fathers Are Treated Differently

How to Share Parenting Duties· Parenting | default parent· equal parenting· posts

How do you feel that the parenting roles of moms and dads are viewed differently? How has this come to bear in your own family? Do you ever feel like the bar for “dad of the year” is much lower than it is for “basically good mom”?

A father and his child

42 Comments · by Kate Antoniades

When Your Husband Works So Late That He Never Sees Your Kids

Work-Life Balance | default parent· posts· working late

Does your partner consistently work late and rarely see your kids on weekdays? How do you deal with it? Readers had a great conversation about this recently, so we thought we’d pull it out for a larger discussion..

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19 Comments · by Kat

I Tried to Use Virtual Assistants to Delegate Family Tasks — Here’s What Happened

How to Share Parenting Duties | default parent· delegating· kids' activities· personal assistants· posts· virtual assistants

We often recommend that working moms delegate family tasks to other people (and we’ve talked about it in the context of the “do, delegate, or NOPE” game), so earlier this year I decided to buy 20 hours at TaskBullet (the minimum amount you’re required to buy) to see if it would be possible to delegate family … Read More about I Tried to Use Virtual Assistants to Delegate Family Tasks — Here’s What Happened

A corkboard full of sticky notes.

34 Comments · by Kate Antoniades

How to Share Emotional Labor as Parents (AKA, How to Get Your Partner To Care About the Little Stuff That Keeps You Up At Night)

How to Share Parenting Duties | chores· default parent· division of labor· emotional labor· feminism· posts· relationships

Are you always the parent who makes sure the kids’ homework is done every night? Schedules/attends/follows up on all the kids’ doctor’s appointments? Referees the sibling rivalries? Buys holiday gifts for teachers? We’ve talked before about being the default parent, sharing parenting duties with your husband, as well as mommying your husband, but we thought we’d have a discussion focused … Read More about How to Share Emotional Labor as Parents (AKA, How to Get Your Partner To Care About the Little Stuff That Keeps You Up At Night)

A picture of a mother and her child.

37 Comments · by Kat

Being the Default Parent — and Asking for Help

How to Share Parenting Duties | default parent· posts

Here’s what happened the time I tried to ask my husband to be the default parent…

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