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Sales of note for 8.30.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 20% off
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lands’ End – 40% off sitewide; 50% off backpacks, 40% off kids’ apparel
- Loft – Summer sale, 30% off new arrivals; up to 50% off much more
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- Zappos – 28,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off everything
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 40% off everything
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; extra 50% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 50-60% off; 50% off pants for the family
- Target – 20% off select clothing for all; up to 50% off home; up to 30% off select nursery furniture; up to 30% off kitchen & dining
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Eh230 says
Anyone know if these are made in bigger sizes for beds? They would be perfect for fl weather.
Anon says
Aden + Anais makes one that they call the oversized dream blanket, it’s about a twin bed type size or the size of a throw for your couch. It’s super soft, but the patterns aren’t very mature so it literally looks like a big baby blanket. Search for adult muslin throws or blankets, there are more options that aren’t the same brand, but I can’t speak to the softness.
LizzieB says
It looks like Aden + Anais has a few ‘adult’ prints of the oversized muslin blankets that have good reviews. https://www.adenandanais.com/en-us/oversized-muslin-blankets/
AwayEmily says
lol at ‘adult’ prints…I know it’s not what you meant but I’m picturing a muslin blanket with tiny pastel p*nises all over it.
octagon says
Little Unicorn makes “big kid” sized quilts that are very similar in quality. Not sure if they are quite big enough for a queen bed though.
Sabba says
It looks like Etsy has some sellers making layered muslin blankets in custom sizes and colors. LouEmbrace popped up on my search.
Vacation Ideas says
Any vacation ideas for traveling with an 18 month old near the midwest? DH and I haven’t taken a real vacation of more than 2 days for years and we’re dying to go somewhere. DH has grand plans of flying out west to do hiking like we did pre-kid. I’m not as crazy about flying and enduring a time change with kiddo if we don’t have to. We’ve looked at spots like northern Michigan (DH would like to do pictured rocks or sleeping bear dunes but it seems so far!) and are also considering spots like Gatlinburg or Asheville (been to both pre-kids), but we’re open to anything. Anyone have any ideas or tips?
Anonymous says
Michigan would have been my first suggestion! You don’t have to get all the way to sleeping bear dunes in one day!
Anonymous says
What about Calgary/Banff/Lake Louise? Calgary has a zoo, Fairmont Banff Springs is a great hotel with a nice spa (DH can hike with baby while you spa). You can use the gondolas to get you up into the mountains for hiking. Beautiful scenery even if you don’t end up hiking as much as you expect. Canoeing on Lake Louise is so pretty.
EB0220 says
Not sure where you are located exactly, but I’ve heard great things about Michigan as well. We live in NC and we love spending a long weekend at the Nanthahala Outdoor Center (about an hour south of Asheville) but that may be a hike for you. I think Gatlinburg would be nice. You could do some short hikes with baby in a carrier. What about The Ozarks? I haven’t been but hear they’re nice.
Anon says
Where are you coming from? I’m in the Chicago area so most of my suggestions are within a day’s drive of there. We like to camp (although with young kids we opted for cabins with bathtubs and running water) and to break up the hiking, we also like canoeing or other river trails so we always try to stay around water.
There are some great trails that are perfect for younger kids (or backpacks with kids in them) in Southern Illinois and Indiana. Shawnee, around Lake Shelbyville, Turkey Run, and around French Lick. They’re almost hidden gems because they’re in the middle of nothing, but it’s beautiful down there.
The Smokey Mountains are great, as well as Nashville and Natchez Trace, if you want to go farther south. Closer to Chicago there’s Starved Rock and Chain O Lakes. More north, there’s a ton in Wisconsin and Michigan – Kettle Morraine in WI is one of my favorites.
Butter says
Not the OP, but these are awesome suggestions, thanks!
Anon says
This might be further west than you want since you’re looking at Michigan, but people really love the Badlands in South Dakota.
I’d also mention that with time changes and toddlers – when you’re on vacation you can largely adapt your day to stay in your time zone. Not sure where you’re coming from, but if it is only an hour or two different, that is pretty doable.
Anon says
To add on – for us time changes forward work the best for keeping our schedule. Our 2.5 year old is an early eater, early napper, and early to bed. We recently went forward an hour but kept her on our time zone, and it was perfect. We ate and she went to bed at more adult times. The only downside was it seemed like we got going late in the morning. But it wasn’t a big deal at all. We showered at night so had minimal prep time in the mornings.
octagon says
Badlands is a great idea. There’s surprisingly good hiking around there — different than mountain west but still interesting. Another option would be a cabin in Minnesota Lake Country.
Thing is, with a toddler, everything will be Interesting! Different! Stimulating! to the kid. You have to figure out what vacation looks like to you, and then just pick whatever will be easiest logistically.
Anon says
When my son was 20 months, we took him to a Vail, Colorado during the summer. It was the perfect trip for that age. We went on short hikes, enjoyed the town, took him to the hotel pool, took him to the playground. It was about a 2 hour drive from the Denver airport, but there are other ski resorts that aren’t quite as far away. And we stopped on the way and ate dinner so it broke up the drive. Plus, the mountains in the summer are beautiful and you can find good deals on resorts. We were able to get a one bedroom condo at a great price so we could somewhat keep our nap and bedtime schedule.
Sabba says
Wisconsin Dells or Mackinac Island in Michigan? Also consider whether you have any family or friends in an area that could babysit–one childfree evening can be so nice on vacation.
NewMomAnon says
Door County, Wisconsin? Lots of state parks, some nice sand beaches, cool history and art stuff, generally kid-oriented.
Food help says
Eating help! Here’s one I haven’t seen before that I can recall and the internet isn’t much help. My formula fed 6 month old has his days and nights mixed up for eating. He’s on a great sleeping schedule overnight and with naps; however he refuses to eat during the day and gets all his nutrition overnight. He started sleeping through the night around 4 months, like 12 hours sleeping through the night. We then had a few runs of sickness through the house and I guess haven’t recovered. He’s never been the biggest fan of bottles. He doesn’t just happily suck them down. We had a good run for awhile where we were getting 6 ounce bottles down easily in 10-15 minutes every 3ish hours during the day. Now he won’t do more than 4 ounces at a time during the day and usually it’s like 1-2 and fighting the whole time. He wakes every 2-3 hours all night long and happily sucks down 6 ounces at a time.
We’re obviously working to slowly decrease what we’re offering at night but it’s hard because he’s hungry. I think he won’t eat during the day because he has better things to do – watch his older brother, roll, etc. Advice and commiseration welcomed because I’m exhausted!
Anon says
Right around 5-6 months is when most babies get all messed up in their eating. Mine reverse cycled around that time as well, and I couldn’t do a thing about it. Within a month or so, they went back to “normal”. I tried to give them more attention after work and before bed, since I was operating under the “they just want more mom time” assumption, but I don’t think that helped. I think they just wanted to remind me who was the boss for that first year.
Be kind to yourself during this phase. Take a day off work if you can (leave baby with caregiver) so you can get some sleep and refresh your mental health. Don’t beat yourself up for not finding the magical steps that will fix this – some babies just need to throw you a wrench for a while. You’ve got this.
Sabba says
This was such a nice comment.
Anonymous says
Have you tried feeding him at the same times as his older brother? So brother sits down for snack time and has a glass of milk and a snack, caregiver (assuming you’re not SAHM) sits next to brother and gives bottle?
You could also try letting him drink milk from a sippy cup or straw cup instead. My youngest wanted a straw cup at that age because that’s what his older sister had so we did straw cup daytime and bottle before bed/nap.
Mama Llama says
I haven’t dealt with this myself, but maybe check out this page and the “night weaning for bottle-fed babies” section. https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-sleeping-through-the-night-part-3/
Good luck!
Anon in NYC says
Have you started introducing solids yet? Maybe if he eats real food during the day and has smaller bottles of formula with meals, he won’t need as much at night.
M in DC says
I’m nursing, but around six months my baby also started getting very easily distracted by her older brother, among other things, so on the weekends I now I take her upstairs to nurse if possible (away from the rest of the family). Might that help? She’s in daycare during the week, but I guess they are able to focus her enough to drink from the bottle there…
Anonymous says
This. My 2nd baby would only nurse in her bedroom alone with me, starting from around 6 months. I actually enjoyed the peace and quiet.
Meg Murry says
Seconding this suggestion. Could you try to duplicate what you are doing at night? I’m assuming that’s in a dim, quiet room with minimal distractions, etc. Anything else different at night (bottle not as warm, dad giving more bottles instead of mom, etc)?
I also agree that it might be good time to try some food. I’d skip cereal for now as it is such a messy pain with minimal help and try for something like avocado that has some hefty fat and calories.
Also, have you tried stepping up a nipple size (at least during the day)? Perhaps the faster flow would help him to take the bottle during the day?
Pogo says
Thirding, and +1 on the nipple size. Other suggestion is to see if you can get him holding his own bottle? That way he can look around and see what’s up while eating (if retreating doesn’t work to reduce the distractions).
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Reverse cycling is the worst.
anon says
Can we talk about nighttime routine and consequences? We have been having issues with boundaries during our routine for a few weeks and it is causing so much stress every night. Kiddo is 3.5 and the routine is to have a snack, brush teeth/potty, read 3 books, and lights out. Every now and again she has asked for one more book and if she asked nicely, I have given in. What happens when its two more books? Or when she doesn’t want to lay in bed? I usually redirect without saying “no,” but that can be a long, hard routine. DH says we should stand firm with 3 books, say no, and let her cry/tantrum. He also thinks that we should give her a consequence for fussing at night- we should take away her screen time for the next day (she watches one episode every morning). I think that will just make for a rough night AND a rough morning. I also know that I am probably too much of a push over.
DH feels like things are out of control with the kiddo and we are not giving consequences for bad behavior. Is it even possible to discipline a 3 year old??
anne-on says
I think at this age it is developmentally appropriate for consequences to be things they lose in the moment. A 3.5 yr old will probably not connect losing TV the next AM with their behavior the night before.
So, do you agree with DH that it should only be 3 books? If so, a gentle calm reminder is my suggestion “I know you like to read books with us, I do to! But now its bed time and we can read more in the morning/tomorrow/etc.” Then into bed with cuddles (if you do that) – if the issue is cutting off the cuddles can you do a timer?
Having a child stay in bed is kind of a repeat of sleep training – I believe it was covered in Ferber’s book, and as I recall the advice was that you can’t make them sleep, but you can make them stay in bed. After a warning, you go in and put them back in bed. Repeat as necessary. No interactions (talking, hugs, cuddles) no escalation (consequences) you just make it super super quiet and boring. After a few nights the getting out of bed should stop.
Anonymous says
If you won’t/can’t sleep, you can read a book in the closet (there is a 60-watt bulb in there) or in the doorway b/c kids’ room and the hall. But that’s the only thing you can do. “You can read a book until you’re tired.” It’s not exciting and they don’t get any interaction with me, so they don’t keep at it for long and turn in relatively soon.
It wasn’t always like this — often they had to be redirected when they were younger (but silently; trying to minimize the interactions).
So I don’t discipline them per se over this, but give them something they can do that is not totally at odds with getting to bed (hanging out with me, watching TV, being loud, ipad).
Anon says
Yes we do this too. The routine stays as it is. If they want more books, they can read on their own in bed. (They have the boon gleam nightlight to use as a flashlight if needed.) They’ve stayed up for an hour, reading in bed, but I don’t care. Sometimes I’m not tired either, I know what it’s like to not be able to fall asleep.
I tell them they don’t have to sleep after the routine, they just have to stay in bed and be quiet. If they don’t do those two things, then the immediate consequence is they lose a stuffed animal/ doll from their bed. One night I got all the way to a bare mattress, (I snuck in and covered them up with a blanket after they were asleep) and I haven’t had to do more than 1 animal since that point.
mascot says
So glad to hear that I am not the only parent who has seized all the stuffed animals. I don’t touch the most beloved one that is the comfort item, but the other 12 are fair game.
OP, you may have to vary the consequences a couple of times before you figure out what works. I call that “finding their currency” And I know that we’ve been conditioned to think that little kids don’t understand next day consequences, but I think that’s not really true. Does your kid let you forget about the ice cream that you promised 2 days ago and didn’t get to or that time you saw an elephant at the zoo? Mine didn’t. Preschoolers are more capable than we think.
Anon says
I don’t think it is right to have consequences for “fussing”. Crying is a natural part of how children that age communicate. It shouldn’t have consequences.
Anonymous says
I would agree with this if it was a 3.5 month old (we’re anti-CIO) but we definitely use logical consequences for a 3.5 year old. But I understand fussiness for a 3.5 year old to mean things like whining, refusing to get in the bath or put on pjs and not full on crying.
shortperson says
i agree. i’m a janet lansbury fan and #1 thing i would never do is punish for crying. but also dont give in to what she wants when she cries.
SC says
+1. We use routines and timers a lot, and DH used to say things like, “One more minute, and then we’re doing X, and I don’t want to hear crying about it.” Kiddo started saying, “And no crying!” pretty frequently, even when we didn’t. This weekend, I told him it’s always OK to cry and be said, but we don’t want him to argue after the warning and the timer going off. He seemed really relieved to hear that he could cry if he needed to.
EB0220 says
My younger daughter (also 3.5) is like this. I have to be really, really clear with the boundaries. In our bedtime routine, they go to bed after 2 books, or at 8 pm, whichever comes first. I can’t budget an inch with my 3.5 year old. The first consequence is usually that I turn off her bedtime music. A later consequence is losing screen time the next day, which does actually seems to work with her. When she fusses or gets up, I always take her back to bed without reacting or engaging. That makes it super boring and she tends to go to sleep more quickly. I do also let her look at a book, as Anonymous mentioned. I just recently started doing all of these things after a month of bedtime chaos.
Anonymous says
We only to do two books before bed. If there’s fussing/being difficult about going to bed, usually I will say that if we don’t hurry, there will be only time for one book, escalating to no books if behavior worsens. It’s a logical consquence – bed time is at certain time and if kid refuses to brush teeth or whatever, that uses up the book reading time.
I find if bedtime routine gets too long, kid gets grumpy so the whole thing from start to finish needs to happen in a half hour.
Next day consequences are too abstract for a 3.5 year old.
Anon says
Yes good point if the fussing is during the routine. Make it simple and quick. Do you need the snack right before bed? Start scaling that back, maybe with just a spoonful of honey or peanut butter to keep the tummy full. And you can present shortening to 2 books as a reward because she’s a Big Girl now – “You are so Big now! You get to read on your own! In bed! So now you’ll get to pick out FOUR books. Mom and Dad will read two, and then you’ll get to read the other two in bed after we leave! Isn’t that great! I’m so proud of you!”
Write out your routine for her (using pictures if necessary) so she knows what is next. Present it as a rule that even you have to follow, that you can’t change it. “Oh look, the list says brushing teeth is next! Better hurry so we can get to our favorite part, the books!” “I wish, but the list says only two books! We have to turn the light out now!” “No, the list said you had water after you used the potty, it’s time for you to stay in bed now!”
Anon in NYC says
I don’t have a set number of books that I read to my almost 3 year old, but I limit it based on length. If she wants a 20 page book, the next one is both short and the last book. If she picks short books, I’ll read 3. We let her pick a book to keep in her crib. After we put her in her crib we read her a Hello magazine (Highlights but for babies, so they’re super short). Then it’s lights out.
What we started to do to head off the tantrums about more books is that we warn her in advance that whatever book she picked is “last book” – it mostly works. Sometimes she throws a tantrum that she wants more, but I guess we adopt your DH’s approach and just put her in her crib! If we leave her while she’s still hysterical we sometimes have to go back in and tuck her in, but that’s okay with me.
CPA Lady says
I think you need to decide what you’re going to do and never deviate from it. If you’re going to read x number of books, never read x+1, no matter how nicely she asks, and no matter how hard she tantrums. You can read an extra book at some other point in the day, but not during bedtime. I am a pushover and my husband is a harda$$, and shockingly (not) his experience doing bedtime goes much more smoothly. They push boundaries where they know they have been successful in the past.
That said, we never have next day consequences. If my kid is being a jerk during bedtime she can lose stories that night, but we wouldn’t take away the next day’s screen time or books or anything like that.
A says
I also have a 3.5 year old and have been dealing with the bedtime chaos. It is exhausting! We just implemented a sticker chart over the weekend, which seems to be working so far. If she’s cooperative at bedtime and stays in her room quietly after we leave (she can look at books until she’s ready to go to sleep), she gets a sticker the next morning and an extra bedtime story the following night. We’ll pick out a new book at the store this weekend if it’s a good week. I have found positive reinforcement to work best with my kid. Otherwise, she tests every single consequence and pushes the limits until everyone is exasperated (adults) and in tears (her).
Anon says
I don’t think taking away screen time will work as a “punishment” for behavior the night before, but I do think eliminating screen time for a bit can improve overall attitude/behavior. We’re actually doing a screen-free week with my 2.5 yr old right now because things were starting to go off the rails, including at bedtime. It’s definitely more of a punishment for the adults lol…. but I think it can have a big, positive impact on the child’s overall dispositionz
octagon says
We do a version of 1-2-3 magic with my 2.5 year-old. Routine is brush teeth, potty, 3 books, bed. If he is not cooperative during brushing or any stage of the routine, I give a warning that he will lose a book if he doesn’t [insert action here]. Count to three – 1, 2, 3, that’s it, one book gone. We’ve only had one night where he lost all three books and went straight to bed.
When he is upset about losing a book, I’m very matter-of-fact: Yes, I know you are upset, but remember you didn’t do [X] so you lost the book. You’ll have a chance to have all three books tomorrow.
It took a few times before he realized that we were serious, but now he can often correct his behavior before we get to the count of 3.
NewMomAnon says
Kiddo likes to push boundaries at bedtime, and it gets so much worse when she’s too tired. Could you nudge bedtime a bit earlier and see if that helps? I have found that it’s better it get kiddo into bed with lights off before she’s over tired, and let her wind down by herself. Also, if the rule is 3 books, you absolutely need to stick to your guns on 3 books. If I give in on that one night, I’ve basically created a new “read 3 books, ask for another book, read another book” routine that I then have to break.
I’m with the folks saying that next day consequences aren’t helpful at 3.5. Also second the recommendation to cut screen time anyway and see if it helps.
Pogo says
Someone mentioned Ferber above, but I read Weissbluth and even as kids get older his constant refrain is that bedtime is too late. Night waking, bedtime battles, waking up early: he says to try moving bedtime earlier. Worth a try at least.
Sabba says
I think you need to reset the boundaries. Go over the routine a few hours before so that it is not a surprise there will only be 3 books. Hold firm to 3 books. Let the tantrums happen if they begin, the boundary needs to be re-established. I’m not sure that removal of next-day privileges would help, but if there is any privilege that can be removed, consider that too (“We talked about three books before bed. If you continue to fuss for an extra book, I will remove your nightlight/music/toy/whatever and you can sleep without it. Sleep is important and it is time to sleep now.”)
Yesterday's YP Anon says
Wanted to clarify what I meant by YP yesterday. Yes it is Young Professionals. In my former city, YP stuff was insanely trendy. Every city/chamber in the metro had a YP group. Even some charities had junior YP boards. But focusing on bringing in and retaining YPs is a huge initiative of my former city/metro area. It that area, YP programming is really aimed at folks who are very new to networking/involvement. The content is recycled every few years and aimed at educating YPs on the basics of having a career, networking, etc. I wouldn’t be offended if you don’t qualify anymore (although most groups don’t really have age restrictions). It really is aimed at people who are in the first few years of their career. It’s pretty common in my state, too. My new town (in the same state) has a YP group affiliated with its chamber (and then most of the YP groups are affiliated with a statewide network that has conferences, etc.). But I just think I’ve outgrown it and the members would be at different (pre-kid) life stages than me. Regarding YP-priced tickets, that is a thing too. In areas where YP stuff is big, I think some of the arts realize they price out young people, and they aren’t sustaining themselves because of it. So they offer YP rates. It also helps for recruiting people to your area.
Gel Manicures says
I used to get gel manicures regularly. It ruined my nails, and I swore never again. Fast forward 4 years, and I miss having great nails. I’ve read that it only ruins your nails if you aren’t gentle taking it off. Can anyone provide any advice on how to properly take off a gel manicure at home? I’d still get the manicures at a nail salon, but I’d be willing to take them off myself to save my nails. Thanks!
mascot says
What about the at-home versions of gel that don’t use the light? I’ve had good luck with the Sally Hansen miracle gel line- it last about a week on my nails and 3 weeks on my toes. Dries substantially harder and faster than conventional polish. Plus, you can remove it with regular nail polish remover. The Deborah Lippman Gel Lab Pro set (basecoat and topcoat) is also a suggestion if you want more choices for colors since you can use it with any polish , but it’s more expensive.
Pogo says
+1 to mascot – Essie Gelish is really good! And it doesn’t seem harsh on my nails.
KateMiddletown says
I think the extreme amount of acetone needed to remove a pro gel mani is what kills your nails. Unfortunately, there’s no easier way to take it off than at the salon (and ours is free removal if you get another service.) I recently removed SNS dip polish from my nails at home…never again.
SC says
I compromise by getting gel manicures only occasionally. I have them now because we went to a big party this past weekend, and we’re going on vacation next week. The rest of the time, I get normal manicures and just accept that the polish will only last a week. My nail salon has “polish changes” that aren’t very expensive (maybe $12), so you could go that route.
AwayEmily says
Hair twirling….my 2 year old has always sucked her thumb while twirling her hair but in the last week the hair twirling has gotten excessive. She’s gotten her finger caught a few times; twice bad enough that we had to cut it out. We’ve started having her sleep in pigtails, which helps somewhat but doesn’t solve it entirely. My husband thinks we should get her hair cut super short. I’m reluctant.
I’m sure a big part of it is her new 2 month old brother — she’s dealing relatively well (and much better than a month ago) but change is tough. Any thoughts on whether this will decrease on its own? Other things we should try? So far we’ve been gently redirecting when possible, but not telling her to stop (I heard that can make it worse). The times it gets really bad are car rides and at night, when we aren’t around to intervene (and when she’s bored, I think).
Anon says
Maybe try introducing a new lovey?
AwayEmily says
Interesting idea. She has a lovey she likes a lot and sleeps with (one of the Angel Dear animals) but it maybe a more fidget-friendly one would be helpful.
Anon says
My daughter is a paci kiddo. But she requires two. One in her mouth and one that she fiddles with in her hand. We started a lovey a while back (last summer maybe?) so that she’d have a while with it before we take pacis away. Her dentist said he recommends taking them away around 3. She is almost 30 months now, so we’ll probably work on it at the end of summer. Her lovey is also an Angel Dear. I wonder about a doll with actual hair to stand in for her own?
Anon says
Lifelong hair twirler here. It definitely does pick up when bored or stressed, but I’m also a person who can’t keep still ever (always bouncing my leg, fiddling with something) so it gives me a way to keep my hands busy when I’m reading, etc. I’m not sure what a “solution” would be since I still do it, but don’t chop her hair really short — that’s mean! Maybe a cute bob so there’s less to tangle, but don’t deprive her of one of her means of self-soothing,
Anonymous says
I don’t think you can really stop or change the behavior. My mom and one of my twins are both hair twirlers. It’s clearly a stress relief thing for both of them. I bought an animal hat for LO this winter and he constantly twirls the ears as well.
I braid my daughter’s hair every night into a loose braid so it doesn’t tangle. maybe you could do 2-3 smaller braids and encourage twirling of one braid?
AwayEmily says
Braids are a good idea. One of the reasons I don’t want to cut her hair short is because I actually think it will be easier to deal with once the hair is longer because we can braid it (it’s a bit too short now). Whereas even a short bob I worry she can still get tangled up in.
Summer break? says
Yeah, bob haircuts are adorable but not quite as low-maintenance as they seem. I’d keep growing it and do braids at night.
Anonymous says
I’m newly pregnant and am already halfway through “Bringing Up Bebe.” I know nothing (NOTHING!) about children, but the author makes French parenting seem so effortless and just… logical. Have any of you had strong reactions (positive or negative) to the book and/or implemented any of her suggestions (with or without success?)
TIA!
NewMomAnon says
Have not read it, but anyone who makes parenting seem effortless is selling you a load bullsh*t. Read How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen, and then come back to us after the first toddler tantrum with a compare/contrast!
Anon says
Yeah parenting done right isn’t effortless. It takes work to be a good parent. See above with the nighttime routine question. Sticking to a routine, enforcing consequences, it’s all work.
If you have a general philosophy and stick to that, it feels more natural (which is why those traditionalist marriages with strict child-rearing concepts tend to stick around as a model) but it still takes effort to balance discipline and respect, routine with flexibility.
The best suggestion is to realize that there’s very little you can do to ruin your kid. They’re resilient and will become themselves regardless of the decisions you make (barring trauma and abuse). Formula vs b00b, co-sleep vs crib, nuggets vs carrots, it’s all very small impact in the scheme of a life. Just pick what makes sense for you and your family, and what you can live with, and let the rest go.
Anon says
I read that book and loved it. NewMomAnon is absolutely correct in that parenting is not effortless. However, I think having that book in mind has been helpful for me. For example, letting LO do things on his own, teaching him from the very beginning that we don’t do certain things (the scene about pulling the books off the shelf comes to mind). And just in general not catering to his every whim and desire. He’s 3 years old now and we’ve never had a problem with him in public.
Anon in NYC says
I remember liking the book when I read it, but I don’t remember much (so I guess that shows you how much I implemented it). The Le Pause can work. I was surprised at how against instinct it was to wait a few minutes to give your kid a chance to settle, but it can work (of course, not in all circumstances). I enjoyed the parts about nutrition / not making sweets verboten / school system, but realistically, that’s not how the American daycare/school system is set up food-wise. But we do try to adopt a food philosophy that incorporates sweets (day to day it’s a small thing like a fig newton with dinner, and special treats are things like cake, cookies, chocolate, etc.).
Agree with NewMomAnon, though, that parenting is not effortless! It just seems a lot easier when your society as a whole has determined that it values providing families with resources that support them.
Em says
I would agree with this. The Le Pause was very useful. I also liked the food parts, and I think it contributed to my offering my son foods that I otherwise wouldn’t consider “toddler foods”. A woman was handing out samples of fancy cheese at the grocery store the other day and was impressed my 2-year-old was happy to eat all the unusual flavored cheeses after she tried to steer him toward the mild one. I think the way society in the US is set up vs. society in France, and the attitudes towards babies and children, make most of it unpractical.
Sabba says
I really liked Bringing up Bebe and I think the “pause” advice was good for us (i.e., in the early weeks, pause a few moments before responding to a nighttime cry to see if baby really needs you).
I think reading books like this can help you shape your own parenting philosophy, so that can be good. Every parent/child dynamic is different, so you will end up picking and choosing things from a ton of different perspectives to find what works for you. I echo the other comments that nothing about parenting is effortless, though. Certain books make it seem that way because it helps the author’s narrative. Also, some of the things about parenting can sound so easy in the abstract but can be so difficult in the trenches. Many solutions to common problems are easy, but finding the solution that works for you and your baby can seem crazy difficult in the moment.
Something you might find helpful is to write out a parenting mission statement about the kind of parent you want to be. I wrote one and look at it from time to time and it can help clarify decisions and philosophies and make me remember my priorities and act accordingly. For example, it might be part of your mission statement to raise a kind human being or to raise an independent person or whatever. Even at an early age, I think those priorities can inform your decisions and how you respond to your child and how you act as a role model.
avocado says
“Certain books make it seem [effortless] because it helps the author’s narrative.”
This is a very good point. These books also tend to be very judgmental–if parenting isn’t effortless, then it’s the parent’s fault because the parent isn’t doing it right. I am looking at you, Ellyn Satter and Dr. Sears.
mascot says
+ to what Due in December posted below. Also, so much of what you find easy/hard will also depend on your child’s personality. For example, my kid is by nature a good sleeper. Yes, we did help by being consistent about bedtime routines and implementing pauses before going in there, but really, he STTN early on and this has never been one of our struggle points. So it would be easy to say that certain philosophies of sleep training are the way to go because that was the way our kid was naturally geared when he probably would have done it this way without much intervention from us at all.
He’s also somewhat rigid about rules. So yeah, it looks like we are amazing at discipline in that our kid could be trusted not to color on the walls, or take food out of the kitchen, or leave the front yard when we told him not to. That same rigidity back-fires when he’s trying to monitor other classmates behavior or getting someone to play a game exactly the way he thinks it should be played. Two sides of the same coin. All of this to say, that there are no magic formulas for easy parenting. There are a lot of right ways to parent and a few wrong ways to parent (abuse, neglect, etc). In the end, everyone has their points of struggle so resist the urge to think you are doing it all wrong because a certain book’s tactics don’t fit your family and situation.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We tried to do the “pause” starting with our son’s naps when he was just a few months old, and it seemed to help. He was able to soothe himself to fall asleep on his own and this worked for night time sleeping as well. I think the real test will be to see if it works with baby #2 or if our son was just naturally a good sleeper! I also liked the general philosophy of parents not having their lives revolve around their kids – I think they gave examples of where the parents ate dinner and the kids were expected to play by themselves.
My impression is that France is geared more for dual working parents (encouraging formula, subsidized daycare for all kids, better working hours, etc.), which makes it seem easier when you fit into that model vs. being part of a dual working couple in the U.S., which is still set up for one outside the home working parent and one SAHP. I do remember reading in the book that women still did most of the childcare in France, even with all their working parent policies. That was kind of surprising and a turnoff for both me and my husband.
AwayEmily says
I think there’s some wisdom in there, especially the emphasis on structure/routine (the “cadre”). But with parenting (as with sleep, actually), I’ve had the best results in reading a lot of parenting books, being open to different approaches, and then cobbling together a strategy that works for me and for my kid. So I’d treat it as one resource among many rather than as a bible, I guess is what I’m saying.
shortperson says
i liked that book. i’ve read a few with consistent approaches: how to talk so kids will listen, everything by janet lansbury, ellen sattyr, how to raise an adult, the blessing of a skinned knee. these form the basis of our parenting and while raising our kids is not effortless, there’s been a lot less conflict\tears\tantrums than i expected going in.
mascot says
I really liked Blessing of a Skinned Knee. We aren’t Jewish so some of the religious cultural points weren’t as impactful, but I still found very accessible.
Anon says
No advice, but I totally want to read this now. My daughter is an only child and (very likely) will remain that way. My husband and I haven’t been around kids a bunch before now, so I think we might be raising our child similar to what you describe somewhat naturally. We still want to enjoy the things we did before and don’t want to exclude our child.
avocado says
I didn’t read it either, but now I think I should read it because it will validate the fact that we have been toting our kid along to adult places for her entire life. Except that it will probably also blame me for our kid’s eating habits (but she does like stinky cheese, bread, and foods that are expensive, so perhaps she does eat like a French child after all).
KateMiddletown says
I had the same reaction when I read Achtung, Baby, which is basically the German version. They let their 5 year olds ride the subway solo, so why don’t we? We have to parent in the environment we’re in, and you can take some lessons from other cultures but they live in a very different world than us.
Frozen Peach says
My husband and I both read BUB when I was pregnant and both loved it. It has been the core of our parenting philosophy, and people are always shocked at how well-behaved our child is, that she loves olives, and lots of the other things people have mentioned above. For me the most important conclusion was that it’s not healthy or good for kids for their parents’ lives to revolve around them. That’s a strong strain in American culture that we have consciously resisted, and I’m SO GLAD. It makes it easier to find other like-minded parents.
But I agree also that there’s no one book that will do the trick. I burst out laughing when I discovered that the very conservative Moms on Call completely agrees with the crunchy Brooklyn Tribeca Pediatrics New Basics advice about how to handle toddler tantrums. Like, step by step. Parenting books are a buffet and you’ve gotta fill your plate with what you and your kid are hungry for– each kid is different.
Due in December says
I read it while pregnant as well (handle notwithstanding, my kid is 2). I thought it was a good read and helpful when thinking about my general philosophy or approach toward parenting, not really as a guide like How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen (I second NewMomAnon’s endorsement of that book). In other words, I liked some of the suggestions and implemented them, but I would recommend framing them as ways to communicate with / understand / relate to your child rather than specific strategies to get desired outcomes. I think that if you implemented all of her strategies thinking they will necessarily lead to a well-behaved good sleeper who will eat anything, you may be sorely disappointed.
I also think that while reading it it is very important to consider the different environment and societal supports you will have as a working parent in the U.S. (assuming this is the case for you).
I’ve “implemented” some of the following suggestions:
– When she was a baby, the “pause.” I thought this was helpful. Don’t expect it to magically make your kid able to sleep through the night, but for my relatively good sleeper, I do think it helped me start to be able to distinguish her cries and get to the bottom of why she was fussing, and sometimes she did calm down on her own. I had and still have a kind of biological flight-or-fight response to my kid crying and it is good to have a reminder not to panic and spring into action right away.
– Saying “please” and “thank you” and generally being super polite with my kid from the beginning. I think this makes less of a difference with her behavior than with my own state of mind (it kind of puts me in a good mood).
– Letting kid just be rather than constantly interacting or trying to entertain her. This book, I felt, gave me confidence in my feeling that it was OK to just sit on our condo deck with her in her high chair in the summer reading a book while she experimented with yogurt as a 6 month old and watched the birds and the breeze in the trees. I’m generally a bit nervous/anxious so I need a voice in my head telling me to step back and let my kid experience the world on her own without my constant hovering/running commentary/quizzing about colors and numbers and shapes; Bringing Up Bebe can be that voice for me.
I also thought the discussion of food was helpful but Ellyn Satter’s book provided more concrete, less aspirational methods for approaching babies / children and food.
Anonymous says
thanks!
AnotherAnon says
Does anyone have advice for or alternatives to middle ear tubes? LO is 13 months and is on his 6th ear infection in as many months (latest one never cleared up with antibiotics). Pedi referred us to an ENT, whom we will see on Friday. My main concern is not necessarily the tubes, but having him under general anesthesia when he is so young. I’d like to hear about any successful alternatives.
octagon says
You can ask the ENT but when I asked a similar question I was told that unless we were willing to go to heavy-duty antibiotics for every infection (potentially requiring an IV and a hospital stay), the tubes were the answer.
I will tell you that the time under anesthesia was much shorter than I expected (less than 20 minutes), and was administered by a pediatric anesthesiologist. And we have not had a single ear infection since it was done more than a year ago. I wish we had done it months earlier.
anne-on says
+1. I pushed for tubes after the 4th ear infection in 5 months, and we didn’t get them for about another 3 months…in which time there were 2 more infections. The time at home disrupting work, disrupted sleep (for you and them), the impacts of the antibiotics, the potential impact of speech, etc. etc. was MORE than enough to still make me wish we’d had them put in sooner.
NewMomAnon says
This is not what you wanted to hear, but my biggest regret of my early parenting was not pushing for ear tubes. We tried chiropractic adjustments and cranio/sacral stuff, we tried the ear drops, we tried putting the mattress at an incline to help with drainage, we did the regular nasal spray/snot sucking, we switched to sippy cups from bottles. And yet…we had 4-6 ear infections a year for the first 3 winters. Each one completely disrupted sleep for at least a week, and kiddo and I took so many antibiotics that I still worry about the long-term effect.
On balance, I think one round of anesthesia would have been about the same risk as 4 rounds of antibiotics a year for 3 years, plus a sleep-deprived zombie parent driving a child in rush hour traffic….but talk with your ped about that risk (and don’t google it for the love of all things holy).
FWIW, there is now a procedure now that doesn’t require anesthesia – they use a little gun-type device to pop the tubes in. I don’t know if they can do it on tiny kiddos yet, or if they move too much.
AnotherAnon says
This perspective is exactly what I was looking for actually. I don’t want to mess with alternatives if they’re mostly ineffective: I want this problem solved before we encounter permanent hearing and gut problems. Thanks for sharing!
NewMomAnon says
As clarification – I had no objection to ear tubes. Kiddo’s ear infection clusters were always spaced out in such a way that they didn’t fit the classic timing rules for automatic ear tube recommendation, and the pediatrician was (understandably) hesitant about putting a kiddo under anesthesia. I wish I had advocated more strongly about how much the ear infections disrupted our lives, instead of just assuming that the ped knew how bad it was. Because she didn’t, and I think she would have recommended ear tubes if I had explained it.
Walnut says
Tubes was the best.thing.ever for my toddler. We went that route after ear infection #5 in a 12 month period and have not had another in the year since tubes.
I know others who have gone the chiropractic route, so if that sort of thing interests you it might be worth checking out. I did not evaluate that option.
Mrs. Jones says
+1 tubes were a life saver.
Anonymous says
+2. Dude, tubes are awesome. It was a sucky 30 minutes or waiting for my daughter to get back to recovery, but they don’t even do an IV for tubes (or at least they didn’t in my hospital). It was just gas. And the recovery was super quick. I wish we hadn’t waited so long crossing our fingers and hoping.
SC says
+3. Tubes were the best thing we did for my Kiddo. Life-changing. We went from 4-5 ear infections over 6 months to 0 since he received them over a year ago. He’s only missed a few days of school since then, and he hasn’t been on antibiotics yet.
I’d encourage you to get the tubes as soon as possible. We didn’t get them until Kiddo was 22 months. The fluid in his ears was already causing hearing problems, and he had some language delays–of course we can’t be sure if it’s connected to the early hearing problems, but it seems likely.
EB0220 says
I will echo that tubes were life-changing for us. Before tubes, my oldest was sick every other week. She had constant ear infections, then her little GI system reacted badly to the antibiotics. It was an endless cycle. Since she got ear tubes at 13 months I think she’s been sick maybe 3 or 4 times (she’s now 6). Life. changing. I understand that you may have a specific reason to avoid the tubes but if not, I highly recommend them.
Meg Murry says
We didn’t get ear tubes until 5, because my son’s ear infections were largely asymptomatic other than having trouble hearing (he rarely ran a fever and never complained of ears hurting). The only thing that helped a little bit before we got tubes was allergy medication – that helped us go from being constantly stuffy/sniffly/congested to actually having a little bit of a reprieve between illnesses.
Also, something no one warned us about: if kiddo’s ear infection hasn’t cleared up and they are still running a fever (or coming down with something new), they’ll have to push the procedure back. We had to reschedule 2x before they could finally put in the tubes, because the first time the ear infection hadn’t cleared up and the second time he was running a new fever.
That said, it was worth it – our son’s hearing went from 50% before the tubes to almost perfect afterward, which made it worth it for us.
Due in December says
High chairs or boosters for picnic tables for 2 1/2 or 3 yo?
We’re going camping this spring/summer several times. Kid is large for her age. We had been thinking of getting something like the Inglesina Fast Table Chair to hook on to picnic tables but I’m wondering if that makes sense since kid will be approaching the weight limit soon. Any other suggestions?
Haven’t tried her in her old IKEA Antilop for a while and I don’t know that she’d fit any more.
Pogo says
We have friends with the Inglesina and a big 2.5yo seems like they would not fit in it.
IIRC when we camped with my niece when she was that age she just sat on the bench on her knees as kids tend to do anyway. She also did not sit in one place very long in general…. or eat actual meals… I think this was in her “crackers and toast only” phase.
Due in December says
Thanks, sigh, this is what I was worried about (Inglesina being small). Sitting and eating at a table is like the one time I can usually count on the kid actually sitting in one place for 20 minutes at a time!
avocado says
Yep, our kid just sat on her knees at the picnic table at that age. At home she used a strapless booster that just sat right on top of the chair, which would have been easy enough to bring, but we didn’t want to lug one more thing along or get it dirty.
Anon in NYC says
My kid (almost 3) now refuses to sit in a high chair. You can try a booster on the bench, if it’s easy to pack/portable, but I’d say just be fine with your kid sitting on the bench.
EB0220 says
+1 to sitting on the bench. We also camp and have large kids.
LittleBigLaw says
I think I’ve come back to work too soon after baby 2. I thought I was ready, but I’m really struggling with trying to juggle a preschooler and a baby in addition to a demanding job. (It doesn’t help that DH’s busy season is in full swing right now – what was I thinking??) I feel whiny and bad at everything. Someone please remind me that this is normal. How did you mitigate the challenges of the initial transition phase back to work? Particularly interested in second (or beyond) time moms in billable hour environments. How does anyone actually do all this??
biglawanon says
Honestly, a nanny to avoid all drop-offs/pickups and to help with other stuff around the house.
Anonymous says
Not big law but agree…a nanny who is willing to do housework and handle all the stuff that just adds up (cleaning up breakfast dishes, refilling soap/toilet paper, picking up whatever messes preschooler made with the couch cushions, etc…)
Anonymous says
have only been through it once (due with the 2nd soon), but i returned to work mid-year and missed my billables target for the year by something like 2 weeks’ worth of work. I was killing myself trying to make that goal. i wish i had just accepted from the get-go that i wasn’t going to hit my billables that year and just let myself ease back in for a few months. so i say YES this is normal. and my not so helpful advice would be to just let this year be what it is in terms of billable and promise yourself you’ll kill it next year.
Anon says
I’m about to have my first and already behind. I’ll come back with 3 months left in the billable year, but kind of thinking it’s a lost cause…
Were you able to kill it the next year? That’s my biggest fear– I’m ok with letting it go for this year and have the job security to make it work, but I’m worried that I’ll never get back on track once I have a LO at home.
Anonymous says
totally killed it. two trials. one of the highest billers last year. not nursing/pumping and having a solid night’s sleep cannot be underestimated!
shortperson says
i’m two months back in to biglaw after baby #2. we upped our housekeeper to 4 days a week and we have a babysitter come every sunday afternoon for 4-6 hours to make sure work can get done. and i recently said no to a big pro bono project i’d love to do. but — no. my standard work is keeping me busy enough. i also turn down every extra weeknight thing im invited to. when i have a day that looks moderate i grab a little extra baby time — i.e. yesterday i billed 12.5 hours but this morning i brought the baby to coffee and the grocery store after dropping off big.
shortperson says
we also moved our housekeeper to come earlier so that she can help get everyone into the car. i.e. she gets the bags together, pulls big’s lunch together, and carries baby to car. she holds baby when necessary, helps with sunscreen, etc. she could do daycare dropoff if necessary but my 3yo would be unhappy and so far it hasnt been necessary.
LittleBigLaw says
Thanks all. We don’t have any help at all right now (both kiddos in daycare but no nanny or housekeeper) and I’m drowning. I think it’s time to pull the trigger and hire someone.
AwayEmily says
Ugh when you run out for an errand for 25 minutes and come home to find your husband has thawed 8 oz of milk “just in case” (note my 2-month-old eats maaaaaybe 3 oz per feeding, and still mostly refuses to drink from a bottle, so I’m not sure exactly what he thought he was going to do with all that milk — bathe him in it??)
shortperson says
i would refreeze it, but i live on the wild side.
NewMomAnon says
+1
Meg Murry says
That or let your husband try to give the baby the bottle, while you pump and then go have a beer or 3 – or a nap!
Anonymous says
It should be good for 24 hours in the fridge no?
AwayEmily says
For sure, but unfortunately he won’t need a bottle in the next 24 hours. I think I’m going to take Meg Murry’s suggestion and use this as an opportunity for the baby to practice drinking from a bottle, and for me to practice sleeping.
KateMiddletown says
Yep. And if you need to, pump some more to freeze again. The cycle continues. And also yeah, beer or three.
SC says
I’d pump when you need to, have a glass of wine, and take a nap.
Anonymous says
Sorry for TMI, but I’m struggling with postpartum constipation and could use advice from anyone who’s been there. I’m 6 weeks pp. I’ve been dutifully taking my colace since leaving the hospital and I added in metamucil a couple weeks ago with minimal effect. I’m going fairly regularly (every other day or so) but it’s hard and super painful. I drink lots of water (my pee is almost clear). I haven’t changed my diet and I never had this issue before pregnancy or during pregnancy. I think the real problem is that I used to be fairly active and now I’m not, but I don’t see that changing as long as I’m home alone all day on maternity leave. The baby doesn’t sleep much except in my arms and whenever my husband is home to watch her I want to be napping not exercising. The weather is too cold here to even go for a walk outside with the baby although I’m hoping that will change within a few weeks. I mentioned it to my doctor and she seemed pretty unconcerned as long as I’m going regularly, but I’m uncomfortable and don’t want this to be my new normal.
Anonymous says
I would stop the metamucil and try to eat more fruit – pears, peaches, plums and some prune juice.
Also, try walking more – I know that’s hard but it can really make a difference. Do you have a baby carrier? If you’re carrying baby, your body heat will help keep baby warm. Just put baby in sleeper, into the carrier, zip up your coat (or borrow one from your DH), wrap a pashmina/scarf around the upper part of the carrier – make sure baby’s head is not covered – just use a little hat. I’m in Canada and we even take our babies snowshoeing! You can totally go outside with baby. Even a walk around the block can make a huge difference.
AwayEmily says
I echo Anonymous — if you’re physically able, put the baby in a carrier and go for a walk outside. winter babies are not fun but I tell myself it’s good for them to be out in the cold! (mine is 2 months and it’s only just now creeping above 30 degrees here…we have done a lot of very chilly walks).
Alternatively — what about ordering a yogaball and bouncing on that while you hold the baby?
Sorry you are dealing with this…it’s tough being physically uncomfortable on top of everything else.
Other food suggestions to get things moving: coffee (caf or decaf), greens (maybe a spinach and fruit smoothie?)
2 Cents says
I drink a smoothie every morning that’s helping me stay regular at 37 weeks: frozen (cut leaf) spinach, handful or two of frozen strawberries, flaxseed, 1 tsp of dutch cocoa, 1 scoop of chocolate protein powder. I add 1 c of whole milk and some water, but you could just do water. A minute in the nutribullet = tastes like a (light) chocolate milkshake. I think the spinach and flaxseed has helped.
Anon says
This does get better. Definitely add the “p” fruits (pears, peaches, plums) to your diet, with prunes and prune juice too. Eat healthy fats, pour on the olive oil, don’t be afraid to use a little butter, take a fish oil supplement, etc. Probiotics may also help, but get good quality if you are b*feeding. Get a squatty potty or at least a stool to brace yourself on. Push your healthcare provider if necessary for hemorrhoids treatment, for some reason they seem to brush off the pain of new moms. Keep up the water and try to walk if you can, but I agree that sleep is the priority.
Anon says
Not the same thing, but we recently went through this with our child who was having about the same symptoms as you (still going but very tough to go). FWIW, the recommendations for her were to avoid dairy until she got regular (even yogurt which they recommend for regularity with diarrhea but not constipation), non-citrus fruit juice (whatever she would drink – we landed on pair), and high fiber foods. We did prune smoothies for her for a week. Pear juice for the liquid, prunes, and some other fruit to hide the prunes – berries, pineapple, pears, etc. It took her about a full week or a little more, but she’s back on track now. Also warm baths to help relax the muscles.
My nurses after she was born recommended that I get lots of warm liquids to help – broths, tea, etc.
KateMiddletown says
Ugh, I feel so badly for you. I had very bad constipation PP and cried a few times because it was (Almost) as painful as labor. Milk of magnesia + smooth move tea + gross glycerin suppositories eventually got things moving but it took a while to get completely empty (gross again, sorry.) Honestly all the prunes just made it worse for me – try juices instead of adding more bulk to your already full bowels.
mascot says
Have you tried magnesium citrate? It’s pretty gentle on the system and I’m pretty sure it’s safe for BF (do your research). I found plum juice to be more pleasant than prune juice.
Anonymous says
Ask your doctor about miralax. I have this issue both pregnant and postpartum and there isn’t enough fruit or water in the world to deal with it.
NewMomAnon says
Are you bf’ing? If so, I was also going to suggest asking your doctor about miralax. (if you’re not bf’ing, start taking it now and skip your doctor, unless you’ve got other complicating factors). I had a weird medical condition postpartum that required daily use of miralax, and it’s effective but more gentle for long-term use than colace/milk of magnesia/etc. Keep using it (with metamucil) for a while after things resolve because you need to let everything heal.
Also, if this continues – it may be a sign of a pelvic floor issue. Push your OB, there are a lot of resources for pelvic floor rehab.
And hugs. Having a new baby is hard, adding random icky symptoms on top of it is no fair.
octagon says
Miralax or mineral oil were the only things that worked for me.
Anonymous says
I’m probably an outlier, but postpartum, colace made me SO CONSTIPATED. It was awful. I stopped taking it, upped the P fruits (as noted above), and got back to normal in a couple of days.
GGFM says
I struggled with similar constipation early in both pregancies, but not pp, so not sure if this will help in your situation. But I found that in addition to all of the dietary recs (fruit, veggies, lots of water, etc), a cup of coffee and bowl of yogurt in the morning, followed by a walk seemed to move things along – the walking was really crucial. If I skipped the mornign walk then I was back to square 1 for a few days. I did the same routine post partum, but from the very beginning, so it’s impossible to know if I was at risk of constipation then to begin with. To keep newborn 1 warm in January in Chicago I used a boba wrap and wore a coat. Sometimes I swaddled her in the sleep sack before putting into the sling, both for extra warmth and because it was easier to transfer her into the bassinet if she fell asleep on the walk.
Junior League? says
Does anyone have any opinions (good or bad) on Junior League? I know it varies a ton by chapter and geographic region. But I’m considering it and would love to hear some anonymous, unfiltered thoughts. FWIW, I’m in the Midwest, and my chapter would be in a smaller metro area. Thanks in advance!
NewMomAnon says
Our local junior league in a larger midwest city tends to be women over the age of 60 with lots of money and lots of free time. I found the expectations to be completely unreasonable for a working (single) mom. But your mileage may vary!
IUI or IVF says
I hope I’m not too late in the day, but I’m just back from the RE.
we’ve been trying to TTC for #2 for 6 months, and as I’m almost 40 my ob ran a bunch of tests. Turns out the result isn’t great. More tests will come next week (FSH and estrogen) an d if they’re bad too, the options will be limited. But for now, just is between trying IUI for 1 or 2 cycles (10% change of success, but 10% the cost of IVF) or straight to IVF (30-40% of chance of success).
anyone has experience in doing either or both? how did you make your choice?
for now, I’m leaning towards IUI first, just because I dread drugs and anesthesia, but I don’t want to waste precious time…
thanks for your help
Jeffiner says
No advice, but hugs. Secondary infertility sucks. We’ve been TTC #2 for over 6 months as well, but we’re trying Clomid for three cycles before moving on to IUI/IVF. I’m interested to see what others advise.
NewMomAnon says
Hugs. Have not been there, but have a number of friends and colleagues who have – most of them have skipped IUI and gone straight to IVF. I think partly because Medical Reasons, but mostly because it’s so emotionally draining and disruptive to go through round after round of failed fertility treatments.
PinkKeyboard says
I found IUI almost as annoying as IVF tbh. I was using injectables and had all the appointments…. husband still had to come deliver a sample… if you have the money I’d go straight to IVF. We used for both kids.