Nursing/Postpartum Tuesday: Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil
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The way I feel about using coconut oil postpartum is the way the dad in My Big Fat Greek Wedding feels about Windex. It will cure what ails you. I used it both on myself and on my baby in various ways. Here’s the short list: on nipples after a nursing session instead of expensive nipple balms, on my dried out and flaking lips (drink water, nursing moms!), on cuticles, on postpartum stitches, on baby’s cradle cap, on baby’s eczema, on baby’s diaper rash, mixed with baby’s moisturizer after the bath. I’ll qualify this by saying I am not a doctor, so I can’t promise that this will work for you personally, but it’s inexpensive, and if it doesn’t work on your baby you can cook with it! Nature’s Way Organic Extra Virgin Olive Oil
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Psst: Looking for more info about nursing clothes for working moms, or tips for pumping at the office? We’ve got them both…
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
I decided within about five minutes that if I was going to dip my fingers repeatedly into the pot of coconut oil and apply it to bottoms I had better not use it for anything else (so diaper cream was totally out for hygiene reasons unless we wanted one pot for diaper cream and one pot for other applications). I did find it made a great (and if nothing else, mostly harmless) n*pple cream but was completely useless for baby’s cradle cap…but boy, did he smell delicious.
Random recommendation – I’ve had a plastic case from Muji for holding cards for years and realized that this might help someone else feel more organized. I use it to hold all those memberships, gift cards and reward cards and accessories (e.g. the botanic garden membership comes with separate guest passes and parking passes). It’s small and sturdy enough that I can throw it in my bag, but usually it lives in my desk. I find it so much easier to use a smaller wallet thanks to this thing – I only keep the essentials in my wallet and the rest is in here. I just looked it up online to see if they still have it, and they do and it’s $1.50! I’m going to post the link separately, but you can also search the muji website for “PP card holder” – I have the 60 pocket version.
(I also recommend their laundry hanging things for hang drying delicates)
I just wanted to take a minute to thank everyone for their comments on my post yesterday. It was immensely helpful to read everyone’s suggestions. It is nice to know that other women struggle with this issue. My husband will do nearly anything I ask but will never be the husband who on his own realizes that he should do X, Y, or Z related to cleaning and some less obvious childcare needs. But he also acknowledges that the organizational work I do takes time and stress and gives me “credit” for it. You all are right that I need to identify my own specific needs and then communicate to him how to meet those needs. I really appreciate all the input. Currently, I let it all build up and then explode which is terrible. But he also can’t know anything is wrong if I don’t tell him. Thanks to the posters who recognized that even though a husband is dense he can be a good husband, father, and person. We are at a rough patch because winter won’t end and both my husband and I have mostly hobbies that are outdoors.
Also, Man Who Has it All, FTW! Thanks for that bit of wisdom!!!
PSA: Just got a call from the school nurse that my son had an “odd, circular type rash on his right cheek.” After about 15 seconds of panic, I realized that I put on red-ish lipstick and gave him a big kiss on his right cheek and didn’t wipe off the lipstick. So PSA to wipe of the lipstick to avoid the panicked call from the nurse.
TLDR: mom stuff
This morning I got quite upset at my mom, and now I am still upset and also feel guilty for how I handled it. She had been emailing and texting about how much she misses my son so I had him FaceTime with her this morning. During the call she asked me repeatedly about some money she gave us for him like six months ago. She basically said she has “no way of knowing if it’s in the right account” and “likes [her] money to go where it is supposed to”. I have no idea where that came from and I told her (again! because I told her this back when I deposited it!) that I transferred it to “his” savings account. Then she was asking questions because it’s really just a designated savings account and not under his name officially. Then she asked if I wanted her to set up his own bank account for him. I said no. We concluded the FaceTime call, but I was really steamed. It felt like she was accusing me of embezzling money from a one year old!
I set what I think were civil texts afterwards saying that if she doesn’t feel comfortable giving us money for him she doesn’t need to. We didn’t ask for it and we don’t need it. And that we appreciate the gift, but we are not changing how we save his money. I see that she read it (thanks, iphone) but hasn’t responded. And now I feel guilty, which I’m mad at myself for, because I think this was a valid thing to be upset about! And I think I responded in a measured fashion.
My husband said he thought the texts were fine but maybe that’s because he could see me tearing up as we headed out the door. I feel really sad and emotional and teary about this (I’m sure in part because my post-weaning periods are still a bit of a roller coaster). I don’t even know what I’m asking for except maybe ways to stop feeling teary about this at work!
We are supposed to drive 2.5 hours to see them this weekend which is inconvenient, as my husband has to work Saturday morning, it’s my SD’s birthday on Friday, and I’ve been traveling so I feel like everything is behind on the house. I think I feel more frustrated because I feel like I work really hard for my parents to talk to and see my kid when they don’t live locally and there’s still all these strings attached and things I’m not doing right. UGH CHILDHOOD!
ugh I have a long post in mod and I’m too sad to try to resend it, but please send me good vibes as I had a stressful issue with my mom this morning and I’m in one of those vaguely teary spots where I feel like I could leak tears at any moment.
I’m hoping for some feedback to this mental block of mine. I am a real person, I promise. One of my biggest anxieties around pregnancy/baby rearing is br3@st feeding. For this reason, when ‘gardening’ I enjoy ‘br3@st feeding for fun.’ My anxiety is that when it comes to the for nutrition variety that I may enjoy it as I do for fun and what a p3rv3rt I would be then. Of if I don’t enjoy it for nutrition (fingers crossed) then will it no longer be fun with my partner? I figure this is a safe space so hopefully some of you have had this experience. TIA
So, over the weekend, I swear, swear, swear I saw a faint, faint, faint line on a Clear Blue pregnancy test two days in a row. Like, if you tilt it sideways, and squint, you can see the faintest pink line. I kind of allowed myself to get excited. I had leftover WondFo tests, and got one out this morning. It is absolutely negative — other than the test line, it’s white as white can be.
This is one of the last months we’ll try for a hoped for, but angsted about 3rd child (i.e., we have two, they are healthy, we get stressed just handling the two we have, $$$$, but man, I still feel like someone’s missing). I am sad, and a little disappointed, as given my age, we’ll probably stop trying after another month or two. I should technically get my period tomorrow or Thursday, so I know I’m early. I know it’s still possible, but if I’m being honest, I don’t really feel pregnant – I feel PMSy. Both of my other two pregnancies were discernible lines at this point, and I definitely felt pregnant. I don’t have much to say other than that I guess I’m adding another random trip to the Fall line-up.
I try to stay pretty chill about milestones, but I am a competitive Type A, and I could use some perspective. Preparing for my daughter’s 15-month checkup tomorrow (making sure I’ve thought of the questions I want to ask the ped, etc.) and I’m suddenly super-anxious that my daughter has a language delay. She has MAYBE three words (we think she said Dada once), and does not seem to have the level of receptive language she should. She only sometimes responds to her name, and I don’t think she knows many words. If I ask her to point to Dad or the ball or her milk, she can’t/doesn’t. This isn’t a super sudden realization, but I’m stressed about going to the ped and getting confirmation that she is, in fact, delayed.
Hi all! I’m six weeks post partum and I’ve missed the conversations here!
Thank you again for all of the C-section advice you all gave me, it was helpful to know what to expect.
Also, thanks to the conversation here, when the physical therapist at the hospital said I had pretty severe SPD I knew it was something I should follow-up with and advocate for myself to get physical therapy for. I’ve been going to physical therapy which has been so helpful, and to be honest I probably wouldn’t have taken it seriously or had the gumption to schedule/go to the appointments without reading the SPD convos that have taken place on this board.
Now to just survive the rest of maternity leave without losing my mind….
Accidentally posted this on the main site, so I’m reposting here. I’m about halfway through reading Drop the Ball. A lot of her experiences resonate with me, and it’s challenging me to think differently about how DH and I distribute the workload, even though I don’t completely agree with everything.
That said, so many of these work/life balance books tout the benefits of having a village. As an introvert who is especially loathe to ask for help, this is really tough for me. I have friends that I connect with, but it seems like part of having a village is having a lot of friends who live in close proximity. Despite living in a really family-oriented neighbor, I don’t feel like I have that close-knit village. We’re friendly with people, but not really friends, if that makes sense. I’ll admit that this is totally a failing of mine — when the work day is done, my focus is on my immediate family and I don’t have much energy left over for cultivating other relationships. Most of my friends are people I’ve known for years. Or my siblings/family members. I have focused my social energy on these people I love and adore, but they don’t necessarily live close enough to make it feasible for me to ask them to pick up my kids from school, for example. Or they have lives and busy families of their own, and I would feel like I’m imposing if I asked for tons of favors. My standard operating procedure is “don’t ask for help unless it’s a true emergency.”
I don’t know what I’m trying to say, other than … is this whole “village” thing somewhat of a myth? Or is it an extroverted personality thing? I totally know that I’m at fault for not having one, but I truly don’t get HOW busy working moms find the time and energy to build a village from scratch. I’m also terrible at turning acquaintances into friends, but maybe I need to put more effort into that?
I’ll admit, part of me is sort of turned off by the idea of making friends in order to offload the household work — maybe that’s not what she’s saying, but it kind of sounded that way at times?
Looking for Denver-area travel recommendations…
Trying to plan a trip to the Denver area with my siblings, all of our kids, and possibly our mother. This will include three couples and five kids (ages 7, 6, 4, 3, and 1). Any suggestions about nearby towns (would prefer not to drive much more than an hour outside of Denver), places to stay, stuff to do? It’s likely just a trip of about 3 days, and we’ll be arriving from 3 different time zones, so jet lag might be an issue. Leaning towards airbnb/VRBO rather than hotel.
This will be our first time attempting a vacation with three sibling couples and kids –we used to meet up for holidays in the state where we grew up, but that is no longer working for a variety of reasons. Any tips about how to negotiate expectations, coordinate plans, etc., would be wonderful.
Bath question – I had a three year old toddler (boy) now who gets a bath every night as part of the bedtime routine. I’m expecting a second (also boy) in September. How to parents handle the bath time with two kids? Should I start doing bath every other day with the toddler? In the beginning, the baby and the toddler can’t really have a bath together, right? Or I have this other idea that the toddler should start taking a shower with his dad. Any advice welcome!
I have an extremely active 10 month old who is walking. She needs to be constantly entertained if she’s not napping in the car seat. My sister is graduating and we’ll have a 4 hour car ride. Should I leave the baby with grandparents (who she sees all the time and would be very happy with) or attempt our first trip with baby? If you suggesting taking the baby, how would you suggest keeping her entertained at this age in the car?
She also screams for 10 minutes every night before bed when I put her in the crib, no matter how tired she is. Sleep has been a huge struggle for us, but she is finally sleeping from 7ish to 5:30, eat, then sleep until 6-6:30. She cannot sleep without fighting it though, so I’m nervous about how she’ll do overnight in a portable crib too in a hotel. I don’t want to resort to cosleeping or nursing to sleep or all these things that we’ve been working since 6 months to overcome.
Any thoughts?
Relating to the discussion yesterday about people feeling frustrated sometimes about husbands not helping out or carving out time for “me” time. Read the book “How to Not Hate Your Husband After Kids.” My husband and I both read it and found it helpful. It is also a pretty easy/light read and is written in an entertaining way so I definitely laughed out loud through parts of it.