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For most of us whose jobs have suddenly shifted from our offices to our homes, we’ve only had about a week to try to adjust to juggling childcare, homeschooling (well,”homeschooling”), and working from home.
We’ve talked about mistakes to avoid when working from home before, and over on Corporette we’ve discussed how to work from home effectively, but the situation that working parents now find themselves in is uncharted territory for all of us.
Have you found any strategies for how to work from home when school is closed? How is it going so far, and how are you holding up? Has your employer been understanding about the difficulties you’re facing? (Alternately, is your kids’ school still open? How do you feel about that decision?)
{update: check out Kat’s hunt for low-supervision activities to keep your kids busy while you’re working}
One of the most irritating things I’ve seen over the last week is the negative reaction to moms who are venting about being with with their families 24/7 — specifically, the hot takes from single people who don’t have kids. I keep seeing the same hypothetical questions: “Why would you marry someone you don’t even like?” and “Why did you have kids, then?” Ugh.
Most working moms are seriously stressed right now as we try to balance parenting with doing our jobs and teaching our kids (or at least keeping them busy), not to mention worrying about the pandemic itself … and the economy … and for some of us, our jobs.
So, readers, go ahead — vent away! (Also, check out last week’s recommendations from Kat and Corporette readers on how to deal with anxiety through laughter — some great ideas for TV shows, books, and more.)
Here are some tips on how to work from home when school is closed:
Split Up the Day with a Spouse or Partner
If your spouse is also working from home (and isn’t constantly on phone or video calls), plan ahead and divide up each day so that each of you gets blocks of interrupted work time. Otherwise, it’s far too easy for the default parent to take on more than their share.
This arrangement also helps if you only have one place in your home that’s suitable as a home office — either a separate room or another secluded space — because the two of you won’t always have to share (clearly not an ideal situation for phone and video calls). Carving out discrete times for each of you for exclusively parenting and exclusively working can help avoid resentment between the two of you — just don’t expect it to work perfectly.
How to Work From Home When School is Closed: Know Your Priorities
If you suddenly feel like you have to compress eight hours of work into far less than that each day, you’re not alone. The regular productivity advice becomes all the more important now. Each morning, make a list of THREE THINGS that you absolutely need to (and can) get done with the time you have. Be mindful of the tools you need for the job, as well as the energy required, and the factors that may stop you.
For example, if you get up before your kids (or have shifted your sleep schedule to do so) but wake them up if you move around too much, this is the ideal time for reading reports in bed, responding to emails on your phone, or reviewing someone else’s work.
(Some of the tools we mentioned in our advice on how to cut down on printing at home, like the Kindle and the app Good Notes, might be helpful here; Kat’s always loved her Bluetooth keyboard for this kind of work as well.)
On the flip side, if some work is far easier with “desktop/full office setup tools,” such as dual monitors, numeric keypads, and a printer for frequent printouts and revisions, then you may want to prioritize that work when you have unfettered access to your desktop.
Be Strategic About Screen Time
If your kids have schoolwork, try to coordinate those tasks with the times of day that they’re usually the most agreeable and the least tired (which for many is early to mid-morning). This will involve some guesswork, but at least it gives you a basic structure for the day. Also, aim to give screen time during the time periods when being interrupted by your kids would be the most inconvenient. (We all remember this viral video.)
If you use PCs at home, you can use Microsoft Family to either schedule screen time or dole it out (or not) as your kids request it. (It’s not perfect, and it can be glitchy at times, but it’s a big help.) You can also set app and game limits and content restrictions, which include the option to allow certain websites. If you have a child who doesn’t do well with transitions, give them a couple of reminders before it’s time for a break from screens (“15 more minutes of screen time!”, “Only 5 more minutes left!”).
Don’t Forget Naps and Baths
In addition to screentime, your kids may have other periods where you can reliably get work done. Naptime is obvious, if you still have nappers, but bathtime is another opportunity, assuming they’re old enough that you don’t have to about them drowning or slipping. (If you have young kids and you’re the default bathtime-parent, and your partner is taking on the task for the first time, give them our tips to make bathtime easier.)
Take Advantage of Free Online Educational Resources
It can be hard to avoid feeling guilty about giving your kids too much screen time (even in the midst of a pandemic — OK, at least in the beginning stages of one), but these educational sites and shows can at least teach your kid something while you enjoy some uninterrupted, or semi-uninterrupted, time to get work done. Check out Common Sense Media’s list of the best sites, apps, and games for kids from preschool to 13+, along with these links:
Free educational sites (and free trials):
- Scholastic’s Learn at Home
- Khan Academy
- The New York Times Learning Network
- ABCmouse (for kids 2–8; one month free)
- Adventure Academy (for kids 8–13; one month free)
- Crayola Create & Learn at Home
Ebooks and TV shows
- Audible has begun offering free audiobooks for kids (for desktop, laptop, phone, and tablet — and in six languages).
- Use the Libby app to borrow ebooks and audiobooks from the library.
- Free children’s ebooks are available on Project Gutenberg.
- The blog Homeschool Hideout has rounded up educational shows/videos on Netflix, Hulu, Prime Video, YouTube.
Lower Your Standards
I’m pretty sure that no working mom is currently getting all her workouts done, constantly eating a healthy diet, serving her kids balanced meals daily, getting enough sleep every night, wearing non-pajama clothing at all times, and being a model employee. Actually, I’m 100% sure.
Maybe you’ve made one of those pristine, color-coordinated schedules for your kids — you know, the ones that are all over the internet now — or maybe you never will. Maybe you threw yours away after Day 1, when you realized a typical day would be more like this. In general, what has really helped me is hearing other working moms’ experiences — whether from talking to friends on the phone, seeing “real” posts on social media, or reading essays like this one from The New York Times.
Do you have any tips for how to work from home when school is closed? Is your spouse or partner working from home too? What has been the biggest challenge? How are you dividing responsibilities?
Further Reading on How to Work From Home When School is Closed:
- 13 Parents on Navigating Child Care Right Now [The Cut]
- A Guide for Working (From Home) Parents [Harvard Business Review]
- Coronavirus Triple Duty: Working, Parenting, And Teaching From Home [NPR]
- “I Feel Like I Have Five Jobs”: Moms Navigate the Pandemic [NYT]
- When Your Home Becomes Your Office and Daycare [Medium – Rachel Sklar]
Stock photo via Shutterstock / Iakov Filimonov.
Cb says
We’ve got a family schedule, my husband works 8-12, we all break for lunch, and then I work 1-5. It’s not easy, and I’m struggling with focused work but I hope we’ll get used to it eventually.
7:00am – wake up, dress, stories in bed, breakfast
8:00am – husband starts work, toddler and I read, play, and get dressed
10:00am – nursery Zoom call
10:30am – off on walk in the woods or to visit nearby construction site
12:00pm – home for lunch and prep for nap
1:00pm – I start work, husband puts son down for nap
3:00pm – son up, an hour of screentime, bath, playtime
5:00pm – I finish work and start prepping dinner
5:45pm – dinner, playtime, prep for bed
7:00pm – bedtime, showers for us, yoga, veg
I feel like I should be working early and late but just can’t muster the energy as the tasks on my plate are very high focus at the moment. Waiting for guidance to come out from the university, may take special leave (paid and may push my contract out another month or two) until nursery re-opens.
Anon says
I know you’re not in the US but most of the universities here are giving untenured faculty automatic one year tenure clock extensions as a result of the virus. Hopefully they’ll do the same thing in the UK.
Pogo says
Problem for us is we ARE on calls all the time. We both have collaboration-heavy jobs, with little individual contributor work like writing reports or data analysis. Husband has taken the office and I’ve taken my “makeup nook” (like, tiny walk-in closet area that is the access point to our walk-up attic) because it does have a desk and more key to me a window, which I don’t even have at my real office! We are now trying to compare schedules at the beginning of the day and figure out who is on critical calls when, and move things if necessary.
I try to delay screentime if possible, doing it either right before lunch or when he gets up from nap. Trying to stick to storytime, music class, and Daniel Tiger so everything is educational-adjacent at least. Getting exercise in for all of us is an unsolved challenge. My original plan was after nap to take him outside to play, but the weather has not been cooperating and he thought Cosmic Kids was weird and wouldn’t do the moves. If schedules allow we’ve been doing some indoor workouts during naptime for ourselves. I did snap at DH yesterday after he said he would be “10 more minutes” at around 4:45pm and did not grace us with his presence til after 6. We have such a regimented schedule normally the uncertainty of every day is getting to me.
I do have to question working during bath – how long do your kids bathe for??? Mine is young enough that he has to be supervised, but even tho DH mostly does bath, its like 15min max. I’ve been using the time to quickly scan headlines on my phone and respond to personal emails, since it’s usually the first time all day I’ve had a break from work/toddlering. Today has been slower thank goodness – if every day were nonstop for 15 hours like yesterday I’d lose my friggin mind.
Cb says
My son would happily spend an hour in the bath. We keep topping it up with warm water and roll out toys / activities throughout. It’s a good way to kill some time, and yesterday my husband cleaned the toilet and the sink while supervising baths. But he only bathes twice a week normally, we couldn’t manage every day.
Anon says
We have a handheld shower in our bathroom and I admit that today I let my 1 and 4 year old take a shower for 45+ mins with bath toys while I took a call. I stayed near by, but this way I wasn’t freaking out that they would drown. I viewed it as a win vs. more screen time…
Lyssa says
Just for bath in general (not related to the current issue), my strategy (for a 4 and 7 year old, who bathe separately), is to get them in, get them washed up, and then set a timer for 5 minutes to play. If I’m really lucky, one will want a shower, and I can get one set up in the bath, then get the other in the (separate) shower, then go back to the bath-goer. But otherwise, I use that 5 minutes to straighten up in the bathroom/bedroom and put away clothes.
But (unless someone else handled it), I definitely couldn’t use it for any substantive work time.
Leatty says
Since my company is global and has directed employees in the US to not log on prior to 1 PM so we don’t overload the system, I’m watching DD in the morning until her nap starts around 1, while DH works. I’m still expected to monitor emails and hop on calls as needed, but so far it isn’t been too awful. DD naps from 1-3ish, while we both work, and then DH watches DD until I log off around 6. Depending on our workloads, we plan to work after she goes to bed. Of course, we’re both so exhausted by the time she goes to bed that neither of us has any energy to work or do anything else.
Anon says
DH and I have been trading 2 hour shifts. He takes care of our 2 year old from 8 am to 10 am while I work, then I do 10 am to noon, then she naps from noon to 1:30 and we both work (theoretically, although lately I have been taking a nap then too…being stuck at home makes me want to nap!), then he does 1:30 to 3:30, then I do 3:30-5:30 and then we do family dinner, playtime and bedtime routine until she goes to bed around 7 pm. I should be working after her bedtime but I have been so exhausted that I usually just watch some TV and go to sleep.
Screens give us a break from hands-on parenting and non-stop toddler chatter but don’t really give us time to work, because our work requires a lot of focus and our kid still wants to be cuddled up next to us if she’s watching TV and still needs help working the games. So we use screens in ~15 minute intervals to give ourselves a bit of a break, but not as a way to get work done.
Billables says
How have those who bill their time been managing this? I’m staying on top of the work that’s there, but there’s just no way I can get a respectable number of hours in with a toddler at home (not to mention that things are slow with courts closed.)
Anonymous says
How much do you need to bill per day?
anon says
I’m just not billing enough, and that’s that. The work is very slow and there’s an infant to take care of. Is it great? Nope. Is it reality? For now. I quietly compared productivity with colleagues and found that we are all in a similar boat except for one person with older kids, and even she is still only billing 5-6 a day, which is about what I’ve been shooting for.
Anon says
I’m not a lawyer, so don’t have billable hours, but my husband and I both work in finance. So on top off two toddlers at home, the markets have been nuts, and we are all being encouraged to lean in more to help clients. I’m effectively working half days and trying to fly under the radar about this, but it’s been stressful. (Though in the grand scheme of global problems right now, I realize this is not near the top of the list.)
Anon says
Glad to hear I’m not the only one. I’ve been averaging around 4-5. Not ideal or even “acceptable” but it’s tough when there isn’t a lot of work to be done in the first place and I have to balance childcare.
Anonymous says
I can get about 7-9 hours a day , but its exhausting doing the following:
7:30-9am: Get kiddo up, breakfast, dressed,
9-2pm: I work, DH watches kiddo (5 hours with no breaks and no lunch) (Kiddo has a morning nap so DH can triage email during nap)
2-7: I watch kiddo, DH works (Kiddo might take an afternoon nap; so I triage email during nap)
7-8:30: Dinner, bath, walk dog, etc.(can sort of triage email during dinner, but not really)
8:30-11:30pm: DH and I both work (3 hours with no breaks)
Anonymous says
I’m getting in 7.5 with the following schedule:
5-7 am: I work
7-8 am: get kiddo up, snuggle together to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, start breakfast
8-11 am: Parent 1 works, Parent 2 watches kiddo
11-1ish: Parent 2 works, Parent 1 gives kiddo lunch and gets kiddo down for nap
1-2:30: Parents 1 and 2 work while kiddo naps
2:30-3:00 Parent 1 gets kiddo up from nap and watches kiddo; Parent 2 still working
3-4: Whoever needs to work most works (usually DH so I can then run at 4)
4-5: DH watches kiddo while I run and shower
5:30-7:30: everyone is together for dinner, bedtime, general evening responsibilities
7:30-8: we switch off getting kiddo down, other parent usually relaxes
8-10: DH usually exercises and then works late (he works later and then gets up later in the morning and I am the opposite); I finish up whatever I need to get to 7.5 and then relax. We try our best to hang out together most weekend nights and once during the week for an hour or two.
Anon says
Still trying to figure it out. I’m on a reduced schedule, but have enough non-billable/management time that I really need 7 hours of time a day to get my hours in, and if it’s interrupted/disrupted with noise everything takes longer.
Basicall, I have to wake up and get working by 5am. My husband really can’t telework, but has flexible hours, so once I realized that I can’t be home alone with our 5 year old and get enough work done and stay sane, I asked that he stay home until noon or so and be in charge of the kid. The challenge is “in charge of the kid” needs to translate to “don’t even acknowledge that mom is in the house” which is hard when my office is in an open basement. So I’m moving a temporary workspace into our bedroom, and will move up there during the day.
My almost graduated college stepdaughter has a room here (one of three rooms with a door) and won’t be here until this is all over, but my husband balked when I suggested we _temporarily_ turn her room into an office. I may need to get a really loud keyboard and type when he’s trying to sleep…:-)
Long post short — I don’t have a working plan in place, but this week seems better than last…
Anonanonanon says
My husband has an essential job and cannot work from home. So I’m home alone with my 15 month old from 7 to 4 each day. All I know to do is bill during her nap (which is still only 1.5 hours on a good day) and once he is home at 4 and until I give up at night. I really hate this. Taking any and all suggestions. I can plop my kid down in a playpen for a bit but it’s never for long.
Anonymous says
Can big brother entertain her for any amount of time?
Anonanonanon says
No big brother here. Just me and the kid until husband gets home.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Our schedule for two WFH parents with two kids (almost 4 and 17 months): I have the morning shift of watching them 7-9:30am, while husband works. Husband then watches them from 9:30-12:30pm, including lunch. Toddler goes down for a nap at around 12:30 and luckily sleeps for 2-3 hours. I watch our older one from 12:30-1:30, then he naps. Then we’re both working, and husband takes over to watch them again 3-5:30ish. I log in at night if needed. So far, we’re doing a combined total of about 2 hours of screentime per day, which is standard for our weekends so I’m pretty happy with that. That may increase! Other activities include: Playing downstairs in the play room, outside time usually twice a day, painting with the older one, puzzles and games. No “homeschooling” as I don’t think they need it now at their ages.
Coach Laura says
I have to say that I am in awe of all you moms with kids at home. Mine are grown (both on healthcare front lines, which is another worry) and so DH and I are both at home working. We each have a room with a desk, windows, quiet and I often work while the tv is on (often on mute) in the kitchen when not on phone calls.
So anyone who is at home with a partner and kid(s), you have many kudos and much respect from me. Hang in there.
Anon says
Is anyone (at law firms in particular) still getting pushback on WFH? I’m currently working at home, which our firm officially has said is okay, but a lot of the partners seem to not be on board at all.
It’s frustrating to feel like I’m going to be (likely unofficially) penalized for this when I’m just trying to follow my state’s recommendations and to protect myself and those around me. I don’t work in health care or anything even remotely related to what’s currently going on. It’s so frustrating and disappointing.
Anonymous says
No. Our official policy is everyone is encouraged to WFH; staff is required to WFH to the extent they are able. A lot of the 55+ partners are going in and “keeping their distance”. Ginormous eyeroll.
So Anon says
I’m a single mom to my 6 and 9 year olds, and here is what I have done so far: I moved my desk from the living room to my bedroom. I WFH regularly and love working downstairs, but I could not be productive with My Little Pony in the background and the sound of magnatiles collapsing constantly. I can shut my door and surrender the main floor to the kids. It is a disaster, but its worth it. I made a pizza over the weekend just for the kids to have for lunch every other day this week. It takes two seconds to reheat pizza and I don’t get any push back or have to figure out what’s for lunch. I try and get an hour or two of homeschooling done in the morning and involve my kids in cooking dinner (math time! with reading instructions!), and call it good. I have a lovely back deck that serves as the place I go to scream or cry a couple of times each day.
Coach Laura says
I meant to include single parents in my shout-out above but you are doing great, SoAnon and I hope it goes quickly for you.
CSDC says
Thank you ALL for these anecdotes – it makes me feel so much better that I’m not doing well at ANYTHING right now. My job is suffering, I’m not the greatest parent, a mediocre “teacher” and a terrible wife right now. My job is insanely busy (work in the security field) because of the pandemic, and while my husband and I are both WFH, it’s exhausting. I tried the parent/teacher during the day, then work at night, and burned myself out in the first week. I was reduced to sobs on Friday by 3pm. I can’t not put in a full day, as deadlines continue to pile up, and my husband has a higher pressure job too. We’ve been lucky that our neighbor’s daughter (age 12) has been able to come over for 2 hours a couple times a week, but as the pandemic gets worse, I’m not sure that will be a good or safe option much longer. I’m not sure how much longer I can sustain this – while my company is “understanding”, the work still needs to get done and on time.
It’s great to hear so many honest voices – because i’ve had to shut off facebook. Lots of friends that are teachers and not working at all right now (but getting paid), or SAHM that are like, “This is GREAT! I’m getting so much done, starting fun new projects, and hey! Here’s what Sally and Johnny mastered this week!..”. I don’t begrudge either groups, but seeing posts like that makes me feel like a failure and inadequate as a mother, wife, teacher and professional. And as I said to my husband “I can really only do one thing at a time well, and right now I’m doing 3-4 jobs and failing at all of them…”
So, thank you all for the honest comments. It really makes me feel less like a failure and less alone. :)
Anonymous says
You’re doing great! <3
HJ says
Amen! 2 parents WFH with infant and it is nuts. Baby was already on a schedule and we divide up the day but have to change it to accommodate calls, etc. failing at everything right now and feeling awfully alone. Only one on my team with a child AND working spouse. I’m grateful for our jobs but also can’t handle anymore “quarantine reading lists” or “take time to do those things you never can”. We are BUSIER than ever because now we have 3 full time jobs for only 2 adults during the same 12 hours of the day: infant care, my job, his job. It could be worse: no jobs or one of us sick….
KD Chan says
You’re not a failure and certainly not alone! I keep reminding myself it’s only temporary…it’s only temporary! Then the school district email comes through saying e-learning will continue til April 30.
Breathe. We will not drown in the stress of Covid-life.
CSDC says
Thanks all – Our schools are closed through the remainder of the school year, so we’re in this for the longterm – well the next 2 1/2 months. And they haven’t really started any e-learning at all yet. So we’ve all been on our own. Which IMO, is the hardest part. And they haven’t said when they may have something for us to go by. And we moved to our district because it’s supposed to be one of the best, and one of the wealthiest counties in the east coast. *eye roll*. But hearing from all of you really does help! :)
AJ says
We are technically on “spring break” so no curriculum support from school. I put together a list of Amazon Prime shows for my 10 & 8yo. They can pick one from each category. They have to write down one thing they learned and one question for each episode. Then they can play outside or have free time. It buys me at least two hours, often more time. And we talk about their questions at dinner, which has been fun.
Here is the list:
SPRING BREAK ON AMAZON
TECHNOLOGY
Gadgets & Gizmos
How Did They Make That?
How We Got to Now
Bizarre Science
Wow, I Never Knew That!
HowStuffWorks NOW
Annedroids Season 1
Xploration DIY Sci
How the Universe Works
Inventions that Shook the World
SciGirls Season 1
HISTORY
The Remarkable 20th Century
America’s Treasures
Symbols of America Series
Horrible Histories
Great Greek Myths
John, Paul, George and Ben
The Scrambled States of America
NATURAL SCIENCE
Science Magic Show Hooray!
Animal Encyclopedia
Nature: Fabulous Frogs
The Evolution of Us
Mankind: The Story of All of Us
Sea of Creepy Monsters
Scorpions – Death on 8 Legs
Owl’s Odyssey
ONE EPISODE EACH PER DAY
Word Girl
% Odd Squad
Superbook, Friends and Heroes, Bughouse or Animated New Testament