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This may seem strange for a nursing/postpartum recommendation, but stay with me here. When you have a newborn, the majority of the time they are either in your arms or on your breast. I found that when I was nursing, my mind would wonder to important things I needed to do or follow up with. While in a sleep deprived haze, a thought would enter my brain and leave like it was never there. Seventy five percent of the conversations with my husband started with, “Wait, I was going to tell you something… I forgot…” With Alexa, I could ask her what time it was (something I was constantly wondering in the newborn period), to start a timer, to set a reminder, read the news, or to play lullabies. The fact that I could just use my voice was so important, because sometimes I would locate my phone, pick it up, and forget why I was looking for it in the first place. (Now that I have a toddler, I mostly say, “Alexa, play ‘Baby Shark.'”) Alexa can be used on devices such as the Echo Dot, which is on sale for $29.99 and eligible for Prime. Echo Dot (3rd Generation) with Alexa Psst: Looking for more info about nursing clothes for working moms, or tips for pumping at the office? We’ve got them both… This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Mama Llama says
Alexa creeps me out, but a lot of my friends love them or Google home or whatever, so I’m clearly an outlier.
ElisaR says
totally creeps me out. i’m not letting that thing in my house!
Anon says
Creeps me out too. My friend gave me one and I regifted it. I don’t want a device listening to me all the time.
anon says
Agreed. Super creepy. I received one as a gift and haven’t even opened the box.
Anonymous says
My coworkers and I were just chatting the other day over lunch about how our jobs have made us too paranoid to adopt smart home technology. The extent to which these companies profile consumers is super creepy, and US privacy law leaves a lot to be desired. count me out.
Anon in NYC says
Yep. Apparently my husband got a free Google Home, which I’m not at all excited about. He wants to use it as a second speaker, but what’s to stop it from listening to us?!
Anonymous says
My co-worker once said “We need to buy some more [very specific processed food item]” while in the same room with her Alexa, in normal conversation without saying “Alexa.” The next day, the web browser on her work computer displayed ads for the exact item she had mentioned.
Doodles says
I have one in every room in the house (seriously my husband is considering 2 more for the bathrooms). They were helpful during the newborn period for lullabies, timers, reminders, etc. Now I use them for music, weather, news, podcasts, timers, and most of all as intercoms through the house. I don’t really think about them listening all the time…
Anon says
I sincerely hope they enjoyed listening to my child’s 5 months of colic and her current penchant for shrill excited shrieking at 16 months. We have one in just about every room in the house, and I just accept that someone somewhere is probably listening and that’s a price I pay. We use them for streaming music, to operate the lamps (a number of rooms don’t have overhead lighting), to operate the thermostat, kitchen timers, white noise for the baby, intercoms, the security system, the baby monitor. I was meh when my husband ordered them but being able to do all of that hands free and without getting up has been a game changer for us.
Anonymous says
I don’t have them because I am indifferent which means I’m not spending the money. That said, I assume they have other ways of listening to and watching me anyway that I’m already exploiting. I’m not sure how much having one of these types of items would add to it.
Return to Work says
First time poster here, but I frequently read the comments here and you ladies have the best advice! I’m wrapping up my maternity leave in a few weeks and am looking for any and all advice people have on going back to work – anything from tricks to making things run smoothly, to easing back into work to dealing with missing my baby. I won’t be pumping at work, baby will be in daycare with husband doing 90% of drop off/pick up since he has a predicable schedule most of the time but occasionally travels. I’m a transactional attorney with all the unpredictability that comes along with that so would especially appreciate advice from anyone who has an unpredictable schedule. Thanks so much!
Anon in NYC says
There have been a bunch of posts on this topic, so definitely poke around the site a bit more and I’m sure you’ll find much more detailed responses.
But, just a few tips: 1) do as much as you can the night before – pack up bottles for baby, pick your own outfit, etc. Minimize how much you need to think about or do in the morning; 2) expect some brain fog, even if you don’t recognize it as such. It took me about 1 year post partum to feel like me again. I wasn’t so out of it that I wasn’t functioning, but it was hard to find a groove on a lot of fronts; and 3) hire help if necessary.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Agree with what Anon in NYC said re: packing everything the night before and it taking a while to feel “normal” again. The best advice I’ve read here and elsewhere is to not make any changes for at least 6 months post-baby. You’ll likely feel a lot of emotions upon returning, including missing your baby and possibly not liking your job very much and wanting to quit, but give it some time for yourself to adjust. The first few months back are not representative of your entire working parent experience!
anon says
Sleep help! My 16 month old has been waking up every three hours like clockwork for the last week. Midnight, 3am, and 6am. He goes to bed at 8pm, which I know is pretty late, we’re working on that part. He goes down pretty easily and has a good bedtime routine. We are letting him cry it out when he wakes up, but its been pretty exhausting. He has slept through the night before, (as recently as last week), so I know he can do it. It just feels like we are sleep training every other week due to illnesses, travel, and visitors. argh.
Anon says
Is he cold or too warm? Is your heat kivking on at that time and waking him since he is near a vent? Just brainstorming about what could have changed.
anon OP says
ooh, thank you. I will look into the temp issue. One thing I forgot to mention: if husband goes in to comfort the baby via the sleep training method, baby screams and cries louder than ever. If i go in, he cries but then settles down fairly quickly. Is this a separation anxiety thing??
Anon in NYC says
14-16 months was a really rough stretch of sleep for us. So many developmental changes, plus illnesses, travel, switching rooms at daycare, etc. We finally started alternating who slept in our kid’s room because she would settle down with our presence. It was terrible!
I am a broken record about this, but a weighted blanket has worked wonders for our toddler’s sleep issues. But make sure your son is big enough for one (you’re definitely not supposed to use them sub-12 months, and there are weight minimums). My daughter had no problem falling asleep, but had serious issues with staying asleep. It was an almost instantaneous change for the better once we introduced the weighted blanket.
Anonymous says
Teething? 2 year old molars are super painful.
If it’s separation anxiety – babywearing in the evenings helped us a lot. Put baby on my back in the Ergo as soon as we got home until supper time and then again after supper until bedtime. Also occasionally did it when doing my makeup in the morning. Lots of phyiscal contact during awake hours seems to ease the need at night.
Anonymous says
Ha, I did my makeup with my 16mo on my lap this morning. He grabbed one of my brushes for blush/highlighter and started brushing it on his hair.
Canadian says
I would get his ears checked. Night wakings can often be the only sign of an ear infection.
AnotherAnon says
Is he still napping twice a day? I think my LO may have dropped his second nap around 16 months. Also, ear infections were usually the culprit of our nighttime wake-ups.
lawsuited says
Things to try:
1. Okay to Wake clock – since we introduced the clock at 19 mo our LO still wakes up but has stopped crying for us because the clock signals whether we’ll come and get him or not. I was shocked how quickly LO caught on and highly recommend.
2. Tylenol in case teething?
3. Overnight diapers – a really full diaper is uncomfortable even if it doesn’t leak and may be waking LO up. I’ve found that the Honest overnight diapers are still really flexible when extremely full
4. Extra soothers/lovey in the crib?
5. Both parents putting LO to bed together with lots of hugs and kisses and cuddling while reading books
Also, I turn off the monitor when LO is crying. I can hear his wailing from down the hall and don’t find that having an amplified version of it reverberating through my bedroom helps anyone.
Anon says
My 16 month old goes to bed at 10 (really 11), so don’t feel bad (at least she sleeps until 9). We’ve had some increasing wakeups at night lately – I don’t know if it’s separation anxiety, fear of the dark, teething, or some combination thereof. We’ve had the monitor off for months now, so I only hear her if she’s really wailing, which at least has helped me get some sleep when she wakes up, squawks and falls back asleep. We’ve also started giving tylenol or motrin before bed again, depending on when she last ate, which has been the most helpful (her poor little cheeks are so red, which is definitely a teething sign for her). I leave the nightlight on in the bathroom across the hall now too, so it’s not pitch black in her room, so that seems to help. We are also transitioning to 1 nap a day, but it still varies widely, and I think that’s contributing to the issues. I also try to do a lot of playing and cuddles in the hour or so before bed, that seems to help too.
anon OP says
Thank you all for all of your help! Another thing I forgot to mention: He is on one nap a day at daycare, but he has a hard time making it to the noon naptime. He usually lays down on the floor right after he is done eating lunch. Daycare makes all kids over 1 year old take only one nap. For a while they let him take two naps, but then he would miss lunch entirely. Could sleep deprivation cause him to wake up all night? That doesn’t make sense…but I am also sleep deprived so I don’t even know what sense is anymore!
Anon says
Sometimes when they get overtired they wake up more at night. Since it sounds like 1 nap is not adjustable, maybe it’s worth trying an earlier bedtime.
just Karen says
Yes – sleep deprivation can absolutely make it harder for him to sleep through the night. Since the nap doesn’t sound flexible, you will have to look at an earlier bedtime – I know it SUCKS to miss out on the evening time, but you will enjoy the waking hours so. much. more. when you are all rested. We had to put our LO down around 6pm at that age because she was so sensitive to sleep issues – at 4 we still struggle, but the early bedtime really helped (she slept better then than she does now…which makes me think I need to get us back on track to an earlier bedtime than we are currently doing!)
ElisaR says
today was hat day at daycare, i dropped my sons off with one in a santa hat and one in an elf hat. One of the male teachers had a MAGA hat on. I am really bothered by it. I don’t agree politically with him, but what do I care that he’s wearing it?? Feel free to tell me I’m crazy but it’s bothering me all morning.
RR says
I would be bothered too. Daycare hat day is just not the time for political statements of that magnitude, period. Winter hats, costumey hats, sports hats, etc. Not MAGA hats.
HSAL says
Agreed. That would be something I’d feel strongly enough about to mention to the director.
Mama Llama says
I don’t think a teacher should be wearing anything with a political message on it. I would be bothered by this too.
AIMS says
Would you be as bothered by a teacher in a pink ——-cat? If no, then you’re being crazy. Either way, I’d let it go.
Anon says
Not a fair analogy at all. Pink p*sy hats are more ambiguous and less clearly political (my mom has had a hat like that for years that pre-dates any political context, she just likes the style and color). I also don’t think you can equate MAGA with anti-Trump protests. MAGA is an overtly racist, anti-immigrant slogan that signals support for a serial sexual abuser. You can’t say that about the pink protest hats.
Defend to the death your right to say it says
Sure you can– you can say that the pink protest hats are exclusionary to one very specific brand of feminism, dismissive of white feminists based on the assumption they haven’t done anything for black feminism (whether they have or not), denigrating towards anyone who believes in life at conception, and vulgar (p**** is, like it or not, a bad word). I DO NOT THINK THESE THINGS!!! But that’s the criticism of the pink hats, for some. And that criticism is equivalent to your criticism of MAGA hats. You don’t get to allow the political statements you agree with and silence the ones you don’t. (EVEN THOUGH I AGREE WITH YOU IN EVERY WAY)
Anon says
Discrimination is not equivalent to opposition to discrimination. I agree that a pro-choice button and a pro-life button are equivalent political statements, regardless of how you feel about abortion. But MAGA is much deeper than just an expression of a political belief like being pro-life. I know the right makes the argument that “discrimination” against hateful people is the same as discrimination based on race or sex, but it’s not. It’s a false equivalency.
And if you’re trying to make a first amendment argument, of course he has a legal right to wear it, but people can choose not to do business with him (ie complain to director or remove their children from the center if he’s the director). There’s no first amendment right to speak your mind free of consequences. It’s a right to speak your mind free of the threat of jail/govt intervention.
Anonymous says
With all due respect, this is your opinion and a huge, inaccurate generalization of people who voted for Trump.
Anonymous says
mmmm people who would proudly wear a MAGA hat in public are a subset of people who voted for Trump. I have some friends who are Trump voters, and they did it IN SPITE OF the awful connotations (which they are fully aware of) of the MAGA movement. They draw a very clear distinction between supporting Trump & his agenda and support for the broader mainstream Republican agenda. They were voting because of the latter, even it’s a distinction without a difference in terms of effect.
Anyway, I read the opinion above as pertaining to MAGA hat-wearers, not all Trump voters, and believe that it’s a fair assessment.
Anonymous says
Meh. Would bother me too. Funny story — my sister took my kids for an outing in DC the other day, and they went “Christmas shopping” at one of the souvenir shops. My three-year-old (who likes red) begged for a MAGA hat, and they compromised on one with the presidential seal.
ElisaR says
good compromise!
anon says
I’d be bothered, too. I don’t particularly want my kids’ daycare teachers wearing political gear at work.
Anon says
You’re not crazy. I’d lose my $hit. I don’t think politics belongs in daycare at all, but to me that hat is much more than “I’m a Republican” – it’s an endorsement of racism, misogyny and xenophobia. I’d question whether someone who espouses those values can adequately educate my kid because they’re anti-thetical to our family’s values.
anon. says
I’d lose my mind and would probably leave enraged and then send a VERY strongly worded email followed by a phone call if I didn’t receive one back immediately. I don’t know what this says about me, but you aren’t crazy.
Anonymous says
Is this by any chance a young man who has never worked in a professional environment and does not realize that work is not the place for attire with political messages?
Devils advocate says
I agree with Anonymous @10:20. I think in some ways, in our visceral reaction to the MAGA hat we may be forgetting that there is a teacher wearing it who, probably just made a bad judgement call, but who probably doesn’t deserve to be vilified for having a particular view. Honestly, when I see a red MAGA hat, my first reaction is curiosity because I do wonder what part of the Trump agenda spoke to them. While collectively the red hats are disturbing for what they represent, it’s probably useful to remember that each hat is worn by an individual who has some reason for wearing it.
ElisaR says
quite possibly. i also feel like — is he wearing it because it’s red? does he think it’s festive? I don’t think he is aware how polarizing it can be.
Anonymous says
I think this is inappropriate for the reasons others mentioned. But I’m also just curious about the demographics of the daycare workers and kids. Where we live the teachers and support staff are overwhelmingly women of color, many of whom are immigrants. If a staff member (or even a parent) showed up in that hat I would interpret that as a hostile message and one that goes against the values of the community.
Spirograph says
This. I’m also curious whether the daycare worker actually supports Trump/MAGA agenda or if this is tongue-in-cheek. Still a poor judgement call, since you can’t explain to every parent who sees you that it’s a joke.
Some of my daycare staff wore pro-Hillary items of clothing leading up to the election, and *in a “normal” political climate* I would think it’s a bit of a double standard to be upset about support for one side and not the other. but Trump’s particular brand makes the message go beyond politics and tantamount to attacking coworkers/parents who are immigrants or children of immigrants, which is a sizable population n my community. I would definitely be upset if I saw it, too.
ElisaR says
we are 20 miles outside of NYC. Kids and teachers are pretty diverse. There are 2 male teachers in the school….
Anonymous says
Let it go. I don’t like Trump, but the hatred for him is just too much sometimes. Would you have reacted this way if the worker wore a hat or t-shirt with an Obama slogan on it?
Also, consider this…the worker wants a reaction. Don’t give him one.
ElisaR says
thank you for all the comments. I admit I would not have the same visceral response to a symbol supporting the other side. I feel like there’s a lot of hatred behind the MAGA hats that don’t belong in daycare. I would notice and be surprised to see Obama, Hillary endorsements or pink p***y hats but I don’t think I would be as bothered by it. I am going to consider saying something at pick up.
Em says
I knocked on doors for Obama and I would still have the same reaction, albeit not a visceral response, to a daycare working wearing an Obama shirt. It’s inappropriate regardless of the position. I don’t want to feel like you are pushing your political agenda on my kid when you are caring for them at daycare.
Anon Friend says
Does anyone have thoughts about how to best support a friend who is about to have a baby as a single mom? The dad isn’t in the picture, she has no family, and very few local friends. Her finances are stable but tight. Frankly, I’m really worried about her, but as I have 2 kids under 3 myself, there is only so much I can do to help. I’m thinking a lot about what I can do to make the most impact for her and coming up with running errands, giving freezer meals, and stopping by to hold the baby while she showers. Any other ideas?
Anonymous says
Organize a meal train and/or coordinate/organize offers of help from others to make it easier for the mom to take advantage of them.
Anon in NYC says
All of those sound like good ideas. I also think just spending time with her might be really nice for her – even if it’s just for a 30 minute walk on a weekend when you take your kids to a playground, or asking her to come over for a little while. I think loneliness and isolation will be really challenging for her as a new and single parent. Getting out of the house and interacting with people (even strangers) was so good for my mental health when I was home with a newborn.
Anonymous says
Yes! I’d offer to have her and baby over a lot or go visit.
Anonymous says
Text when you’re going shopping to ask if you can pick up anything for her. Invite her on walks/to the playground/other out of the house adventures when you’re talking your kids.
AwayEmily says
I’d say just be willing to initiate texts/talks with her about the minutiae of babyhood. I have a friend who consistently did this during my son’s first few months — she’d text me things like “how did he sleep last night?” or “how is his latch?” I’m not a single mom but my husband and I were in a new area with no friends around, and I was pretty lonely. It was just so nice to be able to chat with someone who was genuinely interested in all the boring baby details (and it helped that she was a mom too so she could share advice when needed).
Anonymous says
Yes. Stop patronizing her. Being a single mom is okay. You don’t need to be worried about her like she’s in crisis. Bring food. Offer to babysit and mean it. Love her and her kid.
I never got the whole showering thing at all. As a single mom, I plunked the baby down in her crib and then I showered. Ideally during a nap but also sometimes she cried for a while shrug.
Anon Friend says
I’m not worried just because she’s a single mom – there are other factors that I didn’t write because I don’t want to post anything too detailed about her. But thanks. I’m not a single mom, and I found it helpful for a friend to come hold the baby while I showered.
Anon says
I kind of agree with this. I’ve never heard of “stopping by to hold the baby while she showers.” I think it’s kind of breathtakingly rude to disappear for a shower when a friend stops by, even if you’re a new mom. Newborns sleep like 18 hours a day… how hard can it be to take a 5 minute shower? I dunno, I’d be pretty annoyed if I went to visit a friend with food and gifts and she said “hi, hold the baby, gotta shower!”
Anonymous says
Some newborns only sleep/stop crying when being held. It is very relaxing to take a shower without worrying about someone screaming for a change.
Anon Friend says
Well, here’s how it’s typically gone for me: Friend comes over. We sit and chat for a while. Friend says, “Hey I’m happy to hold Baby for a bit if there’s anything you want to do.” I consider the offer and think that a shower without worrying about the baby waking up and crying sounds great. Take a shower. These are good friends, and I certainly never shoved my baby at someone and ran off to the shower. My newborns have wanted to sleep while being held almost all the time, so yes I did find it tough to find the time to shower, eat meals, do laundry, walk the dog, and all the other things that needed to be done in a day, and I appreciated anyone helping me to get it all in. Maybe you’re just much better at life than me.
Anonymous says
This is super common amongst my friends and family. So relaxing to be able to take a long hot shower, wash and dry my hair. Helps to feel normal again. Or take a nap. I definitely had friends or family hold the baby so I could nap for a half hour. I’ve done the same for them. Visits in newborn stage are for helping mom. I can order food but I can’t order a hot shower.
I wasn’t okay leaving my baby to cry while I showered so I had a bouncy chair on the bathroom floor if I couldn’t shower when someone was home.
Whoa says
Then please do not come to my house when I have a newborn because the two I’ve had so far have only stopped the shrieking madness of constant crying while being held. Reflux is a cruel master. It’s fine if you did not mind letting your baby cry. The soul-sucking dementor wail was not drowned out by the shower, and I wanted someone to hold the baby while I showered. And I would happily offer to hold a friend’s baby while she showered. And I try not to judge anyone for having different needs than me and maybe you should consider that also.
Anon says
You’re telling me your child literally never lay flat to sleep? That seems like a serious issue that requires medical treatment. I had a colicky, fussy baby who needed to be held and rocked a lot, but she still spent plenty of time sleeping in a bassinet. A shower is 5 minutes. No one is saying you don’t spend a ton of time taking care of a newborn but you normally still have time to shower every day.
Whoa says
That is literally what I am telling you, yes. It’s part of the “people have different needs” phenomenon. In fact, some babies do have serious issues! Some of them even require medical treatment!
He had reflux that required inclined sleeping, but it took the first month of his life for that to be diagnosed and figured out. For four weeks, pediatricians told me variants of 1) this is normal, 2) he’s just a fussy baby, 3) it’s just colic, 4) something is wrong with your breastmilk, 5) try formula, 6) try a different formula, 7) he’s allergic to whatever you’re feeding him, 8) ohhhhh maybe it’s reflux? So yes. For a month my child literally never lay flat to sleep.
My experience counts just as much as yours. You can see from the multiple responses here that many people felt they did not have time to shower. There’s no need to smash everyone into the box of your experience. It’s great that you had time to shower. Not everyone does.
Anon says
DD had 5.5 months of colic – 8+ hours screaming a day. I assure you, she did not spend any daytime time in a bassinet (and maaaybe 2 hours a night the first few weeks in a bassinet, god those were terrible times, see also swore I’d be never be a co-sleeper, ha ha ha) because that took it from “air raid siren” to “nuclear + vomit” option on the level of wailing. That being said, I always took a shower every morning before my husband left for work, so I would have appreciated someone else being there to hold her if I were a single mother. Also, with my hair, I couldn’t even wash and condition it in 5 minutes, much less wash everything else any maybe take the luxury of shaving my legs.
Anon says
I don’t understand the poster who insists everyone has time to shower with a newborn (like, a bunch of people are telling you that’s not true…), but one thing to remember is that although the baby sleeps a lot, mom may need to sleep during that time. I always tried to sleep every time the baby slept, for the first month at least, because she was up every three hours all night every night. So even though she slept a lot, I was still exhausted, and all of her naps were also my naps. That left showering to be done while she was awake, but she wasn’t exactly self sufficient… so I wanted someone else to be involved.
Anonymous says
The take-away from this exchange is that all moms and all babies are different. Tell your friend that she can lean on you for support, “whether that means watching baby so she can take some time for herself, going out for coffee with baby, bringing over a meal”, etc. Let’s not judge what helps different moms calm down and relax and what our different needs are. Recognize that each of us has needs and offer to help her meet them. Tell her to let you know what she needs periodically and follow through as she requests.
AwayEmily says
Well put.
lawsuited says
In the very early days, I felt anxious unless someone was watching the baby, so I wouldn’t have showered unless someone else was on baby duty. Even once I’d gotten over that, I was concerned I might not hear the baby cry over the sound of the shower so I still wouldn’t have showered unless someone else was there. Newborns do sleep a lot, but they don’t all sleep reliably or well alone. Even if your newborn does sleep well alone, there are lots of other things new moms need to do while baby is sleeping like laundry, pumping, washing and sterilizing pump parts and/or bottles, preparing food and drink, sleeping, and in my case, working remotely, so sometimes getting a shower in isn’t a priority.
Anonymous says
Let your friend know (if this is true), that she can call on you for the random help. Like when baby is super sick, she hasn’t showered in days, and she runs out of Infant Tylenol. She can call you to run over some Tylenol and take out or something. Or you can watch baby for 30 minutes while she runs out for essentials.
AwayEmily says
My 11-month old started some minor biting about a month ago. Every few days he will bite my shoulder while I’m holding him. It seems to happen when he is excited/happy/amped up. I put him down with a firm NO when it happens. We let his teachers know to keep an eye out, and yesterday they said they saw an almost-bite (they pulled him away before anything happened). Same situation — he was playing with another kid and getting really excited. Advice? Anything else we should be doing? Thank you!
Anonymous says
Start reading “No Biting!” (by Karen Katz) and “Teeth Are Not For Biting” books to him daily. I had to read them to my daughter daily for what felt like a year.
Anonymous says
Agree with this. My 2 year old still likes Teeth Are Not For Biting as part of his bedtime story rotation. However, I think there were a few times he bit me just so he could say, “teeth are not for biting, OUCH, biting hurts!” afterward. Because it was super fun.
lsw says
We also had this situation and the advice we got was most importantly – ride it out, it will end. But on a practical end, we tried to react calmly rather than explode or dramatically put him down and leave. We would try to calmly say “No biting”. Kinda hard when you get chomped. We also tried a few “teeth are not for biting” style books but I’m not sure how much they helped.
Anon says
Uhh biting is a problem in babies? My 10 month old chomps down on everything, I assume because she’s teething and exploring the world with her mouth. I assumed it was only an issue when toddlers who should be using their words are doing it to express anger/frustration, not when babies are just biting for the sake of soothing their gums. Am I crazy? Do I need to be scolding my baby whenever she bites on us?
Anonymous says
If you don’t want to get bitten, you probably want to address the issue.
AwayEmily says
I definitely think my kid’s biting is normal and probably because he’s exploring/figuring stuff out, but I do want him to learn that it is not okay to bite people. He can bite whatever else he wants, but people are off-limits (especially since he’s in daycare around other babies).
Jeffiner says
Its fairly common for babies to bite when they get excited. Its like they don’t quite know what to do with themselves. We firmly said “No biting” and stopped playing and laughing. It only took a couple of times before she learned that biting would end the fun she was having, and stopped doing it.
AwayEmily says
yes, that describes it really well. He’s like “I’m having so much fun! How can I keep this fun going? I know! I’ll chomp on your shoulder!” Then after he does it he gives me a huge grin like “Woohoo! That was so amazing, right??”
Anon says
Just need to vent because there’s not a lot of people in real life I can tell. Pregnant with our 2nd and I have a bleed. I had one with our first so I logically know they can resolve and mean nothing. OB recommended pelvic rest and resting at home when possible and trying to reduce my stress for the week until she sees me again on Monday. I’m just so frustrated. It’s the busiest time at work (though I can probably partially rest/work at home) and I feel so isolated. I feel like I can’t tell anyone at work because it’s early and my office isn’t great to women. It’s just so much emotion and stress on top of an already stressful end of year.
Mama Llama says
I’m sorry, this all sounds like A LOT. And what terrible timing. Feel free to vent away here.
TheElms says
Agreed. I found the beginning before I felt comfortable telling work really hard. It may not be an option, but is there even one supervisor / person you work closely with at work that you would feel comfortable telling and be confident they would keep the confidence? It might help manage your stress, especially if they might be able to help run interference by saying generic things like “Anon is under the weather and didn’t want to get the team sick during our busy period but I just got an email from her so she’s available if you need her.” What about telling a friend? I ended up telling my three good friends a lot earlier than I planned because it felt isolating. They were great for the confidence boost, especially the one friend that works in a similarly demanding/stressful job.
Anonymous says
I know this is late but in case you come back, I feel you. I had a bleed early on before I told work. However, my office was able to get me in the same day- I’m sorry you have to wait!
I always felt better after calling and talking to the nurse, no matter what the issue was. They really have seen/heard everything and were always so calming.
Betty says
For those that celebrate Christmas: What are you asking for for yourself this year? Any great life-hack stuff, books, or organization stuff out there?
Mama Llama says
Power tools! I’m trying to become more self-sufficient.
Anonymous says
This was not a Christmas gift, but I recently splurged on a closetful of petite-sized hangers. If you are small enough across the shoulders that regular hangers stick way out past the shoulder seams of your clothing and create bumps in the sleeves, petite hangers are a game-changer. My guess is that they would probably benefit anyone who wears up to a size M or so.
My next organizational/closet splurge will be cedar shoe trees.
Anon says
Finally asking for a salad spinner after I flung lettuce all over the kitchen trying to use a towel spin method to dry it. Wireless chargers for my phones. Smartwool socks, a few replacement wooden spoons (my toddler turned my old ones into teethers and they’ve since cracked), Reese Witherspoon’s new book, some more stainless steel stemless wine glasses and (new) stainless steel pint glasses for outdoor use for my husband’s beer thingie, Hopsy maybe?
anne-on says
A biscuit cutter, wool socks, a new thick scarf, flannel jammies, and my favorite candy for my stocking. I also bought myself new balega socks when buying them for my husband’s slipper because OMG they are the best socks and it is COLD where we live. Ha!
DLC says
A new water bottle- either glass or insulated stainless steel- so I will remember to hydrate.
Becoming- because I find it inspiring to read about women who juggle motherhood and careers.
A tofu press- because we eat a lot of tofu and I think this will be more efficient than the paper towel/ cookie sheet/ cast iron skillet method I’ve been using.
Winter boots that are easy on and off. For standing at the bus stop in the snow.
SC says
I have purchased for myself:
tights
socks with feminine colored toes and heels so my husband will know they’re MINE
phone charging cords in a special color so my husband will know they’re MINE, and
pods for my Nespresso machine.
DH and I will buy NFL playoff tickets for our local team.
I’d still like a water bottle. I left mine on vacation last summer and haven’t replaced it.
AnotherAnon says
Last week DH and I discussed me becoming a SAHM: we discussed that the timeline for this is probably next August. This is something I’ve wanted for about a year, but only recently realized that I do want this. Now it’s really hard to concentrate at work. We’re super busy, I’m new, feel like I’m not really contributing to the team, so it’s just hard. I don’t know if I’m looking for advice or just need to vent.
ifiknew says
No advice other than to just say hang in there. Curious though how you decided this, how many kids do you have? It’s something I’ve considered a lot since my dd was born 18 months ago and am currently in an amazing, family friendly, part-time job, but still do wonder on occasion how being a SAHM would be.
Anonymous says
I have 3 kids and am part time. For a while I was a SAHM not by choice and it made me insane.
Anonymous says
So…I wrote last spring about becoming a SAHM. I left my job in July but still love to read the site. Honestly it was SUCH a good decision for us. DH works 50-60 hours a week with an hour commute in the evenings, plus is in the reserves so he’s away one weekend a month plus a few weeks a year. I was in a family-friendly company with great flexibility and benefits, but it still wasn’t working for us.
Upsides: I literally have a weight lifted off my shoulders from the lack of stress now (like my shoulders used to be tense all the time). I lost five pounds from being active with a toddler and not eating office snacks. While being a SAHM can be lonely, it doesn’t have to be if you keep a schedule, get out of the house every morning, and join mom’s groups. I love that my daughter gets new experiences and goes to new places all the time, and she sees the same kids every week at her playgroup.
Downsides: Saving less money, which we anticipated. More simple vacations (only one vacation a year), I operate on a strict budget whereas before I was frugal but didn’t have to worry, and no “little luxuries” like manicures. We also cut gym memberships.
I have no advice on feeling checked out – I actually didn’t feel that way until my last week at work, but that’s because it was a super busy time at work. FWIW we have one child, expecting another next year, and live in DCMVA area.
Anonymous says
Also…I realize this is a blog for working moms – which I found SO helpful. I don’t want me comment to sound like being a SAHM is somehow “better”, it’s just the best choice for our family at this point in time. And I meet many women who are SAHMs not by choice and they seem pretty unhappy.
Spirograph says
Thanks for this. Not the OP, but I’ve been toying with the idea of being a SAHM for a while, too. I can think of a million reasons not to do it, so it’s nice to hear that it can be a happy and welcome change. Most of the SAHMs I know did not leave a career for it, so it’s hard to get that kind of perspective from them.
Anon says
Thanks for sharing your experience!
GCA says
Thanks for sharing this perspective, and congratulations on the impending new addition! I love my job, and the balance of work/ family/ hobbies that I have suits our family currently, but sometimes I’m just a teensy bit jealous of my SAHM friends (especially if their kid/s are in preschool or school, so they get actual alone time or get to spend one-on-one time with their younger child on a regular basis without having to schedule it).
Anon says
Same! I’ve been a SAHM for three years now and I don’t regret a thing (but I still love this site and the different perspectives!). I even made more money than my husband at the time I stopped working, but he loved his career and I felt a strong pull to be home. It is not for everyone, but it *is* right for some people. My being home has relieved a lot of stress on me and our marriage. Life with little kids 24/7 can be tedious and frustrating, but overall our life is peaceful. I will say that my husband is a 100% all-in parent when he’s home, which makes a huge difference.
anon says
i LOVE that people who have chosen to be SAHM are still reading this site and chiming in! Your perspective is valued! Since this is a site for working moms, it is of course obvious that we have a bit of a bias towards staying in the workforce and trying to convince posters that they shouldn’t quit their jobs, etc., but it is good to recognize that different things work well for different people and for different families and different life circumstances.
AwayEmily says
Ditto. Also not a SAHM and have no interest in becoming one but I also like having that perspective here.
Anon says
Right there with you. I had my first (and likely only) baby early this year, I went back to work in June and even though I enjoy my job, it just wasn’t the same. I want to be home. My company got new leadership and everything is being reorganized and some layoffs/buyouts are likely. If I do get laid off, I think I will take some time off before job-hunting. It’s hard to concentrate because everything is very uncertain at work.
KW says
Any good ideas for stocking stuffers for a 3 month old. Normally I wouldn’t get any, but we also have a first grader who will wonder why Santa didn’t bring anything for the baby! So I’m looking for small things I would buy anyway like more pacifiers, new bibs, etc. Thanks.
Spirograph says
Soft toys or rattles that hook to the stroller or car seat
If you’re in a cold climate, mittens and a winter hat
Cute socks
Baby mirror
Anon says
“If you’re in a cold climate, mittens and a winter hat”…if you’re really in a cold climate, you needed these things months ago :P Sorry, just bitter that winter started in early October in the Midwest this year.
GCA says
Ha! Yeah, but between October and now that baby’s head has grown 2 hat sizes – get the hat! (Or you could have my DD, who is 4 months old and somehow *between* the hat sizes available at home…the oversized one covering her eyes was actually really helpful on our frigid, windy walk to daycare this morning.)
Mama Llama says
I got stocking stuffers for my 4 month old because I didn’t want my older child thinking she is the only one who gets gifts. I got some board books and a couple of fresh teethers and toys. We have plenty of books and toys from the older child, but I wanted to replace some of the books that are really beat up and get a new one that we don’t have, and I think it’s nice for him to have a couple of new toys. You could also get a hat or socks – things that tend to get lost – or something that you use up like lotion.
Anon says
Socks (I feel like I am constantly losing baby socks!), burp clothes, diaper cream/lotion, a small bath toy or so.
Anonymous says
Lol, yes, my baby is getting lots of socks for Christmas. I actually hadn’t considered that I need to make sure he gets something from Santa for his siblings’ sake – but I guess maybe the socks will be from Santa in this case (bah humbug!)
GCA says
Teethers and Indestructibles books? My older kid is only 3, but I was surprised at how few things I have left that are actually designed for baby to chew on. And some Baby Paper – that crinkly stuff is always a hit with babies.
AnoninBigLaw says
baby wash cloths! It was nice to get new versions of some very-well-used baby items in the house. New bath toys, teethers, bath books, socks are all great ideas too. A new dish set for baby since they will be starting solids in a few months?
AK says
Bath toys, shaky eggs, sippy cups, bowls/plates/silverware, one of those mesh feeder things, maybe even some baby food for when kiddo hits 6 mo (works well if you do food in your 1st grader’s stocking).
Anon in NYC says
Guys, I can’t find our Christmas stockings. My 3.5 year old won’t notice, right?
Anonymous says
lol oh nooooo!
This is a good opportunity to do a craft project and stick a construction paper cutout of a stocking on a pillow case or something. :)
SC says
I couldn’t find ours last year. We bought some for like $3 each at the drug store. I’ve also seen stockings at the dollar store, but the dollar store was out by the time I admitted defeat last year. I found our “real” stockings when I was putting decorations away last year, so now we have 6 stockings for 3 people. Shrug.
SesamePlace says
We are planning on traveling from Massachusetts to Sesame Place the weekend after Christmas. Staying Friday night and Saturday night at the hotel right there. Our son is 2 years old and loves Sesame Street. I’m just worried that there won’t be too much for him to do if it’s super cold,etc. Has anyone ever been to Sesame Place in general and this time of year? Thanks in advance!