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Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
Preschool Teacher Appreciation says
Need ideas for Teacher Appreciation Week! A parent on our preschool committee had the idea to ask the teachers what their favorite things were, and then have all of the parents purchase items to put in a gift basket. Surprise, that parent now can’t lead this for our classroom, he started a new job and doesn’t have time, so he asked if I could do it. I didn’t like the gift basket idea and was thinking of asking the parents to Venmo $ to me so I can get the teachers an Amazon gift card or something. Would that be ok if the teachers in the other classrooms will be getting gift baskets? Also what are ideas for the other days? Each kid brings in a flower one day, homemade card the next day, note from parents on the third day, provide breakfast, etc?
Anonymous says
I am pretty sure the teachers would prefer gift cards to baskets of junk.
Anon says
Gift cards are fine, and in fact, preferable.
Our daycare did some theme days like “bring a flower” but as a parent I found it kind of annoying to have to do that and be asked to donate money. I’d pick one of the two, and money is going to be better-received by teachers.
Anonymous says
If this is a preschool vs a daycare with a preschool, you may want to collect via Venmo and just order some items on Amazon and stick it in the basket. Almost no additional work for you, less work for all the parents, teachers still get what their peers get.
Our preschool had teachers that were all lovely part time teachers that taught for the love of the community and loved getting to know families and they really liked the “thought” of things…and didn’t really need money. They were SAHMs that took a job at a preschool in a very wealthy town after the kids got older to keep them busy. Contrast that to our preschool-in-a-daycare where the teachers were much more in it as a job and would have liked the $$.
Anon says
We did gift card bouquets – bought a bunch of gift cards in smaller denominations to stores they identified on a questionnaire, and nestled them in the branches of a pretty floral arrangement.
anon says
If it’s teachers who work for a living (ie, don’t have high income spouses supporting them), I’d give them cash or something close to cash like an Amazon/Target gift card rather than a gift basket. Maybe encourage parents to bring in a card/flower/art from their kids sometime that week too. But, I wouldn’t do what’s traditional in my area and have a different, specific, thoughtful thing that’s recommended for each day because I don’t think it’s worth the (not insignificant) effort for all the families.
Anon says
Our PTA collects money and then writes checks to each teacher. No worries about whether the gift card is to a store they like, and it’s what they really want. In addition, each class is assigned a day and provides either lunch or breakfast for all teachers on that day.
AwayEmily says
Has anyone worked with a parent coach who they really like? I’ve posted about my 6yo before…he’s a very sensitive, anxious kid and my husband and I are looking to figure out some more consistent strategies to help him regulate and just generally feel better about himself and more content in the world. I am willing to pay out of pocket, and also happy to do it over Zoom. At this point I’m not looking to get someone who can work directly with him, but rather someone who can work with us.
I have done some Googling but there are just SO many options and I have no idea who to trust and what to look for. Our pediatrician wasn’t much help, unfortunately. I’m hoping someone here has some specific leads. Thank you!
Anon says
No advice, but if you can I’d love a report back on whether you found it helpful. Our 6 year olds sound similar.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We work with a therapist who acts more like a parenting coach – I believe she and her center use PCIT, although ours is maybe a little modified as our son is not in the room where we do this. All virtual, though they are local to us. They also offer full neuropsychological testing, which may be a good start to see what services would best help him?
Pogo says
Same. We searched on PsychologyToday for PCIT therapists, and basically did Zoom coaching where she talked us through strategies. We paid out of pocket. We got handouts and guides that were helpful.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Hi Pogo! Good to hear from you again. Hope all is well with you and your family. I believe you were in the Boston area too.
Pogo says
aw thanks! I’ve been crazy busy with life and work. but our 6yo ADHD/anxiety/SPD kiddo is doing much better and I do think all the $$ was well spent.
Anon says
My daughter sounds similar and she’s in play therapy. I know you said you’re not looking for someone for him but her therapist (a clinical social worker) is able to learn about my daughter from a very objective standpoint, work on social skills and emotional regulation during the session, and then pass on those tools to me. I or my husband briefly met with her after each session and she reviews what she did, what she observed, what my daughter shared, and gives advice on what to work on and how to work on it.
It’s also been amazing for my daughter to have another outlet outside of her parents. When dealing with a hard time (anxious about starting something new, problems on the bus), she literally says, “I really want to talk about this with Jessica” and I’ll note these things for their weekly meeting.
Note that anyone can be a coach for anything, but not everyone has a social work, psychology, or psychiatry degree.
AwayEmily says
Maybe I should consider therapy — I haven’t partly because his issues don’t seem to meet the “criteria” for therapy. He doesn’t have out-of-the-ordinary tantrums or outbursts, he is doing well in school, he is able to try new things, he has (a few) friends. The kids I know who are in therapy seem to have much more urgent needs, and so I feel like committing to regular therapy sessions might just be more than we need at this point (cost-wise, time-wise, etc). It also seems like the waitlists are a LOT longer.
Anon says
I have the book Bad Therapy on hold at the library – from what I understand, the author argues that therapy isn’t right for all kids who are having issues and that it can have an iatrogenic (i.e., causing harm) effect. If you have misgivings, I’d maybe listen to them.
Anon says
Yeah, caveat that we have not done professional therapy but I have a kid who skews really sensitive and anxious and I feel like talking extensively about her feelings just causes her to spiral into more anxiety. Of course, if she wants to talk about something we don’t shut her down. But I feel like she does best when we quickly empathize with her feelings then move on/distract, rather than talking and talking about it.
This may be unpopular but I also think a lot of therapists pathologize developmentally appropriate behavior. Many 6 year olds are emotional and get upset easily when they get frustrated or criticized. Some more than others, certainly, but to a large degree I think it’s just personality and the fact that a 6 year old sometimes struggles to regulate their emotions isn’t necessarily a problem that needs to be solved unless it’s really disruptive to their education or social life. They will grow out of it as they get older.
Anon says
speaking of people without expertise…this author has none. i’ve looked her up. she has a JD, practiced for like 2 years and then reinvented herself as a journalist. She has no training in conducting quantitative or qualitative research. I listened to a podcast that featured her and while I agree with some of her points, I also think you need to take with a grain of salt
Anon says
I agree, Anon at 11:02. I’m seeing a lot of pathologizing normal kid behavior these days. Shrier makes that point too (I listened to a podcast) – that we used to say someone was “worrying about something” but now we’re more likely to say “they have anxiety,” which is more of a permanent, diagnostic statement.
Anon says
Non-fiction books are typically written by journalists who aren’t experts in the field. They interview experts and condense the expert’s ramblings into coherent thoughts. So I don’t think that she doesn’t have a psychology background is odd or concerning in and of itself. It depends on whether or not the people she interviews and cites are legitimate and balanced.
Anon says
I agree – that’s the job of the journalist, to effectively distill the interviews and research from other professionals into a coherent story. That’s what they do. Plus, journalism is often way more effective when an outsider tells the story. They can see things that insiders can’t.
Anon says
There is a podcast episode with Emily Oster and Dr Becky about this book. I encourage a listen
Anonymous says
Are you my husband posting about our son?
He does great in school and i think some of this comes from having always been successful at school and other things that he has tried (riding a bike came easy to him for example.) As they get older they start having higher expectations on themselves (I want to be able to do X thing) and haven’t worked on the muscle memory of having to try and fail to do things.
In fairness, I think as parents we have to ALSO remember that although it is reasonable that our behavior expectations increase with age, we get spoiled when our kid can do a lot of things and we forget that they can’t do anything. They are only 6.
AwayEmily says
Yes, totally hear you on calibrating our expectations. And I’m somewhat reassured by the fact that we’ve see consistent improvement. He’s better now, at 6, than he was at 5.5, and much better than he was at 5 (e.g. tantrums have totally stopped). So I’m reasonably confident that in the long run he will be fine — I just want a professional to advise us how we can react in healthy ways and teach him long-term skills.
Anon says
My anxious, shy 9 year old didn’t seem to get much out of play therapy, but doing anxiety and OCD workbooks together has really been a source of comfort and bonding for us. He is open with me in a way I don’t think he ever was with his therapists. It helps that our brains work similarly, so I’m able to say “me too!” when reading from his work books, and we strategize tools that work for both of us. ADHD Dude had some helpful thoughts about therapy that seemed on point for my particular son (essentially, that play therapy for kids who are struggling with certain issues isn’t super helpful — at least in my very specific situation, it helped release me from the thinking that therapy would be this magic bullet, and it wasn’t working for us bc I just hadn’t found the right therapist).
For parenting coaches, I love Meghan Leahy, who is the parenting columnist from the Washington Post, and think she’d resonate with your parenting style. She is very much into strengthening the bond between parent and child, and respecting or meeting the child where they are currently are developmentally and emotionally, then building from there. I’m not sure if she still does virtual parenting coaching, but I bet if you write to her (or check her website), she’ll have recommendations. I would start with someone who she has endorsed for this issue and age.
Anonymous says
Yeah, I have a hard time taking parenting coaches seriously when the most famous parenting coaches are Big Little Feelings, who have no credentials and have made tens of millions selling courses that are condensed versions of No Bad Kids and Oh Crap. I’m sure there are some great ones out there but the influencers have given them a bad name, imo.
AwayEmily says
Agreed. This is why I was hoping for personal recommendations.
anon says
How much do you think they’ve actually made? I’m sure it’s many millions but I’m most curious. They drive me BONKERS.
Anon says
Based on the sales numbers they’ve shared they’ve made at least $20 million on their courses. That’s not all profit (they have a few employees) but that also doesn’t include sponsored ads on Insta and affiliate links, which can also be major $$$ when you have millions of followers. They are LOADED. And they’ve made it all preying on anxious new moms. I cant stand them. A lot of parenting experts come across as smug or out of touch, but few seem as predatory to me as BLF.
Anon says
I am FASCINATED by them (not in a good way). I bought their potty training course (on deep discount at least) for my second kid, just because I wanted some scaffolding. It probably relieved some of my anxiety to have a “roadmap” but I ended up doing a version of what I did with my first kid.
For potty training, at least, I found some of their advice for after the potty-training weekend to be really out-to-lunch and geared towards parents/Moms that are primarily at home with their kids. Not even stay-at-home parents. Just…people who are home. A lot. With their kid(s).
Since then, I realized that they were basing their “expertise” on their own kids vs. any actual facts or research. Reading a book like How To Talk So Kids will Listen REALLY puts in perspective what an expert can share vs. influencers.
Anon says
Okay, full disclosure – I’m not on social media anymore, so haven’t seen their content in like a year, but most of what I recall from them actually seemed pretty balanced to me? I found their messaging to be more accepting that little kids going little kid no matter how much you try to be the best parent possible, and there is no magic bullet to keeping a three year old from not tantruming. I also think one of them used to post that she and her husband were struggling, especially in terms of who carries the parental load, which I appreciated her posting in real time — not just implying that they were great, then suddenly posting about a divorce and asking for privacy (which I saw time and again from other parenting expert influencers).
I found other “parenting experts” to be sooooooo much worse in terms of “[X Strategy] will fix all your problems, and if it hasn’t fixed all your problems, you are not doing [X Strategy] correctly.” I don’t get the hate – I respect that they’ve killed it financially. I wish I’d made $20MM last year!
Anon says
Yeah, they have no real expertise and at the time they launched the business they didn’t even have much parenting experience. One of them had two toddlers and the other hadn’t had kids yet.
What I heard about their potty course is that it’s just plagarized Oh Crap. I know you can’t copyright ideas so there’s probably no legal claim but I would so annoyed if I was the author of a legit parenting book and influencers were getting rich explaining the book to people!
Anon says
I can’t take advice seriously from people whose oldest kid is a toddler, no matter how “expert” they are. There’s book knowledge and then there’s practical knowledge, and you need both to be able to advise others in a professional capacity. The BLF creators also seem overwhelmed with their own kids and lives and it’s not a good look for a brand giving parenting advice
Anon says
I agree about their social media content. I think people have gone too far trying to be relatable by talking about how terrible parenting is. I’m certainly NOT a perfect parent and I definitely appreciate people who talk candidly about some of the harder parts of parenting and marriage after kids, because there are hard parts, but it has to be mixed in with good things too! BLF (especially Kristin) have just fallen off the deep end in the opposite direction and seem to have completely given up on making any effort, and her kids aren’t even that young (except for the baby but he’s, well, a baby). I don’t think it’s very relatable to most people. Also they have a lot of paid help behind the scenes, so that makes their overtired, burned mom out mom shtick even less relatable.
I thought how Deena put her marriage on blast was really inappropriate too. There’s a middle ground between pretending everything is perfect when it’s not and announcing to 2+ million followers that you hate your husband and want to divorce him but need to get a third content baby out of him first. I’m SO curious what is family and friends think about that whole thing.
They also talk a lot about how their childhoods were traumatic because they weren’t parented “gently” and then complain about not having a village and it’s like, um, maybe it’s related? I’m looking forward to being a grandparent and being involved with my grandkids but I would certainly think twice about it if my kid was on social media telling millions of people who terrible her childhood was and how I do things “wrong” as a grandma.
Anon says
+1 – When my oldest was a baby, a good friend told me that she only takes parenting advice from parents of older or adult children, and I think there is a lot of value in that thinking.
Anon says
A lot of influencers are self-absorbed, greedy people. It’s the ugly side of capitalism. Have you heard of Ruby Franke and Jodi Hildebrandt? They were influencers who made millions by showcasing their families on YouTube and were coaches at the same time they were abusing their kids (starving, beating, treating them as demon-possessed criminals). Jodi was previously a therapist which gave her a lot more leverage over people because they believed in her expertise. It’s shocking. Their case is extreme but I do think influencers can be a sketchy bunch.
Anon says
I think it’s because you have to be sort of narcissistic to want to be an influencer, especially one whose kids are front and center in their content. It takes a certain type of person to be willing to quite literally sell their kids’ privacy.
Anon says
I’m looking for this too! Struggling with parenting our nine year old. Specifically looking for a parent coach since she already has her own therapist.
Anonymous says
I am looking for something similar – but i was hoping to start with a family or child counselor to give our son strategies. He is also 6 and sounds like he has similar issues. He shuts down when i try to ask him how he was feeling when XYZ behaviour started. No suggestions unfortunately, but solidarity.
Friends have done well with “play therapy” with their anxious 8 year old. While they couldn’t “see” what exactly was happening, which can feel frustrating for us type A parents, it seemed to give him some good strategies. I am meeting with our family doctor this month.
Our issues are in particular extreme anxiety in new “social” situations [e.g. 1st day of swim lessons in the set at a pool where he has taken lessons for years] and that he absolutely melts down at “criticism” or when he can’t do something. It has gotten to the point that he gets upset at “why are you out of your chair when you are still eating”.
anon says
We worked with the Therapy Spot with our child, who did therapy 1x/wk for a summer, but we also did parent coaching with the therapist separtely, via zoom, and I found it really helpful because. If you google the therapy spot mi it should come up. There’s a parent coaching tab. If you have a burner email I can send more info.
anon says
In the Bay Area, the nonprofit Parents’ Place has always come through with an excellent coach to suit our situation as problems have come up. Most problems have just needed one or a handful of sessions. I’ve done Zoom coaching through them, so it’s worth a call to see if they can help even if you don’t live locally.
Fo me to learn about teaching my child emotional management, the podcast Flusterclux has been really helpful.
Anon says
My 3.5 year old stutters when starting sentences or questions. She’ll get stuck at “I” or “why” and say each word over and over again for maybe 30 seconds or so. We wait patiently for her to find her words, but I’m thinking ahead to potential speech therapy. For those who have started speech therapy, what’s an ideal age to get tested? I know from experience with my oldest for other types of support, I can get her tested through the county and a speech therapist can visit her school.
Anon says
I’m not an expert, but I think stuttering is still considered very normal at that age. It’s not really stuttering in the traditional sense, it’s just that their brain is working ahead of their mouth so they say the same word over and over again while trying to figure out how to formulate the rest of the thought. I’d probably start by asking your daycare or preschool teachers what they think, and if they’re not worried then you can probably watch and wait. We ended up in speech therapy (not for stuttering) because our preschool teachers flagged my kid’s pronunciation as way below normal.
New Here says
Chiming in to say my daughter does something similar – she’ll say “remember…remember..” and I can see her little brain working to form the sentence and thought. She’s 4.
Anonymous says
This. My DS was referred for speech for long pauses at that age which I wasn’t concerned about but he did end up receiving speech for articulation. Just wait and don’t say anything like “hurry up!”. This was more an issue we had to address with his big sister not trying to hurry him along. At 4.5 he no longer does this
Anonymous says
My youngest still does this often at 7yo — especially when he’s trying to get a word in edgewise in our talkative family — but I’ve never thought of it as a stutter. I read it as him being so excited that he’s started talking before he’s thought through what he wants to say. Usually it’s not a single word that gets repeated, it’s more of a phrase, or he’ll try several different formulations of how to start the sentence before he finally gets to the meat of it.
Anonymous says
I don’t think there’s an ideal age. Mine was tested around 2yo. If you have concerns just get her tested now.
Anon says
Another parent of a ST kid here – if you know testing is something you definitely want to do, just get the appointment/get on the waitlist ASAP.
We opted for private ST after seeing that EI wasn’t a fit for us (I had to push for it anyway) and being told by the EI SLP that DS #1 likely wouldn’t qualify for the state services once he was 3 (high bar in our red state to qualify), and would really benefit from regular, private therapy if we could swing it – which we fortunately could, and he has!
Anonymous says
This is super normal. 2/3 of my kids did this. You can ask for an evaluation but they will probably tell you it’s normal.
anon says
My son is also 3.5 and gets like this when he’s really excited about something. 9/10 he calms down, collects his thoughts, and speaks totally normally. He also does it when he’s especially tired. We were in the car after spending the day at the park, and he got into this stutter and started crying saying his brain wasn’t working!
Anonymous says
I am going out of town for the first time in a year. I told my husband he needs to pick up the kids from school Friday. I told him six weeks ago and reminded him last week. THIS MORNING he told me he has a client meeting and can’t pick up the kids. We (I) will figure this out but I’m so frustrated.
Anon says
Let him figure it out. I know that’s rough and it’s really hard to step back, but that’s the way that he will learn to be independent as a parent.
Anon says
Let him figure it out. I know that’s rough and it’s really hard to step back, but that’s the way that he will learn to be independent as a parent.
Sorry if this posts twice…
Anon says
Yeah make him figure it out.
Anonymous says
You can’t pick up the kids and he needs to figure it out. Don’t rescue him.
Anon says
Vent on!
DH told me yesterday he has a business trip to see a client, and has to leave the Sunday that I’m scheduled to be gone for a weekend to see a dear friend. It was on his calendar. It’s BEEN on the calendar.
We have options to cover any gaps, and I know he feels bad/it wasn’t 100% in his control (BigLaw), but it is annoying.
Anonymous says
Only he has the power to draw a boundary with work. And “No I can’t leave Sunday, I will get the first flight Monday” is a response he can give.
Anon says
Eh, it’s a 5 hour flight and is technically international travel, so even if he took a 5 AM flight out on Monday (not even sure that is an option) it’d be really pushing it to get to any AM meetings on time, and that’s putting aside the need to like, breathe.
I think it’s always important, but easier said than done, to draw these boundaries.
Anonymous says
That’s ridiculous.
Anon says
My DH used to do this all the time. I developed a habit of calmly replying, ‘well, let me know what you figure out’ whenever he ‘forgot’ to do a household management thing we’d already discussed. It was a kinder version of, ‘your bad planning doesn’t make this my crisis’ but that’s the gist.
London says
Any suggestions for where to stay in London with kids? Preference for an AirBnb or Apartment hotel so there’s a kitchen or kitchenette.
Has anyone taken kids to see the Cursed Child play? Is both halves in one day too long for 10 year olds? Any tips on the Warner Bros tour?
Anon says
No advice on London but I think Cursed Child should be ok for 10 year olds if they’re Harry Potter fans. I would not take my 6 year old even though she’s generally an excellent theater-goer, but friends took their 9 year old and he did great.
Anony says
It’s not the best option if you want to actually cook (v. store food and drinks and have all the supplies to comfortably eat takeout), but we loved our suite at the Ampersand Hotel, and they were really welcoming to kids (bringing hot chocolate when we checked in, a kid-sized robe and slippers, etc.).
I saw Cursed Child in New York, where it’s just one very long play rather than two halves, but I think the play in general would be good for 10-year olds. I was seeing kids who looked 8-9+ in the audience and they all looked happy.
FVNC says
We were just in London with our 10 and 7 yr olds and had so much fun! We didn’t do the play, but we did the Studio tour. It was very easy to get there, but man, it was a LONG day. We actually didn’t get there until 2, which I kinda liked because I think if we’d gone first thing in the morning, we’d have been there 10 hours. We were there over 4 hours as it was!
I’m no help in where to stay because we had military-associated lodging, but the neighborhood – right near Marble Arch – was fantastic for getting around.
Hope you have a great trip.
anon says
I know some of you are fans of Athleta Girl. They are having an online warehouse sale. I stocked up on some new stuff for my 9-year-old!
Anonymous says
Any tips for staving off morning sickness during work calls? I don’t want to disclose yet as it’s really early. Thanks!
Anon says
Eat right beforehand and suck on the hard candy of your choice during (or quietly chew on gummies)
anon says
i used to pinch myself, literally
Anon says
Currently 18 weeks with my second and still experiencing morning sickness daily. Here are my staples: sea bands, jolly ranchers, lavender scented hand lotion, ice cold water with lemon slices and saltine crackers. Hope this helps!
Anon says
If no one can see you, I used to eat freeze pops when I was nauseous. It worked while eating them. Also those horribly named preggie pop drops.
Jellybean says
Potty training question/gut check. 3.5 DD is fully trained for pee. Wears underwear and has never had an accident since she decided herself that she was going to start peeing in the potty in January. She wears pullups/diapers for nap and night (respectively) and wakes up wet more often than not (I have no concerns about this).
She has never gone poop on the potty. She says she is scared to let it out on the potty and not ready. She typically poops in her diaper before bed within 5 minutes of us putting it on, so she’s obviously holding it. Yesterday evening she was complaining of a belly ache and said she needed to poop but was scared to go on the potty. I offered a pull up for her to go in but she didn’t want one (this was like 30 mins prior to bedtime so we proceeded to get ready for bed a little early and put the diaper on and she went shortly thereafter).
She’s always been one of those kids who will not do the thing until she is ready, pushing or coaxing has a negative effect. I’m inclined to let this work itself out. She’s interested in reading books about going poop on the potty and likes to talk about it, so I feel like if I just continue doing that and give her space she will go when she’s ready (this is how peeing on the potty happened for her). I don’t want to borrow trouble, but I also want to avoid bigger issues related to withholding, her getting more scared, etc.
Any thoughts/similar experiences?
Anon says
Ohhhh team Wait it Out. I’ve posted here before, but all four of my kids took a long time to get 2 down. My “baby” took the longest, but coaxing, bribing, pushing, cajoling, etc. did not move the needle when it came to #2 (they all did just fine and were pee trained quickly and easily). They all eventually just had to get there on their own. Two of the 4 loved reading the books that withholding makes your tummy hurt, and those books didn’t do anything for my other 2. So, from my view, offer, don’t push, have the books around, and she will get there on her own.
Anonymous says
Are you using a potty seat on the toilet with a foot rest or a potty on the floor? There has been variation in early training stages between which option my kids liked so I made both options available in the bathroom. At 3.5 one of my kids preferred the toilet because the potty was too small and the #2 would touch their bottom.
If she’s expressing fear, I would acknowledge that fear and offer that she can try pooping on the potty while wearing her diaper so she gets used to pooping in that location and position, and then you can promptly change her.
Anonymous says
Yup. My son didn’t poop on the potty until 4. My DH forced it and threw out all the diapers and we gave him miralax/fiber gummies. He held it for 3 days but finally went! No issues or accidents since. I was so embarrassed he wasn’t fully potty trained but now he’s almost five and it’s a sort of distant memory. I can at least comfort other parents that yes they eventually will go. Our issue during age 3 was constipayipn it was like he didn’t want to go in the potty but also didn’t want a diaper.
Anon says
Can confirm that even when they train really late it quickly starts to feel like a distant memory!
Anon says
I hope you were not hard on yourself! I hear a lot of stories IRL about NT 4-year-olds who are not 100% potty trained.
1. One of my friend’s sons just turned 4 and like will. not. ask. to. go. at school, and is in a pull-up for that reason, while fine at home.
2. My cousin who is graduating high school next month apparently screamed bloody murder at the idea of using the potty until he was a little past 4…and then was fine.
3. Our housekeeper regularly babysits a 4-year-old in diapers. Her parents figure she’ll get it, or they’ll get to it, eventually – but she’s shown 0 interest.
Anon says
I wish I’d heard those stories. My neurotypical but incredibly strong-willed and sensitive kid didn’t train until a couple months before her 4th birthday (but then was trained perfectly and has never had an accident). We tried to minimize how many people knew about it (i.e., no social media) but those who did know, including her daycare teachers, acted like it was the weirdest and most awful thing. I got some supportive comments here (thank you!) but I felt soo much shame about it.
Anonymous says
Exactly. I like…wouldn’t tell people except for family members and our once a week babysitter. The extra fun part was that he only wanted me to change him.
Anon says
Here is my opinion as a non-expert that is lazy at potty training. We started training DS #2 a few months ago after he turned 3, and he’s like 80-90% of the way there now (public toilets are still to be conquered, and TBQH, that’s fine). DS #1 was trained a touch later, between 3.25-3.5.
I say based on everything I’ve read on this board, and anecdata from IRL friends, you wait. One of my good friend’s younger son was similar to your kid, self-trained for #1 but just wouldn’t do #2 in the potty. In part because there was a medical issue (that resolved), but really, he just…didn’t want to. He was in pull-ups until 4 and then it kind of resolved itself. He’s now 8.
Anon says
My stubborn 3.5 year old was scared to go #2 and for months he would go in his nighttime diaper. Yesterday morning I told him that if he went #2 he would get a new toy. He ran to the potty and did it, then did it again at school! I won’t be able to afford all these new toys for much longer, but it seems to have helped him get over his anxiety.
Anon says
My brother pooped in his diaper until he was 4.5. He is by all worldly standards a fantastically successful adult.
DS refused to poop in the potty even after being pee trained and I probably would’ve let him go until he was 4.5 in a diaper but one day I just lost it when he was like 3.25 and told him no more diapers. He didn’t poop for 2.5 days. After the first potty poop he is fully poop trained
TL:DR: go as slow as you want! And if you just get sick of looking at 3 year old poop in a diaper, that’s ok too.
Anonymous says
I have twins and one potty trained at 3 and the other just would not do it. No treats, or fun putty accessories or kid potties or books could convince him. So I gave up. Then one day, his brother was having a meltdown and I was dealing with that, and he came streaking through the house yelling “I gotta go poop!” And he just pooped on the potty by himself. That was about three months after he turned 3.