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Does this pretty party dress come in my size?
I had no idea that Reiss made kids’ clothes! This flowy mint-and-peach dress has accordion pleats all around and a subtle ruffled collar. Sweet without being overly saccharine, this dress will take your preteen from spring fling to summer soiree.
Reiss’s Pixie Dress is $125 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes 9-10 Y to 12-13 Y.
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Anon says
Today is “international day” at my kids’ school. My kids requested shirts with the Israeli flag (we are Jewish and they have no clue what’s going on, which i realize is a privilege but i also think it’s kind of complex to explain to 5 year olds). I am nervous and also so angry that it’s 2024 and this is something to be nervous about. Fingers crossed it goes ok.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Hugs. Our school held a multicultural night a few days after October 7, and there were similar concerns then, but it went exceptionally well and I think everyone felt welcome and included. I hope people know to separate a person’s cultural and heritage from the current government or policies. I hear you though on being nervous – my family of origin is Russian and I’m wary of having my kids wear that flag or talk about it. There’s a reason my parents left, but it’s still part of their heritage.
Anon says
And Russians have contributed many cultural elements (gorgeous ballet performances) the world and society! Every individual of Russian decent is not responsible for the actions of the Russian government
Anonymous says
So true, I was disheartened when so many Russian cultural performers and performances were cancelled post-invasion of Ukraine. I get the impulse, but… Tchaikovsky died before Putin was born, he is not supporting the current Russian regime.
Anon says
Ugh I hope it goes okay. These are dark times.
Anon says
A while ago, I was looking through the great Motherhood around the World series on Cup of Jo and she had delisted the interview she had conducted with the Israeli mother. It’s still buried on the site but it’s not tagged so it’s hard to find. That really bothered me.
Anon says
I would reach out to her! I feel like Jo is really receptive to constructive criticism, and at least initially she was sharing pretty balanced takes about the war in the Middle East.
Anon says
I haven’t really found that to be true with those series. I noticed the omission in the comments originally and elsewhere in the comments, someone had criticized how she had renamed the series “parenting around the world” and how it lost something to vanish the word mother. Jo’s response was pretty definitively not interested in feedback. She wasn’t rude but clearly found it barely worth responding to.
Also, she delisted it some time ago – way before Oct 7.
Anon says
I remember it being hidden shortly after it came out. I believe Jo addressed this at the time and that the mom had asked for it because she was getting a lot of hate. Which is obviously awful, but I don’t think it was a unilateral decision by Jo based on recent events.
Anon says
I hope all goes well. If anyone is looking for ideas for how to celebrate multi-culturalism with minimal politics, our school’s big international event is a food night, which I love. I would think & hope that no one is going to object to shakshuka or pelmeni even if they don’t like the Israeli or Russian govts. And there’s soooo much good food!
Anon says
There are definitely people who object to Shakshuka, or at least to the idea that it’s associated to Israel. I discovered this by following a random food blog where people completely lost in when someone mentioned going to Israel and eating Shakshuka. Apparently the dish exists with minor variations throughout the Middle East, and some people really resent the association with judaism/Israel. Hopefully not 5 year olds though!
Anon says
haha Erin from RHONY would like a word ;) Shakshuka definitely exists outside of Israel (it’s popular all over the Middle East and I think northern Africa) but it seems weird to object to someone bringing it and saying it’s a food that’s significant to their heritage.
I also like the food idea because it’s more inclusive of people who don’t have a specific culture to represent. We live in a college town and the majority of my daughter’s classmates were born outside the US or had parents born outside the US. My daughter (although culturally jewish) is like a fifth generation American so can sometimes feel a bit culture-less. Food night allows people to bring in a dish that’s special to their family so you can participate even if you’re just a boring old American.
Anonymous says
Food night would never happen at our school. They are so paranoid about allergens that we have to sign permission slips for the kids to cut up apples in science.
Anon says
Seriously? I was wondering if all those cultural talks about too much “safetyism” in schools were exaggerating, but apparently not.
Anonymous says
It’s a food night at our elementary school, too. There are kid song and dance performances, science fair-like tables with info about various countries hosted by anyone who wants to make one + tons of delicious food. It’s coming up later this month and I’m really looking forward to it.
I’m the boringest of boring old Americans — literally my family has traced genealogy back to colonial times on both my mom’s and dad’s side — and last year I made apple pie and chocolate chip cookies. This year I’m making a dish for DH’s family heritage (he’s first generation and much more “interesting”) but also chocolate chip cookies by kid request.
Anonymous says
Yes, seriously. And what is really wild is that our schools are run by a right-wing school board that is banning books, so we are not the kind of crazy liberal place where you would expect food allergen hysteria. It’s a peculiar right-wing sort of “safetyism” that wants armed police officers in schools and lets violent students do whatever they want in the classroom but wants to protect students from exposure to food and ideas.
Anonymous says
It’s so disheartening that this deteriorated to comments about ‘food allergen hysteria’.
I take it you haven’t had to deal with a kid being bullied on and off or being excluded from participating in school events with their friends.
No one would lament the ‘autism hysteria’. Kids can’t control if they have autism and they can’t control if they have allergies.
Sharing music is another great way to share cultures.
Anonymous says
I’m so sorry and wholeheartedly agree that you shouldn’t have to worry about this in 2024. I hope your kids have an awesome day with no issues.
GCA says
+1 million. Please let us know how it went.
anon says
Oh, this dress is darling. I rarely use that word, but this is so so so cute and pretty.
Gloating says
So my husband is on short term disability (recovering from surgery and almost 100%, but can’t work construction again yet) and this week our kid had a fever and couldn’t go to daycare and it was AMAZING to just leave the whole childcare thing in his hands and go to work and not have to cancel my appointments or worry about finding back up care or calling the doctor. This morning our kid was feeling better but didn’t want me to take him to daycare so I just walked back in and handed him off to my husband to deal with and I felt a little bad but also wonderful (husband had a dr appointment, but wasn’t planning to leave until later in the morning, so he wasn’t super happy, but I don’t think I was TA). It’s going to be rough when he goes back to work, haha. Happy Friday and may everyone get their own well-deserved break soon!
Anonymous says
So glad you are getting a break in what has undoubtedly been a difficult time! My husband is a teacher, and it is always an adjustment when he has to go back to teaching in September.
“How is DS?” says
Help me with basic social skills: What do you say when someone asks how your kid is doing, as a general question? If someone asks the same question about DH or anyone else in my life I can usually answer pretty easily and give them one or two updates about work, health, etc that are ok to share. But when people ask about DS it always stumps me because there is so much going on but it’s all pretty mundane. He is 3.5, goes to preschool, is active, talkative, and silly, loves cars, trains and trucks. He likes playing soccer at school. We’re in the middle of potty training and he’s made a lot of progress. Thankfully he’s healthy as far as we know and no recent health issues. He makes us laugh all the time but it’s usually only funny to DH and I. If I say all this it seems like too much, so then I end up saying almost nothing because I can’t pick out the one or two anecdotes that would be interesting to the person asking the question.
Anon says
You’re overthinking this! Literally all you need to say is “he’s doing great! He cracks us up daily and is starting to get really into trucks. How’s [your kid] doing?”
Anonymous says
“Johnny is doing great! He’s really into cars and trucks and it’s fun to watch him get excited when the garbage truck comes.”
GCA says
I get this all the time from friends/ colleagues! They’re just asking by way of making conversation. Feel free to share a sentence or two about something cute your kid did recently (‘he’s been getting really into building elaborate train tracks’, ‘he just started soccer and it’s hilarious’) and move on.
Anon says
I think it depends on the person asking and whether they’re just being polite or are actually curious. But generally something like “He’s great! Really into cars and trucks and loved playing soccer!” Should be fine.
GCA says
True! I did actually have a nice conversation with one colleague, a young dad, about potty training his 3yo when I asked this question once. (And afterwards I felt quite thankful to be out of the diaper and potty years!)
Anon says
Recommendations for London with kids? Will be there in early August with kids ages 9, 8, 5 and 2! Thanks!
Cb says
My 6 year old LOVES the big museums but they can be really crowded and it might be worth splitting up into smaller groups to let the big kids explore. He also likes the Cutty Sark in Greenwich. A recent highlight has been the Cutty Sark in Greenwich. I also saw the British Museum is doing kids scavenger hunts which look really cool.
Anony says
We just got back, and my 3.5-year old’s favorites were: the Transport Museum, the Diana Memorial Playground, Kew Gardens, the dinosaur themed tea at the Ampersand Hotel, birds everywhere (seriously, so much waterfowl, plus the ravens at the Tower of London), the mango lassi at Dishoom, and plain old riding buses around.
FVNC says
This is too funny. My kids were obSESed with the birds. I have so many pictures of “exotic” ducks on my iphone bc they begged me to take pictures, ha!
Favorites for my kids (7 and 10) were St Paul (climbing to the top of the dome), the Tower of London and the market in Notting Hill. And riding double decker buses. Everywhere :)
GCA says
Seconding the British Museum. The Natural History Museum is stunning and a personal favorite.
Are you going with another adult? What are the kids interested in? You could split up and take the older kids to the Matilda musical, or take the whole crew to a kid-friendly afternoon tea. If older kids like to dance, get them in a drop-in class at Pineapple Dance Studios. If you have train aficionados, the Transport Museum could be fun.
Maternity Leave says
How close to your baby’s birth did you work? My original plan was to work basically until I went into labor so that I could have as much time with baby as possible. I’m 38 weeks now and starting to second guess that decision! I am just so tired and there is so much to do before the baby arrives, but I don’t have time to do any of it because I’m working. I am wondering if I will look back on this and regret it. Starting to lightly consider the idea of starting my leave at 39 weeks, but if baby goes overdue that would mean missing more than a week of time with her and that feels hard too!
Anon says
I only have one but worked (primarily from home) until the day I was induced at 40+3. I was lucky to feel really good up to the end and wanted to save all my leave for baby. If I’d had a second I would have scheduled a 39 week induction I had a really great experience being induced.
Anon says
With both kids I worked until I went into labor. I had uncomplicated pregnancies and WFH starting around 36 weeks. FWIW I have a desk job so it was manageable. If I were going to have another kid I would do the same.
Spirograph says
TL/DR: Starting leave at 39 weeks, if you’re exhausted and overwhelmed, seems like a solid plan to me!
Kids are 7-11, I was still working 5 days a week in the office when I was pregnant with each of them, and had a long metro or driving commute for Babies 1 and 2.
Baby #1: I originally planned to work basically until I went into labor, but I decided at 38 or 39 weeks that I was done and planned for that Friday to be my last day. And labor started Friday night.
Baby #2: I have no recollection of this one, there were many other misadventures with this particular labor/childbirth experience that have taken all the space in my memory. I don’t think I had very much (if any) time at home, though.
Baby #3: I planned to work until 38 weeks because I was obviously exhausted at 9 months pregnant + two toddlers. IIRC, I was off Monday and Tuesday, and went into labor Tuesday afternoon.
Spirograph says
For curiosity’s sake… what do you feel like you need to do that’s not going to get done unless you take time away from work? I do think you may regret missing time on maternity leave if you subsequently come to feel/realize that you didn’t *need* to do that stuff before the baby came. But if the bigger part of the reason you’re considering starting leave early is that you’re exhausted, uncomfortable and just so done being pregnant in public at work every day, that’s different.
Are you working from home? If not, I’d start off by asking if you can be 100% remote until your leave starts. (Upon further reflection, I’m pretty sure that’s what I did with baby #3. My boss basically kicked me out of the office and told me to work from home the last few weeks.) There’s often not a ton to do the last weeks of work anyway, since you’ll probably have already transitioned any major projects.
Anon says
Yeah I don’t think there is much you need to be doing. What do you feel is not done that has to be done pre-baby? Can your partner do it?
Mary Moo Cow says
I was wondering that, too, and whether OP could call in a favor to get stuff done. I would be happy to help a friend wash/put away baby clothes or stock the pantry, or other tasks (friend time plus being helpful, but maybe that’s my nostalgia at being 5 years out from having a baby!) Is there stuff you can outsource? Or make peace with Big Project X just not getting done before baby arrives?
OP says
I’ve been working from home two or three days a week, so I’m only in the office two or three days. Even so, the last few weekends when I’m getting rest I feel great and my ankles immediately de-puff. Then during the workweek I just get more and more exhausted and puffy. I feel really strongly for myself about having an unmedicated labor and I’m worried I’ll be starting too tired if I go into labor during the week!
The to-do list stuff is mostly prep for postpartum – like I don’t have a single meal frozen yet because I spend the weekend resting. Hubs has been on unusual amounts of work travel recently too, so we’ve both been really tired by the weekend, although he’ll be home today and doesn’t have any more travel planned. Baby’s room isn’t really set up, although I’m less worried about that since she’ll be in our room to start. I was great about exercising during most of my pregnancy but I’ve completely fallen off the last month. As I’m typing this I’m realizing some of this is me needing to set some tougher boundaries around work. My boss is really nervous about me being out of the office and so I’ve been trying really hard to get ahead, but I could also just start going for a walk around lunch time and leaving at 5 without really facing consequences.
Anon says
If this is your first I wouldn’t worry too much about freezer meals. I had a lot of time on mat leave to cook while baby slept or hung out in a carrier or bouncer nearby. It was nice to have frozen stuff before returning to work, but you have way more time for that.
Mom of four says
I think you should actually think about what you really need before the baby! i have four and work full time. worked up until date of arrival for each. didn’t regret it. definitely wasn’t my most productive time in the office but people were nice about it. worked remotely for last week for two of the four.
-that’s great you want an unmedicated labor. i promise if you end up medicated, it won’t be because you were at work. and be open to the possibility that things may happen!
-i have never frozen a single meal prior to a baby arriving. i have no idea what we ate in retrospect, but there was no meal prepping ahead of time. people will probabyl bring you at least a few meals!
-give yourself a break on exercising in the last month of pregnancy!
-if baby is sleeping in your room, why does her room need to be set up? all you need is a changing pad, diapers, and amazon prime
all this is say respectfully, you’re excited! but i’d give yourself a break on the home front, not on the work front. And then completely check out during maternity leave. don’t reply to a single email. And enjoy your time iwth the baby!
Spirograph says
I mean this with love and support: I encourage you to let all of this go. You cannot be all things to all people in 3rd trimester; you can’t keep up your non-pregnant, or even 1st or 2nd tri, pace; and you don’t need to try. If you have the luxury to let things go and take it easy (and you almost certainly do if this is a first baby, you have a desk job, a reasonably supportive partner, and a comfortable standard of living) a smidge while you stare down a major life change, you should do it.
I also didn’t have a single freezer meal. We weren’t really eating hot sit-down dinners with an infant. Friends sometimes brought us takeout, but mostly I munched on cheese, crackers, cut-up fruits and vegetables, or DH made me a sandwich. All that to say, do not give freezer meals another thought.
It is 100% normal and OK to fall off exercising in your last month of pregnancy. It’s a blip in the grand scheme of things. If your body needs to rest with your feet up and depuff your ankles, there’s no shame in doing that instead of a workout. Personally, I felt a million percent better/more energetic about 3 hours after I gave birth and spent my spring maternity leave going for lots of long walks with the baby in a stroller. You’ll get back to it, I promise!
And finally, your boss has presumably known you’ll be out on maternity leave for a few months. If he or she is still nervous, that’s on him/her, not you. Your work should ramp down, not up, before you take an extended leave. You should not be trying to get ahead, you should be planning for a smooth transition to whoever will keep balls in the air while you’re away. Ymmv depending on your job, of course, but three months was a *long* time in my fast-changing work environments, everything had moved on by the time I got back anyway, and I barely remembered what had seemed so important right before I left. I didn’t even come back to the same job after one maternity leave; I was promoted while I was away.
Anon says
Echoing that I personally did not do freezer meals at all and think those get too much hype. Like you, I worked a full time demanding job when pregnant and the effort needed to make all that happen ahead of time in my mind would have far exceeded the effort they save when you are on maternity and need to put together a meal. We leaned into ordering out, having groceries delivered including ready made stuff (something I never otherwise do), and just simple meals.
ready for baby says
I was you at 37w6days and then baby came at 38 weeks and it was fine. I have a picture of my to-do list that pops up on Timehop every June 30th and it just makes me laugh, some of its still isn’t done years later. One perk was that DH’s family swooped in to help finish the nursery when we got home from the hospital. Have a list of things for people to do for you when they come see the baby. (dishes, laundry, vacuum, yardwork? )
Anon says
I worked on the day of both labors (went into labor in the afternoon and that night). I only had 12 weeks for both so I didn’t want to waste any days/weeks.
Anonymous says
Ditto– I wanted to save leave for the post-birth period and worked until I went into labor.
Anonymous says
Same
Anon says
I was at a Big 4 for my kids and they started your leave 2 weeks before your due date which was amazing. I was already so uncomfortable at that point I don’t think I would have been able to work much longer. Lots of downsides to the Big 4/consulting but the benefits/time off are generally very very good.
Anonymous says
I worked until the Friday before the weekend my kid was born. Can you continue working but scale back (like just monitoring emails)? I think you will want the extra time for when baby is here.
Anonymous says
I started leave 2 weeks before my due date because I had a 60-mile commute each way and didn’t want to go into labor at work. Nowadays I would choose to WFH right up until the end to maximize time off after the birth.
OOO says
I planned to work until I went into labor, but then my BP shot up due in part to work stress, so I had to start my leave a few days before my due date. Listen to your body! Your child needs you to be healthy
Mary Moo Cow says
With Kid 1, I had a c-section scheduled and planned to work until the day before because I only had 2 paid weeks and 6 unpaid weeks of leave. The week before surgery, I went from my last prenatal appointment next door to the hospital and delivered the next day, so best laid plans…
With Kid 2, I had another scheduled c-section and 12 weeks paid leave, so I took vacation to have my last day be Friday before a Tuesday surgery. I loved having one day with a kid in daycare and no obligations but I was feeling good and accomplished most of what I wanted before birth. If I hadn’t been feeling good or was overwhelmed, I probably would have taken an extra day or two.
I don’t think there’s a uniform right answer, unfortunately. What if you compromised on starting leave at 39.5 weeks (like, last day being a Wednesday?)
Anony says
I planned to work until 38 weeks (I was planning to be induced at 39 weeks if I didn’t go into labor on my own by then, so it would have given me a week of downtime at most). Then my water broke early, so I was transitioning cases from the hospital room until the contractions got too intense. I do not really recommend that, but c’est la vie.
Emma says
I thought I would stick it out until the end, but by 36 weeks, I was so exhausted I asked to go early. It’s a good thing I did because I went into labor shortly after at 37+2.
An.On. says
I think I planned to be done with projects at 39 weeks and definitely off at 40 weeks regardless of whether baby was ready, but ended up having contractions at 38+6 and baby was born the next day, so I missed one scheduled meeting that morning. If I had a crystal ball I would have wanted at least a few days off first, but I maximized my maternity leave I guess. Not sure what you’re needing to get done, but we didn’t even have the car seat installed when we went to the hospital and I had to wait while husband and FIL went back to get it after the baby was born. And we packed a bag the day of. I assumed we’d have more time for a first baby, but basically had contractions the first day, had a baby the next day and went home the day after.
Anonymous says
I was induced at 41 weeks, 6 days, and I think I worked until about 41 weeks, 2 days? I just kept thinking the baby would come, and he didn’t. My husband had minimal income at that point, and I had no paid leave other than state disability, plus had to cover all health insurance premiums (including the part my employer paid) during my leave, so I wanted to get paid as long as possible. I also knew that I would have a lot of help postpartum – my parents came to town for 6 weeks, and my husband was going to be off since he was in the process of becoming a teacher and baby was born in June. So I wasn’t very worried about meal prep, etc.
Anonymous says
PS – part of the reason I stopped when I did is that I had to go in for fetal monitoring almost every other day after 41 weeks, so I would not have been able to get much done in the office anyway.
Anon says
Would you be able to use PTO at 39 weeks and then have mat leave start when baby arrives? That’s what I did
Anon says
But you can also use PTO to extend your mat leave so either way it’s cutting down time with baby.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Echoing everyone that you don’t need to do all this prep ahead of time. I have two kids – my first wasn’t born until close to 42 weeks, so I had a week or so of just waiting around and honestly, I was so so bored. I didn’t know what to do with myself. At that point, I had the sense that it would happen any day, so I stopped working after 40.5 or 41 weeks, but then there was just a lot of waiting. With my second, I worked until the day I went into labor (was wfh that day at least), and that was fine. I have a desk job so nothing physically strenuous. I liked having something else to focus on.
I don’t know that being well rested a few days before will help once you’re in labor if you end up with a long process. I will sing the praises of the epidural to anyone though (I was able to sleep while progressing from 4cm to 8cm!! Modern medicine is incredible)
Anon says
I didn’t sleep because I was too excited but definitely echo the praise of the epidural. There’s a lot of stuff out there about how it can slow progress but I went from 4 to 10 cm within a couple hours of getting it.
GCA says
Also here for the epidural if you’re open to it! It made labor with kid 2 as much of a breeze as birthing a baby could possibly be. I had a nice nap, midwife took a look, we decided I was ready and I pushed for 10 minutes before baby arrived. It was the best nap I’d had for weeks.
My first arrived two days before his due date, so with my second kid I planned to work till 39.5 (desk job, uncomplicated pregnancy, wfh), which happened to be a Friday to wrap up that work week. I also had a spreadsheet with all the handover plans ready to go before that, just in case. But all went as planned and kid 2 was born the day before her due date.
anon says
I’m in California, so our state Pregnancy Disability Leave (a % of salary up to a cap + job protection) kicks in at 36 weeks for a uncomplicated pregnancy and doesn’t take away from leave after the birth assuming one won’t need greatly in excess of typical recovery time. I took off right at 36 weeks when I was in big law and around 39 weeks when in a less intense job.
I’m so glad I could go into labor as rested as possible for a heavily pregnant woman.
Anon says
Yes my CA friends all went out starting at 36 weeks because of this.