Are You Still Paying For Childcare like Daycare or a Nanny? (Are You Seeing Babysitters, Nannies, Grandparents?)
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One of the biggest questions right now for working parents is CHILDCARE — when the regular system can resume, whether you’ll lose your spot/caregiver if you don’t keep paying, etc, etc. So let’s discuss! Here are a few questions to kickstart the discussion, but obviously each situation will be different…
If your kids’ daycare has closed, are you still paying for daycare? How has your daycare dealt with the #stayathome orders, if your state has one — has there been a way to pause services? If you have decided to end your payments, are you worried about getting a spot when things open up again? (There was just a great thread on this on Corporette, and another one here…)
If you still have the option for daycare (or school!) (for example, you’re an “essential employee” and childcare is provided through your work) — are you sending your kids? (Some states have closed all childcare centers except for those serving essential workers; some states only have “recommended school closures.”) Are you nervous about your kids contracting COVID-19 from someone there and/or passing it to others?
If you have a nanny or babysitter, are you still paying them even if they are social distncing and not coming to your home? How long do you plan to do that? If you your nanny/babysitter HAS been coming to your home, have you taken extra steps to insure that it’s a “closed loop,” or that you’ve socially distanced long enough to ensure that none of you have been exposed to the virus?
If you have grandparents watching your kids as a large part of your childcare, are they still doing so, or are you social distancing from them? (We talked about granny as nanny a few years ago!) If they have been coming to your home (if they don’t live with you regularly, have you taken extra steps to insure that it’s a “closed loop”? If you did social distance for a while, when did you decide (or when will you decide) that you’ve socially distanced long enough?
Are you enlisting older siblings to watch your younger child(ren)? How is that going? Is it something new you are trying, or have they watched their siblings before?
Have you tried virtual babysitting, by asking either a relative, friend, or an existing babysitter? Or would it not work well for your child(ren)? (Or is screentime in general your new babysitter?)
When do you think it will be safe to send kids to daycare or school again? In the federal government’s plan to reopen segments of the country, the first steps include “reopen[ing] community settings where children are cared for, including K-12 schools, daycares, and locally attended summer camps, to allow the workforce to return to work.”
There are no easy answers right now!
Here’s one brilliant idea I read about somewhere: If you need to go to the grocery store, for example, but can’t leave the kid(s) home alone, see if you can get a friend, family member, or care provider with a car to “babysit” your kids while you go into the store. Everyone stays in their own cars, but you park right next to each other so the babysitter can see the kids. When the weather is warmer, in theory, people could do the same and “watch” kids from a distance…
Stock photo via Pexels / Gustavo Fring.
In Los Angeles the stay at home order came mid-March and all school districts closed but our private preschool was still open. We kept our 4 year old home out of an abundance of caution but still paid for another month+ as I was fortunate enough to WFH. The school decided to suspend payments mid-April but we decided to withdraw him permanently. He starts TK in August and looks like LA won’t start re-opening until May/June so DH and I will be home with him until then.
DH and I opted to have my mom come at early end of pandemic and stay with us to care for 5mo when daycare closed in PA in mid-March and he was still going to office. We all practiced strict social distancing and DH cleaned up and changed clothes when returning home. She just went back home for 2 weeks (and will stay home!) while we both WFH. 4 days in… and man was that a luxury. Daycare hasn’t charged us, so we paid her. Will probably replicate this if closure continues on… which, with PA schools closing can’t imagine daycare opens anytime soon.
We have an after school/summer nanny who is not coming due to social distancing. We are still paying her and will continue to do so unless a pay cut for one or both of us changes our ability to do so. We may need to reevaluate in the summer when she would normally be full time, as we’d be paying her $1000/week to not work. But, I’m cognizant of the fact that we are a big part of her income during the school year and her entire income during the summer. We love her, and we are lucky to have her, and we want her back when this is over.
Our older two are in middle school and have been helping with their little sister some. Mostly, they are just playing with her, but it’s easier to work while she’s outside when she’s out there playing with her older siblings. We live in a really insulated little neighborhood, so it’s pretty safe either way, but it gives me comfort. They’ve also helped her with some of her school work–working through phonics or math lessons. Sometimes, it’s enough of a treat to do work with them that she will do it a little more enthusiastically.
Two kids in full time preschool/daycare currently closed by the state through end of the school year. We are paying about 1/3 tuition as a donation as we love the school and want them to be able to retain as many teachers as possible or at least keep their health insurance – many have worked there 10-20 years. School is proving hourly optional zooms which we mostly don’t do, but it’s good to keep some school community going and the twice weekly religious programming is a good way to keep the kids’ usual routine. What I’m really anxious about is our deposit for private school kindergarten for next year…
Our daycare shut in mid-March and stopped charging tuition but has asked for donations in order to keep paying the staff without taking too much from their reserves so they’ll still have a buffer when they can re-open. They also just got a loan through the CARES act which will help. We donated remaining March tuition and April tuition because we a) think it’s the right thing to do to keep paying the teachers, who are financially strained living in a VHCOL, b) we want the teachers to stay with the center and be ready to go when it can re-open, and c) we had access to a very generous employer match that we wanted to maximize. Now with the loan, not sure what we’ll do for May if they can’t open. We’re in the fortunate position that I’m on maternity leave with #3, so we’re not trying to juggle two parents working, but wow is it hard to manage 3 kids 4 and under solo! I’m so impressed with SAHMs who do this all the time. I’m also freaked out I may be laid off given all so using this as a “practice run” in case it becomes our new reality…
I’m very jealous of families with au pairs right now.
My state has shelter in place at least through 5/3. Last day at preschool was 3/13. Paid half tuition for April voluntarily, not sure what we’ll do for May. Desperately want to hire a PT sitter so that my kid’s brain isn’t turned completely to mush by Doc McStuffins and Paw Patrol as DH and I both have to work FT still.
In Virginia. Our governor allowed daycares to stay open, provided the daycare follows additional restrictions on social distancing, smaller class sizes and prioritizing children of essential workers. My daycare remains open as a result. We are not sending our child but still pay
I have one kid (3) in Montessori school. His last day to attend was March 5. I paid full tuition for March and April but I will not be paying for May. I don’t expect it to be open before the Fall. I may re-enroll him then, but I will likely lose my job soon so I’ll decide that when it happens. My SIL moved in with us and is helping with child care while DH and I work FT. We’re not seeing grandparents because they are high risk and live far away.
We have/had one kid in first grade and one kid in full-time daycare. Schools closed for the year in mid-March; daycare remained open until fairly recently but we haven’t sent our 3 yr old there since mid-March because my husband is able to watch both of them at home.
Our daycare (allegedly?) paid employees until the center closed, although they didn’t ask for parents who were not sending kids to pay. So we’ve had a month with no childcare bills, which is nice.
Next month we’re going to have to start paying for our spot in a new center in the city we’ll be relocating to, which will remain open as it’s affiliated with a hospital. Very thankful we won’t have to pay for two spots (current city, future city) which is what we were anticipating.
I have one kid in daycare. It’s closed now, but we started keeping her home about 2 weeks before the official closing because we didn’t feel comfortable sending her. Daycare says it will reevaluate on May 6, but I don’t have high hopes that it’ll reopen that soon. We are currently paying 25% tuition to keep our spot. It would’ve been 75% but the daycare applied for, and got, some money through the CARES Act to keep paying the teachers.
I have no clue what we’ll do if daycare is closed through the summer. Our older child enough to fend for himself at home right now, but the younger kiddo still needs a lot from us. What we’re doing now isn’t sustainable; productivity has tanked. Older kid watching younger kid usually results in fighting because younger kid totally resists being “bossed” by her big brother.
In the current environment, I’m not sure how we’d even find a sitter.
Our kindergartener is out of school for the rest of the academic year, and her after care program stopped charging tuition (which was pretty low to begin with). Daycare for our toddler closed a few weeks ago and also stopped charging tuition. We both still have our jobs and are setting the extra money aside in the event we lose income or need to figure out extra childcare this summer (if we need to hire a nanny, for example, so that we can go back to work). We do have an after-school sitter who we’ve continued to pay, even though we’re not currently using her. I’m hopeful once the stay at home order lifts (maybe) at the end of the month that we can get some relief, or at least let my kids spend a couple of hours with their grandparents. We have been socially distancing to the extreme and are managing to both get some work done, but we’re exhausted.
My state has a stay at home order, but daycare is expressly exempt as “essential business” and a lot of daycares in my area are open. However my university-run daycare voluntarily shut in mid-March, about a week before our state’s SAH order. They are not charging tuition currently. The university president has guaranteed all university employees will remain in paid status through June 30. I am desperately hoping, but not that optimistic, that daycare can reopen by July 1. If it doesn’t and assuming I still have a job (not a sure thing), I would be happy to contribute partial tuition (at least 50%, possibly more) to help support teachers and staff. We love this daycare and the staff and will be devastated if it shuts permanently as a result of this.
We currently have no childcare and are fortunate that we’re managing pretty well without any. My biggest concern is my preschooler’s social development (especially since she’s an only child) and unfortunately bringing in a babysitter or nanny doesn’t fix that problem. As much as we love our daycare, if they don’t reopen by fall, I think we’re going to be looking into other daycares and preschools in the area. I’m really scared my child won’t develop normally if she goes a year or more without interacting with another child. In theory I like the idea of finding another quarantine family and being “quarantine buddies” (especially once the SAH order is lifted) but we don’t have anyone we know well enough to do that (ie., we wouldn’t be any other family’s first choice) which makes me feel guilty and like I’m failing my kid by not having more of a village here.
We have to keep paying our closed DC daycare for 3yo and 1yo to keep our spots. In mid-March, we moved out of DC to my retired parents’ house in a rural area. We couldn’t get our hours in without their help. They are going to burn out soon so we’re taking whatever leave we can accumulate to lessen the burden on them. It would be impossible for those of us with very young kids to telework during regular work hours without help – and our jobs require us to be available during core hours. As Feds, we are not eligible for the explanded FMLA program.
Our two kids (4 and 1.5) are normally in full time daycare. Once they closed, they stopped charging tuition so we haven’t been paying since mid-March. It’s a large center so hopefully they ‘ll be ok financially and all the teachers can come back, assuming it’s within the next few months.
We don’t have other help during the week when we work but my parents (<65, no major health issues, were already retired/WFH and basically living the socially distant life) have come over occasionally on the weekends to take the kids outside and to give us a break. It's a risk we're all willing to take. I think the risk of one of us getting it and passing it on to them will be higher when I return to commuting on public transit/kids are back in daycare vs. now when literally all we do is sit at home, go on walks or go to the grocery store 1x week so I'm not sure how long we can realistically not see each other.
We have a two year old that is usually cared for by a nanny, who we pay on the books. In NYC where there is “PAUSE”/stay at home order, although childcare providers, which may technically include nannies, are considered essential workers. However, our nanny is in her mid-60s — she would have been willing to keep coming in, and in fact I suspect she’s bored at home alone. But we didn’t feel comfortable asking her to take public transportation each day. So we’re still paying her the full salary and juggling childcare between me and my husband, while both WFH full time. Luckily we’ve been able to balance hours on and off. I’ve been a lot busier than my husband due to work (legal work for a bank), but now that the stock market is less hectic, it’s just normal busy which is manageable instead of Hair on Fire like the first two weeks. We’re also continuing to pay our housekeeper who usually comes every other week, even though she’s not cleaning. I feel pretty strongly that because we are continuing to get paid and are not subject to economic insecurity ourselves, it is the right thing to do.