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Here is a budget maternity top that comes in many different colors and two sleeve lengths. This is a solid color top (although there is one striped option) that has no embellishments other than buttons on the side near the ruching. I like that it is a plain crew neck and you can choose whether you want long or short sleeves. My favorite colors are the vibrant ones — “purple red,” purple, teal green — and I like how the buttons contrast on the black and the button style meshes with the olive. This seems like an easy and comfortable maternity basic. It’s between $12.99 and $18.99, depending on color/size combo. Maternity Side-Button T-Shirt
Building a maternity wardrobe for work? Check out our page with more suggestions along both classic and trendy/seasonal lines.
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Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
AnonATL says
I’m a first time mom, due this summer in Georgia. Explain to me what you dress a summer baby in usually. We keep our house around 75-78 depending on the time (cooler at night). Would that mean long sleeve cotton footed pajamas? That seems awfully warm to me.
We have a decent stock of NB sized long sleeve and short sleeve onesies, but very few footed one pieces. I was planning for a long sleeve or short sleeve onesie and then a sleep sack/swaddle at night depending on how warm he is. During the day, I was thinking onesies and little leggings if needed.
Dressing babies is way more complicated than it should be…
Anonanonanon says
They make, even for boys, these gowns that are elasticized at the bottom but go down to their ankles. They. are. the. best. They’re much easier to just lift up for diaper changes, etc, than to try to dress and undress a baby every time. My son was a summer baby in the deep south and these seemed nice because they breathed well and his feet were bare. These were good for both day and night in the newborn phase. That or a onesie without legs. I think I had some cute onesies that were shorts for him too.
ALC says
+1, we liked the Parade Organics brand gown.
Anonymous says
As a counterpoint, I was gifted these for both my kids and never used them, since the loose fabric just annoyed me. So don’t stock up on too many before you know if you like them or not!
anon says
Yeah, I’ve never liked these either.
Anonymous says
Same for me. My kids live in Carters footed pyjamas in the early days. I used a onesie underneath as I found it kept the diaper in place better. Stripped of Pjs and nursed baby in just a onesie.
Anon says
Same.
Anonymous says
Yeah, those just bunched up around my baby’s armpits. They seem like a good idea but maybe it depends on how your baby is shaped.
Cb says
Yes, I loved these. So much easier. We used a love to dream swaddle and these fit in the bottom. So much easier for nappy changes.
Anne says
Hi – it depends on the baby. We dressed our first child in a long sleeve onsie and sleep sack no bottoms to sleep in the summer. In the exact same temperatures we found that our second child slept way better in footed PJs — she seems to do way better too warm than too cold at night but then during the day HATES being sweaty so just wore a tee shirt onsie at home. Also – think about sun protection. You’re not supposed to use sun screen for the first six months so we dressed our daughter in light cotton long sleeve onsie, pants, and socks when we baby wore on walks in the intense summer heat.
Anonymous says
Overheating is a risk factor for SIDS. In cold weather, the rule of thumb is that the baby should wear the same number of layers as an adult, plus one additional layer that’s often a blanket or car seat cover. In the summer, the baby should be dressed in about the same number of layers as an adult.
Keep in mind that babywearing is hot because the baby is in close proximity to your body and because of the carrier itself. I wouldn’t put a baby in long sleeves or long pants for outdoor summer babywearing. I’d create shade with something looser like a nursing cover.
anon says
The standard advice for newborns is to dress them in double the layers you are wearing, but I had summer babies in NY and usually we just had them in onesies because they need to be changed so much. We swaddled them tightly (the Miracle Blanket) when they slept and the swaddle kept the heat in. We used muslin blankets to adjust their temperature during walks in the stroller, etc.
BTW, my pediatrician gave us helpful advice. He said that you can tell if the baby is too hot or cold by feeling the back of his neck. Don’t worry if their hands or feet feel cold–they often feel colder than their trunk and it’s totally normal. If their neck is the right temp, they’re fine.
Anonymous says
We used a miracle blanket swaddle, which has a lot of layers, and our baby was often sweaty in just a diaper. He ended up spending most of his time in just a diaper, or sometimes a short sleeved onesie. When we went out we added pants. He had a ton of hair so we didn’t use hats. Sometimes we used long sleeved footies when out and about for sun protection.
Anon says
I think you’re fine either way, but a special shout out to the cloud island sleep n plays with reversible zipper from Target if you want more footies. You’re likely only going to be in NB sizing for a little bit, so I’d test out what you have with your kid in NB and buy more stuff when you figure out what they like in 0-3m.
Also, we kept our house cooler than usual that first summer because it seemed better for SIDS prevention. (Also postpartum sweats).
CCLA says
These cloud island ones are the absolute best things in the world for newborns IMO. With our second, since we knew what we liked by then, she wore pretty much these and only these day and night for the first 3 months of life. So easy. And yes to keeping the house cool for SIDS prevention.
Anonymous says
We just did onesies mostly. And didn’t need any NB sized ones.
anon. says
Also in SE US – and agree you’ll figure out your baby and what works for you. Our first was a very hot sleeper and was out of the sleep sack early, because no matter what he was in he woke up sweaty in the sleep sack. Our second is in a long sleeved onesie, no socks or pants, also a hot sleeper but still in a sleep sack; she’s a few months old now, but we had her in footed PJs in the sleep sack when she was tiny.
Anonymous says
ALSO: find out what size you and your husband were at birth. Some people in my family have giant babies (>8.5 pounds for generations even though the mothers are in the neighborhood of 5 feet tall) and NB sizes never even fit. If you may have a 5-6 pound baby, NB sizes will work for you (esp. Gerber, which runs really small — like they fit maybe for ONE week before they were too small). We needed NB sizes for 7ish pound babies for a couple of weeks but 0-3 onesies were our stock in trade.
The average of actual babies’ weights at birth is 7 pounds, but that can vary a lot.
Cb says
As a counterpoint, our son was 8lbs14oz and was drowning in 0-3 months (Carters and Baby Gap). But I agree, don’t stock up on NB, we just did laundry every day.
Anonymous says
This — we grownups have an outfit for the day. With babies — that is very optimistic. The poop has a velocity and may shoot out everywhere even if they just pooped and you are changing them. And even in a diaper, it often goes up and over the back. They are just leaky — if not out of one end, out of the other. :) So even if you have NB items, it’s good to have some 0-3 items because you may need them on particularly fruitful days
AnonATL says
lol I am so looking forward to the poo-splosions.
Pogo says
Mine was the same size and did actually wear NB for a bit. I had plenty of gifted NB stuff tho, and in August in NE, he wore onesie + swaddle. I don’t think you’ll need any footed sleepers in NB size, maybe light cotton ones in 0-3, but regardless, LO will be swaddled at night so a regular onesie is prob fine until actual winter.
Anon says
Yep my 8 lb-er never wore NB sizes and was in 3-6M when she was about a month old. Keep in mind that you can always put a baby in clothes that are too long and baggy (especially if you’re swaddling tightly over the clothes) but too-small clothes can really be a struggle to get on and off. Some of my friends teased me and said my baby’s clothes were too big for her, but meh. It was a lot easier than fighting to get her in the tightly-fitted clothes.
Anonymous says
I dunno. I was 8.5lbs, DH was 8lbs, DD was 7lbs and firmly in NB for 3-4 weeks. Had to order some because we didn’t have enough, DS was a surprising 9.5lbs soooo definitely not in NB and then I didn’t have enough 0-3m for him. It’s a crapshoot and you’ll never buy exactly the right thjng
Anon says
I generally think it’s a good idea to have at least a few things on hand that are too big. They grow so fast that you might not realise that they are grown out of something until it no longer fits (or, with us, we figured out that our son no longer fit into NB diapers when he had blowouts), and the Coronavirus-related disruptions to supplies, store hours, etc., mean that you might not even be able to get something last minute.
Anonymous says
My August baby in Atl wore pretty much what you are describing. We loved the gowns. I liked the kimono style onesies for the early months.
anne-on says
+1 – Kimono style onesies were less nerve-wracking for me than trying to wrestle a regular onesie over a baby with no neck control yet. They were fine at about 3~ months plus, but I remember frantically ordering more of the kimono style ones at about 1 week old because they were just so much easier.
Anon Lawyer says
I just pull everything up over their feet.
anne-on says
that….did not occur to me. Brilliant (and about 8 years too late, ha!)
Anonymous says
Our spring baby in the DC area was in Just a short sleeved onesie during the day from April to September. Short sleeved onesie plus swaddle at night. More covered up if in the sun, though.
anonn says
this was our July baby in Kansas. Our AC can barely keep up with Kansas summers, but still we keep it around 73-74 at night. She did not wear pants or footie pajamas until September/October.
anon says
Same for my July baby in St. Louis (a hot and humid place in the summer). Short sleeve onesie during the day. Short sleeve onsie + Halo swaddle sleep sack at night.
Anon says
Massachusetts July baby – we dressed him in short sleeved onesies with pants during the day and just kept a swaddle nearby in case he needed a cover/additional layer. It seemed to work well. I also looooooooved the Aden and Anais muslin one-pieces with feet. Incredibly soft and warm but also super breathable. I found them at Nordstrom Rack and Marshalls and bought more every time I saw them.
Anonymous says
Kimono onesies are the best because their heads are floppy at that age and it’s a pain to put stuff on over their heads. I usually did a onesie + a swaddle. Pants, if no swaddle. Also I had a skinny baby and footed onesies with zippers were bad because the zipper would bunch up. The ones with snaps were great.
Child care status? says
I know most people on here (those without a SAH partner anyway) are doing the two-parent WFH and alternating child care thing at the moment. Is anyone doing something else, whether it be a nanny or a neighbor, a grandparent helping out, or something else?
Not trying to start a debate over what people *should* be doing so – I know the majority opinion on this board is that everyone should be WFH while watching their kids right now, given the extreme circumstances. I’m just wondering if there are others here who can’t/aren’t doing that for whatever reason and what you’re doing instead.
Anonymous says
My kids are school age. Our usual sitter is a teacher (on WFH now) and if summer camps are cancelled, I will have her come for a few weeks as scheduled originally. Right now, our space is too small to cram another adult into it and there is nothing for them to do anyway after a month in 900 sq feet and nowhere they can go except on yet another walk around the neighborhood. :(
Cb says
If I had the room, I would have definitely hired a college student or nursery teacher to ‘live in’ with us. I think it’s a safe way to do it, if you form your own closed loop.
Extra anon for this says
We have an out-of-work school system employee as our “pandemic nanny” for my school-aged child and 2-year-old. We are both public health and healthcare emergency managers and while I’m able to telework MOST days, my husband is out of the house for 11-13 hours every single day, including Easter yesterday. The days I have to go to a warehouse, site walkthrough, etc. I have very little notice and wouldn’t be able to plan ahead. Daycares are still open in our state but so many kids were still going that we pulled the 2-year-old out because I’m high risk and we wanted to minimize our outside contacts. She’s an in-home provider that we treasure, so we are still paying her since she’s open and we don’t want to disrupt her livelihood.
Even if summer camps open this summer I’m pulling my son out. Hopefully, my daughter will be back at her usual provider, but his is a week-by-week camp which means a different cohort of kids every week and a lot of new exposures. I’m not comfortable with that, and he’s old enough to entertain himself at home most of the day and be left home alone for short periods of time with his cell phone watch on and our neighbors home to keep an eye out. It’s not what I would have done before this, but things are different now.
We interviewed the nanny fairly extensively about her social distancing efforts Fwiw and included the importance of that in the posting. It factored into our choice (one lady had teenage sons, and I did not trust that they’d be socially distancing all day while she was at our house).
Anonymous says
I have one young elem kiddo, a 2 y/o and a preschooler that were both in the same FT daycare/preschool. DH has the bigger job, works VERY full time, and his company is in the process of selling. I work PT about 30 hours/week and have the ability to take on or not take on additional hours– so I’ve scaled down to 20/25 hours.
DH’s mom (61) lives alone in a town near us and works part time. Her hours have been reduced and what hours she has left she can do remotely- she’s in a bookkeeper type role. She comes over from 9:30-12:30/1 almost every day.
Our schedule is:
DH works from 7:30-3
I get the kids fed and ready for the day and prep a snack and make sure we have stuff for lunch from when the kids wake up until my MIL arrives at 9:30.
I work and do household work/prep (cooking, shopping, some cleaning) from when MIL arrives at 9:30-3 or so, then again from 4-5:30 (this is usually a call with my business partner combined with meal prep). I’d say of the time block, most is work but since we’ve had to cancel our cleaners, there is a lot more housework than I’d like.
My older two are “alone” from 1-3. My oldest reads for an hour, my preschooler will usually do some kind of semi-educational thing (ABC mouse, Kahn academy, listen to a book on her Kindle etc). Then they get an hour of “free choice” which is most often TV. From 3-5 or so, all 3 play outside most days with DH supervising. He will often keep an eye on them riding bikes in the driveway/cul de sac or on the swingset while doing a 1:1 with someone on his team. He doesn’t stay on the phone the whole time and will usually get them playing tag or soccer or working in the yard a bit.
We eat dinner 5:45-6:15, all work to clean up the house until ~7, then it’s bath and bedtime at 7:45. Toddler stays up until 8:30 sitting on the couch with one grown up (who is often having a glass of wine) will the other cleans up the kitchen if it hasn’t been cleaned. The grown up on the couch is usually the one that did laundry while supervising bath time.
We do most of MIL’s food shopping for her (she’s healthy but why go out?) and pay for the groceries. We’ve given her money as a thank-you for helping us out– she could use it, we aren’t paying for daycare, and she is SAVING US.
I should note that MIL runs “school” with the kids- same routine every day. It’s mostly crafts and stuff, but she’s getting worksheets for the preschooler and worksheets and reading work for my 1st grader. I work with my 1st grader on her virtual learning sometimes in the AM if she wakes up early and sometimes during that 1-3 block. She doesn’t do all the virtual learning assigned to her, but I’ve talked to her teacher and we are 100% aligned.
My preschooler and 1st grader also have Zoom calls with their class, teacher, and some activities (one kid has online art class, both kids have dance class online now).
anon for this says
My mother comes over from 9:00 – 1:00 (naptime). She does not work and leaves the house only to grocery shop or pick up meds at pharmacy (same as us). My father stays at home except for doctor’s appointments.
I know this board is pretty adamant about no grandparent contact so that’s why I’m going anon. But at 1month in and no symptoms for any of us, I feel OK with the arrangement. It’s great for both LO and my mom. She is normally very active in her community and everything being cancelled is making her stir crazy, she loves spending the time with him.
We are paying daycare (closed by state) 50% per their request.
I do not know how we could work our (essential) jobs without this support. We both have too many critical calls, last-minute requests, etc. As it is, the 7:30 am – 9:00 and then 3:00 – 6:00 pm times are tough as we both often have to work during those times. It’s a struggle. I can’t believe how much I took for granted guaranteed care from 7:30-5:30 every single day.
Anon says
I’m friends with a couple that are both essential employees working outside the home. Their daycare is closed. They are bringing their son to one of their parent’s houses for childcare during this time.
My other dual essential worker couple friend has one working outside the house and one working in the house but she is doing tele-medicine calls all day and absolutely can’t watch an infant at the same time. Her father in law is coming over daily to watch their son.
Anon says
We still have our nanny (both WFH). We have three kids five and under. Usually older two would have school from 8:30 to 11:30 or 2:00 and she’d be focused on baby, so I’m still helping out quite a lot because we’re here and watching all three at the same time can be challenging. We’ve done a couple weeks with just us (no nanny) and that was exhausting (one of us had a cold we decided was allergies but just to be sure had her stay away that week, and one week where a kid was under the weather and same thing). She drives herself to work so no public transit. In a major Texas city.
Anon says
we have our usual nanny. we live in a state where this is permitted, our nanny drives to our apartment and our apartment is the only place she is going. we have twin 21 month olds in a 2 bedroom apartment. if i lived in a state with a greater number of cases or different rules we would most certainly comply with them.
Anon says
Basically the same deal here. Our regular nanny is still coming. She lives alone and doesn’t go anywhere else so it’s a pretty closed loop. Nannies are still permitted here; we’ll obviously stop if that changes. But for now, it feels ok.
We also try to be even more scrupulous we otherwise would to compensate for this exposure – we basically don’t leave our property. And we buy our nanny’s groceries along with ours (usually delivered, but if we run of essentials and need to go to the store, I’ll shop for her as well), which also cuts the exposure of our total unit.
Anon says
We still have our nanny for my 18 month old. She lives alone and is practicing social distancing, so we feel comfortable. I am essential and have to occasionally go into work, but mostly DH and I telework. My county has also not been hard hit, so that made the decision easier. I would of course revisit if things got worse (but the opposite seems true, thankfully).
anon says
Dual big law. We hired a temporary nanny for 8 hours of coverage a day. We couldn’t find someone that wanted to live in, so we found someone who lives with her husband who is working from home, drives to us, and she and her husband stayed home for 2 weeks before starting with us, and we did the same, except for grocery runs. I know its not perfect but we couldn’t physically watch an infant and keep up with work demands and get anything approaching enough sleep otherwise.
Anon says
My high school aged niece is coming for about 2 and half hours most days, which isn’t a ton but it helps and it also breaks up the day. Two kids who are 3 yo and 8 months. Other than seeing niece, we are strict about staying at home (as is her family). We tried to hire a daycare teacher with no luck. Otherwise we trade off and both log on at night but it’s hard and frankly people in my office haven’t been very understanding because few people have young kids or spouses who work.
Anon for this says
Our full-day preschool is matching up teachers with one or two families for in-home nanny shares (in-home nannies are allowed under our state’s order; nanny shares not directly addressed). Preschool is also offering virtual programming. We are doing the in-home nanny share for 7 hours a day. It was a bit of a calculated risk, obviously, but we had a frank conversation with the teacher and the other family about our strict social distancing. We had all been isolated for two weeks prior to the start and all have continued our isolation except for the nanny share. It takes a lot of trust.
I do feel bad about it because it is not strict isolation. But before we started this, I was simply not able to bill enough. Others at my firm just kept their nannies coming so I was an outlier. I cannot afford to lose my job and spouse is in gov’t working on covid and non-covid issues. We also have a baby and we are taking care of the baby. The baby’s nanny (also a nanny share) is staying at home and we are paying her.
So Anon says
Single mom of two young elementary school kids, WFH full-time. Yes, I have help. My college-aged babysitter is now my nanny for my kids about 12 hours per week. Even with an understanding employer, there was no way I could hold down my job without some help. Her family and mine were in strict isolation for two weeks before we started this.
Anon says
We’re thinking of doing something similar. How did you handle the social-isolation conversation with your sitter? I’m struggling with this because I don’t want to be overbearing but I know it’s necessary to talk about – it just feels so awkward!
Em says
My husband and I are both essential employees, although I have the ability to WFH and his office sent 8 of their 10 employees home to WFH so it is just him and his boss in the office. We have one 4-year-old and our daycare is still open but we pulled him back in early/mid-March. He splits time at home with me and at my parents’ house 2 blocks away, and I usually work late after my husband gets home. My parents made the decision early on that they wanted to be in our quarantine bubble, and my mom has a teaching degree, so it has worked out pretty well. My in-laws are front-line workers so we had to quarantine from them.
Anon says
Yes, our usual nanny is still coming to our house to care for our 3 year old. We’re a dual lawyer household, and I’m pregnant with my second. We could have flexed our schedules to try to make it work, but that would be miserable for everyone involved. We’ve had many discussions with our nanny about safety and social distancing measures, and all appears to be working out so far.
Anon says
We still have our nanny coming over for her usual schedule (2 WFH parents). I am 38 weeks pregnant and she’s our childcare for our toddler when I go into the hospital to have this baby within the next 5-10 days, so we couldn’t keep her away forever (our only local family works in a hospital setting, so they’re out of the childcare picture indefinitely). We paid her to stay home for 2 weeks on “quarantine leave” when this all started to ensure both she and our family were healthy. Once we all made it 14 days of extreme social distancing with no symptoms, we felt comfortable having her back.
Nothing is 100% risk-free at this point. I totally trust her to quarantine and follow social distancing, but I feel better knowing that she’s in our house 8 hours a day following our quarantine “rules” than at her own home where she could get bored waiting for me to have this baby and potentially venture out a little more/expose herself more than we would be comfortable with. Plus I’m so pregnant that I can barely pick up my kid anymore, let alone haul my massively pregnant self up the stairs, so I don’t know how I would physically cope being on full childcare duty all day without my husband (who needs to work) or our nanny around to help.
anonn says
Our toddler is still in daycare. We are in a Midwest city that implemented social distancing measures relatively early, before we even had confirmed community spread. We’re both WFH. We decided to keep sending her for the structure and social interaction because she’s an only child, and also because her teachers want to keep getting hours. We do not see anyone else or go anywhere and haven’t for 3+ weeks. From talking to coworkers and friends, a lot of people are still sending their kids to daycare in my city, even if both parents are working from home. That’s basically what my daycare director told me too. Some kids have parents on front lines, but most are wfh. Attendance has been maybe 30% of normal for the last 3 weeks though
anon says
My mom already lived with us and does childcare during working hours, so we were able to continue with that. I would absolutely have moved her in if that wasn’t already the case.
My MIL insists on continuing to work in a retail store so we don’t see that set of grandparents. (She does NOT need the money). If she wasn’t working, we would send the kids to the in-laws as well.
octagon says
We reached out to a school system employee and had the distancing conversation. She wants to come and work for us so this is week 2 of 3 we have asked her to isolate. She starts next week and frankly it can’t come fast enough. There is literally no way that we can both work and watch kiddo with no end in sight. Yes it’s a risk to have her come into my house but unless one of us goes part time or takes leave we can’t make it work with a very energetic 4 year old.
Cb says
My son (3 in August) is only napping about every 2 or 3 days. I suspect it’s the end of the nap, he’s sleeping 7:30 – 7:30 these days, but was consistently getting two hours at home pre-lockdown (shorter at nursery). I really can’t handle him dropping his nap – we’re both WFH while nursery is closed and struggling to keep up. Is it mean to keep putting him down knowing he likely won’t sleep? He rolls around, sings, and talks, and plays with his bunnies and we go and get him once the nap window is coming to an end. He’s still in his cot so he can’t really get up and play if he doesn’t want to sleep.
lsw says
My son (3.5) hasn’t napped consistently since around 2 At daycare and at home we still put him down for “quiet time” every day in his room. He usually plays or reads books or whatever in his crib. Unfortunately right now sometimes he won’t stay put unless one of us is in his room, but we’ll work on a laptop and ignore him. It only lasts about a half hour most days but we’ll take what we can get.
Anonanonanon says
It’s not mean. It’s quiet time to unwind, we all need that! He’d cry if he was miserable.
Anon says
Yep, this My 3yo twins nap 80% of the time, but there are days where one of them just lies in her bed awake for 2 hours. I think quiet rest time is good for them, even if they’re not actually sleeping, and their parents need that afternoon break.
anne-on says
+1 – my son took LONG (3-4 hour) naps for a good while. When he seemed to be ready to drop those we instead went to 60-90 minute after lunch ‘quiet time’ where he could look at books, or play with toys in bed, quietly. They did something similar in the 4’s room and at preschool so he was used to the ‘rest’ time. Some days he actually slept, but either way the quiet time was nice for us all.
Anon says
Yup. I would only drop it if it’s interfering with his night sleep.
Anonymous says
Seriously. 3 year olds do not suffer in silence!
SC says
+1 that he’d cry if he were miserable. My kid is turning 5 next week, and he rarely naps at school or at home. We still do quiet time. The current system at home is 20-30 minutes of reading with a parent, 20 minutes of laying in bed alone, and then 40 minutes of “alone time,” which is screen-free play time by himself in his play room. Kiddo resists this whole thing, but I think he feels better afterwards. The “alone” time is a middle step (introduced around 4.5 years old) because it became too hard for him to stay in bed for an hour. It gives us parents a break. Also, the activities he chooses during alone time seem to be low stress and relaxing for him, so it’s still a bit of a break for him.
Clementine says
Everybody in my house gets ‘quiet time’. Sometimes that means you nap, sometimes you lay in bed with books, sometimes you can quietly play with legos on the floor (older kids).
That time is sacred and happens at the same time every day (1-3).
Cb says
Thanks everyone! That’s super helpful. He protests for a few minutes when we put him down (after a book and song) but then settles in. He’s sleeping well at night, which makes me think if we keep him in the routine, he may go back to napping when he returns to nursery, as he has to be up earlier.
Redux says
I may have gotten this idea from you or someone else on this board, but I LOVE “quiet time.” My 3 year old still naps, but my 6 year old does arts and crafts or some other independent activity during that window and it is awesome. Much needed downtime for the parents (and forces me to model quiet activities like reading, instead of being too busy during that time).
Toddler Rash? says
I have a call in to our pedi, but while I await for a call back, I thought I’d ask here. Also, i’m nearly sure they’re going to tell us to come in which I strongly dislike but will do if necessary/recommended.
2 year old DD has a rash (?) in small areas all over her body – a little around the mouth, in the joint of her arm, around the top of her diaper line, around the diaper line where butt meets top of leg, top of chest, a small spot on her neck. It’s been present for 1.5 weeks and slowly becoming more pronounced. It’s small areas of little red raised bumps. She doesn’t seem to be itching at all, no fever, no change of attitude, energy or appetite. No changes to her environment (we’ve been home for a month+ now). Only think I can think of is we’re playing outside more, obviously, but she’s not rolling around in the grass or anything. Anyone seen something like this before? We’ve had HFM before and this is 100% not it. What else should I be thinking of while I talk to the doctor?
anne-on says
That sounds like eczema to me – does she get allergies? Eczema and allergies are absolutely linked. I’d be a little extra vigilant with the lotion, take shorter cooler showers or baths, and ask your doctor about cortisone cream if it seems like she’s itchy.
OP says
Thanks. No known allergies. It doesn’t flake, if that matters. Doesn’t present as traditionally dry skin. And, in most cases it’s not even a red patch (only on her neck). Only the isolated little tiny bumps themselves are red. I will ask about eczema though – never crossed my mind!
Anon says
Yes it sounds like eczema. The fact that it’s in the joints is a big giveaway. Your ped can call in a steroid cream. That cream has helped my kiddo a lot. My DD has no known allergies ether, fwiw. Ped said she will probably have pollen and other seasonal allergies but those don’t present until later in life. It’s only food allergies that show up in infancy.
Cb says
Has it gotten warmer? Could clothes be rubbing / tugging? Change of detergent?
Anonymous says
Agree. My kids have eczema and one trigger is sweat. Based on the areas you describe and the outdoor play, is she getting sweaty? Use scent free detergent, lukewarm baths, moisturize with cerave or cetaphil afterwards. Give the irritated areas a wipe down with a cool wet facecloth when you come inside.
Realist says
My child has a lot of allergies and one of her earlier signs was skin rash. It sounds cliche and also doesn’t work for everyone, but the persistent face rash cleared after we purged all dairy and gluten from diet. It was tough but worth it as it also markedly helped kid’s cough-presentation asthma. We focus on a diet of mostly meat, vegetables and fruit, organic when possible. We use grains and processed foods sparingly (for grains, only organic rice and oats, no wheat and very rarely corn). Keeping a food diary can be helpful to note patterns. Always a bath or shower before bed (rinses off pollens or other allergens). Sleeping space is kept very allergy friendly. We only use child’s room for sleep, not for playtime or other activity. Sheets washed once a week in hot water. Vacuum once a week. All of this is no fun but worth it for a healthy, rash-free kid. Maybe helpful for you, maybe not, but just providing tips that took our family years to figure out (our MD doctors were not helpful with any of this, just prescribed inhaler after inhaler and some creams, with limited success; the diet changes were the big game-changer for us and the only thing that helped clear up the rash).
I hope you get a telehealth appointment and don’t have to go in, OP. Good luck in figuring this out.
Anon says
If it is eczema, a bath may do more harm than good. We only bathe our eczema-suffering toddler once a week per ped’s instructions.
AwayEmily says
My 2yo has almost the exact same thing right now — little red dots all over his back. Only his back. And a few bigger red areas, mostly around the top of his diaper. They are a bit itchy but not horribly so. Honestly it looks like chicken pox more than anything else, but obviously it is not chicken pox since he hasn’t seen anyone in over 30 days. At some point I will call the ped, but when we’ve called before about random rashes they always say they won’t even offer a suggestion unless you bring the kid in (understandably so), so I am following this with interest.
OP says
Just talked to nurse at the pedi. She is having us do a virtual visit with a doctor at 3:30 pm today (could have done sooner but non-urgent and I don’t want to interrupt nap time). She said what I was describing was a little puzzling, especially as there have been no changes to foods, soaps, etc. – she would have expected dryness or itching for something more normal. I’ll report back if we get any conclusions. I’m not sure they’ll get a good look at it via a laptop camera, but it’s better than nothing right now.
anon says
You might try taking a picture with your cell phone and email them to the doctor in advance so you don’t have to worry about lighting and a squirmy kid during the call.
luluaj says
My 2 year old had it last month. And the areas of her body (first her back, then upper legs, then belly, then cheeks) with the bumps would change – the last being the bottom of her feet. I took her to the pediatrician (pre-covid lockdown) to take a look. They diagnosed it as a virus and prescribed extra strength cortisone which seemed to somewhat help. Two weeks later, it all disappeared.
AwayEmily says
Oh interesting. My older kid sometimes gets viruses that present as rashes (as in, everyone in her class will be felled by some virus and she has a bright red rash for days, but no fever), so maybe that’s what is happening to the younger one too.
Anonymous says
I think this may not resonate with everyone here, but I am starting to be concerned about going back to work after this. I don’t think I would like staying home full-time (and I love our daycare), but I love the extra time with my kids.
Most weeks, I only see them for about an hour in the morning (and it’s all a rush) and then 2-3 hours in the evening. Weekends are all together but it doesn’t feel like enough time to get in fun (like the children’s museum and the zoo) and have downtime at home for dance parties and playing in the yard),
Having no commute and taking lunchtime walks is so much fun right now. I don’t want to go back to rushing back and forth to daycare to make drop off and pickup times and only a few hours per day with the kids (never mind the usual struggle to fit in exercise). Anyone have a unicorn setup they can share? Or tips for increasing kiddo time/decreasing stress?
I work in a high face-time job, but am hoping there will be more WFH flexibility now that we all had to do it for awhile. Historically, it has been WFH only if you don’t have any meetings, which is never the case for me.
Realist says
My unicorn solution was to specialize in a niche and quit and open up my own practice from home to work 20-25 hours a week. It only works because my spouse could support us financially while I got up and running, we have health insurance through spouse, and we have made insurance arrangements to protect me financially if spouse dies or becomes disabled. There are still drawbacks. Nothing is ideal. But it was the only way my family could find balance. We have no family near us and has too many childcare emergencies arise when we were both trying to go all-in on our careers.
Anonymous says
I did something similar (not a lawyer). I went into business/ co-consulting with a former colleague. Colleague does sales and i do project delivery. i work about 20 hours/week on average and end up making about $120k/year (before taxes, which are much higher because it’s all 1099). Previously, I’d made about $180k pretax (but less came out in taxes and I had benefits like a company matched 401k). This only works because DH works FT and has all the (great) benefits. I have my own self employed 401k. No paid time off, obviously, so I factor that into my schedule.
I’m terrible at sales/selling and she hates delivering, so it works well most of the time.
Anon says
How long is your commute? Are there options for jobs with shorter hours or shorter commutes? Could you use PTO to take random days off with your kids, or get them a few hours early from daycare? I have what I consider a pretty good setup – I work 9-5 mostly with daycare at my employer and a short commute. I still don’t see my toddler much more than what you’re describing but that’s because she’s in bed for ~13 hours at night (asleep for 12). When she’s older and sleeping less I feel like we’ll have a lot of time together. My boss also isn’t strict about face time, so if I don’t have meetings I sometimes leave around 3 and get my kiddo early (and work after bedtime as needed), which gives us more time together. I work from home once/week but that doesn’t really increase my kid time, since daycare is at my employer. I took a huge paycut for this job but am very happy with the balance.
Anonymous says
My commute is about 30 minutes each way but is through town and pretty stressful. I also have a low threshold because my last job only required a 5 minute commute (10 by public transportation).
Anonanonanon says
Having WFH flexibility helps a lot, I’d give that a shot when things settle down. There is something to be said for being able to throw a load of laundry in while on a conference call, or get dinner going in the crockpot for your kids before you leave to pick them up, etc. I find it makes the evenings calmer than when I was bum-in-seat 8-5 5 days a week and I cram fewer chores into the evenings/weekends.
also, I think we all have a primal urge to be near our kids, have them in our sight, see that they’re OK and happy right now. Maybe when things are calmer you won’t feel that pull as much?
Cb says
I work a compressed schedule so I’m off Tuesday AM and work late on Tuesday PM. My husband is off Tuesday PM. It gives us each a solid chunk of kid time – to go to storytime at the library, sit in a cafe, just have a lazy playday at home. I really love it!
Anonymous says
That’s a nice idea! I like that it is mid-week too!
anon says
I could’ve written this exact post. I’ve always felt a pull to stay home even though I think I would struggle with it day to day. It’s rough trying to work full time now but even so I’m enjoying it.
Eek says
Same! This sums up how I feel 100%.
anon says
I could have written this. I’m really loving being home! And my DH is definitely the breadwinner in our household so technically I could do it. I think my kids have benefited too. Right now my job is secure and it’s a really good situation and position (and yet I’m loving being home!) but if this job falls through due to the economy or changing circumstances I’m almost certainly going to stay home for a time. I never would have considered that pre-pandemic. I never would have thought I could be happy with that, but it’s been so nice. The return to normal is going to be rough for me and my kids (and I realize we’re super lucky that I can say any of these things). We have three kids five and under, so I don’t think I’d be bored.
I have a lot of guilt about the idea. It probably won’t come to pass. I always considered being a working mom to be a major part of my identity. But now it just doesn’t feel as important.
anon says
I could have written this same exact post. If I get laid off, I will stay at home for at least a year. The pandemic would explain the resume gap.
Emily S. says
I have mixed feelings about returning, too. I like my job and I carry our health insurance, have a great retirement plan, etc., so it’s really not in the cards for me to quit, but I love not rushing in the morning and enjoying the evenings. I currently WFH one day a week, but I am hoping (not optimistic) that I’ll be able to add a second day when we eventually go back. I imagine going back to work will feel like going back after maternity leave, a roller coaster of joy and grief.
anon says
This, completely. It is hard juggling all the balls at home but I am enjoying being here more than I ever thought I would. It’s also really nice to not waste time commuting and dealing with the hustle of the day. I feel more focused/less tired now than before all this started. Going back is going to be HARD.
Anonymous says
Just chiming in to say I feel the same way. My husband has OK benefits and earns enough so that if my income dropped by up to 40% we would be fine. As a result, I am thinking about pursuing more WFH days in the short-term, and possibly trying to move part-time or into freelance consulting longer-term. I have LOVED the extra time with my toddler daughter even though it has been stressful to stay caught up on work without childcare. I currently have a ~45 min commute (live in an outlying part of NYC), longer when I have to meet in-person with my clients, so that impacts my quality of life too.
octagon says
Yes! I had been WFH one day a week but am definitely going to ask for 2 or maybe even 3 when all this is over. I’m also seriously considering going to an AWS schedule of working 9-hour days and taking every other Friday off. I already work about 9 hours when daycare is open and I don’t have a commute. I should turn that into time back to myself.
Anon says
My just turned 2 year old is suddenly terrified of everything. New fears just over the weekend include ants, our robot vacuum and, most bizarrely, wind. Is this normal development or do you think it’s related to the current situation? She seems pretty happy to be spending so much time at home with us, but obviously her routine is disrupted.
AwayEmily says
I think that’s a regular developmental stage. From about 23 – 25 months my son developed a new “fear” every day. (favorite phrase about everything: “it too SCARY!”) I think it was mostly just him learning the concept of fear and then experimenting with it.
Anon says
Yup, my daughter is 26 months and we’re working through some weird fears right now (also wind and the sound of the conch shell on a Hawaiian vacation a few months ago – who would have thought?). We do a lot of talking about what the fear is and that it can’t hurt us, because it’s usually something that she doesn’t need to be afraid of. We also talk about how she’s with Mommy/Daddy/Nanny/whoever and how that person will keep her safe. We’ve also been working to teach her to ask questions about things she doesn’t understand versus immediately be afraid (aka “What’s that noise?”). I have a pretty verbal toddler, though, so this approach may not work for everyone. She seems to be mostly getting over it now and usually only does it for attention now or when she wants extra cuddles/to be babied.
Anonymous says
I have a 2.5 year old and feel this so hard. I don’t remember her older sibling going through this, but now HE is starting to imitate her! Current list: “fuzz” in the bathtub (any clothing fibers, hair, toe lint that is floating around… our tub is really clean, it just takes one “fuzz”!; any bugs, no matter how small or far away, wind, shadows… “I SCARED.” It’s kind of adorable, but sometimes really annoying (as I bend over to pull another fuzz out of the bathtub… those are hard to grab!)
Katy says
My sister kept a kitchen strainer in the bathroom full time for about a year to deal with her kids fuzz phobia. Needs to be decent size for easy grabbing of those suckers!
First Time Mom says
Any other first time mom’s expecting right now and thinking that a silver lining of this quarantine is the lack of shopping/planning you’ve done so far? Granted, I’m only 14 weeks, but I feel like under “normal” circumstances I would have already popped into my favorite neighborhood kids shop to get a few onesies and some books, and maybe taken a trip to the baby big boxes to start getting ideas for bigger ticket items. As it stands, I’ve bought/researched absolutely nothing.
Granted, I have started worrying about how we’ll find a nanny if this is still going on 9 months from now, but that’s a separate issue.
Anon says
Yes. We are in the process of adopting. We have been matched but aren’t telling anyone because nothing is final until a few days after the birth. One of the hardest parts about adopting is making sure you have what you really need for a few weeks and not going overboard in case it all falls through. We are also going to have to travel to get our baby (domestically) and I’m terrified of that with the pandemic and some terrible CDC practices (see the latest article about the exposed cruise passengers that were set free in Atlanta Airport. It won’t be until fall but who knows what the world looks like then. Anyone have any idea how much it costs to fly private? I actually have a client that rents corporate jets. Maybe if I ask for a quote he’d throw in a favor. Things I never thought I’d have to worry about!
Anonymous says
How far is it? Is driving an option?
Anon says
2600 miles. Something I considered with renting an RV so we could stay out of hotels and rest stop bathrooms. I haven’t checked into the price of that either.
Realist says
RV could make a lot of sense. Maybe you could find one to borrow if you reach out to your network? But plan very carefully. A lot of places that would normally host RVs are closed right now. You might find good info by joining an RV group on Facebook or a similar forum, they are probably sharing which sites are open.
SC says
I’ve also heard that many places are closing to RVs, and there seems to be a general hostility towards them right now, as if everyone who dares to use an RV is just on vacation/ making a nonessential trip.
AnonLaywer says
Apparently the airlines are flying mostly empty planes right now. It might actually be the safest option. (Unless you can get a private plane of course!)
Anon says
This. I will get flamed for this, but my mom flew a couple weeks ago due to a family emergency. There were 3 passengers on the plane one way and she was the only one on the way back. These are routes that normally fly very full. They have cancelled things like in-flight beverage service and she had no problem keeping 10+ feet away from everyone else. Planes have air filtration systems that block the virus (unlike cruise ships, fwiw). I believe planes are actually relatively safe right now. What isn’t safe is being packed into a plane sardine-style like you normally are, but the decreased passenger volume has removed that risk.
Doodles says
I’m the opposite but I’m also at 31 weeks. All this time of nesting/quarantine has given me too much time to shop online and get the room organized. I even packed my hospital bag already. This is a second child of the same gender with a less than 2 year age gap so under normal circumstances I probably wouldn’t spend this much time and money on preparing. I was way less prepared the first time but was also moving into a new house. I also did less general shopping with the first because I knew I’d have a baby shower. So I researched and registered for basically everything and then ordered what was left after the shower. Now there’s nothing stopping me from shopping those online sales (excuse being, that this kid shouldn’t have ALL handmedowns…haha).
Pogo says
I’m pregnant with our second, and I’ve also had to really restrict myself from over-buying online. One, I know what I am buying is non-essential (for now) so don’t want to clog the already burdened supply chain. Two, I have no idea the long-term financial impacts for our family. Right now it’s minor and we can weather it, but I know my total comp will be down over 10% for the year. It could still get worse if the markets don’t turn. We have a couple other house projects in process that we’ll need to finish out, so cute things for baby will take a backseat. I’m very lucky that most of what I need I have from our first baby.
AnonATL says
I’m in the same position regarding our household income. I’m at 50% pay now and who knows how long that is going to last. Luckily my husband is still at fulltime with promises of no layoffs, but you never know. I look at that $80 diaper pail I want and think about how that’s groceries for a week for a glorified garbage can. After we bought out stroller and carseat, I instituted a baby spending freeze at least for the rest of the month.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Not related to the OP question but if you’re looking at the Ubbi – get it! It is worth it. Our first went strong for nearly 4 years with 2 kids and we just got our second, to last for the next 1.5 years or so. It is more than just a trash can.
Pogo says
The good news is the “must have” items for baby is really not that many, especially in the first few months. It’s the warm fuzzy feeling of buying something for this tiny little kiddo kicking inside that I am missing! I’ve also been so spoiled by our relative wealth and lack of serious budgeting…. not something I’ve had to consider in years, but the uncertainly right now is forcing me to discipline.
AnonATL says
For sure we are way more fortunate than others that even with 70% of our usual household income we are still coming out in the green every month without having to tap into our emergency fund. I think it’s more of a panicked visceral reaction of reduced income. It makes me really consider everything I want to purchase for baby.
And yes it is the Ubbi! I was team diaper genie for a bit, but saw some of you raving on here about it so I think we are going with that instead, especially since it takes regular garbage bags.
I’m trying to avoid overburdening the supply chain too as mentioned above. Hoping it will be better in a couple months, and I can go ahead and order all those last minute things we are missing.. mostly diapers and formula which current moms actually need.
avocado says
Up until now, I’ve been doing even more planning and shopping than usual. I started making lists and plans in January, when it became evident that the virus was going to arrive in the U.S. at some point. I spent several Saturdays in February and early March doing massive Target and grocery runs to get us from our usual state of zero stockpile (because we have no pantry or mudroom and virtually no closets) to 8 weeks’ worth of household goods and nonperishables. In mid-March I made several more massive grocery trips for frozen food and perishables. After lockdown began, I spent a ton of time shopping on line for things that I hadn’t realized we would need and things that I worried would go out of stock and be unavailable for several months to a year, from printer paper to pajama pants to a desk and computer accessories. Until recently, I was also making one grocery run every week, which involved a lot of planning and updating of inventory lists, a couple hours of actual shopping, and a couple more hours of disinfecting and putting away purchases. Unpacking and organizing on-line purchases, along with prepping returns of items that didn’t work out, was also time-consuming.
As long as our luck holds and the power stays on, I don’t plan to grocery shop again for around six weeks. I have a master grocery inventory and menu list posted on the fridge, so all I need to do on a weekly basis is choose meals and update the inventory.
avocado says
Oops, sorry, missed the part about first-time moms. I was just thinking regular menu planning and shopping!
AnonATL says
I’m about 25 weeks, and I’ve experienced both sides of this. I haven’t been overbuying on cute clothes because I was in the baby section while hormonal at Target on a random Saturday. I’m also at the point where reality has majorly set in that I might be missing some important gear when baby arrives though. We will have the basics: clothes, safe place to sleep for a couple months, diapers (of some sort), a car seat/stroller.
We might not have his gorgeous PB nursery furniture that was ordered in late February for June delivery. His nursery won’t be fully decorated to what I envisioned,because I can’t wander around decor stores. We might not have a good stock of baby wipes and diapers. I wasn’t planning to have a shower because that’s not my style, but with friends and families on reduced income, a lot of my registry will go un-purchased. I won’t get to wear my cute maternity outfits out to date night with my husband. We had to cancel our little anniversary trip/babymoon.
All the stuff we are missing out on is not a big deal at all in the grand scheme of things, and I do appreciate the forced simplification of life. It’s just not what I imagined for my pregnancy either. I mean if I have a second kid, my pregnancy could not possibly be under worse circumstances, right???
Anon says
it sounds like you have a good attitude! it is totally OK to feel disappointed! if it makes you feel any better about the nursery, we had twins and started out in a one bedroom apartment with their mini pack and plays in the living room. so they most certainly did not have their own lovely instagram worthy nursery. we finally moved into a two bedroom when they were 4 months old and probably took us another few months to get their furniture. it sounds to me like you have all of the important gear for when the baby arrives! car seat + safe place to sleep + clothes + diapers/wipes + bottles/breast pump is all you really need (perhaps some burp cloths and diaper cream as well). maybe eventually a bouncer and an activity mat. regarding your registry – i am sure many family and friends will still want to buy you something. perhaps they will no longer be able to purchase something as large or expensive, so add some less expensive items (clothes, books, toys, consumables) to your registry – you can always return whatever you don’t want/need and use the credit to purchase bigger items you feel like you do need. i’m sorry to hear about your baby moon – someone on the main page posted about planning a ‘trip to paris’ from home, maybe you could do that and still wear your cute outfits? my heart really goes out to anyone who is pregnant right now
Anon FTM says
I’m a first-time mom but I feel like my lack of shopping/planning is because I’m depressed, if I can be totally honest. So it’s not a silver lining for me – it’s a sign of my fear/concern about the future (both economically and heallth-wise). I’m almost 30 weeks and I have completely lost the enjoyment I used to feel about getting ready for the baby’s arrival – I’ve really had to force myself to do things like order some newborn clothes, get crib sheets ordered, etc. If I hadn’t taken care of ordering a stroller/carseat, bassinet, and crib before all this started I would honestly really be struggling to even do those things. And looking at even (allegedly) minimalist checklists of things you need to bring a baby home just makes me feel completely overwhelmed.
I’m old for a FTM – I’ll turn 40 shortly after the baby is born – and while I wasn’t someone who really had a lot of fantasies about becoming a mom, I am hurting a bit over how much this frightening, stressful reality differs from what I had imagined. Like, I really don’t enjoy baby showers…but I’m sad that mine won’t happen. I’m REALLY sad that I haven’t seen my brother and his wife in 6 weeks, and that I can’t really spend time with my parents who’ve also waited so long to become grandparents. I was looking forward to making friends with other pregnant women at prenatal yoga and a women’s running group, but those were cancelled just as I was starting them. So was my church’s new moms group. Some of these things exist virtually now but it’s really not the same in terms of building a community.
I’m sad and lonely and scared, and I spend a lot of time trying to keep it together bc I know if I lose it, it’ll be harder for my family/husband – and because my job is incredibly stressful right now due to the pandemic and I have to be “on” all day.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Hi Anon (and anyone in this situation), first off, I’m so sorry and this sounds (justifiably) extremely stressful. I won’t say I can relate to the exact situation but I can relate to feeling like I couldn’t really enjoy my first pregnancy/first few months due to external circumstances. In my case, I was on the verge of and then lost my job while out on leave and then had to deal with finding a new job while taking care of a newborn. Stressful. For me, I started seeing a therapist again a few months after the baby was born and I started work again, and also joined a couple of moms groups in the interim. I’m also someone who tries to keep it together, but letting out all of those fears and talking to others (which I know is harder now) was really helpful. As was medication (FWIW, I took it while pregnant with my second without any concern by my doctors). So if you are able to find a virtual therapist now, I’d highly recommend it.
lsw says
Our 3.5 year old got a bloody nose yesterday roughhousing with his sister. It stopped fairly quickly and looks fine today. I pushed gently all along his nose and his upper lip and he says it doesn’t hurt. I assume I don’t really have to do anything else? It was just scary at the moment with blood everywhere.
Anonymous says
You’re good.
So Anon says
Bloody noses create a lot of blood! My son gets them regularly when the air is dry. In my experience, they aren’t a big deal.
lsw says
OK, thanks! I also got them a ton as a kid. Often while I was sleeping, which was disgusting!
Anonymous says
Oh yeh you’re fine. A broken nose would get really swollen and he would prob have a black eye and complain of pain. My daughter got her one and only bloody nose ever completely randomly while her 2 week old baby brother was screaming to be fed. Wasn’t stressful for me at all trying to feed a baby and keep her from getting blood all over the house…
Anon says
Even if it were broken there’s nothing to do. I broke my nose in 4th grade (I get hit in the face with a tennis racket). The doctor said “Yeah it’s broken, there’s nothing to do. You can have cosmetic surgery when you’re older.” (I didn’t, and still have a visible dent in my nose.)
Redux says
This is probably just personal preference, but do you dress your toddler boy in briefs or boxer briefs? Why? My kiddo is 3.5 and needs a new set of underpants and as I cruise A*zon it’s got me wondering… My mom bought his current set (briefs) but I’m leaving toward boxer briefs this time around since part of the reason he’s outgrowing these is the elastic around the leg holes is too tight.
Anonymous says
I just got my 4.5 YO boxer briefs and he won’t wear them. Or rather, he tries to wear them as shorts (with other underwear underneath). No amount of telling him they are underwear will convince him! So no more briefs for us!
Clementine says
We do briefs generally – have tried boxer briefs but he seems to prefer the briefs.
I think part of it is just how your kid is built. My kid is lanky and the elastic around the legs doesn’t bother him. My BFF’s kid has bulkier thighs and was running into an issue it sounds like you did where the waist still fit but the leg holes were too tight.
anon says
I bought a pack of each, and my boys definitely prefer briefs. I keep asking them (oldest is 11.5) because boxer briefs seem “cooler” (to me), but they are briefs all the way. They are both skinny, if that is useful.
mascot says
Boxer briefs. Gap/H&M have cotton versions that aren’t very long. Once he got older and started sports, then we moved to more quick-dry type fabrics. My kid is pretty slender and they seem to fit fine. I started buying them whenever he got big enough for the smallest size and he’s not asked for anything different yet.
Anonymous says
We love the H&M boxer briefs! They’re basically briefs with a tiny bit longer leg. The first set lasted 2+ years, ages 2.9 to over 5, and are in good enough condition to hand down. We let kid select and he wanted ones more like his dad’s.
Runner says
Best noise-cancelling headphones? Those bose ones are expensive but the blissful peace of real silence is beckoning me.
Anonymous says
Bose are so worth it. If you can find the older wired model, they should be cheaper.
Clementine says
I have only heard good things about Bose, but I got my husband a pair of AKG N60NC Wireless headphones and he’s a big fan.
Anon says
I love my Beats Studio Pro. There was AN EXPLOSION in my town and I didn’t hear it with the headphones on. That said, it won’t drown out someone right nearby talking.
RR says
Bose are the only ones I have experience with, but they have been worth every penny. I’ve had them for at least 6-7 years (older wired, over ears pair), and they are still going strong. I use them on trips, and they’ve been my go-to home headphones for the entire quarantine–all calls, music, etc. They are on my ears constantly, and they very rarely bother me at all (even the most comfy headphones are on my last nerve by the end of a work week).
CCLA says
After using Bose for years, we switched to Sony. DH is a tech nerd and after lots of research selected whatever the top line Sony around-ear version is. That said, my old Bose were great as well and the only material difference I notice is that I like the option to go bluetooth or corded (corded is great for instance if you want to use a splitter to share an ipad for a movie on a flight), but I would bet the newer Bose ones have that option too.
Anonymous says
My parents are in Florida for the winter, starting to grate on me because they are not taking the pandemic or social distancing measures seriously at all. My very liberal father loved how slow the Florida governor was to shut down the state, and rails about how he’s not changing his lifestyle at all (despite being close to 70 and a heavy smoker, the exact most at risk demographic). My mom clucks at him and pretends that she takes it seriously (probably because I do, and she’s a pleaser), but in the same breath that she disapproves of their neighbors for making fun of the idea of social distancing she tells me they ate at Waffle House (when they still could). I was face timing with them every day because it kept my kids busy, but I’ve stopped because I was so irritated by our last conversation, and I can tell it made my mom sad that they haven’t heard from us. I guess I don’t really have a question about my situation, I need to just get over it, but how is every one else dealing with the rest extended family taking it seriously, or not?
Realist says
I cut out a family member that said they would vote for the White House occupant. I can’t control anything but myself and there are some things I don’t need in my life.
SC says
My parents are finally taking it seriously, but it took them a while to get there. While they weren’t taking it seriously, I was worried about them but recognized that I can’t control them.
Right now, I’m absolutely furious at my FIL. Around mid March, when people were starting to stay home and schools were closing but there wasn’t a stay-at-home order yet, he suggested that DH take Kiddo to go visit DH’s aunt (FIL’s sister). DH’s aunt is in another state, about an 8-hour drive away. DH’s aunt also has a chronic disease, one that gives her multiple comorbidities and puts her at a much greater risk from covid-19. So, when FIL suggested this, I pushed back pretty hard, twice. Since then, we’ve been subjected to a stay-at-home order, and our area has become a hotspot. But for some reason, FIL told his sister that we were considering visiting! Neither of us ever said that! That got her hopes up, and she started texting DH last night asking us to visit. She’s depressed and isolated and needs help. It put us in an awkward position of having to say “no” to something she was hoping for.
FIL is a doctor. He has been quarantined at home for 3-4 weeks, having everything delivered rather than going to the grocery store or picking up takeout. We did a 10-feet-away, 15-minute visit yesterday with him and MIL yesterday, which was the first time we’d MIL in over a month and the first time we’d seen FIL in 3 weeks. If he can’t be within 10 feet of us (which I agree with, and know that even that one visit wasn’t ideal), how on earth does he think a road trip to another state to spend a week or two with our most high-risk family members is safe?
Anon says
I think they’re adults who get to make their own decisions. All you can do is express your concern and then let it go, and of course you can enforce boundaries with respect to them visiting your family and putting you and your children at risk, if you’re worried about that. My parents aren’t breaking any rules but they’re doing things I wish they wouldn’t for their own sake (getting takeout every day, going to the store during regular hours, etc). But ultimately they’re adults and I know I don’t get to police their decisions.
RR says
My parents came home early from Florida wintering, so they’ve been home for a couple weeks. I’m very, very lucky that they are taking it seriously. My father is still golfing, but it could be a lot worse. I’m surprised they weren’t arguing about it being a hoax.
It’s so hard with parents, but I think the old advice to focus on what you can control is apt here. You can control your behavior–not theirs. All you can do is express your concerns.
anonn says
Our toddler is still in daycare. We are in a Midwest city that implemented social distancing measures relatively early, before we even had confirmed community spread. We’re both WFH. We decided to keep sending her for the structure and social interaction because she’s an only child, and also because her teachers want to keep getting hours. We do not see anyone else or go anywhere and haven’t for 3+ weeks. From talking to coworkers and friends, a lot of people are still sending their kids to daycare in my city, even if both parents are working from home. That’s basically what my daycare director told me too. Some kids have parents on front lines, but most are wfh. Attendance has been maybe 30% of normal for the last 3 weeks though
Anonymous says
My toddler wears prescription glasses, and I think she really needs prescription sunglasses- any suggestions? Her eye dr is not answering phones or messages at the moment, and since it’s not an emergency I’m trying not to be too annoyed about it.
Anon4This says
Question just to see what’s out there what have people put on hold, delayed, and/or slowed down on given the pandemic? For us it’s a hold on discussing trying for baby #2 and buying a home. Again, grateful to have health, jobs, and safe loved ones so far, but often times the selfish bug bites me.
Anon says
Travel, obviously. We normally take 8-10 plane trips/year to see family and take vacations and will probably take none this year (and maybe next). The vacation destinations will still be there in a few years but the grandparents may not be, at least not as healthy and active as they currently are, so I try not to think too much about that.
I was also interviewing for new (internal) jobs before this, and that’s on hold indefinitely thanks to a hiring freeze at my employer.
anne-on says
We’ve put our much longed for kitchen/mudroom/living room renovation on hold. Our house was BADLY updated in the 90’s and we’ve been slowly fixing it/updating over the years we’ve had it. The kitchen is just SO badly laid out (they absolutely walked into home depot, pointed at a kitchen layout and bough everything there with no thought to function) and we’re bursting at the seams in the mudroom. It is SUCH a first world problem but it does make me sad that it won’t happen for a few years now. I’m trying to purge/organize/etc. but there are problems that only taking down walls will fix.
Anon says
I had a long-awaited medical procedure canceled, which I was hoping to get done before TTC #3…our new timeline for both is mid-summer.
Anonanonanon says
I had posted here about going to law school in the evenings. The March administration of the LSAT got delayed and will now be a virtual May administration, meaning I’m going to miss most application deadlines. My job is very much COVID-related and since there will probably be a spike in the fall again I can’t realistically go to school part-time and work this job next year. I love what I do and was actually interested in pursuing policy related to public health emergencies (should we have the legal capability to do a wuhan-style lockdown? ethically? legally? so much to consider) which sounded insane in my initial essays and now sounds too obvious. Oh well. I was really excited for it, had the support of my family and was in a financial place to make it happen and do this completely selfish thing for myself to pursue something I’m passionate about, but it is what it is.
Anon says
We were about to start hiring someone to come in a couple of hours a week to help with laundry, cleaning, etc. – definitely put a hold on that. We were also going to start doing a monthly date night, with a babysitter and everything, and that’s on hold too. Also planning an end of summer beach vacation (I had just started looking 2 weeks before our stay at home order). This year was otherwise already mostly a holding pattern after some significant expenses last year, so things like redoing the patio, buying me a new car, home generator are all on the next 2-5 year list.
The one thing we are not holding back on is trying for #2. It took us 9 months of trying before our miscarriage in the fall, and I wasn’t really regular again until January, so no time to waste is our view (not that it’s easy with a toddler who has adopted the same sleep schedule as the adults and who also bed shares most nights – it’s like she knows we’re trying to upend her only-child life).
GCA says
Ha, my first also got into our bed most nights once he was in a toddler bed in our room. We used to call it the sibling prevention routine.
Anon for this says
IUD insertion! But now my mom is living with us ( lost her income and lived alone), so that’s its own birth control…
Anon says
Hahaha
Anonymous says
Same here
Anonymous says
I had planned out a really fun run schedule this year culminating in my first half-marathon in the fall. I am not doing any organized events this year, even if I could complete it. I am hoping to do it next year (or the following…).
Anon says
I got a significant pay cut due to the pandemic, and we are lowering the amount of our student loan payments for now.
KatieWolf says
We were supposed to move for a promotion for DH! I was excited for the change and the new city, plus the pay bump for DH, but everything is put on hold. He didn’t have a formal offer before pandemic happened, so now everything is on hold for who knows how long, maybe forever! Disappointed with that, and I’m unsure if it will end up happening. Que sera sera, I guess.