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Updated: May 2, 2024 149 Comments · by

Nursing/Postpartum Tuesday: Travel Bottle and Food Warmer

Nursing· Recent Recs

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Tommee Tippee Closer To Nature Travel Bottle & Food Warmer Bottle warmer

Unfortunately, my son only wanted warm bottles and would only drink the full amount in the bottle if it was warmed up. This posed a problem when out and about for the day. I spent so much time researching travel bottle warmers, and this is the best one that worked for us.

Basically, it’s a big plastic cup that screws onto a thermos. We would either boil water or use very hot water from the tap, and fill the thermos part before leaving for the day. Then when the baby is hungry, unscrew the plastic cup part, pour the hot water from the thermos into it, and float the bottle of formula in it until heated.

I am sure you can create your own version of this, but I just decided to throw money at the problem and buy it as it is. You could also reuse the water for a second round because the thermos keeps it very hot. I liked this warmer a lot but still pray that if there is a next time, that baby will drink a room temperature bottle! The bottle warmer is $11.49 at Amazon, where it has hundreds of positive reviews. Tommee Tippee Travel Bottle and Food Warmer

Psst: Looking for more info about nursing clothes for working moms, or tips for pumping at the office? We’ve got them both…

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About April

April is a working mom, a longtime reader of CorporetteMoms, and wrote our morning fashion advice for working moms from April 2018 to October 2020. She has one child (born 2/17!) and she’s a public interest lawyer in NYC.

Comments

  1. Lana Del Raygun says

    This looks like a perfect application of the “Don’t waste your time jerry-rigging something when there’s a convenient commercial version for under $15” principle and I will totally buy one if my baby wants his/her bottle warmed up. :)

    • EB0220 says

      Also a good example of the “you never know what your baby will want” principle. :) I had one of these and didn’t use it once. My kid didn’t care…

  2. Anonymous says

    This would be really nice for BF partners, too. I always felt kind of bad in the early days when my husband’s outings with baby were limited or stressful to make sure they could get to me or home to the bottle warmer. Kiddo had to have her bottles heated up pretty high to take them.

    • Jen says

      I’d recommend for anyone reading this that you experiment with room temp pumped milk in a bottle early on to prevent exactly this. We did it by accident but everyone thought I was a genius.

      • lawsuited says

        +1 We fed LO room temp milk or milk straight from the refrigerator because we were always a harried mess without time to heat up the bottle so that’s what he got used to and it was invaluable.

      • Jen says

        And/or parenting hack: warm the bottle (of any kind) in a bathroom sink by running it under hot water and plugging the sink with paper towels. Not that I know first hand or anything.

        • Meg Murry says

          And another hack – the Medela bottles that come with your pump are much thinner and warm much faster than most of the thicker bottles most people use for baby to drink from. Milk warms WAY faster in either a Medela bottle or a storage bag, and then the warm milk can be poured into the drinking bottle.

          • Anon says

            Taking that hack one step further, the Medela bottles are also small (so easy to pack and transport) and work perfectly with Evenflo nipples and collars (which are much cheaper than the Medela collars)!

          • lawsuited says

            I definitely defrosted frozen milk by jamming the milk storage bag in my armpit more than once.

      • GCA says

        ha! I no longer remember what we did with bottles when out and about – I hated pumping more than I felt I needed solo mom breaks – but I think kiddo was fine with bottles warmed up just enough to mix the fat back in evenly. as for cow’s milk, we started introducing ‘fridge milk’ the spring that kiddo turned 1, and it was still chilly, so he would get a little cup of slightly warmed milk, sometimes with a tiny bit of cinnamon added to make it special.

        • Anonymous says

          “I hated pumping more than I felt I needed solo mom breaks” haa yes this! Plus you can go out for about 2-3 hours without the baby needing to feed? Maybe I’m just a homebody but I never needed/wanted to be away from her for more than that amount of time (until I went back to work of course).

      • Betty says

        It can totally depend on the kid. We never warmed bottles with our first, and he was totally fine with whatever. Our daughter, however, would only take a bottle when it was her precise desired temperature, being held in precisely the way she preferred and other specific criteria known only to her. She would hold out for hours if the above criteria were not met to her satisfaction. Our oldest went through a crazy picky phase as a toddler, while his younger sister would chow down on anything as a toddler. The oldest is now 7 and ate quinoa salad with grilled chicken, avocado, pomegranate and honey-vinaigrette dressing on Sunday night while his younger sister boycotted dinner and ate only strawberries. I’ve learned to just go with it.

    • avocado says

      Our pediatrician told us we HAD to warm the bottles. We did that for the first month or so while I was exclusively pumping because baby hated nursing. Then baby changed her mind and decided she would accept no bottles, only nursing. When we put her on the sippy cup at 4 months for day care, day care warmed the cups but I just mixed formula at room temperature and it was fine.

      We eventually got rid of that pediatrician, but not soon enough.

      • Anonymous says

        What!? Your doctor said it was medically necessary to warm bottles? that’s cray!

        • avocado says

          She was nuts. She also told me that it would damage the baby’s brain if I set her down crying for long enough to use the bathroom, that I didn’t need to take a shower, and that “it’s okay if you spend the whole day in your nightgown” because baby wanted to be held all the time. I am pretty sure her ridiculous edicts contributed to my decision to cut my maternity leave short.

          • Redux says

            Ugh, that is terrible. Was she any sort of “alternative” provider (i.e., billed as an attachment parenting doc) or something that would explain this wild advice?

          • Anonymous says

            OMG!!!! There is some evidence that crying for hours without attention can damage a baby’s brain but that’s HOURS not for five minutes to go to the bathroom! Has she seen the purple crying video they make you watch before you get discharged from the hospital? Because that video says if you’re getting frustrated with the baby’s cries it’s fine to put them in a safe place and walk away…
            She must be related to my friend’s crazy OBGYN who told her that zero pounds was the recommended pregnancy weight gain (he would have been horrified if he ever met my OB, who diagnosed me as “low maternal weight gain” and sent me for a growth scan when because I had only gained 16 pounds) and that she couldn’t eat meat, fish or produce unless it was organic (or wild I guess, in the case of fish).

          • avocado says

            Not billed as such, but a lot of the things she said were straight out of Dr. Sears. She also appeared to be nearing retirement age, and my experience with female doctors of that generation is that they tend to be unsympathetic jerks, perhaps because that’s what it took to get through med school and residency as a woman and a mother at that time.

    • AwayEmily says

      I definitely agree with the “try unwarmed milk at first to see if they will tolerate it” but am a bit resistant to the idea that that approach always results in your kid just getting used it it and learning to tolerate it. With my first that absolutely worked — she would drink bottles at pretty much any temperature.

      Then we tried it with my second and he SCREAMED and refused the bottle completely until it was very warm. Repeated this for a days until finally we threw in the towel.

      So, yes, I think it’s worth a try to give your kid unwarmed milk but it won’t work for everyone.

  3. Jen says

    Shoutout/love letter to my pediatrician. It’s across town and I always complain that they (really my doctor, not the group as a whole) run late and are a 20 minute drive when we have a ped right around the corner. Just as I am ready to pull the trigger on switching they throw a hail mary for me :)

    I was in yesterday with one of my kids and was told her rash wasn’t’ contagious and as long as she stays fever free for 24 hrs she’s good to return to daycare (I’d kept her home out of precaution yesterday). Well, I realized on my way out the door this AM that daycare was going to need a note if she showed up in a head to toe rash. My ped opens at 8. At 8:05 a nurse was typing my note and by 8:20 [maybe earlier- I didn’t check as I was driving!)] it was approved by the doc and in my patient portal, where I was able to download and email the letter to daycare while sitting in the parking lot.

    • Anonymous says

      Yay! I had a similar experience with my OB when I forgot to get my return-to-work letter at my 6 week appt. I was so grateful that I could just call them up and they mailed me the letter.

    • KateMiddletown says

      And shoutout to whatever technology made that happen during your commute!

      • Jen says

        I actually work in healthcare tech so I know the answer- it’s Epic’s MyChart patient portal. Lots of practices use it, so you might want to see if yours does! often depends on how your practice has it set up, but I have a techno-friendly practice. They also sent me a text and robocall telling me I had a letter waiting in my inbox.

        • Anonymous says

          My Dr uses this and it is a lfesaver for all of those damn forms you need signed for daycare, school, etc.

    • CBG says

      Say what?! All doctors around here swear that notes and forms may only be faxed, like they will tell you its a law. most. insane.thing.ever. love our doc, but if this is an option, I would switch.

      • Anonymous says

        But can’t they fax it to the daycare which is actually more convenient because you don’t have to be a middle person?

  4. Lyssa says

    We found that the best way to deal with warming bottles on the go was to just measure out some very hot water into a bottle or two before we left and put them in one of those insulated holders (the one in the diaper bag worked fine). By the time we needed it, it was cooler but still warm enough, so we just mixed the powdered formula (which we kept in a pre-measured container) right into it then. Super-simple.

    • anon says

      Glad it worked for you, were you concerned that the warm but not boiling water could foster bacteria–because that is an obsessive worry my mom harps upon?

      • Anonymous says

        wow, no. I never ever worried about that. Sounds like an overabundance of caution….. caution I do not have time for.

      • Lyssa says

        I figured since it was just clean water, there wasn’t much for it to grow on, so it was probably fine. I’ve never considered the idea that water could “go bad,” though I’m sure it’s possible.

        But I also microwaved bottles with reckless abandon, so I like to parent dangerously.

      • JuniorMinion says

        I only know because my husband and I had a fight about the state of my gym waterbottle – but you have to leave water in a bottle uncleaned for days / weeks once its been open / drunk out of / bacteria from someone’s mouth or other source has been introduced to have enough bacteria growth to cause a problem.

        You would also probably smell it. Like with my gym waterbottle.

    • farrleybear says

      We did something similar–put hot water into a small thermos, and put powdered formula pre-measured in the baby bottle. Poured the water in the bottle and shook up when needed. The water stayed warm and we never had a health issue:)

  5. Meg Murry says

    I was lucky enough that my kids were ok with any temperature room temperature or warmer – the only thing they refused was straight up refrigerator cold bottles. However, my oldest never was able to nurse, so we always had to prepare formula or warm a pumped bottle when we were out and about. If you don’t have this device, or forgot it, I found that just about any restaurant was willing to provide us with a mug or pitcher of hot water (like they would provide for tea) plus an empty mug, and we were able to warm up milk that way.

    On the quirky side though – this meant that my kids refused cold cow’s milk when we offered it. They finally learned to tolerate “nice cold milk” as the daycare teachers called it at lunch – but they would only take that first morning bottle or sippy cup of milk warmed up, never cold. Even now at 11, my older son would rather drink his milk warm (preferably in the form of hot chocolate) if given the option.

    • Anonymous says

      Temperature was a bigger issue for us to overcome in switching to cow’s milk than anything.

      I’m not sure what I required as a baby. The smell of warm milk is very off-putting to me and has been for as long as I can remember. Yet, I prefer my milk in a very hot mocha. Go figure ;)

  6. Baby teeth says

    My baby’s bottom teeth are coming in so we have to be more diligent about brushing her teeth in the morning and at night. Two questions…

    What toothpaste do you use? Just any non-flouride version?

    She often nurses to sleep. Is it okay to brush before or should I be waking her up?

    • Anonymous says

      You might want to ask any/your pediatric dentist. I’ve had 3 different ped dentists all with differing advice (flouride OK but just a smear, flouride not OK, no dental visits until 3, no dental visits until 2, no dental visits until 2 or all teeth are in whichever is first).

      With ODD we did kids’ crest (no flouride). With YDD we did a smear of flouride. My kids are 5 and 2 now and insist on “minty” or “spicy” aka grown up flavor toothpaste vs any of the kid flavors– until about 6 months ago they wanted only Crest bubble gum flavor.

    • ElisaR says

      Ideally you would brush with non-flouride paste (we use the one with Elmo on it for my 2 year old because…..Elmo).

      Honestly, I pretty much never brushed his teeth when he was an infant because he nursed to sleep….that milk is sweet and supposedly what you need to brush off. I wasn’t willing to wake him for brushing his teeth so brushing didn’t happen consistently until he was 12 months old. Not a big deal.

      • Anonymous says

        We brushed before the bedtime routine, so yes the milk would be on her teeth, but she was getting everything else off. Seemed better than nothing. Our dentist is awesome about being pro-nursing so has a very “go with the flow” attitude.

      • Anon in NYC says

        Yes, our dentist has recommended non-flouride at this point (daughter is 3. And we use the Elmo one too!). But I’ve also heard to just brush with water at that age too. So I would either use non-flouride toothpaste or water.

    • Anonymous says

      We were advised to just use water with fluoride (tap water for us) until about 2. At that point our dentist had us start using a tiny bit of kids toothpaste. He said it should be the size of a grain of rice. We actually do about half that on two toothbrushes – kiddo “brushes” with hers first, and then we brush for her. (Which, BTW, I totally recommend. It makes brushing teeth much less of a battle if I don’t have to steal “her” toothbrush.) We were advised that until she can really spit it out, we should keep it as minimal as possible.

    • Anon says

      Our town parenting group was just talking about this and concluded that the advice is all over the place. From a combination of adult dentists, pediatric dentists, and pediatricians, we’ve been told:
      -Take kids to dentist at: 12 months, 2 years, 3 years, whenever they have half their teet
      -Brush with: only fluoride toothpaste, only non-fluoride toothpaste, it doesn’t matter as long as you brush daily

      Generally I think the advice usually agrees that before 12 months it’s okay to not wake them up to brush after nursing, but after a year you should generally try to brush before bed and not give them milk after that.

    • AIMS says

      Our doctor said to just go to the dentist sometime between 2 and 3 and that you technically should not be nursing/giving bottle to sleep after 1 but life is what it is so not to stress. Also, if you only do one, night is more important than morning.

      One thing that I think hasn’t been mentioned is that aside from the benefits of brushing itself, what you’re doing is setting up a healthy habit that you kid will need to follow later, so that’s what we focus on. The best advice we got was from my regular dentist who said to just make brushing fun – so fun toothbrush, a song, etc. He also you shouldn’t focus on “making teeth clean” but to focus on “making your teeth shiny” – which has really been a big hit in our house. I literally can’t brush my teeth in front of my daughter if I’m running late because she always wants to brush hers immediately.

    • Anon says

      We do kids crest, with flouride, rice grain amount at night before nursing (because we nurse to sleep) with a kids toothbrush. I do the brushing, and she tolerates well. Helps I think that Llama Llama Nighty Night talks about brushing before bed (one line, anyhow) and we always pretend brush when read that. Her pediatric dentist who did her lip/tongue ties expects to see her at the earlier of 1 year and 6 months after the eruption of her first tooth (which considering we have 8 teeth at 10 months, makes total sense to me).

  7. anon says

    What is your favorite sunscreen for yourself? I am thinking about splurging on La Roche Posay or the Korean one that was mentioned here. I only really need it for my morning drive and then for afternoons at the park.

    • AwayEmily says

      I loooove the LRP. Goes on really well and totally worth it. And you can use FSA dollars for sunscreen!

      • Anonymous says

        Biore Watery Rich. I get it from Amazon and it takes a month to ship but I never break out, it’s SPF 50, and my makeup goes on really smoothly over it, like it’s a primer. That means I never forget to put it on, which was my main problem with previous sunscreens.

        • GCA says

          +1 to the Biore stuff (I think the full name is Biore UV Aqua Rich Watery Essence – there’s also a ‘Watery Gel’ that’s a bit thicker and more viscous). I know people on SkincareAddiction say the 2015 formulation (light blue tube) is vastly superior to the 2017 one (darker blue tube), but I’ve never had any issue with either.

        • Frozen Peach says

          I tried this at the recommendation of the Hive, and I’m OBSESSED now. Mix it with my tinted moisturizer every day.

    • Anon in NYC says

      EltaMD UV Clear 46 for my face. It doesn’t make my skin feel greasy at all.

      On a related point – favorite body sunscreen? I use Blue Lizard when I’m at the beach, but it’s just too heavy for trips to the playground.

    • In House Lobbyist says

      I bought a Korean “skin milk” sunscreen on Amazon. I love it and it even held up for a few hours at the beach when I forgot to put on my zinc. I love that it feels like lotion and not sunscreen.

  8. ElisaR says

    Kat – one other glitch on the commenting page. Besides the fact that my name no longer populates, 3 days now I have gotten an error message saying that I’m commenting too fast. That’s fine except it was the first comment I made all day! How could it be too fast??

    • HSAL says

      It’s an annoying feature that doesn’t mean you’re specifically posting too fast, just that too many comments from everyone are being posted at once. I usually just use the back button and it’ll post the second time I try.

      • Anon2 says

        I find it happens when I zip right from typing my comment to my name to hitting post. If I pause a moment between typing and posting, then it’s fine. I also find the wording of the auto message kind of off putting, like it’s yelling at me.

  9. College Reunion says

    I’m headed back to my college reunion this weekend! I’m so excited to go back with my kids and spouse and show them all the beautiful, wonderful parts of my school, the town, and talk with some very dear friends that I haven’t seen in years. On the other hand…. as I was starting to pack this weekend, all the feelings of being an insecure 18-21 year old came back. For the first time in years, I thought about being rejected by a sorority, the hyper-competitive environment, and the pressure to look and be a certain way. These feelings and memories are part of the adventure, right?

    • Anonymous says

      It has been nearly 20 years, and I still have zero desire to go to a high school reunion for the same reason. Maybe I would if it wasn’t for Facebook, but that serves the purpose for me. I’ll go to law school reunions (I went a little later in life so have only had one so far and had a conflict. And by conflict I think I mean a nursing baby and zero desire to pump for a weekend.)

    • Anonymous says

      Personally I don’t go to reunions because of the sort of anxiety/insecurity your’e describing. I keep up with my close friends and have no interest in seeing most of the rest of my classmates. There are a few friends-but-not-besties that I suppose I would enjoy seeing at reunions but presumably only a small percentage of them actually attend. I’ve visited my alma mater with my kids/husband at non-reunion times to show them around.

    • Anon says

      Going to mine this weekend too. I still live in the state so I’m not staying in the dorms. I had this moment of “do any of these people even like me?” and “why am I going if I’m already in touch with the people I want to be in touch with.” But then I remembered that people change and it’s been 15 years and it will be good to see what everyone is up to. Selfishly, I’m hoping to use it a bit as a marketing opportunity too and expand my network a bit. I hate awkward small talk so I’m pretty nervous about the whole thing but I know my husband (who graduated in my class) and at least one real life friend will also be there.

    • H13 says

      I think it is great you are going. This same thing happens to me re: college and high school. It is like I slip back in time to all those old insecurities even though I feel quite happy and confident now.

      Let us know how it goes! And probably everyone is feeling the same way.

    • GCA says

      I feel you. The 5th reunion was a bit rough for that reason, but I felt my 10th was much better, because people have matured a lot, some of us have kids and I have that extra thing in common with them, etc. You may be pleasantly surprised!

      Tangentially, the thing I’m most excited about right now is joining the local chapter of my college’s women’s alumni network. I went to a school that…shall we say, might not have been the best experience for young women in terms of health, safety and security, and I feel like the alumnae network is a huge opportunity to get together and say: in this day and age, how do we use our brain trust and leadership to make the experience better for today’s undergrad women?

  10. Anonymous says

    Couple pumping hygiene questions – our dishwasher sucks at drying, so the pump parts are still wet when I pull them out in the morning. Is that ok? I’ve seen a lot of advice about letting them air dry until completely dry but as long as they’re clean I can’t imagine a little water would hurt right? And I feel like I spill milk on my hands free pumping bra every time, but I can’t realistically wash it every day – ok to use it even if it has old milk and comes into contact with pump parts?

    • Anonymous says

      I also think both are totally fine. I mean, your nipples also have contact with dried old milk too, unless you wash your bras daily (I certainly don’t!).

      • Anonymous says

        Yeah that’s what I was thinking. I definitely don’t wash bras daily, but I do wear disposable pads pretty much 24/7 since I’m a leaker and I change those once or twice a day. But of course not everyone does that.

    • Anon says

      Both are totally fine in my book. For really wet days, I bought one of the boon lawns and set them out to finish air drying in my office, mostly because I’m not a fan of wet pump parts on me. Oddly enough, no one has ever asked about that.

    • NewMomAnon says

      Not sure, but I think the “air dry” advice is mostly to keep you from wiping the parts dry with a possibly germ-ridden towel. It’s not so much that the parts need to be bone dry.

    • Anonymous says

      Anonymously admitting that I have never washed my hands-free pumping bra. I have been back at work (and pumping) since November. I did lose one in February (which was probably an awesome surprise for whoever used that conference room in satellite office after me) but have not washed the new one since I bought it.

  11. Anonymous says

    Cross-posting because I feel desperate.

    I think I’m experiencing a bout of stress and anxiety, and I’m not sure what to do about it (short term). My heart is beating fast, I’m having trouble concentrating, I feel on the verge of tears, and I have a general “everything is going wrong” malaise. Are there any helpful recommendations for the short term?

    I have a very stressful situation at work (deadline coming up, it’s not going to end well – nothing I can do to improve it, it just is); we leave for vacation at the end of the week and my spouse and toddler are both sick, I have to leave work early to take my son to the doctor; huge changes from high up at work that are not good, and my boss is leaving; I’m comparing my life to other people’s and feeling like I’ve done everything wrong.

    Normally I feel like I’d take a day off of work and try to do something relaxing but that’s just not possible right now, and I’m escalating by feeling like I *must* be at work and productive, but I can’t be, because I’m sitting here tearing up and feeling overwhelmed. Help! (in the voice of the toddler trying wasabi for the first time)

    • Anon says

      Can you shut yourself somewhere and meditate for 10 minutes? Use the free heart rate app to compare your heart rate before and after. It will almost definitely go down and you can tell yourself your heart is just racing because of stress and not because of a health problem.

      No caffeine right now! Also, try to avoid anything else that can raise your heart rate if you can safely skip it. ADHD meds, certain allergy meds, certain inhalers. If you can, wait until your heart rate gets back to normal before adding in anything else that will raise it.

      Take as many slow deep breaths as you can.

    • avocado says

      Hugs! For meditation, the Headspace app has a free trial. For the overwhelming project, make a to-do list with small, concrete tasks in the order in which they must be completed to get the big project done, then focus on just one task at a time. For the big-picture worries (huge changes, boss leaving, comparing self to others, etc.), can you procrastinate? Tell yourself that you don’t have to figure it out or process it now, and give yourself permission just to let it go until you get back from vacation. I do that sometimes and it’s surprisingly effective.

    • Betty says

      Oh hugs!! First, recognize that you have a ton going on right now that is outside of your control. Big changes at work (and they sound like they’re not for the better), sick kid and spouse (enough to bring anyone to their knees), and upcoming vacation (which is great but may also add to the “I’ve got to end my to-do list!!” feel). The fact that you are still attempting to move forward is amazing. So, I’d start with a bit of grace that you are ok, you are taking care of your family, and probably doing great at work. You are in the middle of the storm, and storms do pass.

      Second, I’d recommend a serious brain dump onto a single sheet of paper. Go through everything you can think of and get it on paper. Then take five minutes and do a triage: what can wait until after you get back from vacation, what needs to be done now, today and tomorrow, and what can you let go or outsource? With today and tomorrow, I’ve found to-do lists helpful. Start with something you can cross off of your to-do list immediately.

      Finally, take care of yourself to the extent that you can. Stay away from social media until this tide has passed.
      If there is anyway you can, get out for a quick walk. Drink water, and all that good advice. And, if the feeling hangs on for a few weeks, a great counselor can help sort things through. Hang in there!!

      • anon says

        +1 Lists and brain dumps often help me feel like I’ve regained some control. It’s not perfect, but it does help to write it down.

    • Meg Murry says

      In addition to the other good advice you’ve gotten – for the part about feeling on the edge of tears – let it out. Tonight after you put the kids to bed watch a sad movie or read a tearjerker book and go ahead and let yourself sob. For instance, the opening scene to “Up”, just about any Nicholas Sparks movie or book, any book or movie where a pet dies, etc. For me, a good cry in private makes me less likely to burst into tears at work when I’m in that “I’m so stressed I just can’t help the tears leaking down my cheeks” mode.

      Also, there is a good chance that if your spouse and kid are both sick, you may be coming down with it too. Try to take care of yourself – go to sleep as early as possible, take your vitamins, eat your fruits and veggies, get some chicken soup – whatever makes you feel better when you start to feel sick. Ask your kid’s doctor today whether there is anything you can do to make the illness less severe/shorter if you get it as well – for instance, if it’s the flu you may be able to get Tamiflu either now or as soon as you come down with a fever.

    • Anonymous says

      I find meditation really difficult when I’m in the midst of a very acute anxiety episode because I start ruminating on my feelings and exploring them in the hopes of getting to the bottom of them and fixing them, which tends to make them get worse and worse. For me, in this situation the best thing to do is do whatever I can to distract myself and not think about my feelings. (I can engage them later in a safer environment like at the therapist’s office). Don’t try to engage them or solve them. Acknowledge and move on. E.g., “I’m feeling really anxious right now, this will pass, I’m going to do this filing I need to do while listening to a distracting podcast.” Some kind of activity that requires some brain power but is not extremely difficult is great for me in this situation, but if that isn’t possible, make a list of things to do, and just keep moving to the next thing on the list. You can acknowledge your feelings but keep moving on, like, “oh yes Hi anxiety, I see you are still there, I’ll deal with you later.” You can even schedule a time to feel anxious, like I will be doing that tonight at 9 pm, so I’m not doing it now.

    • lawsuited says

      Enjoy your afternoon away from work and with your toddler – toddler doesn’t care about deadlines or org changes, he just loves you and thinks you’re the best ever. Have a long hug with your spouse when you get home. If you have the energy, start getting things together for your vacation at the end of the week and focus on what special time together that will be.

      Also ask the doctor if they can recommend anything for acute anxiety when you take your toddler.

  12. Anonymous says

    Does anyone want to do some vicarious shopping? Looking for black sandals for my business casual work environment. I prefer a low wedge and would like to be able to wear them with pants, dresses, and skirts.

    I can’t seem to find many options that don’t have an ankle strap and those just make my legs look stumpy. But I don’t want just a slide either.

  14. Anon says

    Everything I’ve read online suggests that I need to be pumping twice per day minimum while I’m at work (my workday is ~9 hours including commute). But I’m not sure if I have oversupply or what because I’ve been getting 12-14 ounces per pumping session and my (three and a half month old) baby doesn’t seem to need even that much while I’m gone. Can I drop to one session per day? My only close mom friend is being a bit fear-mongering and telling me my supply will plummet because pumps aren’t as good as the baby at removing milk (which is true, but won’t my body keep producing whatever the pump is removing?). She also said I need to build up a big freezer stash because the baby will eventually start drinking more. I’m not sure that’s true – I’ve seen a lot of stuff online about how the baby’s intake volume doesn’t increase much past about the one month mark – but anyway I wouldn’t be devastated if I had to supplement with formula. My main goal is to feed the baby a large amount of breastmilk, not to never feed her formula. Any thoughts on whether I should I drop to once a day or should I keep at it twice per day? I find pumping twice per day pretty annoying and it takes me a LONG time – usually close to 30 minutes of actual pumping per session, so 45 minutes with setup and tear down, but I’m not in a billable hour job or anything like that where time literally equals money (and I haven’t been extending my work day because of a second pumping break).

    • Anonymous says

      I’d probably do two sessions and just make them shorter if you don’t need as much milk. I never got big into freezing a huge amount and while my son did start drinking slightly more around maybe the 6 month mark it wasn’t anything super dramatic and I think he made up for the smaller bottles when I was around. I think the drop in supply results from your not being “emptied” for long periods of time, which is why I’d probably do twice a day and just not go as long! (You can obviously also just not, and potentially supplement down the road…also drop in supply isn’t a permanent thing, if you “up demand” you can bring it back (at least until you’re like 9-10 months out when for me, and for most people, your supply just drops due to hormonal changes).)

    • H13 says

      While your supply may decrease, it seems like maybe it wouldn’t matter too much? With that much milk, you will definitely have a freezer stash if you need it. And I got this wisdom from the ladies here: feed the baby, not the freezer.

      It sounds like you have a healthy attitude about pumping/nursing. If it makes a big difference in your life, drop to one session and enjoy the extra time! Or you could just pump 15-20 mins 2x/day instead? You can always add a session back in if needed.

    • Anonymous says

      I would shorten your pumping sessions instead of dropping one. Try pumping for 20 mins instead of 30 mins. You’ll also get more efficient with set up/take down with practice so you can only take 30 mins to pump for 20. If you eat lunch at the same time (I ate half my lunch during my morning pump session and the other half during my afternoon session) then you’re not using up too much work time. I also found pumping was a great time to read cases or other longer reading activities.

      It’s also okay to drop to one if that’s what’s best for you but I do think you’re going to see a big supply impact if you are only pumping once in 9 hours, unless you are nursing right before you leave and as soon as you walk in the door at home.

      • Anon in NYC says

        +1. I do think shortening your pumping sessions is a good first step before dropping a session. Bonus is that it may help regulate your supply. I had a crazy oversupply that didn’t really work itself out until my kid was around 6 months.

        I did wind up building up a larger freezer stash, but I heard that BM is only good in the freezer for about 3 months (rather than the 6 months I originally thought). So just cycle through your freezer stash regularly and replenish it as needed.

    • AwayEmily says

      You should totally drop to one pump a day. It makes life so much easier. See how it goes — you can always add one back in if he seems to be needing more milk down the road and you don’t feel like supplementing. I think if you have a good baseline supply (as it seems like you do) then your body readjusts pretty quickly if necessary. I got HORRIBLE food poisoning when my first was about four months old. My supply basically disappeared, but I just kept nursing and within a week it was back to normal. So it’s not like this is some kind of irreversible decision.

      My second baby is four months old and I go back to work next month. I’m planning on starting off with just one pump a day — I don’t anticipate that I will be able to keep up with his needs with only one pumping session but am totally okay with supplementing because pumping once a day is mentally so much better for me.

    • Anonymous says

      I found my twins’ milk demands steadily increased even though my milk production stayed the same, so I just supplemented with formula and pumped however much I wanted to (for me I pumped twice a day at work, but I was exclusively pumping). Do what makes you feel the least annoyed. Once they were around 9 months, and they were just getting one BM bottle per day each and the rest formula, and I got the stomach flu from a trip, I just switched entirely to formula. If you only want to pump once per day, just do it once a day– they’re getting some, they’re getting fed.

    • anon says

      Agree with the others – keep 2 pumping sessions but shorten them. It’s still valuable to build up a freezer stash just in case something happens – you want a night out, you get sick and supply drops, baby goes through a growth spurt and wants more than you can give at the moment, etc.

    • Anon OP says

      Thanks all. I do nurse right before and after work. I have a selfish reason for only wanting to pump once per day. My house is pretty close to work and if I were only doing it once per day I could go home but I don’t think I can swing two trips home. My work lactation space is pretty awful – a small dark dirty room in the basement and I would LOVE to pump at home instead. Although I have plenty of milk once I get going it takes me forever to get a letdown because I’m so uncomfortable in that room (people have asked for a better space before and it went nowhere). It would also be nice not to haul in the pump every day and to be able to leave the stuff that doesn’t have to be cleaned all assembled.

      • Anonymous says

        If you have no need to pump at home when you’re actually at home, definitely leave it at work (or get a second pump if you can swing it). I would not have survived pumping at work if I had to carry it in every day.

        As for the room, that sucks. My work lactation room had no windows and cockroaches. So I feel you.

      • Anon OP says

        I have one other less selfish concern about two shorter pumping sessions – if I’m not emptying my breasts at each session, will I get enough high calorie hindmilk? When the baby was really little I was giving her both breasts at each feeding and she wasn’t gaining weight well. The doctor told me because I have oversupply she was probably getting too much foremilk and I should make her work on one breast for the entire session even if it felt to me like the breast was empty. She started gaining weight better then…
        (To the poster above, I’m pretty sure this room has roaches too since I’ve heard that from other people, but I haven’t seen one – yet – and am choosing to believe that if I can’t see them they don’t exist. I have to haul the bottles and pump parts home every day for cleaning so I’m not sure how much good leaving the pump itself at work would do? I think it seems harder to have stuff in two separate bags since right now all my pumping gear is in one bag.)

        • Meg Murry says

          You don’t need to be 100% empty to get most of the hindmilk – you just don’t want to just pump for 5-10 minutes to strip off only the foremilk and then not get the hindmilk at all. Especially if you are getting 12-14 oz per session – that’s a pretty substantial oversupply! In fact, if you are pumping *too* much, you could be signally your body to keep making more milk, which will only make the oversupply worse.

          If you want to do an experiment you can take the milk you pumped today and pour it into a bottle with oz marking on it. Leave it in the fridge for about 24 hours and see how much fat has separated onto the top vs watery milk on the bottom. Do the same thing with either a shortened pumping session or only 1 per day and see if the fat content looks similar. If it’s pretty close then you don’t need to worry – but if your first bottle has tons more fat than the second you probably need to taper down pumping more slowly (cutting 3-5 minutes off a session, then 3-5 more, etc).

          My only concerns with only pumping one time a work day are: 1) will you be physically uncomfortable and/or leak? 2) Will you be able to get back home every single day or will there be days when it’s pouring down rain or you have back to back meetings and you’d wind up skipping pumping all day that day? If scenario #2 sounds like it could be a possibility I’d suggest you at least have a hand pump kept at work for a backup plan – because skipping a full day of pumping could lead to leaking and/or clogged ducts.

          • Anon OP says

            Oh I would definitely pump at work if I had a noon meeting and going home isn’t feasible. I just thought it would be nicer to do the majority of my pumping at home and only have to do it in this gross room once in a while. I do leak a lot and always have, so I wear pads in my bras at work.

      • lawsuited says

        If you have a strong preference for one pumping session over two, definitely do it! If it’s not working for whatever reason, you can do back to two pumping sessions. Also, no one is giving out any prizes for EBF so do what makes sense for you.

    • Anon says

      I kept 3 sessions (with a bit of an oversupply) until 7 months, then I dropped to 2 sessions for month 8, then 1 at month 9 and I am done at month 10 with day pumping because she doesn’t take milk during the day from my husband anymore (just eats her 3 meals of solids, sips water all day and nurses like a fiend at night and in the morning). If you’re comfortable with giving formula, I would say drop to one, give it a week and see if you’re still getting the same amount. I found I was getting about 8 oz in one longer session (easier for my schedule) vs. 10 oz. in 2, so it wasn’t that big of a difference for me when she was down to 1 6 oz bottle a day plus solids. I have a 10-11 hour work day + commute on average

    • anon says

      30 minutes is pretty long for a pumping session. That might be why you’re having some oversupply. I would try shortening sessions first. If you drop to one per day, your supply will probably dwindle some even if you don’t notice it immediately. Also, if your commute is long enough, try pumping in the car. It’s a little awkward at first but can be a good way to get them in.

    • Anonymous says

      In a similar situation to you, I pumped once a day. I was concerned it was too little based on the same advice you’re getting, but it was more convenient, and it worked for me — I breastfed my baby for 12 months.

  15. AwayEmily says

    I know that there are a couple of moms on here who exclusively pumped for their babies and I just wanted to say that you guys are amazing. I just got back from two days of traveling and holy crap, pumping 24/7 is exhausting. Seriously, I do not know how you did it — especially in the first few months when you’re constantly tired.

    • Anonymous says

      +1. My best friend pumped 10+ times a day for the first month of her son’s life because he wouldn’t latch. I can’t even imagine how much work that is. I would say I’m in awe but she’s a little smug about the fact that her baby never had formula and mine did (my kiddo latched just fine but my milk took a week to come in). So both in awe and annoyed? Ha.

      • Mrs. Jones says

        I pumped 8-9 times a day for the first month because son wouldn’t nurse. It was utterly miserable. But my baby had formula too. I’m not smug about it. I’m just glad it’s over and I will never do it again.

      • Anonymous says

        Your friend can go and shove it!! Who gives a fart if a baby has a bottle of formula or not? I nursed for 13 months and our daughter transitioned to formula. Bfing is hard work and something to be proud of, but there’s no reason to be smug or braggy about the experience.

        • Anonymous says

          Oh I totally agree it’s nothing to be smug about. It’s weird to me that so many moms treat formula like poison. There’s nothing BAD in formula, it just lacks some good things that breast milk has. I can understand wanting your baby to have as much breast milk as possible but I can’t understand wanting them to have NOT ONE SINGLE DROP of formula, like it’s toxic or something. A baby that is getting 50-50 formula and milk is probably getting 90% of the benefits of an EBF baby, and a baby that gets 90/10 is probably getting 99% of the benefits (exact numbers made up, but my awesome pediatrician suggested it was something like that).
          I love my friend dearly, but her parenting choices are different than mine to say the least. Her son is almost 8 months old and still hasn’t had solids because #breastisbest…

          • Anonymous says

            My take is that EP and EBF (and unmedicated birth) are like running a marathon: there’s no general reason why everyone should do it, but if you want to it’s fine but please keep in mind that no one wants to hear you brag about it.

    • Anonymous says

      I exclusively pumped for my twins (same anon as above) and honestly it struck me as the easiest option– I could simultaneously pump while feeding one with a bottle while my husband fed the other one a pumped bottle and then the whole thing took the same amount of time as just nursing one baby would have! It was simultaneously a pain and the easiest option. I totally advocate it for twin moms who are going back to work because tandem nursing was (for me and my floppy-necked babies) very complicated. I remember one of my husband’s coworkers being like IN AWE that I was still pumping for them at 9 months but since the twins were my first kids it was all I ever knew. But I was mixing formula into it the whole time to increase the calories (our daughter had really severe IUGR) and so I felt no qualms about stopping as soon as the formula-to-milk ratio was getting a little silly… anyone being smug about not ever giving their kid formula can GTFO as far as I’m concerned. I kept rolling my eyes at the nurses in the NICU who were like “OOOH LIQUID GOLD” when I brought my BM in every day and then immediately went and dumped a bunch of formula into it.

      • Anonymous says

        But you had to wash all those bottles! You’re a hero in my book for keeping twins alive in any case.

        • Anonymous says

          OMG so many bottles. And I don’t know WHY it took me so long to buy a ton of pump parts but over three or four months I finally accumulated enough spares so we could just run the dishwasher once per day. For the first few months we were handwashing all those finicky Dr. Browns pieces after every feeding and WHY. Newborn delirium.

      • Anonymous says

        I think pumping isn’t that much harder than nursing if you just throw the pump parts in the fridge between sessions and only clean them once a day. But a lot of EPing moms I know are really obsessive about sterilization (because I think people tend to pump more for preemies and whatnot) and if you are washing all the pump parts after every session, that’s a LOT of extra work.

        • Anon says

          The timing was what got me. Between the 20-30 min of pumping plus an additional 20+ min to feed the baby, the feeding process took basically the whole day (not to mention the night, when there’s no such thing as a quick feed/nurse back to sleep).. And towards the beginning when I didn’t have a stash, it was so stressful to have a crying baby and need to quickly pump out some milk. Nursing (with all of it’s challenges) has been soooo much better than my EP months.

    • GCA says

      I have no idea how EPers do it (see above for my views on pumping)! You are actually heroes. And it is entirely possible to do it without being smug or judgy – one of my friends EPed an entire year (possibly more?) and after the first few months when we were all commiserating about juggling work and pumping, I never really heard a peep out of her about it, it was just her normal.

      As for the ‘never had formula’ bit – I don’t really understand smugness on that front, because you do what you need to do. I was IUGR, my mom was induced, she had trouble nursing, I am alive today thanks to formula. Kiddo was jaundiced at birth, we supplemented, he is perfectly healthy today because of it. Kid #2 is likely to be jaundiced too, as many babies of Asian descent are – you bet that formula and feeding gear is going in our hospital bag.

    • Meg Murry says

      My oldest never figured out how to nurse (the lactation consultants called him a “lazy sucker”), and because we missed the prime window my supply was always low. We did 3 weeks of trying to nurse with a supplemental system that we never got the hang of, THEN feed him a bottle of formula, THEN pump, THEN wash all the stuff, repeat – after that, going to just pumping and bottle feeding seemed like the easier option. That said, I never was able to produce enough for 100% EBF – my son got about 50% formula and 50% pumped milk for his first 6 months, with me pumping 5-6 times a day. I was able to squeeze 2 of those pumping session in on my hour long commute though, so that helped a little.

  16. anon ny says

    Vicarious shopping help? I need a dress for a black tie optional, summer, country club wedding in New York. Bonus points if it is nursing friendly, but not necessary.
    I think the black tie and summer combination is throwing me off.

  17. Spanish Preschool says

    Are foreign language immersion preschools a good idea? My daughter is 3 and we’re thinking of putting her in a Spanish immersion preschool for 2-3 days a week. But is 2-3 days a week worth it? We don’t want to do 5 days per week because we want to save our spot at our current daycare for when she starts elementary school in a couple of years (the Spanish school only does ages 18 months – 5 years). I don’t think she likes her current teacher, but I would feel bad about permanently removing her from her friends in her current school.

    We live in Texas, so I think she’ll have opportunities to be exposed to Spanish after turning 5.

    • AwayEmily says

      I’d be more worried about the switching between preschools — I think that might be a bit confusing. Or maybe i’m just projecting — my toddler is very routine-oriented and wouldn’t like going back and forth between different sets of rules, etc.

    • Anon says

      So she’d have 2 school years of being taught in Spanish 2-3 days a week? Is it full day or just a couple hours? I was bilingual when I was younger, but lost my Spanish because we moved when I was 5 and no one spoke it to me after that. I picked it up easily in high school, and my pronunciation was better, but not dramatically different from other kids in my class.

      I’m not sure this is a good idea unless you have a concrete plan to continue the Spanish after preschool ends. Would you have an option for bilingual elementary school? Just doing this to expose her to the language seems like more of a hassle than it’s worth unless you’re going to continue it so she can become fluent.

    • lala says

      It isn’t the bilingual aspect that I think is a bad idea (both of my kids are in FT Spanish immersion) but the part time aspect. Going to two different preschools with completely different, well, everything, is going to be so hard for a kid that age (and for the parents too, thinking about which school requires what, etc).

  18. anon says

    Will her kindergarten be bilingual? We switched preschools around age 3 because we go into a Spanish immersion program and because our kindergarten will be bilingual (English and Spanish). So, while i was dreading the change, I knew it would better prepare kiddo for Spanish in K.
    The change was fine and we’re almost a year into it (full time) and kiddo speaks Spanish! Its amazing.

  19. FVNC says

    I have plenty of gripes about my company, but I have to say, I’ve noticed so many men I work with are increasingly open about their parenting obligations and it just makes working parent life a tiny bit easier. An exec just canceled a meeting with me at the last minute. He could have simply said he was busy — he’s the client and senior to me, so he doesn’t owe me an explanation — but he said his son is sick and he’s got to take care of him. Makes me feel less guilty about my daughter popping up on my Webex last night a la the BBC reporter’s kiddo!

    • Anonymous says

      Aw I love that. My DH is a professor who’s currently working from home/taking care of our baby and he’s been bringing her to Skype meetings with his collaborators (who are all junior to him, fwiw). I admit the double-standard bugs me (people are always saying to him “aww you’re such an amazing dad!” and I feel like when women do it, people are much more likely to side-eye it as unprofessional) but I do hope he will normalize it, and if any of his female collaborators have kids they will be comfortable doing the same thing.

  20. ElisaR says

    Does anybody have any suggestions on how to use the packaging MM Lafleur sends clothing in? I feel like it’s a cool bag and I don’t know what to do with them.

    • Bags says

      For packing, esp work clothes! It keeps them separate from other stuff in your suitcase so they won’t get dirty, plus helps minimize wrinkles – fold the piece of clothing as little as possible to fit into the bag, then fold the bag into your suitcase. Works really well.

  21. CPA Lady says

    Random exercise recommendation:

    I’ve been working on getting a bit healthier with eating and exercising this year, and I started “bikini body mommy” (the name is silly, but whatever) a few weeks ago. It’s a 90 day exercise program, free on youtube.

    She has different iterations of the program, and I’m doing 7.0. She has four kids and starts the program when she’s postpartum and horribly out of shape. So she’s huffing and puffing along with you, rather than effortlessly cranking out 60 burpees while showing off tan washboard abs.

    You only need a few dumbells, all the workouts are under 30 minutes, and you can do it in your house. Basically, it’s perfect for me and I thought I’d share in case any of you need something you can do at home.

    • Anon in NYC says

      That’s great! Is there a lot of jumping involved? My old knees, creaky floors, and downstairs neighbor would all hate those things.

    • CPA Lady says

      It depends on the day- it’s basically every other day cardio, every other day weight exercises (stuff like push ups and squats and lunges with dumbells, not like heavy lifting). With cardio, there is occasional jumping, like a minute of jumping jacks or something like that. She does talk about how to modify some exercises though.

  22. EB0220 says

    My 6 year old is getting a tooth or two pulled tomorrow because a permanent tooth is coming in behind. She loves the dentist so far, so no anxiety on her part….but I’m worried! Any advice?

    • Anonymous says

      Just had this done for my kiddo, as a surprise when I took her in for a persistent toothache (sadly, her baby tooth was rotten and the permanent tooth was just about ready to descend so rather than fill the giant cavity they pulled baby tooth).

      Anyway, not a big deal at all. My 8 year old got loopy funny with the gas and (she’s super afraid of needled, like, ahem, mama) didn’t even notice the needle. Also, it was funny to see what a future drunk kiddo will be like. Bleeding was annoying and dentist insisted on keeping gauze on it for the whole day because he was afraid kiddo would bite her cheek severely since she couldn’t feel anything. But we didn’t even have to give painkiller at home – either kiddo is tough or it just wasn’t a big deal.

      Good luck!!

    • BigLaw Sr Assoc says

      Two of my kids had to have something similar done. They were FASCINATED by the needle used to administer local anesthetic and not afraid at all. I was happy and creeped out at the same time.

    • shortperson says

      the tooth fairy visited me after i had my wisdom teeth pulled when i was 18 with a great note and some cash. my dad still gets parenting points for that one.

    • Anonymous says

      I had this done when I was a bit older (around 8-10 I think) and it really wasn’t a big traumatic experience. It was basically on par with cavity filling. I would just try not to worry about it too much and let the dentist do her thing.

  23. GCA says

    Minor grumble from the department of first-world problems: is there any sitting position that is comfortable during third trimester? If anyone finds one, please let me know. I already have my monitor raised and a cushion behind my back…

    • Anonymous says

      Exercise ball? But my main problem was pelvic pain so having something soft down there was a big help.

    • CBG says

      I ordered an exercise ball off Amazon for around $15. I bounced on it for like 20 minutes every 2 hours. It was nice to roll back and forth to stretch out my hips. I bought it to help with the baby’s position and keep things loose for birth, but it was a nice break from my desk chair too, also I sometimes used it as a foot rest.

      • HSAL says

        I’m 9 days away from a csection for twins and I forgot about my exercise ball from my first pregnancy! I might have to bust it out anyway because everything is so painful.

    • BigLaw Sr Assoc says

      I am tiny lady and gave birth to 7+ each pound twins. For work during my third trimester, I found it helped to lean back as much as possible with a lumbar support pillow, sit basically spread eagle, with my feet on a long foot rest. Driving was worse because I couldn’t lean back and one of two little dudes pushed on my bladder the whole time (and my enormous belly was in the way).

    • shortperson says

      i mostly worked from home in baby glider in last month with feet up. it was actually really productive. and comfy.

      • GCA says

        The glider! In true GCA fashion I have forgotten that we have one, because it’s usually covered in several strata of books. Thanks for reminding me. Hope these suggestions help all of you out there who are in the same awkward position.

    • Anonymous says

      30 weeks here and I swear my 8.5 lb first baby was not this large this early. I can’t find many positions that don’t block my breathing or jam my ribs into my uterus. Reclining a bit helps, but not too far or I get dizzy; leaning waaaaay forward so my torso is almost horizontal is the best (but not great for my neck). So I feel you!! Sitting with one knee bent up, foot on the chair seat, also helps. Meetings where I have to sit upright in a professional position are the worst.

      • Anonymous says

        Also– working from home as much as possible so I can sit on the couch.

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