The Best Default Birthday Presents for Kids You Don’t Know Well
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2018 Update: We still stand by this post on default birthday presents for kids, but you may also want to check out our more recent discussion on kid birthday party guest etiquette.
For the first time ever, my eldest son J is having a birthday party for just his friends. (Summer birthdays are always awkward, but as he turns 6 he’s old enough now that he knows who his friends are, even if they’re not necessarily in the same class or exact same time slot for Activity Y.) One of the things that’s been surprising to me is how many moms are actually asking what he wants — in part because my previous strategy as a gift-giver has just been to spend $25-$50 on toys or books, purchased at a store that isn’t too difficult for returns, with a gift receipt. (To me that usually means Target, Toys R Us, or Barnes & Noble!) The theory behind it is that if the kiddo liked it and/or didn’t have it already, great; if not the parent could return it for another toy or book the kiddo liked more. (Or, hey, for a gift card that could then be used for a larger gift.) I think I’ve also written about how the grandparents do SUCH a great job of getting presents that I tend to favor experiences over toys — so I don’t even really know what he wants and have just been responding “Oh, you know, Legos or Star Wars stuff!” (Honestly, what he would LOVE are Nerf guns, iTunes gift cards, and candy, but I would probably be annoyed at anyone who got us those!!)
In any event — let’s discuss! What’s your strategy for getting default birthday presents for kids you don’t know well? Do you have some default birthday presents that you tend to just grab and go, similar to my theory on “eh, they’ll return it if they don’t like it”? What are the default presents that you get again and again for kiddos — and for what age ranges? Do you ask moms of birthday boys and girls what they want for their birthday?
These are some of my default birthday presents for kids I don’t know well — but ladies, I’d love to hear yours…
Under 1: Baby registry. Just stick to the baby registry or get some nice books for the new mom!
1 Year Old: Board books — or touch/pull/lift books like those from Matthew Van Fleet.
2 Years Old: Books your family loves. Dream blanket! My boys both love (loooove) their dream blankets.
3 Years Old: Playdoh toys, Magnatiles, or books from the “Five Minute Stories.” (J particularly loved the “Diggin Rigs” kind of Play Doh toys.)
4 Years Old: Lego sets. Art supplies. Junior board games.
5 Years Old: Phonics/level 1 or 2 reading books. Hidden Picture books. Legos, art supplies, board games.
How about you guys? What’s your gift-giving strategies for kids’ birthday parties? What birthday presents do you get for kids you don’t know well?
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Picture via Stencil.
For kids 3 and younger, books.
For kids in the 4-8 range, I always give a wooden map of the US puzzle. I can still remember playing with mine as a child, and my parents using it to teach me all the places I’d been, where family members live, where famous landmarks are, etc.
I try to pre-buy non-gendered toys in the $20 range when I see them on sale so I have a gift closet ready to go. My number 1 go-to for a very wide range of ages is some sort of Magnatile or high quality magnetic blocks. Worst case scenario the kid already has and can add to the set. I’ve also gotten kinetic sand kits and nice arts and crafts kits lately.
Tickets for the carousel or train ride at the local park. They are sold in packs of ten.
Tickets/ gift certificates for the local puppet theatre or children’s theatre. Or, if I know the family well, I will take the birthday child myself along with my own child- the two kids get a play date and the birthday kid’/ parents get a kid free afternoon!
For 4 yrs+: Jenga. Fun for all ages, plus I t’s less than $10.
For babies and toddlers up to age 3, always books. That’s what I prefer as a parent so that’s why I give.
For older kids that we love but don’t see that much (i.e., cousins on the other side of the country), the fatbraintoys calculator is awesome. No gift receipt but based on past experiences we are happy to keep doing this. It’s especially helpful when kids are slightly older than mine so I don’t really have direct experience with that circle and since we don’t live nearby I don’t see them day to day.
For kids we don’t know that well I have a stocked closet of items worth about $25 that I buy for cheap (like $10)…so no gift receipt. When my kids were younger (up to about age 5), I would pick out something for the kid from my stash and I’d have my kid help wrap it.
Now that my kids are 5 and 8, they like to pick out gifts for their friends. So, I still have my stash, but I pick out 2 or 3 choices from my stash and let my kid choose which one to wrap for the party. This saves me $$ and also time at the store where my kids are distracted by cool toys THEY wish they could have.
Things that have worked well in my stash, and they work for a variety of ages from 3-9:
– Lego Klutz kits
– Lego books (big hardcover ideas books that serve as inspiration when kids just have piles of bricks)
– Magic kits
– Science kits
– Dress up sets (ditto someone above on giving occupation themed ones to girls, but maybe waning interest around age 6)
– Board games
I am probably cheaper than most but for my son’s classmate’s birthdays, of which there are MANY, I try not to spend more than $10 unless we have a pretty special relationship with the parents. He’s 5. I typically stock up on stuff during Amazon sales and pull something out of my gift stash, but themes have included:
young toddler – sand or water toys (like a water wheel spinner), homemade playdough* with a couple toys (toys were purchased in bulk from Discount School supply)
Preschool – Melissa and Doug reusable sticker books, M&D water wow books, M&D tattoo books, M&D make/paint wooden vehicle kits, mini Lego kits, Alex Little Hands craft kits, favorite books, Spot It! Junior game
*Note: I have since learned play dough is slightly controversial among the less mess tolerant parents so I don’t know if I recommend that. I bought a bunch of kinetic sand on sale that I ended up not giving away as I realized some people hate it.
Among gifts we have received, one unexpected and inexpensive one that I and my son really liked was this foaming bath soap in a dispenser shaped like Batman.
Pop toobs (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0052GOJ1S/ref=sr_ph_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1502826641&sr=sr-1&keywords=pop+toobs) are my favorite toddler toy and go-to toddler birthday present. They can be used in all sorts of different play (they make funny noises, you can make swords or necklaces out of them, you can build things or use them in water) and probably can be fun in different ways from about 18mo through 3 or 4. You can toss one in a bag or in the car for a simple distraction or you can play with a bunch as a set (so on the off chance someone already has some, a few more aren’t clutter).
I have a friend whose gift policy for kids she doesn’t know well is to buy whatever the top rated new release book on amazon is for the appropriate age. Less likely to end up with duplicates.
Oh man, this is a struggle. Now that DS is in elementary school, I have him pick out the gift for the birthday boy or girl. I figure he knows what they like better than I do. (FWIW, I never spend more than $15 for a random classmate and luckily other parents seem to follow that rule, too.)
When I’m really stumped, I usually go for a bucket of art supplies, a giant sticker pad, or books. I really love it when parents specifically say no gifts, because trust me, none of these kids are hurting for material items.
I go to fatbraintoys.com and use their gift algorithm (boy, girl, neutral, and age) and pick something from that. The gifts I’ve picked for family and friends (in a range of ages) have been pretty popular. The downside is that they don’t do gift receipts and the giftee can’t just return it to Target.
Ironically, I love getting books as gifts for my own daughter, but am paralyzed by the fear that the other child will already have it or parents won’t like it, so I hardly ever give books as gifts. (And my niece and nephew honestly prefer toys.)
1: beeswax crayons
2-3: big box of crayola chalk, jellycat unicorn
3-4: lego kit in theme related to party (meaning usually the disney princess lego kits)
I just grab something age-appropriate from my regift closet or something in the $10-$15 range from Marshall’s (wooden puzzle, book, M+D toy). But our social circle bday parties are for kids 3 and under so not too complicated. We don’t do friend bday parties for our daughter but if we did I would specify no gifts because who needs all that extra stuff (except to stock the regift closet).
I was just thinking that the LeapFrog Magnetic Magnets Set was a great gift that has held up well since my daughter got it at maybe around 12-18 months and she’s now a little over 2. (see https://www.amazon.com/LeapFrog-Fridge-Phonics-Magnetic-Letter/dp/B00JLHVX36/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1502823400&sr=8-1&keywords=abc+magnets+bus)
It makes noise so other people may hate it, but she has fun playing the songs, she’s finally figured out how to manipulate the different letters in and out of the bus, and I think she’ll get some more fun out of it for a few years.
I give The Book With No Pictures, by BJ Novak. Works for ages 3 through probably 7 or 8 (we have given to many 6 year olds). At the beginning of the age bracket, they understand a parent reading it, and find it hilarious. By the end of the age bracket, they can read it themselves!
We’ve started doing gift certificates for things a 6-7 year old would like- movie tickets, ice cream, putt-putt golf, etc. So much easier and costs about the same. I’ve also given board games like No-Stress Chess or something that will similarly “grow” with them.
My friend mentioned her son liked nerf stuff and the kid got a veritable arsenal which was pretty funny.
My default gift for any occasion – a gift card of stock. $20-25 for kiddies, $100 for graduations and weddings.
Different conundrum……..I’m always looking for a better way to communicate “gifts not necessary” (especially to people who don’t know my young children all that well) because we have So. Many. Toys. Getting 10 new gifts more often than not just leads to a bunch of wasted wrapping and cards and sometimes even the toys themselves. I also don’t want birthdays just just be about gifts, there are so many other fun things we could do with the time and money spent on gift buying, wrapping, and unwrapping for small children. (I would never tell family not to give gifts, we often need a few things and I’m not that heartless!)