The Best Default Birthday Presents for Kids You Don’t Know Well
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2018 Update: We still stand by this post on default birthday presents for kids, but you may also want to check out our more recent discussion on kid birthday party guest etiquette.
For the first time ever, my eldest son J is having a birthday party for just his friends. (Summer birthdays are always awkward, but as he turns 6 he’s old enough now that he knows who his friends are, even if they’re not necessarily in the same class or exact same time slot for Activity Y.) One of the things that’s been surprising to me is how many moms are actually asking what he wants — in part because my previous strategy as a gift-giver has just been to spend $25-$50 on toys or books, purchased at a store that isn’t too difficult for returns, with a gift receipt. (To me that usually means Target, Toys R Us, or Barnes & Noble!) The theory behind it is that if the kiddo liked it and/or didn’t have it already, great; if not the parent could return it for another toy or book the kiddo liked more. (Or, hey, for a gift card that could then be used for a larger gift.) I think I’ve also written about how the grandparents do SUCH a great job of getting presents that I tend to favor experiences over toys — so I don’t even really know what he wants and have just been responding “Oh, you know, Legos or Star Wars stuff!” (Honestly, what he would LOVE are Nerf guns, iTunes gift cards, and candy, but I would probably be annoyed at anyone who got us those!!)
In any event — let’s discuss! What’s your strategy for getting default birthday presents for kids you don’t know well? Do you have some default birthday presents that you tend to just grab and go, similar to my theory on “eh, they’ll return it if they don’t like it”? What are the default presents that you get again and again for kiddos — and for what age ranges? Do you ask moms of birthday boys and girls what they want for their birthday?
These are some of my default birthday presents for kids I don’t know well — but ladies, I’d love to hear yours…
Under 1: Baby registry. Just stick to the baby registry or get some nice books for the new mom!
1 Year Old: Board books — or touch/pull/lift books like those from Matthew Van Fleet.
2 Years Old: Books your family loves. Dream blanket! My boys both love (loooove) their dream blankets.
3 Years Old: Playdoh toys, Magnatiles, or books from the “Five Minute Stories.” (J particularly loved the “Diggin Rigs” kind of Play Doh toys.)
4 Years Old: Lego sets. Art supplies. Junior board games.
5 Years Old: Phonics/level 1 or 2 reading books. Hidden Picture books. Legos, art supplies, board games.
How about you guys? What’s your gift-giving strategies for kids’ birthday parties? What birthday presents do you get for kids you don’t know well?
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Picture via Stencil.
For elementary school-aged kids, Crayola Marker Maker. Age-appropriate puzzles.
My new favorite is the Melissa & Doug dress-up costumes that are more occupation-oriented (doctor, firefighter, construction worker, pirate). Girls often have only princess dress-up stuff and boys often have no dress-up items (but love them).
Stickers! I got the Ultimate Sticker Books for the 2-year-old birthday parties I went to this past year.
I bought a bunch of light-up fidget spinners and have been giving those as gifts, along with a book or sticker book, for kids aged 4 and up. Seems to be a big hit.
I actually give a lot of weather gear as gifts. Rain coats/rain boots in one size up. Hats and mittens.
I’ll usually add a theme appropriate book, so you get ‘the snowy day’, a hat and mittens. Likewise, you might get ‘Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs’ with a raincoat.
My theory is that it’s never bad to have duplicates of these things, but I generally include a gift receipt (usually to Target).
I put almost no thought or effort into this and get an age appropriate toy on Amazon for never over $25. If the kid(‘s parents) don’t like it they can package it up for the next birthday party they go to.
Different conundrum……..I’m always looking for a better way to communicate “gifts not necessary” (especially to people who don’t know my young children all that well) because we have So. Many. Toys. Getting 10 new gifts more often than not just leads to a bunch of wasted wrapping and cards and sometimes even the toys themselves. I also don’t want birthdays just just be about gifts, there are so many other fun things we could do with the time and money spent on gift buying, wrapping, and unwrapping for small children. (I would never tell family not to give gifts, we often need a few things and I’m not that heartless!)
My default gift for any occasion – a gift card of stock. $20-25 for kiddies, $100 for graduations and weddings.
We’ve started doing gift certificates for things a 6-7 year old would like- movie tickets, ice cream, putt-putt golf, etc. So much easier and costs about the same. I’ve also given board games like No-Stress Chess or something that will similarly “grow” with them.
My friend mentioned her son liked nerf stuff and the kid got a veritable arsenal which was pretty funny.
I give The Book With No Pictures, by BJ Novak. Works for ages 3 through probably 7 or 8 (we have given to many 6 year olds). At the beginning of the age bracket, they understand a parent reading it, and find it hilarious. By the end of the age bracket, they can read it themselves!
I was just thinking that the LeapFrog Magnetic Magnets Set was a great gift that has held up well since my daughter got it at maybe around 12-18 months and she’s now a little over 2. (see https://www.amazon.com/LeapFrog-Fridge-Phonics-Magnetic-Letter/dp/B00JLHVX36/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1502823400&sr=8-1&keywords=abc+magnets+bus)
It makes noise so other people may hate it, but she has fun playing the songs, she’s finally figured out how to manipulate the different letters in and out of the bus, and I think she’ll get some more fun out of it for a few years.
I just grab something age-appropriate from my regift closet or something in the $10-$15 range from Marshall’s (wooden puzzle, book, M+D toy). But our social circle bday parties are for kids 3 and under so not too complicated. We don’t do friend bday parties for our daughter but if we did I would specify no gifts because who needs all that extra stuff (except to stock the regift closet).
1: beeswax crayons
2-3: big box of crayola chalk, jellycat unicorn
3-4: lego kit in theme related to party (meaning usually the disney princess lego kits)
I go to fatbraintoys.com and use their gift algorithm (boy, girl, neutral, and age) and pick something from that. The gifts I’ve picked for family and friends (in a range of ages) have been pretty popular. The downside is that they don’t do gift receipts and the giftee can’t just return it to Target.
Ironically, I love getting books as gifts for my own daughter, but am paralyzed by the fear that the other child will already have it or parents won’t like it, so I hardly ever give books as gifts. (And my niece and nephew honestly prefer toys.)
Oh man, this is a struggle. Now that DS is in elementary school, I have him pick out the gift for the birthday boy or girl. I figure he knows what they like better than I do. (FWIW, I never spend more than $15 for a random classmate and luckily other parents seem to follow that rule, too.)
When I’m really stumped, I usually go for a bucket of art supplies, a giant sticker pad, or books. I really love it when parents specifically say no gifts, because trust me, none of these kids are hurting for material items.