I’ve been diligent about sunscreen this summer so I’ve been on the hunt for a more economical one and this might be it.
This unscented sunscreen face lotion from drugstore darling Aveeno provides SPF 60 protection along with all day hydration (compliments of prebiotic oat). The non-greasy, hypoallergenic formula dries clear (so no white streaks on you or your black tee) and is water and sweat resistant for up to 80 minutes. I’m ready to make the most of the last few days of summer!
This sunscreen is $8.99 at Target.
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Anon says
When did you know to switch daycares or know it wasn’t a good fit for your kid?
It’s me. We moved and switched from our beloved in home center (12 kids age 6 weeks to 5 years) to a larger daycare where kids are divided by age and aside from the main teacher, the assistants change a lot. I know there is a transition period to adjust but can’t help wondering if this is not a good fit for kiddo and our family. Hes been in daycare since he was 5 months old and he’s turning 2 soon.
Biggest concern is that the people I drop off kiddo with each morning has not been consistent. The assistants are undergrads or grad students in the education program and so each morning kiddo sees a different face(s). This is also true of the infant classroom (we have another one on the way), and I’d prefer consistency with the providers, especially with little ones. I also think this has made the transition harder for him, because he doesn’t know who to expect each morning. I don’t know if this is a red flag, but I don’t particularly love the inconsistency.
One last thing is that I think kiddo 1 will be fine after a month or two, but the infant care isn’t really what I was hoping for for kid 2. Every time I look into the room it’s a different provider and the babies are put in a lot of containers. I’d like both of them to be in the same school (easier logistically) and getting a nanny is not preferred.
Thoughts? Experiences?
Anon says
Sounds like a university daycare based on the comment about undergrads? I can’t comment on the infant room baby containment issue, since our daycare has one room for infants and toddlers and the kids are pretty much always loose or being held (except at naptime), but in general we view all the new faces as a bonus. I know it can be a little jarring seeing unfamiliar people in the room but it’s good for kids to have experience meeting new people and (especially for kids under 3-4) having higher adult:kid ratios is a good thing.
Anonymous says
I had very similar complaints about my daycare. I had no interaction with the teachers besides the director and didn’t know who my kid was with during the day. He seemed mostly happy but it presented issues as he got older and made me wonder how we were going to tackle issues together in the future like potty training if I didn’t have access to his specific teachers. The teachers also swapped constantly. The way I approached it is to start doing research on other centers or schools to see what my options were and to compare. We also have a baby on the way and felt that the infant room had changed since we started with first kid. We did decide to ultimately move but are spending a fair amount more money, so there are pros and cons.
Atlien says
Are you at my daycare? Definitely struggling with this now. I do think that turnover is high across the board, and ours is trying to be generous with sick days, etc., but the result is a lot of new faces. My toddler does seem to know more of the faces than I do, so perhaps it just seems more unsettling from your perspective at quick dropoff/pickup times?Our infant just started this month too and the two primary teachers there, while new, have been consistent so that helps. Maybe just speak to the director and try to understand what the staffing situation is like. Once I understood that they are trying to be better about the teachers having consistent shifts/schedules (ex., Katie from 7-3, Mandy from 8-4, Jessie from 10-6) then I also try to align MY timing more evenly. Like I know if I can wrap early and pick up by about 4:45pm I can try to catch the original teacher from the morning and get a full report of the day. If I’m coming after that time, sometimes it gets a little more fast & loose with the floaters at the end of the day. To me that looks like chaos, but I suppose any daycare by 5:30pm is looking a little worse for the wear. Of course your schedule may not allow for anything like that but just a thought.
EDAnon says
I am surprised that you have an inconsistent person at dropoff. I think it is much more common at pickup, when the number of kiddos drops a lot. It seems like it would be easier on everyone if it was consistent. I recommend you ask the director. It may be that you’re seeing a lot of new faces now because it is summer and folks are on vacation (and maybe they have a different staffing model in summer?). I have had one kid or the other HATE going to school and the only thing that helps is that consistency of who I drop off too.
AIMS says
How does one find a good tutor, with the caveat that I am not on FB (and so don’t have access to moms groups). My kid needs help with reading and I have finally accepted that her dad and I are just not going to be able to do it ourselves. One of her camp counselors is an elementary teacher in a neighboring school and sent out an email last summer saying she also tutors but her schedule is difficult for us and she charges a lot (although maybe that’s just the going rate).
Would it be weird to email my kid’s old teachers (who I am friendly with) and ask if this is something they might want to do or know someone who would be interested? There’s also services like Kumon but they seem to have spotty reviews, at least in our area (I think they are franchises so probably vary widely).
I would also love to find an individual art teacher and have the same “how do I .. “ problem. In NYC (manhattan) if anyone has recommendations :-)
I’ve asked around but all our parent friends seem to be in a similar stage in life and have no suggestions.
Waffles says
My kid’s private art teacher is her former kindergarten teacher. I think it’s fine to contact former teachers and ask them to tap their networks.
For reading, I highly recommend the TV show Super Why, and the apps Teach Monster and Reading Eggs.
AIMS says
Thanks!!
Cb says
Our local museum runs kids art programmes, partnered with local artists and I wonder if a bit of digging at local libraries/museums might yield some names. It seems delightfully old-fashioned but maybe a poster at a studio space or art supply store?
I don’t use facebook either and delegate this stuff to my husband but I bet a friend would be willing to post for you in a moms space?
Anon says
I’m not sure how much the teacher was charging, but I have a friend who made $100/hour tutoring in Manhattan a few years ago. It isn’t as much money as it sounds, because they commute to every job separately so there’s a lot of unpaid time. Also they’re independent contractors so they pay more taxes than salaried employees. But yeah the hourly rate parents pay is really high.
Aunt Jamesina says
Tutoring can also involve a decent amount of prep work, so there’s more to it than just the time spent with the student. I remember when I started teaching 15 years ago I thought it sounded like good money (I think around $60-75/hour at the time in the Chicago suburbs), but once I accounted for driving and prep time, it wasn’t that great. I only did it for about a year and was so relieved when I finished with my two clients. Most of the tutors I knew were either young people early in their teaching career or SAHMs who used to teach.
Anon says
My kid is actually sick – not like, runny nose sick but won’t-get-out-of-bed-sick – for the first time in years. Covid test was negative. There’s nothing to do except let her rest, right? Should I wake her up to push fluids? I feel bad interrupting her rest, but she hasn’t had anything to drink since like 6 pm last night.
Anon says
Oops, wrong place!
Anonymous says
I used to work at one of those chains and recommend against them. The focus was on demonstrating that kids had made progress through testing and checking off topics and assignments, and I was always frustrated that I didn’t have the freedom to individualize the curriculum to truly meet each student’s needs. You will get much more value out of fewer sessions with a good private tutor. Depending on where you live, it may not even be that expensive. Several of my friends pay $40/hour for math tutoring from a high school calculus teacher. I pay $50/hour for private music lessons with a full professor at a state university. MCOL area in the SEUS. These rates seem crazy low to me, since I paid more for private music and ice skating lessons in two different HCOL areas 20 years ago.
Anonymous says
Sorry, missed that you live in NYC. Tutoring will probably cost you a gazillion dollars an hour, just like everything else in NYC.
AIMS says
Haha, yes. The rate quoted was $125/45 min.
NYCer says
I don’t have personal experience, but know friends who have sent their kids to classes at Book Nook in Manhattan.
Reading in Preschool also offers tutoring to older children I believe.
Anonymous says
How old is she at and what level? If she is a beginning reader, while you’re searching for a tutor you might try the Hooked on Phonics Learn to Read series. It’s sold as a series of kits at varying levels, so you can jump in at any point that’s appropriate for your child. It’s very simple and fun to use with minimal parental involvement. All you have to do is watch a video together and then guide her through a short reading assignment that applies the phonics skills covered in the video. Between Sesame Street and Hooked on Phonics, I joke that the TV taught my kid to read, but I’m not really joking.
AIMS says
Thanks! She’s 6.5 so very early but starting 2nd grade and so needs a little help to catch up to her peers who already turned 7 in the last school year.
Anonymous says
If she needs work on decoding/phonics, I’d definitely try some of the later kits in the series! It won’t help with comprehension if she’s already got phonics down, though.
tesyaa says
Longtime reader on the main page and frequent lurker here. My college grad daughter is a talented, experienced tutor in the NYC area. You can email her directly if you are interested: sareystar at gmail.com
Bette says
I’d honestly create anonymous Facebook profile and join your local neighborhood parents group for this. I’m sure there are people working locally.
I’m in a field where I don’t want personal social media and this is what I’ve done.
Anon says
Or ask a friend to post in the groups for you? I’ve done this for friends that aren’t on FB.
Snoo resale says
Any advice on the best way to sell a Snoo? I’m not on social media and don’t know how Facebook marketplace works, but I’m wondering if that’s the best bet, rather than going the Craigslist route. Are there other options that may be better? In DC, FWIW.
anon says
There’s a very active Buy/Sell group for Snoos on FB. Can a friend who’s on FB post it for you (with your off-FB contact info?) People are generally wary of Craigslist because there are so many scammers.
Anon says
There are Snoo sale sites on facebook. I would probably look for something like “DC Mom to Mom group” on Facebook and post there. What about the DC Urban Parents (?) message board I have a vague recollection of from living there pre-kids?
Anon says
Where you? I’m in Silver Spring and I see people selling them on my neighborhood listserv all the time.
Plane Pumping says
I’m about to travel for the first time while pumping and would be grateful for any advice on all the logistics. It’s a one-night trip and a three-hour flight, so pretty manageable as far as it goes, but it still feels pretty daunting. Tips for the airport/security? Window or aisle for pumping on the plane? I’ll look back at the older posts on this, but I know things may have changed, so I appreciate any words of wisdom!
TheElms says
I would try to get to the airport early and pump before you get on the flight. And then if needed pump at the airport when you land (or if you drive your own car to the airport in your car as you drive home). Pumping on a plane is just not that great because its a really tight space.
If you have to pump in the plane itself I think I would do window seat. Assuming you have a traditional pump and not an Elvie, I’d go to the bathroom and put the flanges on (I really needed to have the flanges centered correctly to make pumping work for me and I don’t think I could do that in a seat without being quite undressed but ymmv), put a poncho style sweater on top, and then go back to your seat and hook up your pump tubes under the poncho. I could probably stay seated to unhook everything and put the milk and pump parts back in the cooler.
HSAL says
I only had to pump while flying once, but for a three hour flight I would just pump immediately before boarding if you can, and then as soon as I got off the plane. Not worth the hassle of doing it on board if you can avoid it. But if you need to do it on the plane, I found aisle preferable. Can’t speak to security because I shipped mine back – highly recommend that, ask your employer if they’ll cover it. It’s expensive but much easier.
Anonymous says
Second the suggestion to pump in the airport just before boarding. I once tried to pump on a cross-country flight and chickened out. Pumping right before gives you more options but still be prepared to do it in-flight if you need to in case your flight is delayed and you’re stuck on board.
In terms of the security line, you are allowed to bring breastmilk on the plane (frozen or unfrozen). Any ice packs have to be completely frozen when you go through security. I would NOT freeze the milk bc breastmilk can last several days without freezing and it’s easier to maintain the fridge temp than to keep it frozen. Then just use it as soon as you get back. TSA should know this and I’ve never had any issues but I always print out the TSA rules before I fly in case they give me a hard time. https://www.tsa.gov/travel/security-screening/whatcanibring/items/breast-milk
DLC says
I always found a manual pump easier for pumping while travelling. (I mean actually travelling. The electric pump was fine once I got to my destination.)
The manual pump was just simpler for set up and maneuvering in small spaces. Also less stressful for me to get through security. It took about ten minutes per side to get a decent session in.
Anonymous says
Just a warning that you should know whether these manual pumps work for your body before trying this. My body does NOT respond to a manual pump at all.
Anon says
Does your airport have Mamava pods? I would look into those or check if the airport has a nursing room. If there’s an airport hotel they may also let you pump there. I’ve never pumped on a plane and would avoid it if possible because it seems like a pain.
anonn says
yes second that TSA is actually pretty good about not bothering you about milk, but make sure ice packs are frozen. if you need to pump on the plane look for open seats and flight attendants have been really helpful about moving me or people next to me so I had more space/privacy to pump. if also recommend a travel drying rack and pump wipes for your hotel room. you might share what airline/airports you’ll be at, the new La Guardia terminal has an amazing mothers room.
anon says
Most airports have Mamava pods or nursing rooms, so I would pump right before getting on the flight, and as soon as you get off. But have the pump handy on the plane in case you get delayed (like if you’re stuck on the tarmac for hours).
I tried to use a service to ship milk home when I was on a 5-day business trip, but UPS lost the packages and they ended up taking 4 days instead of overnight, so I had to throw out the milk. I was pretty sad about that. For a shorter trip I would probably just pump and dump.
I took microwave sterilizing bags and a small thing of dish soap for the pump parts, washed them in the hotel bathroom sink and sterilized them in the microwave. Ask for a microwave for your room, and a fridge if you’re going to take the milk home.
You’ve got this!
Anon says
I like to wear a button up shirt over a nursing tank. I feel like this gives me good coverage without actually using a cover. I have an Elvie Stride, and I find pumping during flights pretty easy (caveat: I’m a cusp size, but I don’t have any challenges fitting comfortably in plane seats. I feel like pumping comfortably would be harder if I was much larger). I use a regular pump at home, but am so glad to have the Elvie for travel. Give yourself plenty of time to get through security.
Waffles says
Does anyone here have a night owl kid? How are you dealing with it?
We say it’s quiet time at 7:30 p.m., and leave our kid to her own devices. She’ll pop out and talk to my partner and me once every so often, but generally, I’ll go to sleep around 9, my partner around 10, and we don’t really know when our kid goes to sleep.
Waffles says
Not electronic devices! She usually just reads, draws, and plays with her toys.
Anonymous says
I have a night owl. We make her stay in bed and only allow books. Drawing and toys are not relaxing enough.
HSAL says
How old? I have a 7 year old that is occasionally up after 9. I always check on the kids before I go to the bedroom and if she’s awake that’s fine, but I won’t go to sleep if my 4 year old twins are still awake for some unholy reason. The oldest knows she has to stay in bed but can read.
Waffles says
She’s six.
Anon says
We just started school and are adjusting, but my low sleep needs, night owl 5YO generally goes to bed between 9 and 10 (as opposed to 10-12 previously) and gets up between 7 and 7:30 (as opposed to 8-8:30 previously). We tuck her in with her tablet around 9, but when she falls asleep it is up to her. If she gets out of bed more than twice, we take the tablet away and switch to playing “grown up music” (i.e., Josh Groban) until she falls asleep. If we fall asleep before she does (rare but happens on occasion; we usually go to sleep around 11 or 11:30), I find her baby monitor, which we leave in her room, helpful for seeing when she actually goes to sleep so I know if she is generally getting enough rest or if we need to push for an earlier bedtime for a few days if she has been fighting sleep at night.
DLC says
My five year old does this once in a while, maybe once or twice a month. He will get up and wanders around the house if he can’t fall asleep. We’ll usually find him asleep on the living room couch in the morning. I don’t usually worry about it because he seems to be pretty good about recognizing when he needs rest and he is in general able to get himself to fall asleep, so I trust when he says he’s not tired. (With my ten year old, however I am more likely to enforce lying in bed and techniques to help her fall asleep, but she seems to be less self aware than the five year old)
Anonymous says
I’m confused by this. Do other people have toys in their kids rooms? When we put our kids to bed, the lights are off and they are not allowed to talk to each other or read. They still get up sometimes if they need to pee or have a bad dream etc. Our line is ‘you need to rest your body even if your mind is staying awake and you need to rest your eyes by keeping your eyelids closed’.
They’d never sleep if they were allowed to read or play. I usually tell them to count to 100 taking a breath before and after each number and then when they get to 100, go backwards.
Anonymous says
We have toys in our kids rooms, they do quiet time in there during the afternoon. But no they’re not allowed to play with them at bedtime. We do a whole house cleanup every night. But I also don’t have a night owl.
Anonymous says
Oh, my philosophy on toys in kids rooms has definitely changed as the kids have gotten older. That was such a lovely quaint policy with one young child and a minimalist mindset, but with two (kid elementary and preK) it is impossible to keep toys out- they just bring them in all the time, plus I don’t have space to store all of their items in the living room- we store most toys behind the couch but the toys ACCUMULATE. And we still have very few toys compared to our kids’ friends!
HSAL says
We definitely have toys in the bedrooms, they’re just not allowed to play with them. Honestly, I don’t think it would even occur to them. I consider reading (book not tablet) a way to wind down and prepare for sleep, just like it is for me. We’ve never had an issue with them looking at books too long – very rarely do they fall asleep reading, the majority of the time they turn their flashlights off when they’re tired and go to sleep.
SC says
What time does she wake up? My son is 7, and bedtime is a little later… we start the bedtime routine at 7:30-7:45, and lights out is 8:30-8:45. He wakes up at 6:30.
My son has a separate play room, so his room just has bunk beds, a dresser, stuffed animals, and books. As long as Kiddo’s in his room, I don’t try to control what he does after I tuck him in for the night. Often he goes right to sleep (I think), sometimes he plays with his stuffed animals, and sometimes he reads. We often don’t know exactly when he goes to sleep–we lay down and read or watch tv as soon as he goes to bed. About once or twice a week, he comes and finds us if he really can’t sleep, and we re-settle him and tuck him back in. He has a book light clipped onto his bottom bunk, but he seems to be able to turn it off and go to sleep when he’s tired.
Isabella says
Thank goodness for a better night sleep! I think it was probably mostly coincidence, because the changes were a random potpourri of what seemed doable.
-A big dinner. Kid ate most of a pureed zucchini plus cereal. Plus nursing before and after solids.
-No rocking at bedtime, although we still sat in the glider and sang lullabies and nurses. I think he noticed the change, because he fussed more and longer, but it was not bad.
-Winter-weight wearable blanket. This was just because of a laundry problem, but maybe it helped? Maybe the AC is too cold for him?
-He really got the hang of crawling yesterday. All the crazy daytime whining stopped too, thankfully!
We didn’t need to do any version of CIO because he just woke up once and went right back to sleep once I got him what he needed. I know we’re not finished with sleep issues forever, but with nine good hours under my belt I feel so much more able to cope!
GCA says
Sorry you’re dealing with unpredictable baby sleep, and glad you got some good sleep last night! Honestly, sometimes my first kid would wake up if you looked at him funny; that whole first year was hard for us. You can pull out all the stops trying to figure out what combination of variables best supports sleep, but it’s really challenging because your sample size is 1 and your subject is constantly changing as they grow. I had a really bad sleeper first, and my mantra was ‘tomorrow is another day’.
Anonymous says
The crawling is huge! My baby became so much happier the instant she learned to crawl. I think she was just so frustrated not being able to move around on her own that it made her fussy all the time. As soon as she had the ability to go where she wanted when she wanted, she became much more content. She also wore herself out crawling around all day at day care, which helped with eating and sleep. I hope works out similarly for you and your baby.
Isabella says
I agree it was huge. I think that’s probably what made the difference, not anything I did or didn’t do! And so exciting and adorable too…
Anon says
it’s the cutest. i loved the crawling stage and building towers for DD to crawl and knock down. she’d be so proud of herself!
buffybot says
I feel like there’s been a flurry of posts about slightly older kids (mine is 4.5) having sleep problems, so I am adding mine to the pile. Little dude has gotten into a habit of coming into our bed in the middle of the night every night and it’s killing us, but I’m not quite sure how to re-sleep train a preschooler. We can get him to sleep in his own bed with a combination of prep work and threats, but then he periodically screams for one of us to come lay with him for some period of time, sometimes multiple times a night. He says he is “scared” and sometimes there may be actual nightmares. What would you do? We’ve talked about what to do when you are scared – hug a stuffie, think of nice things, I leave the lights slightly on, monster spray, etc. We’re right next door. He says he knows that the things he is scared of aren’t real/aren’t in his room, but “I still feel scared, Mommy.” Hard to argue with. His dad has insomnia, so maybe this is just his sleep pattern? But OMG I need a full night’s sleep. Thoughts? Winning strategies?
Anon says
i’ve been one of those sleep posters with a 4 year old. here is what we have done with varying success:
– kid never sleeps in our room, we always walk kid back to her room, which yes we’ve had some very exhausting nights with 5+ wake ups
– got kiddo a dream catcher to ‘catch’ her bad dreams
– got kiddo a weighted blanket
– bribed kiddo and said she can have a mini marshmallow in the morning if she doesn’t get up (i HATE doing a food bribe, but i desperately need the sleep)
– tell kiddo he/she is welcome to come and sleep on our floor in a sleeping bag, but cannot scream to wake us up
So Anon says
One thought – I put a sleeping bag next to my bed when my kids were that age. If they wanted to come in, they could do so but they needed to snuggle in to their sleeping bag and not wake me up. I still do this with my kids when they go through these stretches.
Anonymous says
This is the strategy I’d try.
Anonymous says
+1 this is what we do that pleases everyone. Kiddo is 5. He just went through a phase of coming in every night but seems to be through it now that kindergarten has started.
Anon says
this is maybe mean to sibling, but do you have another kid? when we put our kids together one who tended to be scared in the night was much happier.
Anon says
DD (5) is like this. DH also wakes up multiple times during the night and always has even as a kid, so some of it I think is just ingrained sleep pattern. The fear is real, so after trying all the things like you, we just let her crawl in with us because that results in the most sleep for most number of people (both DH and I can fall back asleep pretty easily if we don’t get out of bed or turn on a light, but if we do, we’re up for hours). I need sleep, so she now knows she has to either crawl in with DH on his side (without waking me up) or sleep in the sleeping bag on the floor of our room. In your case, I would push the sleeping bag option since it sounds like your bed isn’t working. Solidarity. I take comfort in that she will not still be sleeping with us when she goes to college and time cures many ills.
buffybot says
Thanks all! Sounds like the sleeping bag might be the way to go. Tired of being at the mercy of a large kid who likes to lay perpendicular in the bed (and then flop back and forth like a fish).
Anonymous says
We let them crawl in bed for a short cuddle and then they have to go back to bed. At age 4 I’d probably tuck them in but at age 8 usually a short cuddle is enough and usually only if they’ve had a bad dream or something.
Anon says
Honestly when I’m just trying to maximize my own sleep I either
– ask my husband deal with it, or
– let kiddo get into our bed and then go sleep in their bed once they fall asleep.
Am I setting them up with bad habits? Maybe. But they will have to move out at some point.
Anonymous says
Definitely get your DH to deal with it at least some of the time. DH and I have assigned nights that we are ‘on duty’ for wakeful kids. Unless it’s like stomach flu ravaging the house and an all hand on deck situation. On my ‘off’ nights I sleep with an eye mask and ear plugs. It’s a set schedule so kids know whose side of the bed to go for to get help most nights.
Anon says
My 4.5 year old went through a phase a few months ago where she couldn’t sleep on her own. It was similar to your kid – she understood that the things she was scared of were not real but she still felt scared. We tried a lot of things and when none of it was working we just let her sleep in our bed from the beginning. It was the easiest way for us all to get sleep, and sleep for both my kid and myself is really, really important to me. She eventually went back to sleeping in her bed (although she still asks for us to leave the door cracked open – we close it once she’s asleep) and it doesn’t appear to have caused any long term issues.
anon says
I’m trying to figure out how to connect with an ASD family member who doesn’t feel cared about in our relationship. Specifically, we got in a fight because I don’t ask “how are you”, but then when I do ask, they ignore the question or say “you don’t really want to know the answer”, and the ongoing issue goes beyond that one fight. We still text a lot but since I had a baby I don’t have much time for phone calls. I try to find memes and articles related to their deep interests. And I enjoy talking about it, but it seems like any chunk of time less than an hour or two just leads to more hurt feelings when I have to end the conversation.
I want to show love in a way they understand. I know there’s no code to crack that applies to everyone with ASD, but can anyone help me brainstorm?
Anonymous says
Is the family member self-aware enough to have this conversation with you?
anon says
Yes and no. We have the conversation but the things they ask me to do end up not helping at all.
Anon says
Would they appreciate little trinkets, like stickers or figurines? It’s a physical reminder, so maybe it would help? My nephew is obsessed with anime and really likes getting Japanese snacks.
anon says
Yes, actually. Which reminds me I have some things to put in the mail! Thanks.
Anon says
My kid is actually sick – not like, runny nose sick but won’t-get-out-of-bed-sick – for the first time in years. Covid test was negative. There’s nothing to do except let her rest, right? Should I wake her up to push fluids? I feel bad interrupting her rest, but she hasn’t had anything to drink since like 6 pm last night.
Anonymous says
If my kid were sick and I woke her up to make her drink, she would just scream at me and refuse to drink.
OP says
Yeah, that’s probably what my kid would do too. I’ll just let her sleep. I forgot what having an actually sick kid is like! We’ve only had colds since Covid started.
DLC says
I let my kid rest and leave them alone- leave a bottle of water next to bed. We have a bell that we give them and they ring it if they need anything.
Anon says
How old is your child? Is she completely listless? Can you wake her up if you try? Is this very out of the ordinary for her?
I personally would check in and offer fluids every couple hours during the day. If she is young and is completely listless/hard to wake up I would definitely consult the pediatrician. Better safe than sorry. She may end up needing fluids if she completely refuses to drink. If she is older, you may be able to follow her lead a bit more.
Anon says
She’s 4. We tried to wake her up at 8:30 to go to school. She had her eyes open and was talking normally, didn’t seem delirious or anything like that, but basically refused to move. She was also complaining her stomach hurt. We let her go back to sleep and we haven’t heard a peep since then and it’s been 3 hours. This is definitely unusual but like I said in the last few years we’ve mostly only had colds that didn’t really make her sick, beyond sneezing and a runny nose.
Anon says
I would try to wake her, get fluids in her and call the pediatrician. When we had something similar, our ped did a videochat so he could at least see her demeanor over the phone. If she is difficult to rouse, listless even once awake, disoriented, “not herself” then get to urgent care or ER (recommend looking for a pediatric version of each if possible). If she seems normal but sleepy, get fluids in her and send her back to bed and monitor again in a few hours. We were able to get enough fluids in our kid that we avoided a visit, but we were about an hour away from making the drive before she finally accepted fluids. All fluids count too, so grapes, watermelon, popsicles, gatorade, pedialyte, sprite, lemonade, etc.
Anonymous says
Have you called her doctor? When you child is sick, in an out of the ordinary way. Ask the pediatrician not the internet.
GCA says
Is she running a fever? My kid had the flu a couple months ago and he was pretty listless and feverish, but eating and drinking at least a little, for close to a week. We basically let him just lie on the couch and read/ watch tv/ doze off. All the at-home Covid tests came back negative, so after a couple days of fever we took him to the doctor and he tested positive for influenza. By the time the test came back, I don’t know that Tamiflu would have helped, we had to let it run its course.
Maybe Lonely? says
Talk to me about maintaining friendships in a period with young kids. Or making them or deepening them! We have four kids and both work fulltime, so free time is limited. But realized yesterday through another friend’s blooper that we’re not invited to a party this weekend she assumed we’d be invited to. When i thought about it, I didn’t really expect to be – but would have been really happy if I was! So it’s less that I was hurt about not being included and more sad about it. And I’m not sure what to do? I think we’re nice people. We try to invite other couples to do things whenever we do have the opportunity. We’re in a short term rental now so can’t throw a dinner party or host that way, but we do our best. I try to ask questions of people when we’re together and hear about what’s going on with them. DH is an introvert, but I think he’s awesome. I say “we” because it feels like most things happen as a couple these days and honestly DH is maybe the weak link here – he’s from elsewhere, we both went to school elsewhere, we’re in an industry town where we aren’t in the industry, etc. But if you know him, you’d like him!
Not sure what I’m asking here. Maybe I need to go borrow how to win friends and influence people or something like that. I grew up in our city but went to college and grad school elsewhere so none of my friends from that period of my life live here and I guess I’m lonely? So give me any tricks you have!
We’ve made some new friends through kids school and sports, but that route also feels out of my control because we’re getting to the point where they might be put on a sports team or into a class without the kids they like/whose parents we like (story of the fall) and then we have to start all over.
ANon says
i have realized that while yes, some people are hanging out with each other all the time, many others are also busy, so while not perfect, i try to text fairly frequently and remember important things. like one friend’s kid started K this week, another’s started preschool for the first time, etc. so i texted to wish good luck/see how they went. none of my college gfs live here and we have a text chain and try to have ‘phone dates.’ it also takes two, so some of my friends are better at it than others. i am often the initiator, which i do sometimes feel bad about and wish people reached out to me more, but i guess it is better than feeling lonely
Anon says
Man, I think you’re doing amazing if you have four kids and have any social life at all. I have one kid and we very rarely socialize with other adults except at kid events. DH has a sport with a bunch of other guys, and I have several close friends from college I text and email with regularly (not local to me), but otherwise all of our interaction with other adults is through our kid. But I’m an introvert and don’t feel like I need more socializing.
Anon says
+1. I see localish (we’re all within about 30 minutes of each other) high school friends usually every other month (sometimes with kids or spouses, sometimes without; our kids are 5 (mine), 3 and 1). I have a good friend who lives about 15 minutes away whose kids are slightly older than mine (actually wife of DH’s friend but now she and I are closer than they are) and we get together, usually with kids about once a month but she recently went back to night grad school so it has been less often. I have work friends that fill my social bucket too. I just met another mom at the bus stop this week who is new to our neighborhood and am going to try to figure out how to connect with her because it seems like we might click and would be nice to have someone that close.
Cb says
It’s hard. We moved during the pandemic, I work away, we don’t have local family, so we’ve had to be pretty up front about wanting friends, telling parents who seem cool that we’d like to hang out etc.
We have some new friends who were unabashed about their desire for friendship, ie. they treated us to coffee after we dropped off kids on the first day of school, and said “you can treat next time, I’m sure we’ll do this again!” It’s not a super British approach, but it seems to be working.
startup lawyer says
i see single/childfree friends a lot less but husband and i take turns going out solo with friends.
As a couple, we mostly socialize with kid’s parents.
Anon says
I would guess there actually are good opportunities to start with just other women and then expand to be couples friends. Can you get away for a monthly book club or something like that? I think having a regular meeting on the schedule helps a lot with getting to know people and then it’s easier to expand outside those regular meetings/start meeting up with SOs too.
anonM says
+1. My friend started a First Fridays women’s gathering and invited a variety of friends. Now just a few months in the four of us who routinely go have gotten close, including the one who I didn’t know at all before this. It gives it consistency for scheduling, both for us and for our partners/sitters. We meet at a local restaurant that we pick out via text the week before, so no one has to host.
OP says
I’m a huge reader, so actually making a book club happen is a great idea. I probably need to just pull it together and put myself out there.
All of these comments are helpful so thank you all! I also felt kind of embarrassed? But realizing I’m definitely not the only one who feels this way is nice.
DLC says
I organize a monthly happy hour with some women I met when my kid was born. I fully recognize that if I didn’t make the effort to send the doodle poll for dates and make the restaurant reservation we would probably never meet because everyone is busy. I don’t resent having to be the one making the effort because I love seeing these women and everyone always has a good time. (One person calls me the Mom’s Group Mom).
I highly encourage people to take the initiative to thow a net!
Cb says
I read this today and it was really lovely, but also jarring, the amount of time necessary to establish a new frinedship
https://niacarnelio.substack.com/p/do-you-have-90-hours-to-be-regular?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email
But also heartening, how much of a difference a text makes!
Anon says
Oh- that’s fascinating! It makes sense to me too- my current group of adult friends are people I went on a yoga retreat with.
DLC says
Does anyone have their kids pack their own lunches? I’ll have two kids in elementary school this year and would love to have them pack their own lunches and take it off my plate. Any tips and strategies?
Our oldest (fifth grader) often just throws leftovers in a container, but I feel like the five year old needs a little more structure.
Allie says
My 3.5 year old does heavily supervised. I insist on a carb, fruit and protein in her bento lunch box but she can pick anything she wants within those constraints. It’s a bit time-consuming but she eats way more of her lunch when she picks it.
Anon says
I’m so impressed you can get a 3.5 year old to pack lunch. My 4.5 year old won’t get herself dressed.
Anonymous says
My 3 year old would just pack teddy grahams and maybe a banana!
EP-er says
We do and have for several years, starting maybe in 1st grade? I think that this might be hard for a 5 year old, but we give guidelines: one main (PB&J/cheese & crackers/leftover pasta), one “snack” (pretzels/nuts/cheese/yogurt,) at least one fruit/veggie, and (optional) juice box. It might be good to do it together for a while the night before if you are worried about the mornings. Or check how the lunch looks after they are done for a while. You can have clearly labeled bins to pick from. Something like “meal prepping” lunch, where the veggies are cut and in individual containers for the week. Once they get the hang of it, it really is great!
Anon says
Yes, but starting in first. And we just did PB&J every day! They can jazz things up if they wish – throw in some banana slices, why not! But in first we kept it easy.
Anon says
I made a chart (an excel chart, but if you want the 5YO to do it themselves I would suggest pictures) for my kindergartner based on what she will eat and our current groceries. For snack she has to pick two items from the snack list plus a “snack fruit” (it is a substantial afternoon snack because she eats lunch at 10:45 but the bus drops her home at 5PM). For lunch she has to pick a main dish (peanut butter sandwich, chicken tenders, rice bowl, hot dog, mac and cheese), at least one side (yogurt, chips, veggie straws, fruit snacks, crackers), a “lunch fruit”, a drink (chocolate milk, juice pouch or water) and a dessert (mini oreos, mini nilla wafers or chocolate pudding). Her fruit menu (can’t be the same for snack and lunch) is grapes, nectarines, apples, applesauce or cherries, although practically speaking everything except apples and applesauce is aspirational. It means that I can mindlessly assemble lunches when I am otherwise in the kitchen in the evening and I sit her down and make her choose off the menu, and because the menu is already pre-decided, it reduces a lot of battles. Then I put the lunch box in the fridge, leave out a thermos if I am assembling something hot in the morning for her main, and mornings require no thought.