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I love the idea of a food gift for Father’s Day. Not only does this sandwich kit look mouth watering, but there’s enough for six servings, so hopefully you’ll get a taste too! I love how this is the classic “burnt end” BBQ, but with pastrami seasoning. To use an Ina Garten quote, “How good is THAT?” I have it on good authority (my sister) that this sandwich tastes delicious. If BBQ isn’t your giftee’s thing, then Goldbelly has a huge selection of indulgent sweets that I can barely resist ordering on a daily basis. This is my new favorite window shopping to do! This sandwich kit is $99. Pastrami Burnt End Sandwich Kit
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Cb says
Just a quick thank you for this community. Week 12 of lockdown has broken me. Today, I started crying because I was so frustrated. I logged onto my computer after lunch and read all of yesterday’s ‘children’s books we hate’ comments and laughed so hard I cried again.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, CB, totally understandable at this point. This situation is so difficult and unsustainable. I’m not sure what the status of daycares is in Scotland but any chance you can have a sitter come for a few hours in the mornings? We just started with a nanny share for a few hours in the morning and the effect on our mental health has been tremendous.
Great thread yesterday too!
Cb says
Thanks! Nursery definitely won’t open up until the 11th of August at the earliest, and unclear whether it would be part or full-time care. My husband is in the office 1 day a week (busy government building with crap social distancing) so our family exposure is higher than those fully WFH but I might see if someone would be comfortable with that. His second favourite nursery teacher lives nearby and might take him for a bit.
We had a Zoom call yesterday with his first favourite teacher and she was talking about what they’d do when they got back to nursery and he said ‘I will just sit next to you and play trucks with you all day long!’
Pogo says
Aw, glad our comments could cheer you up! We have a date (SOON) for ours opening and I have a whole new lease on life. LO is talking constantly about all the toys he will play with when they go back (our daycare has a bunch of those little cars that until recently I didn’t know were called “Cozy Coupes”, and he’s obsessed with them). Things will be different – drop off protocol, masks, etc – but I think kids are more resilient than we give them credit for.
Also, one of his best buds potty-trained during the quarantine so I’ve been talking that up big time. “You know E will be using the potty when you go back, right? Do you think you’d like to use the potty, too?” lol. We will see…
Cb says
Oh T has ‘brown bunny, the softest bunny in the whole world’ which luckily his teacher brought home from nursery and joins us on Zoom. But I imagine bunny won’t be back as he can’t be sanitized. We might have to bring him home to foster him.
Anonymous says
100% you need to start asking people for care. You cannot keep doing this through mid-August.
Clementine says
That was a great thread. I hide books that I hate reading. We’re gonna make it through this.
My daycare was initially going to open up on the first day most area daycares were opening… but after sending around a parent survey, they pushed it 4 weeks. I was planning on waiting a few weeks to send the kiddo, but now: I think I’m going to give them 2 days to iron out their procedures and then go for it. The kid who’s daycare is opening (because right now everyone is in a different setting…) is my kid who requires the most vigilance as kiddo is full on in toddler rambo mode and leaves a flat out path of destruction.
Pogo says
omg “toddler rambo mode”. this is us too.
Anon says
I’m pregnant for the first time and I have a type-A personality so I find myself obsessively learning everything I can about being pregnant, labor, raising a baby, etc. I know this probably isn’t healthy. I mean, how many women before the internet had healthy babies?! I just can’t stop looking at information though. It’s like I’m addicted. I’m trying to prepare for every possible scenario. My biggest problem is I am on several baby bump threads on reddit and while I’ve learned some great information, it’s also just overwhelming and is taking it’s toll on my mental health. Any tips to just relax and let go?
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’m a Type A, (recovering) perfectionist too who loves a good list for work and home projects. Having kids is certainly an exercise in letting go of control! I have to constantly remind myself that my children are their own people and are not projects that I can “succeed at” by following certain rules – they are human beings with whom I’m trying to form a relationship. Try your best to stop reading those threads and social media and anything else that is stressing you out. You’ll have a million challenges with kids and there’s no point in trying to plan for them now. Just come back here when your baby’s born and he/she won’t sleep or won’t eat or whatever else and this community will offer some great advice!
Anonymous says
Therapy. I know I know but anxiety is brutal.
Anonanonanon says
I’m very type-A and can be obsessive about things as well, so I feel you.
I had to ask myself what sources I was willing to trust. Bump message boards and threads were not a trustworthy source of information for me. Some really good, data-driven books were recommended here that helped.
How far along are you? Can you channel the energy away from the pregnancy itself and into other things that are pregnancy-adjacent and a bit more “fun”? Planning your maternity wardrobe, researching strollers and cribs and car seats (if that is fun and not anxiety-inducing), mapping out how to prepare your job to do without you for 12 weeks when you’re out, identifying and prioritizing small household fixes or improvements that need to be done before the baby comes (otherwise, it will be at least a year after they’re born before you can get back to those!), looking for other ways to make your life easier as your pregnancy progresses (what is the best robotic vacuum for your needs and price range? research it and see if you want one!), is the room that will be the nursery currently something else? Is it time to start cleaning it out?
I don’t think people like us are able to get rid of the nervous energy, but we can choose where to direct it!
AnonATL says
I was obsessed with checking data and reading things in my first trimester. It was my way of coping with the anxiety and fear of miscarriage. Once I had that 12w ultrasound and heard his heart beating and then got the results back from the genetic testing at like 14w, it was smooth sailing for me. There are still smaller moments of panic occasionally, but no full blown anxiety spirals.
I agree you should take that extra energy and need to control and put it toward other baby-centric things in your life. Research the heck out of strollers and cribs and other fun baby stuff. Get your home tidy and organized. Read the evidence based books like Expecting Better and maybe even some infant care ones.
Wade carefully into the fitness/food/personal care products research because there is so much conflicting information (see again Expecting better up above).
At the end of the day you need to have medical caregivers you trust and that align with your pregnancy goals. That makes a big difference when you are overthinking things or may get news that you have little control over.
Good luck and congratulations!
Anonanonanon says
Expecting Better is what I was trying to remember the title of!
And 100% agree, if you’re a Type A/Planner, the first trimester is hard anxiety-wise because you want to PLAN EVERYTHING for the rest of the pregnancy but aren’t 100% it’s going to stick, and there is really not much you can do about that, so your head goes around and around in circles. It did seem to calm down in second trimester for me with both pregnancies.
AnonATL says
Shout out to the lesser known Informed Parent that is very similar to expecting better, but goes through like age 5ish. I know Emily Oster also has Crib Sheet which seems to be well liked, but I have not read it yet.
Anon says
You can research all you want, but you will still be Googling tons of concerns you’d never considered and that weren’t mentioned in books in the first year after you had your baby. You don’t have to be an expert. You can always call your doctor or pediatrician for well-reasoned advice or ask friends or family. There’s only so much you can do to prepare. Parenthood is on the job training. Read what you can now to enjoy and learn and appreciate each stage, not to try to control all possible outcomes.
OP says
Thanks all for the replies and suggestions–they are all really helpful. I am still early in the first trimester and have my first appointment on Monday. I will be sure to bring up anxiety with my doctor.
Anonymous says
After a certain point you’ll start seeing the same info again and know you’ve reached the end! :). I did like my bumper group on reddit, they are all pretty laid back, but I know it varies a lot.
TheElms says
Also Type A, also read lots about everything as a way of dealing with the lack of control during pregnancy. I don’t necessarily think its a bad idea. I would try to put the knowledge in a useful format,however, which I didn’t do a great job of doing. I think it also gives the knowledge acquisition an end point because you have something to show for it on a topic. For example, I researched stuff about prenatal testing and what I should have done was make a list of questions to ask my doctor about the options, and what the results might mean. I researched registry items and set up my registry (initially with multiple options for each item and then winnowed down to what I really wanted). I researched post-partum supplies and made a list of stuff to get before I gave birth and have on hand for the first couple weeks. I researched toys and made lists (those came in handy in the chaos that was the lead up to Christmas which was shortly after I returned to work). For reasons I don’t understand, I never researched baby schedules / feeding and that was a bit jarring. Also, I will say it was fine. I don’t think my copious research on any topic resulted in a better outcome, but it was a way of managing all the unknown. And often all it did was give me options to try when an issue did arise. And it was helpful to the extent it showed the enormous variability in pregnancies and births and how infants are. So when my kiddo did something weird it didn’t seem that weird in light of all the other things I’d read about people’s kids doing.
Lana Del Raygun says
Don’t start with the emotions; start with the behavior. You have to just cut yourself off from reddit and whatever else is fueling your worries, then let the anxiety die down naturally. It’s like removing the oxygen from a fire. I’m not saying this is guaranteed to solve the problem entirely but it’s absolutely the foundation. Congratulations!!!
ALC says
Any suggestions on how to find a nanny/babysitter until our daycare opens up (which is looking like… not for a while)? We have no local family, and were only at daycare a few months before it shut down so we don’t have contact info for the teachers there.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We had good luck with care.com – got lots of applications and did zoom interviews for top candidates. My town also has a fb babysitting/nanny group where people post needs as well as candidates posting. The summer is a good time to find college sitters who are home from school.
anon says
Agreed. In a big city in Texas, FWIW.
Anonymous says
If your big city happens to be Austin, there is a Facebook nanny group and people posting for this get a lot of responses.
anon says
+1 to both of these, I used both care dot com to search as well as my city’s FB “nanny phonebook” and ended up finding our nanny on the latter. It’s a great resource.
Anon says
We found one on care.com but my area also does a pretty brisk business via a “babysitter’s club of the area” facebook community.
NYCer says
Is there a moms group on facebook for your area? We did not find our nanny that way, but many of my friends did.
Anonymous says
You could reach out to the center director, too. Our director has reached out on our behalf in the past and only passed on the info of teachers that wanted to share.
Redux says
It’s our first year in school (what a way to start!) and so having no experience with this in normal times, let along these times, i’m looking for ideas for an end-of-the-year gift for our kindergarten teacher. She is driving to each kid’s house to bring us a gift so we will get to see her in person. Ideas?
CCLA says
Gift card and a heartfelt note, rather than physical gifts. My sister is a K teacher and those are the things she prefers. Even a $10 gift card to target, where she buys a lot of school supplies, is preferable for her vs the dozenth [mug/candle/lotion]. Possible exception for high quality things where even if she already owns one, having multiple might not be bad (hydroflask, LL bean tote, etc….which will probably get used rather than tossed like most dollar store gifts, though still probably not be as useful to her as a gift card).
And to be clear, she is very grateful to just be recognized by the parents as I’m sure your teacher will be. My sis always appreciates the gestures even if they are more mugs! Just practically speaking, those usually get tossed.
Anonanonanon says
As I’ve mentioned a few times here, I took the LSAT and applied to part-time law school. LSAT scores were released June 5 and my full report went to the school June 9 AND IT FEELS LIKE IT HAS BEEN FOREVER I AM DYING TO KNOW IF I GOT IN! I only applied to one school, my LSAT score is 14 points above their median and, based on their last ABA disclosure, would likely be the highest of the incoming class. However, my undergrad GPA is not great, like… possibly the lowest of their incoming class not great. I had an addendum (it was due to a medical issue that is now able to be controlled thanks to advancements in biologics and old-fashioned immunosuppressants!) but still… yikes!
Anyway, I have not felt this kind of anxiety/impatience in a very very long time, and it stinks it’s during a time when there is very little I can do to distract myself! My husband, poor man, is very much the “why would you obsess over it when obsessing over it won’t change anything” type (which I envy), so I’m sure he’s sick of me wondering already.
Back to obsessively staring at my phone, email, mailbox, passing pigeons, and any other communication channel I can think of.
mclawyer says
I remember this feeling. I had the feeling again waiting for bar results, and semester grades… and job applications haha! I wish you the best of luck.
I’m not sure if it’s still around, but when I started law school in 2015 Top Law School Forums had a “what are my chances” forum where you give your stats (as an annon) and get reassurance about your LSAT and GPA from current law students/admissions people/alumni at your top choices. If I remember correctly from reading those forums, law schools are more receptive to admitting “splitters” (low GPA high LSAT) than “reverse splitters.”
Anonanonanon says
Thank you for the commiseration! Most schools have extended their application deadlines into July and seem to be aggressively recruiting, so hopefully, whatever is going on with the current applicant pool will work in my favour!
Anonymous says
I was a splitter, although less extreme, I think my GPA was at the 25th percentile of the law school I attended. I had a hard major at a hard school, which was largely the cause of my lowish GPA, and I have always been good at standardized tests. My law school GPA was much higher. Law schools do tend to admit splitters, because the light LSAT score really helps their ranking.
Diaper backpack? says
Anyone have a backpack style diaper bag they love? Expecting our second in a couple of months, and with a not-yet-2 year old, I’m realizing that our over the shoulder style skip hop bag is not going to cut it.
Then again, if we never go anywhere again we won’t need a diaper bag….
Anon says
We just used a backpack we had around already (one of the ubiquitous Jansport ones) with a diaper changing pouch that we could easily pull out when needed. When we were feeling especially organized or were going out for a whole day, we’d add pouches/bags for spare outfits, toys, and snacks, but otherwise just tossed all those things in loose.
Realist says
+1. Get a regular backpack and pick it out with DH if you both expect to wear it. We used a Northface one. None of the baby specific ones had everything we wanted (the only big plus with the baby models is when they had a pocket that made wipes accessible from the side of the backpack, but it is not that hard to keep wipes where they are easy to grab). We wanted something we could keep using after the baby stage.
anon says
We bought an Under Armour Hustle backpack for a trip, and we never switched back to the skip hop over-the-shoulder bag. It’s lightweight and water resistant. It has lots of different compartments. It wasn’t terribly expensive. We’ve taken it pretty much everywhere with backup entertainment, changing pad, change of clothes, snacks, etc. Now that Kiddo is 5, we use it for the whole family’s gear. We’ve had it about 3 years, and there are no signs of wear and tear.
CCLA says
Around the same point as you, we switched to a jujube XY line backpack. DH and I both use it comfortably. It’s in great shape after almost 2 years of use every weekend. That said, since we use a skiphop changing station, all of the diaper bag-specific features in the backpack like wipes holders were not really important. We just need something with a few pockets and side holders for bottles/sippy cups so if you have something like that already it would probably work just as well.
AnotherAnon says
I really like my nylon skiphop diaper bag backpack (to the point where I briefly tried to carry it as my purse), but I only have one kid. I think it would hold enough supplies for two kids, depending on their age difference.
Emily S. says
As a counter point, I kept using our skip hop shoulder bag with two, because I needed constant easy access to the pockets on the front (keys, phone, pacis, etc) and the cup holders on the side. I could wear it crossbody and slide it to my waist or my lower back if I was carrying a baby on my hip, and wear it with a baby Bjorn. I had a petunia pickle bottom backpack that I thought I would love but actually hated.
Anonanonanon says
While I haven’t been impressed with the quality of their leather products, I got a Lo & Sons black hanover backpack made out of recycled water bottles or something a few years ago that was AMAZING as a diaper bag when necessary. The fact it was solid black and did not have a logo meant I sometimes used it for commuting as well. It has a removable insert/organizer with compartments, pockets, etc. to keep work items or baby items easily organized. It was gender-neutral enough that my husband and I each felt comfortable wearing/carrying it.
It looks like there is now a “Hanover 2” or “Hanover deluxe”, and what I got is most similar to the “Hanover 2”. I like the sleek look it has vs. the potentially-bulky outside pocket of the deluxe. When I used it for occasional train commuting, I would take my usual work bag but have extra chargers, winter gear, headphones for the train, heels to change into, base layer leggings to change into if applicable, kleenex, etc. in the backpack so my other bag could stay organized.
Pump recommendations says
What pump did you use? Did you love it, hate it, neutral?
First baby is due in October. I plan to nurse whenever possible but also want baby to be comfortable taking bottles from dad, nanny, etc. In case it’s relevant, I work from home full-time, so concerns about pump being noisy or taking up a ton of space are probably slightly less relevant than they would be if I was in an office.
Related – if you also WFH full-time and have a nanny or au-pair, what did you do when baby was hungry during work hours? Bottle or nurse if you weren’t otherwise occupied (on a call etc)?
Lana Del Raygun says
I had a Spectra and an Ameda, and mostly used the Spectra. It really is “whisper quiet,” and even when I was totally by myself, using the Ameda was like being shouted at continuously by a goblin. (It didn’t help that it sounded like “BREAST pump BREAST pump BREAST pump!”)
I would say overall I am neutral on the Spectra, which is positive *for a pump* haha. I’m never going to like pumping but it performed very well and being able to adjust the frequency as well as the suction power was very useful.
Anon says
I did not enjoy pumping (but did it for 6 months after I went back to work anyways, and then nursed until kiddo was 16 months). That being said, I preferred the Spectra (S2 I think – the one that plugs in) to my Medela PISA. It was quieter (truly – I could pump while on calls and no one could hear – and yes, I asked a few trusted colleagues to confirm) and more comfortable to use with slightly higher milk production (not a huge difference like others have referenced). I felt better about the “closed system”, although I never got condensation in my medela tubes that would lead to a concern about mold. I kept the spectra at work and the medela at home. Downside is that parts for the spectra were more expensive and at that time harder to find (kiddo is almost 3 now) – I think at least now the number of places that carry parts has increased remarkably. On days I did WFH (one day a week) I would nurse rather than pump while at home (a big motivating factor for me in wanting to have that one day at home). With respect to taking bottles, per my LC’s advice, we started giving kiddo a bottle 1-2x a week at around 3 weeks to get her used to it and know how to drink from a bottle for when I went back to work at 5 months.
Anon says
I have the Spectra S2 and liked it enough to get a second new one through insurance for my second baby (that’s about as ringing an endorsement as you will get for a breast pump).
I’m still on leave with #2 but for my first, I WFH 1-2 days/week with a nanny. My preference was to nurse the baby if my schedule allowed and I usually blocked off a few short chunks of time each WFH day to allow for that. Nursing for me was much more efficient than pumping, so this actually saved me time. I did keep a small supply of frozen breast milk as well, in case Nanny needed to feed the baby when I was occupied. It worked well for us.
Anon says
With my first baby I had a Medela Sonata, which was great. With my 2nd (8mo), I’ve been working from home with a nanny because of the pandemic, and for me, not having to pump at all is the best part! Personally I’d rather nurse during a conference call than pump during one. The nanny just texts me when he’s hungry, brings him to where I’m working, and then grabs him when I’m done. As someone else said, this is so much faster than pumping, especially with no cleanup.
Anon says
I have the pink Spectra. It’s fine, I’ve heard it’s one of the better pumps. I wish I had the blue one, though. I really underestimated the value of not having to plug it in. I also work from home and the nanny feeds the baby, but I also didn’t return until after 6 months so if I had returned sooner I may have fed when the baby was small.
Anon says
And FWIW, I don’t pump on calls because I don’t want people to hear it. Maybe mine is louder than everyone else’s?
AnonLawyer says
I kind of figure that if anyone hears anything, they will assume it’s random background static. God knows there’s plenty of that on conference calls.
AnonLawyer says
I have the Spectra and one of the wireless pumps that slips into your bra, the Elvie. The first was covered by insurance and the second I bought used for $300. New it’s like $500. The Spectra works well like everyone says. The Elvie is a million times better in that you can actually do things and move around without accidentally untethering yourself and being enraged. And also you feel less like a dairy cow and more like a human being. Obviously not cheap but I don’t regret it (and I also work from home). That said, the Elvie is still kind of buggy – I’m sure it’ll be better in ten years – and it still kind of annoys me sometimes. Also some people don’t get as much yield on it, though its been fine for me. The other one like that is called the Willow.
At the beginning of Covid, I worked from my parents’ house so my mom could watch the baby (I’m a single mom). The baby absolutely would not take a bottle if she knew i was in the house, and their house is small enough that even if I was in a room with the door closed, she could hear me. She also learned to make her hungry cry to be brought to me when she wasn’t actually hungry, which was pretty cute but not that conducive to productivity. Anyway, now I drop her off and go home. But nursing was the only workable thing while I was there and I absolutely nursed her while on calls.
Anonymous says
I’m a little late but I’ve used three pumps: Spectra (the one that is rechargeable), Medela PISA, and Ameda Platinum (hospital grade rental). Beware those like Spectra that call themselves ‘hospital grade’ – that term is meaningless and they are not the same as the rentals.
Of those, I hated the PISA compared to the other two. It was much “tuggier” is the best way to describe it. I had less control over the specs and not that any pump feels good necessarily, the others were better. From the other two, I would get the Spectra unless/until someone tells you to consider a hospital pump. I could pay to upgrade the insurance-covered option to get the one that was rechargeable and it was worth it for me. Finding parts wasn’t that hard, but I did have to order them rather than running to Target so I just kept an extra on hand for when I needed them.
DLC says
I have a Spectra S1, a Hygiea, and a Freemie Liberty. They all have battery packs and I highly recommend that- makes pumping a more streamlined process when you don’t have to plug the pump in. The Hygiea is a lesser known brand, but it is by far my most efficient pump. It doesn’t have all the preprogrammable features, but I can pump in 15 minutes what it takes 20 to do with the Spectra. The Freemie is convenient, but not terribly efficient and I don’t recommend it as a primary pump. I like the spectra at work because it’s preprogrammable features mean that it is a little bit more of a no-Brainer to use, plus it’s quieter.
The few times I worked from home with childcare, I preferred to pump rather than nurse. I can work and pump more effectively than I can nurse and pump. And the baby would always fall asleep on me and then I would feel stuck. It was better for my work flow if baby and work were kept separate. Just a different data point.