Week in the Life of a Working Mom: Family Law Attorney in Minnesota

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For this week’s installment of our Week in the Life of a Working Mom series, I’m happy to introduce CorporetteMoms reader C, who lives in Minnesota with her husband and three kids and works as a family law attorney. Our usual caveat applies: Please remember that this is is a real person who has feelings and isn’t gaining anything from this, unlike your usual friendly (soul-deadened, thick-skinned, cold-hearted, money-grubbing) blogger — so please be kind with any comments. Thank you! – Kat

First, Some Basics About This Working Mom…

Name: C
Location: live and work in outer-ring Twin Cities suburb
Job: family law attorney for small town firm
Age: 34
Home Situation: 

My husband is a middle school guidance counselor in the town we live in, who just completed his administration license to become a principal and is currently writing his dissertation to complete his doctorate in educational leadership. We have three kids, a 5-year-old boy who is starting kindergarten in the fall, a 3-year-old girl who is starting preschool in the fall, and a 5-month-old boy. We live in the same neighborhood as my family — my mom and dad, sisters and their husbands and children, my brother and his children, two grandmothers, and many aunts, uncles, and cousins and their children. We are a very close family that support each other endlessly. My father has been an attorney in town for 36 years and my mom is a newly retired autism specialist for a local school district, who is now busier than ever consulting for school districts across the state.

Childcare Situation: 

During the summer, my children stay home with my husband (yay school hours!) and during the school year, I bring them to my older sister’s house at 8:00 a.m. and my husband picks them up at 5:00 p.m. I work from home on Fridays year round and keep the kids home with me to save on childcare costs. We pay about $1,600 per month for four days of childcare a week, then another $150 per month for private preschool.

A Week in My Life

Sunday

I wake up with the baby around 5:30 a.m., change and feed the baby, then make a pot of coffee. While the coffee is brewing, I read the paper to the baby and wait for the big kids to wake up while my husband sleeps in. The big kids wake up around 7:30–8:00 with two of their cousins who had a sleepover the night before, and I turn on Sunday morning cartoons while the baby and I make eggs for the “bigs.” We all eat breakfast and get dressed and head to my parents’ house to play with cousins and make breakfast for my sisters and I.

After the moms eat and the kids ride bikes in the driveway, my sisters and I discuss what we will do with the kids for the day. We decide to take the girls to the Mall of America to go to the American Girl doll store and have some fun without the boys. I pack up my kids in the car and head back home to wake up my husband and fill him in on the plans. He stays home with the 5-year-old and I take our 3-year-old daughter and the baby to MOA for the day. While we are gone, my husband and 5-year-old play video games, read books, play outside/mow the lawn, and do some laundry. We get home from the mall just in time for Sunday dinner at my parents’ house with my three sisters, one brother, and all of our spouses and children, plus two 90-year-old grandmas. We get home from dinner and take baths, read stories, and put kids to bed in time to watch Game of Thrones at 8:00 and enjoy a craft beer with my husband.

Monday

5:30 a.m. I wake up with the baby and make coffee after changing and nursing him. We play and talk and I check emails.
6:30 a.m. The big kids wake up and I make eggs and toast for the kids, then wake up my husband to play with the baby while I get ready for work. I dress the kids.
8:00 a.m. I hurry out the door to head to work. My husband gets the 5-year-old to summer school at 9:00 and picks him up at 11:30.
8:30 a.m.–5:00 p.m. Work: meeting with clients, potential client consultations, phone calls with clients and opposing counsel, draft correspondence to clients and opposing counsel, all while hooking myself up to my breast pump every two hours so that my baby has food for the next day while I am at work.
5:00 p.m. I head home and call my husband to talk about what we will do for dinner when I get there.
5:30 p.m. I get home and nurse the baby and talk to the big kids about their day while my husband makes dinner. Baths, then stories and some iPad time for the 5-year-old, then all kids to sleep by 8:00 while I check emails on my phone and snuggle them to sleep. I fell asleep with the kids for the night while my husband watches TV in the living room.

Tuesday

5:30 a.m. I wake up with the baby and make coffee after changing and nursing him, and we play and talk.
6:30 a.m. The big kids wake up and I make eggs and toast for the kids, then wake up my husband to play with the baby while I get ready for work. I dress the kids.
8:00 a.m. I hurry out the door to bring the baby to my sister’s for the day so that my husband can work on his dissertation. 8:15 a.m. My mother-in-law arrives to play with the big kids today. They bake banana bread in the morning, eat lunch, then walk to my parents house to swim in the lake with their cousins, where my sisters are hanging out with their kids, my baby included. They walk home from the lake around 5:00 and my mother-in-law is gone before I get home.
11:00 a.m. My office sponsored a golf hole at a local chamber of commerce golf tournament, so after my 11:00 pumping session I head to the golf course to help set up our items at the tee box, then rush back to the clubhouse to join my boss and coworkers at the golf cart to begin golfing for the day.
1:00 and 3:00 p.m. I jet back to the clubhouse to pump in their bathroom, check emails, and make phone calls to clients and opposing counsel, then head back out to meet my teammates and continue golfing.
5:30 p.m. We finish golfing, so I pack up and head home as quickly as possible so that I do not miss out on baths and bedtime with my kiddos. I talk to my sister about how the baby was that day on my 30-minute drive home. By the time I get home, dinner has been eaten, so I get the kids cleaned up, jammies on, stories read, and snuggle the kids to sleep. I check more emails and fall asleep with the kids.

We asked C about the pros and cons of having family caregivers: 

My husband and I lived in St. Paul when our first child was born. The thought of leaving him with a stranger while I went to work was heartbreaking — so we packed up and moved back to my hometown, where two of my three sisters are stay-at-home parents. My older sister agreed to keep my son and has taken my daughter and baby during the school year. I can drop them off in the morning knowing that they will be loved and cared for by my family all day. They will be “parented” the same way that they are in my home, they play with their cousins all day, and they spend time almost every day with my parents and two of my grandmothers. In the last six years, we have only run into a few situations where I had to have uncomfortable conversations with my sister regarding childcare-related issues. At the end of the day, there is no one that I would rather have my kids with while I am at work.

Wednesday

5:30 a.m. I wake up with the baby and make coffee after changing and nursing him. We play and talk and I check emails.
6:30 a.m. The big kids wake up and I make eggs and toast for the kids, then wake up my husband to play with the baby while I get ready for work. I dress the kids
8:00 a.m. I hurry out the door to head to work. My husband brings the 5-year-old to summer school at 9:00, and picks up at 12:30 instead of 11:30 because he has tumbling across the hall after preschool class is over. They play after lunch until I get home from work.
9:00 a.m. I have a phone conference with a client while I pump at my desk, then prepare for upcoming mediations and hearings until I need to leave for my Rotary meeting in the town where I live, about 15–20 minutes away from my office. I have a brief Rotary board meeting before the full club meeting at noon.
1:00 p.m. I quickly leave so that I can pump in my car on my way back to the office while I speak to my paralegal on the phone about client issues that came up while I was at my Rotary meetings. I get back to the office and pump between scheduled client and potential client consultations and meetings.
5:00 p.m. I leave work and head home, call my husband to talk about what we will do for dinner when I get there.
5:30 p.m. I get home and nurse the baby and talk to the big kids about their day while my husband makes dinner. We rush out the door to the 5-year-old’s last soccer game — my husband coaches, and there are trophies and ice cream handed out afterwards. My sisters and the cousins join in on the ice cream fun, then we drive home around 8:30 p.m. Baths, then stories, and everyone passes out while I check emails on my phone and snuggle them to sleep. I fell asleep with the kids for the night while my husband watches TV in the living room.

We asked C whether she thinks about her career differently since having kids:

I had my first child a few weeks after I passed the bar exam, so I don’t know anything different. I was put on this earth to be a mother and a helper, and I have found a way to do both — AT THE SAME TIME. I grew up watching my mother, aunts, and grandmothers raise large loving families, run very successful family-owned businesses, nurture their marriages, and help their communities. As I was growing up and making choices, I never considered an alternative.

I will say that after I had children, I found that my motivations for giving back to my community had shifted slightly. I began to view my work and volunteer efforts as a way to make this place I have chosen to raise my children in, better for everyone so that it is better for them. This is the reason that I joined my local Rotary International chapter and got a seat on the Rotary International Foundation board and became the community service chair on the club board. I also joined the board of my local bar association district, and just finished my term as the president, so that my passion for helping others, especially low-income members of my community, through the legal system when their families are in crisis had potential to become a priority for the other members of the bar association.

At the end of the day, I feel so blessed to have three healthy, happy, beautiful babies; a busy, successful law practice; and an amazing supportive husband and family. I have found that I can do more, say more, and physically be in more places in one day than I ever thought possible before I had children. Somehow, I just put one foot in front of the other and take on one “task” at a time.

Thursday

5:30 a.m. I wake up with the baby and make coffee after changing and nursing him. We play and talk and I check emails.
6:30 a.m. The big kids wake up and I make eggs and toast for the kids then wake up my husband to play with the baby while I get ready for work. I dress the kids.
8:00 a.m. I hurry out the door to bring the baby to my sisters for the day so that my husband can work on his dissertation. My mother-in-law arrives around 8:15 to play with the big kids today. They play games and Legos all morning, then walk over to meet my sisters at my aunt’s house to swim in the pool with their cousins. She leaves before I get home at 5:30. I have a day full of client meetings and phone calls scheduled around pumping and blocks of time set aside for working on client files.
5:00 p.m. I leave for the day. Before I left for work, my husband and I decided that he would throw in a pizza for dinner, and by the time I get home, they are already eating. I talk to my sister about how the baby was today on my way home. After we eat dinner, we go for a walk along the lake — I carry the baby in the Ergo while the big kids ride their bikes. We get home around 7:00, get them in the bath, read stories, and I snuggle them to sleep while I check emails. After the kids are sleeping, I go back upstairs and watch TV and talk to my husband.
10:00 p.m. I go to bed.

Friday

5:30 a.m. I wake up with the baby and make coffee after changing and nursing him. We play and talk.
6:30 a.m. The big kids wake up and I make eggs and toast for the kids, then wake up my husband to play with the baby while I get ready for the day.
8:30 a.m. I check emails and call my paralegal to check in about what will be done that day at the office and which files need immediate attention.
9:00 a.m. We head over to my parents’ house to play with cousins and ride bikes. I check emails as they arrive in my inbox and deal with emergencies as need be throughout the day. I make lunch for 10 kids (mine and cousins) and bring it to the beach, where we swim and kayak the afternoon away.
1:00 p.m. My husband comes over and swims with the kids while I make phone calls to my paralegal and clients.
4:00 p.m. We have my siblings and their kids over for dinner every Friday, so we head home to clean up and get the grill started.
4:30 p.m. My family arrives and the kids play in the backyard while parents make dinner and hang out on the deck.
6:30 p.m. Everyone leaves for the night, and my husband and I get the kids in the bath and jammies and let them watch a movie and have popcorn.
8:00 p.m. They ask to go to bed. I stay up and check emails and talk to my husband until 10:00.

Here’s what C had to say about working from home:

Without the support of my parents and sisters, I would not be able to keep my kids with me while I work from home. During the school year, if I have to make a phone call, my mom or one of my sisters will keep my kids so that I can focus 100% of my attention on that call. During the summer months, my husband will keep the kids away from my home office so that I can have quiet as well. Equally as important is the support that I get from my employer and my paralegal that allows me to be home with my kiddos during the workweek.

Saturday

I wake up with the baby around 5:30 and make coffee after changing and nursing him. We play and talk until the big kids wake up around 6:30. I make eggs and toast for the kids, then wake up my husband to play with the baby while I get ready for the day. I dress the kids, then we head to the beach/my parents’ house for the day. Not much work gets done on Saturdays; we just spend the day doing whatever we want to do until dinner, bath, and bed. My husband puts the kids to bed tonight while I watch Real Housewives on the DVR and have a beer while holding the sleeping baby.

Thanks so much to C for sharing a bit of her life as a working mom! Readers, what’s your biggest takeaway from her week of work as a family law attorney as well as her general work/life balance?

Stock photo via Shutterstock.