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My son received this as a gift and just wore it for the first time last weekend. I am here to sing its praises. I don’t think there has been a time when my child has not screamed when I have tried to put a shirt over his head. It’s worse with rash guards because the neck holes are so damn small. This one has a zipper down the front so I can avoid the screaming and wrangling at the pool and beach. I also like that it is long sleeved. I’m probably going to buy at least two more of these before the summer ends, and possibly even stock up for next summer because clothing companies are fickle and it may not be around next year. For now, though, it’s $11.99 at Target. Cat & Jack Full Zip Rash Guard
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Cb says
Genius! We have a half-zip one from the Gap but this looks even better.
Anonymous says
Agreed – my son’s head is literally off the growth charts giant, and this would have been great when he was younger.
anon. says
I just want to say we bought this last summer and they sold out immediately, so this year I bought one in two different sizes. They are THE BEST rash guards by far. I can’t recommend them enough. Great pick.
octagon says
Same. We bought two last year and I bought this year’s in March as soon as they came out. They are terrific.
Betty says
One of those days: My son is in 1st and daughter in Pre-K. Today is the last day of school in our school district — except for Pre-K, apparently. I work 40 minutes from home, and as I was pulling into the parking lot, I received a call from school. Apparently, there is no Pre-K today. Their last day was Wednesday (M,W,F schedule), and a note was sent home about this. Clearly, I did not get the note. It wasn’t in the weekly newsletter or anywhere else.
Luckily my mom can scramble and go grab our daughter. This feels like an appropriate cap to this school year. Ugh. Next school year will be better?
Anon says
This is one of those stories you will laugh about in a few years and your daughter will tell forever! Seems like a stupid school policy though. Assuming the kids are in the same school, the last days should be the same. Also, you’d think since the last day is mostly just festivities, they would let your daughter just hang out in your son’s class for the day. And what was going on for the 40 minutes before they called you lol?
anon says
Honestly, she was probably sitting in the office getting cooed at by the admin. Our school’s office has all kinds of books and stickers and other fun stuff for the little kids.
ANon says
“And what was going on for the 40 minutes before they called you?”
Tee hee.
Anon says
Yikes. I posted from mobile and re-reading my comment, I have no idea why I added an lol there and wonder if I hit an autofill on my phone. Sorry about that. I wasn’t trying to be flippant. I’m sure your child was fine I was just wondering why they waited 40 minutes to call you! Sorry if that read wrong.
ANon says
NO, don’t apologize!!! I genuinely giggled when I read your line because it was so ridiculous that the school wouldn’t call until 40 minutes after the OP dropped off her pre-schooler. I thought your “lol” was sarcasm, which is what made me laugh.
AIMS says
Getting it all done question. It always gets mentioned in the comments that outsourcing is essential for survival – grocery delivery, cleaning person, etc. But I do all this and still struggle/find my hands full. Do I need to adjust my expectations for life with small children? Get more/better help? Set up better systems?
Right now, we have a cleaning person come every other week, get meal delivery virtually every week, and do random grocery shopping sometimes in person, sometimes by delivery and usually a combo. I also have almost everything that can be automated delivered via subscribe & save. The only official chores we have are laundry and dishes/day to day tiding. I think my biggest issue is that I feel like I spend way too much time constantly “tidying” – putting stuff back, going through piles, getting annoyed because the cleaning person wont really deal with my clutter, having a constant “to do” list to clean/organize closets that become disorganized almost instantly when I do manage to do it. Do I just need to throw a lot of our stuff away? Get a better cleaning person (we use a service but it’s the same individual every time)? Yell at my family to be better about picking up after themselves? (we have so many places for shoes and yet they are all always just laying out by the front door).
I really want to just have fun and play with my kids on the weekends but always feel like I have a list of projects I need to get done first. Share your tips, please!
Marilla says
I think it’s a combo of accepting that you’ll spend time on brainless chores every day, and dropping the ball on some of it (like the closets). It also makes a big difference to me when I remind my husband to do the tidying with me, instead of letting him chill while I pick up (or going to sleep, leaving a mess, and the mess is still there because he doesn’t typically notice it until it’s the end of the week and he gets into a big OUR HOUSE IS SO MESSY panic). I try to keep laundry to weekends and just run a bunch of loads all day, then fold after bedtime on Sunday night with the TV on. I’m too pregnant and tired to wait for the dryer to finish on weeknights and still stay awake to fold.
anon says
Maybe one weekend, put the to-do list away and play and have fun. See you how you feel. If everyone is fed, clean, healthy and generally happy maybe it doesn’t matter that the closets aren’t organized.
Anon says
+1. clutter gives me anxiety, so I totally get it. But I find that when I walk away and do something else on the weekeds with my family, the anxiety doesn’t bother me as much. Also, rather than raging against the machine (my children), I try to find the solutions that have already found themselves. Shoes pile by the front door? Get a cute basket and that is where the shoes now go. Maybe it’s not where you’d prefer they stay there, but if the kids are already putting them there, it will ease your anxiety to make that their spot. As your kids get older, that can change. I have a similar situation with coats. I also had success Montessori-ing my house. I try to make everything they need within their reach so that the kids can help put stuff away as they go. We’ve had success with their utensils and plates/cups, bathroom supplies, and outerwear. It’s all low and easily returned/put away. This also helps. If i have to put everythingg away, it drives me crazy.
Lana Del Raygun says
Yes, this! I used to try to organize my things so that they’re easy to get to when I need/want them. Well, guess what, they’re never there if I don’t put them away! Make things easy to put away. If that means baskets, it means baskets. Baskets are cute!
GCA says
Following. We mostly just drop the ball on the larger tasks like disorganized closets or dining table clutter, and remind kiddo to pick up after himself (only works so much of the time). Laundry gets done perhaps once a week and kiddo ‘helps’ with putting things in washers and folding (some sort of complex 3-year-old origami – the end result looks not dissimilar to the same state in which his garments entered and exited the wash).
Lana Del Raygun says
How old are your kids, and are they involved in chores at all? Even if they’re too young to be much actual help, it’s good practice for when they’re older and can take things over, and it might help you feel less stressed if it’s “thing I’m doing with Kiddo” instead of “aahhh all this stuff I have to do!!” Laundry and dishes both strike me as things kids can be involved in from a young age.
anon says
You should absolutely get rid of things you aren’t using. Also, if you are spending that much time tidying, you might need to rethink how to store everything. For examples, the shoes. They are by the front door because that is convenient. Embrace it. Get stylish shoe storage. Same with other things. Are toys always in one room, but the storage is in the other? Move the storage. Organize your home how you actually live, not how you envision you should be living.
BigLaw Sr Assoc says
Yup this. I love “Organize your home how you actually live, not how you envision you should be living.” If closets get disorganized shortly after you organize them, it means they are not organized in the way that actually works for you.
Anonymous says
I have a baby who’s not yet crawling, and I know toddlers and preschoolers can be a lot messier. But I don’t spend a lot of weekend time tiding. We have a monthly cleaning service. They come Monday mornings, so I usually devote 2-3 hours on the Sunday afternoon/evening before they come to tidying up our house and getting rid of or storing all the clutter. But that’s only once/month and doesn’t kill the whole day.
As soon as I get home from work, I sort the mail. Most of it gets thrown in the recycling bin, stuff like magazines gets brought up to our bedroom so I can read it later (bills are all paid online and I usually do it from work). I also change into casual clothes and put away my work clothes, including shoes. Doing this every day keeps my closet tidy without spending weekend time organizing it. I do laundry while the baby naps on weekends (usually my laundry one day, the baby’s laundry the other day – DH does his own). DH tidies up the kitchen and runs the dishwasher (including pump parts and bottles) every night. DH’s shoes are mostly in a pile by the front door but I’ve given up on nagging about it, because he really likes having them easily accessible for dog-walking and he does the majority of that.
We don’t have grocery delivery. The baby is up by 6:30 or 7 am most days, and once/week DH runs to the grocery store while I’m nursing and playing with her, before I have to leave for work. There’s no one at the grocery store at 7 am on a weekday, so the shopping is super fast. We keep a shared Google doc grocery list that we both add to. Anything we can buy online from Target we do (such as diapers, wipes, paper towels, toilet paper, pet food) and I’m in charge of making sure all that stuff is stocked and placing orders if necessary. So the grocery shopping DH does is just food.
Anonymous says
Yes, just forget about the closets for the time being. Clutter drives me bonkers, too. Get rid of things. I am pretty ruthless about throwing away things, anything. The mail doesn’t come in the house if it’s just mailers, for example. It goes right in the recycling bin. We used to have SO many more travel coffee mugs than we needed, so we got rid of them and kept only what we really need. Changes like that make a big difference in the draining, constant, tidying. That and finding places for things. My husband is great about just leaving stuff places, so in his danger zones, I have a basket or other receptacle to catch those things so they don’t just float.
Anonymous says
Get rid of all the stuff. I recently took a day Friday off work followed by some nap and after bedtime time the same weekend to purge. It has made a huge difference in my life. Also worth the time investment: moving to electronic/paperless for as much billing and mail as possible.
AIMS says
All good suggestions, thank you.
I already try to have storage where stuff accumulates. We have a shoe cabinet next to the front door but no one seems to put anything in it and my 2.5 year old now knows how to open it so she just adds to the pile by taking out my shoes. Maybe a basket would be better, although I worry it wouldn’t be great for shoes, long term.
I think getting rid of stuff is definitely a must. My daughter does help with laundry and her toys but it’s more for “fun” than actual organization.
CCLA says
Yes we did this too and I highly recommend it! So much easier to purge when kiddo is occupied outside of the house. DH and I took a random weekday we coordinated in advance and spent the day just purging things and it was glorious. Fewer things in the house really does mean fewer things to pick up and tidy. And now I’m no longer digging through my underwear drawer to get to the good pairs – I just tossed all the ones that weren’t the “good” ones.
EB0220 says
Here’s my take: I agree that you can make yourself crazy trying to keep up with tidying, laundry, dishes, etc even when you outsource a ton. A few things I’ve found that help: #1 Minimalism: I’m not a true minimalist but I’ve been trying for years to reduce our belongings. I’ve done really well with my own stuff, OK with the kids’ stuff and I don’t touch my husband’s stuff. But everything that goes out is one less thing to pick up, so it’s worth the time to donate as much as possible. #2 Tidy Every Day: If I don’t tidy up for 10 min or so every day it all just goes to sh*t really quickly and then it takes me forever the next time. So I try to do 10 min every day without fail, which is not really too much time. And I usually listen to a podcast while I do it so it doesn’t feel so boring. #3 Lower Standards: I never had high standards so this one isn’t too hard for me, but I am pretty good at ignoring messy closets and such. #4 Pay attention to a few key areas: For me there are a few areas that just drive me crazy if they’re messy. The part of our living room visible from the front door and this counter area that’s a pass through between kitchen and living room. If those are clean I feel so much better. #5 Go with the flow of the home. Like shoes – I just gave in and put a shoe rack in the dining room right by the front door. Is it fancy? No. But we use it every day, and the dining room gets used about once a year. The shoes generally make it to the rack and it’s at least better than a pile of shoes on the floor.
Anonymous says
+1 to the little bit of attention every day. It goes a long way!
lala says
As another person who is stressed by clutter, I found that getting rid of stuff was the solution. I just kept trying to find the organizing solution that would change my life. As it turns out, I just needed less stuff to organize.
We’ve gone minimalist with house stuff and it is LIFE CHANGING. I can see all of the clothes in my closet and I wear them all. Same for the kids. Now when something new comes in, something old goes out. The kids have (1) magnatiles (2) duplos (3) paw patrol collection (because I cannot fight the peer pressure . . .), (4) doll and accessories and (5) books that are out and they can grab. They have art, puzzles, small animals, hot wheels, balls in plastic tubs in their closet that I can grab for them. They only get to play with these when everything else is cleaned up. Literally all of the random toys, clutter toys that only get played with for 5 minutes, etc went to goodwill.
Same with Kitchen stuff. Now we’re working on the garage and storage room and it is awesome just throwing the clutter away.
I also have let go of some of it. I have spaces in my house that do not get cluttered up (our bedroom, which is large, so also serves as a living room for DH and I), so I retreat to those in the evening so I don’t stress about the kid toys that didn’t get picked up.
Anonymous says
I am a messy person and I think the tips that helped me become a non-messy person would probably help here.
– Once a year I spend an entire weekend going through everything in every cabinet/closet. When I open the cabinet, before cleaning it, I write down in a notebook what was making the closet/cabinet messy. I then throw out/donate what we don’t need. When I put things back, I think about what made the area messy and think of how I can reorganize it in a manner that better suits how I use the space (sometimes it is moving something, sometimes I need a new organizer).
– I don’t reorganize closets, etc. outside of that weekend unless it comes up naturally. Ever. So things only really get touched during that weekend and maybe once more per year (i.e., at the end of winter, when I swap out cold/warm clothes, I tidy my dresser and closet; when we travel, I reorganize our suitcase storage).
– Our organization system requires the absolute least amount of maintenance. Everything is stored out of sight (i.e., a closet), in a large clear bin, and loosely grouped by category. No labels because you can see inside. All bins are the same size for ease of stacking. Categories are quite broad and we literally just throw things in the bins.
– I looked at how we used the space and instead of trying to get people to put things somewhere new, I just acknowledged we were not going to change and put something nice where we were putting stuff. We kept dropping stuff on our entry way table, so I got decorative trays for everyone to drop their keys/sunglasses in. I kept leaving the mail/pens/lists on the kitchen table so I got a wooden mail organizer that now sits on the kitchen table. We kept leaving invitations/cards out on the entryway table so we got a display for them. We kept leaving the hairdryer out in the bathroom so we got a hook to hang the back of our bathroom cabinet – hair dryer is still out but its out of sight for guests. We kept leaving our pajamas (which we rewear) in the bathroom so we hung hooks (now everyone has a towel hook + a pajama hook). And so on and so forth.
mascot says
I like your last point about not fighting your own tendencies too much.
anne-on says
Can you hire a mother’s helper or a sitter during the week? We started that when my son was 3 – just someone 2 or 3 days a week for I think between 2-3 hours at a time? Enough time to feed him dinner, clean up after his dinner, bathe him, and then stick him in jammies. Not stuff I minded outsourcing, and it gave me SO MUCH time to do things around the house like tackle the mail/break down boxes from amazon orders/print out and package up stuff for returns/clean out a closet or two/run the vacuum/sort out of season clothing into the attic. You’d be amazed how much you can get done in 4-6 dedicated hours a week, and I was there in case there was an emergency.
We also found it helpful to move evening routine to ONE parent. So if it was my husbands night I’d do the tidying/etc. while he put the kids down and then we’d switch. You both really don’t need to both put kids down, and that was a solid 45-60 minutes every night where I could really knock out some household stuff.
SC says
I think some of it is letting go of expectations/lowering standards while you have young kids. This doesn’t work for things like laundry–eventually you run out of clothes–but it does work for cleaning out closets and other big projects.
Our typical weekend includes some cleaning and errands and getting ready for the week. Saturdays, we typically have swim lessons and eat breakfast out together and go home for nap time/quiet time. (Kiddo is outgrowing his nap, and it’s horrible for everyone, but I digress.) Then we spend a few hours on Saturday afternoon cleaning and/or running errands. On Sundays, we do a lot more family time/play time, but we often try to cook ahead on Sunday afternoon and evening. Not every weekend is “typical,” but it helps us stay afloat.
For laundry, specifically folding it and putting it away, one parent gets a “break” by going into the bedroom by themselves to fold laundry and watch Netflix or whatever.
We have an “everyone helps” mentality. On weekdays, Kiddo helps set the table before dinner, carries his plate to the sink, and picks up his toys before dinner. He also frequently runs errands with DH on the way home and “helps” DH cook. On weekends, Kiddo runs errands with us, throws things away, “sweeps,” loads laundry, wipes the glass doors, and sometimes helps me make pancakes for breakfast. Having small kids involved can be additional work, but I hope to teach him that all of this work is part of being a family.
Anonymous says
I also like having times in my weekend where work (house and job) are off limits. For me that is usually Friday evening and a good portion of Saturday. Sunday is the day to prepare for the week.
anon in ny says
City specific question: how do you soundproof your kids’ rooms? We moved to a new apartment a couple months ago and the sirens are so loud in our baby’s room that it does occasionally wake her up. I’m considering paying for sound-proof window installation even though we are in a rental because it is really stressing me out. It is expensive though – about 2.5k. We already do a combo of a fan and dohm sound machine but they aren’t able to mask the sirens. Are there services that will come and tell you how to sound-proof? any recommendations?
mascot says
I lived in a 1930s apartment building across the street from a hospital when I was in law school so I feel your pain with the sirens. Honestly, I eventually learned to sleep through it so you might find that in a few more months she’s not bothered by it. Kids learn to sleep through a lot of noises.
Anonymous says
+1 – we overlook a 6 lane road in NYC, and you just do get more used to it. It will also get easier as your baby gets older and gets better at going to sleep or back to sleep on his or her own.
Anon in NYC says
Have you tried heavy sound dampening curtains? Carpet on her floor? How often is this happening that she wakes up? If it really is only occasional, I would do those two things and just live with it.
If it’s a constant issue, perhaps you can talk to your landlord and see if they’re willing to split the cost with you. It is an improvement to the apartment that they will benefit from, so they may be interested in doing so.
AIMS says
Can you talk to your super? We live in an apartment and apparently weren’t shutting our windows all the way which led to a lot of noise seeping in. I was really surprised when my super pointed this out. You may also want to check for any gaps, etc., that can be filled with caulk or padding. Also – look into soundproofing curtains. That may do the trick.
Anonymous says
Oh yes – the top window often slips down about a quarter of an inch if they need new balances – it can be really hard to see this but it makes a difference. This can also explain why rooms are inexplicably cold in the winter (all too rare in an NYC rental!)
Ellie says
Just as a counterpoint, I grew up on a very noisy street, was occasionally woken up by sirens, and am now the deepest sleeper. It’s been great since roommates, etc. have never bothered my sleep.
quieter baby monitor? says
We have the Infant Optics DXR-8 Video Baby Monitor. While I’m generally happy with it, the lowest volume setting is still incredibly loud when baby stirs and cries a bit in her sleep. At our old house had just enough soundproofing between the bedrooms that we could turn off the volume and hear her when it was urgent but sleep through the mild fussing. Now our rooms are farther apart and I think I sleep through most of it, good and bad.
Of course she’s fine in the morning, but I just don’t feel right about her either (a) waking us up every hour all night long or (b) not being able to cry out for us if she really needs it. (Who really uses these baby monitors at their top volume setting, anyway?)
Has anyone else worked through a similar problem?
Anonymous says
I use the baby monitors at their top setting. We’ve had two AngelCare monitors and the top volume level between the two of them has varied dramatically. I really wish our new one was louder. Does kiddo sleep with a sound machine? Ours does, and that actually helps dampen some of what the monitor picks up.
OP says
Thanks! She does sleep with a sound machine and the monitor doesn’t pick it up because it’s on a wall opposite the crib, but perhaps we could turn it up a notch.
Anonymous says
That’s interesting. Both of our Angelcares have really picked up the white noise. To the point that we don’t use ours in our bedroom anymore because we hear kiddo’s so much. And it is across her room. Maybe one in your room could help, too.
Anonymous says
Do you keep your bedroom doors open at night? We just crack DD’s door before we go to sleep so we can hear if we need to, but not little stirring movements.
OP says
I would love to do this but we have four cats who will walk all over us all in the middle of the night. Still, might be worth a try.
NewMomAnon says
Mom of the year confession – we stopped using a monitor because kiddo was a noisy sleeper, and she learned to cry louder to wake us up if she needed us. Maybe won’t work for a newborn, but by 4-6 months old babies can adapt.
OP says
We might just end up doing this too. I might try muffling the monitor with a towel, but if that doesn’t work…
Anonymous says
Could you put the monitor across your room, or in a closet with the door open?
Green Hat says
Yes I had this problem too. I solved it by also putting a white noise machine in OUR room. I can still hear cries but not shuffling/wimpering.
shortperson says
question: my husband is a science prof and is going to a party that a colleague in his department is throwing for herself after getting tenure. (families/kids are invited but i’ll be out of town with the kids.) this woman is late 30s, not married/no kids. we are friendly with her and have her over for dinner/parties a few times a year. she is super nice and every time she comes, she brings nice gifts for the kids, thoughtfully selected from a local independent toy store.
so i would like to get her a tenure present but not sure what to get. everything i would consider for my own friends (i.e. jewelry) would be weird since she is my husband’s colleague. i’m not sure about her hobbies. any ideas?
Anonymous says
Something related to her interests from one of the university stores? (e.g., sweatshirt, leather folio cover, something from the museum store…)
Anonymous says
Nice bottle of champagne
ElisaR says
yes
Anonymous says
Does the tenure come with a title change? Like associate professor to professor or something? If so, something with her new title could be fun.
Meg Murry says
If she always makes a point of getting your kids something from the local independent toy store, what about something for her from a local independent store – like a bag of coffee beans from a local roaster if she drinks coffee, or something from the farmer’s market, etc. If the party is at her house, a typical “hostess” type of gift (wine, chocolate, a plant, etc would be appropriate).
Alternately, since she’s really your husband’s colleague and not yours, a nice card with a personalized congratulations message telling her how happy you are for her and how glad you are that she’ll be around longer plus another dinner/party/drinks etc invite in the near future would probably be sufficient.
This may be completely school dependent, but in my area it also really depends on whether your husband is already tenured, or whether he is tenure-track or adjunct. Around here, it is expected that the currently tenured faculty make more of an effort to give a gift or host a celebration, etc – while the not-yet-tenured faculty usually just sign a card and contribute to a group gift, and adjunct/visiting faculty aren’t usually expected to do more than just sign the card unless they are close personal friends with the newly tenured prof.
But if you really feel you want to do something or get her something since you’ll be missing the party, perhaps the department admin could help clue you in on something she might need or appreciate hobby wise or for her office. Or perhaps there is a group gift the department is organizing that your husband could contribute to?
Anonymous says
I think you could also go your usual route that you’d give your friends, but maybe consider taking her out for a celebratory lunch and giving it to her then so it’s not like your husband is giving her jewelry or something. Make it more clearly from you.
shortperson says
thanks for the ideas. i will do some research this weekend.
Weekend! says
It has been a rough couple weeks, and next week won’t be any easier. I’m thinking tonight on my way to daycare pick-up, I’m going to buy myself some sparkling wine and a giant chocolate cupcake and shut myself in the bedroom with my treats and a dvr’ed Hallmark movie after kiddo’s bedtime.
anne-on says
YES! I just watched LadyBird on Amazon Prime and would totally suggest it for a girls night in type movie. That or the Set Up on Netflix is supposed to be good and silly/light. Or heck – rent something through your local library! I always do this for the kids and never myself, it’s like a special free treat!
Weekend! says
I should watch things with more value like that. But cheesy Hallmark movies and HGTV are my stress relief. I spend too much mental energy the rest of the week on work and home that I can’t handle tv time that requires mental energy.
sfg says
Brain candy for the win. Enjoy!
Mama Llama says
This sounds amazing. Enjoy!
Anonymous says
That sounds fantastic. I’ve had a rough week too and treated myself to a fancy chocolate donut this afternoon.
August says
Try a piece of scotch tape over the speaker.
I love our infant optix monitor but do wish the lowest volume setting were quieter and same for monitor brightness (wish lowest setting was more dim).