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When my son was a newborn, I was totally convinced we weren’t going to be those people whose child takes over their house. Now that he’s a toddler, it’s fully happened and I’ve given up trying to stop the inevitable — there are toys and various child-related products everywhere. Right now I’m considering my storage options, and this system is tempting me. I like that it has a design element to it, it’s colorful, and I won’t care if it gets destroyed over the years (months, seconds). I also like that my son can open and close the bins himself and discover what’s inside each. It’s $59.99 at Ikea, and it comes in white, white/pink, and white/orange. Trofast Storage
Paging Pogo says
Did you want me to do some investigation about pumping while in Europe? I’m in the UK and have struggled to find a spot at the university but I think public buildings as well as corporations are better. The struggle seems to be that most women don’t go back to work while they are still nursing so places aren’t always equipped for it.
Pogo says
Hi! Yeah, I was thinking that was the issue, it’s probably not as common so might be tricky to explain or ask for. Not just at the office but at my hotel – like will the staff understand what I’m asking for if I need a freezer or fridge? Most Germans speak really good English so I’m not worried about that, but I’m wondering if they’ll be like… why… are you not… with your baby? It’s crazy even in the US how many people don’t really understand how pumping works.
Have you flown with breastmilk in Europe? I’ve done it a bunch in the US, I know the laws, and I’m very familiar with it. I was curious if others have had experience with breastmilk in European airports.
Cb says
I haven’t – I’ve always had baby in tow but I’ve seen people do it and it doesn’t seem to be a problem. You just flag it up to security – they might test it but it should be fine.
I’d email the hotel beforehand and make sure they have the facility for you. Maybe find a link to the regulations on carrying breastmilk through the airport and print them off. If you show security, they should know what you need. But I’m sure the security people are totally used to it.
RDC says
I would check the carryon regs by country. In some places they do *not* make an exception to the no-liquids rule to allow you to carry on b*milk. So you might have to send the milk in a checked bag. I’ve done that on a couple international flights and it’s been fine. I refrigerate the milk at the hotel – not freeze – so I don’t need to worry about it defrosting. Pack it in storage bags layered between ziplocks of ice in a heavy-duty softsided cooler. (Just regular ice, not dry ice.) And pack all that in a large checked suitcase. I think the cooler I have is Polar brand and it’s super well-insulated so the ice has still been frozen when I opened it after 24 hours of travel.
First Watches says
My 2.5 year old is obsessed with clocks and time, and likes to check the digital clock to see if it says “8” for bedtime or “9” for school in the morning. I’d love to get him a digital watch with no features (I’m afraid he’ll mess up the display if there are buttons and I don’t want to hear constant beeping). Ideally, would be something he could get on and off himself, but I can also deal with a normal buckle.
Should I consider analog and just teach him to look at the hour hand? Any recommendations?!
I don’t really care if he’s able to tell time but want to support his interest in it and let him figure out what it’s time for each day.
Thanks!
AIMS says
No digital watch recommendations but my daughter is the same age and also obsessed and she’s been very happy with a regular analog kids’ watch. If anything, I think she would prefer a watch that she could take on and off by herself.
We also have a little toy clock that teaches how to tell time, though I think she’s still a bit too young for it. FWIW, I think you can still teach your kid to see 8 or 9 on an analog watch. I first learned how to tell time by learning where the hands had to be for my favorite TV show. I think I was about 3.
Redux says
Would you rather…
My commute is about 45m – 1 hr in the car. I have a very flexible and generous boss who has let me do a 4-day work week, with somewhat longer days and mild email checking/responding from home on the 5th day. This has worked really well so far as I am very happy to save the commute, and I do a lot of personal things on that 5th day– haircut, dentist, etc. The downside is that my daycare-age kids go to bed pretty early and so in the evenings I usually get only about an hour with the 4-year old and some nights I don’t see the baby at all. My DH does all the pickup/dropoff, all the meal prep and mealtime, and lots of the bedtime routine by himself. (He is a teacher with a short commute, and has a more flexible afternoon). I want to do those things, too.
I don’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth, but I am tempted to see if there is an even better way, i.e., 5 shorter days, home in time to see my kids before bedtime. Obviously, it would mean 5 days of commuting, an increase of 1.5-2 hours in the car, which is objectively terrible. There is also the possibility of that early dismissal creeping down and turning into the longer day that my boss has gotten used to (he often meets with me in the late afternoon– 5pm– since its pretty quiet by then). And its true that my kids will go to bed later as they get older.
So, for those of you who have tried some similar arrangements (and especially those with long commutes factored in): Would you rather a 4 long days/ 5th day “off” or 5 shorter days? Does it change when your kids are school aged?
Anonymous says
Does your position lend itself to working in the evenings? Like maybe if you still have the four longer days in total, but a few of those hours are in the evening after bedtime? Can you be more official with time off on Fridays and have the kids home with you to make up for the other days?
Cb says
I was listening to the Best of Both Worlds podcast and someone had a compressed schedule like this. She worked 7:45-4:45 and then did an hour or two after bedtime, with Fridays off. I think 5 shorter days would just make things harder.
Redux says
I am terrible at working from home in the evenings. I’m just so tired. I can do simple things like responding to email, but I have a hard time justifying a split day. Maybe once my youngest is sleeping through the night…
9:48 Anon says
I agree this would be difficult until sleeping through the night! I do better with mornings, but know I am in the minority so suggested evenings. But mornings also work for this, as does a little of both. I can sustain working in the mornings for a while as my normal schedule, but not evenings. 2 nights per week is my max.
Anon in NYC says
Caveat that I have not done any sort of arrangement like that, but could you also consider shifting your schedule so that you either come in really early/leave early or come in later/leave later? A friend who has a similar commute gets to work at some obscenely early hour (like, 6am) and leaves by 3pm. The downside, of course, is that you have to manage other people’s expectations, and if your boss is the type to come in at 10 and stay until 8, that’s tough.
A partner I used to work with was an early bird, and he and his family (wife was a partner at a different firm) did “family breakfast” rather than putting so much emphasis on the evening. This could work if your kids get up early.
Redux says
My boss is the late night type, yes! It is already a little hard to weasel out of conversations he starts in the minutes before I was planning on leaving. And if I’m being real with myself I could never get to work as early as your friend. I like “family breakfast,” thanks for mentioning that!
Anonymous says
This is basically my schedule except that the 5th day is my day at home with the kids. It is hard to get home and basically put them to bed. But the 5th day with them makes it all worthwhile. It sounds like your kids are in daycare on the fifth day. Can you keep them home? Pick them up early? I usually get to Thursday and start to feel crummy but then I remember I have Friday with them and I feel great. It’s really worked for our family. To be perfectly honest, it’s also been good for our marriage – as much as I miss time with my kids I like getting home and having a later dinner with just the two of us.
Redux says
This may be years off for you, but do you think you’ll keep this schedule when they get older? Right now my kids are in daycare until 530pm, and I wonder if I’ll want 5 shorter days when they start school.
ginger hb says
Fwiw, I still have young kids so I can’t speak to school age but I would prefer the 4 day schedule. In part, because I think you’re right about the early dismissal creep unless you can be confident those boundaries will be respected. I always feel like I’m getting stuck staying later because someone wants to talk.
Redux says
Definitely true for me, too.
rosie says
Is working from home 1-2 of the days an option to get rid of the commute issue? You could also try having a scheduled day (or days) where you stay later in the office to have the later check-in with your boss, and then do shorter days the rest of the time.
lala says
This is what I did when I had a longer commute. Started working from home 2 days per week. I could handle the longer days knowing that the WFH days were coming. Then I got to see the kids before they left in the morning, and pick them up, while still putting in a full day.
Redux says
Working from home would be amazing. I worry that I’m already pushing it since my 4-day workweek is very hush-hush. HR has an official no alternative schedules policy, though I know my manager and at least one other manager have staff who work alternate schedules. I don’t want to push it, but maybe I will float the idea of working from home one day a week. So, bumping back up to 5-days, but 2 days are at home. I will miss my 5th day off, but I don’t think I could convince my boss to let me do a 4-day with 2 at home.
Boston Legal Eagle says
If your commute was shorter, I might go for the 5 shorter days, but that is a lot of commuting time to add on, especially if it’s by car. I would also worry that you will still end up leaving late on some of those in-office days because that’s been the expectation until now. I’d also see if you can pick up the kids early on that last day and get some extra time with them then, along with the weekends, if that’s what you feel you’re missing.
Redux says
I do usually pick them up early on Fridays and go do something fun just the three of us. I feel a teensy bit guilty that I use bulk of the day to do my own thing rather than keeping them home with me all day, but I am a better parent for that bit of alone time, so I’m sticking with it.
Delta Dawn says
I would keep your current setup. Can you do daycare pickup on Fridays? Maybe pick them up early on Fridays to get more time with them? I echo the above concerns that 5 shorter days would just turn into 5 regular-length days, plus then you’d lose your haircut/dentist/etc Fridays.
Redux says
Yes, this is what I am doing now. It’s working, so I don’t want to rock the boat, but am always curious if there is an alternative.
FTMinFL says
I currently work an extra hour M-R and a half day on Friday. Would this work for you?
Caveat is that I am actually switching back to a standard 8:30-5:30 office schedule next week. Bedtime is a huge priority for me and I’m more productive in the mornings, so I’ve been working 7:30-5:30. However, with a 30 minute morning commute I was only getting about 30 minutes of time with my kids when they were at their best (rested!) and I was getting 1-2 hours in the evening of them at their tired worst while I was also at my tired worst after a long work day. I’m not looking forward to losing my Friday afternoon or the peaceful early morning office hour, but I am SO looking forward to going for stroller runs and actually getting to eat breakfast with my kids in the morning.
Redux says
A half-day at home is an interesting compromise. I totally agree that seeing my kids at their worst (and being at my worst, too) feels like a bummer. Enjoy your morning stroller runs!
Anon says
I work a 75% schedule and I do 3 long days a week because I also have an atrocious commute. While my long days are tiring and I don’t see my baby at all on the days that I work, I love having two weekdays “off” (I usually ended up working an hour or so a day while the baby naps on my off days) to run errands and hang out with the baby and take her to Mommy & Me.
Redux says
This sounds great. I am not in a position to drop down to less than full time, and am always impressed with people who can negotiate it (and hold firm to the time limit!).
SC says
I’d probably keep your current setup because the commute is so long! And don’t feel bad getting the personal stuff taken care of on Friday–that means you have more time with them on the weekends.
My mom was a doctor and had a 4.5-day schedule (plus call). She always used her half day for personal stuff and family errands, then picked me up from school. (My dad picked me up the other days.) But she always said she could get 3x as much accomplished on a Wednesday afternoon than she could on a Saturday when the stores were busy. And then on the weekend, we had family time together. So, taking Fridays to get your stuff done opens up the weekend to be with your kids.
Redux says
Thank you so much for saying this!
Picky eater already? says
My 11 month old son is suddenly refusing to eat finger foods or feed himself. We started him on purees at 4 months but transitioned to him feeding himself little bits of food around 6 months and he’s been a great eater all around. He would generally get yogurt and some pureed fruit in the morning more as a time and sanity saving measure than anything else, but the rest of the day he’d have toast, cut up fruits/veggies/cheese/meat, crackers. . .until this week. Now, suddenly, he refuses to feed himself and wants nothing other than baby food and yogurt, which I’ve been reluctantly feeding him just to get him the calories. Otherwise, he just clamps his mouth shut, shakes his head no, or throws the food on the floor. Is this normal? Is he just being a picky eater?
Anonymous says
I think it is normal for kids to go in phases like this throughout toddler-hood. At least my daughter has, and she is 2.5.
GCA says
Is he teething? Perhaps his mouth hurts and that’s why he’d rather have the purees right now? If it’s just been a few days, I’d wait it out – sounds pretty normal to me. Honestly, some days my son eats everything on his plate and then asks for seconds and thirds, and some days he apparently lives on applesauce and air, and he’s 3.
lsw says
This has been totally normal for us. Started around the same time as you or maybe a bit later, and it goes in phases. Right now he is 23 months and will still bizarrely refuse his favorite foods – e.g. two nights ago he ate literally an entire chicken breast and asked for more, last night he picked all the chicken out of his pasta. Raspberries are his favorite food until he randomly refuses them for two days. It has been really frustrating to me, both as a high worrier (are you getting enough nutrients?!?) and someone who grew up with very strong negative feelings connected to food waste. Solidarity.
Cb says
I think it’s really normal. My 10.5 month old went 2 days where he’d only eat purees out of a pouch (which he doesn’t normally get).
anon. says
Totally normal. Lasted about 2-3 weeks for us, right around that age.
shortperson says
while it is normal, i would not offer him alternatives. that’s a dangerous path. he wont starve, especially with a formula or breastmilk backup.
Anon says
I know that this is totally a personal decision, but people on this site often suggest throwing money as a problem or outsourcing, whether it’s hiring house cleaners, extra childcare etc. when do ppl think it’s appropriate to tap into savings to do this or should one never use more than monthly income because tapping into savings is really living beyond your means. And if you or your spouse earn a substantial bonus, do you exclude that from your monthly budget if it’s not 100% guaranteed? The reason I ask is we recently had twins and I feel like I’m starting to feel like I’m drowning. We have no family nearby and I’ve heard the first year with twins is really challenging but then it gets better. Is it irresponsible/living beyond our means to set ourselves up in a situation for the next year that requires tapping into savings or relying on DH’s bonus rather than just our monthly income? Other than grad school, we’ve fortunately never really had to tap into our savings and I really struggle with when it’s appropriate vs when it’s not. I am also someone who struggles more generally with spending money.
Marilla says
In general, I wouldn’t dip into savings for regular expenses, but I think newborn twins is TOTALLY an exception. Do what you need to do to get through this time, especially if you’re regularly savers and not spenders – you’ll get back to where you were once things settle down.
And I think bonus is always fair to dip into/plan for as part of your regular budget (unless it really varies wildly – when my husband was in an industry with bonuses his was usually fairly reliable within about $1K either way).
mascot says
Can you use the bonus on reversible decisions like housekeeping, ready-made meals, extra babysitters at the house? Easy to drop if there is a shift in finances, but allows you to access the benefit during times that it makes financial sense. I’d be less likely to tie yourselves to decisions that are harder to unwind like buying a different house. And some years you just don’t save at the same rate that you’ve been saving. I’d still try to fund out retirement, but maybe the short term savings for vacation or elective house expenses get shifted this year to make your daily lives a bit easier.
Anon says
This is what I would do. I’d figure out what we’re expecting the bonus to be – let’s say you’re reasonably comfortable that it’ll be $10K, and the lowest it’s been has been $5K, but up to $15K. And you’ve got at least $10K in savings (beyond an emergency fund). So I’d set $10K as my “extra help” budget, knowing that I might have to dip in savings to cover it, but I could if I needed to.
Then I’d spend that $10K on stuff that is reversible or non-repeating if year two turns out easier. Stuff like housekeeper, nanny, extra babysitters, lawn service, fancier stroller that makes you more likely to be able to get out of the house, etc.
To me, this is part of what my savings is for. I have 1 month of fund for unexpected expenses like new windows or car repairs, 6 months of emergency fund for layoff-type situations, we save up for a vacation and holidays, and then beyond that, it’s to help make our life more comfortable when we need extra help. Dealing with newborn twins is just as valid of a situation as a stroke when you’re 85.
Anonymous says
I really like your one month fund for unexpected expenses. We also have a six month emergency fund, but I’ve really struggled with what the right amount of savings beyond that is that isn’t earmarked for a particular purpose, like vacation fund or whatever. This is really relevant for us right now because we’re about to undertake some housing renovations and are trying to decide how much we can spend now versus what to spend later.
K says
This is what I was thinking as well. Do what you need to do to get through this first year, and then you can reevaluate when the twins are a bit older and things have hopefully settled down a bit. Congrats on your babies!
Anonymous says
We don’t rely on bonus income for necessities/normal monthly expenses. We do think about it as it relates to bigger picture spending and extras, though – vacations, down payment for a new car, swingset, etc. So we might be less likely to save monthly for these types of things and consider working towards those bonuses our effort at short-term savings.
If I was drowning, I would have no problem using savings for this kind of stuff. However, I would probably say something like “I think it is worth it to spend $XXXX of savings during this rough year for ______ luxuries, so I am going to transfer said amount to checking now and schedule it.” I would feel better about making a one time transfer that I eat away at or pad my account with than feeling like I am dipping into savings all the time. Or maybe you can pay upfront so it doesn’t feel like a monthly expense. I also like the perspective that you save for special occasions/luxuries, and this is one type of that.
Anon says
I am all for fiscal responsibility, but a newborn (let alone twins!) gives you a hall pass for a few months, in my opinion. My husband and I both have bonus-heavy jobs and while we don’t rely on it for monthly expenditures, we do use it as our savings for the year (so we generally don’t save much of our salaries) and we will dip into our bonuses for a big expenditure like a new car or a luxury like a vacation.
Also, I found that even with the costs of having a new baby, we actually saved some money while we were in the newborn phase because I rarely left the house, so buying new clothes, fancy haircuts, and date night dinners weren’t happening for awhile. Maybe you can reallocate some of your usual budget for those items that are on the backburner for a bit to some purchases that will help make life more manageable (housekeeper, meal delivery, etc.)?
SC says
I wouldn’t feel comfortable going into a “layoff” fund or charging things to a credit card to be paid off with bonus money, but I definitely would be comfortable dipping into other savings if they’re available. I like the idea of doing one large transfer out of savings and/or limiting the time–so “We will transfer $X to checking account and pay $X/12 for Y services each month, and we’ll reassess in one year.” You could plan to pay yourself back with the bonus money if you’d feel better.
PregAnon says
3 unrelated, blood/birth-related questions. Did you do cord blood banking, delayed cord clamping or placenta encapsulation?
Cord blood banking to me seems really expensive and unlikely to be effective. Delayed cord clamping seems to make a lot of sense to me and I don’t know why it’s not standard practice. Finally, placenta encapsulation seems gross and never appealed to me, but my acupuncturist was going on and on about the benefits. I figure, if done properly, it couldn’t hurt right? I have mental health issues and am worried about PPD – obviously the encapsulation would not be a cure-all but am considering combining it with my more western therapies.
Thoughts?
rosie says
Just to respond on the cord blood banking. We did it because we can afford it and didn’t want to keep thinking about it/angsting over whether to do it. If we had looked into it early enough we would have donated it, as that seems like the most potential benefit. They seem pretty strict about a cutoff date by which you need to sign up, and we were too far along.
LH says
Huh – Cutoffs must vary. I was asked if I wanted to donate while I was in labor and I said yes.
rosie says
I just looked it up on Be the Match, which is the org my OB referred me to. It looks like you need to sign up before 34 weeks unless your hospital is listed as a “participating hospital,” in which case I guess you can sign up later. Maybe that’s the difference?
Lana Del Raygun says
Good to know, thank you! I’m planning to donate cord blood so I’ll bring it up at my next appointment.
Marilla says
My unfiltered opinion is that placenta encapsulation is a scam and just a way to suck more money out of anxious moms. I would recommend asking your OB about the evidence for it. The last time I read about it, I remember reading that there is no data backing up any benefits to preventing PPD or supporting breastfeeding, and there are possible safety risks.
GCA says
We did delayed cord clamping as the benefits seemed clear. Kiddo was jaundiced, but it’s hard to say if the delayed clamping had anything to do with it as he was genetically predisposed (jaundice is more common in babies of Asian and African American descent, but at the same time it’s not a given). We didn’t do cord blood banking as I have a medical condition that rules out public cord blood donation, but donation to a public bank (not private cord blood banking) makes more sense (similar to donating blood or registering as an organ donor) and might be an option in your area. And placenta encapsulation didn’t seem like it was worth the effort to us.
Pogo says
+1, same…. down to a blood condition that means I can’t donate!
There are some specific childhood cancers that are cured by cord blood. But it makes much more sense to donate to a public bank where the stem cells could help any child, rather than paying to keep your own in the very unlikely case that it is needed. The more people that donate, the better the system will work.
Delayed cord clamping was easy to do so we figured, why not. Though I remember the doctor reminding everyone at one point that the cord was still connected, because the ped nurse was helping me try to latch him on or something and we were both holding him…. only so far baby can go while still connected!
LH says
Cord blood banking – we did public not private, which was free at our hospital. We technically don’t own it, but there’s a good chance if we needed it and it’s still there we would be able to access it. The private banking didn’t seem worth the cost to me.
Delayed cord clamping – honestly not sure but I think I remember hearing it was normal practice at our hospital so maybe? “Delayed” only means for a minute or so right? The cord was definitely cut within about a minute.
Placenta – Ewwwww no. The doctor showed it to me after I “delivered” it and I almost threw up. I think the “benefits” of this are pseudoscience.
Anonymous says
Oh also I think I donated the placenta for research, since that’s standard at our hospital.
Pogo says
I posted above… I think delayed in our case was until the cord stopped pulsing, which was several minutes. But mine came out not in any kind of distress so we delayed all the normal newborn stuff (weighing, suctioning) for a bit (maybe 5 mins?).
Anonymous says
Cord blood banking – no, didn’t want to pay for it, but I think there was another reason it didn’t seem worthwhile – foggy memories. I’m not sure it was even a thing at our hospital.
Delayed – I think we planned to do this/asked for it but my son was born in some distress so I think it was clamped quickly so he could be taken to be examined and suctioned. He came out really quickly and inhaled meconium.
Placenta – no. Way too woo for me to spend $$ on.
Another Anon says
+1 this is pretty much exactly what we did/planned and how it turned out….
Except I was more on the “ew, it’s a filter for bad stuff” side of placental consumption.
Cb says
Delayed cord cutting is standard practice in the UK. My kiddo came out with a bump so they didn’t wait the full time as he needed a bit of extra care but I think in normal circumstances the delay is a good idea.
ElisaR says
we did not opt to do the cord blood banking. It’s expensive and they don’t seem to have many uses for it at this time. Delayed cord cutting – I did ask for this, the doctor was kind of like “yeah yeah yeah I push all the blood out of the cord anyway to the baby before I cut” which kind of upset me but Sh*t was cray cray in the delivery room (c-section) so I was like whatever at that point. Placenta stuff? No. But I asked to look at it because it’s seriously an impressive thing that our bodies make that and it sustains a baby for 9 months! Cool! But no thanks I don’t want it.
Anonymous says
Re: cord blood banking– I asked our obgyn about it and he recommended donation over banking it for yourself for a few reasons. His explanation seemed to center on the likelihood that if a child has a disease for which cord blood/stem cells would be useful, the problem may have originated in the genetics of the stem cell itself, so using one’s own cord blood is rarely worth it. It can be worthwhile if a child has a sibling with a disease or something. Regardless, we had twins that were premature and apparently there was not enough cord blood to donate. Since they were preemies and needed to get to the NICU quickly, they did not do delayed clamping, but I think if it was a nonemergency I believe it would have been standard practice to delay it at our hospital.
Placentas themselves are cool, I am fairly certain the encapsulation thing is complete psuedoscience.
Betty says
We did both cord blood banking and delayed clamping. It is possible! We opted to privately bank both kids’ cord blood because we can afford it and there is a family history of illnesses that these therapies are targeting.
Anonymous says
We didn’t cord blood bank for any of the 3. We did delayed cord cutting bc it’s SOP at our Boston area hosptial. Our first was born in a different hospital where it wasn’t SOP.
Lana Del Raygun says
Placenta encapsulation is woo and also gross. I definitely want to see my placenta because I like gross medical stuff, but eating it is a bad idea.
Anonymous says
We are doing private core blood banking. My husband had childhood leukemia so that is something that concerned us. Our doctor recommend blood cord banking for this reason.
Knope says
Delayed cord clamping was/is standard practice with my midwife group. There is zero evidence for the effectiveness of placenta encapsulation. Not only is it gross, you’ll have to make arrangements for it to be “collected” post-birth, and honestly I couldn’t imagine having to worry about the logistics of that after the exhausting birthing process.
anon says
We did cord blood banking. My husband studied bio engineering (though he doesn’t work in the field now) and he was really interested in it. My OB also pushed it quite a bit.
Anonymous says
Delayed cord clamping was standard protocol at our hospital (even for C-sections), but we had twins who shared a placenta so their cords only left for 30 seconds or so before cutting because really bad things can happen to baby B if you let baby A’s cord pulse too long.
Anonymous says
We didn’t do cord blood banking because it didn’t seem worth it. I honestly didn’t know about delayed cord clamping, but IIRC, there were a few minutes before the cord was cut. The placenta encapsulation seems unscientific and gross.
Advice for HFM? says
DD came down with HFM on Monday (fever and starting to have rash). Will she be good to go for daycare next Monday? Fever is mostly gone but rash is in full force right now.
S says
Maybe? We were out for week.
ElisaR says
Our day care requires the rash to be scabbed over. My younger son was only out 1 day for HFM (granted he only had blisters on his throat not on his skin). My older son was also out for 1 day but it was before the weekend so he had a couple extra days to heal.
Anon in NYC says
Probably, but this is definitely a play it by ear scenario. Does your pediatrician have weekend hours? I’d see if you can make an appointment for Saturday, and get a doctor’s note that your kid can return.
My daughter had HFM and was out of daycare for an entire week. Even when she returned (and was technically fine), she was cranky and out of sorts.
Delta Dawn says
My DS has had this twice and both times was out for a couple of days of school, then after the weekend was fine for Monday. Reading the other comments, I think this is a shorter bout of HFM than many kids have. I second the advice to try to get in at your pediatrician and see if you can get a doctor’s note, if she’s good to go back on Monday. But I would guess that she’ll be good to go back by then.
Anonymous says
Our daycare requires a dr note to return with a rash. Our dr said by the rash stage it’s not contagious, and so signed off on return once the fever was gone even though the rash was still present. FWIW the rashes my kids got never scabbed. They were more like red freckles.
Anonymous says
Thanks all. We actually ended up in the ER because fever was so high and sudden, I think they gave me something that said once fever is gone for 24 hours she can return. Ped does have saturday hours so I’ll keep that in mind…
Anon says
Please get a drs note to return and don’t push it if you’re on the edge of contagious. HFM spreads like wildfire in daycares and most kids are out for a full week…. if you can at all afford the extra day to stay home, those of us who struggle to be off an entire week would be grateful.
Anon says
Sorry that might sound a little harsher than I meant it. I’m coming from a place of my kids being home for two weeks (one week each, but of course not overlapping) earlier this year, and then a note came home this morning that HFM is in my youngest’s class AGAIN. Between that and the severe colds/flus that went around in Jan/Feb, DH and I are almost out of PTO and coverage options and it’s only June.
Anonymous says
Obviously I won’t take her into daycare if she’s contagious!! And clearly I completely understand – Out of PTO ourselves and my mom is filling in to get us through this week.
Anonymous says
Our daycare also required the rash to be scabbed over. Our kid came down with it Monday night and was back in daycare Thursday morning, which was the same timing as most of the kids in the center (all but 2 caught it).
SC says
My kid had the first HFM symptoms on Wednesday and was back at school on Monday.
blueberries says
for preg anon (threading not workig for me on mobile for either site now)
-private cord banking seems like a good way to relieve you of money without much chance of benefit. public banking/donation to science is free and easy (but do look into it before birth—it’s helpful to have arrangements in place)
-check with your ob on potential harms of placenta encapsulation.
ElisaR says
“relieve you of money” me chuckle
Rainy Day Post says
It is a rainy day in my neck of the woods, so I thought I’d ask kind of a fun question that’s been in the back of my mind. How do people recommending visiting Europe with preschool age kids (3.5+). All sorts of thoughts and advice are welcome – places to go, places to stay, adjusting to the time, eating, packing, etc.
Cb says
My kid is smaller and we’re in the UK so the continent seems like less of an ordeal but friends who have done it tend to stay in a flat or a resort where there are apartments. You want room for kiddo to move around / you don’t want to have to sit in the dark after they go to bed. Certain cities are better than others – I’ve heard really great things about Berlin and Copenhagen with kids. I see tourists in Edinburgh with little ones and just think it might be a bit hard with the hills and cobblestones and the terrible, terrible weather.
Anonymous says
I’ve only been once, with a young toddler (15 months), so not exactly a pro and not that familiar with preschoolers. But for us the the time change wasn’t a big deal at all – kiddo adapted much faster than the adults. With a kid who still naps, I highly recommend splurging on a nicer than normal hotel room (preferably with a view) so you’ll still enjoy the trip even if you end up spending a lot of time in the room.
I’d recommend going somewhere where there’s not a ton of stuff you feel like you absolutely have to do, because even 3 year olds aren’t going to be up for a full day of museum hopping. We went to Tuscany and it was incredible because all we wanted to do was relax and soak up the views (and eat and drink). I think if we’d gone to say, Rome, we would have felt stressed and guilty about not getting to all the major sites. A city where you’ve been before could also be a good option, so you won’t feel obligated to do so much every day.
In general, I think most of Europe is more kid-friendly than the US. Europeans tend to take their kids along on adult-centric trips more than Americans do, so they don’t tend to be annoyed if you bring your kids to nicer restaurants or museums or places that Americans might not think of as appropriate for kids.
Anonymous says
Depending on your kid, I think if you stay in a hotel, it helps to get a suite of some sorts, otherwise to look for a Air BnB. My oldest still goes to sleep at 7 so traveling with her is really difficult if we don’t have a separate room to retreat to (was easier when she was a teeny baby and could fall asleep anywhere).
shortperson says
european museums are super kid friendly so that’s what we usually do. and we track down great playgrounds too. and eat lots of pastries and ice cream.
shortperson says
yes and an airbnb is ideal with the tiny hotel rooms there. if your kids are still in the huge carseats and you can plan the trip such that you wont take a car, that would also be ideal.
Anonymous says
Has anyone done Lisbon with toddlers? We’re thinking of doing that next year and are debating if we could bring the stroller (and rely on stroller naps) or if the cobblestones and steps make a stroller a horrible idea.
Anonymous says
Was just there-without my kids but saw tons of families. It’s doable although the hilly parts are not too peasant with a stroller.
Double stroller recs says
We just had our third. Older kids are almost 5 and 23 months. We have a Joovy caboose whochbwe used wishing #2 was born, but it won’t work right now for baby and middle (middle does NOT want the back seat or the bench, but baby has to be in the bucket which can only go up front). We have a lot of stuff planned for this summer that will require some degree of stroller-ing, so I’m OK spending $$ on a used double stroller. Yes, we could put baby in a bjorn and the older 2 (or just the 2 y/o) in the stroller we have, but that’s not ideal.
What’s a decent double that is side-by-side and works with a chicco keyfit 30 bucket? The choices are overwhelming. We’re in the burbs, so fold-flat for easy car transport would be ideal, but I’m otherwose not too picky. Nice if it works well for jogging but not a must have. Will mainly be for theme parks/zoos/long walks in beach towns.
ElisaR says
i’m not certain it works with the chicco keyfit 30 bucket, but I am ordering the City Mini GT double after a few months of deliberation today…..
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’m looking at this double stroller as well, after recommendations from here. Do you happen to know if the UppaBaby Mesa carseat can be adapted to fit on this? I vaguely recall you mentioning that you may have a Cruz or were looking at the Vista.
ElisaR says
Yes that’s me, I was looking pretty seriously at the Vista. I have hemmed and hawed so long that my son is now 6 months old so I won’t need to put the carseat in the stroller anymore….. I have a Britax B-Safe though so I’m not sure about if the Mesa works.
Anonymous says
I’m pretty sure it doesn’t. There are a few used ones for sale near me and I can’t find the adapter for the bucket, so I assume it won’t work. The models for sale are slightly older but the new ones for sure do not per the online manual.
anon says
I loved my City Mini double. We got it when DD was 4 months and I didn’t buy the adapter, but it was a great stroller.
rosie says
I’ve heard good things about the Mountain Buggy Duet & it looks like it has an adapter to work w/Keyfit.
Double Jogger says
HI! Friendly neighborhood ‘weirdly into double strollers’ lady here!
I had a slightly different age span, but I had 18 months, 2.5 and 4 and ended up with a bob double jogger. It’s a BEAST, no doubt, but I absolutely love love love it. The giant compartment underneath is just stellar for bringing ALL THE THINGS which is what I need and the seats will be tall enough to fit the 5 year old. The bonus is that you can actually run with it (key for my personal sanity).
My SIL has two sets of twins – 4 months and 3 years – and ended up with a mountain buggy double which is slightly narrower but also a dream to push with just one hand.
For me, when I have had kids with your age spread (long story, I am very lucky to have a lot of kiddos in my life), I wear the baby and then have the double Bob as an option to have both ‘big’ kids in. It works well and then I don’t need to sherpa all our stuff around all day.
I considered the city select or the vista for the tandem capacity, but ultimately I love that the side by side doubles fit bigger kids in them.
Delta Dawn says
I know you asked for a side by side, but if a front/back double stroller that allows bigger child to go in front would work, I can recommend the Chicco Cortina Together. It fits the Keyfit 30. I have this and make this suggestion because it sounds like your bigger child only wants to sit in front, and your current stroller will only allow the baby bucket up front, if I’m understanding correctly? The Together will let you reconfigure the seats however you want: two buckets, two bigger kids, or one of each in either position (front or back). In other words, your bigger child could sit up front and the Keyfit could be in back, or opposite, if you wanted.
Anonymous says
Seconding the double City Mini GT as a great stroller and also, are you attached to having the bucket snap in and out? We had good luck just putting our newborn into a normal seat reclined all the way back.
Under-performing Coworker says
I don’t know what my question is, but something doesn’t seem right about this situation. I’d like input on what others would do, if anything. I am an attorney in a law firm, so my life is based on the billable hour model. About 35 attorneys total, with about six associates. I am an associate. There are three associates in my department – I have been there for about 6.5 years, then a 4 year associate, and a new baby lawyer. About two years ago after having my baby, I negotiated a decrease in my billable hour requirement from 1800/year to 1500/year. So about 83%. Because of the compensation structure at my office, my base salary didn’t change, but my bonus situation did. Basically, I’d say my firm’s usual associate compensation rate plus overhead is covered by about 1400 hours of work, and the rest is paid out in quarterly bonuses if you work enough. Since making the switch, I’ve definitely been treated as part-time. My yearly raises have been cut in half, and my bonuses are sporadic. I definitely get the economics of this and reap the benefits of being part-time at home with my family. My issue is this – the 4 year associate in my department seriously under-performs. Most months, I bill more than he does, his work is lacking, and he manages deadlines poorly. Whether I should know those things are not might be another issue, but they’re not exactly a secret. He has a reputation, but the firm hasn’t totally lost hope on him I guess because they’re not ready to do something about it. I also know that he rarely receives bonuses other than maybe a token at the end of the year. Bonuses don’t appear to be enough of an incentive to get him to work better/more/harder (I suspect because he gets gobs of money from his parents, including long term investments for retirement.) I have no clue what his raises are.
But the bottom line is that I’m sick of being treated as part-time when he is full time and I consistently out-perform him. Because of the whole base salary/bonus thing, I do truly believe (but don’t know) that I likely still make more. But I bust my butt to make my hours with quality work and live up to my home commitments (which aren’t small since I am part-time with the thought that I’ll pick up some slack at home). I’m just sick of working harder than him to be part-time, and him having no true consequence. I think what I might want is a bigger raise at my review in a few months, which I have no problem asking for. But is that enough? Sometimes I think being part-time really isn’t even worth it, but it truly does make my life less stressful (despite the busting my butt comment above).
anon says
I think you have to compare your situation to what your life would be like if you were full-time. Because if everyone knows that he is a terrible associate, his future progress/promotion will reflect that. When I went part-time, I was definitely aware that other associates were billing less than me and were still full-time. But I wouldn’t have been able to be full-time and not meet hours/expectations (both from a personal perspective and also from the perspective of career advancement), so for me, it was a better option to go part-time and cut my expectations, but do a stellar job at it, because I felt like I was in it for the long-haul. That said, if I weren’t planning to stick around, maybe I would have stayed full-time and coasted a little. So part of it depends on what you to do with your job at this place.
Anonymous says
+1
This is good advice. As frustrating as his slacking is, it does you no favors to compare yourself to him.
That being said, if you aren’t getting ~80% of the compensation you would be if you were full time, you could address that issue, unrelated to your lazy-bones co-worker. As sucky as the billable hour model is for somethings, it does help when addressing the fairness of a reduced schedule (for all parties).
Anon for this says
Being totally honest here, I would feel exactly the same way as you. I had a similar situation where I had a lower title and salary than at least one underperforming guy on my old team (he was the one who told people his salary, so I didn’t feel bad that I knew). I did repeatedly ask about opportunities for advancement to my then-boss and was given lip service. I worried that people (especially clients who just knew him based on his title) would assume I was less competent or wouldn’t give my work as much credit.
In the end, I was promoted several levels, so I got the title recognition I deserved. Senior management had noticed my work. My salary is still not what I’d like, but my rule for that is: put in the work that you feel you are compensated for. Since you’re on the billable hour model, that’s pretty clear and seems to be what you’re doing.
EP-er says
I think that this is about changing your perspective and not comparing yourself to him. He is irrelevant to the equation on how much work you do and whether or not you feel that you are being fairly compensated. It is really hard to do, though…. I was part time for 5 years. I didn’t do long lunches or hang out at the coffee station because I knew I had to do my work and get everything done within my allotted hours. I know that I was more productive than other full time people. But on balance, it was worth it to me to have a better home life. Like you said “It truly does make my life less stressful.” Focus on that. The other associate will get what is coming to him, commensurate to the work he puts in.
Anonymous says
This? This right here is why I would never go part-time in a law firm model that did not strictly enforce their hours requirement (and by strictly, I mean a zero tolerance policy – and frankly I’ve never heard that such a firm exists).
Anonymous says
agreed. volunteering to take a pay cut and having the stigma of being on flex-time does not seem worth it to me, when every law firm has handfuls of (male) associates and partners who consistently don’t meet the minimum requirements yet get paid at 100%.
Placenta says
Look for article by doula concerned that placenta ingestion inhibits breast milk supply development. No idea if the science is accurate but if you want to nurse, seems worth a discussion with your doctor/midwife.