2018 Update: You may want to check out some of our more recent stories about bedtime, including our recent post on how to get your kids to sleep.
My younger son (H, 25 months) is the night owl in the family — on nights when my husband and I give in to sleep on the earlier side, like 10:00, H is often the last one left standing. He doesn’t scream, or fight — we say goodnight, leave him in his crib, and then hear him laughing, playing, singing. We’ve tried stuffies, blankets, pillows, and light-up crib toys like Glowbear — but they all go flying across the room in a semi-violent manner, which H thinks is hilarious. (Another possible component here: We also call him Sir Poops a Lot because he frequently will poop at least once after being put down to sleep.) ANYHOO: We recently bought this nightlight for him, hoping he would lie down long enough to fall asleep, and now I kind of want one for myself, because the lights really are lovely and soothing. I also like that it automatically shuts off after one hour and can connect with your iPhone via Bluetooth to play your own music. It’s $21.95 at Amazon. Aurora Borealis Nightlight by Deneve
(L-3)
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Batgirl says
New mom here — looking for recommendations (websites, books, etc) for information on infant development and milestones. Our six week old is awesome, but I’m worried we aren’t doing enough with him in terms of stimulating his little brain. Thanks for any tips in advance!
anon says
At six weeks, just being awake in a room with people is pleeeeeeenty of stimulation! Ours was still totally overwhelmed by things like a play mat at that age. But we found Baby 411 helpful with regard to basic development, and What to Expect – the First Year.
RDC says
If you’re really looking for ideas, the book “slow and steady, get me ready” has weekly activities from birth to 5 yrs. I flipped through it but felt like (at least In the early months) we were doing many of the activities naturally. They were pretty basic things you do anyways — dangle toys for baby to bat at, put things in and out of a box. I agree with anon – just regular life is plenty of stimulation, no need for special “enrichment”.
mascot says
It’s been a while so I don’t have any recent books. But, really, don’t worry that you aren’t stimulating him enough. Unless you are locking him in a soundproof, dark closet 24/7, he’s getting plenty of stimulation. Baby humans are remarkable little creatures. Just observing his world, hearing words being spoken, getting plenty of snuggles and physical touch- these are all great things for baby development. He’s going to develop at his own pace so don’t worry too much if he’s ahead/behind of what the books say. One thing that I did try to do more off when baby got a little older was to narrate the environment a bit more so that he could learn the names of things. It took some getting used to, but may have worked too well because now I have a 5 y.o. who asks questions non-stop.
Betty says
Zero to Three is a great website. But I will agree with others that you are probably doing all that you need to just by interacting with your child. Both of my kiddos liked being carried, so I would throw them in a carrier (Ergo or Moby) and go about my day. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation kicking in, but I also thoroughly enjoyed just talking to each of them even though they couldn’t really respond.
Batgirl says
Thanks, that’s encouraging! I should have clarified that I really meant that I was looking for info to take me through the first year rather than to just find things for him now (though I was a little worried we weren’t doing enough tummy time or book-reading). Thanks for the tips!
Anon in NYC says
I was fairly anxious about stuff like this, and honestly, I found that google was my friend. I didn’t have the time/patience/energy to read books on this stuff. I generally found that websites from places that I recognized (Dr. Sears, Parents magazine, etc.) had reasonable enough info.
That said, in the early months, a lot of what we did was the activity mat, we read our LO a bunch of books (even when she was not at all responsive), we talked to her a bunch (narrating events, mostly), and we got outside a lot. I was worried about tummy time as well, especially because our LO hated it, and we just persisted and tried different types of tummy time to make it slightly more enjoyable for her (like on her changing table, or on one of us, etc.). At most we did it a couple of times a day but only for like 5 minutes at a time (max).
Anonn says
I received a subscription to Growing Child from my Mom as a gift, and it’s wonderful. A monthly newsletter (I recieve by email) with short pieces about your child’s development and ideas for DIY enrichment. It is reassuring in tone and I really like it- it is short and not a hassle to read. Also a very affordable gift. (under $30 for monthly newsletters up to age 6). You can get a sample corresponding to your child’s age at the website.
NewMomAnon says
Have you found the Wonderweeks app? It’s based on a book but I never read the book….it tells you approximately what is going on in your kiddo’s brain during each phase of the first year (plus a few months) and predicts sleep disruptions and grumpy phases.
Frozen Peach says
The Wonder Weeks book has been our bible for this stuff. Also +1 to Dr. Sears for detailed info about different stages of development.
Batgirl says
I’ll check that out, thank you!
Anonymous says
I’d read Baby Meets World: Suck, Smile, Touch, Toddle by Nicholas Day. It’s sort of a natural history of babies. He gets into what we actually know about babies and also HOW we know it — most of the “milestones” and “path of development” are cultural artifacts. It’s fascinating and really made me much more relaxed about my daughter reaching milestones. And it gets into the things that are TRULY important — shared attention, positive caretaker affect, physical affection, etc.
Anonymous says
I like janet Lansbury’s website for parenting tips (newborn to toddler) and the science of mom website for information on subjects that made me feel anxious as a new mom (like nutrition, sleep, and vaccine schedule)
EB0220 says
I like Janet Lansbury, too, possibly because I always picture ANGELA Lansbury, circa Murder She Wrote, sitting at her typewriter composing the articles.
RDC says
Happy Friday! Second-kid question here. When do you start talking about the new baby with the older sibling? We’re expecting our second in January, when my son will be just over 2 yrs. We got a couple “big brother” books to read with him, but I’m not sure when to start with that. It seems like starting to read the books now wouldn’t make any sense to him, and 6-7 months from now is an eternity for a toddler. Wait until much closer to then? Until I’m more visibly pregnant?
Betty says
We waited until I was visibly pregnant to start talking to our oldest about a new sibling (he was 2.5 when she was born). Once it was apparent that I was changing (like 5/6 months), we started talking to him. We read books and talked about the baby in a positive tone and tried to set the tone for a positive relationship. (If you have the inclination, I would highly recommend reading/listening to Siblings Without Rivalry now before baby arrives.) We tried to use concrete markers about when the new sibling would arrive, so for you, if you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah, you could explain that the baby will likely arrive after Christmas or Hanukkah.
Meg Murry says
Honestly, I’d just start talking about babies in general and people that have brothers and sisters (explaining that Aunt So-and-so is mommy’s sister, that means they have the same mommy and they lived in the same house when they were little girls), and wait until 6-7 months to get into it. And even still he might not “get” it – a friend is having a baby, and her just turned 3 year old is starting to get that there will be a new baby, but she seems to think the baby is coming for a visit, not staying permanently, no matter what her parents and grandparents tell her or read to her.
For a fun kid’s book, “Franklin’s baby sister” shows a kid waiting for what seems like forever to him until spring when the baby arrives – that’s how I bet a lot of kids would see it.
Also, if you are going to transition him out of a crib, move his room or other things like that, you probably want to separate it from discussion about the baby – move him to a toddler bed because he’s a big boy, not because you need it for the baby, etc.
JLK says
I just had my second and we told my first really early on- like at 10 weeks. We let her tell the family at Christmas (at approx 11 weeks).
She was just over 2 then, and it took a good month or so to socialize the concept of “baby”; she got a baby doll for Christmas which helped, and in the sprig several kids at daycare got new sibs. We read several Big Sister books and she’d been very involved in baby prep, even helped “paint” her brothers room and shop for new boy clothes.
Our kid is pretty mature in the she understood back in December that baby was coming “in a long time, after grandmas birthday, after mommys birthday, after aunt’s birthday and after dads birthday, in the hot summer.” when it started to warm up, I got “it’s hot summer! Is my baby brother here??” Daily (for about 3 weeks) until The Arrival :-)
pockets says
Daniel Tiger gets a sister in season 2, and the episodes are cute and informative (Daniel gets angry when his parents have to attend to the new baby, etc.). After watching it my then 22 month old told me constantly that she wanted a baby sister.
BTanon says
+1 Every toddler I know wants a baby sister named Margaret.
AnonMN says
+1 there was a noticable difference in my toddler after he watched the episode where Daniel has to wait because of baby Margaret’s needs. It’s like it helped it “click” a little bit for him that his baby brother had needs to.
Edna Mazur says
We told my oldest (15 months when youngest was born) right away but to be fair I don’t think he ever got it. If you asked where his baby was he knew to pat mama but he got my boobs or legs more often than my tummy.
I come from a pretty large family and my mom never told us until a few weeks before hand so we wouldn’t keep bugging her about when was the baby coming, so at like 8 months. I had no idea with the youngest until I was told (at age 4). Not sure if the older one did who was 6. We must have been exceptionally unobservant.
Probably a know your kid thing…
lucy stone says
I posted yesterday about a scheduled c-section due to possible large birth weight and want to thank everyone for their responses! I got caught up in work and didn’t have a chance to come back and read them until today, but I appreciate each and every one of you who took time to respond.
To answer a few questions, the baby’s head is currently measuring at 38 weeks. We are going to have another ultrasound in 3-4 weeks to reevaluate her size and make a final decision, so my OB isn’t pushing me to make one now at all. I’ll see her 4 more times before I need to make a decision. My husband was a 8 lb 6oz, 20″ baby. I was a 10 lb 12 oz 23″ baby. My cousins on one side were also all giant babies. I have a slightly wonky pelvis and severe scoliosis. I am overweight but miraculously do not have GD.