CorporetteMoms

Updated: Nov 1, 2018 108 Comments · by

Everyone Thursday: Vintage Leather Tote

Everyone· Recent Recs

This post may contain affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Vintage Leather Tote I am not familiar with this brand, but all of their products on Amazon a) look great, b) are hiiiighly rated with many customer reviews, c) are mostly under $100, d) come in a bunch of colors, and e) are “genuine grain cow leather,” which usually means they’ll be pretty durable. I like this satchel in brown the best, but I also like it in black and red. It’s $89 at Amazon, and eligible for Prime. Jack&Chris Vintage Leather Tote (L-2)

✨✨✨Sales of note for Cyber Monday 2023✨✨✨

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Amazon – Up to 25% off car seats, strollers and more from Britax & BOB Gear
  • BabyJogger – 25% off everything
  • Bloomingdale’s – 20% off on select UppaBaby, Maxi-Cosi, Stokke, Bugaboo, Thule, and more
  • Carter’s – 50-60% off entire site; extra 20% off cyber deals with code
  • Crate & Kids – Up to 50% off everything plus free shipping sitewide; save 10% off full price items
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – 50% off everything + free shipping
  • Hanna Andersson – 50% off everything + extra 20% off clearance
  • ErgoBaby – 40% off Omni Breeze Carrier, 25% off Evolve 3-in-1 bouncer, $100 off Metro+Stroller
  • Graco – Up to 30% off car seats
  • Nordstrom – Big deals on CRANE BABY, Joolz, Baby Jogger Summit, Petunia Pickle Bottom, TWELVElittle and Posh Peanut
  • Old Navy – 50% off everything, ends today
  • SNOO / Happiest Baby – 35% off SNOO, up to 60% sitewide (ends today)
  • Target – Up to 40% off nursery furniture, plus sales on HALO Innovations, Graco, activity gyms, and Safety 1st strollers and cribs
  • Pottery Barn Baby – Up to 70% off toys, gifts, plyaroom furniture and more
  • Strolleria – Save 20% on select UPPABaby strollers, up to 25% off Bugaboo, up to 50% off Joolz, and additional deals on Silver Cross, Veer, Doona, Wonderfold, dadada, Clek, and Thule
  • Walmart – Savings on Maxi-Cosi car seats, adventure wagons, rocker recliners, security cameras and more!

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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!

Comments

  1. Anon in NYC says

    Twin gifts question. My friend is pregnant with twins (boy/girl) and these will be her second and third babies. We’ve offered baby gear and clothes, and they said that they are mostly set with gear but were happy to take clothes. Obviously we’d like to get them gifts for when the babies arrive, but seeing as how they don’t need gear and we’re giving them a bunch of clothes, I’m not sure what to get.

    Any suggestions?

    • pockets says

      burp clothes with the twins’ names on them? It might be nice to have some personalized stuff.

    • mascot says

      Replacements of stuff that gets destroyed with regular use- burp cloths, towels, washcloths, bibs, etc.

    • Anonymous says

      I have this combination and we received matching onesies/t-shirts for all three kids. Our oldest loved it. Nice for her to feel included.

      I would also do some gender neutral matching outfits – with boy/girl twins everything tends to be very gendered.

      justmultiples (dot) com has lots of cute stuff.

    • Meg Murry says

      Can you give them something the whole family can use once the babies are born, like meals or snacks?

      Otherwise, as boring as it is, they probably would appreciate a nice card + Amazon, Target or other general gift card more than any “stuff” you could buy.

      Do you have kids yourself, and are you nearby? If you are nearby and the oldest is familiar with you, giving the oldest some attention like taking her to the playground would probably also be appreciated as much or more than “stuff”.

      • Anon in NYC says

        Our daughter is about 6 months younger than their oldest, but we’re unfortunately not close enough that he really knows us.

        I go back and forth between gifts that are really practical and ones that are cute and fun, but I know that I would prefer a more practical gift. I do like the idea of matching onesies/t-shirts for all three kids – I’ve been trying to figure out a way to include her oldest!

        • Anonymous says

          just multiples (dot) com has a section for siblings – there’s a t-shirt that says ‘big sister of twins’

    • goldy says

      Loveys? I love Jellycat stuffies for this purpose. Everyone gets his/her own.

    • MDMom says

      First suggestion, if they said they only want clothes, then just do that. Maybe coordinated outfits for all 3 kids as others have suggested. It drives me crazy when I say I don’t want gifts and people give me stuff anyway. I am not a neat/organized person and I hate the burden of ridding the house of unwanted clutter. 90 percent of the things my sister in law gives me go straight to goodwill. That said, if you must get something else, think consumables: gift card for restaurant or Amazon, coloring books etc for older child, things like that.

    • TBK says

      (1) Diapers; (2) gift card to Target or Amazon; (3) something with the kids’ names on them (we got our twins this blanket – link to follow – from Lands End. We had them monogrammed so the kids won’t fight over them. They work in their cribs now but I figure can serve as throws forever. And they’re really really soft).

      • hoola hoopa says

        +1 to all three suggestions. I’d also add (4) gift card to easy take-out.

        With my 2nd and 3rd kids, I was ridiculously excited to get diapers. There’s always random stuff you need. My three kids are crazy territorial of their personalized blankets. They are like “Carter’s Valboa Blanket” at BRU. Great size. They like the pattern on one side and fluffy on the other. I think they were personalized elsewhere.

        • hoola hoopa says

          And do bring something for the oldest. Must be independent and quiet.

  2. octagon says

    The recent discussions on baby weight have me wondering: how do you know if you have diastasis recti? Is it obvious or does a doctor need to diagnose it?

    I still look quite pregnant and all the weight I have left to lose is in my midsection. It’s almost like things just didn’t shrink back to size.

    • Anonymous says

      I couldn’t really figure it out myself, but my OB easily could when I asked about it at a check-up. Theoretically, if you lie down on the floor and crunch upward a few inches and feel separation in the vertical line in the middle of your abdomen, you’ve got it. Youtube can probably explain better than I can. My OB gave me an rx for a physical therapist (pelvic floor specialist who also helped with some other relatively minor, typical postpartum issues…), who gave me a specific exercise to do several times a day to “re-train” my muscles, and it is hard to overstate how much of a difference it made. I had a relatively small gap, but it was essentially gone in a matter of weeks. Highly recommend giving it a shot. Though I do still have a pooch of extra skin, which I don’t think is going away anytime soon, alas…

    • RDC says

      I went to a PT who focused on women and she determined that I did not have it, but gave me some exercises anyway that helped improve my core strength and get things a bit back in their original position. I think it’s worth seeing someone either way – even if you don’t have diastasis recti, if you’re not happy with the situation, some exercises may help. Mostly it just took time, though. I never quite got back to my pre-preg shape and then got pregnant again.

    • MDMom says

      There are youtube videos. I asked my midwife at my 6 week appointment and she said I had a 2 finger separation, nothing major. I just checked recently last month (12 months) and it was like 1 finger so definitely improved. But when I do a crunch or similar, my abs form kind of a point in the middle-this is a hallmark of disastasis. That still happens. At the same time, I can do a plank for at least 60 seconds and dont pee when I sneeze so I don’t think my core is particularly weak. My issues are really just aesthetic. I have a regular appointment tomorrow and am going to check with midwife about it again.

      • Anonymous says

        Hmm I have this too– the point and I can feel separation. I’m 7 months pp– will it go away?

        • MDMom says

          For me the separation is minimal now (1 finger) but some pointiness remains at 13 months. I just asked my husband (a doctor) about it and he said it will probably stay like that for a while. It’s due to the connective tissue stretching out. No amount of exercise can fix it. But if you keep in relatively good shape it will probably eventually regrow, over the course of many years.

          I did exercises I found on the internet for diastasis. They were easy and reduced gap from 2 to 1.

          My main concern is just that I don’t want it to get worse in subsequent pregnancies.

    • wc says

      Lindsay Brin on You Tube has a video on how to detect it and a core video with exercises very similar to those prescribed by my PT.

  3. SC says

    Does anyone have any recommendations for an inexpensive umbrella stroller? I’m looking for something in between the $20 drug store stroller and the $170 UppaBaby G-Lite. We have an all-terrain stroller (necessary for regular streets and sidewalks in our city), but something smaller would be a nice addition. Ideally, it would be $60 or less.

    • AEK says

      I like our Summer Infant 3D Lite. We keep it in the trunk of the car and use it as the airplane / travel stroller too. Depending on the color, you can get it for $70/80; other colors are more. You might also get a deal on an older model.

      If you don’t care about a recline feature, though, I would spend less on a different stroller. The recline is what makes this one a good value.

      • AIMS says

        My mom has this one to keep in her house, I think it was around $72 from bed bath and beyond with a coupon. Very nice overall, my only complaint is the basket is a PIA to get to but less of an issue for my mom vs. if it was my full time city stroller.

        • AIMS says

          Oh, and it has a strap that goes over your shoulder which is nice if you have to get on a bus/train, etc., with baby.

    • Carrie M says

      Not what you asked, but my 2 cents: We bought one from Buy Buy Baby for about $60, and I hate it. The handles aren’t angled well, so I always kick the wheels. The straps are annoying. The storage is not good. Yes, it’s lightweight and folds up easily and that’s good for travel. But every time we use it, it makes me angry. I wish I had just dropped the money on a nicer umbrella. So if you’re going to use it for more than just travel or the occasional use, I would highly recommend getting a better quality umbrella stroller. We’re looking now for a second-hand UppaBaby G-Lite, and I will be SO happy to put this one on the curb or in the donation bin.

    • hoola hoopa says

      Honestly, we’ve been really happy with the $20 cheapo from BRU. It’s held up for 5+ years (3 kids), and I love the rotating sun visor. We have a city mini (and mini double), but parents and kids often prefer the cheapo.

    • JK says

      Just putting out there that I hate our Uppa Baby G-lite. It’s a huge pain to set up and collapse – it always takes me a few tries. My daughter pulls the canopy down over her face constantly, the canopy comes off of the frame, and the seat cushion is always sliding down. Do not recommend.

      • MDMom says

        In the expensive price range, wet just got the joovy groove ultralight and I really like it. We used a $100 gift card, so it only cost us $60. Absent the gift card, I was looking at the summer infant stroller mentioned above. It has good Amazon reviews.

      • NewMomAnon says

        I got the Inglesina Net after looking at the Joovy, Uppababy, SummerInfant, MacLaren, and Mountain Buggy umbrella strollers. I like it; it reclines, has a generous sun visor, collapses easily and into a small footprint, has a kickstand so it stands up when folded, and has a carry strap. Also a small cup holder and a fairly generous basket (for an umbrella stroller). You can remove the seat padding too, and the child can sit on the netting if it’s hot or the child is wet/sticky/potty training.

        Cons: At first, I did kick the back of it when walking. I’ve apparently adapted and don’t have that problem anymore. The sun visor also pops out of the track once in a while.

        I think it cost me $149 on Amazon; I got one of the older colors that is being replaced.

        • Katala says

          This sounds so much better than the SummerInfant. I don’t like ours that much. Sun visor is pretty useless and got bent somehow so doesn’t cover evenly, super difficult to get anything in/out of the basket, baby’s hot in the seat and I can’t get the recline back up without taking baby out.

    • Anonymous says

      I hate umbrella strollers. They are tippy and have no storage space. I got rid of mine and bought a city mini instead. Great easy fold but huge canopy. In Canada you can find them used for around $120; I’m sure in the USA you can find them for less.

  4. AEK says

    I want one of those snack containers for toddlers where they have to work to get the stuff out… what are those called? The ones where they have to turn it inside out to get at the Cheerios or whatever. Have been searching ofr “pouch” etc. and just getting results for food.

    • Carrie M says

      We have the Munchkin Snack Catcher – you can get a pack of two for fairly cheap. We use them often, but it’s still messy…somehow our toddler still grabs fistfuls of food that end up everywhere, or crushes the goldfish pulling them out of the rubber top so that crumbs are all over her.

      • JTX says

        OXO Tot also makes one called the flippy snack cup that is available on A-m-a-z-o-n.

    • Anonymous says

      Sooo like a Kong toy for babies? That’s hysterical. Sorry, nothing of substance to add…

  5. pockets says

    Does anyone know where I can buy those chocolate-covered eggs with a toy inside in bulk? I have unleashed a monster and can’t spend $3 on a plastic chocolate-covered, toy-stuffed egg every time I go to the corner market to get iced coffee.

    • anonima says

      do you mean Kinder eggs? they’re actually illegal in the US although I’ve seen them sold at specialty markets. They’re awesome though, I’ve been collecting them forever…

      • Anonymous says

        Are they really illegal?! I guess the toys inside are really tiny and a total choking hazard … but my husband brings them back for my kids every time he goes abroad.

      • pockets says

        Kinder eggs are illegal (and yet assault rifles are not) but another company – choco treasure – makes similar things that are legal. Amazon has them but maybe not such a good price? Also not sure how chocolate holds up when being shipped in 90 degree weather.

        • SoCalAtty says

          Oh for goodness sake yes they are. Check out the 1986 ban on assault weapons, still in force today. To get one, you’ll need an irrevocable gun trust, a tax stamp, and an interview with the ATF. What you are thinking of is the civilian replica, made to look like, but NOT function like, military assault weapons.

          Sorry to jump on that but I’m just so disappointed in the media on this one.

          • pockets says

            You’re right. Imprecise terminology is definitely the biggest problem with the gun control issue.

          • Anonymous says

            pretty sure the biggest problem with gun control is the complete lack of it, not whether or not the AR 15 is really an assault rifle or not. Name doesn’t matter, purpose does and the main purpose of AR15 is mass killing.

          • Lurker says

            There is one time the terminology really matters. If you want the AR 15 banned and you pass a law banning automatic rifles or assault rifles, you didn’t ban the AR 15. The people trying to pass the laws keep getting the language wrong (or the media) and legally, it will really matter.

          • TBK says

            No, the language matters. And the misperceptions perpetuated by the media matter. AR-15s do not “spray” bullets. They are not automatic weapons. Their purpose is accuracy, not “mass killing.” They are no more or less dangerous than any other semi-automatic weapon. They are, in fact, quite useful for certain types of hunting and precision shooting. They are involved in a large proportion of mass shootings because they are the most popular type of rifle, not because they are especially good at shooting lots of bullets at one time.

            If you want to ban all semi-automatic weapons, and if you understand what that means, including the fact that the vast majority of guns people own are semi-auto, and you know and are willing to undertake the steps necessary to effectuate a true ban, including understanding the values and mind-set of many people who own guns, then join the conversation. That’s a real conversation, based on real facts, that would be a great benefit to everyone.

            I am deeply conflicted when it comes to gun control. Probably more conflicted than I am on any other issue. But it makes me absolutely insane to see people spouting opinions who have absolutely no knowledge of guns. I have only the barest familiarity with them. (I know some guns are long and some are not, and many are black, but some are not. That’s kind of as far as it goes.) But even with as little as I know, I know that most people who talk about gun control are entirely misguided about the features of various guns and therefore their proposals don’t do what they want them to do. If you actually care, if you actually really want to pass laws that will result in fewer deaths, then you have to know the facts. You have to know what you’re actually talking about. The words matter. The understanding matters. If you don’t want to understand, then I can’t believe you actually care about passing real laws that actually do what you want them to do. If you don’t think the words matter, than all you care about is showing people that you care. And that’s not the same as being effective.

          • SoCalAtty says

            Thanks, TBK.

            MOST modern firearms are semi-automatic. If banned, that means all we would legally permitted to own would be bolt-action rifles or revolvers. Problem is, a skilled shooter can do just as much damage with those weapons than with an AR-15 or any other semiautomatic weapon.

            The only thing civilians are legally able to own right now are firearms that fire a single bullet to a single trigger press. That’s it. They fire the same speed as any other firearm – as fast as you can pull the trigger.

            The fact that no one really appears to want to understand what the word “assault rifle” really means, that an AR-15 is no more “deadly” than any other modern sporting rifle, and how firearms truly function tells me this isn’t about being effective, but rather putting on a show.

            There are LOTS of things we can do to help prevent tragedies like Orlando. Banning modern sporting rifles isn’t one of them.

        • SoCalAtty says

          Also, Anonymous up there – I use my AR-15 for competition shooting and hunting. The military version, the M4, is totally designed for mass killing. The AR-15 civilian model (which, PS, stands for “Armalite Rifle, the brand, kind of like Kleenex), not so much.

      • Anonymama says

        They actually have a slightly different version for sale in the US, with a bit of the plastic egg showing through the chocolate, I guess so it’s clear that it’s not all edible. I think I’ve seen them at cost plus world market.

        • Anonymous says

          The fact that kinder eggs are illegal in the USA is the subject of many memes involving gun control.

          • SoCalAtty says

            Many ignorant memes. But I guess “ignorant meme” is pretty redundant, eh?

          • Anonymous says

            It’s such a good example of how truly crazy pants the USA is about guns.

  6. Postpartum anxiety? says

    So, I’ve self-diagnosed myself with postpartum anxiety of some sort. Actually, I think I have had tendencies towards anxiety since before I was pregnant, but now (6 months postpartum) I feel that it has exacerbated. Probably hormones, breastfeeding, lack of sleep, and a crazy time at work don’t help.

    It is to the point that even when sleep deprived, I often have trouble sleeping at night because I can’t “shut off” my mind. Also, I have spurts of incredibly strong, unprovoked anger toward my husband, the closest person to me (never toward the baby, thankfully). To the point where I feel like I want to hit pillows and swear and scream just to let it out. Not often, but maybe once a week. At work and at home and with the baby, I’m stressed and sleep deprived but functional and actually really enjoy being a parent, being with the baby.

    I think it would help me to see someone. Last night, I asked my husband to call my ObGyn’s office to ask for recommendations as to where to go from here (I felt like I wanted to talk to a doctor, but wasn’t sure whether to start with my ObGyn, find a primary care physician, go straight to a psychiatrist, or what).

    I guess I’m asking if anyone has felt similarly? How did it work out for you? And also, I’d really appreciate any feedback as to whether this sounds like the right step to be taking (i.e., contacting my ObGyn first).

    • EB0220 says

      I will just ask so you can rule it out – do you have any physical symptoms such as high heart rate, headaches, tremors, weak legs? I felt kind of like this after my first and turned out that my thyroid was going crazy. I couldn’t concentrate, was so easily frustrated, couldn’t sleep, lost weight despite eating a ton, etc. Just something to consider…

      • Postpartum anxiety? says

        Good question, but no, I don’t think so. Eating a ton but not losing a lot of weight :)

    • anon says

      My OB was able to help with this- both with a referral to a therapist and being willing to prescribe medication. After 6 months of medication and a couple of therapy sessions, I was significantly improved and was able to discontinue both.

    • Anonn says

      I haven’t dealt specifically with post-partum anxiety, but have spent many years navigating the mental heath system (as anxious/depressed then diagnosed bipolar). I restarted my meds the day after delivery, which I think was really critical for me.

      The most expedient thing to do, in my experience, is go directly to a psychiatrist. You can call your OB for recommendations to start, but their info can be out of date, doctors not taking new patients, don’t accept your insurance, etc. My insurance, through various jobs, has never required me to see a PCP first. Go to your insurance’s website, find some doctors, and start calling. Depending on your area, it may take a bit to get an appointment, so ask to be put on the cancellation list. While a PCP or OB can prescribe psych meds, it is worth your while to see someone who’s job it is be aware of the most current meds and what might work for you.

      Don’t worry that your problem isn’t “big” enough for a psychiatrist, I know my current psych sees many patients for post-partum depression and anxiety. It is always really hard for me to do the work of making the phone calls and appointments when my anxiety is peaking, but you and your family are SO SO worth it.

      • NewMomAnon says

        One caveat on this: in my area, there is a 3 month wait to see a psychiatrist, but I can get a same day appointment at my OB. My OB started me on meds and got me an “expedited” appointment to a psych, but that psych visit was still 6 weeks out. Don’t wait that long!

    • Pita says

      This does sound like anxiety. A therapist can assess you and recommend a course of action. Asking your doctor, either your OB or your primary care, is a fine first step— I suspect they will suggest that you get an appointment with a therapist. You might want to get some recommendations now in case your doc doesn’t have a specific referral.

      I have been through something similar (including those anger outbursts and the nonstop thoughts at night) and have been seeing a therapist who also referred me to a psychiatrist for a consult. The psychiatrist recommended medication, which I am going to start in a few weeks when I am all done weaning. (There are drugs that are compatible with BF but the doctor did not think I was in such urgent need that there was any reason not to wait for a few weeks, since I’m going to therapy regularly too).

      Reaching out for help, and letting your husband know that you’re struggling, is totally the right thing to do. I hope you feel better very soon.

    • MDMom says

      My sister had anxiety after her second child. Hers manifested more in the form of panic attacks when out in public with her kids. She did go to a doctor and tried something, I think welbutrin. She had some kind of weird reaction to that and ended up in the er needing sedation. After that, she refused to try any more meds and I think just basically white knuckled it until her hormones leveled out, avoiding triggering situations like being in public with both kids by herself. She was fine by about 12 months out. Oddly, she didn’t have a problem with her first or third pregnancies, just the second.

      I don’t mean to scare you off meds- her reaction was really uncommon and I think she was lucky that her issues weren’t bad enough that she was a threat to herself or baby. One of my father’s cousins killed herself due to postpartum depression many years ago so my family is always hypervigilant about it. I think you are absolutely on the right track in asking obgyn for referral.

      Is there anything else you can change to reduce some of the stress in your life, like having husband take night duty so you can sleep more (sleep is so important for mental/emotional health), cutting back your hours at work, or having family come stay for a while to help out?

    • NewMomAnon says

      I would suggest you go talk to your OB. They may do some blood tests to check for hormonal issues, vitamin/mineral deficits, etc. They will also be able to get you an expedited appointment with a psychiatrist, and know of some good postpartum therapists (and may even make your first appointment for you). If you’re feeling overwhelmed, the OB’s office is a one-stop shop and probably the easiest way to go. Make an appointment right now! Don’t wait. It won’t get better on its own.

      Also, try some mindfulness/meditation strategies. I struggled with anxiety during pregnancy and after (and still now), and one of my best tools when I’m feeling out of control is to notice my breathing and focus on that for a while. Yoga and hard cardio have also been helpful in calming the chaos.

      Has it gotten better for me? Heck yeah. I was suicidal while pregnant and basically shut down all emotions for the first year after having a baby. I now can feel my feelings without being terrified, I feel valuable and (mostly) recognize the love I receive. I know that’s all really squishy, and I wouldn’t have understood it when I was in the worst of my anxiety, but the short answer is – yes. Therapy, medication, mindfulness, and exercise have made my life worth living.

    • Postpartum anxiety? says

      Thank you to everyone who has replied thus far. It’s really very good to hear advice and anecdotes.

      • Katala says

        If you have an Employee Assistance Program or the like through your/husband’s work, I found it was helpful to go through them because 1) certain number of free appointments and 2) they had a much shorter list of therapists who take my insurance than any other source. Not sure how they screen the names they give you but when I felt depressed, contacting the 5 they gave me after a 10 minute phone call was much less daunting than going through the insurance website, yelp, whatever. Good luck!

    • RDC says

      Everyone has given great advice. Just wanted to say I saw a therapist from about 7m pp through a year and it was hugely helpful to me. She didn’t formally “diagnose” PPD or ppa but talking with her made a huge difference. I understand it’s very normal for these issues to crop up a bit later, not right after birth. Good for you for getting the care you need.

    • Anonono says

      Wow this sounds like *exactly* how my PPD/PPA felt. Except with more crying. Are you crying a lot? It was a combination of the out of control waves of anger and then the debilitating crying that made me try to get help. Getting your husband to make the call to the OB seems very smart.

      A word of warning, my OB’s office told me “it’s not postpartum if it’s more than 6 months after the birth” (which is nonsense! how do you know how long i was depressed for before I called?!) and that was very disappointing to hear. I am pretty sure she meant, “It’s not categorized as PPD by the insurance company so you have to see your GP” but it would’ve been nice to hear that, instead of having the receptionist diagnose me.

    • PhilanthropyGirl says

      I had very similar issues, along with serious fatigue, irregular cycles, weight gain and so on. Mine started at about 6 months PP and ramped up until I started working with a doctor at 12 months PP. The anger was unbearable, not only toward my spouse, but toward my child as well – which was terrifying.

      I went to a DO who was recommended to me as experienced dealing with hormonal issues.

      My doctor addressed multiple issues, and coded it at PMS/fatigue, probably because of the PPD issue that far PP. My increasing vitamin D, supporting thyroid function, metabolizing estrogen and supplementing progesterone, I feel like a new person.

      If you don’t get reasonable answers from your OB, ask around for someone with experience treating PMS.

  7. Momata says

    Moms who b-fed: My son bit the heck out of me about ten days ago. It still hurts to nurse on that side. There is no exterior wound. The pain is sharp and inside the n!pple. Anyone have experience with this? Will it go away? Is there any reason to see a doctor?

    • TK says

      I would. 10 days is a long time. Might be an internal infection. Any pus or oozing form the n*pple? All of my n*pple related woes were easily diagnosed and treated when I saw someone.

      • Momata says

        Thanks for your response. No, no pus, oozing, or redness. It only hurts when he is nursing. This is my only n!pple-related woe (after nursing one kid for a year and now this kid for eleven months) so I am gratefully ignorant.

        • Meg Murry says

          Sharp pain that only hurts when nursing could also be thrush.

          Have you examined in a mirror to make sure you don’t actually have an exterior wound on the underside/strange angle that you can’t otherwise see easily?

          If it still hurts and isn’t going away or obviously decreasing, I’d say see someone – there could be something more going on.

    • hoola hoopa says

      I agree. Sharp pain 10 days later is cause for the doctor. Sounds like mastitis. Even my really (really) bad bites healed sooner than that.

    • October says

      The same thing happened to me… no external marks or redness, but pain (mostly shooting, but a bit of burning) when he nursed. I think it only lasted 4 or 5 days for me; one morning it was all of a sudden gone.

    • Katala says

      Could you be pregnant? Nursing is now painful for me in the way you describe, inside the nipple. Agree with mastitis too, I think I had a similar pain with that as well.

  8. East Coast West Coast says

    Thank you for the travel suggestions yesterday! I did some research and I really like the idea of going to a ski resort in Colorado. I think I found an awesome looking place and there’s no way I could afford it during ski season but looks like a good deal in summer.

    • Navy Lawyer says

      Yay! I was thinking the same thing – can’t yet afford the winter with double daycare bills. But one day…!

  9. lucy stone says

    My OB is recommending we consider a scheduled c-section due to estimated high birth weight. Has anyone done this? Pros/cons? They are predicting the baby will weigh at least 11 pounds and she’s concerned that if I do a trial of labor I may end up needing an emergency c.

    • JK says

      My anecdote from a similar situation: My baby was predicted to be over 10 pounds. My midwives told me women vaginally deliver babies that size all the time, but they recommended inducing at 41 weeks and 1 day so she wouldn’t get any bigger. My induction was hideously painful and the baby was in a bad position, my 3 attempts at epidurals failed, I spiked a fever and had meconium in the fluid and ended up with an emergency c section 22 hours after starting pitocin. I got an infection in the incision and ended up in the hospital for 10 days. After the infection cleared up, I had a pretty easy recovery and was doing pilates and weight-lifting 8 weeks post partum.

      If I had to do it over again, I think I would attempt a vaginal delivery only if I went into labor on my own. I would choose a scheduled c section over an induction for sure. By the way, those weight estimates are notoriously inaccurate – my kid was only 9 pounds 6 oz, but it was big enough for her to get stuck.

    • HSAL says

      Estimating birth weight can be off by SO MUCH. My doctor was saying 10+ pounds. When I got to the hospital, the examining doctor said “at least” 8 1/2 pounds. Baby HSAL was less than 8 pounds.

      • Spirograph says

        Same. I think the last estimate I heard for my first was 10+ lbs, and he was actually just shy of 7. The second was predicted at 11 lbs and was only 8. I think they figure weight as a function of length, but my babies were little string beans. Your build and baby’s head size and position have way more to do with the delivery than just weight, anyway.

        Discuss with your doctor, but if everything else looks good and potential high birth weight is the only reason she’s considering a scheduled C, that wouldn’t be reason enough for me to have major abdominal surgery when other options are available.

        • Anonymous says

          My SIL was the same – string bean babies! Her 10lb baby was an easy natural birth because he was super tall and skinny.

    • Manhattanite says

      Modern medicine is beautiful–much less maternal and baby mortality than there’d otherwise be. Trust your OB if she or he is trustworthy. Consider asking for a consult with one of your OB’s colleagues. Yes, c-section rates are too high. Yes, c-section recovery is more difficult than v@ginal (I’ve done one of each). Yes, c-sections are major surgery. But there’s really no good way to get a baby out of there. The point is to have a healthy baby at the end of the day.

      To be clear, I was disappointed with both birth experiences I had– the first required pitocin and I gave in to have an epidural that I hadn’t wanted. The second required a scheduled c-section bc of fear for the baby’s health. No c-section is definitely preferred. But I’ve got two beautiful healthy girls and that’s the endgame here.

      Anecdata here — I met someone who broke her pelvis delivering a large baby v@ginally. She was not tiny herself.

      • Jen says

        Counter anecdata…,my OB was pushing C-section and warning of an 11lb baby. I opted to wait.

        I’m not super large in frame, I’m about 5’7, but my family has big babies. My 5’6″ grandma had 3 babies over 10lbs, all vaginally, bless her heart.

        My baby came at 41+5 (with my OB doom-and-glooming with each passing day and getting no annoyed I didn’t want to induce). Baby was 9lbs 11oz, super quick deliver, minor tear. The first thing I said to my OB once baby’s health was confirmed was “I told you so!” And OB told me I made the right call.

        Fwiw I was also influenced by the very high c-section rage at the hosptial I delivered at…one of the hugest in the stage for no good reason.

    • TK says

      I did! It was unexpected advice after review of ultrasound during my 36 week appointment. In our case, baby’s body was proportionally larger than his head, so increased risk of shoulder dystocia and/or getting ‘stuck.’ I chose a scheduled ‘c’ date at around 38.5 weeks, but my ‘birth plan’ was to try a vaginal birth if I ended up going into labor before my selected date.

      Did not go into labor – baby was 9 lbs 7. Based upon lots of amnio fluid observed during C, I would likely not have gone into labor for at least another couple of weeks, so he would have been huge.

      There’s a good chance delivery would have been no big deal without complications to either baby or me … but scheduled C is sooo much preferred than an emergency C. We scheduled first thing in the morning – in at 6 am for surgery prep, baby born at 8:37. I was up and moving within 24 hours. On pain meds for about a week and half, none after. Baby nursed like a champ.

    • Anonymous says

      Obviously I don’t know you and your particular situation, but I would NOT agree to a scheduled c section in this circumstance. I pushed to have a c section with my first because by OB *thought* he was going to be large (based on ultrasound scans) but in fact he was more than 2 lbs less than the estimate. I may have ultimately needed a c section anyway for other reasons but I wish I had had more of an opportunity to attempt labor before that decision was made.

      There is an article on the NYTimes Well blog about this dated January 11, 2016. “When a Big Baby isn’t so Big”

    • hoola hoopa says

      I absolutely second the sentiment that for the vast majority of women, there’s no good way to get a baby out.

      Frankly, my advice is – given the information that you *may* have a large baby – would YOU rather have a planned c-section or try for vaginal birth that may result in an emergency c-section, knowing that some women birth large babies vaginally without any issue and some women receive an emergency c-section for ‘normal’ weight babies. There’s not really a right/wrong, only YOUR preference.

      I really like the idea of talking it through with a second OB (or particularly a midwife if there’s one in the clinic).

      • CHJ says

        +1. How do you feel about labor vs. C-section? I had to have a scheduled C-section due to fibroids, and I loved it. My experience was very similar to TK – showed up at 6 a.m., baby was here by 9 a.m. I was never all that connected to the idea of a vaginal delivery anyway, so not having to do that was a relief, TBH.

    • NewMomAnon says

      I struggle with this – there is so much second guessing of OBs by non-medical people. Have you googled “questions to ask before a C section”? My doula had a list of questions for us to ask if there were any interventions recommended during labor, and it was so empowering to have those prompts.

      I think one challenge you may now face if you don’t go the C section route is questioning yourself during labor, especially when things get hard (which they probably will, because it’s labor). Do what you have to do in order to be comfortable with your decision, and know that very few women have the “perfect” birth story. I gave birth va*inally, mostly in accordance with my birth preferences, and still felt traumatized afterward.

    • Betty says

      I will share my experiences: We did an ultrasound with my first at 36 weeks. I had put on a *decent* amount of weight by that point, and they estimated him to be over 8lbs at 36 weeks. Little dude was born 4 weeks later weighing 6lbs 3 oz. With my second, I went late and we did an ultrasound at 41 weeks where she measured in the 90+% for weight. She was 9+ lbs and I had an easy delivery with zero complications.

      The ultrasound predictions late in pregnancy can be notoriously off. I knew that my second could be on the big side and didn’t let that bother me. In the absence of gestational diabetes, I decided to trust that my body could grow a human that it could birth. The notion of babies being “too big” derives from the nineteenth century when women had vitamin deficiencies that could cause deformed pelvises. If I were in your shoes, I would seek out information and a second opinion. Also, one thing that I found (both research-wise and personal experience), was that birthing a larger baby meant that I actually suffered less trauma from the birth.

      • Anonymous says

        + 1 to a second opinion. I had twins and it was almost laughable how much the ultrasound weights varied depending on which tech was doing the measurements.

        If you are going to go the c-section route, I’d recommend a plan where you go into labor naturally and then head to the hospital and have the section. This means it may or may not your doctor that does the section. But at least you’ll know that baby was ready to come out. Going into labor naturally will improve your ability to breastfeed and make for an easier recovery as your body is ‘ready’ to have the baby.

        I wouldn’t agree to a section before 40 weeks for weight. If you are doing a scheduled section, there’s no reason they need to take the baby early. Weight might be a reasonable some OBs suggest a section but it’s not a reason to section early.

    • anon says

      I would just get as much information as you can on how they are estimating the weight, how certain they are about it, why they think they are certain. Our baby was estimated to be 7 lb and was 8.5 lb (not c-section, just totally inaccurate weight estimation. Did require vacuum, though, probably because of his 99th percentile head and my own narrow pelvis).

    • Meg Murry says

      Have you asked your doctor if you have any other risk factors other than the high birth weight? Could you ask if you could have another ultrasound to re-measure?

      Do you or your husband have a family history of large babies, or do you have gestational diabetes? Total ancedata, but I’ve never known a couple where both the mother and father and their siblings were all small to average babies and their child turned out multiple pounds heavier.

      So if you, your husband or your siblings were 9.5+ plus babies, I’d be far more likely to believe that this baby is large, even if it isn’t 11 lbs. If you were all in the 8.5 and under range, I’d ask for another ultrasound or re-check the calculations/dates, and/or discuss other risk factors with your OB.

      However, I think everyone else is also correct that there is always a chance of trying for a v@gnial delivery and ending up with an emergency c-section, vs starting with an scheduled C – which would upset you more, winding up with an emergency c, or having a scheduled C but then the baby didn’t turn out to be so big after all?

      • Anonymous says

        So from the other perspective: My baby was predicted to be big, but no one suggested to me a c-section. I am not small and was not a small baby (9 lbs 4 oz when I was born; 5’9 now and a size 10 pre pregnancy). My baby was 9’6 when she was born. I believe delivery fractured my tailbone, although no one in Canada would give me an X Ray as there is nothing you can do for a fractured tailbone. The injury made the first 6 weeks postpartum very difficult as it was obviously difficult to sit and nurse. According to my GP and Chiro, the way I was sitting caused my SI joint to become inflamed about 6 weeks postpartum (right when my tailbone was starting to heal). It became incredibly painful to walk and took months of regular Chiro and physio to fix.
        My next pregnancy I will at least want to discuss the option of a c-section.

    • kes says

      I did- my first was unplanned, but non-emergent, c section, and second was estimated at around 10 pounds so they recommended a scheduled c. I went along with it and they way overestimated his birthweight and found nearly no scar tissue inside- my ob actually said in the OR that I “totally could have had this baby vaginally” haha! I’m not stressing about it because I don’t want a big family and don’t have philosophical issues with c sections, and I actually had a really easy recovery, but from my anecdata (both of my kids and friends who have had babies that looked big on u/s) they seem to always overestimate the baby’s size. I don’t think I’m being helpful in any way- just that I had the repeat c for this reason, which turned out to be unnecessary, and it doesn’t bother me after the fact. Good luck! I know this is a tough one to wrestle with.

    • Anonymous says

      Gosh, this is hard, and I can sympathize. My baby was also estimated to have a high birth weight (10 lbs) and they hit the nail on the head, which I understand is far from a sure thing — he was exactly 10 lbs. Turns out I had developed gestational diabetes since the time they had initially tested me — and then for some reason made me do the test again the day I went into labor… awesome. It certainly colored the birth process for me — I was a lot more stressed out about the delivery than I was with the my first, but nobody suggested a C-section, although they did say that I was more likely to have to have an emergency C-section, which was pretty scary. I was so nervous that baby would get stuck and I’d be whisked away for an emergency C-section that I probably pushed harder and faster than I ought to have and was rewarded with some pretty good tears (still better than a C-section recovery though, I think). So, if I were to do it again, I would definitely still attempt not to have a C-section, and perhaps would work with a doula or someone who could help me not to freak out when it came time to push. I might also consider getting an induction at say, the 40-week mark? I figure an induction is probably better than a C-section? Just spitballing ideas to discuss with the doc and/or a doula that I wish I had considered when I was in your shoes. Good luck! And keep in mind that either way, the overwhelming odds are that everything goes well and you end up with a wonderful little baby after all the stress and hard work!

    • In House Lobbyist says

      Just wanted to add that my planned c-section was much better than my emergency c-section. My emergency was done so quickly my breech baby was stuck and I had to have extra incisions that requires a c-section the second time around. Everyone, including you, is much more calm with a planned one. I had an easier recovery with the planned one.

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  11. TK says

    Can’t see my earlier comment. Apologies to all if this posts twice.

    At my 36 week ultrasound they recommended I consider a scheduled C. Baby was large, and his body was bigger than head so increased risk of shoulder dystocia / getting ‘stuck.’ We picked a scheduled C date, and planned to try a vaginal delivery if I went into labor before then.

    Did not go into labor, and arrived on scheduled day at 6 am for pre-op prep. Baby was born via uncomplicated scheduled C section at 38.5 weeks, weighing 9 lbs 7 oz. If he had hung around another couple weeks, he would have been around 11.

    There’s a good chance all would have been fine if I’d waited to go into labor on my own … but a scheduled C is infinitely better than an emergency C. I was up and moving within 24 hours, on pain meds for only about a week and a half. Baby was totally healthy and nursed like a champ.

    • TBK says

      Re risk of shoulder dystocia / getting ‘stuck.’ — This happened when my cousin had her first baby and when I mentioned it to my OB friend she visibly blanched. Kid is okay but it can be really bad since it can result in baby getting stuck in a way that s/he can’t breathe, which can lead to brain damage. Apparently this is one of the risks that terrifies OBs.

      • TK says

        Yep, and increased risk was there not because little TK was ‘big,’ but rather because of his proportional measurements (larger body than head). The way it was explained to me was that you stretch as large as the head … when whatever comes next is larger, risk of this particular complication increases.

    • NewMomAnon says

      You know, I found labor to be so scary that in retrospect, I kind of wish I had been more open to the possibility of a scheduled C section. The concept of being able to prepare mentally for how it would look and feel and smell and sound, have it all done within a few hours, and then rest in the hospital for 5 days with nursery care and someone preparing food….it almost makes up for the incision. And I’ve had two major abdominal surgeries, so I know the special fear that is sneezing with a stomach full of staples.

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