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AwayEmily says
We are considering a public Montessori program for our wonderfully average in every way 3yo (she’s currently in a regular daycare). It’s a long shot she’d get in (lottery) but I have a general question about Montessori. Her favorite thing to do is be silly — stuff like pretending her shoe is a hat. She also loves to run around in a little pack with her friends laughing maniacally, and engage in complex pretend games with them. My only concern about Montessori is that there doesn’t seem to be that much room for silliness/pretend, if that makes sense? Pretty much every other aspect sounds great to me, but I’d be interested in hearing perspectives of people with more experience.
Montessori mom says
My 4 year old son goes to a private Montessori preschool. There are “work” periods where they do focus on their work- math, practical life, reading, sensorial, etc. My son’s school has 2 work periods in a day and each period lasts 1.5 hours. They have play time too where they can play outside/act silly, etc. My son has two 1-hour playtimes per day. I think it’s a great balance. He never went to daycare/preschool until this past September and we have noticed a huge positive change in him!
Mrs. Jones says
My son went to a Montessori preschool for 2 years and there was certainly opportunity to act silly.
Elle says
There is definitely time to be silly. My daughter and her friends do all sorts of pretend games at Montessori.
AnotherAnon says
DS is more silly/imaginative now than he was before he attended Montessori. He turns 2 next month, has been at Montessori since he was 18 months. It could just be developmental. Two things I love about our particular school (YMMV) is that they play outside a TON and they seem to have a lot of undirected play time in the afternoons. I know the mornings are more structured. Just my two cents. Good luck!
layered bob says
My experience is a little different because my three year old is in an AMI program for mornings only – I’m guessing that if it’s a public Montessori program it is neither AMI nor AMS but merely “Montessori inspired” and so might be more flexible?
In AMI schools there must be an uninterrupted three hour work period, and I would say there is not a lot of space for running around, loud laughter, or complex group games.
It is a good fit for us – my three year old loves the focus, the discipline, the independence, and then she goes to the park with her friends for two hours after school before rest time in the afternoon and runs around like a maniac, and spends the late afternoon in the complex pretend games you describe.
In a full day program they likely have the three hour work period in the morning and then more free play/group activities in the afternoon. Schools that all claim to be Montessori can vary so widely that I would really encourage observing for a whole day if you can so you can see the whole work cycle. Or if that’s room much/not allowed, ask – in my experience school directors are pretty forthcoming about how they do things and concerns you have.
Anon says
Can I just say that I love that you describe your kid as wonderfully average? I have the sweetest, most wonderful baby who has not hit a single milestone on the early side and it is so hard feeling like everyone is running this race about how advanced and gifted their kids are and I can’t even leave the starting line. Obviously most babies and kids aren’t super advanced, and many are somewhere close to average. But it feels like no one wants to admit to having an average kiddo.
AwayEmily says
That’s so nice of you to say and your baby sounds perfect and adorable.
EB0220 says
My older daughter went to traditional daycare, younger daughter has been in Montessori for 4+ years. I think there is a bit less emphasis on imaginary play in Montessori but they still have plenty of time for it. Our Montessori has two outside play periods a day where they run free and play all sorts of creative games. In the afternoon, they have a period where they can do creative play. The funny thing is that in my oldest’s room, the kitchen area was the most popular creative play area. In Montessori, they actually DO a lot of real kitchen stuff – cleaning, pouring, grinding coffee. Plus my kid’s Montessori room also has a “housekeeping” area with a play kitchen, play food, etc and they have about an hour in the afternoon to play there if they choose. So: I think it’s a question worth asking but overall I don’t think I’d worry about it too much.
AwayEmily says
Thanks, all! These are exactly the encouraging responses I was hoping for, and I will definitely schedule a visit to see what the specific schedule is like at the school we’re considering.
Anon says
Favorite instagram accounts to follow? Any mom ones that don’t rub you the wrong way?
AwayEmily says
I love Yellow Brick Home for design/DIY and a tiny bit of parent-related stuff (they have an adorable 1yo and are a little bit POOPCUP about her but it is tolerable!).
Rainbow Hair says
She’s not entirely a mom account, but I like Cosmic American on Insta. Her baby is so effin’ cute.
SG says
Naptimekitchen and Kids.eat.in.color
Anon says
Ugh, I am so tired of this term. I know people on this board find it hilarious, but it makes me feel really alienated like I’m not a “real” parent since I only have one kid.
Anon says
Threading fail. This was meant for the post above, referring to “poopcup”.
Anonymous says
What on earth is poopcup? What a hideous term.
Anonymous says
Right? When the poster above used it, I assume she meant the Instagrammer was oversharing about her kids’ bodily functions (which is also definitely a thing).
Anon says
Haha! I think we should change the term to mean this instead.
Spirograph says
Parent Of One Perfect Child Under Preschool age
I get why this feels mean, and I’m sorry you find it alienating and hurtful… but it’s the combination of one kid and under preschool age that makes this a thing that resonates with people who have either 2+ kids and/or at least one child older than 2. It’s about the naivete of newish parents; in the long term, it has nothing to do with one kid vs more.
If you have a second kid, you are likely to realize that a kid’s “easiness” is a crapshoot that is little impacted by your parenting, and if you have a kid older than 3, you’re likely to realize that all the good parenting in the world won’t stop them from making you want to tear your hair out sometime. Younger than ~3, they just are developmentally optimized to push all your buttons yet.
Full disclosure: I was totally a POOPCUP until my 2nd, not-as-easy kid was born. She was born before my oldest turned 3. I would have stopped being a POOPCUP at that point, regardless, because my sweet little boy turned into a crazy, willful preschooler.
Spirograph says
holy typos! under three, they are NOT developmentally optimized to push buttons.
AwayEmily says
yes exactly to all this! It’s how I saw it, too — it’s not about how many kids you have, it’s about how kids getting older just changes how much you can actually control about their personality/behavior. The number of kids always struck me as less important than the aging thing.
Anon says
My point is just that it’s needlessly condescending. As a parent of one under-3 year old it makes me feel like all parents of older kids are snarking about me behind my back.
Anonymous says
Not all parents of kids under 3 are POOPCUPS. Only smug, obnoxious parents who cluelessly believe that their children’s perfect behavior is the result of their own superior parenting skills.
AwayEmily says
Yes, exactly what Anonymous at 10:53 said. Most parents of kids under 3 who I know personally (and I suspect most who are on this board) are *not* like this at all. I am sorry to say that I kind of was, though (which is probably why the article resonated with me so much).
SC says
The term is needlessly condescending, and sounds pretty gross. On the other hand, the concept resonates. DH is one of 4 siblings. When SIL 1 had a baby, all us expert non-parents judged her so harshly. Then DH and I judged SIL 2. Then DH and I had our own kid, who’s now 3, and he bit his cousin and then me at Christmas, leading us to leave abruptly without opening presents. The more experienced parents were very kind about it–much kinder than we were when their 3-year-olds were out of control (but never bit anyone!) at Christmas. SIL 4 has a perfect 1-year-old, and she still judges the heck out of all of us.
Also, some great friends have an adorable kid who is turning 2 this week. The last couple of times they’ve been over, I’ve been like, “Oh, I can tell she’s almost 2.” They just change.
Anonymous says
FWIW, it’s so kid dependent!! I was a total POOPCUP but I had the worlds easiest kid and I knew it. My second is a hell raiser and It would have been a whole different world of she’d been my first. I know I wouldn’t have had 3!!
Anonymous says
OMG I love this term.
I have a friend who has a wife like this. Their kid is OMG so gifted and let me post about it. Kid is 8. Eight, y’all. I assume he will be living under an alias as an adult b/c there is not a thing about him that is not OMGSUPERFANTASTIC and very publicly shared.
Anonymous says
Oh. I confess I’d never really heard the term before, but it seems to refer to parents of very young kids trying to give advice to others, not about having only one kid vs multiple? The person who used it was referring to people who have a 1 year old child, and almost all 1 year olds are only children, unless they have a twin. I’m a mom of a 1 year old only child who is likely to stay that way, fwiw.
Anon says
It just really rubs me the wrong way. It’s always annoying for someone who has no experience in a particular area to be giving advice in that area, regardless of how many kids they have or how old they are. I know it’s supposed to be funny, but I don’t see the point in starting all of these “divisions” among parents. The term itself is also just gross.
Anonymous says
+1
Anonymous says
What term?
Anon says
“POOPCUP” – used by parents with multiple and/or older to kids to talk about “parents of one perfect child under preschool age.” Kat posted about it awhile back.
AwayEmily says
Aw, I’m sorry I made you feel alienated. I like the term specifically because I feel like it’s such a common experience. When I first read that article, my thought wasn’t “ugh, this describes so many people I know,” it was “oh good lord, this described ME for the first two years of my child’s life.” (I am very open to the idea that I was much more annoying as a first-time parent than most people, though!). I definitely won’t use it any the term any more, though, since it makes people feel bad.
GCA says
+1. I first heard it when my first was about 1, I think? At which point he was still a sunshine child* who would sample any food and no tantrum had ever darkened our door, and it occurred to me that I was in no way qualified to give anybody any parenting advice whatsoever!
Anonymous says
Exactly. My oldest was sleeping through the night by 4 months, ate everything and grew like a champ, and generally was a charming, easygoing baby & toddler. Our friends have a child a couple months older who has always been a terrible sleeper, on the small end of the growth charts, and was a colicky baby and a very feisty toddler to boot. They were having a tough time. I know DH and I gave them “helpful” tips about sleep training, new foods, soothing, and all kinds of other insufferable sh1t. It’s amazing they still speak to us!
My 2nd child was born a spitfire, and we very quickly realized that we’d been lucky, not good, the first time around.
CPA Lady says
Yep. I get what it means though– it’s that smug attitude where you are so inexperienced at parenting you think your child’s good qualities all come from your awesome parenting method! Not from their innate personality and abilities. POOPCUP-hood will eventually end even if you have an only, as your kid gets older and you realize how much of a cr@p shoot this whole parenting thing is.
I get more irritated by the parents of multiples who looooove talking to me about how “easy” it is when they only have one of their children with them for something. Then fake “apologize” to me about it. Cool, thanks. I get it, I’m not a real mom in your eyes. My kid is a barnacle though, and must be within 5-10 feet of me at all times or she will act like she is dying. I don’t find this “easy”, so I’m probably overly sensitive when someone tells me what a snap having an only is.
AwayEmily says
You are not being overly sensitive, that is super annoying.
Anonymous says
Huh, this is interesting, it never really occurred to me that talking about how only having one kid with me at a time would be offensive, so thanks to the two of you for pointing it out! Rereading this I sound sarcastic, but I really mean it.
I have two-year-old twins. Sometimes they’re great, sometimes they’re not. When I only have one I know that at most I’ll have one trantruming kid in public, not two, and I’ve definitely made comments about that being easier, but I definitely don’t consider parents of onlys to not be real parents.
CPA Lady says
It wouldn’t really bother me, because yes, I get that multiple kids are more difficult (especially twins!!), but the same lady brings it up repeatedly with me. And she’s got this attitude of “must be nice to just have one, wow your life must be sooooo easy!” that I find baffling, considering she chooses to have additional kids. It’s just one of those “know your audience” things. I am not Deeply Offended, just slightly irritated by it, and only that because it has happened repeatedly.
Anonymous says
whoops, sorry for the redundancy– I was posting at the same time as others! :)
CPA Lady says
^ And then I forgot to type in my name. TGIF.
anon says
as a parent of multiples, i don’t think that anyone means to imply that you aren’t a “real” parent if you have one child. i’m new mom of twins and i think it is the hardest thing i’ve ever done…do i think becoming a new mom of one is also really hard — yes i do. dh and i also say to ourselves every day, thank goodness we don’t have triplets because do I think being a triplet parent is probably a lot harder than being a twin parent – omg yes! but kids also have different personalities and different needs, so i’m sure there are some situations where having infant twins is harder than triplets, but generally i would say that infant twins are easier than infant triplets. though i don’t see why it has to be a contest! a non-twin parent (who happens to be into marathon running) once gave me this analogy – running a marathon is objectively hard (or at least most people think so), participating in an iron man is objectively harder…doesn’t mean running a marathon still isn’t hard!
lawsuited says
I am a mom of 2 singletons and thank my lucky stars I didn’t have twins. (I’m a twin and twins run in my mother’s side of the family so I was more preoccupied with the possibility of having twins than most.) I am absolutely, totally willing to concede that having infant twins is more difficult than having an infant singleton and I applaud all parents of multiples!
Eek says
Chiming in to say that as a parent of one infant, I feel smug about exactly nothing at this point in my life. I feel mostly like I’m drowning and simultaneously failing at everything. (Luckily this doesn’t seem to have impacted my LO much, as he’s cruising along just fine – but definitely not as a result of any awesome parenting methods.)
So maybe this “poopcup” thing sets in later, or maybe other people think I’m one now and I don’t know it – but if that’s the case, they definitely are seeing me differently than I see myself. Because I’m a huge mess.
And yes, I know it gets harder when they’re older, and that fact makes me want to crawl under my desk and cry a little.
AwayEmily says
FWIW, I think the first 3 months are the absolute hardest part of parenting because there are very little “highs” — tiny babies don’t give back much. With older kids it’s harder in the sense that there’s less you can control (ie what the term is referring to), but the periods where everything is going well are SO amazing that it makes up for the tough periods. I know some people love the infant stage but I was NOT one of them and it sounds like maybe you aren’t either, and so here is some reassurance that there is light at the end of the tunnel! You are an amazing mom and you are not a huge mess, I promise.
Eek says
Thanks. The first 3 months were definitely the hardest, but the last couple months back at work have really thrown me for a loop. I honestly don’t know how people do this with more than one kid (or even with one mobile kid.)
Anonymous says
This is probably too late, but I want to assure you that older isn’t necessarily harder. I have an amazing 2.5 year old. When I went back to work at 12 weeks, I was a disaster. Tired, hormonal, trying to navigate my new identity but still be awesome at work. It was insanely hard and I hated it. And by the time he was 1, things were good. So good I got pregnant with our second when the first was 15 months. I think the whole first year was really hard.
Having two is hard, too. But not in the same crushing way that my first was.
Anonymous says
It might not be ‘easy’ to have a difficult, clingy child. But when it is only one child you can devote all of your parenting to them. When it is one of three children, you have to not only deal with difficult, clingly child but also not ignore the other two children who need your attention too. So it is much easier when I’m out with only the difficult, clingy child who must be touching me at all times because I don’t have two other kids arguing over who gets to hold my other hand etc etc.
It’s not a competition as to who has it harder because everyone’s journey is different but it is frustrating when the parent of one child speaks in generalities about child rearing and does not respect that their journey with one kid might be completely different than handling the different needs of multiple kids. As a twin parent, I see everyday how much nature matters, not just nuture. So I definitely do an internal eyeroll when a parent of one child is telling me that their kid is a certain way because of whatever magical parenting technique they think I should be using when that technique might have worked on 1/3 of my kids but does nothing to impact the other two.
Anon says
Michelle Duggar says we all have no idea what parenting is really like.
Anonymous says
Clearly a super relevant example on a working moms blog.
She doesn’t parent in the way that any of us here attempt to parent. She just takes her babies and hands when off to her oldest daughter to raise. Which is probably why the oldest daughter has never married or had kids of her own.
anon says
I am a twin mom and when our kids were babies, another twin dad told my husband something funny. He said that he didn’t know anything about babies before his twins were born. And if he had only had one kid, he would have thought, “Wow, this is what babies are like” and assumed all babies had all the same issues as his. But having twins made him realize immediately, oh, they are both babies, but there is a lot of variety in the baby experience because they’re different people. Some people take longer to come to that realization (however their family is formed). Or some people just assume they know everything all the time. And they’re annoying.
Anonymous says
Haha, yep, nothing like raising two kids with identical DNA but completely different personalities and needs to realize that it’s all just random!
Boston Legal Eagle says
In some ways, having multiple kids becomes easier (once you pass that sleep deprivation phase…) because you can sort of give yourself a break on parenting once you see that your kids have different personalities and that what you do beyond a baseline of feeding/sheltering/protecting them doesn’t matter all that much.
There are certainly tradeoffs and advantages to having both onlies and multiple children. Parenting is hard no matter what.
Anon says
I think this sentiment applies to a lot of parenting. It’s all just really hard for everyone and I think we could all do a little better remembering it’s not a competition. My baby was very premature/had a very scary oh my god we both may die type birth and had a 2 month hospital stay. It was awful. But she also had a fairly uneventful hospital stay and she came home. The experience made me super tuned into how parenting is not a competition. I have friends who apologized after complaining after venting about their tough labor and going but oh that’s nothing compared to you as if my tramatic experience somehow negates theirs (so not true! I totally will listen to your story and nod along and empathize with you!). I also have the flip side where I feel like it’s ridiculous to complain about anything about our NICU experience because there are so many people who had “worse” ones. Basically it’s all really hard, it’s not a competition and we should all remember that our experience/feelings doesn’t negate someone else’s and someone else’s experience/feelings don’t negate our own.
Anon says
I have one child and definitely feel like it’s easier…in fact, sometimes I feel almost smug the other direction because our family can do so much more in terms of travel and activities with our 3 year old because we don’t have a baby to tend to also. Most of my kiddo’s friends now have younger siblings and it’s been kind of eye-opening for me about how much a baby changes the family dynamic and limits what you can do, especially as our oldest kids get more and more independent. I’d definitely be hurt if someone implied I wasn’t a “real” parent, but I don’t think there’s anything offensive about saying two children are (generally) harder than one.
Anonymous says
The term “POOPCUP” doesn’t imply that anyone isn’t a real parent. It just refers to a specific category of people who choose to behave like jerks.
Anon says
Yeah, I was responding to CPA Lady about being offended when people say one kid is easier. I’m not offended by POOPCUP, although I think the acronym is kind of gross, especially since most parents (myself included) talk about literal poop way too much.
RR says
I mean, I would not snark at you, but as a mom of twins and then a single baby, I super enjoyed having a single baby–it was such a great experience compared to twins. That said, I think having twins first was great too because I jumped right to “mom of two kids” and I didn’t have the time to stress about every little thing so I could give myself permission not to.
I’d suggest gently that the mom you are dealing with is coming from a place of feeling like she is failing both of her children because she can’t bond with either of them as much as she’d like, and she’s projecting that on to you. It’s not okay, but it also doesn’t mean she doesn’t think you are a “real” parent. Or, she’s just an annoying person. There are tons of them in mommydom.
anon says
My hair straightener broke today so I am going to buy a new one. Recs? I was think the ghd gold series professional 2 inch.
Children's Clothes Questions says
First time mom, diving into kids clothes as the baby hand me downs are running out. I have been thinking about this too much and have a ton of questions:
If money were no object – what brands would you dress your kids in?
Do you think about things like organic cotton, natural dyes, natural fabrics when you purchase your kids clothes? The organic cotton part being more for the people working in the fields and for our environment than for your kids health.
Any small business brands that you love?
Do you shop consignment/garage sales/thrift stores for your kids clothes?
Any area of that you are not willing to buy cheap?
Do you set a monthly/seasonal/yearly budget for your kids clothes?
Do you put your kids in matching clothes? Match them with yourself?
Mrs. Jones says
About 60% of my son’s clothes are from resale stores. We usually buy his shoes at Payless or Target.
No budget.
No matching clothes.
Anonymous says
If I thought about all this I’d die. I work. She wears whatever.
OP says
Yet you had enough time to read this and comment on it!
Anonymous says
Yup! Sure did. And?
Anonymous says
If money were no object, I would buy more expensive clothes for my kids ONLY because it chills me to think of the sweatshop/child labor making the cheap clothes that I do buy for my kids. Unfortunately, I don’t have any brand recommendations.
Anonymous says
Ok so to respond to the rest of your questions:
– I would buy bundles of hand-me-downs on FB or whatever until my kids were about 2-2.5 years old.
– I buy mostly Target and Old Navy clothes for my kids now (5 and 7.5 yrs old), with some Gap/JCrew sale items sprinkled in
– I buy everyday shoes at Payless; I buy Crocs rainboots (because they are great and reliable); I buy winter boots wherever (Childrens Place, Target, Marshalls, Old Navy)
– I try to buy a good (name-brand, like North Face or UnderArmour, usually $100) winter coat for my older kid; younger kid will get a good winter coat once it will last 2 years.
– No budget – they have growth spurts and need clothes, so I buy them. I buy socks whenever they’re on sale. Exclusively Old Navy socks when their feet were toddler-sized (the rubber grips on the bottom are so great); now, UnderArmour socks for my older kid and amaz0n random socks for my younger kid.
– The kids have to wear matching tshirts (or sweatshirts, weather-depending) if we go somewhere super crowded where they’ll be running around (e.g., chuckie cheeze, 6 flags, airports, etc.). So much easier to keep track of them when they are wearing matching brightly-colored tops. Other than that, coordinating (not matching) xmas pajamas and that’s it.
rosie says
Check out H&M conscious line if these are things you’re pondering.
In House Lobbyist says
Almost all my kids clothes come from consignment sales or Goodwill. They outgrow it and are so rough on it. I focus more on what feels good – no rough fabrics but that doesn’t necessarily mean expensive. I only buy retail when I need something quick. Tennis shoes are $25 on Amazon and will last about 4 months before falling apart. I haven’t had much better success with Nikes so I stay with off brand. They only match each other for Christmas photo cards. I think Hannah Anderson and Lands Ends hold up well for my kids but I only buy when heavily discounted.
Anonymous says
We splurge on sneakers and winter coats/boots. The rest mostly comes from Old Navy when leggings/shirts are $5. With a few other random (often nicer, but not always) items thrown in. I’m willing to splurge a little more on jammies, because they’re workhorses for us. Kiddo only has about 4 sets at one time that are the right size and season, but ultimately I end up buying Old Navy or Carters because it is just more convenient.
Anonymous says
If money were no object – what brands would you dress your kids in? Truly no object- Tea Collection.
Do you think about things like organic cotton, natural dyes, natural fabrics when you purchase your kids clothes? The organic cotton part being more for the people working in the fields and for our environment than for your kids health. I think about it, but rarely pay the upcharge.
Any small business brands that you love? I’ve found some cute prints on Etsy, but don’t usually shop there.
Do you shop consignment/garage sales/thrift stores for your kids clothes? Yes on consignment, especially for nicer clothes. There’s a great one near me (Alexandria VA)
Any area of that you are not willing to buy cheap? Shoes, winter coats and accessories. I shell out for shoes, and make sure coats are warm enough for DC winters so that kids can keep playing outside. I’ve been able to get winter gear on consignment, but don’t compromise on brand/quality.
Do you set a monthly/seasonal/yearly budget for your kids clothes? No, but I probably should…
Do you put your kids in matching clothes? Match them with yourself? No and no. I go for coordinated when I know there will be lots of pictures going on (Christmas, e.g.), but otherwise don’t worry about it. I’m weirdly adverse to parent-child matching, but I realize that’s a me thing.
Govtattymom says
I am also in Alexandria. Would you mind sharing the name of the consignment shop? Thank you!
Anonymous says
Bellies and Babies, in Del Ray. It’s small but well-curated.
Govtattymom says
Thank you!
Anonymous says
Their instagram page posts a lot of the current favorites, and they sell a lot of things that way. Would be helpful to get a sense of what they offer (trends preppy– Boden, Hanna, etc., which makes sense given that it’s Del Ray). They have gear and toys, too.
Anonymous says
Not the original poster but you can also check out 529 Consign in Old Town.
GCA says
75% of clothing is secondhand (hand-me-down from cousins/ friends, eBay, ThredUp); the rest is consumables (socks, underwear, sweatpants that are worn until kid wears through the knees). It follows that I rarely match with kiddos because buying clothing used matters more to me than matching, and this is true of my own wardrobe as well. That’s my small bit for the environment, I guess. It’s about all I can do/ afford to do right now.
Anonymous says
If money were no object I’d buy more Hanna (because it’s so high quality) and Baby GAP (because it’s so cute). In reality, I buy mostly Target (Carter’s and other brands) because it’s cheap, convenient (I have the Target card with 5% off and free shipping) and the quality is decent. We get the other brands as gifts quite frequently though so they’re about 25% of her wardrobe.
I don’t do thrifting, I’m too worried about thirdhand smoke or bed bugs and stuff like that, even if I wash it well.
I don’t worry about organic at all – we buy organic milk and fruit, which is expensive, and my kid doesn’t seem to have sensitive skin. I don’t know that organic clothing does that much for the environment and we try to be environmentally conscious in other ways (no single use plastic etc).
I only have one kid and I haven’t done matching for her and me. When she’s older if she wants to match me, I’d do it for her, but it’s not something that interests me.
I have no strict budget, but I don’t go crazy shopping for her. I buy what she needs so I don’t have to do laundry constantly. I almost never buy her anything “fancy” (nice dresses, etc) because we get so many of those as gifts and we don’t have much occasion for her to wear them (weddings are rare and we don’t go to religious services). The things I buy are all super practical stuff that she will wear pretty much constantly until she outgrows it.
Anonon says
I think organic clothing does a lot for the environment because you are not using pesticides. Totally random source but this I thought broke it down well https://www.bollandbranch.com/blogs/content/organic-cotton-vs-non-organic-cotton
AwayEmily says
I love thinking about kids clothes. If I had unlimited budget I’d get a lot of stuff from Hanna, Boden, and Primary. In reality I get most stuff from Target, Old Navy, and the used clothing store near us. Once a year I’ll put in a big order from H&M, too. PJs from Carters, via Costco. We do spend more money on things that can be handed down (I have 2 kids) — so, Patagonia jackets and Kamik boots.
One thing that has helped me a lot in terms of not overbuying is to restrict what I buy to a certain color palette. For my daughter — black/gray, and jewel tones (no pastel). For my son, black/gray and blues. I also made a rule that I am not allowed to get anything with slogans/pictures — only solids or patterns. It’s not that I have a problem with pastels or graphic T’s — but establishing those rules means that (1) everything goes together and (2) I am not tempted to buy as much.
layered bob says
AwayEmily I also love Primary! Sounds like our kids might be wearing identical outfits on any given day. I think you are also a Janet Lansbury fan if I remember correctly so our kids are also probably hearing “I see that you are having a hard time” at identical moments as well :-) :-)
AwayEmily says
Hell yes. Along with the constant refrain of “I won’t let you do that.”
ElisaR says
“I won’t let you do that” over and over and over in my house….
layered bob says
If money were no object: Hanna, Polarn O Pyret, Boden – which is pretty much what I do now but I wouldn’t buy two seasons ahead and or worry about things being on sale. As it is I also like Columbia, Lands End, Gymboree and Baby Gap. However I never pay full price and mostly choose things that are neutral so all my kids have worn pretty much everything I’ve ever bought.
Definitely prefer organic for the reasons you mentioned.
We buy Patagonia jackets and Bobux and Plae shoes. Shoes are harder to hand down because they get so worn but all the jackets are going strong.
I sometimes get outfits for my kids to match/coordinate – my oldest daughter especially likes them to “go together,” but everyone wearing some item of blue clothing is good enough for her so that’s pretty likely to happen by itself. I don’t match them to me.
We’re a Montessori family so more important is that all their clothes can mix and match so they can get themselves dressed without looking too ridiculous, so if we’ve had a big influx of handmedowns or gifts I will go through and ruthlessly purge anything that sticks out as not coordinating with everything else. (My technique for this is only allowing patterns on tshirts, everything else is a solid color. Pants are all neutrals – grey, black, navy, khaki. So then any outfit they choose is composed of neutral bottom, patterned or graphic T-shirt, and solid colored sweater/long sleeved top.)
We don’t have a specific budget. But I don’t think kids need a lot of clothes – we do so much laundry anyway. I keep it to 5-6 tops and 4-5 bottoms per season. Three sets of pajamas. One church outfit. Church/dress shoes, rain/snow boots, and sneakers. The end.
Anonymous says
We could never get by with that few clothes. Do they wear even tops more than once? Don’t the kids get sweaty or play in the dirt at school or do art projects? What do they wear while you are doing laundry? What happens if someone has a potty accident or gets sick? What about weather variations?
We needed at least 12 tops or play dresses, 12 bottoms, several sweaters/sweatshirts, and 8 pairs of pajamas to make it through the week in day care/preschool. By school age, maybe 10 tops and bottoms would have been enough.
layered bob says
We do laundry every couple days so there’s always at least a few things clean. Pajamas get worn for several nights at least – we could probably get by with two sets of pjs but like to have the third for, like you said, when there are accidents or illness.
I’ve found the more things they have the more likely they are to develop unreasonable preferences about what they will or won’t wear and the more likely they are to throw things in the laundry that aren’t really dirty. We also expect our kids to keep their own rooms neat pretty much from the time they can walk, so it isn’t fair to them to give them more clothes than they can easily tidy themselves.
Anonymous says
Not the poster but we try to do laundry once a week . That means At age almost 4 we manage fine with 7-8 tops, 7- 8 everyday pants, and I know we have exactly 7 pjs. It works fine. Sometimes we end up doing a load of laundry early or throwing something in with another load. Two sweatshirts, two pair of shoes, 8 socks, one dress pants, two sweaters, but a billion undies since I went overboard when he toilet trained last winter and they still fit.
CPA Lady says
I love thinking about kids clothes too!
If money were no object, I’d dress my daughter in lovely frilly boutique dresses. She would lose her mind with excitement. I live in the south, so that sort of thing is “normal”.
In day to day life she wears a bunch of random hand me downs to daycare. These are styles I would not have chosen for her if I were paying for them, but hey, free is awesome! I have not had good luck with consignment stuff other than one particular “upscale” sale that happens sporadically. I typically consign my kid’s old smocked dresses in this sale and use what I earn to buy more smocked dresses.
I have had good luck in actively soliciting hand me downs. I went on facebook and said “hey do any of your kids have clothes you’re getting rid of?” You only have to do this once or twice and you’re generally set for ages. Almost 100% of my kid’s school clothes are hand me downs that I got from a friend who has two daughters a couple years older than my daughter. I have from time to time joined resale groups on facebook for specific brands and bought things there, but I haven’t done that in a while.
I didn’t cheap out on shoes for the first several years. Age 4 was when I started buying shoes at Target. Before then it was all Stride Rite and Pediped. I also buy astronomically expensive hanna andersson underwear because it fits my daughter perfectly and she loves it.
I typically spend about $500-600 per year on clothes for my kid, but most of that is for shoes and the boutique dresses, which I typically buy a handful of each year. I (#nerdalert) keep a spreadsheet of all my expenses… 2018’s clothing purchases were:
Six consigned smocked dresses that I paid for with consignment earnings: $68 – 68= $0
Ballet tights, leotard, & slippers: $42
Target underwear (she hated): $9
2 rash guards & tankini from target (she refused to wear all of these)i: $32
Target dress: $15 — I bought myself a kid’s XL in this and matched with her in her kid’s XS.
Pediped mary janes: $40
Target water sandals: $21
Tights: $5
Unicorn shirt from amazon: $13
Boots, black mary janes, 4 pr tights from target: $62
3 boutique dresses: $208
A ton of Hanna Andersson underwear in two different sizes because it was on sale, hopefully wont have to buy underwear again until she’s halfway through elementary school: $119
Total: $566
I’m not looking forward to the day where I have to buy her full wardrobes worth of clothes. But once she’s in school she’ll be wearing a uniform (polo and khaki at public elementary school, then for-real uniform at private middle and high) so that will be less to think about, at least.
AwayEmily says
It makes me happy that other smart busy women also get googly-eyed over kids clothes. One unexpected side benefit of my obsession over finding good deals on kids clothes is that I buy way less stuff for myself — it’s just way more fun to stalk the sales at Hanna than at Loft, y’know?
Emily S. says
Me, too! I could browse Janie and Jack for hours. One of my favorite tasks at home is switching out seasonal clothes, opening the box of hand-me-downs and reminiscing over them and planning new outfits for DDs. And Primary.com is addictive as Amazon (they made me a VIP, so I get free shipping, and I’m so flattered to be picked for anything labeled VIP, I shop the heck out of them. DD #1 lives in Primary sleeveless dresses — which she calls “skin dresses;” took me 3 months to figure that one out– and leggings.) CPA Lady, I also love that I’m not the only one who keeps a spreadsheet of clothing costs.
Rainbow Hair says
I love taking my kiddo thrifting (ha, that makes “going to goodwill” sound fancy, huh?) because she can pick basically anything and i don’t have to say no for price reasons. I feel a little better, too, about the environmental impact, since as other posters say, they wear things for such a short time! I’m also lucky that she has a cousin who is 4 yrs older than her and one who is 2 yrs older, so we get lots of hand-me-downs. Pretty much the only things she gets new-new are for special occasions like to wear to a wedding, or birthday/xmas, and undies and socks and sometimes shoes. And I’m working on sewing more of it. And! Then there’s the thing where I go to the store and go “gasp, Kiddo would LOVE that!” … I feel like I can get it because most of her wardrobe I didn’t pay for, or barely paid for.
Cb says
I’d love to buy more of the organic brands. Little green radicals and pigeon have such adorable things but my budget is h&m and gap sales. My mom gets some good fair trade stuff from zulilly.
Anonymous says
I have a skinny, hard-to-fit kid who has Opinions about her clothes. I buy whatever I can find that actually fits her and that she will actually wear.
Anonymous says
I have a very large preschooler and a baby. Style wise I just avoid anything with words/cutesy sayings, pretty much, and favor bright colors — surprised me how many baby boy and little boy clothes are grey/navy/olive. Would love to buy all small-shop boutique prints etc, but kids grow so fast and out budget is small. We get a ton of clothes at value village- usually sweatpants and the occasional sweatshirt. It has actually turned me on to some of the Walmart brands, which have pretty high quality sweats, so I look for those at VV. If we are out of hand me downs, I look for cheap, high quality 100 percent cotton. End up with a lot of H&M — similar price to TArget but usually much much higher quality, particularly for toddler sweatpants and t shirts. They have a lot of plain solids and stripes, which is my preference (and kid’s). I do buy some Carters if I’m looking for things like one piece fleece pjs, and once in a while uniqlo (leggings!) or primary (on the expensive side for us). We buy name brand sneakers online at a discount but only 1-2 pairs per size. Do not buy dress shoes (yet) and often not sandals or rain boots since kid won’t wear them anyway.
Anon says
Caveat – kiddo is 18 months (wearing 3T or 4T depending on brand) and does not yet have OPINIONS about her clothes, but certainly about plenty of other things.
If money were no object – what brands would you dress your kids in? Hanna, Kissy Kissy, Boden. In reality, most of her clothes are from Hanna and Gap – always gotten on sale, with some Cat & Jack from target for random one-off needs (snow pants, snow boots, extra t-shirts, halloween costume, etc.) My mom buys her a lot of Hanna and some stuff from Kohls and Macys. I get her socks from Nordstrom (tucker + tate) because they are the right thickness to not irritate her with her shoes (she has super wide feet).
Do you think about things like organic cotton, natural dyes, natural fabrics when you purchase your kids clothes? The organic cotton part being more for the people working in the fields and for our environment than for your kids health. No. I do think about how it feels and find that sometimes the organic cotton is softer to my kiddo’s skin, but I think that’s due to the higher price point and maybe not the organic nature? Not sure.
Any small business brands that you love? I work 50 hours a week on a good week and most weeks are not good, if it can’t be ordered online and delivered and easily (and freely) returned by mail without me having to think about it, it doesn’t happen, so no.
Do you shop consignment/garage sales/thrift stores for your kids clothes? No. See above re time.
Any area of that you are not willing to buy cheap? Probably PJs – I feel like my kiddo spends so much time in them, both at night and (since my husband is a SAHD) most days. Also every day shoes (i.e., her sneakers).
Do you set a monthly/seasonal/yearly budget for your kids clothes? No, but I would if our discretionary income were lower. I just try to keep it reasonable and have enough clothes that I only have to do laundry once a week but not so many that there’s stuff in her closet she only wears a few times before she out grows it.
Do you put your kids in matching clothes? Match them with yourself? Only 1 kid. I do buy matching mommy & me stuff from time to time (e.g., gap had some striped sweaters that were adorable this winter and we did a mommy & me matching day a couple of times, but it’s also a sweater I would independently wear once she outgrows hers). I would totally match my (future) kids from time to time if I liked the outfit.
anon says
If money were no object – what brands would you dress your kids in? Boden, Hanna Andersson, Tea Collection, Primary. This also assumes that my kid would actually wear that stuff. 4-year-old girl has Opinions already on what she deems acceptable. My older boy is less opinionated about clothes, but he is super tall and slim and harder to fit.
Do you think about things like organic cotton, natural dyes, natural fabrics when you purchase your kids clothes? I do, but I can’t say it’s changed my shopping habits much. I have bought stuff from the H&M Conscious line that I like.
Do you shop consignment/garage sales/thrift stores for your kids clothes? Occasionally, but in my area, the prices aren’t that great for everyday clothing, so it’s rarely worth the effort. I also prefer to have stuff that generally coordinates. I like secondhand for special occasion clothes and very season-specific stuff.
Any area of that you are not willing to buy cheap? I don’t like cheap outerwear because I’ve been burned by winter coats that get soaked immediately, boots that leak, etc. We’re in the Midwest and younger kiddo’s daycare does an awesome job of getting them outside for long periods of time. My thought is that if they’re comfortable, they’ll enjoy being outdoors more. I rarely pay full price, though. I love end-of-season sales for outerwear, and then I keep it for the following year. I’ve bought a lot of Columbia and Lands End Kids gear over the years — it’s usually good quality for the price.
Do you set a monthly/seasonal/yearly budget for your kids clothes? Not really, but I do have limits for what I’m willing to spend on an individual piece. I’ve also recognized that after the itty-bitty years, kids need fewer clothes than I sometimes think. As they get older, they get so much more mileage out of clothes. I overbought for my daughter last spring because I hadn’t accounted for that.
Do you put your kids in matching clothes? Match them with yourself? Rarely. Maybe for a family photo. But there is a big age gap between my kids and they’re different genders, so it’s not that feasible anyway.
anon says
So I come at this from a different perspective in my toddler has a genetic growth issue, so she lasts much longer in one size than other kids. This has made me pickier about clothes. I like target clothes but they wear out fast. We get better mileage out of Hanna and Gap clothes. On shoes, we tend to buy new balance ones cheap on zappos or 6pm and they last forever.
Anonymous says
Hannas last forever. My daughter wore one size of Hanna underwear for three years. When she finally outgrew them, they still looked brand-new.
Anon says
That makes total sense. We’ve never had anything from Target wear out while it still fit, but my kid grows like a weed. I definitely agree Hanna is way higher quality.
SC says
– I’m not very brand conscious, and my kid wears everything. I do like Ralph Lauren because it holds up really well, but I also like the Target brand tshirts because they’re really soft and seem really comfortable.
– I do not think about organic cotton etc. However, 90% of my kid’s clothes are used and figure reusing is better for the environment than buying new.
– I shop almost exclusively at a biannual consignment sale in my area. I spend about $100 there every 6 months and get a complete wardrobe for the season. The only things I can’t buy consignment are socks and underwear.
– I buy new tennis shoes whenever needed, and I don’t skimp on those. My kid wears the same pair everyday, and I want him to be able to play in them comfortably. He also doesn’t have a closet full of shoes–one pair of water shoes in the summer and one pair of tennis shoes year round.
– No, but I typically spend $100 on consignment every 6 months, $50-60 on shoes when his feet grow, and a few bucks at Target to supplement if necessary and buy socks, which we always lose. My mom also likes buying Kiddo clothes and shoes, so we get a few things from her.
– I only have one kid, so no matching siblings. He’s a boy, and we don’t intentionally match him with his father, but it’s happened occasionally.
IHeartBacon says
I didn’t realize I had a philosophy about clothes until i started dressing my LO. Here are my things:
1. No designer/brand names scrawled across the clothes.
2. They have to allow free movement. If my LO can’t run, sit, squat, roll around, etc. easily, then I won’t put him in them.
3. No branded cartoons (e.g., Mickey Mouse, Batman, etc.)
Other than that, I just buy stuff in colors that I think he looks best in. Stuff on sale preferably.
Rainbow Hair says
Can you talk more about no branded cartoons? It’s interesting because I sort of half had that rule, but then Kiddo (of course) developed an affinity for Batman, Minnie Mouse, etc. and it’s so easy to know she’ll wear a Minnie shirt… and now I can’t remember why I was opposed to it.
Anonymous says
Hanna, Primary, and Boden, if money was no object. (Hanna socks are my favorite.) 90% of their wardrobe is hand-me-downs/used clothes, so even when it’s cheap Carters stuff having it go through multiple kids addresses some of the environmental issues. We don’t have a kids’ clothing budget, but I can think of only a handful of things we bought them in the past year (winter coats and mittens, a couple t-shirts, long-sleeved shirts for a Halloween costume…I think that’s it), so there hasn’t been much need.
I have toddler identical twins. Before they were born we swore we would only match them on special occasions, but it’s actually a) pretty cute, b) easier than picking out two outfits, and c) easier when one parent has both kids out in public to keep track of them. Between hand-me-downs from other twins and matching clothes bought by family members a good portion of their wardrobe right now is matching outfits, so I’d say in an average week they have 1 day completely matching, 4 days of the same shirt/different pants, and 2 days in completely different outfits. They also intentionally don’t have matching shoes, as an easy key for people who don’t know them well.
Anonanonanon says
I spend way too much on kids’ clothes probably, but even I can’t justify going much nicer than Janie and Jack. I don’t like “branded” clothes or clothes with characters etc.
what would you put baby in? says
What would you put baby in to sleep under these circumstances?
We have a very sweet, very neurotic, very large cat. Think 23 pounds. He likes to wait until we’re asleep then come sit on us. Obviously, this would not be okay for the incoming baby. He’s not much of a jumper — he can make the bathroom counter, but that’s about it — so should we just stick to a crib that he won’t be able to get into? Are there any particular infant sleep devices that might work for this?
Anonymous says
No advice, but following this. I don’t *think* my cat would be able to (or want to) jump into the baby’s crib, but what if she does??
Anonymous says
I would put the baby in a room with the door closed so that cat can’t get in.
Anonymous says
This is the only reliable way to keep cats out of a baby’s sleeping area. My cats have always loved sleeping with my kids. I have photos of them in the bassinet, in the crib, etc. Despite the fact that my cats prefer to sleep about shoulder-level in between me and my husband, they always curled up near the baby’s feet; I never came across them on the head end of the bed.
Anon says
Yup.
anon says
Op here, this is not an option. One bedroom apartment that we are in for next 18 months minimum. It’s a big bedroom, at least, with a sort of walled off “dressing area” that we will put baby in once a bit older. But no, can’t close the cat out at night. Good god the howling.
Anonymous says
Crib tent?
op says
Yeah…this may be worth it for peace of mind, if nothing else.
Anonymous says
Gently, it is an option. We made it through the howling for a few nights when kiddo was in our room for the first 4.5 mos of her life. We shut the cat out. The cat will adjust (and this is coming from a very obsessive cat mom). It didn’t wake baby, but if you’re concerned, I’d start the adjustment before baby comes. Is this your first? If so, TBH, once the baby comes, you might be a little more willing to shut the cat out and put up with the howling.
Anon says
Yeah, I think if it’s not safe for the cat to be around the baby at night, then you have no choice but to lock the cat out. It will adjust.
op says
Oh, lol, this is not about my delicate cat feelings. I mean, I like the cat fine, but he’s not “mine” in the truest sense, he’s my partner’s. I have no issue enforcing rules/boundaries with him, and frankly wish it happened more. I am just already so. damn. tired. and this kid isn’t even here yet. Plus all the extraneous complications noted below.
The real solution is to move, probably, but that can’t happen for a while.
IHeartBacon says
I would lock the cat in the bathroom at night if you don’t have a door to the room where the baby will sleep. As long as you have somewhere soft and warm for the cat to sleep, it should be fine. I will warn you, though, the cat will probably start peeing on EVERYTHING when the baby arrives if your cat feels like he’s been replaced and is no longer allowed to sleep in bed with you. Should you find yourself in that situation, the only thing that got rid of the pee stink was Nature’s Miracle Skunk Odor Remover.
Spirograph says
Oh, I didn’t think to try that one! We had spiteful peeing cats for a different reason, and tried the following
– Resolve (hahahaha, no.)
– Nature’s Miracle cat urine destroyer (Works well as a laundry additive, but not as well on the carpet)
– Bubba’s super strength pet cleaner (improved, but not gone)
– Replacing carpet in our basement with vinyl flooring (success)
For the OP: If it makes you feel any better, we’ve had 4 different cats during baby years and none of them has preferred sleeping with the baby to sleeping on our bed. I think this will likely be a non-issue.
Rainbow Hair says
We had one a-hole cat* who was maybe a few pounds lighter than yours (we still have him, but kiddo finally outweighs him) and he knew not to eff with her. We got her a bassinet for right next to the bed, but she ended up preferring (read: only deigning to sleep in) a co-sleeper type thing that went on top of our bed, between us. So I guess if we’d been deeply sleeping, the cat could’ve bothered her, but he never did, and we never slept deeply! If she wasn’t in the room with us, I would’ve wanted to make sure the kitties were locked out of her space, but since she was, it worked out fine.
*he’s a wonderful baby and i love him very much, but he’s kind of your typical cat, like skittish and hard to predict when he’s gonna get mad, etc. but also he loves us.
op says
Yeah, this is what I’m hoping, that he will not actually want to engage at all. But what-if-the-cat-is-smothering-the-baby is just not a thing I want to wake up in the middle of the night in a panic about, you know?
Baby will definitely be in the same room as us — not optional in current space — and I am a very light sleeper, so there’s that.
Anonymous says
Then you need to lock the cat out.
op says
I like how people keep saying this as if this completely obvious thing has never occurred to us. Of course that’s the best solution, but it adds endless and annoying complications. Only place for the litterbox is in the bathroom, which, you guessed it, is only accessible from the bedroom. And due to medical issues, blocking the cat from that for 8ish hours is going to cause . . . mess. So sure we could relocate the litterbox to somewhere else every night, I guess? And distribute the smell into our living room, probably? And endure the cat howling for however long it takes him to adjust? And deal with whatever else happens as a result, which something definitely will (last time we had to close him in somewhere, he literally destroyed a baseboard). But don’t you think we’ve thought about that and realized it’s less than ideal? And definitely a less good solution than some product or hack we haven’t thought of but that someone else probably has?
Anon says
Well, if you believe it’s not safe for the cat to be near the baby’s bassinet/crib (and I agree) and you aren’t willing to lock the cat out, then you have to rehome the cat. It’s an animal. Your child’s safety has to come first. Although nothing you’ve said here suggests that you “can’t” lock the cat out, just that it would be inconvenient and smelly. So what? You’ll deal.
Anonymous says
No we get that, but yes. You put the litter box in the living room. It’s not ideal. None of these options are ideal.
Rainbow Hair says
People are being rude because they’re anonymous and they can.
I was so worried about this same thing, OP, in a similar situation. I did not rehome my cats, or rearrange my life or even my apartment, but I kept a close eye on my kid and my cats’ interactions with her. Like… the first day we brought her home, kitties were like “ooh what’s this?” and went to sniff her head and she moved her hand and they JUMPED backward like 3 feet. So I was like, “ah, ok, that’s a good step.” Despite everything, when I had the bassinet set up, before Kiddo was born, I could NOT keep the cat out of there. (The internet suggested lining it with tinfoil. I came home from work to find my cat cuddled up under a tinfoil blanket.) Once I put here in there, they ceded the territory.
If you were describing one of those violent, scary Cats from Hell type dudes, I’d be worried. But what I’m hearing is a loving, shy, kinda dopey dude. He’s gonna want to avoid the weird new creature you’re bringing home.
Anon says
….nobody is being rude. The OP is being ridiculously defensive to people politely suggesting that she should lock the cat out even if it’s not an ideal solution.
Anonymous says
Bassinet with no baby = obviously a cat bed.
Bassinet with baby = what is this horrid creature you have brought into my domain and put into my cat bed, human?
Anonymous says
Yeah, our cats loved the crib pre-baby but I’ve never seem them jump in in the 2 years since. It may end up being a non-issue.
Anonymous says
We have a similarly sized cat who likes to sleep on my head, so I had worries about him and the baby. He still does that to me, but he has no interest in being in an enclosed space (bassinet, PNP, crib, even playpen) with the baby. She’s 7 months now and likes to grab his tail/ feet, but even when she was less mobile, he was interested in being near her, but seemed to understand not to get too close. He’s not particularly a rules-follower otherwise (like still jumps on the dining room table knowing he’s not supposed to be there), so I think he does really get that there’s something unique about the baby and keeps his space.
SC says
When our baby was born, we had a cat who liked to sleep on DH and my heads. She was a small cat, but capable of suffocating an infant. I had the same concerns. We consistently shooed the cats out of any baby sleeping place, whether baby was using it or not. We may have even put foil in the crib at one point before we transferred the baby to the crib.
Also, it turned out that our cats were not interested in the baby at all. Their reaction was much closer to, “Ugh, what is that thing you brought home?” One cat eventually warmed up to baby and would let him hug her and tug on her and “pet” her. (Sadly, she passed away when he was 1.) The other cat still hasn’t warmed up to Kiddo, who’s now 3.5.
AwayEmily says
This exact same thing happened with us. We had a head-sleeping cat and I was TERRIFIED she was going to sleep on my baby. Turned out she was completely and utterly uninterested. So I think it’s worth waiting to see what happens and how she reacts. FWIW I did a lot of “cat smothering baby” Googling and let’s just say it is NOT a common issue.
Anonymous says
We have had three cats at most points in my son’s life, several of whom liked to sleep in bed with us. None EVER tried to get in bed with my son until he was at least 5. They always gave him a wiiiiide berth as a baby. They did sleep in his crib before he was born, and the changing table remained a favorite napping spot throughout its tenure. It probably will not be an issue.
Also, there is no way our 25 pound cat could have leaped into a the crib. The sides are pretty tall. Perhaps yours is more agile, but I would test before you panic.
op says
Thanks. This is what I’m hoping for — that he won’t actually care, and also that he won’t really be able to get up and in. We’ll see…
Anon says
I have yet to find a story that isn’t from the 1800’s of a cat actually smothering a baby. I think it’s an old wives tale.
HSAL says
Is there anything your cat is afraid of? My cat hates balloons. We weren’t particularly worried about her trying to get in the crib post-baby (like others have said), but thought she might be interested in it before the baby showed up, so we hung a couple helium balloons in there. She wouldn’t even go in the room.
Anonymous says
I love this app. I have three streams– one for each of my kids and one for me. It’s really fun.
AnotherAnon says
This seems like a dumb question but…I want to buy a Chicco Keyfit 30 and I’m wondering where I can get the best deal. Already searched Target, BuyBuyBaby and Amazon and prices are all about the same (Amazon is actually more expensive, oddly enough). Any tips? I don’t want to buy a used one off FB mktplace. Or if you have experience with a cheaper bucket style infant seat that you love, I’m happy to hear about that too! I currently have a 2 y/o who’s in a rear facing seat made by Graco. We’re not expecting – it’s for a foster baby so he could be 2 days old or six months old upon arrival, heh. Thought I’d get a Chicco because that’s what I used with the 2 y/o.
Anonymous says
If you don’t need it right away, we got our chicco keyfit for $120 when the price randomly went down on a specific color on Amazon. I just watched the prices, but I’m sure you could automate that somehow.
Anonymous says
camel camel camel dot com will email you if the price goes below a certain threshold on an am@z0n item. I learned about that website here!
Anon says
I got mine at Target – the price was about the same everywhere, and the Target card gets you 5% off so that made it the best deal. If you have Amazon prime and their card, I think you also get 5% off there (I don’t). I’m actually trying to sell it now on Craigslist.
One thing to know is that my tall, chunky baby outgrew the Chicco KeyFit30 pretty early. I think officially she didn’t outgrow it until about 8 months when she reached 30″, but it was clearly not comfortable for her past about 6 months. She looked so scrunched and sad when we put her in it. So probably good to have a bigger seat on hand too if you there’s a possibility of getting a 6 month old.
Anonymous says
Yep my 5 month old is on the verge out outgrowing his.
Anon says
This may sound a little strange, but you can get 15% off at Target if you start a baby registry. I realize this might be a little bit non-conventional but maybe start a private registry and put that and any other big items you need on it? Then they’ll send you a coupon and you can get the discount.
rosie says
We got one from Albee Baby–they happened to have one color/model on sale because it was a little older (still a few years from expiring, but not brand new). Does it make sense for you to do the bucket versus a convertible if you don’t know the age of the baby, though?
anon says
You can use the 20% off bed bath and beyond coupons at buy buy baby. They just can’t be expired.
OP says
Thanks all! Our first came to us at 5 weeks weighing 5 lbs (!) so I’m not expecting a huge/tall baby, even if they are 6 months, but that is def something to consider. I’ll look into other options. I really like the idea about a registry since it will force me to think about what else I might need.
Katarina says
You can use a 20% coupon at buy buy baby. The bed bath and beyond coupons also work at buy buy baby.
Boston Legal Eagle says
To lighten the mood a little – hoping to bring back CPA Lady’s friday fun kid moments. Anything hilarious/sweet moments you all want to share about your kids today?
I love when my toddler tries to say words and they end up in his own little language. His recent word is measuring tape – which he says as . “mah-jia-p-tape” See also “cutamunda” for cucumber.
Also loving how interactive my 3 month old is now – finally past that newborn stage! He’s so smily and loves looking at faces.
Emily S. says
Love this! I’ll play. My 3yo recently lay down on the rug, covered herself up with a blanket, and asked if 1 yo baby sister could join her so “we can have a cupcake and a party in our dreams tonight.” It was 3 in the afternoon, btw. Also, can I have a cupcake and a party in my dreams?
Boston Legal Eagle, yay for smiles!
FVNC says
Yes, I was thinking about the Friday Fun threads this morning! Here’s mine: my 21 month old learned to blow his nose! This makes me so happy now that we’re in the thick of cold season. His little toots are so cute. (Thanks, daycare!) My daughter didn’t learn until she was 4 or so, which may be why I’m irrationally happy about this.
Anonymous says
OMG, that is amazing. I don’t think my kid learned until she was like 5 and it was so frustrating.
Artemis says
Yesterday my 3-year-old daughter did not have preschool so I took off work. In the morning I got to sleep in and she came into bed and snuggled with me and, all of a sudden, said “I love you Mama” in her cute little whisper voice.
Then we went to the zoo. We were walking out of the zoo and she was complaining about being tired and hungry and I told her I’d make her lunch and hot chocolate as soon as we got home. We walked quietly for awhile and she said, “I love you Mama”.
I’m tearing up again just thinking about it. I don’t get many “I love you Mamas” from my kids, which is OK, but it means the world to me when I do.
AnotherAnon says
I like this! Our almost 2 y/o just started learned the words octopus “opitis!” and noodles “looloos” or “looluls” and we find it cute and hilarious. We also entertained an entire restaurant last night by taking him out for pho and letting him hand feed himself the noodles. I tried to clean our area as best I could and left a huge tip to thank the waitstaff.
Rainbow Hair says
Ah, that reminds me of how my kid, when she was in the “every fruit is called apple” stage, called apples (and all other fruit) “Apoo!” She also called octopi “Apoo!”
Then when she learned how to say “apple” she started calling the sea creature “applepus.”
ElisaR says
i picked up a call on my cell phone from a number i didn’t recognize yesterday (why? i don’t know.) I hung up quickly. I have a 2.5 year old.
DS: Who was that?
Me: ohhhh just a robo-call?
DS: a robot?
Me: yeah
DS: what color?
I don’t know why but it cracked me up.
AwayEmily says
I laughed out loud at this. It’s such a perfect encapsulation of 2.5.
Spirograph says
me too!
I love these threads. Thanks for remembering to start one, Boston Legal Eagle.
CPA Lady says
I kept hearing that 4 was going to be the promised land in terms of behavior. It has not been that different from 3, tbh. But there are good glimpses of all the work and consistency of parenting starting to pay off in little ways. When my kid has a rough morning with a bunch of tantrums, she frequently apologizes later, unprompted. It’s a little thing and it’s not a super cute anecdote, but its so nice.
And her teacher has started noticing a positive change in her too, with kiddo having fewer tantrums at school. The teacher said kiddo is starting to “choose happiness” more often, which I thought was a sweet thing to say.
H13 says
I love these threads. I took my 5 year old out at 7pm for an errand on Wednesday. He was totally wowed that we could leave the house after dark.
While we were checking out, he looked at the tired, cranky checkout person and said, “Can I tell you something?” She wasn’t sure what he would say, but said ok. He went on to say, “I have a library at my school and I got to bring home a ninja book today.”
The checkout person and I looked and each other and smiled. She engaged with him and we all left a little happier. It just really warmed my heart. Going out with him felt special and spontaneous and I just adore how outgoing he can be with adults.
Anonymous says
At school, my kindergartener has started playing Pokemon or some other similar card game with attack and defense points. At home, we have a memory matching card game where you match farm animals with their babies, so sheep matches lamb, etc. My son apparently took the memory game cards to school and he and his friend devised their own scoring system — he very earnestly told me yesterday that goat has the highest attack points because it has the pointiest horns, even though cow and horse are both bigger. And duck beats calf, because calves “have really skinny legs” and “can’t even swim.”
He and little sister also now use number nomenclature to talk about their feelings: “I was 100 scared because [blah blah scary thing]” or “I’m 125 hungry!”
Em says
My almost 3-year-old thanks us for the most mundane things. We will be getting in the car to go to daycare and he will say “thank you for making me pancakes, mama,” or he will thank me for reading him a book before bed.
Rainbow Hair says
Kiddo’s birthday party is tomorrow and I’m so excited!
Pizza! Balls to throw (it’s at the park)! Kids! Cake! Balloons! A piñata! We have about 40 people (including kids and parents) RSVPed so I think it has the potential to be really crazy and fun!
Anonymous says
Have fun!
My 12-year-old is having her first “big-kid” birthday party tomorrow. By “big-kid” party, she means that after preparing decorations, fancy beverages, a ridiculous themed homemade cake, and giant piles of takeout from two different restaurants to her exacting specifications, her dad and I will be banished upstairs so she can entertain her guests with no adults visibly present. We’ll see if she is any better than I am at corralling a large group of her friends and getting them all to do the same thing without fussing.
avocado says
That was me.
Patty Mayonnaise says
What are the best over belly maternity leggings? I loved The feel of Blanqi, but they’re kind of see through and pill like crazy. Anyone have ones they love? I feel like I’ve heard people recommend something from Lululemon, but I don’t remember what…
Anonymous says
People on reddit recommend the lll align leggings. I’ve also seen people recommend the blackout maternity leggings from gap. I tried to buy them recently and they were out of stock in almost every size, so hopefully they’re back again soon.
ElisaR says
i actually had great experience with old navy on this….. (IRL i wear lululemon but it really seems like it’s not worth it)
Annie says
I love the pair I have from H and M.
Anonymous says
I have a couple of pairs from Gap that I like (the GapFit blackout fabric).
FP says
I had pairs from Target that I loved and were surprisingly not inexpensive at $35. Search for Maternity Crossover Panel Active Leggings – Isabel Maternity by Ingrid & Isabel. They were thick, not see-through, high quality, and stayed up.
rosie says
I liked Pea in a Pod, purchased at Macy’s.
NYCer says
Late to the party, but I have a pair from H&M that cost $13 that work just fine. Because they are so cheap, I am less concerned about pilling, etc. I also didn’t buy them until 34 weeks though, so I won’t be wearing them for long.
I wore (and still wear) my normal lulu and Athleta leggings before that.
Anon says
Probably stupid dependent care FSA question – my husband and I split our contributions equally so we each have $2500 of FSA money to spend this year. I’ve been writing our nanny checks and submitting them to my FSA. At some point, do we need to switch to my husband writing the checks so he can claim reimbursements on his $2500? Or can he get reimbursed on checks I write since it’s all one family with the same dependent?
Anonymous says
We only use my husband’s FSA, I write all the checks, and it’s never been an issue. The FSA company doesn’t even ask to see the checks anyway, just the receipts.
Anonymous says
What are you submitting to the FSA, copies of the checks? If they’re written from a joint account it shouldn’t matter who actually signed them. If it’s from a person account it might be simpler to have something with your husband’s name on it, just so they don’t object.
We submit receipts which are made out to both parents, regardless of who actually signed the check, so it’s a non-issue.
Anon says
Yes I’ve been uploading copies of the checks as “receipts,” since nanny doesn’t give us a receipt like a daycare would. The accounts are joint now but the checks just have my name on them. Although now that I think about it, it’s the wrong last name (my pre-marriage name) and my first name is also misspelled because my bank is terrible and wouldn’t issue me free new checks when they messed up the spelling. So if that isn’t causing problems, I don’t know how checks with my husband’s name on it would cause problems.
Anonymous says
Heh, yeah, in that case you’re probably good unless your husband’s FSA provider is much pickier than yours.