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I am all about the fancy sneaker trend. When the weather was warmer, I liked seeing the combo of a dress with sneakers, even though I never attempted it myself. I saw these sneakers in a targeted Instagram ad, and I immediately clicked through to the website. I have a pair or two of Dolce Vita shoes and like the way they fit, so I am definitely considering these.
There are so many different color/fabric patterns that I’m having a lot of indecision. I’m leaning towards “black multi leather,” since black is more passable on a casual workday, and I am always here for a leopard accent.
The price ranges from $100 and $125 depending on color at dolcevita.com; they’re also available at Zappos for $124.95. Zina Sneakers
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
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- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
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Update from New Nanny Mom? says
A few months ago, someone posted about having a new live in nanny and adjusting to having a live in employee. (Specifically mentioned that she would linger in the kitchen while you ate dinner with husband in dining room). Our nanny lives with us too and I think about your post all the time. How has it worked out since then?
Boston Legal Eagle says
Recommendations for play kitchens? We want to get one for our 2 year old’s birthday. Can be on the pricier side, or not, just looking for something nice and durable. Our 4.5 year old will also likely be playing with it. Thanks!
Cb says
We have the kidcraft one, which was purchased used, used by multiple children, and then passed onto us. It is incredibly solid and has tons of storage underneath. I would have gone with the traditional IKEA one as I think it’s slightly cuter/more neutral but the price (free) was right.
Anon says
We got the KidKraft Uptown Natural Play Kitchen. I was very anti play kitchen for unknown reasons admittedly, maybe just because they’re large and I find them ugly. But, I actually really like this one/don’t mind it at all and 2.5 yo DD is super in to it. I think it was ~$150.
Spirograph says
This is the one we have, too, and my kids and I are happy with it. It took a couple hours to put together, but nothing DH and I couldn’t handle after bedtime on Christmas Eve. It’s 3 years old and still going strong.
I recommend removing the dowel for paper towel roll, especially if you have boys, because it will definitely turn into a sword.
Anon says
We have this one: https://www.kidkraft.com/us_en/farm-to-table-play-kitchen-53411.html
We got it mostly for aesthetic reasons, but it seems to be pretty high quality. My mom and husband together spent most of the day assembling it despite the “EZ” assembly claim, but I suspect that’s true of most kitchens.
Anonymous says
My parents have this one, and my kids vastly prefer it to the one in our house. Totally understandable as ours is much smaller and doesn’t make noises, etc. it’s the first thing they run to when they arrive to visit.
Anon says
Yes, the lights and sounds are a big hit! And they aren’t as annoying as I thought they’d be since they’re realistic(ish).
avocado says
I managed to score one of the smaller PB Kids play kitchens on sale. The quality was fantastic–I think we had it for 8 years, and it still looked nearly new when we sold it. The painted finish was very easy to clean.
If I were in the market for a play kitchen now, I’d want the PB Kids Chelsea All-In-One Play Kitchen. It’s nicer than my actual kitchen–it even has a farmhouse sink. So cute.
Cate says
We have pottery barn but the big one (grandparents choice) – it’s held up well but I really wish the pieces would stand flush next to each other! Would definitely prefer the more compact models.
CCLA says
We have the chelsea but the bigger 3-piece version. It is excellent quality, is a year old and looks brand new. In retrospect I would go for the all in one version for size reasons because we are city dwellers and space is at a premium. Also, we bought the kitchen last year and didn’t purchase any food or pans, etc. It became clear when our sitter grabbed a bunch of paper plates etc. to use and the kids then started really getting into it that for full enjoyment we it’s best to have a few things to support play. For that, we’ve loved the ikea soft fruit/veg and pans.
Anonanonanon says
I got my two-year-old the “Step2 Downtown Delights Play Kitchen” for her 2nd birthday and she was happy with it. Really enjoyed the accessories that came with it as well. I picked it because it’s white and grey so not too yikes to look at in the playroom
Anonymous says
We have this same one and it is plenty for what our son does. I wanted plastic so it was easier to move. It has already live a few different places as we mix things up re COVID.
anon says
We have one from Step 2 that’s been a workhorse and has survived two kids and many cousins. It’s not as pretty as the KidKraft or PBKids models, but they’ve liked it.
Realist says
If you like an all wood look, there is Elves and Angels play kitchens: https://elvesandangels.com/collections/wooden-kitchens?page=2
NYCer says
We have a Teamson Kids kitchen. It was available on Amazon and Maisonette when we bought it.
Anon says
We got the hape one a few months ago (stove and oven unit and then a separate fridge) and it is very sturdy and durable. Took me and my dad about an hour to put together both units, and it would have been less had he read the directions right (we had to backtrack to step 3 from step 8 when we noticed the missing piece). It’s on the smaller side from a footprint perspective, but my bigger 3 year old plays just fine so assuming your 4.5 year old is average sized, I think it would still be fine.
Anonymous says
I’ve had the Ikea one for 3 years and it’s in great condition, regularly used, and perfect. Moved twice with it. I prefer things are are a bit more minimalist, and I like how it looks.
Anonymous says
I don’t mind paying for sneakers (or jeans) with a broken-in look, but the fake duct tape look puts me over the edge on this pair. These aren’t as pricey as some other brands (I think GG also has a pair, which are probably $500+), but to spend hundreds of dollars on shoes pretending to be held together with tape is really tone-deaf, IMO, especially given the current economy.
Anonymous says
I don’t see this at all
Anonymous says
Yeah, that silver strip is not doing a very good duct tape impression.
Anonymous says
It looks like aluminum/HVAC tape to me. But, I’m not a fan of faux distressed expensive sneakers.
Redux says
I definitely see it. This was A LOOK for all the skater boys in my high school. Who are now adults with expendable income… amazing how that works.
Anon says
Yes, I think this is a deliberate callback to that look.
anonamama says
Next season: addition of SUBLIME, written in white-out!
Anon says
HA!
Anon says
I must be a huge dork because it didn’t occur to me that the silver was supposed to look like duct tape. I like the shiny accent.
avocado says
I am here for the fancy sneaker trend. I just splurged (on sale!) on a pair of P448s in one of the more subtle colorways. My husband calls them clown shoes, but I don’t care. Right now I only wear them for curbside grocery pickup. I sure hope they’re still in style when I get to go places again.
ElisaR says
i just got the p448s on nordstrom sale! i wore them to a business breakfast meeting because hey…. pandemic. i hope they break in better, they’re kinda stiff right now.
anon says
Speaking of sneakers: I’m looking for a sneaker/boot hybrid to wear when it’s too cold for my mesh tennis shoes but I don’t want to haul out the boots. Any recommendations? And should I get black or gray if they’d primarily be worn with jeans? I’m not a big leggings person.
Anonymous says
I got these last winter and really recommend them. They’re more of a boot than a sneaker, but are warm, waterpoof, and really easy to walk in becuase they don’t go above the ankle. Sorel shoes/boots fit my feet really well, so I can walk around in them all day withought issues. I’d browse Sorel’s website, they have actual sneakers too that should hold up to winter conditions.
https://www.sorel.com/p/womens-out-n-about-plus-boot-1834081.html?dwvar_1834081_color=257&pos=11
anon says
These are cute! I also have had good luck with Sorels. I’m considering the mid-boot, but I’m not very into the puffer material on the tongue.
AnonATL says
They have a “waterproof” metallic mule in their sale section… because that makes a ton of sense
Anonymous says
I have the pull-on version of the Out N About and absolutely love them. They are to winter what Birks are to summer. Pull them on and go.
Anon says
I have a pair or Sorel’s I got on sale from REI and they’ve been perfect for the in between weather. I don’t remember the name but they’re low and waterproof and super light.
Anon says
I like the concept of the LL Bean snow sneakers for this purpose
anonymous says
I bought these a year ago and wear them all the time in the cooler weather.
https://www.dsw.com/en/us/product/dr.-scholls-if-only-wedge-slip-on-sneaker/480394?activeColor=200
Anon says
I have some low hiking boots/shoes that are waterproof and I wear in place of my rain boots.
Anonanonanon says
I love these for winter (I think it’s these, if not they’re close) https://www.sorel.com/p/womens-ainsley-chelsea-boot-1809101.html?dwvar_1809101_color=282&pos=26 They used to be great commuting shoes, too. I felt like they looked less goofy than tennis shoes with work clothes, plus they’re warmer!
Pull right on, so warm, weatherproof. I also have some waterproof black “suede” booties with a low heel from Blondo that I love for winter.
Anonymous says
I was just looking at the TOMS Paxton, but I can’t decide if I like them or if they’re ugly. They definitely look comfy though! I’ll report back if I get them.
anon says
I picked out some cute sweater + boots outfits for our fall family pictures. Well — it’s supposed to be 85 degrees during our photo shoot this weekend. Yikes. So clearly I need to regroup, but with what? I’m thinking DH and DS can wear a poplin shirt in fall colors, with jeans, but I have nothing very appropriate for myself and DD. Or the stuff that’s somewhat workable would clash with the items that DH & DS have. Gah. This is why I have a love/hate relationship with family photos. I really don’t have time to shop this week, not that I have many in-person options anymore!
Spirograph says
I’d probably just wear your originally-planned outfits, IF you think your kids can hang without melting down. T shirts under the sweaters so you can keep them off when not shooting. No one looking at the pictures will know it was weather-inappropriate!
Anon says
I wouldn’t do this unless you are magic people who don’t sweat. Sweat is obvious in photos and very hard for a photographer to remove (much harder than, say, removing a blemish or something like that).
AnotherAnon says
This is what I was going to suggest. Our photographer takes about 20 minutes to do an amazing shoot. My guys are going to kvetch either way, so I figure they might as well look stylish and just tough it out for 20 minutes (but 85 is not exactly considered “hot” here – YMMV). Since we normally drive to a park then get dinner after, I bring a short sleeve shirt for each of them to change into immediately after. Good luck!
Anon says
This is one of the things I hate most about living in the Midwest. We never know if it’s going to be 40 degrees or 90 degrees during our “fall” photos. What about a long dress and ankle boots?
anon says
Right. A week ago, our planned outfits would’ve been perfectly comfortable and fine.
Anonymous says
I finally got sick of this. Kiddo’s birthday is in October, so we would always get October photos and usually it would be freezing and/or raining. We had one year out of 4 where the weather was nice. I scheduled them for the first week in September this year and don’t regret it at all. Green trees are pretty, too!
anonamama says
What time are the photos? How long is the session? Ask your photog what they recommend.
Could you downgrade to solid color L/S tee + blanket scarf combo for you? Lighter weight t-shirt dress for DD?
AnotherAnon says
Well it’s rainin down in Texas… I guess I need to get some rain boots. I bought Hunters but they are way to hot and heavy for our climate. I just need a lightweight short rain boot for puddle jumping during day care drop off. Do you recommend bogs or crocs or secret option c?
AwayEmily says
Crocs for sure! So light.
Anonymous says
Crocs flats if you want closed toe, or sandals like flip flops or birkenstock EVA (or a knock off).
rosie says
I have lower Bogs (still a boot, but a short boot) and they are probably more hot and heavy than you want.
Anon says
Totes Cirrus. Super lightweight.
OP says
You had me at machine washable. Thanks!
Anon says
I have hunter boots in Wisconsin and they’re not warm enough. I guess they’re just for Tennessee.
Anon says
I know I’m preaching to the choir here but I’m so frustrated at all the cities and states that are keeping outdoor playgrounds closed while allowing business like hair salons and movie theaters to open. We’ve learned so much about the virus spreads since March and everything we know suggests transmission from surfaces is minimal and outdoor activities are much safer than indoor ones. I know it all comes down to money, and they’re keeping the playgrounds closed because they don’t help the economy, but gahhh it just feels like kids are getting disproportionately scr*wed by this situation.
Blueberries says
I share your frustration so much.
Anonymous says
Wow, where are you? In MA where they’ve been pretty strict about a lot of things, playgrounds opened during phase 2 of our reopening. Not the bathrooms and not indoor playspaces, but outdoor playgrounds.
Anonymous says
Not OP but I know from friends that playgrounds in Chicago and many cities in the Bay Area are closed. My Midwest state was aggressive about reopening, so we got our playgrounds back in late June, but that was phase 4 (of 5) and most indoor businesses opened first.
Anon says
I am so surprised by this, too. Where is this? Have you brought it up to the Public Health Dept? Maybe they forgot to open them. I know that sounds unlikely but it seems like the only explanation.
Anon says
Chicago and lol, no it’s definitely not an oversight. They make announcements every week “yep, still closed!” For us, it’s not so bad, because some of the suburban areas have opened their playgrounds and we can go there on weekends since we have a car. But it really irritates me on behalf of others who don’t have such easy access to the playgrounds that are open.
Anonymous says
Public playgrounds are closed all over California. I’m in northern California (San Jose), but it’s the same in SoCal. The beaches and parks are mostly open but the play structures are roped off. I even looked up some of the less densely populated areas like Marin and Santa Barbara, and it’s apparently the same story there. I think the order to keep them shut must come from the CA state government.
CCLA says
Same here in LA area. So frustrating. We take the kids to the green spaces but the actual play equipment is still roped off.
Anon says
100% agree. Houston playgrounds are still closed, have been since March. Even throughout the disasterous reopening of everything including bars. Some of the suburbs have opened them and it’s worth the trip now that they don’t give the kiddos third degree burns within seconds.
Walnut says
Seattle playgrounds are closed.
Anon says
We’ve generally tried to follow the feeding advice that we choose what to serve and kiddo chooses how much to eat, but how does that work with sweets? My 2 year old is super into helping me bake now, which is fun, and I want to let her enjoy the fruits of her labor but of course I feel like I have to limit the quantity – if I didn’t she’d probably eat a dozen cupcakes in one sitting. I don’t frame it as cupcakes are “bad” or anything, I just say that we’re only going to have one for now so we don’t ruin our appetite for dinner (and of course I follow the same rule). It seems pretty reasonable and I feel like there’s value in learning how to enjoy treats in moderation, but at the same time it seems like I’m violating all the rules about not limiting how much your kid can eat. Any advice? My closest mom friends don’t do sweets at all, so I’m flying blind here.
anon says
It’s totally normal to say that 1 cupcake is a normal serving size and that having more can make your tummy hurt. If she’s still hungry after her cupcake, she can have a piece of fruit or other snack.
Anonymous says
No the advice really isn’t “give your kid an endless buffet of food and let them decide when to stop”. It’s totally fine to serve a reasonable portion and let them decide whether Or not to finish it!
Anonymous says
you are also allowed to determine how much to serve in this philosophy. one of my girls will also eat sweets (or pasta) until she feels sick.
layered bob says
I think the Kids Eat in Color/Feeding Littles advice is that kids can have more of a food if there is more available, but you get to decide what is “available” – so leave 2 cupcakes out and put the rest away somewhere out of sight, and then there are only 2 available, one for each of you. But I think it is sometimes worthwhile to just… let her eat as many cupcakes as she wants. Maybe she would eat a dozen and then feel rotten, or maybe she’d eat one, excitedly start another one, and then lose interest part way through and end up eating 1 ½ but feeling like she got as much as she wanted.
My oldest was ice cream obsessed so a couple times I took her to the ice cream shop where they serve enormous serving sizes, like literally a full pint of ice cream, and just, let her eat it. No judgment, no comments one way or the other. Once she did actually eat the entire pint. The second time she ate about half. Ever since then she eats about ¼ – ½ cup and then is done, even if there’s more in her dish.
Anonymous says
Like all things in parenting, you can’t worry to much about strict adherence to the rules for any particular philosophy. We allow them to decide how much to eat for mealtimes but we also set a low minimum amount so they still taste a variety of foods – one bite for each year of age. So 2 year old has to have two bites of noodles or whatever. Only alternate food after dinner is a piece of toast with butter and a glass of milk. Dessert is fruit most nights and served about 15-20 minutes after dinner is finished. If dessert is a treat like a cupcake, they have to finish most of their healthy food first. It’s NEVER a ‘clean your plate thing’ though. ‘If you’re too full for some healthy food, you are too full for treats’. Between meals they are allowed fruits/veggies for snacks or occasionally a bowl of cereal or piece of toast or a muffin if I see the hangry emerging and dinner is still an hour away.
I bake a lot with the kids and we distinguish between foods that ‘help our bodies run and play and get strong’, and foods that are just treats – taste yummy but don’t help our bodies. With baking I generally let them have one serving right after it’s done – cupcake, two minimuffins or two cookies etc. Another serving as dessert after dinner and then as dessert at lunch or dinner in the next days. I also tend to do minimuffins or cookies over full sized cupcakes to keep the portion size reasonable for them. This is what works for us. YMMV of course. Aim for progress not perfection. If every meal isn’t a cupcake and your kid is eating some kind of vegetable most days of the week, anything else is just bonus.
CPA Lady says
I limit portions most days but sometimes let her eat as much as she wants so she can find her natural limit. If it means she feels horribly sick because she’s gone beyond that limit, so be it– it makes for a good reminder later when she’s whining about not getting more ice cream or whatever.
We also talk about how different foods have different roles in your body and sugary snacks are fun and delicious, but don’t make your body strong and healthy.
rosie says
This is also something I struggle with, although I’m finding that my toddler really likes the idea of treats but often does not even finish an item. So we try to limit to two treats a day (including things like hot chocolate) but don’t necessarily limit portions because she self-limits for now. We try to emphasize the importance of eating a variety of things to help our bodies grow strong and give us energy to play.
One thing that does often work for me since I also like to cook and bake with my toddler is to have some fruits or veggies out to snack on while we’re baking. My kiddo eats way more broccoli right after it’s roasted in the oven if I transfer it to a bowl and put it on the counter while we’re cooking than once it’s on her plate and we’re sitting down to dinner.
Anon says
Per Ellyn Satter, when you serve something as dessert you can limit portion size. But she suggests every so often having “treats” for the scheduled snack and letting your kid have as much as they want. Obsession over sweets mainly comes from a fear of scarcity, so by letting them eat 10 Oreos – and then learn how their bodies feel! – every once in a while you will combat the scarcity mentality.
Obviously don’t let your kid graze on sweets all day, or eat them instead of dinner at dinner time, but at a set snack time, maybe once or twice a month, it’s okay. Kids are remarkably good at listening to body signals if we don’t interfere, and we all overdo it sometimes. (Yes the thought of 12 cupcakes makes me panicky too, but a rare occurrence won’t hurt her and I doubt she’d actually eat them all!)
Anon says
Kids.eat.in.color on instagram operationalizes this (i.e. dessert with meal in limited amounts; dessert as snack with no limits) pretty well, if OP is interested in seeing it in action.
Anon says
I also bake with my kids and struggle with this. I usually focus on saving some for later which works well for my kids’ personalities.
Two under two? says
Any two under two moms here? I will have my second when my first is 15 months old, and I’m struggling a bit – I can’t seem to wrap my head around how to do things like bath time and bed time when it’s two instead of just one (even though I know it’s a few months away, I just can’t envision it), I find my pregnancy taking a backseat to life in general (with my first, I took a selfie every week, ran a 5k 3-5 times a week, and generally seemed to think about the pregnancy more if that makes sense, whereas now eating 3 square meals seems to be about the best I can manage), and then there are the comments – oh, not quite Irish twins, wow! fertile Myrtle, did you plan it that way?, you’re going to be soooo busy … I can’t even seem to manage a good comeback. I’m not sure what I’m asking – I guess has anyone else done the same and lived to tell the tale? Any words of wisdom? Any thoughts on preparing the first baby for the arrival of the second? We have a small house so the baby will sleep in a bassinet in our room until she’s 3-4 months and then transition to the same room as her older sister. Thank you.
Anonymous says
I had twins but I think a few of the strategies still apply. Babywearing was key – newborn in a wrap or toddler in an Ergo backcarry depending on that you are trying to do. More baby/toddler containing devices were also key – swing and exersaucer both upstairs and downstairs. Put toddler in exersaucer while you bathe baby or baby in swing while you bathe toddler.
Is your oldest in childcare? That could be valuable even if only a couple times a week. Or maybe have a mother’s helper come a couple times a week to give you a break?
Anon says
I don’t think there’s any way to prepare a 15 month old for a new baby. Most of my friends had two under two but the older one was typically 18-24 months and still didn’t really have any clue what was going on until the baby arrived. It’s really only with kids that are a bit older like 2-3 that you can really prepare them in advance. The second pregnancy getting less attention is super common, regardless of whether kids are 1 year apart or 5, so I wouldn’t worry about that.
AwayEmily says
I had two under two. For me, the first year was very, very difficult, for all the reasons you say. Thank god the older one was in daycare. But maybe it will help to hear that there IS a light at the end of the tunnel — my kids now share a room, get along great, and generally adore each other (most of the time).
Also I’m so surprised that you are getting all those comments! I feel like having kids about two years apart is…normal?
I was alone with both kids for part of every week when my husband traveled for work, so here are some tips based on that:
– have a safe place (pack n play or playpen) for the baby downstairs where you can put her quickly in case you need to run to the other room, deal with toddler, etc.
– limit trips up and down stairs
– I used to have my mom come over, with dinner, once a week. It was amazing to have some adult conversation and another grown-up around to help.
Anon says
My oldest two are 17 months apart. No need to prepare for baby – we talked about it in front of her but honestly young kids do great with a baby – the concept of jealousy just isn’t a thing! Our DD thought the baby was a special present we got just for her (toddlers are self centered!) and at 6 she still feels that way about her brother :)
My three pieces of advice are: when they’re really young make sure you have good spaces to safely put down baby in different parts of your house. Now that rock n plays are out I found that trickier. Tell baby out loud that baby needs to wait while you take care of older kid. And last, try your best to really get your older kids sleep locked down. Our older started climbing out of the crib soon after baby was born and it was a nightmare – neither of us slept for months and we were too tired to come up with solutions.
Good luck! My two who are close in age play so well together and truly are best friends. It’s awesome.
ElisaR says
yes life without rock n plays seems like it would make things MUCH tougher!
ElisaR says
Congratulations! Mine are 20 months apart. My husband is 15 months younger than his sister. The good news is that they grow up very close! Right now mine are 2.5 and 4. At times it’s hard, but honestly a 15 month old is hard no matter what. I will never forget b-feeding on the floor while playing with my other baby. Kid #1 never will remember life before sibling arrived. It’s hard but I imagine it’s also hard to go back to baby-world with a 3 year old. Hang in there. You will be ok! We did keep baby #2 in our room until 6 months just because it seemed disruptive to have them in the same room (they are now in the same room). I was also b-feeding at night so it seemed more necessary.
Spirograph says
I had 2 under 2, and survived to have 3 under 4 (on purpose, not that it’s anyone’s business). We did the same sleeping arrangements you’re planning, and it worked well. You’ve got this. You will figure out what works for you, and it will change a lot in the first year. The most important thing is for you and your partner to be very clear on what you need from each other. I remember being incredibly sad and frustrated that I was “stuck” with the boring baby all the time while my husband got to do fun stuff with the toddler. Combo feeding and having DH give bottles more often helped a lot. We also had to re-figure out division of labor for childcare and household tasks. The biggest change from 1 to 2 is that it’s harder, and feels like a bigger ask, to get alone time because the other parent has to be on for both kids, and that’s exhausting at those ages. Do it anyway, you each need time away for yourselves.
Other than hyping being a big sister, there’s not much you can do to prepare a toddler for a new baby, so don’t worry about that. Your older child will have ALL THE FEELINGS about the baby at some point, but just make time for her and follow her lead on that. Keep her regular childcare setup to have consistency if possible. Your second pregnancy will be different, and that’s OK. First pregnancies are new and everything about them feels like an *event*. Second pregnancies (with a toddler) can be kind of a slog. You’re tired, your body reacts differently, taking pictures every week doesn’t feel as magical… all of that is fine. You’ll probably also take a lot fewer baby pictures of your second child, and that’s normal, too.
The people making comments to you are awful, and don’t deserve more than a dry, “thank you, we’re excited to be expanding our family.”
Anon says
I have 2 girls who are 16 months apart, and it was tough. Recommendation – if possible, have 2 cribs so you don’t have to rush the older one out. (Unless she is already climbing out on her own, she should stay in the crib). It’s easier for you and she won’t feel as displaced. Not worth trying to save money by not having 2 cribs. Also, get as much help around the house as you can afford, obviously. I can’t even remember the bedtime/mealtime stuff – whatever you end up doing will be ok, I promise. The best part is my daughters are now in their 20s and they’re very close sisters – makes me so happy.
Anonymous says
I had 2 under 2. When my second was born, my middle was 19 months old. And I had a 4.5 year old.
Husband and I said “in 2 years, things will be ok.” Then “in 18 months…” and then “in 6 months…”
I am just here to tell you that now I have a 2.5, 4, and 7 year old. Things are okay!! We are almost out of diapers! Things will be even better when my toddler move on from her death wish phase.
Shortcuts:
– babywearing. First, the baby. Then sometimes the toddler.
– Double stroller
– backpack not diaper bag
– caffeine. You probably won’t sleep well for a year or so. My now 4 year old took until 3.5 to sleep through the night.
Good luck!!
Clementine says
Agreed on this! On all of it! Kids were the same ages too except that my oldest was closer to 4.
Sincerely, the baby is now 6 months, the toddler is 2 years old, and the oldest is 4.5. People sleep. Chaos is manageable. I didn’t lose my job.
Anonymous says
Yes to all except the double stroller, although that’s totally a fine choice. I typically just wore one of the kids and put the other in the stroller until the younger child was 1. Then, I got a bike trailer and stroller conversion kit for that. We only used it for walking in our neighborhood; I find double strollers in public places very unwieldy and always preferred babywearing + umbrella stroller because of public transit use.
Mine are now 4,5 and 7. Pandemic makes things insane, but last year was totally manageable (especially in comparison)!
Anonymous says
Ah, I’m the one that suggested the double. I had 3 kids and the toddler was a runner. Half the job of the stroller was to keep toddler in place and hold ALL THE THINGS.
For short trips, I did bag wear + umbrella stroller for toddler and the 4 y/o held my hand.
Anon says
I never comment out loud to people, but i do admit that sometimes in my head I’m wondering about people who have kids less than 20 months apart. Mostly bc i have twins and don’t think i would’ve chosen to have two so close together. I realize sometimes it’s not a choice and if it is a choice presumably you made that choice for a reason and believe your family can handle it
Anonymous says
+1 I would never say it out loud because it’s rude, but my mind is also blown by people who have kids 15 months apart. It would have been biologically impossible for us, since we hadn’t successfully P-in-V gardened when my first was six months old, and I was still a leaking mess, BFing and pumping all the time and still waking up with the baby in the middle of the night. Two years apart is completely different to me, since by the first birthday many moms have weaned, most kids are sleeping through the night, and most parents have gotten into something resembling a groove.
Eek says
You sort of did just say it out loud though, didn’t you? At least the internet version of out loud.
Anonymous says
+1, I’d never say anything out loud, but I always wonder about others’ family planning choices. Especially with twins and then a younger kid. All the people I know personally who have twins, the twins are the last/only pregnancy and the parents are pretty open about being shell shocked and DONE after getting through the first couple years with twins.
I have cousins 11 (!!) months apart. Their parents struggled for years with infertility and their first child was conceived with IVF, so it didn’t occur to them that they needed to be careful with BC.
Anonymous says
This also happened to my cousin. Took them 4 years including IUI to get pregnant with their first. Their second was born 11 months after their first.
Anonymous says
I know someone who had twins and then went on to have three more kids (all singleton pregnancies). And she originally only wanted two kids, but I guess changed her mind after the twins. I have two (not twins) and can’t imagine more, but to each their own.
Anonymous says
Mine are 13 months apart. I suggest you get used to the idea that the goal should always be man on man defense until the oldest is at least 3. Unless one of the kids is sleeping, it’s a two parent or parent + helper job. It is not achievable all the time, but it is helpful to realize that should be the new normal. Covid may impact this, but even a mother’s helper makes a huge difference. Another set of hands, or eyes, is necessary.
Also, confinement strategies for one or both when you can’t have 2 people. Bouncer for younger one, crib as long as the older one can handle it, play pen if you are ok with that (and I was). You absolutely need a 100% safe spot to park both kids if you are alone. Not to say they will be confined, but you need them to both be safe while you take a 2 minute bathroom break. And it’s helpful to know that you can put one in a safe space while you give 100% to the other kid. Because sometimes you just need to give one kid 100% and it is totally ok for the other kid to deal.
Double stroller walks are life saving. Both kids safe in one spot, and time to walk for mom. Those saved me while the kids were both under 2!
And finally, when the younger one hits 3 it just gets so much easier. A mom that had kids 12 months apart told me that when my youngest was about 6 months. At the time I thought it was cruel to point out that it would be hard for 2.5 more years! But it’s true. It just gets easier around 3 and easier every month after that. The kids still can be hard. But they are actually so bonded to each other. Staying home during covid has made this more apparent.
And there are other issues when they are older – like the younger one always wants to do what the other one is doing, even if she isn’t quite developmentally there. The older one will sometimes revert to ill behavior when he sees his little sister doing it (but she is younger and it actually is more developmentally appropriate for her).
ifiknew says
Mine are 24 months apart. I was so overwhelmed and it wasn’t a perfect plan and i LOVE to plan everything.
I know my DD was a lot older, but here’s what worked for bedtime and bathtime.
Bathtime – keep older one contained with tv for 10 minutes while bathing younger one. Vice versa as well. Someone’s upset A LOT and I got used to leeting the baby cry a lot longer than I ever let my older one cry when she was a baby. I was solo a lot though so there was no other option.
Bedtime – My DD could not be quiet when I was putting baby down for nap or night and it was infuriating that he’d be falling asleep (finally) and she’d start screaming about something. It was so hard, but it gets better. I got a night nurse for many weeks, something that I never needed with the first.
Honestly, it is hard, it’s very hard, but it’s SO worth it. Even now at 15 months and 3 year 15 months, it’s light years easier. It’ll continue to get better every month and every year.
Ignore the haters, I got plenty of comments too. My parents still love to say how silly it was that we had them so close, but I know when they’re 3 and 5 and especially 4 and 6, it’s going to SO MUCH BETTER. My sister is six years younger than me and it still feels like we were two only children. Not really ideal IMO.
Hang in there.
Anon says
I have 3 under 3 (younger two are twins). My bathtime trick is that my kids get bathed once a week and are spot-cleaned in between.
Anon says
My second pregnancy was also backseat which was fine. I was grateful that I embraced the first one. My two are 25 months apart and people act like they’re crazy close in age.
Anon says
“and then there are the comments – oh, not quite Irish twins, wow! fertile Myrtle, did you plan it that way?, you’re going to be soooo busy … ”
If you need comebacks, I am here to help!
Re: being busy. “It’ll be challenging, but it will force us to prioritise. Once we eliminate useless time-sucks like Facebook and making random comments about other people’s family planning, though, we should be in good shape.” Or variant: “Yeah, I guess we’ll be busy. Probably won’t have enough time to get our noses into other people’s business, though, so there’s a silver lining.”
Fertile Myrtle: “If I’m Fertile Myrtle, what’s your name – Frigid Brigid?” Make sure you deliver with a big, warm smile.
Planning. You handle this one by asking them what they’re really asking. “Are you trying to ask if little Timmy is unplanned? Just explain for me what you plan on doing with that information – telling him he wasn’t as wanted as Suzie was?”
Alternately: “Lady, I’m not going to out-breed the Duggars if I keep putting an entire 15 months between my kids. Next ones will be Irish twins, and the ones after that, and the ones after that.”
Blanket? says
My kiddo started pre-K this year, and they have naptime. The school doesn’t provide blankets, but the kids are allowed to bring a blanket back and forth for naptime. This didn’t come up until after the schoolyear started, and backpacks/lunch boxes were already purchased. Kiddo had been taking a muslin blanket that really isn’t long enough for her but she initially said it works becuase she lays there with her legs bent. She wants something longer, which is unerstandable. But all of our longer blankets won’t fit in her bag along with her lunchbag – they’re much thicker. And her school insists on cramming everything she brings into her bag at the end of the day – blanket, lunch bag, sweater (since it is 45 when she leaves for school and 80 when she comes home), papers, etc. It is just too much in there. I let her take a bigger blanket today, but it is going to be rough when the smash it all back in. And I hate that her backpack is bursting at the seams, since it seems bad for the backpack itself.
So, any recommendations on a thin blanket that will pack up pretty small but is around 50 inches long? I’ve also considered a new backpack, but the PB Kids one she has is sold out in the next size up. I’m not counting it out down the road, but for now focusing on a blanket. Thanks!
Anonanonanon says
I would search major retailers’ websites for a travel blanket of some kind. I used to use a blanket we bought in-flight once for things like this because it was thin but large enough to cover a kid. A blanket designed for use on an airplane may be your best bet.
TheElms says
Probably an unusual solution, but what about a Turkish bath sheet sized towel? That would be long enough but they roll up really small.
Anonymous says
This is what I would look for. The shape is more rectangular than square and light/easy to pack.
rosie says
Costco has a lightweight, packable down throw. Only problem is I’m not sure how it would hold up to frequent washing, which I assume you’d want for this. It also comes in a sack so you could clip it to the outside of the backpack with a carabiner, maybe?
If the muslin blanket is warm enough, could you sew 2 together to be long enough? Or should be easy for a seamstress or tailor to do for you.
Anon says
I think my husband had one that was made with synthetic filling. It was designed for camping (from REI or somewhere) and washed well.
anon says
You could buy a piece of flannel around that size? You could neaten the edges if you care (no-sew blanket). My mom made a whole bunch of swaddle blankets out of thin flannel that folded up pretty nicely.
octagon says
This is exactly what we did for my very tall kiddo – bought a 45×60 wide piece of flannel at a local fabric store and rough-hemmed the edges to keep them from fraying. I actually bought two so we could have one in the wash if needed.
OP says
Can either of you give more information regarding the flannel I’m looking for? Buying fabric is way outside my comfort zone.
Anonymous says
They make sleeping bags that have backpack straps. Beach towels too.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Ok, another “food-themed” question from me: Do you all give your kids their dessert with the dinner (ala Feeding Littles I think) or do you say you need to have dinner before having dessert? And if they don’t have dinner, no dessert? I know the general advice is to not make them finish their plates, which we don’t do, we more encourage them to try the various food on their plates and are (usually) ok even if they just have the chicken fingers or whatever. And if they try something, they get dessert, which lately has been gummy fruits. If they don’t eat anything, no dessert (rare). I feel like if I put the gummies on the dinner plate, that’s all they would eat but not according to Feeding Littles? But then I’m making it seem like dinner is just a slog to get through to get the “good stuff”?
Anonanonanon says
TBH we usually don’t do dessert at all. Not to say we never have treats, but I try to avoid attaching them or presenting them to kids as a meal course. I don’t want dinner to be something they feel like they have to force down, or that eating is something you should be rewarded for. I also try to avoid instilling in them that unhealthy food is a “reward” for something.
Again, not saying we’re the healthiest eaters in the world. We had apple cinnamon rolls with caramel icing for breakfast yesterday because we picked apples over the weekend. Sometimes I feel like making brownies and there are brownies available after dinner. But, I usually present it as a treat separate from the meal, and don’t even tell the kids they exist until after the meal, if that makes sense
AwayEmily says
Same. We by no means limit sugar (we bake a fair amount and are all ice cream lovers) but we don’t categorize food as “dessert” and rarely have it after dinner. It tends more to be in place of a snack (eg one day after school instead of giving them an apple I’ll give them a popsicle).
AnotherAnon says
I like this strategy!
avocado says
We mostly have treats as snacks instead of an after-dinner dessert. A big part of it is that we are so tired by the end of dinner that we don’t have the energy for dessert at that point.
Anon says
I’m the one above who asked for advice re: baking, and we also don’t do dessert as a regular part of dinner. We’re definitely not a super healthy household either, I make pancakes on weekend mornings, we bake a dessert pretty much every weekend and we visit our local ice cream store at least once a month, plus our dinners tend to be carb-heavy (lots of pizza and pasta). But we don’t usually have a dessert as part of dinner. Kiddo eats lots of fruit with her dinner, but I don’t count that as dessert.
Also OMG apple caramel cinnamon rolls sound amaaaaaazing, please send some to my house!
Anonanonanon says
It was a sallys baking addiction recipe, highly recommend!!
Anon says
Yum! I love her recipes. Her chocolate chip scones are dupes of the ones my favorite scone shop sells.
Anon says
Same. I am not a dessert person, so it’s a special treat, usually midafternoon, not tied to a meal.
Anonymous says
In our house, we usually have a main, a fresh cut fruit, and a vegetable. Kiddo has to eat nearly all of her vegetable and some good protein bites to get dessert. I don’t put it out with the meal. I don’t follow any sort of guide. This just feels like the balance I want to teach. I don’t worry about fruit because she eats a lot of it without issue for snacks, etc.
Anonymous says
+1
AnotherAnon says
I tried giving dessert with dinner. Kiddo (3.5) would eat the 3 m&ms, say he was full, then try to leave the table. So I stopped doing that. Two strategies I use (neither of which is perfect): send dessert to school. I also introduce new vegetables at school lunch since peer pressure gets him to try new things (maybe it was you who suggested that?) The other strategy is basically what another poster said: don’t discuss or offer dessert during dinner. Just focus on dinner. Then later you can have baked goods or an ice cream bar or something. My goal is to make it NBD. Raisins are treats. So is fancy cheese. This is kind of silly but I feel like everything we eat is a luxury item: we buy cage free eggs! Our vegetables are organic! I feel fortunate to have these choices available to me and the income to not bat an eyelash at buying them.
Redux says
We recently divorced dessert from dinner. I felt like we were very deep in the “dinner’s only purpose is to get to dessert” line of thinking, and that was having a visible effect on my kids’ relationship to their plate and also to dinner itself– which became a race to finish and a negotiation on how many more bites in order to earn dessert. It was stressful for everyone (especially my DH, the cook) and not the way I want dinner to be.
Instead, we finish dinner, take our plates to the sink, the adults start cleaning up while the kids play and after about 15 or 20 minutes, then we offer dessert to everyone, without linking it to whether you ate “enough” dinner. It’s helping a lot. The other thing we changed is that we used to set plates of food on the table, and now we bring the dishes to the table and everyone serves themselves. My kids are 6 and 3.
Anon says
We serve dessert sometimes, ive def never called it that, i just call it whatever it is (cookie, fruit snack,etc) and i serve it with dinner and don’t make a big deal out of it. Sometimes they eat the dessert first, sometimes they don’t touch it at all, and if they want more i just say there is no more on the menu tonight. Our twins are 2
CPA Lady says
I give my kid her allotted two pieces of candy (or if it’s M&Ms, one of each color) first thing in the morning.
Tying a dessert to a meal turned it into a horrible, miserable hostage negotiation type stand-off every time. She is hungry enough in the morning that her mouthful of candy doesn’t damage her appetite for breakfast in any way.
If we do any “bigger” type sweets like baked goods or ice cream, that usually happens as an afternoon snack, usually on the weekend.
Anon says
We do dessert just on weekends. We also don’t use it as a reward for eating a good dinner or trying foods – if the family has dessert, everyone gets some. Sometimes we cancel dessert if there is major misbehavior during the meal, but then it’s canceled for everyone
Anonymous says
I hated when my parents did this. I constantly felt like I was being punished for my brother’s misbehavior.
Anon says
Noted. We basically only do it if both kids are off the wall/dumping food, screaming. I don’t think we’ve ever canceled for just one (they play off each other and that’s when it gets crazy). We also let them leave the table when they are done and go play so we give them a lot of leeway.
Jeffiner says
We used to only do dessert on Sundays, but over the past few months we’ve slid into dessert every night. Our rules are that everyone has to be done eating their dinner (however much they want to eat) before anyone gets dessert, and once you have dessert no more snacks for the night. Sometimes DD will eat a decent amount, sometimes she’ll only eat one bite. Her choice, and its rare that she complains about being hungry later. But she does sit with us and talks while we eat (she’s 5) and waits for dessert. Her dessert is usually a lollipop or a single piece of candy.
When she was younger, sometimes I would put the dessert on her plate, if she asked very nicely. But it was usually a “wait for Mommy and Daddy” answer.
Anonymous says
Desserts are on special occasions, not daily. That’s at least every Friday after dinner, at dinner parties (remember those?), and weekend treats. Don’t require kids to have eaten entire dinner, but we will say things like “seems like you’re not very hungry, so I’m sure you’re not hungry for dessert either” if the kids are distracted and not eating anything. We usually serve at least one item we know they will eat.
Anon says
We don’t usually do dessert, but my older kid only likes fruit, fish, and sweets. He is also a very light eater. So we cannot give him sweets or he’d eat that and be done eating. We usually make him eat some of everything to “earn” dessert.
SC says
We often serve dessert after dinner. Dessert is never tied to eating dinner. If he doesn’t have dinner, he still gets dessert. However, we choose the dessert, and unless I’ve made or bought something special, we don’t talk about what dessert is until after dinner. So, if he doesn’t eat dinner, we might offer a couple of dates or 2 pieces of candy or one miniature cupcake.
It’s rarely an issue for us because Kiddo takes a medication that’s also an appetite suppressant. He doesn’t eat much lunch, so he’s usually very hungry at dinnertime. For the same reason, he doesn’t have treats earlier in the day–I like to give him a fairly large breakfast with protein and fat to fuel him up for the day, and he’s not hungry until dinnertime, even for treats. Seriously, the last 2 weekends, I’ve offered to take him out for ice cream or sno-balls in the afternoon, and he’s declined.
Agh says
How is everyone navigating kids sickness this fall? My four year old has a cough today – he also sneezed a couple times so I’m sure this is our first cold of the year. But do we keep him home? His siblings? His school doesn’t require him to stay home unless he runs a fever.
Anon says
I personally wouldn’t go above and beyond the daycare’s illness policy, assuming I had no known COVID exposure and hadn’t recently engaged in a high-risk activity like attending a wedding. Ours requires to stay home for cough, but not sneezing or runny nose and we sent DD today even though she was sneezing this morning and had a slightly drippy nose. I’m pretty sure it’s allergies (it’s major ragweed season here and she’s allergic), but if it’s not, it’s something she got at daycare since DH and I aren’t sick and she doesn’t go anywhere except daycare.
Anonymous says
+1
Our school requires a covid test if the child has 2 or more symptoms from a pretty extensive list that includes congestion/runny nose. I don’t intend to keep my kids home or get them covid tested if they are exhibiting only symptoms that are consistent with a cold or allergies — one of my kids seems to have a runny nose from October-May every year, so it’s not a great indicator. Dry cough, shortness of breath, fever, and other flu-like symptoms, sure, I will keep them home and get them tested.
AwayEmily says
My toddler got what seemed like a cold last week (runny nose, sneezing) and I didn’t keep him home but I was very clear about his symptoms during the screening part of dropoff so they had that info for their records and could alert me if anything changed.
So Anon says
I really struggle with this. Our school district has a long list of potential symptoms for covid. If a child has one of the primary symptoms or two of the less common symptoms, they are required to stay home. My daughter (7) woke up with an upset tummy yesterday, so I let her stay home. (It was likely because she got gluten in at her dad’s over the weekend. Grrrr.) I’m also not clear on what the expectation is in terms of testing. If a kid has a fever, should that child be tested? One more thing to navigate…
Anonymous says
Our district includes runny nose. It is going to be a long winter.
Anon says
Do they have any guidelines on when to test? Our daycare only suggests testing if there’s been exposure to a positive case or if the pediatrician recommends it. I asked our ped and she said she would typically only test if there’s a high fever or a persistent cough. A typical runny nose/cough that goes away in a few days she wouldn’t test. So that’s what we’ll do this winter unless either ped or daycare changes their minds.
Anon says
My kid’s daycare requires staying home for any symptoms of anyone in the household, including cough and congestion. However, they do allow a return upon a negative test or clearance from a doctor.
We’ve done a lot of urgent care visits and testing.
I think the policy makes a lot of sense for little ones who aren’t wearing masks and don’t have a great sense of personal space. However, I don’t know if I’d go this far if it wasn’t required/the norm.
Anonymous says
Our daycare is the same on screen-outs, but negative test is insufficient– need a specific form filled out by a doc, or a note saying a particular phrase. Runny nose is enough to screen out. As someone said above, it’s going to be a REALLY long winter.
Anonymous says
This is one of the major reasons we have a half time nanny rather than full time daycare this year. Even at half time it seemed like we would get more actual care, more predictably!
Anon says
We are really conservative (and have work flexibility), so we keep them home with two symptoms (daycare requires it for a fever/cough only). Our ped group will COVID test once it’s been three days (to avoid false negatives). We only test if they’re still sick once their eligible to be tested (which has only happened once). Our one test was negative!
Our older one (4) hardly got sick last year. Our little one (2) did but it was his first daycare winter. We are hoping they’re both immune to most stuff this year!
Car Seat Help says
Any recommendations for a convertible car seat for our secondary vehicle? I have a 19 month old, and we need a convertible car seat for our second vehicle for the rare occasions that we have to use that car for daycare pickups. I don’t want to pay too much because it will literally be used only a few times a year. A lot of the cheaper options have reviews that rear facing isn’t as secure as expected or requires rolled up towels to be level/secure. That seems…unsafe. Second vehicle is a Honda Accord if that matters. I know this has been discussed a lot on here, but the search function for the comment threads is not great.
TheElms says
I’d look at the Graco Contender 65. It’s generally around $130 but I’ve seen it on sale for around $100. https://csftl.org/graco-contender-review/
AwayEmily says
Cosco scenera next! It can double as a travel carseat.
TheElms says
I would not recommend this seat because it will likely be outgrown soon. Most kids outgrow it around 2.5 because when rear-facing they no longer have 1 inch of space between the top of their head and the top of carseat. And its outgown forward facing because the top harness slots are low and they no longer come from above the kid’s shoulders. The 40lbs / 40 inch RF/43inch FF limits are misleading I think.
Anon says
Same. My kid outgrew at 2. We haven’t had to fly anywhere since (and certainly aren’t now) so I haven’t yet figured out what our next travel carseat will be. Likely renting until we can do a high back booster since I don’t think we’ll be flying much until then.
Anon says
Yep, the stated limits are incredibly misleading. My kid outgrew it before her second birthday and she wasn’t yet 40″.
anon says
Totally depends on the kid, though. My 30lb, 38″ 3.5 yo still fits in it both rear-facing and forward-facing because all her height is in her legs. At least 4 of her 3yo friends are also still rear-facing in theirs. I’m not claiming it will be the perfect seat for the OP, but it is possible to have it work until age 3 or beyond.
Anon says
This seat is cheap, but it may not last OP for very long. The weight limit is 40 pounds, so that shouldn’t be an issue for a while unless your kid is really big, but it’s easy to outgrow it in height. For rear-facing it has the standard “head one inch below the top of the seat limit.” Normally when your child outgrows a carseat rear-facing you can turn it around, but for some reason the Scenera NEXT is outgrown height-wise in the forward facing position around the same time (or even before) you outgrow it rear-facing. My child hit the height limit before turning 2.
rosie says
Without knowing the size of your kid or what you consider to be paying too much, I’d suggest checking out the Graco extend2fit 3-in-1. You can RF for longer, install is pretty straightforward, and you can use it as a highback booster for an older child. Under $200.
sg says
I would go with a graco – extend to fit, 4ever, allin1, etc. They are reasonably priced and convert to FF and booster mode (some).
AwayEmily says
Great point, if your kid is on the bigger side they could outgrow it. My very average kid fit in just fine until age 4.
AwayEmily says
(re: the Scenera Next)
anon says
Carseat question: My 6-year-old is 43 pounds, and we still have her in a convertible seat. When did you transition your kids to a high-back booster? I don’t think we’re quite there yet because she’s still wiggly, but I’ve started thinking about it. I have amnesia about when my older kid transitioned, and carseat regulations have changed since then anyway.
CCLA says
We are not there yet, but you can get a 5-pt harness seat that is not a convertible and that converts to hbb. I’d look into that, may be more comfortable for her and gets you the 5-pt harness still.
Anonymous says
We had one of these and found that it was too large to work well in booster mode. It was too difficult for kiddo to reach the seat belt buckle.
anon says
The general recommendation is at least 5 years old and able to stay in a seated position while driving. In a 5-pt harness, it doesn’t matter if she wiggles because the straps will stay in the correct position to properly restrain her in the case of an accident, but in a booster she needs to be able to sit still or else the seatbelt won’t be in the correct spot.
Over 40 lbs is also a good goal (and required for most/all boosters in Canada), but that’s not an issue for you.
Anonymous says
Summer after first grade. But I’m Canadian and I wanted to get through one more winter before switching to HBB. Risk of car accidents being higher in winter. HBB to backless booster around age 8-9. Check height on your seat as well. I had to get new seats after K in order to get through grade one. Oldest was out of the seat on height way before weight. Graco Tranzitions was a great 5 point harness seat that converts to a HBB and a backless booster. It looks like a booster so kid didn’t mind staying in 5 point harness. You’ll sometimes see them referred to as ‘harnessed boosters;.
Anonymous says
We switched where you are—for us this summer (between k and 1). We have a Britax high backer booster, which has a optional piece that goes between the legs. It’s a nice reminder to not squirm too much (and eliminating it is incentive for good behavior)
Anonymous says
40 lbs and 4 years old are the absolute minimums for a booster. My 4 year old is 43 lbs, too, and we have a booster that we use for trips to daycare (in our neighborhood), but still use the 5 point harness for longer trips and/or anything involving a highway, both for speed-related safety and because the kid flops when he falls asleep, so the 5 point harness is necessary to keep him in the right position.
Anon as well says
I’m planning on keeping my 6 year old in a car seat until he is too big for it. I have a convertible for one car and a car seat that coverts to a high-back booster in another.
Anon says
Does she want to switch? My 4 year old is still safely rear facing. He doesn’t want to turn around.
Anonymous says
My 6 y/o (who turns 7 this fall but is in 1st) is 58lbs, 4’2” and has been in a backless booster for at least a year. She was in a high back booster around her 5th birthday. She met all the requirements, including and especially her ability to behave appropriately in it.
I have a 4.5 year old who is technically tall enough and heavy enough, but she won’t sit still / keep the straps where they belong. Her butt is still in a 5 point harness.