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Mothers are all over the board about what they like to wear while pumping and nursing, but many readers have noted their love of wrap dresses — and Ann Taylor has a ton of cute ones right now. This navy wrap dress with diagonal stripes from Ann Taylor would also be great for hiding stains. On sale now for $84.99, and available in sizes 00 through 14 (regular and petite). Diagonal Stripe Wrap Dress
(L-all)
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Anon says
Any suggestions for how to best estimate the market salary for a position from online sources? I’m looking at Glassdoor, but I’m seeing about a 150K range.
anne-on says
Can you sort by region? I wouldn’t be hugely surprised by that given the possible differences in region and prior experience.
Does the position have any online groups? I know some organizations (CFAs, CFPs, PR pros) often have surveys that report the average salaries for members in particular areas.
Moving says
Thanks all for your encouragement about my upcoming move. I was able to pack 4 boxes last night and I’m feeling a bit better today (I think).
Anon in NYC says
Great! Every little bit helps.
CPA Lady says
I like the dress but … man, “great for hiding stains” as a selling point for work-wear just makes me want to put on my stretch pants and comfort shoes, hide under my desk, and admit I’ve given up. I’m all for practicality and whatnot, but good grief.
AIMS says
I’m with you. Especially sad that this is a selling point on the moms s*te. Like, I’m the first to admit that stains happen and esp. if you’re pumping but still. Do we have to be so depressing about it? Also, I don’t even think this would hide stains that well.
CLMom says
Perhaps I’m more prone to spills, but hiding stains is something that I thought of before I ever planned on having a child. It’s also the same reason why I’m partial to white…I can actually bleach out the stains if need be.
CPA Lady says
Yeah, I got a dark blue couch pre-child and carry a tide pen religiously because I’m a spiller. It’s just the whole narrative of “well now that I’m a mom I’ll be a hot mess” just makes me sad and does no service to working mothers, IMO.
Anon says
Except all of the current Ann Taylor wrap dresses are super uncomfortable! Anyone have any recommendations for ones that are comfy?!
AIMS says
DvF are good but you have to wear a slip/camisole under because they tend to be way too low cut. I’ve picked up a few at the Saks outlet and Last Call for around $120 so not that much more than AT and 100% silk jersey and they wear like iron.
AIMS says
ETA: I’ve also heard nice things about Julie Brown dresses but never tried myself. The prints tend to be a bit more preppy than I usually go for, but the necklines are a bit higher than DvF (not silk though). They have lots of sale at Nordstrom Rack. This one is cute and has a similar 70s vibe to the one featured: https://www.nordstromrack.com/shop/product/63012/julie-brown-wrap-dress?color=Tan+Navajo#
Clementine says
I have a super comfortable faux-wrap dress from White House Black Market. It’s a synthetic knit but super forgiving and flattering and just lovely.
I also have the Gemma wrap dress from Banana Republic and it’s just fine. I do wish the knit were a little heavier and I do tend to wear more under-layers with it than with other dresses.
AwayEmily says
wrap dresses are tough because it depends so much on where the waistline is and how that works with your own body. I’ve had horrible high-end ones and awesome Old Navy ones, but never found one that consistently works. Sadly I think the best option is just to try on lots of different ones until you find one that is great. Agreed on heavier weight being better, though.
Anonymous says
And short! I bought this dress during a 40% off sale only to get it and realized it is waaaaaaaay too short. Granted, I am on the tall side (5’9) but it was nowhere near as long as it is pictured on the model here.
Anon in NYC says
I never feel confident in a wrap dress.
MDMom says
Me either. I never feel like the neckline is secure if viewed from side and they don’t look as nice with visible camisole. I also think they just aren’t flattering on my body type. I’m petite with a bit of a poochy belly and I think they really highlight the pooch (the fabric is always clingy). I’ve bought a few and rarely wear them, usually end up in goodwill pile. I have a similar issue with most fit and flares- I feel like I should like them and I do in theory, but they just don’t flatter me. Always ends up returned or donated. Much prefer pencil skirts and shifts.
Aon says
How much flexibility do you give your child to dress him/herself? This came up in conversation earlier this week with another parent. Our child has a drawer of seasonally appropriate apparel that works for school (i.e., there is not one item of clothing that isn’t well suited for running/playing or that I care gets totally dirty or muddy). Provided he isn’t totally ill-prepared for the weather, he has total control over what he wears.
On one hand, I’ve never had a fight with him about what he needs to wear to school, and he gets ready entirely on his own (he just turned 4). He knows that after breakfast, he needs to go upstairs, put his pajamas in the hamper, get out clean clothes, and get dressed. He is often proud of the outfits he picks out for school, and is getting increasingly better at buttons, etc.
On the other, he rarely matches, and he certainly puts outfits together that I wouldn’t choose. And, on top of the mismatching, he’ll add “flairs” – capes, costumes, silly hats, etc. A friend asked if I worry he’ll be bullied. Another friend mentioned in passing that she would never let her child go to school without matching.
We just moved this summer so he’s in a new school, so I guess the bullying thing is more on my radar than it was previously (when he was at the school he had attended since a baby, and they were well acquainted with his unique style). But the matching thing – I guess I feel like I’d rather encourage his independence? And selfishly – I don’t worry at all about getting him ready in the morning, and I’m not looking to add something into to the morning struggle. Am I missing something?
Anonymous says
You’re not missing anything you’re doing great! I let my kids pick out their own clothes as long as it’s weather appropriate. I do somewhat ‘cull’ the options by buying a season’s worth of clothes at a time – like mostly darker pants (black/navy/dark grey – helps with stains etc). Impressed that at age 4 he can pick out clothes and dress himself in under an hour – my 5 year old is the worst for getting ready on time.
“A friend asked if I worry he’ll be bullied. Another friend mentioned in passing that she would never let her child go to school without matching.” Who says this stuff to a friend (even if they’re thinking it)?
Friend #1: “I’m not worried he’ll be bullied and we’ll deal with it if it happens. I don’t want to limit him based on what a bully *might* do in the future.”
Friend #2: “Really? Never thought of forcing him to match all the time for my personal preference. I can’t imagine limiting their choice and imagination at such a young age!”
I’d probably throw in a “Actually, I think it’s more important to teach kids to treat other people with respect regardless of what they wear.” as well.
Katala says
Yeah, those comments sound really judgy. Who cares if a 4-year-old’s clothes match? I personally find it adorable when kids pick their own outfits because it shows their developing personality. And I don’t think you can prevent bullying by controlling a kid’s outfits. How exhausting to try to monitor all behavior based on what a hypothetical mean kid might target. Sheesh. It sounds like you’re doing great!
CPA Lady says
“I’d probably throw in a “Actually, I think it’s more important to teach kids to treat other people with respect regardless of what they wear.” as well.”
^ yeah, this. It raises flags to me when adults point out reasons they think kids are going to get bullied. What exactly are they telling their own kids with that kind of attitude? Like if we were all magically identical and perfectly compliant then no one would get bullied? No. It’s not the victim’s fault. Or the victim’s parents fault. It’s on us as parents to teach our kids to be kind, not to point out that your kid looks weird. That’s just uncalled for.
I pick my kid’s clothes because every time I try to give her a choice either between items or of the entire clothing drawer, she just shouts “NO!” to everything. I will admit that I’m the crazy hair bow lady and that it is sickly important to me that she have a matching hair bow. However, she is interest in picking out her shoes and socks, and I let her do whatever she wants with those, and would with her clothes if she cared (but sorry, not sorry, the hair bow would need to match). So yeah, she did go to daycare wearing a tank top, shorts, bright pink cupcake socks and tiny winter boots the other day. Once she starts school, she’ll be in a uniform K-12, so I figure she can dress as wacky as she wants between now and then.
I think kids do need to learn the concept of socially acceptable dressing that shows awareness of their environment. However, the age for that is not 4. I would say that by the time I was in high school I understood what clothing items were appropriate in various settings. I then chose to dress like a hippie to demonstrate my Free Spirit (I was such a rules follower that this is hilarious to me in retrospect). My husband’s parents were so hands off they didn’t tell him he needed to bathe more than once a week or wear clean clothes when he was a pre-teen. That’s the sort of thing where some parental intervention might have been good.
But a four year old’s clothing choices? Not something I’d worry about.
I need a name says
Your 4-year-old is a superstar if he’s able to get out pants, a shirt, socks, and underwear, put them on, and put his dirty clothes in the hamper. At that age it’s easy enough to constrain their choices by putting seasonally appropriate school/play clothes in the drawers they can reach, and it’s super cute when they have clearly chosen their own outfits. The Lag Liv blogger’s photos of her youngest kid are adorable examples of preschooler fashion self-determination.
I wouldn’t worry about bullying. If anything, your child is probably the envy of all his classmates because he gets to pick out his own clothes. I cannot count the number of times I have heard my child whine, “But everyone else gets to choose their own clothes!” after I have rejected her plan to wear a party dress to school on P.E. day.
Closet Redux says
My 2.5 year old picks out her own clothes and she looks ridiculous, 9 times out of 10. But I love it. She goes to daycare with a good mix of independent dressers and kids whose moms put them in matching cutesy outfits and honestly I feel bad for the cutesy outfit kids. I like to think that I’m raising my kid to be independent, creative, curious, and brave, and a tiny part of that is picking out her own clothes. I wonder about the messages being relayed to the little ones — girls, all of them– who are made to think that they have to look cute and put together, or otherwise need to perform with their appearance. I think these attitudes start really early and I am happy to do my part to rage against that particular conformity machine.
anon says
I don’t enforce matching or my own taste. Frankly I’m just impressed that you’ve managed to get your newly minted 4 year old to get dressed completely independently and put his pajamas where they go. I think the only thing you are “missing” is being controlling, and that is a good thing. Your child is not a canvas on which to express your own fashion preferences, you know?
Spirograph says
I also draw the line at weather appropriate (my 3 year old reeeeeeally wanted to wear his thermal Spiderman PJs to school/daycare when it was 90 degrees. No.), and beyond that all bets are off, I’m just glad he dresses himself. Other kids are just as likely to appreciate pirates and dinosaurs and a cape all in the same outfit as make fun of it! I figure peer pressure will eventually limit the creativity, so I enjoy it while it lasts.
JTX says
I pick out my 3-year-old’s clothes, but only because (1) he hasn’t expressed an interest in picking out his clothes, and (2) if I let him pick out his own clothes, he would take FOREVER. Generally, I pick out clothes for both kids (1 and 3) the night before, and get them dressed in the morning after breakfast. For my family, it’s the fastest and easiest method. That being said, if he starts expressing an interest in what he wears, I will absolutely encourage him to pick out his own clothes. Also, on the rare occasion that I let my husband pick out their clothes, they usually end up in outfits that are probably crazier than anything the kid might pick out himself…
SC says
DH never dresses our 1.5-yo in something I would choose. Half the time, I let it go. Half the time, I have to point out that the shorts/pants are falling off (I buy one size up at our biannual consignment sale), or the outfit is not weather appropriate (it’s still 90+ degrees here everyday, and they play outside a LOT, especially in after care). It’s not that hard though. Everything toddler can wear to daycare – shorts, t-shirts, socks – is in the top drawer of the dresser. Choose one from each pile, and anything in the drawer is fine.
NewMomAnon says
Yesterday, my daughter wanted to wear pink crocs, Halloween tights, and last year’s sparkly red Christmas dress to school. I drew the line at the Christmas dress (too small, too cold, would limit her ability to run and play on the playground). When she opted for a short-sleeve dress from the Goodwill pile instead, I put a sweater over the top of it all and called it good enough.
Which is to say – I’m with you. And if a 4 year old is bullied, I’m going to question the parenting choices of the bully’s parents, not your choices (and even then, with the understanding that kids are kids). Kids are mean and everyone gets bullied at some point for something. The only way to completely protect a kid from bullying is to hide them away from the world, and that’s not a good solution.
Anonymous says
The only day I cared was picture day and I still feel a little bad about pushing the button down when he preferred a bright orange pirate shirt, lol. I actually love that my 4.5 year old is interested in picking out his clothes and am surprised by the thoughtfulness he demonstrates. Like how did I make this human who now thoughtfully dresses himself and makes choices based on what he’s in the mood to wear?! If you want to push the issue, you could ask him how he decided on the green shorts with the yellow shirt (or whatever!) and talk more about things that match, but sounds like he has an idea in his head of what looks nice! Your friends can mind their own business (one of the best line I learned here is “why do you care?”) and bullying can be addressed as needed with adults/teachers. Good luck!
SC says
When I was in 1st grade, my mom commuted to a city about 3 hours away from home for the week and came back on weekends. The week of picture day, she picked out her favorite dress for me to wear. The morning of picture day, I begged and pleaded to wear my favorite dress, and my dad gave in. It’s still a sore point with my mom, although humorously so, 27 years later.
Jen says
I have a 3 y/o. I usually have a few outfits and let her pick one. Or I choose pants and tell her to pick out a shirt. If what she comes back with doesn’t work, I explain why: “it’s cod out today, we need sleeves. See? Mommy has sleeves. Can you find a shirt with sleeves?” Or “that short doesn’t match. Can you find a link or red or yellow shirt to match the flowers in your skirt?” She’s into matching, otherwise I’d just let her wear whatever.
PinkKeyboard says
Mine is only 1 so she doesn’t pick them out every day, but if we are out at the store and she crows with delight over something (and I am buying her clothes) I will get it. This is how she ended up with neon patterned polyester harem pants from Target. Whatever, she loves them and pets her legs when she wears them. Once she has opinions I hope to do what you do, put all the things she can wear in her dresser and let her pick. They are only little for so long, I always think it’s adorable when I see kids in the funny outfits they picked out, especially if there are added flourishes.
EP-er says
Petting her pants is adorable!
I let them pick out their own clothes. I figure I am curating the things that go into the drawers for the most part, so I approve of whatever is in there. My 4 YO is fiercely independent about dressing and has started with the the “I need privacy! I’m naked!” talk. It is always a surprise what she comes out wearing!
hoola hoopa says
Yeah, wow, I’m raising my eyebrows at the people who made those comments. Your son’s routine is essentially exactly what we do with our kids. Most of the time, the outfits are fine. Sometimes they are a bit crazy, but as long as they aren’t completely impractical for the weather/activity they stand. It’s an easy way to remove something from my list (and one less argument), and I find it delightful to see their personal style and, yes, the crazy outfits.
If you (or anyone here) DO encounter a struggle, I highly recommend having him pick out his outfit for tomorrow during the bedtime routine. We made that change years ago after too many tearful or late mornings, and it’s been a huge win-win for everyone.
We do have a rule that parents always have veto power (we rarely use it), and for certain special events, I get to pick. For those days, I lay that out in advance. It’s reserved mainly for holidays, photo shoots, etc, so literally a handful of days each year.
Anonymous says
I think the only thing you might be missing is that your friends are mean girls.
Also, when I could first dress myself (also about 3/4) my mom controlled matching by giving me a large collection of shirts and several pairs of jeans. I really remember when I got to be four and she replaced all my t-shirts with button ups so I could practice buttons!
Anon in NYC says
Daycare vs. school debate revived. Just wanted to post this here: http://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2016/09/how-daycare-became-school/501671/?utm_source=feed
Anonymous says
Interesting how language is so varied and so much meaning attached. Where I am, you’d get an eyeroll for saying you sent your child to ‘school’ if they weren’t actually starting kindergarten. But ‘daycare’ has become uncommon – it’s all ‘child care’, ‘early childhood educator’, ‘ECE’. Kids usually refer to their caregivers by their first name, or as ‘teacher’.
NewMomAnon says
I saw that article too! For me, daycare has always been “school” because it has fewer syllables. I’m even struggling to keep up with my kiddo’s insistence on saying “preschool” now, because…extra syllable!
SC says
Fascinating. I missed the first debate. We say “school” to our son without thinking about it, I think because (1) fewer syllables, (2) Elmo’s World and Daniel Tiger have “school” episodes, and we adopted the language that was familiar from those episodes, and (3) our daycare is part of the pre-K through 12 school that DH attended, so DH thinks of it as “school.” When talking to other adults, though, I usually say daycare or use the name of either the daycare or the larger school.
AwayEmily says
Maybe an appropriate question for Pumping Tuesday…my daughter turns six months old today, yay! And so I’m going to stop pumping at work (switching her formula instead — she’s had it a couple of times and likes it fine). I’ve been pumping 3x a day. My plan is to cut down to 2x a day for a week, then 1x a day for a week, then stop completely. Does that seem reasonable?
Also, is it really possible to keep feeding her enough in the AM/PM or will I have to supplement then? I’ve always had a good supply; don’t know if that makes a difference. And what about weekends…will it be possible to BF during the day or will my body just be confused?
[PS I posted a few weeks ago about my daughter waking up at 4:22am. Thanks for the advice! We started training her with a light-up alarm clock and she’s now able to either go back to sleep or be quiet until 5:15. Progress!]
PinkKeyboard says
She understands the light up alarm clock? Mine is only 14 months so I was waiting but I definitely think one would be extremely useful as we have a set time she is allowed to get up (but no real way to communicate it to her).
AwayEmily says
I don’t think she understands it on a cognitive level, it’s more of a learned/conditioned response. She gets that when the light goes on, someone comes in (one of us waits outside the door and then goes in right when the light turns on, and we make a big “Good morning!!! YAY!!!” deal out of it). So now she knows (as much as a six-month-old baby can know anything) that light = someone coming to get her, and so there’s not much use in crying before then.
definitely took awhile for her to figure it out, though. We started by setting the light to go on just a few minutes after she woke up, then gradually moved it later and later (~5 minutes at a time).
PinkKeyboard says
Hmmm. I will have to consult with my husband on if he can punctually get in there at the exact right time every day.
Anonymous says
I think everyone is different when it comes to how slowly they need to scale back on pumping/feeding, but I’m guessing your plan will work fine. You might find you can scale back faster.
As to the supply issues, I have breastfed for several months only at night, early morning and occasionally during the day on weekends (I gave up pumping around 9-10 months). It’s amazing how the body continues to adapt to changing needs. I have never once had any engorgement or leaking issues during the week, but I did do some supplementing during the day on the weekends before kiddo switched to whole milk at one year. You can still try to do a little breastfeeding during the day on Sat/Sun, but it may affect your nighttime supply a bit. Given you’ve never had supply issues, I think you will be surprised how easy it may be to keep up your supply at night even though you won’t be pumping/feeding during the day.
I never knew you could do this before I had a kid (kind of naïve of me I guess) — so I thought I could only really keep breastfeeding as long as I kept pumping. So glad to be able to give up the hassle but still get that evening/morning bonding and little bit of extra nutrition for my kiddo. I don’t think I’ll pump as long with the next baby if I have one.
AwayEmily says
Thank you! This is super useful. And I didn’t realize that it was possible even AFTER I had a kid…only in the last month or so, when I was complaining to another mom about pumping during the day and saying “but I guess it’s worth it so I can keep breastfeeding her in the morning and evening” and she was like “ummm…actually you can probably keep doing that even if you stop pumping during the day.” I just didn’t know — breastfeeding seems to be so often talked about as an all or nothing thing.
Anonymous says
I’d recommend keeping pumping once a day if you can for another month or so. It’s harder (but still possible) to maintain on just morning/evening before they are around 9/10 months old.
There’s been a lot of posters asking about how to manage stopping pumping so if you search the old posts there’s lots of good advice on this topic.
GCA says
I wish I had known this earlier, too! Stopped pumping altogether around 13 months (kid hates whole milk so we didn’t push the end of breastmilk bottles for a while…) and have not had supply issues in the AM/PM. In fact, I had to bring my hand pump on a recent work trip after not pumping (but still occasionally bf) for three months. Lo and behold after 14 hours I had a good 10oz and gave up because my hand was tired.
Katala says
Me too, and with my first was still set on pumping and not supplementing till he turned 1. Which was great, and worked with the job I had then. I’m planning to scale back earlier with #2. Probably pump till around 6 months then drop slowly. DH is less on board because I “have magical milk that makes big smart healthy babies” lol. No need to make any decisions now, but I’m just not as dedicated as the first time and ok with that. It will be great to BF morning/night for as long as we want without necessarily worrying about pumping at work. I do have an office that locks (without glass walls) now, so maybe I won’t mind pumping.
anne-on says
Just something to keep in mind with cold/flu season coming up – my infant caught every single pukey stomach bug there was his first winter when he was 8/9 months old, and I had just weaned him. Breastmilk counts as a ‘clear fluid’ and lots of kiddos keep it down much, much easier than formula if they’re sick. I really wished I’d pumped another month or two to have some freezer stash for those miserable pukey days.
Anonymous says
+1
I dreaded the day my stash ran out but pumping 3x a day is a PITA – maybe pump once or twice a day to build a stash?
AwayEmily says
excellent advice — thank you!
GCA says
What do your children call other, non-family adults? And how do you feel about what other children call you?
Background: I am fine regardless of whether other people’s kids call me GCA, Mrs GCA, Mrs (H’s lastname which is not actually my lastname), etc, but grew up in a conservative Asian family and am literally incapable of calling non-family older adults anything other than ‘Ms/ Mr so-and-so’ or ‘uncle/aunt so-and-so’ if they are older. It’s kind of a tic, and it comes out when I am referring to other adults around my son. Daycare teachers are all Ms or Mr; our friends are all Ms/ Mr/ Uncle/ Auntie. I think there’s no right or wrong here, I’m just curious!
Legally Brunette says
All of our friends — aunty and uncle
daycare teachers – Ms. and Mr.
mascot says
Mr. or Ms. Firstname for our friends. Mr. or Ms. Last name for teachers and other “formal” introductions to older adults. We also encourage the use of ma’am and sir, but will settle for yes instead of yeah. We were both raised in the South and live here now and these are pretty standard naming conventions. I had a hard time getting comfortable with using only the first names of my parents friends after I became an adult.
I need a name says
We live in the south but are not originally from here, and I just can’t get used to hearing kids say “ma’am” and “sir.” Where I come from, those words are used exclusively by military personnel and salespeople.
Katala says
+1 and same for “Miss Firstname” which is how our babysitter introduced herself to my son. When I lived here in grad school kids called me “Miss Katala” and it was so weird because I was like 24. But I don’t want kiddo to be perceived as rude so we’re going to try to start using Miss and ma’am and sir.
anne-on says
Mrs./Ms/Mrs. first name for friends, aunt/uncle first name for blood relations, and Mr./Ms/Mrs. last name for school.
Not super common for us in New England, but I am not comfortable with having my kiddo address adults by their first name, and it is the way he addresses teachers at school now anyway.
Anonymous says
– first name for caregivers before kindergarten (even though we/she refer to them as her preschool/daycare teacher when discussing her day)
– aunt/uncle for my BFF who has a daughter same age as my kid (basically they’re raised like first cousins)
– aunt/uncle for my sister/BIL
– first name for our other friends (though I was raised to say Mr./Mrs. for parents friends and still use it, that’s really uncommon here now)
– I was raised with Grandpa LastName and DH was raised with Grandpa FirstName – hasn’t been an issue because all 4 grandparents picked different names for themselves.
GCA says
I am also constitutionally incapable of using my parents’ friends’ first names. Or, more to the point, my in-laws’ friends’ first names.
FWIW we are in New England, and I agree that most of respect is how you treat said adults vs just what you call them, but my upbringing has convinced some primordial part of my brain otherwise.
I need a name says
We are in the south, where it’s generally Miss/Mr. Firstname. I have also been known to answer to “Miss Kidsname’s Mom” when necessary. I only hear “Ms.” at work and “Mrs.” from school personnel.
first name is fine w me says
I’m 100% fine with kids calling me by my first name and unless an adult says otherwise, I introduce my kids to adults by their first name. I don’t think it’s disrespectful because I think respect comes from how they treat said adults. I know a lot of people who make their kids call me Ms. first name, and that’s fine but a little eye rolley to me, personally. But I’m pretty liberal on those kinds of things and my friend group is casual. We do call their teachers Ms./Mr. but I think my line is drawn between friends and people in positions of employment. That’s just my 2 cents!
Spirograph says
School/daycare does Ms/Mr Firstname, and I introduce new adults to my kids like that for neighbors and people I’m friendly with, or Mr./Mrs. Last name any time it’s a less familiar relationship and especially if the person is significantly older than I am. A couple of my husband’s good friends are just Firstname because DH doesn’t have manners (I jest! But I grew up calling all adults Mr./Mrs. Lastname so it feels very wrong to me). I think it’s regional and generational, though. I grew up somewhere much more traditional and conservative, but first names seem the norm where I live now. I imagine that when my kids are in elementary school and actually know their friends’ last names, Mr./Mrs. Lastname will stick better.
SC says
We haven’t had to deal with this much yet, since 1.5-yo isn’t talking. For our close friends who are involved in Kiddo’s life, we say “Uncle/Aunt.” Other friends will probably be introduced by first name–I may be constitutionally incapable of calling my friends “Mr.” and “Mrs.” For neighbors and the various cousins and pseudo-cousins we have, probably Mr. or Ms. Firstname, unless I’m told otherwise or know someone is very formal.
hoola hoopa says
Adults, except for teachers and aunt/uncles, are all first name only. Teachers are called by whatever the kids call them at school. Aunts/uncles are Title First Name.
That’s standard where we live, what I grew up with, and it really never occurred to me to do anything else. I assume that’s true for my husband too; we’ve never even discussed it.
There’s one friend that’s called “Aunt”… but that’s an anomaly. I’m not even entire sure why, but it just organically became that way.
EB0220 says
Well, this is fascinating. Almost everyone is Ms./Mr. Firstname to us. Except for people at Taekwondo who are Ms./Mr. Lastname. Aunts and Uncles are Aunt/Uncle. Husband I both have parents from the midwest but grew up in the south, and still live in the south.