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This kind of leather crib shoe can be great if you have a kiddo in daycare or somewhere else where you don’t want them to wear shoes all the time but don’t want them to be shoeless either, particularly if they’re just learning to walk. While I wouldn’t put my kid on a city street with these on, they protect your little one’s feet and they’re easy to get on. They also stay on better than typical shoes, especially when kids are in the kicking stage, and they’re kind of like fancy slippers but for everyday wear. These are usually around $20, and Amazon has them in a zillion colors and sizes, including these Friends shoes that have a cute picture that’s split between the shoes. Robeez Friends Wrap-Around Crib Shoe
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Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
CHJ says
My son’s daycare required shoes, even for infants. It might be a code/licensing issue? In any event, all the babies/little toddlers wore these shoes and they were great. Super soft, easy to put on, and they wear like little moccasins. Highly recommend if you need baby shoes for daycare.
Em says
We are about to move to a daycare that requires dedicated “inside” and “outside” shoes, so this is great timing. We have plenty of pairs of outside shoes, but I am going to order a pair of these for my son’s inside shoes.
NewMomAnon says
Kiddo’s old daycare required that we keep shoes in her cubby “in case of emergencies” starting from the time she could crawl. I don’t know whether they were expecting kiddo to suddenly stand up and flee from impending doom in the safety of her crib shoes, or…..?
Anonanonanon says
LOL I’m loving the mental image of telling 7 month olds “hurry kids! put your shoes on and run out! there’s a fire!”
Anonymous says
LOVED Robeez for crawling and starting walking. Kiddo wore the Steve Crib Shoe for so long. I pulled them out the other day while cleaning/organizing and got all sentimental. DH didn’t even want to throw them out.
AwayEmily says
That’s the same kind ours wore! The gray version. SO cute…tiny sneakers!!! <3
H says
These are cute, but I think I got some soft soled shoes from old navy and gap that were a little bit cheaper.
FTMinFL says
Just for fun on this Friday, if you could do (or did) anything in your office to make it more comfortable through the third trimester, what would it be?
I actually brought in a fan, but I’m now fantasizing about building an igloo and installing a donut dispenser…
Anonanonanon says
Slightly off-topic: I’m in first trimester and I’m dreaming about having a cot or air mattress for a lunchtime nap!!! I even thought about smuggling in a pillow…
Anonymous says
The fatigue is real. I never had a good spot in the office (boo open offices) or even outside where I could catch a few winks. Sometimes I would sit in the shade outside and just close my eyes for 10 mind
Anonanonanon says
one of those air mattresses that turns the seats of your car into a bed is sounding appealing
Em says
I brought a very thick yoga mat to work and regularly use it to take naps in my office.
Anonanonanon says
Geniuuuuus (until someone is like “hey let’s do yoga together! what kind of yoga do you do? and I’m like “…mumblemumble”)
NewMomAnon says
Just say “prenatal yoga.” That usually meant 20 minutes of “yoga” and 20 minutes of savasana for me.
Anonanonanon says
It’s been a while since I was last pregnant, but my 3rd trimester rec would probably be a no pants policy… haha!
Walnut says
This is why my maternity wardrobe is 100% skirts and dresses.
Anon says
I love pants because then I don’t have to shave my legs (by feel at this stage of pregnancy rather than sight). Between the insane pregnancy hair growth and the chafing with skirts and dresses, I usually wear dresses 2x a week, pants 2x a week, jeans on Fridays and then on weekends usually shorts, jeans or maxi skirts. Super pasty with dark colored hair, so for me to be comfortable showing my legs I need to have shaved that morning.
Anonymous says
I should’ve brought in a fan! A stool to prop your feet up under your desk. Get one of the $20 nursing stools and then you can use it at home after the baby is born. My feet didn’t start swelling until 37 weeks, but they were really sore for those 3 weeks! Also, and it kind of counteracts the fan, but a heating pad for your back. Again, my back wasn’t super sore until 36-37 weeks but then it was constantly tight.
FTMinFL says
Oh, the stool is such a no-brainer idea! I’ve been turning my trash can upside down, but a stool would be so much more comfortable.
H says
I used a upside down trashcan as well. I’m so jealous that you didn’t swell until 37 weeks. I think I started around 20 weeks (during the summer in the south, that’s my excuse).
Mrs. Jones says
I had to take frequent walks around the office to keep my ankles from swelling beyond all recognition.
Walnut says
I’d love to add a Wendy’s frosty machine and someone to give me chair massages every couple hours.
GCA says
I was just thinking about soft serve and a massage – and I’m not even pregnant (just on day 5 /8 of solo parenting stint and completely exhausted)!
Anon says
32 weeks now – fan. And I bring in an arsenal of beverages with me in the morning because I am just so thirsty all the time (but so bored of water and banned from anything with caffeine including chocolate, which is why I have a starburst stash now). I don’t even bother with the stool and just prop my feet up on my desk in the afternoons. Thank you frosted glass office! And a shorter walk to the bathroom.
Cb says
35 weeks – I’ve been sitting on the floor with my laptop.
Anonymous says
If there’s the ability to park closer (in a designated spot or part of the lot), that’s really helpful.
lsw says
Something to prop my feet up on!! We had a stepstool I took for this purpose. My feet were so, so swollen.
CHJ says
Any recommendations for (1) bug spray and (2) bug bite relief for toddlers? My son is spending tons of time outside at preschool now that it’s summer, and he is completely torn up with bug bites. The school puts an organic lemongrass/citronella spray on the kids, but he’s still getting bitten. I put Deep Woods OFF on him this morning, but I’m not sure I want to cover him in DEET every day. Any ideas?
And same for bug bite relief – I have been using a Benadryl lotion, but it doesn’t seem to be providing that much relief.
Anonanonanon says
I’m in Public Health and my first job was in the area of preventing mosquito and tick-borne illnesses, to give you some background on where this is coming from.
The lemon eucalyptus spray (should be lemon eucalyptus, not lemon citronella) is actually NOT recommended for small children. There are no studies to determine if it’s safe for children under 3. Yes, it’s natural, but that doesn’t automatically mean healthier. arsenic is natural too.
DEET has been around for ages, and honestly if it was going to do something horrible we would know about it by now. I’m more of a fan of picaridin, tough. I have asthma and DEET (especially off deep woods) has a scent I can’t stand and causes a bit of an asthma flare for me just from the strong scent. I highly recommend a picaridin repellent , which is same for 2 months and older. It’s oder-free and not as sticky. A lot of the ones with picaridin are labeled “Family” on the bottle for marketing.
Anonanonanon says
the arsenic comment comes off harsher than I intended. I’m certainly not comparing putting lemon eucalyptus on your child to giving them arsenic! However, a lot of people assume because it’s natural it’s safer for small children, but it hasn’t been proven to be safe under 3 unlike DEET and picaridin.
Anonymous says
Have you tried Off for hunters? It’s supposed to have no scent so as not to bother animals. I’d imagine it might be better for your asthma.
anon says
I think Consumer Reports found that Picardin is as effective as DEET, but only if in higher concentrations than in many brands. I believe they recommended Naturapel, which has 20% Picardin. We’ve used it occasionally since my son was young. This is all based on foggy memories so check my research.
Anonymous says
I’m an epidemiologist who formerly worked with vector-borne diseases, and I 100% agree with Anonanonanon. DEET or Picardin. I have zero qualms putting it on my littles.
H13 says
You can use permethrin on clothing. I think there is even a way to treat clothing with it for a more lasting effect. I am living in fear of ticks this year.
Anonanonanon says
permethrin is great for avoiding tick bites. I have a designated pair of shoes, socks, and jeans for my son that are treated. Definitely always follow the instructions
AwayEmily says
It may be a placebo effect, but we use AfterBite (it comes in a stick that you dab onto bug bites) and I swear it makes a huge difference. Maybe because it feels cool/relieving in a way Benadryl doesn’t?
Pigpen's Mama says
+1
I was going to recommend this — it’s the best for mosquito bites!
Wehaf says
AfterBite is basically just diluted ammonia. You can make your own for way cheaper by mixing 20 to 30 parts water to 1 part ammonia.
mascot says
We’ve had better luck with the Off FamilyCare Smooth and Dry Spray and it lasts for 6 hrs maybe. EcoSmart works ok too.
Anonymous says
We use the Off Family version as well. Only one application a day for kids under 2 but up to three a day is okay for kids over 2. It’s 7% deet vs the deep woods version which has a much higher amount of deet.
Other tricks – light colored clothing – many flies are attracted to darker colors. Long sleeves or long pants whenever possible – tuck pants into socks as well.
Spirograph says
We use Avon Bug Guard, which is picardin. IT comes in spray, lotion and wipes (my favorite for small children), I believe. And doesn’t smell terrible.
Sabba says
+1. Love the Avon picardin bug stuff, even though I don’t much care for their other products.
H says
We use Babyganics bug spray. It’s deet free and doesn’t have any of those controversial essential oils. I’m actually surprised no one here mentioned it; I’m pretty sure every family at my LO’s daycare uses it.
MSJ says
Lucie’s List just had a great recap. https://www.lucieslist.com/lucies-list-blog/2014/06/24/best-insect-repellents-for-kids-2014/
After reading it, I got the Avon Towelettes w/ picardin.
My son is extremely allergic to bug bites so we try really hard to avoid mosquitoes – but he’s still gotten three bites this season (at times when we didn’t use this repellent).
Katala says
Diluted tea tree oil (a couple drops in some coconut/olive oil) works well for bites. I bought the honest co. bug spray but haven’t really tested it out.
Marilla says
These shoes are great but definitely not $20 in Canada! Perfect for the months between starting daycare and actually walking.
mascot says
Robeez cut into my kids heels too much. The Ministars knockoff from Target fit him better and were a bit cheaper.
Em says
As a follow up on the bug spray question, is it necessary to put it on my 15 month old every day? It hadn’t crossed my mind until the daycare we were switching to sent home a permission form for it. Then I noticed a bottle of bug spray in the cubby of another kid at his current daycare. Both his current daycare and the new daycare have outdoor time every day. I haven’t noticed more than a couple bug bites on him in the last 3 months, despite being outside multiple times a day, and we have never found a tick on him. I think this may be a “if it’s not broke, don’t fix it” situation.
CHJ says
I wouldn’t bother unless you start seeing bites on him. We live in a very woodsy area so the mosquitoes are fierce. It was never a problem when he was a baby and went to a daycare in the city.
Anon in NYC says
Yeah. We provide it to our preschool because they asked us to supply it… but I don’t think they’ve used it. We certainly don’t put it on her at home. I don’t think she’s getting serious bug bites at the playground.
If they were going to take her to a nearby park (where ticks have been found), I’d hope they put it on her.
Anonanonanon says
I’d take a look at whether west nile etc. are endemic in your area. Honestly though, if he’s not coming home witha bunch of bites, and they don’t swell and make him miserable or anything, I probably wouldn’t every day.
Baby Shoes says
What are your favorite shoes for a baby who will start walking soon? I assume I need to look for shoes that offer lots of support. Thanks!
AEK says
My son’s first couple pairs were Pedi Peds. Great support and cute colors. He’s 2.5 now and I can’t bring myself to get rid of them. I know lots of people also like See Kai Run or Stride Rite (though they have some that are not as supportive, so you have to pay attention).
GCA says
If said baby is just in the house, let them walk around barefoot to feel the floor better. Outside, consider Skidders or similar (socks with fairly tough rubber soles). I initially got Pedipeds when my son was about 11 months and starting to walk, and the soles were so stiff that they kept tripping him up. So, initially at least, the more flexible the better.
Anonanonanon says
This seems like one of those things the recommendations keep changing on. When my son was a baby, all the advice I got was the more support the better. I took him to stride rite for early walker shoes and that was that. Now the recs seem to be as close to barefoot as possible. May be a question for the pediatrician?
NewMomAnon says
This may have changed, but the recommendation when my kiddo was just walking was as close to bare feet as possible. So bare feet at home, socks with grippers or crib shoes at daycare, and “hard sole” shoes only if she was going to walk outside. The hard sole shoes we got for kiddo at that time were “early walkers” so still pretty flexible.
When I was a kid, the minute a baby started walking they got high-top, hard sole sneakers. The general consensus now is that feet and legs don’t develop properly in those, and that kids need to develop the muscles to walk properly.
Mrs. Jones says
Bare feet as much as possible. Sneakers when outside.
CPA Lady says
There were some robeez with a bit more of a sole than just the plain leather but are still as flexible. I got those when she had just started walking. But we weren’t going out hiking or anything. This was for toddling around at daycare and on their playground, which has “grass” (astroturf?).
Then once she actually started walking, I got her stride rites. That lasted til she was about 2. Then I branched out to pedipeds and see kai run. My kid has tall, fat, wide feet and cannot wear sneakers because her arch is too high.
CPA Lady says
We had her feet measured at the stride rite store but then waited for a sale online.
PregLawyer says
Does anyone have advice about parenting books for 2 year olds+? We’re officially past the baby and early toddler years, and now have a precocious, willful, hilarious, KID on our hands. I don’t really know what to do. Especially when we get into these battles when we get home at the end of the day and he follows me around crying and yelling at me “Bye BYE mama! Bye bye!” And then freaks out when I actually have to go out of the room for something. There’s so much going on in his big/little brain and I need some guidance.
Anonymous says
No advice on the books but from 2-2.5, kid was super clingy after daycare. I changed into comfy clothes and put him on my back in the ergo with a straw cup and he was happy to hang out there for a half hour or so while I got dinner started and set the table. Sometimes 15 minutes of being up was all he needed and other days, it was enough to see me wearing the ergo (I guess he wanted to know it was an option if he needed it).
Tired Mommy says
How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen, and Listen so Little Kids will Talk – by Faber & King. I’m about to re-read after I read it at the beginning of the year to refresh myself because there are so many helpful tools!
OCAssociate says
+1
Also Happiest Toddler on the block and the “Your [2] year old” series by Louise Bates Ames.
SC says
+1. This book changed our lives.
PregLawyer says
Thanks all!
AwayEmily says
Following…I can definitely commiserate: the post-daycare crazies are no joke. My toddler is pretty even-keeled in the mornings and on weekends, but the two hours between daycare and bed are definitely the toughest part of our day. Now that it’s summer, we often come home, eat a quick/early dinner, and then head immediately back outside. Sometimes we just pack a picnic and go straight to the park from daycare. Being outdoors seems to help for some reason.
AwayEmily says
oops, that was meant in response to PregLawyer.
lsw says
I’ve appreciated the feedback from other stepparents on here, and I was hoping folks would weigh in again. We are lucky to have a good relationship with my pre-teen SD’s mom. We split 50/50 custody.
I’m not sure how to navigate certain questions SD has in a helpful way. For example, she asked if her mom was coming to our wedding. We explained that might feel a little strange for her mom, so she wasn’t coming. SD is obsessed with our son’s hair and asks a lot of questions likewhen he is going to get his first haircut, how I want to style his hair when he’s older, etc. She asked if her mom will cut his hair, because her mom cuts hair on the side. I said probably not, and when she asked why, I said it can be nerverwracking to cut a baby’s hair, so I would want to take him to someone who is used to cutting babies’ hair. Recently, she asked if her mom was coming to Baby’s first birthday party, and again I said probably not.
I don’t want to answer, “No, because that would be weird” which is kind of the real answer to all these questions. I’m glad she doesn’t see a contentious relationship there. But I also feel odd about making up all these complicated answers. When she was younger, I fielded those questions, but now that she is older I’m not sure if I should just explain that it’s weird. I don’t want her to suddenly see my and my husband’s relationship with her mom in a negative light. Any suggestions on how to handle?
Anonymous says
I have a 6yo step son. We are very clear that Step Son’s family includes Daddy, me, Mommy, and step-dad, and all our parents, cousins, etc. But we are also clear that my daughter’s family does NOT include those people who are near and dear to him (specifically, his mommy) because of a grown up decision between Mommy and Daddy to get divorced. We approach it in a factual way — everybody has different family. Don’t worry about “oh it’s weird if she gets involved” — focus on WHY it’s weird, in a factual way. For the cutting hair thing, you could say, “our relationship with your mom is special and we don’t feel comfortable asking her to perform a service [hair-cutting] for [baby].”
FWIW, I think your step-daughter is pushing back because it’s not right for you to surmise how her mother might feel about something. You don’t get to make that decision. You get to choose who you invite to events, who you engage for services, etc., and you choose NOT to invite your step-daughter’s mom because 1- she is not YOUR family even though she is step-daughter’s family, and 2- YOU are not comfortable adding that interaction in your relationship. A divorce has lots of consequences, and one of those consequences is that you don’t include each other in certain events anymore.
I think this may have come across harsher than I intended, but I hope it helps. It is HARD being a step-parent, and I can’t imagine being a step-parent with 50/50 custody.
lsw says
Thank you for this. It is really hard to be a step-parent! I really appreciate hearing how others have handled similar situations. SD is very much in the “why, why, why” stage too, so partly this has been my hesitation to fall down a rabbit hole. My husband and I should talk more in depth about this too, I think she asks me these questions more than him for whatever reason.
Anonymous says
I tend to answer the first (and sometimes second) “why” and then say, “why do you think?” — sometimes the kids need a little push to re-engage their brain.
Anonymous says
It’s a really good sign that she talks to you about this kind of stuff.
AEK says
Jut wanted to +1 to step-parenting being hard. Establishing parental closeness while maintaining comfortable boundaries (e.g. with bio-parents) is a real high-wire act. Blessing of a lifetime for me, but also very hard (50-50 too). Good for you for trying to find answers that make sense to her. With time she’ll probably understand the “weird” part without ever being told.
NewMomAnon says
I think every divorce relationship is different, and I think it’s natural for kids to look for “rules” about how their family situation operates. It’s possible that your SD sees the surface-level harmonious relationship between her mom and you + dad, and is trying to figure out how far that goes. It’s also possible (depending on how close she is to teen angst) that she’s trying to figure out where your trigger points are with regard to her mom so she can push those buttons and see if you stick with her through your pain.
Before you talk with your SD, I would talk with her dad honestly and maybe even see a couples counselor with him about that relationship. Your SD will notice disconnects between your words and behaviors and test you. It’s going to be easier for you to deal with that if you’ve got a good grip on your feelings toward her mom.
Another Anon Stepmom says
I have 2 slightly older stepsons (we split 50-50 custody, too) and we went through the same thing with each of them. It was awkward until my husband sat them down and explained that while their mom is absolutely part of our family it may make her uncomfortable to be at a birthday party that her ex-in laws are at, etc…. because the their mom and dad are no longer married. He also let them know that it may also make me uncomfortable for a lot of the same reasons, etc… He was very honest and very straightforward about explaining it to them and it was like a light bulb went off over their head. We have a very good relationship with their mom and love that they think of us as one big family, but it never even occurred to them that some aspects of the blended family will always be a little bit awkward.
Anonymous says
I get that it’s weird for you but for her it’s not. It’s her little brother’s birthday party so in her mind, it’s normal that the important people to her (her mom) would attend. No real advice on how to talk to her about it but try to approach it by thinking about how she views the relationships Being a step-parent is hard, but it’s also hard being a stepkid and figuring out how all the pieces fit together when you don’t really know what to expect and didn’t ask for your life to look like this.
Lurker says
Would you be open to doing more things as a family with bio mom? Maybe your SD wants to see you all more integrated. It works for some families and not for others. In mine, exes are invited to some family functions like Thanksgiving because the kids want both parents there. But stepmom and stepdad get invited too. So kid has four parents at the event. A half-sibling’s birthday is different.
Anon says
How often do you clean your home? BabyD is crawling and I always freak out that our place is not clean enough. I do a general cleaning once a week but that kind of takes away the weekend fun because I have this chore list hanging over my head. Am I a bad mom if I clean every week and a half? One thing is for sure: If you are type A like me it is hard to give up your Marta Stewart standards..Here comes the weekend!
Anonymous says
Do you have pets?
Anon says
No pets..
Blueberry says
Our home gets cleaned every week, but only because we finally hired cleaners that do it! It was less frequent before that…
Anon says
We clean once a month with just the two of us – monthly housekeeper. Obviously if it gets super gross in the mean time I will do it but I have gotten much better about just letting things go. Once the baby comes in August and my husband is home full time with her (vs. now where we’re really only home on weekends because we’re at work all week), we are going to “upgrade” to 2x a month and see how that goes. Once she starts crawling, maybe weekly, but I feel like 2x a month plus an interim vacuum run should be enough….
Em says
We have two large, hairy shed monsters (dogs). We have a cleaning service that does a deep clean every two weeks and I vacuum once in the off-week, unless we are having people over, in which case there may be an extra mop/vacuum. My son does this super fun thing where he excitedly brings me clumps of dogs hair he found on the floor. Children with pets have good immune systems and I would hate to detract from that by cleaning my floors too often….or at least that is what I tell myself.
rakma says
No, you are not a bad Mom if you don’t clean every week.
When we have movers, we have baby-safe rooms/zones. Kids rooms are fully baby proof, and the carpet gets vacuumed a bunch now that we have a floor-playing baby, and we’ll keep that up until she’s over that ‘puts every little thing in her mouth’ stage. The dining room, on the other hand, not baby-proof at all, but we have a pack and play set up in there to stash the baby if need be. I do not clean that floor often, as it’s not a room we use much.
Limiting what needs to be cleaned regularly for baby-safety reasons means I can get it all done in an hour or so, which means I don’t kill a whole weekend cleaning.
Anonymous says
bi weekly cleaners but vaccum kitchen/main room/playroom area nightly because we have an older house and don’t want to restart a mouse problem that we just got rid of
Redux says
My 3 yo daughter is a scab-picker. I know the type; I used to be one. She has one she’s been bothering for a while now that just wont heal and my husband asked our daycare provider today if she has any recommendations to keep her from picking her scabs. Daycare provider pulled him aside and said in a hushed tone, “You just need to spend more one-on-one time with her.”
I am VERY ANNOYED by this response. I get that scab-picking is a psychological thing but to insinuate that it’s on us because we’re not spending enough time with her? Ouch. Hello, working mom guilt.
Anonymous says
Wait, what? I am a scab picker (even still to some extent… I know, I know) and my daughter is too. I also pick at acne, peeling skin from sunburn, and my cuticles. I don’t think this is a psychological thing at all (though I think certain types of picking can rise to that level). At 3, it’s usually just being curious. Maybe boredom. Mostly trying to remove the odd texture, in my experience though. While it can slow healing a bit, we’ve had luck with putting bandaids on our LO’s cuts for longer than normal during the day. Open to the air with Neosporin (which softens the scab so you can’t pick) at night after bath.
Spirograph says
Yup. Raise your hand if, in elementary school, you smeared glue on your hands just for the joy of peeling it off. Scab-picking has way more in common with that than it does with truly self-destructive behavior like, say, cutting. Or even the tamer thing where you pull out your hair/eyebrows/eyelashes.
Em says
This response is insane and you absolutely should be annoyed. If it helps, one of my son’s daycare providers constantly comments about how the teachers never see me/haven’t seen me in months/I don’t know basic things about by child (because we forgot something at home one time) because my husband does most of the drop offs and pick ups.
Blueberry says
WTF daycare teachers? Don’t they know they’d be out of a job if we all stopped going to work in order to spend more time with our kids?? Wow, I would be very annoyed too. (It does make me a little sad that all my younger son’s little reports mention all the stories he tells about daddy or his grandma, without a lot of mentions of mommy, but that is another story…)
lsw says
WTF. I was raised by a SAHM and I was a scab picker forever. I still put bandaids on stuff so I leave it alone. That person is crazy.
Lurker says
I read it as one-one time to observe when she is picking and redirect the behavior. Not that you don’t spend enough time with her. Just that you have to watch her like a hawk for a few days to break the habit. I can see how it can be interpreted the rude way too.
Redux says
Ohhhhhh. This makes sense too. Thanks for the reframe.
CPA Lady says
Is there anything I can do to make my child less of a crabby psycho? My husband has been gone all but 2 weeks (home on the weekend) since the beginning of April. His travel schedule is unlikely to change in the foreseeable future. Kid is a clingy, whiny, resistant wreck. Everything is a battle. I don’t know if it’s been because DH has been gone so much or its just some kind of delightful “I”m about to be 3! Hear me roar!” phase that will end in approximately 1-2 years. Almost all the time we’re in the car she’s screaming and crying like a maniac and I’m kind of at my wit’s end.
I’ve tried being as nice as possible, trying to distract her, trying to validate her feelings, try to hold her, begging, pleading, crying along with her, and in my worst moments, yelling at her to please stop {BLEEEEP} whining. Yesterday she had a screaming tantrum the entire way to daycare because she didn’t want to listen to the radio– BUT THE RADIO WAS OFF. I pointed that out to her and it sent her into another spiral or rage and sorrow.
What the heck do I do? Other than hide under my bed crying? Because I’m kind of at that point.
Rainbow Hair says
(1) I think that sometimes just white knuckling through this is the only way, especially with one parent away. Sending you strength.
(2) I know I’m a broken record but “1 2 3 Magic” made a HUGE difference for us in getting the tantrums under control.
(3) Can she sleep more? My kid is impossible when she doesn’t get enough sleep. We put her to bed 1/2 an hour early (with a lot of talk about resting her body so when she wakes up she can be a morning person) last night and she was so much better this morning.
(4) I made my kid a Feelings Barometer where she can spin an arrow to the feeling (written and illustrated with cartoon cat faces) she’s feeling. Then she can pick a “calm down” choice from the list (get a hug, take a deep breath, talk about your feelings, draw a picture). Verbalizing the feelings helps, but also I think it’s just a distraction to ask her “do you want to go to the feelings center?”
Spirograph says
hide under your bed crying! How does she act when your husband’s home? Same way? Definitely he should get some special one on one time with her when he is home — mostly so you get a break!
Honestly, I think it’s a phase and you kind of have to wait it out. When my kids are super whiny, they get yogurt or cheese and a handfull of berries or vegetables for dinner, and they go straight to bed. They don’t have to go to sleep, but they have to stay in their room and leave me alone. If they want to be quiet and pleasant, they’re welcome to come back out and spend time with me, but they’re not allowed to whine and scream and generally drive me crazy. I usually say that I’ll come up and give them a hug and a kiss goodnight after they’ve been quiet for 10 minutes. Sometimes it takes a half hour+ for them to calm down before the 10 minutes starts, but with the door closed it’s tolerable. This doesn’t solve the terrible car ride problem, but it makes your house a little better.
Hugs and empathy from me.
Anonymous says
For being in the car — Probably not A+ parenting but… we pretty much always feed our kids a snack, in the car to daycare (usually cereal, but gummy bunnies if necessary) and on the way home (goldfish).
rakma says
Is it the car in particular, or the transition from home to daycare and back? DD has a special car stuffed animal, and that seemed to make car rides better. We didn’t do this on purpose, the toy just never made it in the house, and now he lives in the car.
Right around DD turning 3, she needed to talk through everything before doing it. Routines that had been the same for months had to be reviewed, sometimes negotiated, and repeated before they could begin. (we take a bath, we put on PJs, we turn on nightlights…”I turn on nightlights” yes, you turn on nightlights “but I turn on nightlights” yes, you turn on nightlights, etc) Yes, we had been doing the same bedtime routine for ever, but she needed the reassurance that it was the same? I didn’t always have all the patience for this, but going through the spiel was faster than calming her down from the tantrum.
Logic and reality weren’t always useful in these cases. The radio thing would have driven my husband crazy (but it’s not on! how can you be upset about it when it’s what you want!) Sometimes I found being overly silly sort of reset the mood (Of course no radio! Mommy sings the whole way! Overdramatic rendition of ‘Amore’!)
Jen says
I know I’m late but just catching up. I’d recommend way more sleep. My kid went through a growth spurt at that age where she needed more food and more sleep than usual, or she was just a giant mess. She didn’t nap anymore so for a while she was eating 2 breakfasts, 2 dinners, and sleeping 6:45-7:30am.
Diana says
I am strictly against putting my child to daycare, I just cannot rely on someone else to teach my kid something, Especially when He is in his early years.