Week in the Life of a Working Mom: Lawyer at a Mid-Size Firm
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For this installment of our Week in the Life of a Working Mom series, we’re happy to introduce CorporetteMoms reader ZJ, a lawyer at a mid-size firm who lives in Los Angeles with her husband and two daughters.
Our usual caveat applies: Please remember that this is is a real person who has feelings and isn’t gaining anything from this, unlike your usual friendly (soul-deadened, thick-skinned, cold-hearted, money-grubbing) blogger — so please be kind with any comments. Thank you! — Kat
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First, Some Basics About This Working Mom…
Name: ZJ
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Job: Lawyer at a mid-sized firm — I run a few major campaigns for the firm. (Think lots of cases against nationally recognized companies.)
Age: 35
Home Situation: Both DH and I have flexible work schedules; shared finances; live in a single-family, 3-bedroom, 2-bath home. We have two girls: one in elementary school, one in daycare full time.
Childcare Situation: Full-time daycare (1 y.o.); public school + YMCA after-school program (4 y.o.)
How is the work-life balance in your industry in general? What are common ways of juggling responsibilities that you see your colleagues and coworkers doing?
Not much WL balance in general … lots at my firm. Time shifting. I also have a team of support staff in various time zones so someone is always working on tasks.
How do you handle household chores, such as laundry, grocery shopping, housecleaning, etc.? Who does what, and when — and how often?
Divided between me and spouse, often switching things like dinner based on who has time and energy. Some tasks are set, e.g., DH does the laundry while I put it away. I do most of the hand-washing while he loads the dishwasher, etc.
A Week in My Life
Sunday
7:30 a.m. Everyone slept in, we drive to get bagels. We eat in the car so the girls can play and move around while still being contained.
Afterwards, we stop at a cafe to grab coffee and cookies for a picnic with our friends.
10:30 a.m. Picnic time. The kids eat snacks and run around while the parents get some social time.
1:30 p.m. Transfer 1 y.o. from car to crib successfully. 4 y.o. watches TV while I read a spicy book and DH does some laundry.
2:30 p.m. 4 y.o. and I color together.
4:15 p.m. 1 y.o. wakes up and DH starts cooking dinner. 4 y.o. and I make a quick grocery run for missing ingredients.
5:30 p.m. We eat together as a family and then play with the girls.
7:00 p.m. DH takes the girls to the bath while I clean up. I usually retrieve the 1 y.o. and DH takes the 4 y.o. to get them into PJs. I finish the bedtime routine. I am getting into the habit of folding laundry while the girls are falling asleep so I put away their clothes and fold ours into the hamper.
8:00 p.m. DH and I clean up. Usually, he loads the dishwasher while I wipe counters and take care of all the hand-washing dishes. We chat for a bit, he starts getting ready for bed while I watch Netflix on my phone and finish dishes.
10:00 a.m. I shower and get in bed. DH sleeps in the girls’ room so I can get some good sleep.
Monday
5:45 a.m. Wake up. I decided I wanted to get back to working out early in the morning so I signed up for a hot yoga class in the morning. On the way to class, I record a video update for my girlfriends overseas.
6:30-7:30 a.m. Hot yoga class
7:45 a.m. DH and girls are eating breakfast. I take a quick shower and then get them dressed and packed for the day.
8:45 a.m. I leave to drop off the girls.
9:15 a.m. I finally sit down to eat breakfast. DH and I chat for a bit while I eat and he finishes getting ready for the day.
9:30 a.m. I get on a work call and DH leaves for work. After the call, I update my planner for the week. I spend the next hour doing different work tasks and finally realize I haven’t gotten to my big drafting task for the day. I grab a chocolate, set a 20-minute timer, [start] my coding music playlist, and get into it. I use the Pomodoro method to move past the distractions.
Noon I make a wrap with leftovers. While waiting for my food to heat up, I clean up from breakfast. I eat at my desk and listen to a TED Talk on leadership. I buy a few leadership-based books I’ve had my eye on.
1:30 p.m. Back to work.
2:45 p.m. I walk to pick up 4 y.o. At the beginning of the year, I accidentally signed her up for the afterschool care program that ends at 3:00 instead of the one that goes till 6:00. I try to get my work day done by 3:00 on most days so I can spend time with her and cook dinner. I listen to my friend’s voice note and respond on my walk over and call my mom.
3:20 p.m. Get home, deal with an epic meltdown, prep dinner, and help 4 y.o. make pasta
4:40 p.m. Leave to pickup 1 y.o. with 4 y.o. in tow. DH returns home and takes over dinner. The girls and I stop at the grocery store to get some missing ingredients for dinner. Deal with two meltdowns on the way home.
5:30 p.m. Dinner followed by playtime. I clean up a little.
6:15 p.m. Short family walk around the neighborhood.
6:45 p.m. I do bath time while DH cleans and does laundry. DH reads to the girls while I look for a beloved stuffy.
7:15 p.m. Put away two loads of laundry during bedtime.
8:30 p.m. DH asks about the calendar invite I sent him while reading my spicy book yesterday. I hop in the shower to prepare for our meeting. I ignore the post-dinner chores and cleanup.
10:00 p.m. Bedtime
Tuesday
6:15 a.m. Wake up with 1 y.o.; DH has already left for a breakfast meeting.
6:00-8:15 a.m. Breakfast with the girls, cleaning up and getting ready for the day,
8:15 a.m. DH returns and I go through the garage to find the Ramadan advent calendar. I stuff it with chocolates for the girls. We aren’t religious but I want them to have the cultural memories of our holidays.
8:40 a.m. We get ready to walk 4 y.o. to school as a family. Realize we are too late and hop in the car. Afterwards, we stop at home to pick up 1 y.o.’s stuff and drop her off.
9:00 a.m. Work meeting while I clean up my desk. DH leaves for work.
11:00 a.m. I take a break to make a latte
1:30 p.m. I make a sad lunch from leftovers while replying to work messages and cleaning the kitchen. I listen to a TED Talk while I eat.
3:15 p.m. DH returns with 4 y.o. I help her put away her stuff, look through her schoolwork, and finish HW. I set her up with a craft.
3:40 p.m. Back to work.
4:40 p.m. I leave to get 1yo. 4 y.o. tags along. DH preps dinner.
5:00-5:30 p.m. I clean up/help with dinner.
5:30-7:00 p.m. Dinner and playtime. I tidy up a bit.
7:00-7:40 p.m. I do bath time while DH cleans up, then DH reads while I clean up. I put the girls to bed. No laundry tonight.
7:40-10:00 p.m. DH and I clean up and catch up. I prep coffee, clothes, and my mat for the next morning.
10:00-10:30 p.m. I read in bed with a cup of tea. DH sleeps in the girls’ room.
Wednesday
5:50 a.m. Wake up
6:30 a.m. Hot yoga class
7:45 a.m. I get home, girls are fed and playing. I hop in the shower and get dressed.
8:15 a.m. I get the girls dressed, put away our snack box delivery. DH packs snacks and gets dressed for the day.
8:40 a.m. I drop off the girls. I call and chat with my mom.
9:00 a.m. DH and I chat while I tidy up and prepare my breakfast.
9:15 a.m. DH leaves, I eat at my desk and start work.
Noon Lunch, clean up. I get distracted on the internet for way too long.
1:30-1:50 p.m. Short video call with a recruiter. I am not looking for a new job but this one seemed interesting enough to explore further.
1:50 p.m. I’m still hungry so I make myself a snack. I eat at my desk while I work.
3:00 p.m. Pick up 4 y.o., deal with a tantrum, help with homework. Set her up in front of the TV so I can work.
3:00-5:00 p.m. Work, DH picks up 1 y.o. and some takeout.
5:30-7:00 p.m. Dinner, cleanup, playtime. I shower due to a major soup spill.
7:00-7:30 p.m. Bedtime routine. DH and I switch off cleaning and bedtime.
7:30-8:30 p.m. Couch rotting with Netflix
8:30-10:30 p.m. Clean up and get ready for bed
10:30-11:30 p.m. Read and sleep
Thursday
6:00-8:30 a.m. Breakfast and get ready for the day. DH and I both switch off.
8:30 a.m. I start on work while DH finishes up. He takes both girls to drop off the 4 y.o. at school so I can work.
9:30 a.m. I take 1 y.o. to her Dr. appointment, then drop her off to daycare.
10:40 a.m. Back home working
11:20 a.m. My friend calls to ask if I am still coming to lunch. (I thought we were meeting at 12:00.) I rush over and we chat and eat for ~30 minutes before she has to leave. I continue to eat and work at the bar.
2:30 p.m. I head home and continue working.
3:30 p.m. DH and 4 y.o. come home. I help her organize her crafting supplies while I work.
5:00 p.m. I pick up 1 y.o. DH warms up leftovers for dinner.
5:30-7:30 p.m. Dinner, playtime, bath, bedtime, and laundry
7:30-8:30 p.m. Hang out and chat with DH
8:30-9:30 p.m. Cleaning up and chores
9:30-11:00 p.m. Hang out with DH while we scroll on our phones. He tells me about his therapy session from a few days ago. I place two Instacart orders for the next day.
11:00 p.m. 1 y.o. wakes up crying and won’t let me leave the room for a bit. I chat with my assistant (overseas, so she works nights) about some tasks assigned to her.
11:30-12:30 p.m. I read in bed.
Friday
6:00-8:30 am. Wake up, breakfast, get ready for the day. DH takes 1 y.o. to daycare.
8:30-9:00 a.m. I drop off 4 y.o. and work in the car.
9:00 a.m. 4 y.o. has been guilting me about volunteering at her school. I help her class check out books.
9:30 a.m. I get home and DH has put away one of the Instacart orders. I start work.
1:40 p.m. Walk to pick up 4 y.o. because she likes to not go to afterschool on Fridays and I try to indulge her whenever possible. We go to the playground where she plays and I edit document I printed out.
2:30-5:00 p.m. I make a quick lunch and eat while I work. 4 y.o. gets 20 minutes of screentime and does crafts next to me while I work. She interrupts me approximately 1,000 times.
4:40-5:10 p.m. DH was supposed to make dinner and didn’t want me to prep. He gets struck in traffic so I leave with 4 y.o. to get takeout. DH picks up 1 y.o. on his way home.
5:10-5:30 p.m. Dinner
5:30 p.m. I get back to work. Girls play with DH.
5:45 p.m. Girls are crying. DH has disappeared from the family room. I get the girls drinks and snacks.
6:00-7:00 p.m. Work
7:00 p.m. Bath and bedtime for the girls. DH escapes to the car for some quiet time and work.
7:30-8:30 p.m. DH and I chat for a bit, DH gets ready for bed.
8:30-9:00 p.m. Work
9:00 p.m. I smoke some weed and get to cleaning.
11:00 p.m. In bed reading
11:30 p.m. 4 y.o. wakes up scared that there’s a spider in her bed. She slides into bed with me.
Saturday
4:30 p.m. 4 y.o. says her legs are wet. I notice mine are too. We hop into the shower and I take her to my bed and we sleep for a bit next to DH.
6:00 a.m. 1 y.o. wakes up, breakfast, playtime, and cleaning up around the house
11:30 a.m. Girls have lunch, we continue doing chores around the house
1:00 p.m. 1 y.o. goes down for a nap, DH goes down for a nap. 4 y.o. watches TV while I read for an hour
2:30 p.m. I start cooking. Our neighbors are coming over for dinner and bringing the protein along. 4:30 p.m. DH leaves to grab dessert.
5:00 p.m. My neighbor calls — her 3 y.o. is having a meltdown and doesn’t want to leave. I get both girls in our stroller and run over. 3 y.o. calms down and gets in the stroller. DH picks up our 4 y.o. on his way back.
6:30 p.m. DH leaves to meet up with some out of town friends.
7:00 pm. I get the girls in the bath; the neighbors lock up as they leave.
7:30 p.m. I smoke up while watching TV. I clean
11:00 p.m. Reading in bed.
Here are some follow-up questions we asked ZJ:
[highlight parts of schedule]
Are you still doing hot yoga? Is it easy/hard to fit into your weekly schedule?
Yes — we are currently living in an Airbnb because of a major reno, so my husband and I switch nights. Once we are back in our space, I hope to go back to doing it a few times a week in the early mornings.
Do you have specific screen time rules for your 4-year-old?
Not really — we try to limit screens and what she watches, but the screen is our free nanny. In hard/busy times of life, she gets to watch a lot more. When we have it together, she watches less. This weekend she watched for two hours while my husband and I napped. Last week she had no screen time as we were busy. We monitor the content she watches — if she starts having meltdowns related to screens (turning off, or asking about it a lot) we take a little screen detox for a week before we get back to it. We use the Yoto to keep screen time down and it also helps with detoxing.
Do your daughters get along well?
Yes! They both love each other and want to do everything together. There’s the obvious fights regarding sharing occasionally. I will try to advocate for who had it first, appeal to the other to share, and then finally threaten to take it (whatever “it” is) away if they can’t figure it out.
You mentioned Ramadan and giving your kids cultural memories of your holidays — could you please expand on that a bit? Were you born in the U.S. or elsewhere?
I was born in Pakistan, my husband was born in the U.S. We are both not religious but try to maintain the cultural connection for the kids. We often try to get together with my husband’s family in the Midwest. (Sometimes we travel, sometimes they do.)
The night before Eid, we will get henna on our hands and buy jewelry that goes with our outfits. Sometimes there’s festivals celebrating “Chaand Raat” (direct translation is “moon night” — the night before Eid). On Eid — once at the end of Ramadan and another approximately two months after — the kids get to dress up in fancy clothes, jewelry, and makeup, and we go to local carnival/Eid festivities that have things like face painting and bouncy houses for kids. They get to have unlimited sweets and snacks on the day, and we FaceTime all our family.
On one of the two Eids in the year, older family members give the kids money called Eidi as a present.
Thanks so much to ZJ for sharing a bit of her life as a working mom! Readers, what’s your biggest takeaway from her week of work as a lawyer as well as her general work/life balance?
Stock photo via Stencil.
Psst: Check out some of our other top working mom diaries, including:
