Here’s a random question for today: Do you ever think way too hard about what “note” you want your fashion choices to reflect when you’re dressing for a mom-related event — and spend, say, hours trying to decide what to wear to a parent-teacher meeting? For example, if you usually work from a business casual office or work from home, do you dress better for meetings where you want you and your child to be taken seriously? (Kind of like how one of readers’ top daycare tips is to dress your baby well so the clothes can speak when they can’t?) On the flip side, have you ever dressed more casually than you otherwise would in order to seem more accessible or friendly — kind of like how my network TV lawyer friend always left her suit jacket off when talking to the comedy writers?
For my $.02, whenever I have a meet-the-teacher event, I take a lot more time with my appearance and try to put on “nice clothes,” meaning a step up from what I wear to work from home. Ditto for my darling husband, who often dresses very casually for work (even when he’s not working from home, which is also often) — I often have to remind him to please shave, and to not wear a hoodie and/or ripped jeans to a meeting with a teacher, doctor, or specialist. To me it’s a bit like a lawyer representing a client — I want to be seen as a serious advocate for my child. (Or, at least, not a slob…)
Readers, what are your thoughts? Do you dress a special way for some mom-related events and meetings? What do you think you should wear to parent-teacher meetings (and beyond)? Do you think you’ve ever been treated differently according to what you’ve worn to different things?
Stock photo via Stencil.
Beth @ Parent Lightly says
Honestly I don’t have enough mental energy for this. I’m wearing what I’m wearing and too bad if it gives an impression. My only consideration would be comfort (eg if I need to sit on the ground, wear pants. if walking a lot, wear flats).
Anonymous says
I usually try to make it obvious that I’m a working mom, as the overwhelming majority of moms in our area are SAHMs. It’s not about looking like an advocate for my child, it’s about sending a message to our extremely sexist school administration and PTA that moms have jobs too. It is really terrible. Dads get to be PTA president and to volunteer in a special dads-only one-day program. Moms are only allowed to bake homemade treats for teacher meetings, volunteer on a weekly basis in the middle of the school day, decorate for the school dance, and fill stereotypically feminine PTA offices such as “membership committee chair” (sit at open house in the middle of the workday and pressure parents to join the PTA).
Katherine says
Yes! I do this too.
Coach Laura says
I’m late to this comment but I wonder if my elementary kids school PTA is an anomaly? The meetings were always at night, three out of the four Presidents before me were working moms and I was Treasurer and then President while working. There were one or two dads on the Board of Directors.
The middle schools and high school PTA meetings were also in the evenings. The carnivals and some other events were at night, while the Jog-a-Thon was during school hours per necessary. The regional PTA events were divided between night and work hours.
To the OP, I would stage a revolution and demand that the PTA alternate meetings between day and nighttime or something to encourage moms and dads both to attend. It’s 2020 not 1985.
rakma says
I’m so often coming straight from work, or at best, running home, eating dinner and then going, so it’s work clothes all the time. I might switch out a blazer for a sweater, but usually, it’s whatever I was already wearing.
Anonymous says
+1. I dress nice for work but usually drop the blazer to meet with the (Daycare) teachers. They’re usually dressed much more casually so a blazer would feel really weird.
Strategy Mom says
Yes, and I wish I didn’t care. BC i work and the other moms are SAHMs who are always dressed fabulously, I feel like i have to put in extra effort to look cute and trendy and show that I can play that game too. UGH. Clearly this is a me problem and highlights my insecurities. There is no rational reason for this
Mrs. Jones says
No I just wear whatever I wore to work.
Birthday party update says
So yesterday I cleaned out my husbands car of child related things and found a birthday invite in his lunchbox. The invite envelope was white and about the size of a valentines day card. Party was saturday so kid missed it. I did call the mom to apologize.
My advice for her:
1) give invites to adult people
2) check in if people don’t rsvp (this other mom knows me professionally and could have emailed or just asked in person)
3) big bright envelopes
My advice for me:
1) Husband’s car is gross.
Anonymous says
Seems like husband and child are the ones that dropped the ball here, not the other mom. A bigger, brighter envelop wouldn’t have made any difference here, and it’s not the host’s responsibility to follow up.
anon says
I’m usually going to a PT conference right after work so I’m in my business clothes. If I’m being honest, I prefer it that way — lots of sahm and very part-time working types, and I like that they’re seeing me as the professional I am. I’m an involved parent but you sure won’t see me volunteering at school 10 hrs. a week like my neighbors.
Anonymous says
My office is casual, and I work from home a few days a week. If I’m wfh, I will put on real pants (not leggings), light makeup and earrings before going to a mom event or meeting, same as I would to go anywhere except CVS or a close friend’s house. Otherwise, whatever I’m wearing is fine.
Anonymous says
My son is in preschool
And I also dress up for school events even though I do a lot of work from home now. I personally like sending the message that I’m a working mom (to the mainly SAHMs at our school).