This post may contain affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
I really like this spring-like bag that’s currently on sale at Nordstrom Rack. I am always on a hunt for bags that can fit legal-sized files, and this one is 18″ wide. The bag is not leather, so hopefully the bag itself doesn’t add any weight to carrying it around. I love the shorter handle and the ability to wear it crossbody. I also love the floral design and how the hardware is rose gold colored. This bag is originally $169 but is at Nordstrom Rack for $84.97. Large Edelle Elegant Crossbody Tote
If you like this floral print, it’s available on many other Ted Baker items at Nordstrom Rack: pencil case, makeup bag, travel bag, diaper bag, cardigan, dress, and sneakers!
This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
Click here to see our top posts!
And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
natalie says
Speaking of bags, I’m looking for a new backpack for my commute. Ideally, it would hold a couple small binders, laptop, and have smaller pockets for wallet, glasses, etc, and a spot for a water bottle. I would prefer something reasonable, as I commute by train after daycare drop off, so it may get beat up. Thanks
Anon says
I’ve recommended this on the regular site, so sorry for the repeat, but I love my newish North Face Isabella backpack. Sadly I don’t see my deep red color anymore, but there are some other good options: https://www.thenorthface.com/shop/womens-isabella-backpack-nf0a3ky9?variationId=BP1#hero=2
Anonymous says
I had a Herschel backpack that I loved, but it started falling apart after less than a year. They covered it under warranty, but they don’t make that one any more, so I used the gift card they gave me to buy a new one that I like much less.
I’ve been thinking about a Dagne Dover backpack, which I think meets a lot of your requirements except reasonable price point– although it’s neoprene so should clean better than a lot of fabrics.
Interested in others’ recommendations as well!
AwayEmily says
I have a Timbuk2 backpack that has held up really well. Some of their designs are too brightly colored but many are very subdued and professional. They also do a nice job with built-in laptop sleeves. Also, I have narrow shoulders so I like that you can sort by gender to get more women-friendly options.
CHL says
I love my Everlane backpack.
strollerstrike says
PSA since the topic of family photo albums has come up in the past: Shutterfly is currently offering their “make my book” service for free.
I just uploaded 150 pics yesterday and got the book design back today. I will do some minor changes but having the pics pre-arranged really cut down on time.
Anonymous says
Oooh, interesting! How does the algorithm decide how to arrange the photos? Do you tell it what photos you want on each page and then it just arranges within the page, or does it divide the photos into pages? I usually do topical pages and don’t know how this would work with an algorithm.
strollerstrike says
You can select to either pre-arrange the pics per date or put them in any order you like. Then you get to select whether you many or few pics per page.
The book that I got back ended up having one page per event/trip in chronological order except for trips where I uploaded lots of pics (more than 5 or so), then it was spread out over several pages.
Anonymous says
Thanks!
Anonymous says
This is literally the only way I’ve managed to make photo albums. I rearrange a lot, but it makes it so much easier and less daunting overall!
Anonymous says
Thank you to the people that responded to my question about my son kicking people! Your advice was so helpful. We asked about what happened right before and he explained what happened. He expressed remorse right away and told us many times this morning about how he will tell the teacher next time. Then the teacher who witnessed it told us this morning that he was really sad about it and she had actually tried to help him understand he made a mistake and is learning.
Hearing that was refreshing since that sounds like my kid way more than face-kicking! You all are great and I appreciate it!
lsw says
I used some of the recommended strategies myself yesterday!
anon says
What is the service (often given to grandparents) where they get emailed prompts and write down memories? Has anyone done this? Any reviews?
Debating giving to my parents and in-laws – also don’t want to insult them by implying they are getting older?
EP-er says
We used Storyworth — I had low expectations, but it is honestly the best present ever for both my dad & me! You can pick the questions or use their prompts. I haven’t gotten the final book yet, but they were really accommodating with extending the subscription since my father spent a chunk of last year in the hospital. I think it depends on how much the recipient embraces the idea of answering the questions. I wouldn’t have been nearly so successful with my mother. :)
Anon says
It’s called Storyworth. My mom loves it, my dad hasn’t responded to a prompt yet – the customer service is fantastic though.
Swim Lessons says
At what age did you start swim lessons with your LO? Is 3 months too early?
Anonymous says
https://www.kidspot.com.au/baby/baby-play-and-gear/baby-play-and-toys/debate-should-threemontholds-be-having-swimming-lessons/news-story/3f19689b9e76285c41730177b336f600
Anon says
At that ages it’s just exposure to water and play. Actual lessons where a kid can start to learn to swim start around 3 yo.
Anon says
3 months seems really young, but I would definitely do it early so they get comfortable in the water. We didn’t take our daughter swimming until she was 16 months and now she’s absolutely terrified of water and won’t go near a pool, which has impacted everything from family vacations to her ability to attend friends’ birthday parties. I don’t know if swim lessons in infancy would have avoided this issue, but it couldn’t have hurt.
Anon says
We started at 3 months because a lot of the swim schools around us offer free classes from 2-6 months – but as noted above it’s just exposure and play time. We then dropped until about a year old (which we did mainly for enrichment and comfort level with water – let me tell you, my kid is a PRO at the part where they practice climbing out of the pool – she is not a fan). We stopped around 18 months because it was summer again and we just upped the parent-toddler pool time. This winter has been too sick and busy to pick up again, and we get lots of parent toddler swim time in the summer (I do not personally care for indoor pools, which is why we have more pool time in the summer). We may pick up formal lessons again around 3 or so depending on how this summer goes, which is the point at which I would actually expect some reasonable skills to start.
Jeffiner says
We started at 2 months, but it was really just holding your baby in the water to play. We didn’t put baby’s head underwater until she was 6 months old. We did weekly swim lessons from 2 months until 4.5 years old, mostly because she loved them. She’s never had a fear of the water. She can only swim a few feet, but she loves to dive to the bottom of the pool.
Anonymous says
Why would you try and drown a 6 month old? Stupid dangerous fad.
Jeffiner says
So is internet trolling, yet here we are.
Anonymous says
Omg yes like over a year too early. A three month old cannot learn to swim. If you want to take a parent child class because you wanna hang out in the water with your baby and meet other parents great but it is not learning to swim.
SC says
We started a water babies class around 9 months. It was water exposure and play, but I think it helped me feel more comfortable taking my son into the water, and it probably helped him be comfortable in the water. We did toddler swim lessons when he was 2, and he was swimming underwater by himself around 3 (but not well enough to not drown). He’s almost 5 now, and we just started “real” swim lessons where they teach actual technique (other than just yelling “kick kick kick”).
Anon says
If you have access to a pool, I don’t think it would be worth the money. Or time! You’ll have years of kid activities and Saturday mornings that aren’t your own, why start now?
Anonymous says
So we did “lessons” at 4 months. We found it very helpful because it was our first baby, it was a nice warm pool and a fun thing to do on Sunday mornings, and the instructor was great about helping us learn songs, ways to play with baby in the water, and different ways to hold baby in a float, etc to help them get comfortable. The instructor even said during like the last class, “now you may have noticed you don’t really need me here to do many of these things with your child…” and we kind of heard him and did not sign up for any more. BUT- we used all the strategies we learned in the class with our second, and kept exposing both kids to the pool on a regular basis, and now, at ages 1.5 and 3.5 both kids are so so comfortable in the water and we can have a lot of fun on various vacations, as opposed to some of my friends who’s kids never go in the water and therefore spend a lot of time at the beach screaming. Can my kids swim on their own? No. But they are very comfortable and happy in the water and that was our goal with the lessons.
Anon Lawyer says
I just took my baby in the pool at 3 months in vacation and I think it was super fun for both of us. She seemed really interested in and fascinated by it. I’m going to sign us up for swimming lessons when the local school starts (at 4 months). I know it’s just for fun rather than learning how to swim but I think it’ll be worth it for both of us.
Anonymous says
1) Depends on where you live and
2) You should start when your kid is crawling
In NYC kids learn to swim at 4ish years. In Florida, Texas, CA, AZ kids with daily access to pools easily swim at 18 months to two years.
If you start after your kid starts fighting you on laying down for a diaper change your kid won’t learn to be comfortable on their back, which is the safest way for little kids to swim.
Green Boots says
Any advice appreciated: I’m going back from maternity leave on Monday and my child is still a lousy sleeper. How do you remain even somewhat functional? (My older child was a slightly better sleeper, plus my leave was longer.) Please help :(
Anon says
Following with interest.
Emily S. says
Don’t underestimate lunchtime naps in your car or the mom’s room. And if you are pumping and can spare the time (I know, billable hours means you usually are working and pumping) nap then, too. If baby is waking up a few times a night, take turns with your partner to get up (the idea being so that you can get 6 or so hours of uninterrupted sleep.) If you are nursing, have your partner bring the baby to you in bed so all you have to do is be present. If not, have partner give the baby a bottle. The trade-off can be nightly or every other night, but it really helps. Also, don’t rely just on coffee; get out and take a brief walk, sit in front of a sun lamp, etc. to get your energy up without a subsequent crash. If it is not too late, can you push your return back to Wednesday so you only have 3 full days in the office before a break (this was the most helpful advice I received as a new working mom.) Finally, just accept that you make be using sign language to communicate when words fail and be met with a lot of, “wow you look tired” for a few months until baby leans in to sleeping. Good luck with your return to work!
Jessamyn says
Can you hire a night nurse? Think of it as a work-related expense just like commuting or day care — you need to be able to think and function or you can’t do your job, and to do that you need sleep. If you can outsource some childcare in order to increase your amount of sleep, that may be a good short-term investment for now.
AwayEmily says
Trade off nights, or big sections of nights (at least 6 hours), as much as possible. Whoever is “off” gets to sleep in the bed with a noise machine cranked to high (this is an important part — you don’t want to wake up every time the baby wakes up!).
Anonymous says
Formula bottle before bed.
Anne says
Go to sleep as early as humanly possible. Accept that your house will be messy and maybe your bills will get paid a little late (or whatever you usually do at night) and just go to sleep as soon as you can.
shortperson says
you are allowed to do cry it out to save your sanity and/or job. or just because you are ready. baby will be OK.
Sleepy says
This should go without saying, but in case it doesn’t – It’s also okay NOT to do CIO if you don’t want to or to wait until you and baby are ready. I’m sure this experience varies a lot, but personally I felt a LOT pressure to do CIO, with people acting like it was the only rational solution for a working mom—even when my baby was still younger than the recommended age. It was really frustrating and made me feel like I was being a martyr or somehow bringing sleep deprivation on myself instead of dealing with a normal new mom problem.
anon says
You have my sympathy. It is really hard to go to work when you’re sleep deprived.
– Go to bed as early as possible.
– Figure out “night shifts” with your partner. My DH took the 3-6 a.m. shift when it was hardest for me to wake up because I’d already been up to nurse.
– Definitely nap on the weekends.
– Keep your lunch/pumping breaks as chill as possible. Go out to your car and have a cat nap if you need to!
– Lower your standards
– Lower your standards
– Lower your standards
– When it feels right, it’s OK to sleep train. You likely won’t make a ton of progress before the 6-month mark, though.
I promise that you *will* get to have a life again, but the first year as a working mom is really about survival. This is not the time for achieving lofty goals.
Anon says
My child is 2.5 and still a lousy sleeper (and a lousy sleeper with a cry that rivals a siren so everyone is up). I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve slept through the night since she was born. What I would say is that you get used to it? I mean, it’s not great, but it’s doable. I’m also low caffeine due to heartburn issues, which conversely I think helps – I’m able to fall asleep quite quickly. For me it is all about maximizing sleeping in (because my job keeps me up late but typically has more latitude in the mornings), taking extra naps on weekends (and I hate napping) and in general just saying no to anything extra. My one tip is (and how we’re surviving) is to do what you need to to get the most sleep for the most number of people. We have tried CIO every few months thinking maaaybe it will work *this time* – the last time resulted in me (again) cleaning up the vomit with a carpet cleaner (while DH cleaned the child) at midnight because kiddo throws up when she cries too much. So trust your mom instincts and do what you need to do to survive (if that’s CIO and it works for you and your kid great, if that’s rocking to sleep awesome, and if you’re me, it’s allowing a toddler to co-sleep because you have to sleep somehow).
Anonymous says
Hang in there! My older daughter was like this (including the vomit), and she finally regularly slept through the night at 2 years 9 months. She’s 12 now and just put herself to bed without prompting and wakes up to an alarm she sets herself. Feels really good.
IHeartBacon says
If you have or have access to an office with a door, take a 10 minute power nap midday. Just put your head down on your desk and set your alarm for 15 minutes since it’ll probably take you a couple minutes for your mind to settle and fall asleep.
Green Boots says
Thank you for all the kind words & tips! I’m seriously printing out and annotating this tread :)
For those who take car naps: I really want to try this, but I just use street parking. Am I going to really freak out passersby? It’s not the most hopping neighborhood, but there are definitely people around …
Atty Meg says
Good luck! My tip for when you first get back is take GREAT notes and be diligent about your to-do list. No matter what I did at first, I still felt foggy. You want to make sure you understand assignments very clearly and write it all down. And go back and look at those notes during an assignment more than you would normally. I was thankful I had my notes for a project that resurfaced months later, because my memory alone would not have sufficed.
Paging So Anon says
I didn’t get a chance to check back until late last night-thanks so much for the lawyer recommendations. I’ll pass them along.
Partner travel ? says
For those of you whose partner travel often, any suggestions for making solo parenting less stressful? My husband is likely to be doing a few months of near-constant travel – so I’ll be on my own with our nearly 2 year old (and dog) while working full-time. I have local family to help, and a saintly dog walker, but worried about feeling lonely (toddler goes to be early which is great, but then I obviously can’t leave) and toddler missing his dad. Any sage advice from those who have been there ?
Jessamyn says
Don’t worry too much about toddler missing Daddy, honestly. Not sure if you all have dealt with travel before, but IME, my kids didn’t start even really noticing their dad was gone on work travel until they were more like 4 years old. Toddlers are just so in the moment, and honestly the person they need is Mommy. FaceTime can also be nice, but again, my kids were usually too distracted and not that interested in it — it was more for their dad’s benefit to feel connected to them while he’s away.
As for loneliness, maybe schedule some play dates to make sure you get non-work adult socializing in, if you think that sounds appealing. I love having evening playdates from like 6:00 to 7:30, we keep it very low key and order pizza and just let the kids play around for awhile before bed.
And feel free to hire evening childcare if you feel like you need the break/help. Sounds like you’ve got it covered with local family, too, but if not, look at the childcare as the cost of *your husband* having the flexibility to go out of town for his job, not as a cost that is somehow “on you.” Ditto to bringing in a house cleaner or sending out the laundry to a wash-n-fold service while your husband is gone. If your partner can’t take on any of the adult tasks in the household because he’s gone for work, it’s perfectly reasonable to outsource them to a third party rather than take them all on yourself by default.
anon says
Will he be back for weekends?
My husband travels a lot and honestly the kids have learned to just roll with it. They’re excited when he’s home and not fussed when he’s away – it’s much harder on him than on them (baby, 3 and 4, but he’s always traveled a lot) – I wouldn’t worry about kid.
As for you, I think having family come by to help with bedtime could be good. Fun for toddler and you can talk to an adult. If you wanted you could also hire evening help, although honestly I think the need for that kicks in more with trying to get three kids to bed. I’d rely more on family here since what you’re really looking for is adult interaction.
I will say, I find parenting to be more fun when there’s someone to share the funny lines with – or switch off with when frustrated. So it’s not ideal. But if there’s an end in sight, I think that will help!
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1. Are we the same person? While I have very active family in the area, the drive from my parents house to our current short-term rental situation in rush hour is just not absolutely necessary as we get home around 5:30 and DS is down by 7-7:30, but I do appreciate the extra time with my Mom when it’s happened. Could also be a way to get out and sneak a workout or a quick friend-date in.
TBQH, I revel in the alone time after DS goes to bed (and start doing things like…binging Love is Blind on netflix). We also do a video call with DH while DS is eating dinner, it’s a bit of a standing date when DS is on travel or working late.
I would think through what at-home “treats” you’d like to do for yourself and make those a priority. Also, for social activities when I’m solo parenting I ask a friend to come over and do delivery + wine with me. Helps to break up the week nicely.
Except now we have our dog AND a puppy. TBHQ, the puppy is the hardest part and he and the older dog end up spending a lot of time in the (windowed) laundry room of the home we’re currently renting because I just cannot deal…but hey, at least the puppy is not in the kennel?
Anonymous says
If you can get a cleaning service and possibly other household help to reduce the weekend chore load, solo parenting during the week might actually be easier than having a partner around full-time. I also have one child and a dog, and find weekdays much easier when solo parenting. You don’t have to deal with your partner’s schedule, preferences, and needs, and can just focus on taking care of yourself and the kid. You can get away with snacky things or leftovers or takeout for dinner, there are fewer lunches to make, and there is less mess to keep on top of. Since your child goes to bed early, you should be able to spend a few minutes tidying up and then relax in peace in a quiet, empty house. The real challenge is actually the weekend when your partner is home. There are the usual weekend chores to do, there may be extra chores you couldn’t get done during the week, and he’s spending time unpacking and packing. If you can outsource some or all of the chores so everyone can relax and spend time together over the weekend, it could be a really awesome setup.
Anonymous says
In terms of feeling lonely, do you have friends/ family who can hang out at your house after kid goes to bed? That way you don’t need to get a sitter, but still get adult social interaction.
Anne says
My husband used to travel a ton for work. My top three were: 1) listening to podcasts at night while cleaning up after bedtime, which gave me a form of company; 2) scheduling phone time with my husband even if it was five minutes; 3) putting my husband entirely in charge of meal planning — it could be easy, it could be take out, it could require me to do minimal cooking but he had to figure out what we were eating each night and make sure it was set up for us to eat it.
DLC says
I often work evenings and weekends, and when we know we have a long stretch like that coming up, my husband will reach out to friends and make plans for them to come over and hang out- we have several friends without children who are happy to come over on a weeknight- husband makes a simple supper and the friend hangs out, hold the baby, keeps the older kids entertained while husband puts the younger ones to bed, then hangs out a little bit afterwards. Same thing on the weekends too. We found friends are happy to come over, but we have to actively reach out and ask.
Also- if having a social life is life saving for you, feel free to prioritize that above, say, healthy home-cooked meals, or vacuuming. When you solo parent, you get to make these choices.
Beth @ Parent Lightly says
Kid will be fine so I wouldn’t worry too much about that. Over many years of husband travel here is what I do: 1) Regular babysitter night so I can leave the house after kid is in bed for exercise, errands, etc. 2) Invite family over to hang out and/or watch kid. Sometimes my MIL will have dinner with us and then help with bath. It’s nice to have company and another set of hands. 3) Simple but healthy food. For a while I just did takeout all the time when my husband was gone and ended up feeling really yucky. So now I just do super simple food like rotisserie chicken and scrambled eggs. 4) Do stuff that you look forward to for you – shows or movies your husband hates, lots of reading, hot bath, whatever makes you happy that you don’t have time to do when you’re hanging out with your husband. 5) Massage – increases your patience by at least 25%.
AwayEmily says
Echoing the “have family come after work sometimes.” My partner is gone 3/5 days a week and my mom usually comes one of those days just to hang out with us, help with bedtime, etc, and then after the kids go to bed we have a glass of wine and chat. It’s really, really nice. During especially stressful times I’ll also have her pick up some dinner on her way over.
Partner travel ? says
OP here – these are all super helpful suggestions and i appreciate the reassurance that toddler won’t miss daddy too much. My husband will be able to come home some, but not all, weekends. We’ll survive and I need to find some tv he hates watching to binge in the meantime.
PR Anon says
Just a thank you to everyone for all the great advice in transitioning back to work. LO started daycare on a Tuesday, I started work on a Thursday (remotely), office on Friday and despite a lot of tears and feels on my part, all went really well. To my surprise, new boss offered “flexibility” upon my return and pumping setup is working out well. So grateful to have found this hive of smart moms!
Anon says
I remember telling myself that after 2 weeks the new routine will be habit. And it was! Not that it was ever easy, but the first 2 weeks were the hardest.
Jessamyn says
Would you all mind giving me some input on my standards for kids’ clothes and how put-together they need to be? My daughter fell yesterday and tore a hole in the knee of her leggings. These leggings cost $5, and she’s only worn them a few times. We can easily afford to replace them. I decided to throw them away rather than have her wear leggings with a hole in the knee or get them repaired (if that’s even possible?). Was that the right call? What do you all do when your kids turn up with clothes that are ripped or with stains that won’t come out after treatment?
AwayEmily says
When they’re ripped I toss them. Stained stuff gets put in their extra clothes bins at daycare.
Emily S. says
I have a sliding scale: a small hole in an inconspicuous place means they can wear it a few more times, a giant hole in the knee means it goes in the textile recycling bag (full disclosure, I have good intentions of recycling textiles but I threw the bag in the garbage this morning. Ugh.) Same with stains: lighter stains, longer wear; darker or more overall stains means I toss it. I wouldn’t bother trying to repair a $5 pair of leggings, because I can’t sew, so the time to research and repair would outweigh the cost for me. (I might research if there’s a clothing guarantee, though, like Cat & Jack’s, and return it. Maybe.) I do try to shop second hand for better name brands or buy them on sale so the clothes last longer, which also means that I’m more willing to let some stains and rips slide so they get more wear out of it. I’ve also found that these brands don’t rip as easily and stains wash out more easily. I also judge based on occasion: daycare clothes can be in worse shape than, say, clothes they are wearing to a birthday party or for pictures.
Anonymous says
I agree on the sliding scale. At times, my 4 year old goes to daycare in clothes that have a hole in the knee or a stain. The clothes are clean and he does not care. I finally realized I did not need to care was after the day he came home from picture day with stains on his nice clothes.
ALC says
I was just coming here to ask a similar question about stained baby clothes — no answers, but following with interest!
octagon says
How big is the hole? Kiddo just scraped his elbow and put a tiny hole in a sleeve. I did a small visible mending job to keep the hole from getting bigger and he’s fine with it. For a big hole, I probably wouldn’t bother unless it was a precious piece of clothing.
Jessamyn says
It was small, like pencil-eraser sized. I don’t know how to mend, though, so by “repair” I meant take it to a tailor…
Anonymous says
That would cost more than replacing the pants.
rosie says
For that size hole, you can just take needle and thread, tie a hole at the end, turn pants inside out, and put in a bunch of stitches (or your spouse can do this, if you have one…my dad took care of stuff like this growing up). Doesn’t have to be pretty, and if you have a little sewing/mending kit from a hotel bathroom, that will be sufficient supplies. Not trying to pressure you to fix it, but just wanted to say that it’s not too hard.
Spirograph says
oh no! I would never take any kids clothes to a tailor for repairs. Mending is me grabbing a needle and thread and stitching while I watch TV. If you have any interest in learning, simple sewing is VERY easy, and you could learn from a youtube video in 5 minutes or less. Sewing kits are cheap and come multiple colors of thread so you can match whatever you need. I keep a tiny one in my purse and it’s been useful more time than I can count.
lawsuited says
My kids have “daycare clothes” and “home clothes”. I’m cool with clothes in the former category having stains, pilling or fading, but not holes. I’d patch an item of clothing (including leggings) if it was beloved, but probably not otherwise.
rosie says
In DC (in case there is a geographic component) — I put a few stitches in knee holes if that looks like it could be sufficient or maybe I’ll try patches if it’s a bigger hole (my kid won’t wear something with an obvious hole & will point out whenever we have holes in our socks etc.). Don’t worry about smaller stains. For something that I don’t think I can sew up, I’ll repurpose as a rag.
Spirograph says
Same. I have a sliding scale like mentioned above. If the clothes are newer and otherwise in good shape, I mend holes. If they’re already looking worn, getting too small, and it’s a big hole, it goes to textile recycling (thank you H&M) or turns into a dusting rag.
strollerstrike says
How about iron-on embroidery patches? You iron them over the hole so you don’t have to toss otherwise perfectly fine clothes.
Quick amazon search reveals pretty cool ones, in a range of themes.
Jessamyn says
Interesting idea that I hadn’t thought of. I think for a $5 pair of leggings, the juice ain’t worth the squeeze for something like this, though. If I’m buying something, I’d just as soon replace the leggings and save myself the work.
anon says
I’ll admit that I have a pretty low tolerance for raggedy clothing.
– If I’ve done my best to remove the stain but it’s not coming out, I get rid of it. Or hide it for weekend wear when I know she’ll be getting dirty.
– A ripped knee in a pair of Target leggings? They’d be gone.
I noticed that one of my daughter’s shirts has some teeny tiny holes on the sleeves. I’ve decided to let her keep wearing it, because the holes aren’t visible unless you’re looking. I’ll toss it at the end of the season.
My kid is 5, so she’s not going through a ton of backup clothes at daycare anymore. She has a spare tee, leggings, and underwear that get used only occasionally.
Jessamyn says
Yeah, this is about where I am. Probably should have put it in the OP, but part of this has to do with our SES and wanting my kids to look polished/put together, rather than just “good enough.” I think “low tolerance for looking raggedy” is maybe the standard I’m going for and not always achieving, and being ruthless about purging stained/ripped/faded clothing would help that cause.
Anon says
This comment about your “SES” is super snobby. For what it’s worth, the stereotypes about people getting wealthy by being frugal aren’t entirely off base. My husband and I are affluent and very highly educated and our kids definitely have worn clothing with stains or small tears, as do many other kids in our affluent neighborhood/school. If you’re talking about kids under 5, it’s basically impossible to keep them looking “polished” regardless of how much you spend, nor would I want to insist on it – I WANT my kids to get messy and dirty because that means they’re being kids and having fun.
GCA says
I hear this on frugality, but also will add (from my POC perspective) that race is also a factor in the desire and accessibility of looking polished in certain ways. I truly cannot pull off shabby chic New-England-prep style the same way that DH’s tall, blonde, patrician aunt can, for instance.
Does this translate to my half-white kids?…maybe. Sometimes. TBH they just go to daycare in whatever’s clean, stains or no, but birthday parties and family events would be a different story. Small rips and tears we try to repair, and again it depends on the occasion – son wears patched jeans to daycare, but not for dressier occasions. The really ripped and stained stuff goes to textile recycling.
Blueberries says
I read the comment on “SES” as Jessamyn saying that she isn’t super privileged or doesn’t read as super privileged to strangers, so wants her kids to appear more polished to avoid poor treatment. I don’t think that’s snobby at all.
As GCA noted, people who have a ton of privilege, especially if they come off as privileged to strangers, have a lot more leeway to not be polished and still be treated well by others.
anon says
I hear you. And honestly, hair is a bigger factor in the raggedy look, and I haven’t figured out how to solve that. I swear that I brush kiddo’s hair and style it nicely, although you’d never know it by the time 5 p.m. rolls around! :)
I’ve had to loosen my standards a bit — particularly letting my kids pick out their own outfits, which are not always how I would prefer to put them together. But, I think it’s important for their independence and their ability to figure out self-expression, so I mostly let it go.
Jessamyn says
Haha yes!! Oh my gosh the hair by the end of the day… what even…
Anonymous says
Preschoolers in day care are just not going to look polished, no matter what. They are going to run around outside and get dirty and sweaty and disheveled, drop food on their clothes, drip snot all over their faces, and get covered in marker and paint. That’s just what happens.
I would go with lawsuited’s system of separate wardrobes for day care and home. I’d also draw the line at holes, especially on the knees and elbows where protection from scrapes is needed.
Anonymouse says
I’ll mend minor rips on daycare clothes, especially as they’re often hidden (onesies worn under sweatshirts), but that’s partially because I have to have sewing stuff out and available to hem for my “chunky” – ie, needs to go up a size to accommodate girth but then everything is too long – toddler. Partially because we are on a tight budget, but also because I hate throwing out clothes.
Another point is that I do try to dress kid a bit fancier when we are out and about for errands, meals, as I think it buys us a little grace – people seem to notice the cute outfit and smile whereas they’re more frowny when it’s a scrubby day. Total anecdata, but it really seems to hold true. Similarly to how some folks here have reported dressing babies in fancy clothes for daycare, which we gave up on once mobile.
Pigpen's Mama says
+1. My daughter has some solid color dresses of various cost levels that have light stains on them, and I really hesitate to put her in them. I think because she looks like a hot mess within 5 minutes of getting dressed no matter what I do, I want to at least get started on the right foot. Between her hair (curly), her eating style (enthusiastic and messy!), and her love of markers, her nickname on here his well deserved :)
Anonymous says
Sliding scale as noted above, but I will also just plug Greendrop- they will come and pick up all your old clothes, toys, etc, even the ripped clothes, because they also do textile donations! Free and easy and helps a good cause.
DLC says
For leggings, i will cut them off to make bike shorts, or some such, to be worn under skirts or dresses. I also do use iron on patches for leggings if I felt like they were worth keeping (i.e. The Hanna Andersson ones). Also tiny holes get mended- which i learned to do by watching YouTube videos. Pants, jeans, etc., I will let them wear if the hole isn’t huge. Also often ripped, but still wearable clothes will go in my car or to school as a back up pair to have in case of accidents while out and about. I agree sometimes the cheap stuff seems not worth the trouble, but I’m somewhat of an optimistic hoarder who has issues throwing things out.
GCA says
I loled at ‘optimistic hoarder’! Right there with you. This annoys my far more minimalist DH a bit.
Atty Meg says
Ok moms, I need some help! These questions have to have been addressed before but I’m not seeing where. So, feel free to answer and or point me to a past post!
1. Did anyone switch to a nanny after kid #2? Any pro/cons to think about that apply with 2+ kids that don’t apply with just one? (Aka what have I not thought about?)
2. If we stay with daycare, any get-out-the-door and organizational tips?
Background- I’ll be going back to work in a few weeks after having our second child (2 yo and 8 week old). I’m going back part time for the first two months, so when I go back I’ll have the 2yo in daycare 3 days/week, and then eventually both in daycare 3 days/week. (Two days/week with grandmas). I like our daycare a lot. The routine seems good for the toddler, who has stayed in 2/week while I’ve been on leave. It’s very close to home and work. So I’m hesitant to give up our spots if a nanny didn’t work out. Also hesitant to try to get both kids and myself successfully to daycare and work 3x/week. Advice?!
Emily S. says
I can’t speak to a nanny, but we have a similar set-up with 2x/week with grandma and grandpa. My 4.5 yo is in daycare 5 days a week but 2.5 yo is with in-laws 2x/week. What works for us is splitting the drop-off and pick up load: I always do daycare drop-off but DH always does in-law drop off (and sometimes they come to us! Amazing.) In-laws bring daughter home and DH picks up daughter from daycare. This way, theoretically, I have flexibility in that I can stay later at the office to make up for being later in the am.
Mornings are a show, unfortunately. It has gotten better since we’ve been doing it for 2 years, though! The biggest time suck, surprisingly, is getting them ready for grandparents because I pack food for the day. If you and grandparents are comfortable having grandparents feed them, huge time saver. The glacial pace of putting on shoes, coat, etc. also really slows me down, so I usually put backpacks in the car while they are doing that. Key to getting out the door relatively on time is for me to be up and dressed and dog fed when they get up. Family breakfast at the table is very important to me, which takes up a lot of time, but if it is not to you, that’s an area to save time.
FWIW, keeping our older daughter in daycare with her friends was very important and turned out to be the right call for us. She likes stability and continuity and becoming a big sister was a (pleasant but still big) change for her. I would consider that — how important is the routine, the current set up for the toddler?
Finally, could you have some morning help, if you are worried about that? Someone to help with breakfast, dressing, transportation?
AwayEmily says
My kids are the same age distance as yours and I did not find dropping 2 off at daycare as hard as I worried it would be. It was kind of a pain the first couple of times as we figured out the routine but after that, NBD.
Anon says
I do know some parents who each separately take a kid to the same daycare. It doesn’t seem very logical to me (as a mom of an only) but it is an option if you find drop off with two overwhelming.
Sal says
We do this — everyone thinks it’s ridiculous but we just find it much easier and more pleasant so it’s worth the extra time to us.
Jessamyn says
“Also hesitant to try to get both kids and myself successfully to daycare and work 3x/week” — why are you hesitant? Just figure out how long it takes to get you and the kids ready in the morning, make sure you wake up and leave plenty of time to do it, and you’ll be good to go. Adding a kid to the drop-off routine shouldn’t really increase the difficulty that much. I would just try it out and assume it will be fine. I mean it may not be the quickest and most efficient experience of your life, but it’ll be doable.
anon says
I can only speak to #2, but having that second dropoff in the same location didn’t change our routine all that much. Pack things the night before, have a set morning routine (do not deviate; they will sense weakness), and get yourself awake and put together before you wake up the kids and start their morning.
Anonymous says
We switched to a nanny with two. I like the smaller ratio of care with newborns, and my older kid started part time preschool when the baby was about 10 months old, giving younger kid even more 1:1 time. What I didn’t love: days the nanny was sick or otherwise off meant we were solo parenting two kids, which happened much more often than our kids were home sick from daycare. Our youngest’s schedule was hugely affected by my oldest’s– he needed to be picked up from preschool at 2, so nanny and baby were out of the house 1:30-2:30 at least, which is prime nap time. Both kids ended up napping at 3 or 3:15, which really threw off their schedule for the night and didn’t correspond to their “natural” sleep-wake cycles.
We thought nanny would be about equivalent to two kids in daycare but adding in time off to cover her PTO, preschool tuition, and bonuses, holiday and birthday gifts, and miscellaneous spending money for outings etc., it was definitely more money.
It was really nice having her come before we needed to be out the door, as we could do last-minute getting out the door type things in those 15 minutes. It was nice being able to leave cash on the counter and ask her to pick up milk and lunch for the kids when we didn’t have our acts together to grocery shop and meal plan, and it was great having her clean up kids’ area and do their laundry.
Overall, the negatives outweighed for us and when our nanny needed to part ways, we switched back to daycare. Echoing above that getting out the door isn’t as bad as I expected.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We also have two kids in full time daycare. For switching to a nanny, I think you also have to consider that your older one will eventually go to preschool so you’ll either have to do drop off there or have the nanny do drop off and pick up (with baby who may be on a different schedule). SAHPs do this obviously, but it can interfere with schedules. Nanny is more convenient for sick days, especially if you don’t have local family nearby to help out.
I do drop off and my husband does pick up so definitely try to have one parent do one and the other parent do the other, otherwise it’s a lot of time crunch on one parent, especially with commutes. Dropping off two is fine as they’re in the same place and we park close enough that I carry one and the preschooler walks. For a baby, you can carry them in their carseat. The biggest advantage of our new daycare is that they provide all of the food. This is such a timesaver in the morning. Mornings are still rough (i.e. I’m up at 5:30 and not out the door until after 7) but the more you can have the daycare do, the better. My husband and I both handle the mornings and most evenings together, but think about getting help if you’ll be alone.
GCA says
Seconding the recommendation to split dropoffs and pickups by parent if possible, unless one parent is traveling. I start work early, husband does dropoffs, I do pickups, he works late.
OP’s minimal home to daycare to work commute also sounds great, definitely hang on to that as long as you can!
Anon says
I have preschooler twins and take our only car to work, so have done 95% of daycare dropoffs solo since they were 8 weeks old. It’s totally doable and within a week you’ll figure out a routine that works for you. I stressed about this a ton, but it’s been fine, whether I was carrying 2 carseats, carrying 2 babies, shepherding 2 toddlers, etc. Yes, there are days where I’ve had a screaming toddler tucked under one arm and trying to scoop up another one who’s whining that she needs to be carried too, but those aren’t that common.
Atty Meg says
OP here. Thank you all so much. I’m feeling much better about daycare with two, and not going the nanny route. I got anxious because drop off for just the toddler, but with the baby in tow, was exhausting today. But, we aren’t in a strict routine yet so I think that will help once I’m back to work. Thanks all!
Cradle Cap says
Does anyone have suggestions for dealing with severe cradle cap? Baby is 3 months old and it has recently gotten SO BAD. I can almost keep it under control on his scalp by brushing off the flakes and washing just his head every day. But it’s even worse all over his forehead and the side of his cheeks and those flakes don’t come off and it seems so dry and uncomfortable. I tried using baby oil and coconut oil to loosen the built-up dead skin before bathing but that didn’t help and I think the oil maybe made it worse?
anon says
DS had bad cradle cap. I had decent luck with California Baby calendula cream. At night, I’d apply the cream, let it dry a bit, then put Aquaphor on top of that.
Anonymous says
Palmers cocoa butter worked for us. Bonus is a baby that smells like chocolate.
Anonymous says
Leaving vaseline (keep it on for a while, as if you have a choice) helped somewhat. That said, if it’s truly cradle cap, it’s cosmetic so up to you whether to bother.
Anon says
My daughter had terrible cradle cap. Aquaphor cleared up the cradle cap behind her ears immediately, but she had really thick hair so we couldn’t rub oil or Aquaphor directly onto her scalp – when we tried we just made her hair greasy and didn’t reach the scalp. We tried a variety of creams and shampoos and none of them helped. Finally, we just gave up and it went away on it’s own around age 1.5, which I know is probably not what you want to hear. But it’s really not a medical issue and if your child has a lot of hair, people probably won’t even notice it.
Anon says
Do you have one of those rubber brushes? (FridaBaby makes the FlakeFixer, but we had a safetry first one I think).
We used that to rub olive oil onto the flakes, and it helped a bunch (but be sure to shampoo multiple times after). It did get worse before it got better (you loosen the flakes and it’s awful as they’re falling off). We also didn’t bathe kiddo daily, because she hated the bath at that age and I didn’t care – maybe daily bathing is drying the scalp and making things worse?
XStitcher says
We used baby oil with success. But I think you have to leave it on overnight for it to really work. I’d slather Aquaphor on throughout the day and before bed on the forehead and cheeks. Wipe off and repeat once a day or so to see if it moisturizes it and they flake off.
strollerstrike says
We dealt with something similar three months ago, only my son’s “cradle cap” turned out to be eczema. Two days of cortisone lotion cleared it up for good.
Anonymous says
We used the Medela cradle cap shampoo and the rubber brush and it worked well. We tried coconut oil before and it did not work.
Anonymous says
Mustela Stelatopia works pretty well multiple times per day and the Frida baby scrubby brush thingy at bathtime.
AwayEmily says
+1 to both of these.
shortperson says
i like a lot of the recs on this site. i bought that formula cup featured the other day for a colleague who is having a baby via surrogate. but this purse IMHO is hideous.
HSAL says
Agreed. It gives me “unfashionable grandma” vibes.
CCLA says
agreed
Anonymous says
So, I was trying to be a good mom and co parent to my husband – I am a commercial real estate attorney and I originally had closings on March 6, 11 and 16. I asked grandparents (who are all retired and local) if they were available to watch our baby this Saturday and next since I am anticipating a lot of weekend work. My husband could handle it, but I wanted to be able to give him a bit of a break on the weekend to run some of his errands. And the grandparents love spending time with their only grandchild. Inlaws said yes to this Saturday and my parents to next Saturday. Now (oblivious because I was so organized for once) all of these closings have gotten pushed out. However, I still want the grandparents to come watch the baby, and I kind of want to go into the office rather than work from the home office. Better printers, more efficient at the office…. oh, and the office is like a 5 minute drive from my house.
Is this terrible? I’m envisioning two Saturdays of efficient work and eating lunch in peace at the office. I am not great about working from home, as in I always try to also do laundry and cook and a million other things.
AwayEmily says
Will you need to save the grandparent capital for later?
Pigpen's Mama says
This is the only reason I would hesitate. You’ll be more present for your baby when you are done and can focus on house/kid stuff.
I hate how having work hanging over my head makes me less present for my kid, so even just catching up on the weekend would do a lot to minimize that.
Anonymous says
A man would totally go in to work without a second thought. If that’s what you want to do, do it.
Boston Legal Eagle says
My parents come almost every weekend or every other weekend to watch the kids, or at least one of the kids, regardless of whether we have to work (rare), run errands or date nights. Sometimes I just hide out in the home office and scroll websites in peace. You’re lucky to have available and willing grandparents nearby so I’d take full advantage! I’m sure they’ll enjoy it too.
Emily S. says
What does your husband want to do? If he says he can handle it and wants to, then I would still go to work and enjoy the quiet and productivity. If he wants the help, then grandparents can still come over while you go to work.
I think I get where you are coming from; it’s taken me about 4.5 years to be really comfortable with having in-laws watch the kids on the weekend without guilt. What has helped me is seeing how much my kids and the grandparents enjoy it; the satisfaction/recharge of being alone for a while; and realizing that grandparents aren’t going to be around forever. Do it, and enjoy the time.