Weekly Recs/Open Thread
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Something on your mind? Chat about it here. But first:
Pictured above:
- For the pregnant mama: J.Crew just started making its popular Andie chino pant in maternity sizes, and it’s now available for pre-order for $98 in three colors. (Regular sizes are marked as low as $29.) Maternity Andie pant
- For everyone: These highly-rated ponte blazers from Merona come in navy, black, and gray, and some reviewers note that they’re like wearing a sweatshirt at work. Score. They’re marked to $21 (down from $29). Merona® Women’s Ponte Blazer – Assorted Colors
- For everyone: These 1.5″ high Cole Haan wedges have been classics for years, and Zappos has them in two basic colors (black and a light beige) marked down to $99 (they were $178). Cole Haan Air Talia Wedge 40
Happy Monday, ladies!
I found the NYC BigLaw culture to be anathema to family life. The problem is that the working day starts so late (between 9:30-10am), which means that the day ends late too. I worked in perhaps the craziest of the BigLaw NYC firms, and there was absolutely no way to leave at a reasonable hour (say 6 or even 7pm) and then work from home at night. Even if you got exactly the same amount of work done as when you were in the office. I left at 9pm most nights and people would comment on how early I was leaving. Partners and associates were constantly calling and dropping by in the evening, so it was impossible to work from home.
I think this schedule is actually more problematic when the kids are older. Babies tend to rise early and go to be early. So, even if you could get home at a reasonable dinner hour, they’d probably be asleep or go to sleep soon after. It gets much more difficult when they are older, and you want to have family dinner, help with homework, etc. at night.
What do you moms in big law (or similarly time intensive jobs) do about child care? We’re expecting our first baby this fall and are both associates in NYC big law. I think we’ll need coverage until about 10 pm on weeknights. Do nannies work that late or do I need to hire 2 shifts? How do others make this work?
Suggestions from those of you who have been there, done that in trying to just get through the last month of pregnancy?
I’ve got less than a month to go, first baby, and I’ve just hit a wall with being productive at work. I’m getting done what needs to get done — but I’m not working ahead on my projects as much as I would like and I’m working at home frequently (based on the suggestion of the partner I work with the most).
The pregnancy hasn’t been complicated at all, although I am pretty uncomfortable and tired at this point.
I guess I’m just feeling bad for slowing down in the last month. I’m on track with my billable hours, no one has said anything to me, but I can’t help but feeling like I’m letting down the sisterhood and should be super-mommy-to-be.
For those of you who are/have gone through TTC, how much did you discuss the down and dirty details with your husband? I’m, well, weird as far as ovulation goes, and while I’m trying to learn it all, it’s still very hard to tell what my body wants to do (or if it wants to do anything at all, which seems more the case right now). I’m temping and checking CM, but it’s not telling me everything that it’s supposed to, which is frustrating. To be honest, I’d like my husband to ask about it and discuss the calendaring issues with me, and I feel weird bringing up unprompted (cervical mucus is not a particularly s3xy phrase). He’s a pretty straightforward guy and doesn’t get grossed out easily by that sort of thing, but I still hate to bring it up, plus I don’t want to be one of those people who gets obsessive about it. When I do bring it up, he always seems surprised by where we’re at, and gives the impression that he’s not given it a bit of thought. I guess I’d like him to be more involved with the process, you know?
I am currently 7.5 months pregnant with my first, and have a BFing/formula question.
I plan to BF while I am on maternity leave, but by the time I go back to work (12 weeks later) to fully switch to formula. What is the best way to do that? Google just brings up websites about what a terrible and selfish person I am, and how I just need to BF for longer, so not much help on that front, and I’m sorta afraid/ashamed to ask my doctor.
Is it best to supplement with formula from the beginning? To nurse for a month or two and then start supplementing? Can someone help me or give me some sort of advice? I feel like using formula is such a taboo that I don’t even know who to ask.
Thanks ladies. I wish Kat would do a post on postpartum exercise/nutrition. I feel like I need to do exercises targeted at my saggy stomach, but I’m not sure what would be most effective. I’d love to hear from others who have been through this already.
Are you breastfeeding? I found that I could never lose quite all the belly fat while I was still nursing (I choose to blame it on fat stores). Also, I agree that it’s hard for your muscles to regain their snap – it’s kind of like if you inflate and then deflate a balloon, it never looks the same. I think at least 6+ months. I was back in my pre-pregnancy clothes after about 7 months, but not everything fits right and I still have a little belly flab/looseness at 14 months (that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere).
I don’t know if people have already dicusssed this topic, but how long does it take to lose the weight after pregnancy? I just returned to work and my daughter is 4 months old. I thought I’d be back in my old clothes by now, but I still have a stomach (like 4-5 months pregnant) and not sure how/if it will go away! Does anyone else have advice on this? None of my pre-pregnancy work clothes fit aroud my stomach or my chest, which is also still bigger.
Another pumping question! How should I deal with this: I’m starting my first real lawyer job with one week of orientation to which I have to travel. I’ll need to pump about 2x/day during the day but I expect orientation will be back-to-back meetings. There are only 7 of us attending the orientation. Do I ask for time to pump? Do I ask for “personal” time? Do I wean over the next few weeks so I don’t have to pump? (I really do not want to wean already!) do I say nothing and just tell them when I show up? TIA.
Pumping Moms, what do you say when someone knocks on y0ur door while you’re pumping? I usually say “I’m busy right now,” because it feels awkward/embarrassing to have people know I’m pumping (I realize this is silly). But I offended someone important today who thought I was just saying that I was too busy to talk with them. Should I just suck it up and call out, “I’m pumping right now”? Should I just say nothing and wait for them to go away? I feel like there’s no non-awkward way to handle this.
Go ahead and get maternity pants. They’ll fit now and throughout, depending on the style (some that have the waistline like the J Crew ones above don’t fit until you really have a belly). I’m 22 weeks and still wearing flowy style non-maternity tops in my pre-preg size. The tops at Banana Republic in particular have worked well for me (but I’m on the taller side). I find that in wrap dresses, the bump shows pretty early on my body, but they do fit. Just depends on how comfortable you are with people guessing before you’re ready to say something :). Shawl style cardigans are a good basic that you can wear the whole pregnancy as well.
You’ll also likely be a size or two bigger than normal after you deliver for a few months (at least!), so depending on when you go back to work, you might get some more use out of any larger non-maternity stuff you get now. The pants I got when I first went back last time around fit me until 19 weeks this time around. They were a size bigger than my normal size.
I gained about 10 lbs in a the last few months, due to a combination of unhealthy eating and not working out during a very busy time at work. Now that things have finally calmed down, I realized my clothes are uncomfortably tight AND I found out I am pregnant (6 weeks, first pregnancy). Any suggestions for transition peices I can wear while my current clothes feel too tight (because of the non-pregnancy weight gain) and that I can possibly continue wearing during the first few months of when I start showing? I would like to wait to just buy maternity clothes but my current clothes are tight in all the wrong places and are feeling borderline unprofessional at this point!
Does anyone have a recommendation for where to find work-appropriate maternity pants in navy or grey? I’ve struck out size-wise at Loft; I think the Andies suggested above might be too casual, though I might give them a shot. Seems like everything I find is black— anyone have ideas? For that matter, if you have a favorite maternity pencil / A-line skirt for work I’d love to hear about that too!
Has anyone found something similar to the Air Talia but in regular leather (as opposed to patent?) I love those shoes but the shinyness of the patent bothers me with some outfits (particularly skirts).