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Perhaps it’s the back-to-school (or back-to-work) vibes swirling in the air, but the new pre-fall collections are so tempting. Here’s a great pick from one of my favorite places to shop, M.M. LaFleur.
This knee-length dress features a flattering, asymmetrical cinched waist, relaxed top, and extended cap sleeves. Over a third of the fabric is made from recycled polyester, and it’s treated with an anti-odor finish so you can wear it again and again before washing. I love the new aloe color (a cool, moody jade), but it comes in five other colors/fabrics as well.
The Jillian Dress is $365 and available in sizes 0P to 18.
Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
Anon DC says
Hi all! My kiddo has requested a small party for her upcoming 8th birthday. She wants to invite a handful of friends and has no other requirements. I thought this would be easier than inviting the entire class, but I’m totally stumped. It feels like with only a few kids, we should have an activity, but I’m not sure what. Our circle hasn’t really started doing drop off parties just yet, although we could start. Kiddo loves riding her bike, reading, and soccer.
GCA says
Depending on weather – pool party? Paint along or cook along activity? Pictionary/ board games? Scavenger hunt around the neighborhood? (As a timid 8yo without a competitive bone in my body, I hated the more ‘competitive’ party activities and just really enjoyed hanging out with my friends, but this is highly kid- and group-dependent.)
Anon says
It might sound too simple, but I remember an 8th birthday party where my mom set-up a t-shirt decorating actvity. She just bought packs of plain T-shirts in a couple of sizes with sponges, paint, etc. Me and my friends wore those shirts for a long time. When I think of a small birthday party I think it opens the doors for crafts or cooking personalized treats (cookies, pizza, etc.), that would be hard to do with a large group.
Anon says
Yea great idea. Could check out the crafts section at Michael’s – pair birdhouses or wind chimes or something. I might time it to be more like 90 minutes than 2 hours with a small group.
anon says
That sounds really fun!
Anonymous says
This sounds really fun and easy/low pressure.
NYCer says
I did this for my birthday when I was about 8 years old too. It was super fun!
Anonymous says
Same here. We used puffy paint in those accordion bottles. So fun.
Anon says
What about a “sleep under”? In my group, this is the perfect age to have the kids come over at like 6, order pizza, put on PJs and get in sleeping bags, then start a movie at like 7. Have popcorn available, crafts, games, etc. Maybe go out and catch fireflys/play flash light tag?
Parents come pick up their kids at like 9:30/10? All the fun parts of a sleep over, none of the next day hassle or stress about whether all the kids will fall asleep or making a kid feel left out if they aren’t allowed sleepovers (which is most of the kids in our friend group).
anon says
+1. My daughter also is turning 8, and I have considered floating this as a party idea. Tbh, I would be okay never hosting a sleepover, lol.
avocado says
I was coming here to suggest a pajama party. My daughter had one and it was a big hit. They watched a movie, ate pizza and popcorn, painted their nails, and played Mad Libs. You could also do a crazy hair styling contest.
Crafts are also a good idea for a small group of girls this age, as long as you choose the craft carefully. Around this age I tried a beading activity and a sewing activity that seemed very simple when I tested them out with my daughter, but ended up being a total nightmare with a group of kids with varying levels of interest and fine motor skills. Tie-dye usually works out well if you keep the mess outdoors or in the garage.
Anon says
+1 that would be the cool choice among DD’s friends
anonM says
If you do some kind of book theme, this is so cute and nerdy and I would have loved it as a kid. You could give a small book as a favor, and they could fill out their own book pockets/slips. https://www.thelibrarystore.com/product/cn41-1000/library-book-pockets
Anon says
Fun question. My husband is eligible to take a sabbatical next summer (July or August) of 1 month. We live on the East Coast. I will be working throughout the sabbatical, but am a consultant, so have a lot of flexibility to scale my work back during this time. We have 2 kids, aged 8 and 10. We are very outdoorsy, and have done very extensive (and difficult) adventure travel with them in the past to Iceland, Canada, and other remote spots in the US. Assume for the sake of argument right now that cost is not a factor (it will be, but I’m trying to think broadly before doing actual logistics).
Would you:
– Stay at one spot in Hawaii, but doing weekend trips and hiking trips (cons, no passport stamps or international travel!);
– Do one week at 3 different spots – we have looked at Switzerland, Italy, and France? (I think this could get really expensive and maybe exhaust the kids, but none of us have been to any of these countries);
– Go to Australia for the month – but the weather isn’t great in July/August, right?
Anon says
I should add – or something else? Open to absolutely any thoughts – we are still in the dreaming phase, and I have no idea if any of these are economically viable, but it’s fun to think really big.
TheElms says
Alternative idea – go to Africa and go on safari. I’d either do Kenya/Tanzania or South Africa/Namibia/Botswana. Either would be fantastic and its a decent time of year to go.
If I have to pick from your options I’d do Australia and add on New Zealand (since you have gone all that way) which is amazing. Australia is a huge continent so you can go different places depending on the weather you want / don’t want.
Anon says
New Zealand is worse weather-wise than Australia that time of year.
TheElms says
It is winter but there are still plenty of things to do in winter. I probably wouldn’t spend the whole month there because its winter but 1 week or 10 days would be fun. There is still some pretty good hiking, there is skiing if you want to do that, many of the glow worm caves are open in the winter and you can generally still cruise Milford Sound in winter.
Anon says
I thought the road to Milford Sound closed (at least to regular vehicles) at some point in late fall? My family pulled me out of school to go to New Zealand and Australia in late May/early June of 3rd grade (the only time I ever missed school for a family vacation) and I remember a lot of discussion about having to go to New Zealand first because winter weather would interfere more with planned activities there than in Australia. I specifically remember them saying we couldn’t get to Milford Sound after a certain date. It’s been 30 years though, so possibly things have changed or my memory is wrong.
Anonymous says
You may be required to go with a designated tour operator (or something like that) and the road can be closed if there is an avalanche but you can definitely go in Winter.
Anon says
my husband has a one month sabbatical next summer too! i fortunately can take vacation days, but my kids are only 4 (will be 5 next summer), so our plan is a lot less exciting. we will go to my dad for a week, my in-laws beach house for 3 weeks and put the kids in day camp for a week. your plans sound fun! i think it depends on what kind of sabbatical you guys want? like do you want to be in Hawaii going hiking and to the beach/pool every day, with more weekend excursions? do you want to be go go go by traveling to 3 different countries. i’d love to go to Australia, but i know it is winter there then so i don’t know what that is like. If you want to go to Europe, I would actually consider one country instead of 3, and either tour around the country, or choose one spot as your ‘home base’ and take weekend trips to other spots, which might make it less exhausting (though obviously still expensive). Or like if you do Italy, do italy for a month, and spend a longer time in each place to do it at a slower pace and build in a ‘break’ in more of a relaxing area
Anon says
Two other suggestions–
— Lake Garda/Dolomites. Get a vacation rental in this area (or move around). You would be able to take day and weekend trips to Verona and Venice. You would also be very close to Austria if you end up wanting to split the time between two places. Lake Garda was one of our favorite stops on our Italy trip (recommended to me on the main board) and has so much to do, especially for kids. The hiking in the Dolomites is also superb.
— Provence– July is when all of the sunflowers and lavender are in bloom. You could get a vacation rental and then do lots of day trips and hiking. You could also probably add Paris and maybe a weekend trip to Switzerland/Italy in as well.
NYCer says
These are both great suggestions!
NYCer says
I will add, I would probably prefer to stay in one location (“home base”) and then do a few excursions from there, or at least just pick two locations and stay for two-week stretches. Moving every week will feel like a lot of packing and unpacking IMO.
Also, I would save Hawaii for a week long trip another time.
anon says
– I vote for one spot with weekend trips and hiking trips. If you’re working throughout, you’ll end up moving spots during the weekends, and you won’t actually enjoy any downtime.
– It will be winter in Australia, but I think the weather varies by region. If winter isn’t a bad thing, consider New Zealand as well (few people from the US ski in July).
– I think one month in Italy would be amazing. You could stay in one spot and visit different villages from there. You’d have so much time to get to know an area. If you can swing a 1-week vacation, you could also visit some highlights in another city/region before flying home.
– If you’re looking for other options, I’ll throw out Singapore and Thailand.
Anon says
Fun! I’d probably do Australia. I love Hawaii and the European counties you listed, but they are good one week trips from the US. Australia is one of the few places where it really doesn’t feel worth it to me unless you can spend at least two weeks there and the country is so huge that a month isn’t even long enough to see everything. I also think with kids basing yourselves somewhere for the entire month and doing short day/weekend trips will be a lot less stressful than a new hotel every week.
Anonymous says
What about Sweden? Unless you are on the coast, Italy and France will be very hot and busy – peak tourist season in both places.
I LOVE traveling to Europe (beach is Tuscany is my happy place) but during the pandemic, discovered some spots closer to home – both PEI (great beaches!) and Gros Morne are great options for outdoorsy and family friendly. I hiked Gros Morne mountain last year with my then 9 year old so it’s very doable if they are practiced hikers. And the Tablelands are cool if your kids like geology at all.
octagon says
Definitely pick one spot as a home base because even though it’s exciting, the mental toll of having to adapt to new places every week or two will be hard on you and your kids. This way you could give yourself the flexibility to do some weekend excursions but still have a place of comfort, you can buy groceries and not have to worry about starting over in a new place, etc. I was going to suggest somewhere Scandinavian – Sweden, Norway, or maybe Denmark? The cultural differences should be enough that it will feel new even though the terrain may be similar to other places you’ve gone.
Another option, if you are open to doing some language preparation, is Japan – Kyoto or a Tokyo suburb. Super easy to get around, lots of great day trips to the country, friendly and safe.
Anonymous says
Australia. Hands down. Australian winter is not bad.
Anon says
My husband is a professor and I work remotely, so we have the flexibility to work from anywhere in the summer. My fantasy is to spend a month in Italy, probably Tuscany or the lake district, possibly as soon as next summer. But our situation is a little different than yours because husband and I would both be trying to work something resembling full time, so we’d need at least 9-3 childcare (if anyone knows a good way to find summer camps for English speaking kids in Italy, hit me up!) Also agreed July and August is peak season and too hot and crowded in much of Europe. We’d try to go in June.
Anonymous says
We tried “work from vacation destination” domestically for a shorter period this summer and it was actually pretty difficult even with child care. I felt a lot of pressure to prove I was really working instead of vacationing. It was not terribly relaxing. I imagine it would be even more challenging with a big time difference.
Anon says
I have a very laidback job that gets even more laidback in summers, and almost no meetings so time difference isn’t a big factor. I’ve done this successfully for shorter stretches. Also my husbands job is completely flexible. He wants to work, but if there were some kind of crisis he could step in and do full time childcare without suffering any negative consequences. I get that it wouldn’t work for a lot of people but I think given the nature of our jobs we can make it work. I’d at least like to try.
Cb says
My friend did home exchange this summer in Denmark and it worked out really well. Her husband worked part time and they just got to live a fun life in another city.
I’m going to do something similar in Lisbon next summer, send kiddo to a swim intensive and hang out.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I would stay in one spot somewhere very different to soak it in and “live” like a local – Hawaii, Eastern Europe (I’ve heard great things about Georgia), or even somewhere temperate in South or Central America. As much as I love Western Europe, I’d want to go somewhere a bit different. Bonus is in most of the places I suggested (not Hawaii) your dollar will go further!
I love South/Southeast Asia and would LOVE to live in Saigon Ho Chi Minh city for a month (someday!), but it will be very hot and/or monsoon season in July-August.
Anon says
Thank you all for your thoughtful ideas and suggestions! We moved around a lot on our last trip, and the very honest, thoughtful feedback upon return from the kids was that they couldn’t enjoy the trip as much because of how much we moved around. I don’t disagree that Hawaii and some of our European ideas could be accomplished in a week or so. You all are giving me the encouragement to try Australia! I *gulp* looked at ticket prices, and that will definitely be tough to swallow. That said, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, so I may just start looking for deals now, and DO IT.
Anon says
We’re tentatively planning Australia for 2024. Probably just two weeks, because that’s all we can swing in terms of vacation time. It’s definitely pricey but I think it’s an amazing place for elementary age kids. For flights, it could be a good time to cash in miles if you have any of those. If you open an airline credit card with a good signing bonus now you may be able to rack up enough miles by next summer for at least a couple of the tickets.
anon says
I don’t have anywhere else to say this out loud so I’m saying it here. My 12-year-old doesn’t have any close friends. He made one good friend last school year but the kid ghosted him all summer. We saw him at a school open house and he’s clearly not very into my kid.
Kid has some social emotional issues that we’re working on but this has been a persistent issue that’s not getting better. And now he’s old enough to see it, and it breaks my heart for him. He is kind, funny, and creative. He’s also really intense and it scares off potential buddies.
We have encouraged him to look for the kids who also seem to need a friend and it’s like he doesn’t really get it or want to.
I’m sad that my kid is the one who is never chosen to hang out, or make the cut for birthday parties and hangouts. We have tried to facilitate friendships when we can, but at a certain age, there’s only so much a parent can do.
It’s not about me, but my friends who have similarly-aged kids are having a much different parenting experience than I am, which also makes me sad.
Idk. I feel like we’ve majorly failed somewhere along the way. Younger kid makes friends very easily so I know that’s not completely true but it really sucks for my older kid.
Anon says
I’m sorry, that sounds really hard. Are there extra-curricular activities outside of school you can enroll your kid in where he’s likely to find similar personality types? Drama, art class, magic club, building robots, etc.? It’s hard when you’ve been around the same kids forever and they’ve already decided who you are.
anon says
We are encouraging (requiring) him to do something on the extracurricular front. It’s like pulling teeth sometimes.
octagon says
What does he like to do? Is there a way to adapt things he already likes to other activities? My sister struggled because the things she liked (games, comedy) weren’t typical extracurriculars at school, she wasn’t sporty, and she wasn’t the type of person to start a new club. My parents drove 30 minutes to take her to a kids night at a board game store once a month, and as soon as she was old enough they put her in improv classes at the local theater (which she really liked because it was goofy and no-pressure, no performances). If he likes things online, be sure you aren’t being dismissive of friendships there as they can be just as meaningful as real-life ones (though exercise diligence in verifying identity, etc.). You’re a good parent for being sensitive to this and wanting to support him.
Anon says
So many hugs, this sounds so hard. I know it’s easier said than done but I really don’t think this is your fault. Please try to be kind to yourself!!
My kid is much younger, but I already worry about this so much. I had a difficult social experience myself and am very intense and sensitive in friendships. A friend “broke up” with me (called me up on the phone to end it and everything) in first grade, and I think I’ve carried the after effects of that with me into adulthood. I’m super hesitant to ask people to do stuff because I don’t want to come on too strong and scare away people. I already see shades of myself in my kid, whose former BFF seems to be distancing herself from my kid now. Fortunately my kid is young enough that she’s appointed someone else her new BFF, but I know it won’t be that easy when she’s 8 or 10 or 12.
One suggestion: be there as a friend for your kid when he wants to hang out with you. I had only one friend in high school and actually really enjoyed spending time with my parents, especially my mom who basically acted as a friend when I needed one (vs. my dad who was like “It’s Friday night, why are you at home alone?!” uhh because I have no friends…thanks for pointing out the obvious dad).
anon says
This is very helpful. Thank you. I also carry some residual effects from being ostracized by peers when I was a kid. I have long-lasting friendships as an adult but some of that stuff sticks with you forever.
Anonymous says
I’m so sorry, anon. That is so hard. Wishing you and your kid comfort and strength.
Anne-on says
I’ve mentioned it on here before, have you looked at OutSchool classes? There are lots of courses that are geared to work on social skills – unfortunately it’s not something that schools teach and some kids just don’t inherently ‘get’ how to make friends and may need more concrete step by step directions – practice introducing yourself, ask questions about the other person, etc.
I also second the recommendation to lean in hard to special interest camps/activities – is there an activity he loves? Look for sports camps, theater camps, book clubs, etc. – there is SO much more of this than when we were kids and it can be great for helping intense kids find their niche!
Anonymous says
I have a nephew like this. He found his people outside of school in a Dungeons and Dragons club. He is now in college. He doesn’t have a close circle of friends who all live in on the same hall and eat dinner together every night the way everyone did when I was in college, but he doesn’t really seem to want that. He is in much closer contact with his parents than I’d expect for most college kids, but they say he’s content and doing well. He’s just wired differently and as long as he’s happy, that’s okay.
anonM says
Anon, this sounds hard. My friend is a middle school social worker, and her advice on this sort of thing is that so long as kids have some close peer relationships, it can curb a lot of isolation/bullying at school. She says she sees it with kids with close cousins, church friends, sport friends — basically as long as they feel seen by someone their age, they can ignore a lot at school. I hope that takes some of the pressure off of finding school-specific friends. I don’t think this is a sign of failure as a parent, some kids just take longer to meet their people!
Anon says
this was kind of me at age 12. i had a group of friends and i was ditched. my parents were VERY social and i think it was very hard for them. my biggest advice is to toe that line between being supportive/encouraging, and making your kid feel bad. i think i would’ve been much more confident in myself if my parents backed off a bit, instead of asking me every week if i wanted to invite so and so over, or telling me i should make plans, etc. a part of me felt like i maybe could’ve been content watching tv on a saturday night, but the message i got from my parents was that was the ‘wrong’ thing to be doing. that was definitely not their intent. hang in there, parenting is hard.
Anon says
This was also sort of me– I didn’t really have trouble making friends, but due to some middle school girl stuff, I was dropped from my primary group of friends. My former BFF (who had some stuff going on, like her dad had just died) started refusing to hang out with me and badmouthing me to our mutual friends. She was more extraverted, so she ended up with that friend group. I eventually made a new group of friends through activities I was in. And yes, I know she complained about me to others because people would actually tell me, “Wow, you’re not as annoying as A said you were” and things to that effect. She also admitted the same to me later in high school when we hashed out all of this and made up. Activities were helpful for me in making friends and also echo the suggestion that my mom was a very good friend to me.
EDAnon says
Basically the same thing happened to me. I strongly encourage finding somewhere outside school for connection (sports or not – I know people who still maintains friendship via D&D). I was in a non-school sport. I wasn’t super close to the girls on the sports team, but we were friendly and we participated in the sport together well. What helped was knowing that I had that group to be social with when folks at school sucked (and vice versa though school sucked way more often than sports did). Almost no one on the sports team went to school with me which was key.
Anon at 10:25 says
Same experience for me. Honestly, most of my sports friends were “frenemies” more than friends and the subculture in the sport from coaches on down could be very toxic, but just having another social group was key in those really tough years. And I did have one good friend from the sport. She lived 2.5 hours away so we didn’t see each other much, but I do recall sleeping over at her house a few weekends, and those weekends were a lot of fun and gave me good memories to hold on through difficult times. I also came of age mostly pre-internet and I suspect if email and texting had existed back then, I would have talked to her more regularly via those communication methods. I think that’s one silver lining of the pandemic, that friendships that are mostly virtual are more socially acceptable?
I didn’t go to sleepaway camp except to sports and academic camps that were only 1-2 weeks each and with different kids every year so I never made lasting friendships there, but I think more traditional summer camps can also be good for kids like this. I knew several girls whose besties were camp friends that they reunited with every summer.
Anonymous says
+1 for summer camp. When I was in middle school my family relocated from a large city where I’d attended a magnet school to a suburb where everyone attended the zoned schools which had no gifted program or honors classes. The rest of middle school was pretty brutal socially. I was bullied in class in front of the teacher and actually got in trouble for being bullied because I must have asked for it somehow. I found a good group to eat lunch with but didn’t hang out with anyone outside of school until I got to high school and made real friends again. I survived middle school by holding on to the knowledge that at the end of the year I’d be back among my people at summer camp.
Anonymous says
Co-sign this. Don’t convey the message that your son is somehow defective because he’s not Mr. Popularity at school, or push him to invite kids over to the house. But do encourage him to pursue his own interests; that’s where he’ll make genuine connections with other kids.
My extremely extroverted in-laws are STILL “encouraging” us to be glad-handers like they are. Dad once gave me a copy of a book called “How to Work a Room” and is constantly trying to recruit my husband for Rotary. We have plenty of social connections and the parental units just do not understand our more introverted ways. It’s kind of sad that they still can’t accept their son for who he is.
anon says
Fair point. I’m pretty introverted myself so part of me has worried that I haven’t encouraged him enough to do things with people!
Anon says
i’m the anon at 11:12 and just wanted to add that in college i made plenty of good friends who i’m still friends with today
EP-er says
We moved when my son was starting third grade. It was so, so hard to break into the elementary school friend groups. Everyone else already had snow day friends or half day friends or whatever. It did get a little better in middle school, when multiple elementaries merged in one new school… but then COVID. So just a lot of commiseration. I encourage my kids to lean into making friends through extracurriculars/school clubs. He loves scouting and has some good friends there. Honestly though? His friends don’t get together in person — they hang out on the computer together. Keep encouraging him to find his people — they really are out there somewhere!
Anon says
your post is a great example of how everyone’s situation/experience is so different. my family moved when I was starting the third grade and I quickly made a ton of friends, but struggled a lot more in the middle school years.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Thank you for sharing this – my kids are toddler and preschool age so it’s always good to see what the big kid problems are like. This is so hard; and I get it because I also felt like an outcast until late HS, and then I found my peeps in college. I literally read “How to Win Friends and Influence People” as a tween because I wanted so bad to be popular (and let’s be real – have a hot boyfriend).
Sending you and your lovely son love and comfort. He’s lucky to have a parent like you that is actually thoughtful about this (vs. “he’ll grow out of it!”), and because of that I’m sure he’ll find his way.
anonM says
Favorite healthy snacks for yourself? I’m trying to be a bit more intentional with WFH snacking. Here’s mine:
-hardboiled egg with dijon mustard
-avocado with salsa and sour cream/greek yogurt
anon says
Greek yogurt with berries
Veggies with hummus or ranch
Anonymous says
Convince me I don’t need a Dyson kids’ vacuum. I have 18 month old twins and a 5 year old.
Anonymous says
How about a real Dyson cordless for the 5-year-old so their play actually picks up some dirt?
anonM says
Don’t. Or get it resale. I’m all for encouraging kids to help clean, but they’ll love a water spray bottle and rag or small broom, etc.
Anonymous says
The reviews make it look like it doesn’t really work. And if it does actually work, ew gross giving kids access to the dust compartment.
Tea/Coffee says
We had one and DS loooooved it. Great idea for a semi splurgy gift if a birthday is coming up.
Otherwise get an old school swiffer, the dry one. The handle comes apart in sections. Take a section out of the handle (put it somewhere safe) to make it kid sized. Add a cloth wiper and voila!
Also, when they grow out of it, just add the extra handle section back on.
Anon says
My kid uses the real one. If you need something smaller maybe a dust buster?
Aunt Jamesina says
My (real, adult) cordless Shark vacuum weighs almost nothing and my four year old niece asks for it when she comes over! Way better than spending money on a toy that has limited use.
Anon says
My 5YO has used a Shark dust buster for 2 years now (and can also wield the remote for our robot vac with ease), which actually works, vs. the kids dyson that doesn’t really. At the 18 month age, we got her the fisher price maybe? corn popper which she used to pretend to vacuum.
Anonymous says
We got a Bissell 3-in-1 stick vac when my son was that age. It actually works! Is lightweight and very inexpensive.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Please! Talk to me about speech therapy – anecdata, suggestions, any of it.
DS #2 is ~20 months, and while he has words (mostly 1 syllable, a few 2 syllable), and a few small sentences e.g. “I did that”, “Right there”, he still babbles a lot – calls a lot of “b” things ba/baba, and just then some babbling and whispering of words generally. We’re in PT right now for gross motor – and it’s going well – but want to keep my eye on this in case. I hate to compare but DS #1 was much more verbal, would repeat words on demand (DS #2 has a very firm mind of his own…sigh), and generally still has a pretty solid (to me) vocab. Sometimes I also just feel like DS #1 doesn’t give DS #2 a chance to respond to things and just jumps in…
Anonymous says
Have you brought this up with your doctor? Sentences at 20 months sounds perfectly fine to me.
Anon says
What does your ped say? That sounds on track for 20 months to me especially if comprehension is there. There’s a hugely wide range of normal at that age and saying a variety of words plus short sentences seems within it. So does babbling; I think that’s just fun for little kids.
OP says
I haven’t raised this to ped yet as the focus has been gross motor, but I do plan to at the 2 year appointment to make sure we’re tracking accordingly. I will say he had 1 word at 1 year, and then a few more by 18 months, etc. so was chugging along when the ped saw him last.
We had a neuro consult as well around gross motor, and at the time, the neuro was good with where DS #2 was verbally. Thank you – I just worry because…well, he won’t do it consistently and/or on demand, but this could also be personality.
Anon says
I definitely think not doing things consistently or on demand is a personality thing! My kid also has zero interest in saying things when asked but can do so.
For what it’s worth, these are the CDC two-year milestones on language that they list on their site and it sounds like he already meets them:
“ Points to things in a book when you ask, like “Where is the bear?”
Says at least two words together, like “More milk.”
Points to at least two body parts when you ask him to show you
Uses more gestures than just waving and pointing, like blowing a kiss or nodding yes”
Anon says
every kid is different. i have twins. one was a total chatterbox by age 2, and the other was much closer to 2.75/3 when she found her ‘voice.’ now at age 4, they both talk plenty. does DS #2 go to daycare? the reason I ask is you mention that Ds#1 doesn’t give DS#2 a chance to respond, and I’ve heard that kids talk later when they have someone else to talk for them. Does he talk more when DS#1 isn’t around?
OP says
Yes – he absolutely talks more and demonstrates understanding more when he’s not being steamrolled by big bro AND yes he’s in daycare/preschool. This is helpful!
Vicky Austin says
Wow, the twin example is fascinating. I too was a steamrolling #1 and both my sisters found their voices by age 3 and change (if just to stand up to me, ha!).
OP says
I am a steamrolling #1, too! Oldest daughters club unite!
Anon says
I think you’re kid is doing great. Nothing to worry about. With those language skills at that age he won’t qualify for early intervention, your ped probably won’t refer you to an SLP, and while an SLP will take them (if you can get in), they probably won’t recommend much intervention either.
My 2 year old kid has hearing loss and has been in speech since she was an infant. I’ve recommended the Speech Sisters on instagram here before for people, and I suggest them again in your case. They offer easy ways to level up your interactions if you’re worried (I don’t think you need to buy the course, but of course you can). They have always aligned with my SLP. They’re really a great low-level ‘intervention’ that will bridge kids like yours from the typical low-speaking late 1 year old stage to the typical 2 year old speech explosion stage.
Anon says
Ask your ped as well at the PT for their opinion. My kid started speech therapy at 2.5 (referred at 2) because by 2 she still only had about 15 words and no sentences (we’re still in speech therapy at 5, going into K). My guess is your kids are just different but you’re still in the range of normal (and it’s a wide range of normal) vs. my kid at 2.5 was testing in the range for a 15-18 month old. She didn’t really start even talking much at all until 3. She now has plenty of words, just sound production issues which are slowly improving, so continues to be a work in progress.
HSAL says
I say this kindly, but it seems like you rush this kid to therapy? You were concerned about him being behind in walking, and still put him in OT after he started walking, and it just seems like you’re trying to do the same with the speech. Of course raise these things with your pediatrician if you’re concerned, but at 20 months, that level of speech is totally in the realm of normal. I get that you don’t want to be comparing your second to your first kid, but that’s how it looks to this internet stranger. I’m sure he’s doing great!
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
No offense taken, and that is a good perspective. He wasn’t walking at 15 months, and the ped recommended neuro (for general development) and PT evals. When I saw EI would take a bit, I looked into a private PT assessment and here we are.
Other background: He was born on-time with no complications, but had low birth weight, and I had our then-ped make a very stark recommendation for his care, after a series of “off” feeling recommendations, and we switched practices to get a second opinion, which has been much better overall. The initial ped sometimes lives in my head rent-free (I struggle with anxiety) so it is helpful to just get a gut check sometimes.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Correction: Our then-ped made a very intense recommendation, after a series of “off” feeling recommendations. Ugh!
Anon says
I agree. Especially since I think you’ve said you have anxiety (no judgment, I have had anxiety issues too) it seems like this is maybe a manifestation of your own anxiety issues more than anything else.
Also (and I know I might be flamed for this) but it’s my experience that PTs and OTs overdiagnose. I get that it’s their job to spot issues and they are hyper aware of deficiencies in a way many peda aren’t and that can be a good thing in some cases. But it seems like many OTs think if your kid is below average in something they need therapy, and that isn’t really how doctors typically approach things. By definition half of people are below average at any given skill. And even if your child is way below average, like bottom 10%, it isn’t necessarily a problem. Not everyone can be great or even good at everything. I have a kid who walked at 18 months. Her ped was confident she would walk eventually and she did. We never sought out any therapy. Could we have maybe gotten her walking a couple months earlier with therapy? Probably. Does it matter? No. Therapy comes at such huge financial and logistical cost for most families, and I feel like a lot of therapists kind of pray on and take advantage of natural mom anxieties about whether kids are developing normally (don’t even get me started on momfluencers who want to sell you a “course” for everything.)
Anon says
That sounds pretty normal to me. That was basically how my kid was, and I don’t think of her as a “late” talker. Kids babble because it’s fun. A sentence like “I did it” almost seems kind of advanced to me (not all 2-3 word phrases are “sentences” – but that one is).
Anonymous says
Does anyone have any advice about explaining to my 21 month old his allergies? He is switching daycares and at the current center everyone sends their own food in so this so hasn’t really come up yet but at the new daycare they provide all of the meals and snacks, many of which he cannot eat. I just don’t think he’ll understand why he can’t have X snack that day. They provide like 3 options at snack so he will always be able to have the fruit/veggie. He is not anaphylactic so I’m not super worried but I almost think I have to look at the menu each day and tell the teachers exactly what we can and cannot eat everyday from what they’re serving and provide alternatives, is that what others do? I don’t see them proactively doing it for snack but when I mentioned it to the director she thought they only served yogurt occasionally but I got the menu and their are dairy items 3/5 days a week.
Anonymous says
I would sit down with the teachers once and go over all the snack options. Then it’s their job only to offer the safe ones and to repeat “you can’t have the yogurt because you are allergic to milk” until he catches on.
This is your chance to build a healthy attitude in your kid and a positive relationship with the day care staff and other parents. Be firm and matter-of-fact about your kid’s needs, but don’t be unnecessarily dramatic and be mindful of minimizing the burden on everyone else. Do not be the peanut mom in my daughter’s class who insisted on dictating exactly what every other family sent in for class parties, then ostentatiously dumped our contribution into the trash in front of my daughter even though it was what she’d asked for. Instead, be the mom of my childhood friend who simply sent along non-dairy milk for Girl Scout campouts without making a fuss and reminded parents not to give her kid ice cream at birthday parties.
Anonymous says
Sounds like you’ve got some bitterness to handle
Anon says
Peanut allergies and dairy allergies are very different though. A kid with a severe peanut allergy can go into anaphylactic shock from being near peanuts. A kid with a dairy allergy isn’t going to get sick unless they themselves consume dairy, and even then it’s not a life-threatening allergy. My kid has no allergies but our schools are “no nuts” and I don’t really care. So I don’t really have a dog in this fight. But I think you’re being a little unfair to Peanut Mom in terms of dictating what the class can bring. It makes sense for dairy to be treated less seriously because it’s a less serious allergy.
Anonymous says
“No peanuts” is one thing. “I must be the room mom every year and we must have a class party with food and my child must be able to eat all of the food so it has to be the exact item and brand I specify, but then when you bring what I tell you to bring I will throw it out” is another thing entirely. Why not just have a no-food party if it’s really that big a deal? Peanut Mom is just a clingy drama queen in general and exploits her child’s allergy for attention.
Anon says
Ok fair enough, she sounds high drama. But your counterexample of “good” allergy mom behavior was a mom who just sent alternative food for her own kid without asking anyone else to do anything differently, and I’m not sure that’s realistic for a peanut allergy the way it is for a dairy allergy.
Anonymous says
You’re paying for this! No he doesn’t just get fruit they can buy a coconut yogurt for him.
Anon. says
Your daycare should have a process in place for how to handle a food allergy, especially if they’re serving food.
My oldest has an egg allergy. He has a different colored placemat for meal and snack time that reminds the teacher about that. The kitchen and teacher have a list of which foods they serve aren’t safe for him and a replacement option when needed. We’re all constantly talking about ‘You can’t have this muffin because it has eggs in it. You are allergic and it will make you sick.’ or some similar script.
Anon says
At our school, rooms with allergies either have allergy tables or are just have a total ban on the allergen depending on the age of the kids and type of allergy. It is not our director that manages this– it is someone else in the administration. I would try to figure out who that person is.