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It’s raining highly-rated washable pants for work! We’re featuring one $51 pair over at Corporette proper today, but these NYDJ trousers (featuring NYDJ’s “famously flattering lift-tuck technology to help flatten the tummy and lift the rear”) are also highly-rated, also machine washable, and also on sale as part of the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale. Nice! They’re available in gray, black and a brown “ganache” for $75 during the sale — they’ll go back to $114 when prices go back up on August 8. NYDJ ‘Michelle’ Stretch Ponte Trousers
Check out our roundup of washable pants for work if you’re on the hunt.
(L-all)
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
AIMS says
I tried a pair of NYDJ pants once and they were frump-tastic. I felt like I aged 20 years instantly.
CPA Lady says
Same. I just must not have the body type for them, because I’ve heard people rave about them. But I felt like I was wearing the mom jean version of corduroy pants. Like I’d always have to wear a really long shirt because I didn’t want people to know my pants came up above my belly button.
Meg Murry says
I’m pretty sure they’re designed for people like me, who have a spare tire/muffin top post baby. I don’t love that I wear “mom jeans” – but they are the only thing that really works for my mom bod. If I’m not wearing a long shirt to cover up the fact that my pants come up past my belly button to try to hold some of that in, I’m wearing a long shirt to hide the fact that my upper belly is trying to sneak out of my pants and show you a very unflattering muffin top, and if my pants are looser they are falling down to be low riders on my hips. So I’m pretty much on team “all long shirts, all the time”.
That said, I haven’t found a pair of NYDJ that I liked enough to even pay the sale $70 price for, let alone the full price for. Every pair I’ve tried on had something about them that made them not worth the price to me – I never found a combo of wash/color/cut/size/fit that I loved enough for the price. But I’ll probably be reconsidering them now that my go-to work pants are showing their age, and Jones New York is no more (RIP).
anon says
Same. The pockets were too big and too low on me, despite my generously sized posterior.
TK says
Never tried them on, they may look great but I just can’t get past the name. For similar reasons I could never shop at “Dress Barn.” Why call out that you specialize in ‘mom jeans’ or conjure images of livestock when you’re marketing a product to women?
Pogo says
@buffybot, thank you for the Embryo Hunger Games comment. That made me laugh!! Hugs to you as you head into IVF.
I got 38 freaking eggs. NO WONDER I was so bloated! Of course who knows how many are mature, will fertilize etc. See above re: hunger games.
But, I’m back at work and feeling mostly fine, though sore. I’m feeling good about FET being a month out, because it will give me some time to recover and I have travel coming up for work so the time should fly. It really is crazy to think if the first FET works it’ll have been two full years of ‘trying’ (15 months on our own and 9 months of treatments!).
buffybot says
38!!!!
Whoa that is a lot. Glad to hear your update, and glad that you are feeling mostly fine. Fingers crossed that you escape the threat of OHSS and that you end up with lots of viable embryos.
This is a pretty isolating and heartbreaking process, but honestly? My clinic was so crowded on Tuesday that I began to wonder if anyone in this city is managing to do this the old fashioned way. Children of Men is real, y’all. Just hoping the outcome in November doesn’t tip us towards The Handmaid’s Tale…
Pogo says
I love the continued references to fictional dystopian future societies.
Good luck to you. The tiniest things make it so tough – like my niece telling her mom she’s sad because she’s the only one in her class (of two year olds!) without a cousin. I want to be like, we are trying!! You and Baby Pogo were supposed to be less than a year apart and be best buds!
I was pretty bummed about this for awhile, but now husband has tried to make me feel better by saying, “It’s OK, [brother’s kids] will be the cool older cousins who buy our kids beer and stuff!”
Yeah cuz that’s exactly what I want!! haha.
MomAnon4This says
I just had a baby (the old-fashioned way — surprise!) and was like, yeah, being a pregnant in the Age of Zika and this particular presidential election is an exercise in optimism.
I didn’t have any first cousins growing up. Then my uncle married a divorcee with adult children about my age — 2 years ago. We were all like COUSINS! and they were like, yes, what’s the big deal?! HAhaha
JP says
YAY!!! That is an unbelievable yield! Please post updates as the Hunger Games progresses (I loved that comment, too). I am so happy for you.
Closet Redux says
Any recommendations for books about raising siblings? I’ve heard of the classic Siblings Without Rivalry– is this still relevant? Useful for small children? I want to avoid some of the effects my sister and I have discussed as adults, including feeling trapped in our archetypes (Redux is smart; Sister is creative) and also interested in practical advice about engendering support and cooperation from an early age.
One thing I’ve heard that I like is not to blame the baby for things that effect the toddler. E.g. “We have to leave the park because baby needs to nap” is better expressed as “We have to leave the park because it is time,” so that the toddler doesn’t resent the baby. Any other things you’ve found useful for small children siblings?
rakma says
Just finished reading Siblings without Rivalry, and so wish my parents had this book when my sisters and I were growing up (though we all get along pretty well now) Yes, still relevant, yes, useful for small children and the toddler/baby relationship is directly addressed early in the book. I also found it a really quick read, so worth the time investment.
DD2 isn’t due until November, so I haven’t been able to try it in real life, but I’d still highly recommend reading it.
Meg Murry says
One piece of advice I got that I thought was good was to let the older sibling hear you tell the baby to wait sometimes too – so you say “Baby, you sit right here while Mommy gets big sister her milk” or “baby, Mommy will be there in just a minute, I’m helping big sister tie her shoes”. After all, it’s inevitable that Big Sister will hear you say “wait a minute, I have to do X for the baby right now” or “in 5 minutes after I finish doing X” – so let Big Sister hear you tell the baby to wait too. And my mother gave me the key advice that “if both baby and toddler are crying about something legit, go to the toddler first – because the toddler will know if you went to the baby first, but the baby won’t know the difference.”
Also, I haven’t read the book, just articles about it, but you could look into “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by Carol Dweck – it’s about switching from assuming that people *are* innately smart/creative/athletic/whatever and instead praising working hard toward a goal. So instead of saying “wow, look at you write your name, you’re so smart” or “wow, what an awesome picture, you’re such a creative artist” you instead say “wow, you’ve worked so hard on your letters and now look at how neatly you can write your name, I’m so proud of you!” or “I like the way you’ve been experimenting with different colors in your pictures, your drawings just keep getting more beautiful”.
On the other hand, I’ve worked hard at trying to teach my older son that some things come easily to some people, while other people have to work harder at that thing and vice versa, and it’s not kind to think less of them or make fun of them for it. For instance, math comes super easily to him, and reading isn’t very challenging either – but he’s not very athletic or coordinated. So we talk about how different people have different strengths and how even really smart or talented people like pro athletes still work really hard to get even better.
My sister and I were the same way as you and your sister (I was the one who was good at math and science, my sister was the one who was good with words and people and sports) – but I don’t think we really heard much about it from our parents, we got it more from our teachers and extended family, since we lived in a small town and had overlapping teachers. And my two kids are shaping up to have a similar dynamic – my oldest was obsessed with numbers, counting, and grouping together like objects from an early age (and every single building he ever built with blocks or legos was perfectly symmetrical, every train track must use every single piece and they all must connect, etc); whereas my youngest is much more interested in letters and drawing and the writing center at preschool, and could accurately throw a ball at a target as soon as he was able to pick it up. So far they aren’t old enough to really notice, but I’ll be interested to see how this plays out, because I know the youngest will want to do organized sports, which the oldest thinks are boring and stupid.
But I have to say that despite all that, and the fact that my sister and I were kind of messed up as teenagers (our mother is a perfectionist, and my sister and I were both really hard on ourselves for the things we weren’t good at while striving to be #1 at our strengths) and fought a lot, now as adults we are pretty good friends – even though we are very different people who enjoy different things (and our husbands are pretty much night and day opposites but are good complements to each of us). So even if you don’t succeed in making them besties as kids, it will probably work out all right once they are adults :-)
Closet Redux says
I like that tip about asking the baby to wait while I tend to the toddler, thanks!
Agree that this is complicated! It is true that some people are naturally talented at one thing and others’ talents lie elsewhere, but Dweck’s research is pretty moving, especially as it affects girls. It’s a hard balance to strike and it’s already so hard to focus on effort rather than talent (especially when so many others around us say things that praise talent: “you’re so smart/ creative/ good at x” ) . I’ve read a couple of articles on Dweck’s research and am really trying to implement, and picking up the book might help, thanks for the reminder.
Anonymous says
I just finished reading it on the advice of a friend, and it’s already made things so much better with my 3 year old and 1 year old. This along with How to Talk to Children Will Listen… and Love and Logic (which some people are against) have really influenced my parenting for the better, I’ve found.
And yes, you can see a great description of all the sibling issues that you experience through reading this book, too. Like a little tiny therapy session.
Anon MN says
Currently half way through Siblings without Rilvary and have already been utlizing it with my 2.5 yo and 5 month old. It has been awesome so far. So, yes, I think it is totally relevant for all ages. I’ve been recommending it to everyone I know and really wish I would have read sooner to deal with some same age cousin frustrations that we have been having with our 2 yo. and his cousin.
Prenatal classes says
Question for moms: what sort of classes would you recommend so I’m ready to give birth in November?
I have a six-hour class at the hospital, but due to scheduling had to do it over two days in September rather than the weekly classes. I would prefer to go without an epidural, but I don’t have any philosophical opposition to one. Most of my close friends have horror stories that ended in unplanned c-sections, and my mom’s were amazingly short and easy (if she’s to believed), so I’m not getting great advice about how to prepare. I’m concerned that I’ll be six weeks out from birth and realize the class I took wasn’t enough, but I also don’t want to spend twelve weeks in a natural childbirth class that includes a lot of information I don’t need and preaching I don’t agree with.
What did you do to prepare, and would you have done it differently?
H says
I did the following:
-Breastfeeding class – My sister-in-law was on the verge of becoming a board certified LC and needed hours. I probably wouldn’t have taken it otherwise, but I’m glad I did. It was only for a couple hours one evening.
-Basic childbirth class. I think my husband got more out of it than I did (but it was really good for him). I read all of the books so I didn’t learn that much new information, but she did explain exactly how an epidural works which was helpful because my mom kept telling me it was bad for the baby (it’s not. Not sure if that changed since 1983..)
-Hospital tour – I liked knowing exactly where to go when we arrived.
I wouldn’t change any of those things and would recommend all of them. I personally wouldn’t waste time in a natural child birth class because people have been giving birth naturally for centuries and your body will know what to do. Nothing will prepare you for what labor feels like. You’ll do great!
Anon in NYC says
This was what I did as well. I also took a childcare “basics” class which was mostly common sense but I was really freaked out about how to take care of a baby (so tiny! how do you get shirts over their heads!). The hospital class that you’re taking is probably sufficient for this. I did a class focused on infant CPR and stuff like that, which I thought was useful.
JLK says
If you aren’t used to babies or kids or are feeling extra nervous, I recommend this class.
However, I grew up with 3 siblings, and babysat kids of all ages from age 11-grad school; I could diaper and burp a kid with my eyes closed and have been trained in CPT (adult child & infant) several times though am not currently licensed. DH had never so much as held a baby. I was convinced he would need all the instructions. We didn’t do this class and whaddya know, the man figured out diapers and wipes and burp cloths erc. In about 2 minutes.
None of it is hard, but if you are of a personality that needs confidence/prep/instruction, go for it!
RDC says
+1 on my husband getting more out of the childbirth class. It wasn’t anything super surprising to me, but the whole time his eyes kept getting bigger and he’d lean over and ask, “did YOU know that?!?” It was good for him to have a basic understanding of the process and mechanics, since obviously that’s not something he’d picked up elsewhere. Also, our class included videos, which we didn’t enjoy but at least helped him be mentally prepared; he’s very squeamish and I credit the videos with him not passing out in the delivery room.
Anon says
+1 as well. My husband’s knowledge from our childbirth class gave him the confidence to kick my mom out of the delivery room and avert an unplanned emergency C-section.
Katala says
+1, similar classes although we had a doula and she did a pre-birth prep meeting with bfing, which was great when she repeated everything once baby was here which helped it sink in.
My hospital did a pre-discharge newborn care class which I’m not sure was that helpful but did give a chance to ask questions. The nurses are also helpful teaching you the basics (diapers, swaddling, showing you different feeding positions).
I also did an at-home hypnobirthing course, which I didn’t end up using because 1) I didn’t practice and 2) I was induced a couple weeks early and doula let me know an epidural was much more likely with pitocin. I got the epidural and I’ll probably do that again this time. Doula was awesome, highly recommend looking into one.
pockets says
if you really want to try for an epidural-free birth, I would recommend getting a doula. She would also be able to answer a lot of your childbirthing questions.
Anonymous says
second this.
1. Doula (look for someone that offers that they also attend c-section births -they tend to be less likely to push a certain vision – the Doula should support what you want, not that you have to agree with what she wants)
2. Prenatal Yoga – strengths body in ways to physically endure birth process
3. Hypnobirthing Book and CD – listen to relaxation visualizations as you fall asleep every night + play it aloud in the delivery room – tends to change the vibe with medical personnel
4. read “Natural Hospital Birth” This book was the best balance between low intervention stuff in a hospital setting
MDMom says
I liked the hypno babies home course (did not do hypno birthing, hypnobabies is different).Very relaxing. I just did that and the hospital tour and that was fine (had a 18 hr labor and natural birth). I don’t think anything can really prepare you. On the one hand, you want to go in feeling relaxed and confident. But on the other hand, don’t get too confident that your labor will be fast like your mom’s. What were labors like for your paternal aunts and sisters? My labor was like my mom’s, but my sister’s was like our paternal grandmother’s. I say this because you don’t want to get in a mindset where you think it’s going to be fast and then 10 hr later you’re hitting a wall and it gets hard mentally.
I didn’t have a doula but can see how one would be helpful.
AltaLitGirl says
+3.
I’m due in early January and would like to use as little medication as possible for my baby’s delivery (although I’m sure I’ll want to tap out for an epidural early on given my pain threshold). I got a great referral for a doula from a friend and she has been extremely knowledgeable and helpful in terms of helping me understand all of the various medical and non-medical pain relief/reduction options available (from birthing pools/labouring positions to laughing gas/epidural/morphine). I initially was weary of hiring a doula because I am not committed to being 100% medication free during labour, but my doula has been great about not being judgmental about any of my choices/preferences and has really helped me to explore all of my options.
Also, DH is not particularly confident in speaking up generally, particularly when it involves people who have more expertise than him, and I don’t see him being that person at the hospital who can push back if a nurse acts dismissively about my preferred interventions/options while I am in labour. DH is still going to be a support person for me, and my doula is not going to replace him in that regard but she is to ensure that my pain management preferences are communicated to the hospital staff and are followed insofar as the situation and my baby’s health allows, and she will be providing massage and other non-medical assistance while I’m labouring. It was a bit of a pricey investment to pay for her services, but I have been beyond thrilled to date with her help. Part of what I am paying for is pre-delivery advice, delivery coaching/advocacy at the hospital, and postpartum advice and breastfeeding coaching.
Something to look into for sure if you want to go sans meds (or as little as possible) for your delivery.
quail says
I took the hospital class, read books, and (I know this sounds creepy) watched youtube videos. After going through it, I think the thing that helped the most was reading Ina May Garten books and watching videos of birth. This helped me not freak out while in labor, keep reminding myself that it some point it would end with a baby (and prepare me for what would happen if it ended with a vaginal birth), and gave me confidence that I could labor at home and do a natural birth. I also had a doula, who was helpful to prep and in the moment. I had a very fast labor so I never had to make a choice about an epidural, nor did I have a lot of time to think about my preparation or lack thereof, but afterwards I was like yep, that was pretty much in line with one way I thought this could go (although much faster than anticipated).
EB0220 says
With my first, I did a video series on infant care and breastfeeding that was offered by my employer. It gave me just enough confidence without being overwhelming. I don’t know if childbirth classes are helpful – I’ve never taken one. (OK, I took one Lamaze class before my first arrived.) It is helpful to know about the different phases of labor and how it progresses. If you want to go without medication, I +1 the rec to hire a doula. She’ll meet with you at least a few times while you’re pregnant and will be able to help you understand the process. Also, doulas are really great complements to L&D nurses. I also really liked Ina May’s books to get me in the right mindset. And I had two smooth childbirth experiences (first 12 hrs w/ epidural, second 3 hrs w/o epidural).
Due in December says
If you’re asking about childbirth specifically, I think the 6-hour should be fine. That’s what I did. I came at it the same as you (preferred epidural-free, but ended up being induced and got an epidural when 8 cm. dilated and do not regret it for a second).
I think it’s just as important that your spouse/partner/support person attend the class as you attending the class, if this is also that person’s first childbirth rodeo. I found when I was in active labor I was less likely to think to use techniques covered in the classes unless someone else suggested them. “What do you need” was pretty much the most useless question ever. Also, it helps spark a discussion with your support person about what you are anxious about, what you think you will need, during labor and delivery. For me, that was letting my husband know (a) I needed him to step up an advocate for me with medical professionals if situations X, Y, or Z occurred (he’s very easygoing, low-conflict, and also a medical professional); (b) I needed him to NOT LEAVE ME WITHOUT PERMISSION; and (c) I needed him to sneak me food if I asked for it.
After I did the 6-hour (or so) class, I typed out my notes for my binder because I didn’t like the worksheet organization of the class. This was the way I studied in college and law school–it helped me cement and think through thinks in my mind.
Also recommend reading Ina May (which I found helpful and also highly entertaining!) and listening to some The Longest Shortest Time podcasts if you want to think through worst-case scenarios. But yes, expect things to not go as you expected. I didn’t get the “natural” childbirth I thought I wanted, but many things I was anxious about didn’t happen at all, so that was great!
ChiLaw says
I had a pretty bad birth experience (wanted no epidural, induced, epidural, emergency C, thanks for nothing doula!) and here’s what I would’ve done differently:
— practicing the exercises for dealing with the pain of contractions more regularly, and with my husband. i did a lot of stretching and squats and stuff on my own, but I wish we had really practiced stuff that would’ve been helpful during labor.
— not expecting the doula (or anyone else) to provide *any* advice or guidance. like, i thought that because i had hired her to help with the birth she’d be like “try moving like this” or maybe push on my back or something? nope. didn’t even show up until i’d been in labor for 4 hours or so, and then just sat on the sofa mostly. sometimes gave me pep talks and helped me breathe. but this is why i wish i had really learned the different techniques on my own, instead of relying on her to help.
— memorizing some of the diagrams in The Birth Partner for positions that can be good for labor.
— fought the induction harder. my water broke and they gave me no time for labor to start naturally, and i think it might’ve gone better if i had waited a bit to start on my own. (another thing i thought doula would back me up on, but she didn’t.)
Things I did that I’m glad I did:
— I had a ‘safeword’ that communicated the difference between “ugh this hurts so bad I wish I had some pain relief” and “no seriously get the guy in here to stick a needle in my spine.” When I was able to use that word after like 10 hours of labor, it felt pretty good to have my husband be able to say with confidence, “no, i know she wants this now.”
Good luck! You’ll rock this!
Prenatal classes says
Thanks, everyone! I’ve been fairly doula-resistant, because I’ve heard several stories like ChiLaw or that doulas were not supportive when someone decided they did, actually, want drugs. And also because I like to be left alone when in pain.
Anonymous says
The key is finding the right doula. Ask around for recommendations and look for DONA certification. A good doula will support your birth plan even if it includes getting an epidural as soon as you enter the hospital. They may want to talk to you about different options when helping you make your birth plan but you shouldn’t feel pressured about what to include and they should respect the choices you make.
Even if you like to be left alone when in pain, it can be very helpful to have someone other than your husband to rely on in the delivery room. L&D nurses can be amazing or awful or anywhere in between and you don’t get to pick them.
A doula who knows your birth plan can be responsible:
– for keeping the lights in the room low (sometimes the medical staff will turn them up every time they come in so it’s not just about turning them down once)
– ensure the music that you want is playing, letting medical staff know that you prefer to be left alone when in pain
– refilling ice chips so husband can stay with you
– staying with you when husband needs to use the bathroom/get something to eat
– provide hands on support with breastfeeding
Some doulas do both birth and post-partum work so they will come over to help you with the baby in the early days as well.
GCA says
This was the way I heard a friend describe it: Are you the sort of person who prefers the support and guidance of a personal trainer or running coach? Or are you able to plan and motivate yourself? There’s no right or wrong answer, it’s just a personal preference. I went doula-free, but am pretty easygoing and had a fairly clear idea about what I wanted (preferably no epidural, ended up taking epidural after 3 or 4 days of prodromal labor, would have been ok with emergency C).
We did a one-day childbirth class with hospital tour. Most useful tips were to labor in the tub/ different positions, and knowing where everything in the hospital was when you’re both groggy at 3am and one of you is contracting.
Breastfeeding class would have been useless for me until after baby was born, without knowing what specific issues he had (latch was fine, he was just jaundiced and too tired to nurse, after he recovered LC came round with a baby scale and was a huge reassurance that he was getting enough to eat).
pockets says
I knew I wanted an epidural and was upfront about that with my doula, and then gauged their reactions.
In my experience, a doula for me was a waste. I knew I was getting an epidural, but I was still nervous about having a really long labor before I could get it, or it not working, or whatever. It turns out my labor was super fast and the doula barely got there before I started pushing (I was pushing less than 5 hrs after I got to the hospital – even the delivery doctor was surprised at how fast my body moved). But if you are intent on going without an epidural, a doula is pretty much necessary.
I know this isn’t what you’re asking, but FWIW – there are very few people who go into childbirth with your attitude (epidural not preferred but no actual objections) who don’t end up getting an epidural, even with uncomplicated deliveries. Childbirth is real, pain is hard, and if you’re not dead set against the epidural, it’s pretty common (in my anecdata at least) to break down and eventually get it.
JLK says
This, and babies are positioned differently! I was team no-epi preferred but my main objections were it wearing off/not working/being in so long the baby had side effects. My labor was hard and fast and I went from no contractions to 3 min apart to back to back nonstop by the time I got to the hosptial. I got the epi and went from a hot hot mess to relaxed and settled in 20 min, had the baby <1 hour later (total labor was <6 hours) and she was out in 2 pushes that I didn't feel. My husband was in true awe of modern medicine because he had seen me do the full 360.
FWIW i was also 10 days late and had been super dialated (5.5cm) for a week…baby was basically about to fall out when i went into labor!
NewMomAnon says
I approached labor as “I’m terrified of needles and would prefer not to have one stuck in my back but I’m open to other suggestions.” My doula suggested coming up with a plan regarding meds. We decided that the first stop would be pain meds short of an epi; fentanyl and (if available), laughing gas (it wasn’t available). I hit my “cannot go forward without meds” point after having a contraction that last 30 minutes, after almost a day of hard contractions. I got a shot of fentanyl, which relaxed me enough to fully dilate, and ended up with a v*ginal birth a couple hours later (it was not pain free or easy, but it was the birth I had asked to have).
Also, my doula was really comforting and did recommend different positions, apply pressure to my back, peeled oranges and fed them to me, encouraged me, etc. In retrospect, I wish she had coached me to lean into the contractions, rather than trying to control or manage them – I think I was so tense that it prolonged labor. Live and learn.
Edna Mazur says
For me all the classes, except baby care, for some reason that one stuck…maybe because we practiced on baby dolls…were good for information while pregnant but I forgot everything in them when the time came. First baby was induced but unmediated (water broken and 3.5 hours later I was holding kiddo) and I breathed however i felt like breathing, couldn’t remember what was taught, and definitely had some “what the hell is happening right now, why is this burning” conversations. Breast feeding good to know, but for me at least until kiddo was out and not latching correctly i needed someone there then to show, position, help, etc. For me at least, when breast feeding didn’t start off well all I needed a LC there in the moment to help/show.
CPA Lady says
It also might be worth your while to spend an hour reading about what to expect if you have a c-section just in case it ends up going that way. My kid was breech and my c-section was planned, so I knew to expect that but I didn’t really know what was going to happen beyond “the doctor cuts you open and pulls out a baby”. It seems like everyone expects to be able to deliver v&ginally, so there’s not much info on what to expect with a c-section. Like there’s nothing to worry about, the doctor does everything, so you don’t need any info? Nope, sorry. I still need info.
I found some articles about it because I like to be prepared, and it gave me a huge amount of peace of mind. Things like it’s normal to tremble uncontrollably. I would have thought I was dying or something if I didn’t know to expect that, or that the morphine in your IV might make you a little itchy but you can get some benadryl to counteract the itch if you need it. Or that they strap you down to the table during the surgery. Which isn’t as scary as it sounds but would have freaked me out if I didn’t know to expect it.
octagon says
This! I took a great childbirth class with my husband but in retrospect it didn’t talk AT ALL about what to expect for a C-section, only that some births may require a c-section. I had a textbook pregnancy and expected a textbook delivery, so I was not prepared for a medical situation that required an emergency induction that ultimately required a C-section. I don’t regret the outcome (healthy baby!) but I felt really scared and lost during the whole process, simply because I hadn’t planned for it and was overwhelmed with it in the moment.
Maddie Ross says
I know you’re specifically asking for class recommendations, and this flies totally in the face of that a bit, but just in case others are reading and curious, so they know it’s ok – I took NO classes and it was totally cool. Unlike others here, I was kind of the mindset that no matter how much I studied or how many classes I took or how many notes I made, childbirth was not going to be a class that I could memorize for and ace. I read some things, mostly online articles and other people’s birth stories from different pregnancy websites. I learned where the door for the L&D department was. And I turned the process over in a lot of ways. I knew I wanted an epidural and I was comfortable with interventions if they became necessary, though I wanted to avoid a C-section if at all possible. I know that this sort of doctor-first, patient-second thing is really frowned on by so many people, but I figured that I chose a medicalized birth, I would just embrace it. I also work in an area where I am second guessed a lot on my educated recommendations (sometimes by those with equal education, often by those with less) and I don’t appreciate it and don’t think it’s always helpful. So I guess you could say my personality lends itself more to trusting doctors or professionals as a result. I asked questions about what the doctors were doing and why, but unless it sounded off the wall, I went with it. YMMV, but I just want to put this different perspective out there.
TK says
Same, almost. I did the hospital tour. I tried to take a breastfeeding class but found it so judgmental and absolutist that I left at the break.
I spent a lot of time on the front end finding a doctor I liked and trusted, so I felt like I could unreservedly rely upon her expertise to get the baby out safely, one way or another. She really was great – answered all of my questions (even my emails!) in the months and weeks leading up to baby being born, and she proactively advised me about the unusual aspects of a C section once it was decided that I should go the route of a planned C (e.g. vomiting a little from the pain meds is common, sharp pain the shoulder, baby might look more bloated than a natural birth because they haven’t been squeezed out, etc.)
After baby was born I saw an LC, and on our first ‘date night’ after baby was born, hubs and I took an infant CPR class. Everything we just learned along the way, and the kid is fine.
Elle says
I was also team no epi-preferred, but was willing to trust my body when the time came and not feel bad either way. Baby was facing the wrong way and I had terrible back labor and then she was stuck near the end which required several hours of pushing. So, yes, I ended up getting the epidural. However, I was able to sleep for a bit and make it though a long pushing period without needing a C.
I did the one day Childbirth Class and a breastfeeding class (it was maybe a couple hours…1-2). I also read all the books because that’s what I do. I do recommend both those classes with your partner. Will you remember everything? No, but it’s good to have it not al be the first time you hear something. For breastfeeding, no it’s not going to really teach you how to do it. Use the nurses and an LC when the baby arrives. But, it really helped having my husband hear it and be on my side. He didn’t necessarily read all about it so things to expect were good to have him hear from someone besides me and he was supportive.
I did not do a doula, but I have a partner who I trusted and didn’t feel the need to have anyone else.
One other thing was that I told my husband in advance that if they needed to take the baby away that he was to go with her and not stay with me and he did not need to ask me if it was ok in the moment. She did need to be looked at very briefly after all the pushing and knowing he was with her for those couple of moments was a comfort.
In House Lobbyist says
I took a “hippie” birthing class and loved it. My husband did it too which I think is important because you will otherwise be occupied and won’t remember everything. It was focused on natural child birth which was what I wanted but I ended up with an early baby that was a surprise breech baby so I had an emergency C-section. But before we got to that point, I liked knowing what the normal flow of things were and the option of things you could ask to do later. For example, I let them get an IV line ready when I checked in but I didn’t let them hook me up to an IV until we knew the C-section was coming. Before the class, it would have never occurred to me to question or say I don’t want to do that to a nurse. The class also focused on baby care like swadding and breastfeeding. I enjoyed it and would totally do it again. We also did the hospital tour but it was more scary than anything to me and of course we still forget where to park.
Anonymous says
Best way to say thank you to daycare teacher that is not my son’s normal teacher? Teacher came in after hours last night to let me in because dad forgot his nebulizer.
HSAL says
Small gift card and a nice note.
anon says
I’m sure they wouldn’t expect a gift card, but it’s a nice gesture. Maybe also mention it to the daycare owner/administrators so they know one of their teachers went above and beyond–it’s the kind of thing that would likely get back to her.
4.5 year old and dentist says
Question: My son went to the dentist for the first time when he turned 3. They didn’t do x-rays but did clean his teeth and were super nice. We’ve since moved, and life got in the way, and I’ve finally gotten him another appointment. But this new practice (also mine) said they’re going to do x-rays. Is that normal for a 4.5 year old? Seems a little excessive to me, but correct me if I’m wrong!!
EP-er says
I just took my 4.5 year old to the dentist last week. No x-rays this time, but yes for the appt in 6 months, when she is 5. They said that her molars are just starting to contact, so that is when they get more concerned about flossing between the teeth.
Just remember it is always okay to say “No, not this time!” Especially if your child is good at letting you help brush. (Our dentist said you need to help until 7 or 8, when the child can stay in the lines coloring & write neatly — these are indicators that they have good enough fine motor skills to brush independently.)
mascot says
We had the first set of x-rays at age 4 (pediatric dentist). Our dental insurance covered them. In addition to checking for cavities, they are also looking at spacing in the mouth and how the permanent teeth are situated. Kids usually start losing teeth around age 5-6.
We got a kids Sonicare toothbrush and that has really helped my son get his teeth super clean even if he’s independently brushing (he’s 5).
Exhausted says
When I took my 4 year old soon after her birthday, her pediatric dentist did take xrays to check spacing and potential for cavities. I was surprised too but was told it’s standard at 4-5.
Mrs. Jones says
We had x-rays at the dentist at age 4.
AIMS says
I would check what the official recommendations are. There was an article in the NYT recently about adults not needing xrays every years and dentists still pushing them despite ADA guidelines to the contrary.
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/26/upshot/you-probably-dont-need-dental-x-rays-every-year.html?rref=collection%2Fsectioncollection%2Fhealth&action=click&contentCollection=health®ion=stream&module=stream_unit&version=latest&contentPlacement=24&pgtype=sectionfront
OMP says
Has anyone tried Toppik spray for thinning hair? I’m so embarrassed of how wide my part is – in pictures it looks like a scar on my head – and I’m wondering if this will help. I used to have really thick, lovely hair and PCOS + pregnancy has ruined it.
CLMom says
Yes. Depending on the hair situation, I might recommend it. Perhaps Kat can put us in touch outside of the comments section?
PinkKeyboard says
I don’t have experience with that but from experience, if I use the colored dry shampoo it kind of disguises my (normal) sized part. So that may really help with making you more comfortable day to day. Also, could you move your part? When I switched mine the new one is much narrower than my years old part.
Partly says
Can you try moving your part around if you don’t already? I think it helps with the regrowth.
Exhausted says
I’m at wit’s end. Expecting #2 with a 4 year old daughter. The 4 year old has a hard time staying in her bed in her room all night. She will call for us every 2-3 hours during the night wanting us to hold her, pat her back, get her blanket, etc. Both DH and I are exhausted waking up 4-6 times a night because she’s yelling for us. I hear 4-5 year old sleep struggles are normal but…are they really? Any ideas on how to get her back to bed and self-soothe without us having to visit her multiple times at night?
I’ve been exhausted in my first trimester and have been napping a lot. She knows about the impending arrival of a sibling and is VERY excited. Sometimes I wonder if she calls out to us (mostly me) at night because she doesn’t get enough time with me during the day? I don’t know. Would love any ideas.
Background info:
She sleeps about 1.5 hours every afternoon at daycare.
Her bedtime is roughly 8-8:30 pm preceded by bath, milk, storytime in that order.
She usually gets up around 6-6:30.
Anon in NYC says
I haven’t had to deal with this (yet) but my best friend could have written this post about her now 5 year old (literally, the patting her back, etc.). She’s been struggling with this for a year or two. They’ve tried gold stars, bribes, threats… everything under the sun. You are not alone.
When we (me and my siblings) used to wake up in the middle of the night, my parents would let us sleep on the floor in their bedroom but not in their bed. We would bring in a blanket and pillow, but there was no air mattress or anything to make it more comfortable. I think it was helpful and reassuring to be near them, but they could also get a decent nights sleep. Eventually we all outgrew it. Perhaps you can do enact something similar?
mascot says
Any chance of her cutting the nap a little shorter at daycare? Four years old is old enough to be able to take some responsibility for her own needs at night. Tell her she is allowed to get out of bed to use the bathroom, get her own water, pick up her own blanket that fell out of bed, etc. Once you say goodnight and shut the door, she will see you again in the morning. Then stop responding to her. (A video monitor helps to make sure she isn’t really in trouble). If she escapes her room, silently escort her back. Does she have an ok to wake type clock? It’s not perfect because they sometimes ask if the clock is really working since he hasn’t turned green or whatever.
Also, when we went through a sleep disruption with some bedwetting at that age, our doctor recommended several nights of melatonin dosed at bedtime until the normal sleep pattern resumed. But, I wouldn’t resort to that first thing unless this is recent unusual behavior from a normally good sleeper.
Kids are all consuming pits when it comes to your attention. It will never be enough even if you are touching them 24/7. So don’t beat yourself up that this is caused by you not spending enough time with her.
Anonymous says
Drop the nap. She’s probably so wakeful because she’s not tired enough at night.
Make an effort for each of you to do a special 10-15 minute activity with her every evening so she feels that she’s getting the time with you. (paint a picture together, make paper cranes, play legos, construction paper bracelet etc) I found that quality focused (undivided attention) time mattered more at age 4 than quantity.
EB0220 says
My older daughter has gone through this off and on since she was 2, starting when I was very pregnant with our 2nd. (Oldest is now 4.) We often slept on her floor for part of the night when she was younger. Now, she’ll sleep in bed with us or next to our bed in her sleeping bag maybe once a week, but she’s not allowed to come in until she’s fallen asleep in her own bed and we’re ready to go to bed too.
Anon says
It might be time to drop the nap. Also, make sure she gets lots of active time a couple of hours before bed. My kids sleep best when they are physically exhausted. I also limit drinks right before bed to help eliminate middle of the night bathroom breaks. We do a sticker chart rewarding a full night in bed and after 10 stickers she gets a special treat. But I also allow my kids to come sleep in my room if they need to. My oldest did this until she was about 6 and then outgrew it. And now sometimes I miss snuggling her at night. I am too tired to keep taking children back to bed in the middle of the night. I know that they will eventually sleep all night in their own beds, so I don’t worry about it.
EP-er says
My son was a terrible sleeper until he was 4….and I was pregnant with number 2. No good sleep for 7 years. Anyway, this is what we did: We tried a sticker chart and a bribe. Sleep 7 days without calling for us, and you get a prize! It sort of worked. Then we got a sleep clock with a picture of a bunny sleeping and a bunny playing. Baby bunny goes to sleep when you do, and you can’t get up until baby bunny does. This works surprisingly well, for both of my kids.
I would agree on at least shortening the nap. I know it is hard at day care since they want everyone to lie down, but see if they will only let her sleep for 40 minutes.
JLK says
Our kid dropped her nap at 2.5 and went from waking up 3x/night to sleeping like a rock 7:30pm-7:30am unless she had to get up to pee. Worth it for us!
Anonymama says
First off, minimize interactions when she calls you at night. At most, go in and tell her to go back to sleep, no water, patting, etc. Tell her before bed that that mom and dad need to sleep and get very tired and grumpy if they don’t get enough sleep, so she needs to try to go back to sleep on her own. And yes, drop nap and make her run around outside, should help with sleeping better.
NewMomAnon says
My daughter (2.5) is suddenly telling us all the time that she is cold – including outside in 85+ heat, and when she is wearing flannel long sleeved pajamas in our apartment, which I keep at 73 degrees. She said it last night and I was about to ask if she had confused “hot” and “cold” when her teeth started chattering.
Is this a normal thing? Could it mean something else (one time she said it and what she wanted was a cuddle, not a blanket)? Or should I just dress her more warmly (which would mean sweat pants and a jacket in August)? I’m surprised that it’s just starting to come up in the last two weeks, even though she has known temperature words for months.
PinkKeyboard says
I’d ask the pediatrician. I know thyroid and iron issues can make you feel cold.
Seven weeks says
Just want to thank everyone for the advice you gave a few days ago about constant nausea, especially at work. Wanted to share that in addition to snacking on saltines and such, I also tried out acupuncture on Tuesday. Although I was still nauseous the night after, the next day and today my nausea is almost completely gone. I feel like a new person! It could be complete coincidence or even placebo, I have no idea. But I would definitely recommend it if anyone else is in the same situation!
Anonymous says
Woah, awesome! Glad to hear!