Washable Wednesday: Cable Knit Fit & Flare Sweater Dress

We has an awesome Jupa one-piece snow suit last year. It had detachable booties & gloves and matching hat that was so warm. We are in snow country, so might be too warm for you in DC… It was like this:
http://www.amazon.com/Jupa-Pacha-One-Piece-Toddler-Girls/dp/B013U1QTL4/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1445449799&sr=8-2&keywords=jupa+pacha

Just had a frustrating and unsettling meeting with the county services coordinator for early intervention for my son. I think I mentioned before that Twin A had been diagnosed with low muscle tone (and actually Twin B probably has it, too, and if they diagnosed these things back in the day it’s very likely Mom and Dad, neither of whom have ever been natural athletes, would have gotten the diagnosis too). When we took him in for his full evaluation to qualify for services when he was 13 months, he was found to have a delay in both gross motor skills and speech. On cognitive, social/emotional, and fine motor skills he was at either 13 or 15 months. He’s now had physical therapy for six months and is walking fairly well, which great since at 13 months he was mostly still army crawling. But he hasn’t really progressed with speech at all. He makes a few sounds — clicking his tongue, making T noises, and making lots of vowel sounds — but has never said any words and does very little non-verbal expressive speech (e.g., pointing at things). So he’s now getting speech therapy too. He’s only 19 months so it’s so early and my husband was a very late talker but famously said no words and then suddenly started talking in complete, easily understood sentences of moderate complexity, using articles, pronouns, and direct and indirect objects. He went on to attend a T14 law school and is an accomplished attorney so clearly language is not an issue for him and he was just biding his time until he was ready to talk.

I was just really frustrated with the way the county coordinator talked with me. She kept asking about how I felt and what I wanted. What I want is for my son to get what services, if any, he needs to help him reach his potential, whether that potential is to be at or above normal for his age for his various milestones, or something less than that but whatever is appropriate. Being a lawyer with very little experience with childhood development beyond my own two kids, I have absolutely zero idea of what that means. I read online that most 18 month olds can say like 30-50 words and learn multiple new words daily. And that is so not either of my children. Twin B says one or two words, but not consistently, but he does “talk” a lot by using tone and pointing and is definitely communicating with us very clearly. So is that normal? Is that delayed, too? And really what I want to know is whether we’re looking at a long-term issue or something that will have basically cleared up by the time they’re 5 or so. And I realize that’s hard to tell, but jeez asking me how I feel my son is doing is so completely useless. Why have someone with training in early childhood development here to talk to me if you can’t give me any info whatsoever?

So, yes, venting a bit, but also wondering if anyone else had a kid with similar issues and what your experience was. We’re also thinking of getting Twin B evaluated because while he’s further along than Twin A in many areas, it’s still not clear he’s not delayed in some ways. I’m just struggling with not wanting to be the mom who says “oh, there’s nothing wrong with MY child” and being the mom who says “oh my God, my kid’s not doing X, Y, and Z exactly when my friend’s kid is doing them so I need to get an army of therapists stat!” Meanwhile, the woman from the county wanted to designate Twin B as “special needs” for the county schools right now so he’ll be eligible for services after he turns 3. Given that he knows all his colors and shapes, and can do puzzles aimed at much older children even though he’s just 19 months, I don’t want to stick him with that label. I realize that special needs covers a wide range of abilities, and if he ultimately needs special needs services for anything, I’m happy to have him get that help, but I’m also wary of labeling him now when by 3 this all might be moot. (I don’t think that “special needs” should be stigmatizing, but I do worry that it may be nonetheless once he starts school and I don’t want any teachers having lowered expectations of him because of that label.) Ugh, just feeling really frustrated, worried, and also kind of meta-worried about being “that” kind of mom.

Very silly question for the wise toddler moms out there — how seriously should I take my 2 year old’s insistence that he wants to be a pony, not a chicken, for Halloween? I bought him a chicken costume at Costco, but he refuses to try it on (other than the hat. He’s wearing the chicken hat everywhere.) And now he says he wants to be a pony. Should I throw down the $40 for a pony costume, or is there a way to convince him to be the chicken?

FWIW, he loves both ponies and chickens. And I have no way of knowing if he’ll actually wear a $40 pony costume if I order it. And I didn’t think he actually knew anything about Halloween, but apparently he does. Thoughts?