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This is not a pumping bag, but it does look like a lovely and highly rated baby bag. I like the sedate colors (a dark purpley blue and black), as well as the little details like the lightweight (and easily cleaned) nylon, and the magnetic snap-flap closure. It’s $350 at Nordstrom. Tory Burch ‘Marion’ Messenger Baby Bag
(L-2)
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
short term disability says
Hi all! I work in BigLaw and am in my 30th week. At my firm it is standard for women to get a doctor’s note and go down to 50% on short term disability at some point in their third trimester. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to get a consensus on when the appropriate time to go down is. My doctor has said that she will give me a note any time if I tell her the stress is affecting me. While my pregnancy has thus far been very health (knock on wood), I have been extremely exhausted the past week or so, and can’t seem to focus after being in the office from 8am-5pm. I’m also somewhat concerned about my hours going forward if I remain this tired. My husband thinks I should ask for a doctor’s note at my next appointment (31 weeks). He says there is no compelling reason to tough it out for the sake of toughing it out. I can’t really explain why I’m hesitant to get a note now, except that it just seems too early, which rationally I understand is not a legit reason. If any of you used short term disability before going out on maternity leave, when did you do so and under what circumstances? Thanks for sharing!
Anon says
I have no experience with this issue, but you could always get the note and not use it right away (I doubt anyone is going to call you out on working past the date on it). Better to have it on hand so that if you really hit a wall you won’t have to wait for an appointment with your doctor to get the note. You could also use it and reduce your schedule as much as you are comfortable/need (again, I doubt anyone is going to call you out on only going down to 75% rather than the full 50%), and then adjust later as necessary.
Meg Murry says
Would 50% disability cut your hours requirement by 50%? Or would it only cut your face time/butt in seat time requirement by 50%?
FYI, extremely exhausted doesn’t get any less exhausted without taking more time to sleep. So get the note on record so you can start to get some rest. As you get larger you are going to be sleeping less well – so you will definitely need more accommodation soon. Remember, its not for you, it’s for the baby – exhaustion is not a healthy state to be in.
Does taking 50% STD effect your STD available during maternity leave, or is that just regular paid leave (not STD?) If you start 50% STD at 32 weeks and work until you are full term, that would be like 1 full month of STD. If you are worried about eating into other leave, could you do 75% for the next month and then 50% for the last month?
short term disability says
It would cut my hours requirement by 50% for that period. Taking STD doesn’t impact maternity leave because I have regular paid leave.
Good point about exhaustion not being good for the baby. I think my concern about getting a note at this stage is that I generally present myself to others, especially colleagues, as doing well . I generally do not complain about exhaustion, aches, etc. at work , so I think I am fearful that colleagues will judge me negatively for going to 50% when I generally seem to be doing just fine. I think I just need to get over that.
Pigpen's Mama says
So my take on this is if you need to rest/slow down at work and can, do it. I went out a little bit more than a week before my due date.
One, the chance that anyone will really remember what you did a year from now is pretty slim.
Two, the more rested you are before you have the baby, the better those first few weeks will be.
Three, much better to decrease your work load when you’re starting to feel overwhelmed, rather than fail to make a deadline or forget something.
EB0220 says
Also might be good to check if it starts the clock on your 12 weeks of FMLA (which protects your job while you are gone).
short term disability says
Good point!
Pregnancy Weight says
Heads up, I discuss weight. If this is something that you’d rather not read about, please skip this post.
I’m having a hard time with how much I weigh right now (8 months pregnant). I have always worked really hard to be fit and active; however, as a taller woman with a muscular frame, the number on the scale has always been a bit higher than others, even though my BMI was in the ‘normal’ range. I’m gaining the normal and appropriate amount of weight that a woman should gain during pregnancy and doing all the right things- exercise, healthy eating, etc- but I am psychologically struggling with ‘OMG that number on the scale is so high’.
I know logically that I haven’t gained 20-something pounds of straight blubber and people actually comment that i look like I’ve put on very little weight (tip #1 for looking good while pregnant: be tall), but emotionally it secretly has me really down in the dumps.
I don’t know what I’m looking for- commiseration? Advice, beyond ‘turn around at the doctor’s office and they’ll tell you if it’s a problem so don’t worry about the number at all’? Maybe I just needed to vent a bit.
JJ says
I know where you’re coming from – I’m tall and muscular and I think people would be surprised at how much I actually weigh.
So when I was pregnant, it was pretty shocking to see the number creep up on the scale, even though it was in a normal, healthy range and my doctor wasn’t concerned. In my mind, I knew I was still healthy, but that didn’t change the momentary “OMG!” when I would see how much I weigh. The day I checked in to the hospital to deliver, I almost cried when I saw what the scale said (…which is not rational, I realize).
All that to say, I felt that the entire time I was pregnant with my first. So, I don’t have any great tips to feel better about it. But once I had the baby and started losing the weight (and working out again), I accepted my body as it was and was happy with myself again. I just chalked it up to another side effect of pregnancy, but one that I would have the rest of my life to remedy.
OP says
I swear, the whole recognition that it’s not rational, but still having reaction is EXACTLY what I’m feeling like.
Thank you for reassuring me that it’s possible to feel like myself again.
Spirograph says
This was me, too. I gained quite a bit of weight with both pregnancies (I mean, within a range of normal…started around 150, ended around 200, but I stopped looking at the numbers the last few weeks) and psychologically it was just hard for me. But! I also lost it pretty quickly and bounced back to my pre-kida healthier habits and now its just a memory. This, too, shall pass. But I think it’s really normal to feel down about your weight and appearance during pregnancy, especially toward the end. The glowing pregnancy glory myth is cut from the same cloth as the one that says it’s possible to have it all. It’s OK to let yourself have “bad” feelings!
Spirograph says
And I can’t type on my phone and miss the edit button…
OP says
You’re so right- this too shall pass.
CHJ says
My feeling on this is that there are a lot of aspects of pregnancy that we’re allowed to not like, such as heartburn and insomnia, and big huge numbers on the scale should be one of them. I still remember my sister lying on her side on her living room floor, 9 months pregnant, groaning “I’m a beluga… Look at me, I’m a beluga.” It’s just one of the miserable things about the third trimester!
So, my advice would be to let yourself be horrified at the big huge number on the scale. But also remind yourself that it’s mostly the baby, water, blood vessels, and other things that the baby needs. Unfortunately there’s not much you can (or should!) do about it during pregnancy. Your body is just going to do what it’s going to do. And like heart burn and insomnia, it’s one of those temporary sacrifices we have to make for our kids.
OP says
SOOO true that your body is going to do what it’s going to do!
My pregnancy diet has been much more along the lines of oatmeal/salads/veggies and lean protein than the doughnuts/pizza/takeout variety and based on caloric consumption alone, there is NO WAY that I could have gained this much weight.
Right now I need to accept that I’m probably going to gain around 35 pounds and there’s a chance I may go over 200 (easier than you’d think when you’re 5’9 to begin with!), even WITH regular exercise and a healthy diet.
Anonymous says
Yeah, it was hard for me too. It was just kind of weird feeling like I had always focused on keeping my weight at one number, then watching the scale slowly but steadily creep upward for nine months. It was hard not to feel bad about it, but I tried to focus on having a healthy baby. No real tips but totally understand. Pregnancy is really tough on your body generally and I think it’s ok to feel bummed about that even while being thrilled about the new baby.
OP says
Thank you. I otherwise have had a pregnancy I can’t complain about and fully recognize how lucky I am to have ‘annoyances’ versus ‘problems’. I’m very conscious to not complain in public, but I think you’re right- It’s okay to be bummed about feeling large.
PinkKeyboard says
My only helpful tip is to marry a much heavier husband so you always feel smaller than SOMEONE. Even when your Mother asks if you will fit in the booth at a restaurant (yes, yes I fit). I gained 51 pounds, and I was swelling, so it wasn’t necessarily something I could help. It sucks, just give yourself permission to hate it. If you have a double chin, don’t panic, it will go away!
OP says
Lol! Thanks! Luckily, no double chin (although I still have a few weeks to go), but my husband is one of the tall and lanky variety. I just went above his weight at this weigh-in and that’s part of what bugged me.
MDMom says
It is weird to gain so much weight relatively quickly when your weight has been stable for years. In the end I think I gained 30 lb (maybe a few lb more but I stopped looking after 30) on a very petite 110 lb frame. It was freaking me out at the end when I hit 140. Just roll with it. Accept it as one of many things about pregnancy that you can’t control. If it’s possible to stop looking at the scale at weekly weigh-ins, do that. A lot of it will probably come off fast post delivery. The remainder may stick around awhile. ..
OP says
Yeah, I’m definitely going to stop looking. My provider said to just look to her to tell me if it was a problem at all and just check my weight 2 weeks after delivery and go from there.
Anon says
I am 5’8″ and slim, and gained 50 lbs. Beginning around 7 months people got nervous whenever I went into a store or otherwise appeared in public because I looked so, so pregnant. At some point I just stopped looking at the scale because it really freaked me out, especially during the pregnancy when I didn’t know how much of it was going to come off, and what I’d end up looking like afterwards.
As it turns out, I lost it all plus 15 more within 3 months post partum. So – try to enjoy eating ‘for the baby’ and indulging in things you otherwise wouldn’t. For better or worse, you don’t get to fully own your body for a little while, while it’s on loan to incubate another little person. But you do get it back, eventually – sometimes a little worse for the wear but not always.
OP says
You’re so right- it’s on loan.
That might be another thing that’s so weird about this experience. I’ve always been so in tune with my body- even during pregnancy I seem to be hyper-aware of exactly what position the baby is in or what is going on with so many things. The weight part though- woah. nobody prepared me for this.
layered bob says
I am also 5’9″ and was very fit prior to pregnancy. I thought I’d get over 200 but stopped gaining weight in the last month of pregnancy and didn’t quite make it. I would repeatedly add up the weight of baby-related things to assure myself that it was all “baby weight” – i.e. “eight pounds of baby, two pounds of placenta, two pounds of blood, etc.” And at a two-week postpartum follow-up appointment not only was all the “baby weight” gone but so were five additional pounds, probably from nursing. So feel what you feel but you don’t have to be alarmed by those big numbers.
OP says
You know, I wasn’t totally sure why I was even posting, but y’all are just making me feel so much more normal. Thank you.
Anonymous says
So my stomach is measuring small and everyone thinks I’m about 5 months pregnant instead of 35 weeks. And at my last appointment my doctor raised her eyebrow at me that I’d gained 3 pounds in a week.
I literally had to go to a hospital and get an extra sonogram because I am too small and also I am too fat.
I spent my whole life under the recommended weight for my height (because that’s what I naturally weighed) and have literally had strangers come up to me and tell me I should eat more (I was on a swim team at the time crazy lady at the mall — I was consuming 3 or 4 thousand calories a day). I find myself exhausted, frustrated, pretty much unable to work out and all my joints are killing me.
You cannot win, so you might as well not care.
OP says
oof. Yeah, sometimes you really can’t win.
Pump Q says
I’m looking at pumps covered by my insurance and think I’ve narrowed it down to a PISA or a Spectra S2. As a first-time mom, curious to hear about others’ experience. The Spectra gets some great reviews, particularly on comfort (seems key!), but is newer to the US market and seems like getting replacement parts are more difficult than for Medela, which seem to be everywhere. Any thoughts appreciated!
JJ says
One benefit of Medela being everywhere (and I pumped for 6 months working with both of my kids) is that when you eventually forget some crucial part of your pumping supplies, they’re generally available in most stores. I made quite a few emergency purchases of tubes, flanges, etc. while traveling or while at work.
EB0220 says
I prefer the Freestyle over the PISA (I have both), but I agree with JJ’s point that you can get Medela parts almost anywhere (Target, drugstores, etc.).
RDC says
Ditto on the Medela – I also bought or was gifted a bunch of used parts and bottles, so I think I now have 4 full sets of parts and about a million bottles, which makes it much easier to avoid forgetting (I usually keep a full extra set at work) and gives us a night off washing if we’re feeling lazy. (Understand if you don’t want used parts, but I felt OK using them after sterilizing.) Lots of moms in my neighborhood use Medela so it was easy to come by extras.
ANP says
I seriously considered the Spectra with my 3rd (most recent) child but chickened out and went for another Medela for all the reasons outlined above — works fine (great?) and parts are easier to come by.
JEB says
Agreed about Medela and replacement parts. I exclusively pump, and I’ve had to replace all of the parts (except for the tubes) twice in my 10.5 months of pumping to keep adequate suction. I’ve been grateful to be able to run to Target to quickly get a new set of parts when needed. They’re also easily purchased on Amazon.
been there says
After previously using Medelas, I got a Spectra S2 for my most recent kid. I like it a lot more than the PISA. A handful of my friends who previously used Medelas are also liking it better. But everything the others have said about ease of purchasing replacement parts is true. If you go the S2 route, maybe buy some replacements up front and store a set of what you need at work?
Baby is 9 months and (shockingly) I’m still on the same set of membranes that the S2 came with and haven’t forgotten anything when going to work.
New Poster says
I have a Spectra S2 and found it to be great. I don’t have a Medela but as I understand the main difference is that Spectra is a closed system (as opposed to Medela which is open) and Spectra allows you to adjust both speed and suction independently (not sure if Medela does this)
As for replacement parts I’ve done research on this and there are several hacks you can do. You don’t have to use Spectra parts. The Medela valve fits. You can order extra flanges or different size flanges from Maymom on Amazon, but I’ve found the quality to be so-so. The Spectra S2 also works with Ameda Hygenikit (tubing, flange) which fits right in the Spectra pump and is a closed system like the Spectra. The only annoying thing about Spectra is that the Spectra flanges don’t fit a standard size bottle, so if I use the Spectra flange I use an adaptor to pump straight into the bottle that baby drinks from. The Hygeia brand adaptor works great and costs less than the Spectra adaptors (again from Amazon). Or you can use the Ameda HygeniKit set up (I think $40 on amazon for a dual kit), which takes a standard size bottle.
Anon says
Anyone know if you can use the Patagonia down sweater or puffball jacket or north face thermoball or perrito jacket in the carseat? I have seen some blogs that say yes you can use various of these jackets because they are not thick jackets so they are safe, but I always thought that fleece was about the heaviest you could do?
Sarabeth says
We use the puffball. It’s surprisingly thin for how warm it is. I’ve tested it against my kid in normal clothes, and it works.
JEB says
Car Seats for Littles (on Facebook) has a post about jackets. I find their page to be super helpful in general.
Famouscait says
Here’s something I could use some insight on. I had a miscarriage before I had my son, (who will be 1 in a few days!). My youngest nephew, who is 6, will occasionally reference that event at the most random moments. In the past, this always brought me to tears, even though I know he wasn’t trying to be unkind – it was still just a large source of grief for me. Now, I’m more at a place where it makes me a little sad, a little wistful, but I don’t cry over it.
Today, as I was video chatting with him and my sister, he mentioned it in reference to how exciting it is that his cousin (my son) will be 1 soon, which is “better than the baby that disintegrated, or whatever”. My sister was obviously embarrassed, but I said it was fine, and we just moved on. I’m not upset at my nephew, but I don’t understand why he brings this up? I don’t know if we should have some sort of talk with him to explain better what happened (now that I can talk about it without tears). He’s actually the only one in my family who ever brings it up (see previous: lots of crying) and I know my sister has talked to him about it, but I don’t know whats been said. He’s a very perceptive little boy, and obviously this has made some sort of mark on him. I don’t know what I’m asking exactly – maybe for advice from someone who had to explain this to their own kiddo?
mascot says
1) I’m sorry for your loss.
2) Kids are just beginning to understand death at that age so his understanding of what death means coupled with whatever a 6 year old understands about fetal development and as it all relates to a baby that he never saw? That’s all pretty confusing stuff and can lead to some out of the blue questions and seemingly insensitive remarks as he tries to figure it out. Your sister may be able to help him with his questions with some age appropriate books and/or religious teachings about the afterlife, if appropriate. I’m not sure there’s much you can do to stop him bringing it up completely, although your sister may be able to convince him to ask her those questions at a later time.
hoola hoopa says
All of this.
First off, I’m so sorry for your loss and the indelicate description.
My 6 year old is constantly bringing up deceased family members, sometimes at the most unexpected or awkward of moments or ways. To top it off, the way that babies are made is still also abstract at that age, even when it’s been taught or discussed. To explain to a six year old what happens to a baby who is in their mother’s tummy and never ‘born’ (as they would think of it) would be very challenging.
I agree that there’s probably little that his mother can do to get it to stop completely, but that I’d encourage her to teach him more appropriate language. Often those types of awkward statement comes from lacking the words they need. We’ve also had to verbalize ‘rules’ about when it is and when it is not appropriate to talk about death and lost loved ones, although that’s still hard to grasp and/or control.
There are lots of good books about death (The Invisible String has been healing for our kids, although it may not be optimally aligned to this situation), and I imagine there are some specifically discussing miscarriages and/or helpful tips online for your sister to use.
Meg Murry says
I’m sorry for your loss, and I agree that the description is indelicate.
Did you ever have any kind of funeral or ceremony for the lost baby? Maybe it would help the 6 year old if your family had some kind of ceremony, like planting a tree in honor of “the baby that died before it could be born” or however you want to phrase it.
FYI, I suspect that the 6 year old will probably continue saying things like this, and will probably say them to your son. So you and your sister probably want to develop a clear, consistent narrative for him – because even if he doesn’t say it to you, he might say it to your son, or he might say it to another pregnant woman (I can totally see my kid saying “I hope your baby doesn’t disintegrate. My aunt was pregnant once, but then the baby disintegrated”). Do you wish that it not be brought up again at all with you? Or are you ok with discussion of your loss, just not in such harsh terms? I know some people don’t talk about miscarriage at all, whereas I know some families do talk about their losses (not in a morbid or depressing way, just in a “sometimes sad things happen and that’s why we are so grateful for every day we have” way).
I have friends that lost a baby at 4 1/2 months, and they discussed with a child psychologist how best to talk about it with their older daughter. They wound up making a book for their daughter, and writing about it on their blog. Because they are religious, they talk to the daughter about “her little sister that died and is in heaven now”. Is that something you and your sister would be ok with, or are you not religious?
You can see the book and blog post about the psychologist’s recommendations here (be prepared for tears, I still tear up every time I read it):
http://ouradeline.blogspot.com/2015/06/millies-book.html