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When building my maternity wardrobe, I tried to select a few high quality, versatile pieces that would work for multiple occasions — work, weddings, weekend brunches — and sync with my pre-pregnancy wardrobe. It just didn’t make sense to buy dozens of pieces I’d only wear for a few months.
Emilia George’s Vivian Sleeveless Dress is the perfect investment piece I wish I had. It has a universally flattering A-line silhouette, practical pockets, and a tie belt that will accentuate your growing bump. I particularly love the concealed zipper for nursing and pumping — it doesn’t scream nursing top.
The Vivian is also hand-washable (which I interpret as washing in a lingerie bag on the delicate cycle). I would style it during the colder months with a cozy cardigan or sharp blazer, and during the warmer ones with a bold necklace or patterned silk scarf.
The dress is $189 at Neiman Marcus or Amazon. It’s available in sizes XS–XL.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Leatty says
Moms of spirited children, please send me any and all tips you have for dealing with them.
My 3.5 has always been intense – she has really high highs and really low lows. When she has tantrums (usually because something isn’t going her way), they are nuclear (high pitched screaming, kicking, limbs flailing, etc.). When she was younger, we could redirect her when she was on the verge of having a tantrum, but now the only way to get her to stop is to give her whatever she wants. My husband caves to her more than I’d like, but we’re both doing the best we can with her.
My daughter has gotten increasingly obstinate and combative in the last month or so – for example, over the weekend, when I tried to get her to go inside, she repeatedly ignored me, then took off running INTO THE STREET when I walked toward her to pick her up. When I caught up to her and picked her up, she had a full blown tantrum.
I want to nip this behavior in the bud before she gets hurt or hurts her baby brother, but I want to do so without crushing her beautiful spirit.
Clementine says
I draw a really firm line that ‘You need to be safe with your body. It is my job to keep you safe. That is not safe to X.’
I probably parent differently than most people because some of my first experiences parenting were as a therapeutic foster parent (I’ve written about this before) so I was literally coached by mental health professionals with kids who had some pretty extreme behaviors. I literally have two modes: one – my spirited kid is arguing about something and safety isn’t a concern. For example: I want a cupcake for snack, not a cheese stick. With that, I do the general positive parenting stuff. ‘OH! You want a cupcake! I love cupcakes! What’s your favorite flavor! I wish I had cupcakes too, but right now we have a choice of a cheese stick or an apple. Which one of these would you like? ‘ (Acknowledge the ask/feelings, often go on an imagination adventure with the kids, bring back to the controlled choice that gives them some control.)
However. Kids running into the road/trying to grab at the stove/hitting other people. Firm ‘That is not safe. It is my job to keep you safe. You need to make a safe choice.’ Remove the kid from the situation immediately, put in a safe space. Wait for them to calm and simply keep stating. ‘That was not safe. What do you think could have happened to your body? I need to keep you safe because that is my job. When you are ready to be safe we can rejoin the group.’
Anon says
This is generally my approach too, though like any parent, we’re all humans and i definitely don’t get it right every time. You mentioned above that the only way to get her to stop is to give in…that’s just teaching her that the tantrums are effective. Again, we are all parenting in the midst of a pandemic and easier said than done, but one thing Janet Lansbery helped me learn is that tantrums are a normal part of childhood. They don’t mean you are a bad parent or that you did something wrong. And so as long as your kid isn’t hurting anyone, let them tantrum away. Again, sooooooo much easier said than done and I definitely give in sometimes when i probably shouldn’t bc i just can’t take it at that moment
Anonymous says
Right. Giving in is not away to stop a tantrum. It’s a way to guarantee more of them. You are teaching her it’s a way to get what she wants.
Anon says
Yeah, there were two things I read that were concerning above. One, that she might run into the street. If kid’s physical safety is at stake, we are holding her down. Full stop.
Second was “the only way to get her to stop is to give in.” So don’t get her to stop! Let her let it all out! We have three kids and one has bad tantrums. She would cry for… a very long time. And all the positive parenting stuff wouldn’t work. We’d just let her. It was incredibly unpleasant. She occasionally wet herself (at ages 3 and 4, don’t think she did that by 5?) and now it’s better.
My youngest instead of throwing a major tantrum likes to hit her head against a wall or carpet. But then it’s over immediately and we’ve noticed that she tries to find a place where she won’t hurt herself. She’s actually not my bad tantrum thrower but that’s worrying in its own way, but even that we try to let her do if she’s not accidentally hurting herself. We’ve tried giving her pillows to throw or teaching her to stamp her foot but she’s still 1. All this to say, a lot of kids are throwing big tantrums, and I’d just lean in. Janet Lansbury is good at normalizing these. Also big little feelings on insta has a lot of tips in this area too and I really like them. I wish I’d taken their course when my oldest was having her truly horrible tantrums on a regular basis! (for hope – or maybe not – at the end of the tunnel, her new years resolution this year was No More Tantrums! I was so proud! But also, she’s in kindergarten, so it’s time!)
avocado says
Tantrums are absolutely a normal part of childhood. The fact that your child has tantrums is not a sign of bad parenting, but how you react to those tantrums does have an influence on how they play out in the future. Over the years, I’ve noticed that the kids who have the easiest time growing out of tantrums and defiance are those whose parents set very firm limits, never waver on those limits, and don’t try to reason or talk them out of their feelings. When your child runs into the street, you are absolutely right to pick her up, admonish her in firm and simple terms (along the lines of “I will not let you go into the street. It is dangerous.”), and then hold her or carry her inside without further comment or reaction. If the tantrum intensifies, it’s a sign that the message is getting across. Often the tantrum wave just needs to crest before it can subside. Being overly solicitous during tantrums and other misbehavior is a huge risk factor for (but not the only possible cause of!) having a kid who won’t sit still in a restaurant at age 8.
If you’re worried about being judged by others for your child’s public tantrums, don’t be. If you’re in a situation where tantrums are not appropriate, simply pick your child up and carry her out. Every. Single. Time. It’s a pain, but it’s just for a season of life. If you’re in the grocery store or somewhere else loud and bustling, make sure she’s safely buckled into the shopping cart and go about your business. I can guarantee that many of the other shoppers will understand that you’re playing the long game and will give you a smile of solidarity. If anyone gives you grief, just reply, “Yes, she’s very upset because she couldn’t pull all the soup cans off the shelf. She needs a few minutes to calm down.” Accompany with a rueful smile, shake of the head, and/or shrug.
Leatty says
This is a really great way to frame it. Thanks.
Anon says
I thought this was just part of being 3? Whenever someone says their 3 year old doesn’t tantrum I assume they are lying or at least seriously downplaying their kids behavior (maybe even subconsciously…some people like my mom are just endlessly positive and forget the bad stuff really fast).
I agree that you really want to avoid giving in to tantrums if at all possible – that just reinforces it. There’s nothing wrong with letting them cry it out. We also have a general rule that we will try to accommodate reasonable, polite requests, which helps ward off a lot of tantrums without rewarding bad behavior. E.g., asking for a cupcake for breakfast is not reasonable, and demanding “Bring me a bagel with cream cheese now!” is not polite, but “Can I please have a bagel with cream cheese for breakfast?” is reasonable and polite so we would say yes.
Anonymous says
My son really didn’t have tantrums, at least not like what we’re discussing here where kids get really out of control/screamy/etc. He got upset all the time in classic 3 year old fashion but was more of a whiner. I can think of 1 time in his life in which he was rolling around on the floor crying, and it was so out of character I was genuinely worried he was having a seizure or something. But he’s got other quirks that are difficult to deal with. I attribute this 100% to his personality/temperament; it’s nothing we did. He’s just not that persistent or independent. This won’t necessarily serve him well as an adult, but it made toddler years easier. Hugs to OP, even without tantrums I found ages 3-4 the absolute hardest to deal with.
Anon says
I don’t think you have to be flailing on the floor for it to be considered a tantrum. My kid has never really rolled around on the floor or tried to injure herself or others but I still describe her screaming fits as tantrums. I hear you that kids have different personalities but I still think regular screaming/crying/disobeying is a totally normal thing for most 3 year olds.
Realist says
First, I want to say that most of this is just her being 3.5. Maybe a bit of a personality clash. Boundaries are necessary and you just constantly have to work on ways to figure out how to draw them and enforce them in a way that will work for you and her. No easy tricks, just keep trying all the things.
Second, I am going to blame the pandemic for this and the limited options we have for activities, but I actually had an astrologist read my daughter’s and my chart for fun. I had a friend suggest this as just something fun to do that might give me a new perspective on some parenting issues we are going through. The guy that did it is a family therapist by day, astrology is his side thing. But it was actually really interesting and somewhat accurate?! I’m not going to say that I believe in it, but there was some things that were insightful and interesting about how we might relate to one another. And I’m sure that the family therapy background the astrologist had coupled with what parents are probably going through given my child’s age + pandemic parenting probably colored the astrology reading. Still, it was a fun thing to do and easy to do over Zoom. It gave me a new way to look at my relationship with my child and put my focus on how we relate in ways that I otherwise had not noticed.
I’m not sure I would exactly recommend astrology, but you said “any and all” tips so I am throwing it out there. Maybe my tip is…if you have an intuitive and creative friend that knows you well and is into things like astrologists, hit them up for idea on how to improve your parenting relationship.
Anonymous says
I have a theory that astrologists specialize in saying things that are easy to read your own life experiences into, so this actually makes sense. The family therapy background probably amps up this factor even more.
Realist says
I agree. I think the magic here was my friend that knew me, and also knew this astrologist/family therapist, and was like, “hey, I think this would be a fun thing for you to do!” I don’t think the answer is “when having difficulties with your willful child and pandemic parenting, an astrology reading is the thing to help you!”
Realist says
So. Many. Typos. Ugh! Sorry, on my phone and remote schooling with many interruptions. Which is why I am on here and not working this morning.
Anin says
Uh this is awesome. Can you share the astrologist???
Anon says
Yeah I want to do this!
Realist says
I’m not comfortable posting his information public because he is not online and I just have his personal phone number, but it does look like you can google “astrologer therapist” and pull up some people. If you have a private place I could send info, like a throw away email, just put it here.
Pogo says
Right there with you. Our 3.5yo has had some really epic ones the past few days (at home on weekends he doesn’t nap and by 3pm it’s a total sh*tshow).
Maybe controversial but we installed a door that locks from the outside on his room and shut him in there for time out. Everything in there is childproof and bolted down, so it is safe. Letting him storm through the house and throw things is not safe. He discovered quickly that his get out of jail free card was to say he needs the potty, but both times he did in fact produce on the potty AND he was immensely calmer, so I am ‘giving in’ to that for now (tips welcome – we just recently trained and the last thing I want is for him to start peeing on his carpet as retribution, or having a legit accident because we put him in time out and thought he was crying wolf).
We do 1-2-3 magic and then the timeout is his room. It used to be sitting on a mat by the front door but that has started proving less effective, so the room it is. I believe the book actually says you should use the kid’s room as their cool down spot, anyway. In our case it helps when he’s being destructive (he dumped an entire laundry basket full of clean laundry down the stairs, for example) and really needs to be physically contained. His room also is his safe space, and my husband noted that after we let him out of time out yesterday that he had a library book open and had been reading it.
Anon says
funny/not so funny anecdote on the potty training – i work part time and dont usually work on Fridays, but this past one had to take a call for an hour. Cleared it with DH two weeks prior that he was to watch the kids. He inadvertently scheduled a call during that time due to a timezone issue and asked the kids (2.5 year old recently potty trained twins) to play quietly for 15 min, which they did…but of course they thought that meant not to tell him if they had to go to the potty and one pooped all over the floor and was so sad about it. DH felt terribly. so yea, maybe continue allowing the potty breaks for now…
Cb says
Yes to the potty breaks,it is tricky though. My son often gets crabby and sometimes hits right before he has a poo. Now he’ll take himself upstairs for “privacy” but it took us awhile to realise the correlation between restlessness and bathroom needs.
Pogo says
I had heard about this on another moms forum and so glad I did – in this other mom’s case it was a kid who held his pee and would get increasingly awful behaving. So I was prepared that the leadup to potty could mean a fragile emotional state, and it makes sense! And yeah, he would feel SO bad if he peed himself because we didn’t let him out of his room for it, I really don’t want to do that.
Momofthree says
Maybe too late but we put one of those portable potties with a removable basin in the kids room if they need to pee in the middle of the night (we have a monkey lock so they can’t get out).
Anonymous says
Yessssssssss my child get mad and aggressive when he needs to use the toilet. It’s gotten better over time (is nearly 6) but it’s a THING for him and we are constantly working him learning to notice his bodily cues so he can realize “oh right, I’m a little uncomfortable because I need to pee, I’ll go do that rather than have a meltdown.” At preschool for a while we had them taking him to the bathroom alllllll the time to avoid aggressive meltdowns.
Anon says
I have a 3.5YO spirited child, and while she is my only (so far and her sleep schedule is doing her best to keep it that way), we know a lot of kids (friends and family) and she is very much different. I agree with a lot of the things that have been said. For safety issues, very firm, physical removal or restraint if necessary, immediate time out. For other issues it is a mix of three strategies. One, find ways to say yes. You want to wear shorts and a t-shirt in the middle of winter that you dug out of the out-of-season bin, sure kid, you just have to stay inside all day. Two, we try to give her choices by presenting A or B, but 9 times out of 10 she will either say both or pick C (she’s a delight, I know). We stay firm (unless C is an acceptable option (and a new suggestion), see first strategy) and sometimes she caves and picks and sometimes she has a tantrum and that’s that. The third approach is just that, we let her tantrum. If I really don’t want to listen I tell her that if she is going to cry like that she can go do it in her room. We practice deep breathing exercises which worked well for 2YO tantrums but not so much for 3YO tantrums. Giving in reinforces the behavior, and I hear you and see you that it is so hard with a spirited kid because it is a knock-down drag-out hours of tantruming multiple times a day and you are tired, and your ears and head hurt and you doubt yourself as a parent. Being consistent though has helped a lot, and while the intensity of the tantrums hasn’t changed, the frequency has decreased (to, you know, one a day, let’s be real here). Examples of full blown meltdowns in the last week include putting the puppy (stuffed) she was throwing up to the ceiling in time out, not being able to eat chocolate for dinner, having to eat something other than peanut butter for the third meal in a row, having to wear a sweater to play in the snow, having to take a bath and having to wear clothes to leave the house.
Lala says
I feel the Option C so much! And my kid has a crazy good memory so if Option C was ever a choice in the last year he will remind you about it. :-)
Leatty says
Thank you – your daughter sounds very much like mine. I love her dearly, but it’s so hard at times.
Lala says
I agree with the safety framing below but also wanted to offer a suggestion that has been helpful for us. My 4 year old has also always been intense. There are high highs and low lows and he can turn on a dime which means that we struggled to keep consistent. We started working with a child psychologist that specializes in Highly Sensitive Children and it has been helpful for reframing our interactions with him. His nervous system processes at high speeds/differently and it is our job to help him understand how to regulate. I also note that you said baby brother and my son increased his massive tantrums/hitting/biting, regressions when second child was born (nearly a year ago). Anyway, yes, it could be typical 3 year old behavior but it may be worth speaking with someone.I felt like I had exhausted all the well known techniques.
Leatty says
Thank you. I didn’t even think to look for a child psychologist, but it may be helpful in managing her (and our) emotions.
Anon says
I have a spirited 3 year old daughter who is truly a great kid with the occasional epic (and I mean EPIC) tantrums. When she really gets into meltdown mode, the positive parenting/Janet Lansbury stuff is no longer effective with my child. I try to avoid it getting to that point by using strategies to de-escalate her (getting down on her level, giving her choices, acknowledging her feelings, pointing out the consequences of a meltdown, like “If you want to scream and cry about this, that’s okay but we will miss our change to go for a walk”, etc.). When it does get to full tantrum mode, we generally try not to acknowledge her other than telling her she’s allowed to go to her room and scream and cry all she wants to get her feelings out. Usually, after 10-15 minutes alone, she’s calm and in a more receptive place for hugs and cuddles and talking about her feelings. When it comes to safety, we will physically intervene if needed while trying to talk to her about why, even if it causes a meltdown. It’s not perfect but it works decently well for us.
Anonymous says
I can relate to your daughter. When I’m really and truly upset, I want my family to go away and leave me alone to feel my feelings. If I can convince them to do that, I’ll spend a while crying and watching old TV shows or clean out a closet and then be fine. If my husband hangs around trying to make me feel better, it just makes me feel worse for longer.
Anonymous says
I am just here to give you a hug, and a glass of wine/ cup of coffee. I have 3 kids and my middle was/is some kind of “spirited” or “highly sensitive” or I’m not even sure what. She’s just intense. And I know there are personality clashes in the mix. High highs and low lows. She never really tantrumed, per se, but fought everything I have ever asked her to do, forever and always. She was the only one of my kids for whom those “toddler leashes” would have been useful. She ran into traffic when I asked for her hand. Sprinted across parking lots. Ran the opposite direction when it was time to go anywhere. OMG my blood pressure is going up just thinking about it.
She’s 5 now and the good news is she matured and doesn’t run into traffic anymore. The bad news is that I do, on occasion, still have to pick her up and carry her to get her to do what I need her to do. My 3 year old and my 7 year old never had this sort of behavior. My 3 year old has pretty epic tantrums compared to my oldest, but honestly, after my middle, it doesn’t even hold a candle. I just laugh and let it run its course. Sometimes I take a video because she really is the SWEETEST girl and she’ll never believe it when she’s older.
FWIW my Spirited Child is really passionate about Musical Theatre. She does dance and soccer as well but is ALL IN on the stage performances.
Reading says
How many books do you generally read a year? For this, I’m counting actual sitting down to read versus audio books on the commute. I see such lofty numbers on the main site and it makes me a bit sad because I used to love to read since childhood. Now I maybe get through 10-12 books a year on my kindle with 5 of those usually being in the span of one yearly beach vacation. I easily double that number if on maternity leave. I’m considering trying to find a book club so that I have a goal/deadline. Otherwise, with 2 kids under 2 and as a senior midlaw associate, My evenings are either work, chores, zone out in front of tv or go to bed early.
Related – any books recommendations?
Cb says
I’ve always read a lot but I have strategies. We don’t have a TV in the bedroom so once I’m in bed, I read. I always have a book on the go – often one on the kindle and one in paperback. I always try to have my next great read lined up to reduce the dithering about what to read next. I let myself spend money on books – new releases etc. I read a lot of literary fiction and fiction in translation, but will also read romance. Reading is reading. It doesn’t help with your book number goal, but I find a copy of the New Yorker near my kid’s play area also works, I can read an article when he’s engrossed in play.
Also, there is no shame in audiobooks, those count too. But honestly, maybe this isn’t the reading season of life.
anne-on says
I agree with all of this. I read a LOT and frankly, there was a point in the pandemic where I just could not get into reading. I gave myself permission to read silly, fluffy romance and short stories. Once my brain got back into reading mode I was able to swap in some heavier books, but honestly, reading is reading, read what you enjoy.
I also find it very helpful to have a list of holds/pre-order on my Libby/Amazon account from my favorite authors. If you have a particular genre you enjoy I bet we can make some more specific recommendations, but from recent bestsellers I’ve really enjoyed Anxious People by Fredrik Backman.
AwayEmily says
YES! My pandemic rule is that if a book is making me sad, anxious, or in any way unhappy I stop reading it. I have enough stress, I don’t need books adding more. This means I have read a LOT more romance novels, cozy mysteries, and the like than I would in a normal year. And it is GREAT. I love getting into bed at 9 and spending an hour in a world where I know everything will turn out okay.
I think it’s okay to need different things from books at different times in your life. In my 20s I read a lot of Serious Fiction, and that was exactly what I needed as I tried to figure out who I was and what I wanted to do with my life. Now, books help me escape. I imagine in five years they’ll help me with something else.
Anonymous says
Completely agree. If you’re looking for something that feels slightly heavier than fluffy romance but has a big girl power angle, I loooooved The Bear and the Nightingale series and anything by Naomi Novik.
anne-on says
Oooh yes, the Scholomance series (Deadly Education is the one out now) is FUN and a good quick read. Piranesi was also quicker/lighter than I thought (and I’m sure some deep literary references went over my head, but I don’t really care right now).
AwayEmily says
Love Naomi Novik. I re-read all the Temeraire books in the fall.
Anonymous says
Books should be a source of pleasure not guilt and obligation!
Anon says
I read a lot but honestly I’ve only read romance or chick lit during the pandemic (and early parenting years) and it’s maybe not a good habit? I probably read 50 books a year, but they often take away from my much needed sleep!
Getting them from my library app – Libby, I love you – is my biggest strategy. You only have so long to read them before they disappear and it’s fun to put holds on books you’re looking forward to.
Anon says
40-50 books per year, but I basically didn’t read between the ages of 18 and 28 unless it was assigned for school or work.
Anon says
Adding that one of my favorite recent reads was Friends and Strangers by J. Courtney Sullivan. It’s light and easy to read but not total brain candy. And it’s about a new mom and I really related to a lot of her musings on early motherhood, being a working mom and the division of labor in a hetero marriage.
Anon says
I think 10-12 books a year as a mom of young kids is pretty good? And I say this as an avid reader. Don’t be so hard on yourself! I read books on my kindle that are almost exclusively electronic loaners rom the library, so the 3 week limit is a big motivator. But in pandemic life without my public transport commute my reading has definitely gone down. I’m sure we all have our pandemic things that have made it harder. I try to read a little in bed before lights out every night, it calms me.
I’m also pretty active on Goodreads and get the daily email about my “friends” reading activities, which is a good source of ideas and motivators. It’s also a fun connector as my most active “friends” on there are often people I would otherwise be more like acquaintances at this point, but I feel like we have this special reading bond since there’s not that many in my “friend” list that update frequently.
YMMV I’ve personally never found book clubs appealing. While I read a lot, I’m kind of picky about what it is, and I just hate feeling pressured to reading something other people picked out that I would not have.
Recs: My latest read was “One by One” by Ruth Ware which I liked a lot, and my favorite book in the past year was probably “The River” by Peter Heller which was recommended on the main site. Elin Hilderbrand always if you need a slight step up from reading brain candy.
anon says
I completely agree re: book clubs. I think they’d be fun for the social aspect, but as far as being pressured to read something I know I won’t be into? Pass.
Anonymous says
I feel the same way about book clubs. Also I don’t really enjoy discussing most books. There are a few books where I want to discuss them with someone when I finish, but most of the time it’s like “Yep, that was good [or not good], next book please.”
Anon says
This is also a good point.
Katala says
I’d LOVE to read 10-12 books. I get in 2-3. I was working on the Game of Thrones books throughout my last mat leave and they were so long and took so much attention I probably only read 2 those 4 months. Maybe this leave will be better! My kiddos are 4 and 5 and we have very little outside help beyond daycare. I just don’t have the time to read, and it is what it is. I’m lucky to read 1 book on our vacation, 90% of any vacation is spent supervising kids. I have enough to feel guilty about without piling this one on – someday I will read something other than contracts and term sheets.
Spirograph says
Interesting! I like my book club *because* people pick things I probably wouldn’t have chosen, myself. My book club is loosely affiliated with my church and tends toward nonfiction, social justice, and representation of culturally diverse authors. I view it more as a self improvement project than strictly for enjoyment, although I do usually enjoy the books and discussions.
My now-defunct neighborhood book club was definitely just an excuse for wine and snacks; there was no pressure to actually read any of the books!
TheElms says
1-2 books a year? With a toddler and a pandemic there just isn’t any time and if there is I’m way to tired and I just fall asleep. Also, I read all day at work so even pre-kids I only averaged 6-12 books a year. 14 hours a day of work/reading does not make personal reading pleasurable for me.
anon says
I have been tracking my reading habits for the past five years. Last year I read 28 books. Not shabby at all, but nowhere near my pre-kid productivity. But five years ago, I was exhausted with two little kids and read about one book per month. It’s gotten a lot easier to squeeze in reading time now that the kids are older. My best strategy is to spend some of my lunch break reading for pleasure and to stop the mindless scrolling on my phone. Even 15 minutes a day will get you somewhere.
Anon says
10-12 is probably about what I do or less but I’m trying to read more this year. I think Gretchen Rubin set a goal of reading for 21 minutes a day in 2021 so I’ve been trying to do that so far. My best “hack” for increasing reading is the kindle app on my phone. If I’m waiting on grocery pick up or at the doctor, I can get some time in and it syncs to my kindle. In an idea world, I be in my phone a lot less but I’m not there yet.
Pogo says
Probably 8-12. I mainly read The New Yorker for leisure, but I’ll also pick up nonfiction/memoirs. I just started reading fiction again by joining a book club, which contrary to the opinions above, I am enjoying being forced to read something out of my comfort zone (but I also just started this book club and haven’t been in one for years, and it’s the pandemic and I have no social life).
I used to read a lot more when I had work travel, but I would also try to read business theory/innovation books during that time.
OP says
Thanks for the recs!
I don’t buy books, just borrow from the library (and then get discouraged when they expire in 21 days and I haven’t finished haha). I love romance and chick lit (especially for the vacation reads). Elin Hilderbrand and Liane Moriarty are great and historical romance also (Bridgerton is on the list now). Sometimes I like somewhat darker but still very readable books. Similar to Little Fires Everywhere / Nine Perfect Strangers/ The Commonwealth. I probably should just follow Reese Witherspoon’s book club! The last book I read was Long Bright River by Liz Moore. I tend to like mysteries and thrillers and generally best sellers (not super literary fiction … I started/stopped The Goldfinch seven times before giving up).
I have never been able to get into audio books. I can’t seem to follow them while safely driving so I switched to podcasts on the 45 minute pre-pandemic commute. And we don’t have a TV in the bedroom but have gotten into the bad habit of reading on my phone and/or watching 30 minutes on the Ipad before bedtime, rather than picking up the Kindle.
So any recs based on the above?
Anon says
I HATED the Goldfich too. Did. Not. Understand. the hype.
Anon says
Could not finish that one either.
Cb says
Tonight, use that phone time to navigate to the website of your favourite independent bookstore and buy yourself 5 books you’re dying to read. Pile them next to your bed and begin.
Spirograph says
I also am library-only these days, and thank goodness for my kindle since my library is still pandemic-closed. FYI, if you turn your kindle onto airplane mode, your books won’t return after 21 days. :) I usually load up my kindle with like 8 books, turn on airplane mode, and don’t turn it off until I’ve finished all the ones I want to get to. Of course, this backfires is if my number comes up on a hold I *really* want, and then I might have to sacrifice unread books to download the new hold.
anon says
You can get around this by downloading the library book to your laptop and transferring it to a kindle with a cable, if you don’t want to turn on the wifi. Not that I know this from experience or anything…
BabyBoom says
So this is totally outside what I usually read, but around March/April when I just could not read anything serious I read the Court of Thorn and Roses and Throne of Glass series by Sarah J Mass. Totally fantasy/ romance/ sexy fairies. But it is what I needed right then. It’s highly amusing, and there is a part of the Thone of Glass series that is just like a girl power version of Game of Thornes that I just loved.
For less romance, more in the vein of Long Bright River thriller/mystery – The Guest List by Lucy Foley, The Truants by Kate Weinberg, and Pretty as a Picture by Elizabeth Little. I’m think all three of those came from suggestions of the Fabulous Mrs. Darcy if you are looking for someone that provides book recs!
I agree with everyone that 2 under 2 is not a prime time for reading. Now that my kids are 4 and 5 I actually get a lot more reading in. It gets much better! But if you are reading anything other than kids books now that is an achievement.
I am apparently the only one that loved the Goldfinch! It’s really 2 different books. Once you get past the first part, it turns into something else. And the 2nd part is what I personally love. So I think that is why it has such divergent opinions. Everyone who gave up (rightfully so, the first part is a slog!) in the first part doesn’t see the good part! I read it pre-pandemic when I wouldn’t allow myself to stop reading a book. Now I abandon books all the time. Life is too short and there are so many good books out there to waste time on the ones I do not like.
Anon says
Not the only one, I loved The Goldfinch too. I didn’t even think the beginning was a slog. I think I actually liked the first part more than the second part.
Anon says
Eh, I’m one of the “I hated” it poster above and I read the whole thing. Opinion still stands.
But I don’t think you are in the minority – I am – it was like major best seller/turned into a movie etc. etc.
Anonymous says
I read the Court of Thorns and Roses series, too! I really liked the first couple of them for what they were, but was so over it by the end. I’m not terribly pearl-clutchy, but there’s so much gratuitous, not-terribly-well-written sex in the later books and the characters get frustratingly trite. Still, a worthy fluff read. If you liked that, definitely check out the Daughter of Smoke and Bone series by Laini Taylor.
Anon says
You could start by reading additional books by those authors. Celeste Ng, Liane Moriarty and Ann Patchett all wrote other books, a lot of other books in the case of the latter two authors (although Commonwealth is the only Patchett book I’ve really enjoyed).
Anonymous says
I liked State of Wonder by Ann Patchett. I, in fact, have had it in hardback from the library for a year because it was checked out when the library shut down and I haven’t been to a physical branch since then, and fines are suspended so I’m not in a particular hurry…
Anon says
Oh man that book disappointed me so much. I love anything science- and travel-related and I love Patchett’s writing so I had really high hopes based on the summary, but I thought the plot was completely ridiculous and I absolutely hated the main character. And the ending infuriated me. From looking at Goodreads reviews, I definitely seem to be the minority, but I just hated that book so much.
anne-on says
SAME! Omg I hated everyone in that book by the end! And I truly loved almost every other book of Patchett so maybe it was just me. Then again, I was also deeply annoyed by most of the characters in Commonwealth, so I may just stick to borrowing her newer books…
Anonymous says
PP here and I agree, I hated everyone! But that is separate from liking the book, itself. I didn’t find the plot too holey (except for the very end), and I thought the characters were believable even if they weren’t likeable.
Anonymous says
Wasn’t the point in Commonwealth that everyone was unlikeable? I liked it because despite that i still liked the book. Please try Bel Canto. It was the first Patchett I read
Anonymous says
I disliked Bel Canto so much that I’ve never read anything else by Patchett.
Anonymous says
The food blogger at How Sweet Eats is a prolific reader of bestseller-type books. She posts mini-reviews of what she’s read every month, and she has a book club group on Facebook.
Katy says
Just give up on the Goldfinch.
I was scrolling down to recommend using the library (vs. buying books) because the 21 day count down is HUGE motivator for me to read instead of collapsing in front of the TV. Similarly, every time someone recommends a book to me that I find interesting I put the eBook on hold at the library. Since you can pause holds, I get myself to a spot where I almost always have something to read, which I also find helpful. Finally – read on your phone: not the nicest experience, but having a book with me allows me to read when I might otherwise be doing something else on the internet. (e.g. waiting in the car for curbside pickup)
In the pandemic I have also read more, partly because we started virtual book club. It is low pressure in terms of reading but we do talk a little bit about the book before switching to other things. I think that it helps that we are all over the place and don’t really know each other that well in before times so talking about the book is what we have in common.
I probably read 15 – 18 books since March last year. (including vacay binges).
Check out author: Balli Kaur Jaswal (Just finished the Unlikely Adventures of the Shergill Sisters) or Shari Lapena (The Couple Next Door…. a little bit predictable but fast paced). I also enjoyed this year: Everyone Brave is Forgiven, Stay with Me and An American Marriage.
Spirograph says
I go through fits and starts. I’m in a book club so I usually read at least 12 books/year for that. Depending on how intense those are and my mood, I read anywhere from 0-4 other books in a given month. My goal is to always have a book that I want to read more than I want to doomscroll or watch crap TV (sometimes I still do both, but reading makes me happier). I read on my kindle in bed almost every night for 10+ minutes until I fall asleep, and then squeeze in more reading in the evening, at lunch, or on weekends when I’m in the mood for it.
Some books I’ve enjoyed in the last year:
Veronica Speedwell mystery series
Cormoran Strike mystery series
Arc of a Scythe YA dystopia? series
Daughter of Smoke and Bone YA fantasy series
The Midnight Library (sci fi/fantasy)
Artemis (sci fi)
Station Eleven (pandemic fiction)
City of Girls (historical fiction)
Spinning Silver (fantasy)
The Warmth of Other Suns (nonfiction)
Boys in the Boat (nonfiction)
Dead Wake: The Last Crossing of the Lusitania (nonfiction)
Anonymous says
I just finished The Midnight Library. It was a really light, easy read, which was surprising given the topic. I also enjoyed:
The Night Circus
Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore
My Ex-Life
the Crazy Rich Asians trilogy
Daisy Jones and the Six
Little Fires Everywhere
Big Little Lies
Anonymous says
I would call The Midnight Library closer to magic realism than fantasy or sci fi.
Spirograph says
Yes, you’re so right! I was failing at categorizing that one; I never remember magical realism as a genre, even though I love so many books that fit it. Which reminds me of another one: The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead
Anonymous says
I don’t count how many books I read, and I will quit reading any book I decide I don’t like. I just read what I want to read, when I want to read it. I’d love to join a book club, but everyone I know is part of the cool moms’ clique that already has a book club and is not going to invite me.
Anon says
I also would love to be in a book club but have never been invited to one. We should have a C-moms virtual book club!
Anon says
In a normal year, I am probably around 20 a year, mostly on the kindle, and half of those are on vacation and all are very much binge reads. In a pandemic year I have no time for reading between the cooking, cleaning, and kid entertainment, any spare time goes to sleep. I am a quick reader and my preferred reading genre is sappy romance novels. I am a BigLaw counsel with a barnacle of a toddler (3). My reading happens if barnacle is sick (happy to snuggle in bed and I can read while she watches TV), a random holiday weekend where work is miraculously light and the weather is crummy (in which I read after bedtime until the wee hours of the morning and only sometimes regret it) or on a visit to my family where they play with barnacle, I only have to minimally supervise or intervene and I can get through 1-2 books. When barnacle gets older and can independently read, I expect much like my childhood we will have family reading time and I will read more then. Also my 3 year old has started being interested in chapter books at bedtime (discovered at a stay with her kid-free aunt) and so I have been reading the Clementine series and when we finish that I will switch to Ramona Quimby. It is such a delight to read something that at least has a plot!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Since having kids, I’ve read anywhere from 10-15 books per year. I think 10-12 books a year is great! Don’t be so hard on yourself. FWIW, when I was in law school and then my first law firm job, I read maybe 1 or 2 non school books per year. It just wasn’t the season for reading outside of school/work. I’m sure I’ll get back into reading more when I have more time, but right now, this works for me. I’m reading a SERIOUS IMPORTANT book right now, and honestly, it’s too much and I can’t handle too much more of these this year. I’m going to go back to lighter books. I really like Fredrik Backman’s books – I’ve found a lot of his takes on parenting (not the focus of the books, but in all of them) to be really relatable. Anxious People was my latest.
Bookworm says
I don’t really count as I think that the number of books isn’t a very helpful marker of anything meaningful. If you’re reading short beach reads they go a lot faster than 700 page biographies, obviously.
Anonymous says
+1. I can only get through a small handful of 700-page biographies a year, but that’s what I like reading. Short beach reads don’t often grab my attention.
Anon says
I read 70 paper books last year and so far have read 10 in January. (I have a 3 and 5 year old and am pregnant). Reading makes me feel like myself. If I’m not reading, I am noticeably grumpier and more on edge. I am also a pretty quick reader so this is with 1-2 hours of reading a day. I read every night at bedtime, and when the kids are playing well together – I keep a book upstairs and 1-2 downstairs so one is always handy.
For me, reading books is in my top 5 priorities so I make it happen. It shouldn’t be something to feel guilty about, but you also shouldn’t feel guilty about not doing other things (even chores) to carve out 20+ min a day for reading.
anon says
Yeah, this is me, too. I always read before bed and I try to read on weekend afternoons when the kids (4yo twins) are playing nicely and I don’t have anything pressing to do rather than defaulting to scrolling on my phone.
DLC says
I read 35 books last year (plus another 18 audiobooks). That was the most i’ve Ever read, but I made a conscious goal to read instead of scroll while nursing, after the kids went to bed, and especially after 10pm. (I set limits on my phone so that after 10pm I can basically only answer my phone, text, take pictures or read on Libby). I will also say occasionally the kids run feral while I read (they are 8,4 and 1). I find the Libby app really encouraging because I can track how long it takes for me to finish a book. Telling myself that it will take me 6-10 hours to finish a book makes it seem more doable than saying 3-4 weeks.
I actually started a book club, but not one where we read the same book. Rather we share books that we’ve read to swap ideas for other things to add to our reading lists. And since we are all busy moms it’s not limited to books- we’re allowed to bring up any other media that sparked our interest lately- articles, podcasts, tv shows, movies.
If you want more Bridgerton-like romance, but hotter and sometimes more emotionally satisfying, I highly recommend Sarah Maclean and Julie Ann Long. Also I thought Britt Bennett’s first book The Mothers was great.
Anonymous says
That sounds like an awesome way to have a book club!
So Anon says
I am an equity partner at a small law firm (10 attys) and planning to have a child. I understand that you can get privately procure short-term disability insurance as an employee, but my income comes solely from profit distributions. And those profit distributions are calculated based on hours actually worked, using a multi-year lookback formula. I have no salary. If I’m out for 8 weeks (as I’d like to be), do I need to resign myself to having 8 weeks of “no work hours” haunt my distribution percentage for years? Is there an insurance solution to this?
I have googled equity partners, maternity leave, etc., without success. My firm will not establish a leave policy that “credits” time not actually worked.
Anonymous says
Wait is this regular poster So Anon? Or just someone else using the name?
Anonymous says
Someone else, obviously.
Anon says
Wondering that too!
Pogo says
Doesn’t seem like it… but that was my first thought too!
Not So Anon says
Sorry, OP here.didn’t realize that “So Anon” was a single poster.
mascot says
Is the lookback annualized or quarter to quarter? If annualized, could you try to front-load as many hours as possible before you go out on leave so that the overall effect is lessened? The insurance solution would provide some cash flow during your leave which I guess you could then save to augment any reduction in income going forward, but I don’t think it fully makes up for this once you account for premiums and the fact that STD only covers a portion of monthly income.
OP says
Thanks! That’s a good idea and I’ll plan on it.
Realist says
I was in a similar position (not exactly the same) a few years ago and I resigned myself to having no pay for my extensive maternity leave. I did not plan on this, but my bonus that year was much higher than normal. It didn’t exactly cover my leave, but a lot of it. I was in no way expecting the larger bonus, but it was pretty clear to me that the partners wanted to acknowledge my leave situation and reward and retain me. Since I didn’t negotiate the bonus myself, I don’t have any specific tips.
In your shoes, I would plan on having no compensation. But, when actually pregnant, I would seek out the best ally to discuss my situation to ask questions like “How will my compensation work on leave? How has this worked for other people on leave (if applicable)? Should we consider a policy on this?” So basically, cover yourself but push for something from your firm to see what can be worked out.
For many reasons that I don’t want to take the time to type out, I don’t think that you pushing this issue before pregnancy would work as well at a law firm unless it is truly an issue of retaining you and you actually will leave if they don’t come up with a satisfactory plan for your leave. Dealing with the hypothetical is just different for attorneys. The only exception would be if you have a good enough relationship with a partner that has enough power to push for a leave policy and might actually do so if you asked. Then, you could confidentially discuss your plans and ask them if there is any way that the firm would consider developing a leave policy, either just for you for firm wide.
Every small firm is so different and really depends on the personalities and values of the powerful partners, so YMMV, but that is my opinion.
OP says
Thanks very much for the thoughtful and thorough response. I agree that it’s generally not a good idea to raise the pregnancy issue before a pregnancy materializes. Frankly, I’m only thinking through it now because I need to get the short term disability policy before I’m pregnant so coverage isn’t barred by some exception. Again, I appreciate the feedback. I don’t mind resigning myself to taking a financial hit, I just want to be sure I’m not doing so unnecesssarily.
Anonymous says
I would go in to the negotiation assuming you get zero profit distribution for those months so it will bring down your $$ for the year but seek to have it excluded from future year calculations and the year prorated based on 10 months for future years calculations.
OP says
Thanks!
Anonymous says
+1. Not a lawyer – but this seems like a very fair solution for future years.
So Anon says
Hello fellow So Anon! It sounds like there are two issues here: (1) Can you get insurance to cover a maternity leave as a partner whose income is based on profit, and (2) how will the firm handle the time that you are not actually working. For (1), yes your employer can purchase short term disability with a specialized definition of “employee income” where all of the attorneys would be considered employees and it would look back over a period of a year or two to determine that income. (I work in this specific industry.) Others who have been in a similar spot have given great advice on (2).
Anonymous says
Thank you for the very valuable advice and for being so gracious about my misstep with your name. Your first question is exactly what I was trying to ask. I have followed this site since law school, but I’m a klutz when it comes to the mechanics of posting.
anon says
Primary is having a sale right now. I scored some leggings in the next size up, two of the reversible sundresses for this summer, and a workout tank for my older kid. I’m pretty pleased with myself!
Anonymous says
G-ddammit I just placed a giant order yesterday.
Anonymous says
Ask if they will do a price adjustment! A lot of stores will.
Anon says
Any recommendations for kids furniture at a price point somewhere between PB Kids ($1k for a twin bed) and Wayfair ($250 for a twin bed)? Need durability for active boys, and I’d like it to last through high school – am I dreaming? Should I just shell out for the PB Kids twin beds?
Anonymous says
PB Kids on Craigslist.
govtattymom says
If you want the beds to last through high school, I would go with PB or a local furniture place. I just bought my daughter a $250 bed from Wayfair, and the quality is not good. I bought her new dresser from PB and love the quality. Throughout the house, I have four pieces of furniture from PB, and I’m happy with all of them (great home delivery too). If you are in the DC area, Belfort Furniture is great and has good twin bed options in the $500 range.
Annie says
I think the ikea pine beds are pretty great quality for the price (look for the ones made out of all wood, no particle board).
Annie says
Also – we have a bed from this brand and really like it: https://kdframes.com/collections/beds (see amazon for reviews but order directly on the website).
Anonymous says
This. Ikea solid wood furniture is the answer. Not the particle board stuff.
Anonymous says
We have a PB kids bed and it was way less than that for a twin. I think we spent around $300 on the frame from PB kids and then a similar price point on the mattress from a local furniture store.
Anonymous says
How!? i was looking at the one i wanted this weekend and it is C$1700!
11:47 Anon says
We have this twin bed in white, no trundle. It is currently $399. I just searched my emails and found that I bought it in August 2019 for $319. I don’t know “how”…maybe just because it is simple, and I ordered during a sale? I’d be surprised if it hasn’t gone up in price during the pandemic with furniture being in low supply.
https://www.potterybarnkids.com/products/catalina-bed-and-trundle/
Realist says
Room and board has some basic options under $1,000.
Anonymous says
As suggested above, I would go to a regular furniture store with a variety of brands at a variety of price points. Most of the stores like this are local chains/stores and not national chains. My favorite by far is Nebraska Furniture Mart, but there are not a lot of locations. They Costco also sometimes has good quality furniture for a relatively good price.
anne-on says
In case anyone else needed the reminder, if your kids are going to nursery/school in person you should probably order your valentines cards, like now.
Also, I know the kids get so excited about it but I really freaking hate valentines. It’s another excuse to force parents to find/make/write out those stupid little cards and trinkets that inevitably get tossed. Bah humbug.
Anon says
Also hate the trinkets. “Ugh, how long do I have to keep this plastic crap in my house before I can toss it?”. Let’s all agree to just do the cards! :)
Anon says
+1 I was probably the only preK parent who sent no trinket last year. But seriously, let’s stop making more work for each other and ourselves!
DLC says
yesssss!!! I will 100% sign a c-mom pact for no valentines trinkets!
Anonymous says
Our school banned them because of Covid! So I would check before you send anything in. I am actually kind of sad, this is the first year I was going to do it and I was looking forward to it.
Spirograph says
Ours too! Although I was relieved to take one thing off my to-do list.
Anonymous says
+1. I was so relieved that they reminded us today that they were banned…. since i definitely hadn’t planned to do this (like didn’t enter my mind). My kiddo would have been socially ostracized.
anon says
Ours did, too. I am not sad about it.
FVNC says
Re: the trinkets — I think my kids are unusual in that they don’t get attached to them, so I’ll gather a bunch up before they get used/messed with too much, and save them to re-gift in future years or to put in Easter eggs, etc. I’ve got a bag of stickers, erasers, tatoos, stamps, etc. that I can use for these sorts of things. (I still don’t love the junk, but at least this makes it marginally more useful than garbage.)
Anonymous says
I did mini packs of fruit snacks. No food allergies in my kids preschool class (amazingly) so all snacks are fine. I am sure after 5 years of this I’ll be annoyed, but it’s my first year so we’re excited. We’re actually going all in on v-day this year because we need something to look forward to!
anne-on says
No outside food allowed at school (they do a monthly birthday cake on the first Friday for all classes/kids to avoid birthday food too) so fruit snacks/lollipops/etc. are out. Hence trinket-y things. Though I will say, $1 matchbox cars from Target, trading cards, pencils, and sticker sheets are not nearly as annoying as random bubbles/tattoos/junky erasers/etc. This year we’re going for trading cards, which have been a hit in the past and not too annoying to package up.
Anonymous says
Ha, my feelings about the types of trinkets are the exact opposite. I’d much rather have random bubbles, tattoos, and erasers that are easy to use up or throw away. I hate how they don’t want to play with the matchbox cars and trading cards, but don’t want to get rid of them either.
Oh, for the good old days when we just got candy in the valentines and then gave ourselves tummyaches eating it during the class party, which was just a bunch of treats everyone’s mom sent in and did not involve crafts or Zoom bingo.
Mrs. Jones says
We don’t do Valentines. They are the worst.
Pogo says
I did not know about the trinkets… this is our first year in school. Was not going to trinketize. Also, I was going to have him “make” them (with stickers). Is that Not Cool?
anne-on says
In my experience, if school allows it candy>food>trinkets, and yes, they were almost uniformly given out with valentines (most of the store bought ones include candy or a trinket with the cards, so it’s all part of a set). As a mom of an allergy kid if you do candy/food PLEASE go for lollipops/gummy candy (milk/egg/peanut allergy safe) as it was always so hard for my kid to not happily tear into the treats like his friends did and who doesn’t like Swedish fish/sour patch kids?
Anonymous says
Best tips for eating more veggies other than greens? I eat a good amount of salad and throw spinach in smoothies regularly. But veggie variety is lacking for me. Putting other veggies on my salads would be a good first step. Anything you love in a smoothie other than greens? Part of it is that I’m in the Midwest and the winter veggie selection is pretty so-so. Thanks!
Anonymous says
I think I eat more veggies in the winter because I like roasted veggies and don’t want to turn on the oven in the summer. Butternut squash is my favorite but brussels sprouts, broccoli, cauliflower all good too.
Realist says
The best thing I did for this is to use Green Chef paleo meals (sometimes the keto menus). Approximately half the plate is veggies, and making their recipes really helped me become more adept at adding veggies to my diet.
My other tip would be to take whatever veggie you have, cut it up, toss it with olive oil and salt, and throw it into the oven at 400ish degrees (convection setting if you have it), then pull them out just before they char/burn (10-25 minutes usually). Most veggies are delightful to eat this way, but especially broccoli or asparagus. Add lemon juice at the end or spices in the beginning, as you like. When I’m lazy, I do frozen veggies like this because I don’t have to wash and chop.
Anonymous says
With the frozen veggies, do you go straight from freezer to oven? Or thaw first?
Realist says
I do straight from frozen, though it takes a bit longer to cook. I usually sit the vegetables out fit about 20 minutes while the oven preheats and I run around the kitchen either cleaning up or getting other food ready, so they are maybe a little bit thawed.
Anonymous says
Soups! I do crock pot bean soups semi-regularly and load up with a ton of vegetables. I made a delicious squash soup over the weekend because a squash showed up in my misc produce box delivery. I don’t really like squash, but I’ll buy it again for this: https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/curried-squash-and-red-lentil-soup-351416 (I added extra celery, carrots, garlic and ginger and just used chopped cilantro on top rather than the oil)
CPA Lady says
So, I don’t really like tomatoes (and I know they’re technically a fruit, but whatever), but this tomato soup is SO GOOD and so easy.
https://www.americastestkitchen.com/kids/recipes/creamy-dreamy-tomato-soup
Anon says
Roasted crispy broccoli (grapeseed oil, salt, roasted at 400 until it just starts to char) is like candy to me; I will often pick at the pan until it is half gone before dinner is even served. I also discovered this year that carrots sliced on the diagonal and also roasted the same way are excellent and good carrots are easy to get here. I went from eating no carrots to eating them twice a week.
We have been doing a lot of hellofresh (where I discovered roasted carrots; they had always been raw or steamed for me) and they do a lot of bowls consisting of rice, veggies and a sauced meat item (typically ground or meatballs). When it is all mixed in, I find the family is more inclined to eat the veggies with fewer complaints. They also have a couple of recipes for veggie forward flatbreads which have been fun and a nice change of pace.
GCA says
We love roasted broccoli; the kids will swing by and sneak broccoli off trays after I pull them from the oven, which is marvelous but means I need to roast 3 heads of broccoli to have enough left for the actual dinner.
I also like to reverse-engineer vegetable preparations off the Sweetgreen menu and similar chains: Roasted broccoli with lemon and garlic, maple sriracha brussels sprouts, sheet pan carrots with a sprinkle of cumin and paprika…
anon says
Soups and adding them to dishes I’m making already. For example, last night we had ziti with spinach, which shockingly, even my veggie-resistant kids were okay with.
Anon Lawyer says
I find making a fritatta or strata at the beginning of the week to eat for breakfasts really helps. You can throw in whatever veggies you have (I like broccoli and gruyere as a combo) and then you started your day off with at least a serving.
DLC says
I put beets (cooked), and carrots and cucumbers in my smoothies (not all at once, though) and then add dates if it gets too bitter. There is a red velvet cake smoothie I like that is beets, cocoa powder, carrots, dates, cashews, vanilla, and oats.
My go to veggie side when i’m Uninspired is just cut up carrots and cucumbers. Sometimes with hummus.
The best thing I did for increasing veggie intake was getting a Hungry Harvest (recovered vegetable) subscription and meal planning around that.
avocado says
Another vote for roasted vegetables. I love roasted vegetables for so many reasons. They are delicious. They are easy. You can roast different vegetables on the same pan for picky family members. There is no last-minute prep as with stovetop veggie dishes.
I toss my veggies with avocado or olive oil, kosher salt, and pepper and roast them at 425 degrees with parchment on the sheet pan to minimize mess. Squeeze on some lemon, grate on some Parmesan, or sprinkle with chopped parsley after they come out of the oven if you’re feeling fancy. My favorites are asparagus, halved brussels sprouts, broccoli, broccolini, quartered mushrooms with a splash of balsamic vinegar, cubed sweet potatoes, and halved baby carrots. What’s Gaby Cooking recently updated her guide to roasting vegetables, and The Kitchn has an article about roasting frozen vegetables.
ThirdJen says
For on salads – I’ll make a big batch of Cowboy Caviar (black beans, red pepper, little bit of onion, whatever other veg are in the fridge and need to be used up)over the weekend, and dump it on salads all week. I also like cucumber in smoothies – pretty neutral tasting and adds a nice creaminess. Also seconding the “get them in at breakfast” – I will eat this Ottolenghi cauliflower “cake” for an entire week and be sad when it’s gone: https://smittenkitchen.com/2010/10/cauliflower-and-parmesan-cake/
Anon says
I’m ISO a carafe or tin that will hold a bottle of soft-gel vitamins and dispense them one at a time, without needing to pop a cap and reach in. For years, I have unsuccessfully battled my family to remember to close the bottle, and this weekend someone’s carelessness finally put our beloved pet in the veterinary ER for poisoning. It’s time to just prevent the problem instead of trying to teach people, but I can’t find the container I need, and I’m not sure what it would be called. Can anyone help?
Anonymous says
Would a daily pill case work? Google pill dispenser.
Anon says
It might help, and I will probably try it if I can’t find what I’m looking for. I was hoping for something a little more cat-proof, because it seems like the caps of day-of-the-week boxes start to flap open pretty quickly.
Anonymous says
I saw a couple that looked like they are electronic – google MedMinder or Hero Pill dispenser. I didn’t look closely at either. I’m very impressed with your cat’s skills though – it sounds like he or she might be especially good at pill thievery.
Anon says
He’s a crazed fiend obsessed with anything he can eat. I am still sometimes impressed, but it is really difficult to keep up with the arms race.
Anonymous says
I think one of those pill dispensers would work well, especially if you could find one with a lid that fits over the whole thing. Could you also use a powdered formula dispenser? I don’t know how determined your cat is if it bats things around and would think that is a treat dispenser. If people can’t get the lids back on bottles, could they at least close the lid on a small file box to store the bottles in? Is there a less enticing version of the medicine that it’s a gummy/soft gel?
Anon says
File boxes and powdered formula dispensers sound like excellent avenues to google! Thanks!
Realist says
What about a container with some sort of spring-loaded lid. I’m not sure what it is called, but you would have to push back the lid and hold it back to grab the vitamin, and then it will close automatically when no one is pushing it back? I feel like I have seen these, but don’t know what they are called.
anon says
Does anyone here use ThredUp for kids’ clothes? What are your secrets to making it worth it? I’ve perused the site a few times and the prices don’t seem that great overall — like I can do just as well waiting for sales on new stuff. But maybe there’s something I’m not thinking about.
Friday says
I buy a lot of my clothes from ThredUp, but their prices just don’t seem worth it for kids’ clothes. In general, I find ThredUp is only good for buying very specific items that you already know will fit. Their photos and descriptions are sadly lacking and their restock fees annoy me. I generally get my boy’s clothes from Goodwill – he comes home from preschool covered in paint and/or dirt so my bar is pretty low. You might also have luck with a local mom’s FB group or buy nothing group.
Realist says
When I sent stuff in to Thred Up, they just straight up made their own descriptions. I included notes for some Kendra Scott jewelry to help them find description and the necklaces got labeled as something else. It really turned me off of ordering anything from them. Either just say “unknown designer” or verify my description, but don’t start labeling it as Fossil or whatever.
rakma says
I’ve only used ThredUp for special occasion dresses. We had a few events in a close time frame that needed all the bowes and ruffles, so I bought a couple for each kid knowing that if the sizing wasn’t what were used to I’d at least have a backup. I find their pricing for everyday kids clothes to be not worth it.
Annie says
I like swap.com instead. Better prices. I only buy “good” condition or better.
Anonymous says
As my son has gotten older I’ve found online used clothing shopping less worthwhile, but in general I get the best deals on my neighborhood email list, followed by E-bay. I’m only willing to deal with Ebay for coats and snow pants, or for specific items (e.g. I just found the Cat and Jack pants I was going to buy from Target used on Ebay). When he was younger sometimes I got mixed lots that were a good price.
anonamama says
Stroller bunting bags. Great/Useless/Worth it? Any recs? I’m struggling to get the right combo of items to sufficiently bundle up LO for weekend walks and thought this might help and also get us on the road a little faster. 7am Enfant has one on sale for $49, but I could benefit from some real mom insight before purchasing. Thanks!
Anon says
I had a winter baby and never had one because I have very little tolerance for cold weather, so if it was warm enough for me to want to go on a long walk it was probably 50ish (or at least mid-40s and sunny) and LO was fine in regular clothing. I can see how it would be useful if you want to get outside in much colder temps though.
Anon says
How old is LO? If still in a car seat with snap in stroller, the car seat bunting (showercap style so it’s safe) was my preferred for weekends, but it also got a use in the winter for any car rides. On a regular stroller I just bundled kiddo up in sweats, added a hat and gloves and tucked a heavy blanket or two in around her; with so many baby blankets I just kept those as my stroller blankets. We have outgrown strollers, so they now live in the car for chilly winter mornings (back, you know, when we went places).
Anonymous says
+1 to this. I am in Canada (it snows a lot).
First winter: 4 – 7 months ish: in the stroller we used the car seat with the shower cap + the “snowsuit” on the LO + if really cold a fleece blanket. did not use the “normal” stroller attachment much in those months. Same set up in car but without the snowsuit.
if it was a little warmer then snowsuit in the carrier (facing in if too windy). I went walking nearly every day to get the LO to nap unless it was – 20.
By the second winter, it was just full snowsuit in the stroller, with some blankets if needed. He wanted to get out.
if you will be in the 6 – 12 mo age range the bunting bag would be useful if you are going to go outside (and seeing as there isn’t much else to do) $49 seems like a very good investment.
Pogo says
cosign all of this.
Anonymous says
I think this depends on your lifestyle. We live in NYC and commuted to daycare on foot, so we used ours daily and it was 100% worth it. Initially we had a fleece one, and then my husband sewed a down one from a down throw. Pushing a stroller in snow is hell, so if you get a lot of snow you might rather have something to keep the baby warm in a carrier.
Anonymous says
Depends where you live? We live in MD. Used them with our daughter for one winter, have never used it with DS (who is 18m). I just put a blanket on him.
Anon says
Yeah, also in MD and we just put my winter babies in fleece suits and put a blanket over them. I can totally see how they’d be more useful in a colder climate or if you use your stroller daily–we only did the daycare commute by stroller every few weeks so it wasn’t worth it for us.
Anon. says
I got the Skip Hop version as a gift and have liked it, although it doesn’t get a ton of use. My advice is buy it big enough to continue using with a toddler. That’s when it was most useful for me because my toddler refused to keep a regular blanket on his legs. He’d kick and scream about the bunting while zipping him in and then realize that it was cozy and calmly snuggle in once we got moving.
NYCer says
We use a JJ Cole fleece version in NYC all winter (and depending on the year, part of fall and/or spring). Highly recommend. Not sure where you are located, but 7AM is very, very warm (hot).
So Anon says
Flat Stanley in the age of COVID? My kids’ elementary school does flat stanley every year in 2nd grade. My oldest did it, and it was a great project. I happily tapped my sister who was able to take Flat Stanley around to different areas of her city. I received the exact same request for my younger child last week: Send Flat Stanley to someone in a different area with a request to have flat stanley visit different areas of the home and/or town, take pictures, put it together and send it back to the school. Maybe I’m personally overwhelmed, but this seems like a bit much this year. I get wanting to keep things normal, but there is no normal this year. I’m struggling with asking anyone to take this on this year because everyone is overwhelmed, and it would amount to nothing more than a tour of a house. Thoughts on this?
Anonymous says
Does your kid care about Flat Stanley? Is the project for credit?
Anonymous says
I get that this year is overwhelming, but assuming this can be done outside in a Covid-safe way I don’t think it’s a big deal. Why would you have to stay inside when you can take it to parks/playgrounds/outdoor spaces?
Anon says
If the school gives a longer time period in which to do this, and is fine with all of it being outdoors, I would totally do it as a fun activity for my kid and an excuse to actually go do something (just make sure your recipient agrees). Even something as simple as a visit to the park, maybe hiking, maybe a picture outside kid’s school, a picture in the backyard, etc. Also if you have retired folks or childless folks in the family who would be willing to do it, they may be an easier option if you are worried about imposing. Sometimes I forget that people without small children frequently complain of being bored.
anon says
G-d, I hate this make-work type of assignment. It ends up being more work for the parents than the kid. My kindergartener has had several of these “family projects” and I am thoroughly over them.
OK, vent aside, you could still take Stanley to the playground and various landmarks around town. But your house and yard are fine, too. How much does your kid care? If he/she is willing to make a plan for where to go, fine, but don’t turn this into a homework project for yourself.
Anon says
Yes. And not only the parents – all the other adults you send Stanley to! I remember driving around my town with two babies and hopping out and taking pictures with that dumb thing for my niece.
But I also think it can be done safely…take pictures only outside.
anon says
Wait — other people beyond your immediate family have to get involved?! Clearly I’m not up on the Flat Stanley thing, but this sounds torturous and unnecessary. I am such a Grinch about this kind of thing, though.
So Anon says
Yes, the school sends it to someone else that you designate, and that person/family takes Flat Stanley out and around town. It creates a fair amount of work for someone else. The only people that I am comfortable asking to do this are close friends and family, and my close friends and family are pretty tapped out by this point.
Also – the school layers on a heavy amount of guilt and the disappointment that kids feel if their Flat Stanley doesn’t have a great adventure or come back.
Anonymous says
I would be tempted to Photoshop Flat Stanley into existing pictures. But that is also a lot of work.
Anonymous says
Just ask your sister if she’d be cool with it? I’d do this for my nephew no prob. All I do is go for walks.
Anon says
Maybe someone here can take your flat Stanley around town. It sounds like the school is doing a Covid safe version. It’s not asking anyone to travel. Just to send to a far off friend or family to snap a few pics at landmarks in their town. You could probably do this in an hour or less! Most people I know are desperate for something to do with their kids outdoors on the weekends and this would be perfect.
SC says
Seriously, I’ll take Flat Stanley around! Does Flat Stanley want to see some Mardi Gras float houses? Maybe go hiking in a swamp? I get weirdly excited about this kind of thing, and DH and I were just discussing how we need some forced family fun in our lives.
Anonymous says
Yeah I don’t think this is the onerous ask you seem to think this is. I would be happy to do this for a friend. My 3 year old would be super excited about it (I could not believe how excited she was about the balloon we bought at the grocery store this weekend) and it would give us an excuse to get out of the house and spend time exploring new-to-us corners of our town. By all means if you ask someone and they seem reluctant or turn you down, then find someone else. But I think a lot of people would honestly be happy to do this.
Annie says
I think you should run with the COVID theme — flat stanley should care about the pandemic! Put a mask on him, send him to your sister and have her take pictures solely of her house, her yard, a walk around the block, and the local playground if it is open.
ArtKive says
Does anyone have any experiences to share with ArtKive boxes? It looks like you receive a box and send it back when it’s full of your kid’s art. I like the concept but the box price ($39) seems high in case I change my mind. Maybe they are counting on a certain % of people to do that. Would appreciate hearing about experiences, good and bad.
Anonymous says
I’m not sure what you mean by “change your mind”? I would only order this if you already have a large collection of art and have made up your mind that you want it saved in this way.
It does not seem worth it to me, personally. I do photograph most of my kid’s art before I toss it, but I don’t feel like I need professional photos of it. If I want to turn my own photos into a book or mural down the line, I can do that. iPhone photos are now high enough resolution for printing unless you want to blow them up hugely.
Realist says
I’ve done it and been happy with everything but the price. It does seem really expensive for what it is, but they do take really great pictures. I like having the book and digital images. And they do make the process super easy, so I think that is what you are paying for (quality and convenience). Definitely don’t do it unless you are sure that you want to do it and you have curated what will be included. I have always done it at the end of the year for all the school projects that come home, plus a few of the best projects done at home (so maybe 30 or so artworks). I make my own photos of the “mid-tier” artwork, which is probably 100 or so pieces a year, so I could make a book out of those later if I wanted.
I also think part of the reason I do it is my daughter’s art teacher at school has been really amazing and they do really beautiful, interesting art projects all year. For this year, we are remote and have not had art class with the art teacher. So I’m not sure I will do Artkive this year and will probably stick to taking my own photos of the artwork we have done at home.
If the price really turns you off, I think you could get a similar result by getting a photo scanning app (or using a scanner if you have one) and scanning in the art with the best light you can create. Possibly using a tripod thingy if you could rig one up. Then print it up in a book on Shutterfly or wherever. The photos probably won’t be quite as nice as Artkive, but it will be close.
gifts? says
Going to a very small outdoor bday party for a kid school friend. I feel like I’m out of practice. 1. What do 6 year old girls like these days? 2. What can I bring that is not clunky or heavy to carry (party is at an outdoor petting zoo so not sure if there is a place to actually put gifts so I would like something non-burdensome.
Thanks!!!
Anon says
I’m a big fan of sticker books (the ones with scenes that you fill in). Usborne has a bunch, available on Ama zon
Anonanonanon says
Small lego kit could be easy to wrap and put in a purse if you have to carry it around.
Anon says
6 year olds in my daughter’s school are really into LOL dolls, perler beads and other easy craft sets, and “fashion” stuff like scrunchies and charm bracelets. Legos are always a win – they now have a “Dots” line with a more functional approach – things like bracelets, storage boxes, pencil holders, etc.
In House Lobbyist says
Mine is into gel pens, fancy notebooks, mermaid tail blankets, mermaid sequin anything and lipgloss.
N95 or equivalent for kids? says
Does anyone have any idea where to buy N95 or equivalent in children’s sizes?
Anonymous says
Link to follow, but we bought the Bluna Facefit KF94 size small for my kids from Be Healthy. That site sells other KF94 masks too, we just like those ones for the adjustable ear loops. KF94 is the Korean equivalent of the Chinese KN95.
Also, my kids basically never wear this fancy a mask. We have them for trips to the pediatrician or in case they need to actually go indoors anywhere, but for playgrounds, hikes, neighborhood walks etc. they just wear 2-layer cloth ones.
blueberries says
I’ve been meaning to ask the same question! I’d like to get a mask for my kiddo for fire season. I hope next year school will be in person, but I don’t have so much faith that the school system will have adequate air purification.
Here’s what I know: N95 is a US government standard and there aren’t any made for children. Therefore, anyone selling N95s for children is super sketchy.
Cambridge Masks come close in theory, but I’ve found the fit less than ideal for my family (your have to have a close fit for it to really work). Cambridge Masks come with an exhale valve, so they’re not suitable for Covid use unless you also order a (free) sticker set from them to cover the valve. You might still get stinkeye for having a valve, though.
Anonanonanon says
Just seconding that anyone who says they are selling childrens’ N95s is not legit.
Anon says
You can layer a cloth mask on top to deal w/ the valve. That’s what my husband and coworkers do at work. They have work issued N-95s w/ valves.
Anonymous says
You can get N95s in a small adult size that may fit larger children, but I’d be skeptical that a child would wear an N95 correctly. They are incredibly uncomfortable. I’d go with a well-fitting cloth mask with a filter insert.
anonymous says
Look for kids KF94s.
Anonymous says
https://behealthyusa.net/collections/small
Anonymous says
This was meant for the N95 commenter above.
Anonanonanon says
Similar to the line attorneys use, “I’m A fit tester but I’m not YOUR fit tester” but, that being said, I have fit tested hundreds of people (obviously not children) and I find that shape of the ones they have labeled “3D” fits the most face types and might be easier to get a better fit than the ones they have labeled as “2D.”
Also, reallyyyyyy having to stop myself from zooming out and taking in the fact we’re talking about which pandemic masks fit kids’ faces the best. Dystopian.
529s says
For those of you whose children are in a private elementary school: does anyone use a 529 plan to pay for this? How does that work? I had a brainwave over the weekend that the tax changes a couple years ago included allowing these accounts to be used for non-college education, and I’m thinking about whether I should be taking advantage.
529s says
Just to be clear, this would be in addition to, not instead of what we’re putting in for college. I’d use a more conservative asset allocation / earlier target date fund
Anonymous says
Following!
onlyworkingmomintulsa says
Also Following!
Anon says
Totally dropped the ball on getting a birthday present for my four year old niece. What would a four year old girl love from Target? She doesn’t have any super specific interests, other than puzzles.
Anon says
Target has great sparkly small purses. Mine would love that.
Anon Lawyer says
I gave one of those to my niece last year when she was four and she loved it too. It was one of the flip sequin ones.
anon says
My almost 4-year-old would adore getting new art supplies (even something as simple as markers and a coloring book), dress up clothes for her dolls, books, or puzzles.
Anon says
budget? target has everything. so dress up clothes, pretend food, arts & crafts kit, doll accessories if she likes to play with dolls (our generation has cute stuff, my girls got the bathtub for Hannukah), a board game
Anonymous says
A boxed set of Ivy and Bean books.
Spirograph says
In that case, I’d get a puzzle! At 4, frame puzzles are still good, but we also have a couple big floor puzzles with 30-40 pieces that are popular with my 4 and 6 year old.
CCLA says
If she loves puzzles I’d maybe just stick with that. If you want something different, my kid4yo daughter (who also loves puzzles) adores the game memory, which she’s had for a while but didn’t really click until 4. It’s one of my favorite things to do with her.
Walnut says
If you can find a memory game with four of each card instead of two, it’s even better!
Anon says
I am curious if any of you follow Instagram. I fell into the bad habit of following several perfect moms on Instagram. The content is good and appealing but it is NOT my reality and somehow I am left feeling like I am not doing enough for my family. I mean, their kids seem perfectly behaved, they all eat healthy, the house is spotless, the mom is super calm and rested and good looking. I now realize that most of these women are very privileged, not working and have lots of help. How do I stop this habit which is becoming bad for my mental health? What sources do you use to see what is new when it comes to trends in parenting, cooking, clothing etc.
anon says
Ruthlessly unfollow. Those moms aren’t doing anything “wrong,” but if that level of perfection is messing with your own peace and well-being, it’s time to be done.
Also, remember that these women are literally paid to produce that content and make sure their homes and children are looking perfect. They aren’t going to post about the nights when they said eff it, I’m making a frozen pizza.
CPA Lady says
I unfollow. I went through this big purge a couple years ago when I was making some better lifestyle and mental health choices, and now I try to be really aware of how certain things make me feel when I’m consuming them. If I feel bad, I unfollow/hide/snooze immediately. I also hide everyone who makes me feel boiling rage. I hid everyone who is acting like covid is fake and having large unmasked gatherings and splashing it all over socials. I hid my crazy aunt who likes to try to invite me to be one of tr&mp’s “prayer warriors” to pray for the stolen election (what even). Hide. Block. Delete. Unfollow. It’s magical!
And I don’t use any sources to see what is new with trends. I figure if it’s important enough, I’ll somehow find out. I find out what’s trendy in clothes by walking through Target every now and then. I eat the same foods at home, but assume that I’ll figure out what’s trendy in foods by going to restaurants again someday. I don’t care what’s trendy in parenting. There is only what works for my family and my child, as far as that goes. I did join tik tok and that is helping me understand youth culture better, though I’m very aware, as an elder millennial, that I am no longer a part of it.
Anonymous says
CPA Lady, Thank you for sharing about your big purge. You simplified your choices and information sources and it seems so liberating. All these new ideas, trends, contents etc are exhausting and I haven’t even realized it until now. It’s almost like I am afraid of missing something. But you are right-I will find out what is new by taking a Target tour :) Thank you all!
Anon says
i find social media useful for parenting stuff, but I try to follow moms who don’t claim to be perfect all the time. I really like Feeding Littles, Big Little Feelings, Kids Eat in Color and Days with Grey for those reasons. I guess none of them really show trends in cooking or clothing, but maybe that is why I like them. I don’t know your age in terms of fashion or stage of parenting, but for more lifestyle/fashion/cooking I also like Lemon Stripes, Inspiralized Ali and Kelly in the City. I do follow some other mom bloggers on instagram with more ‘perfect’ looking moms and children, but i just remind myself that instagram is the highlights reel, not reality. but yes, unfollow anyone that makes you feel badly!
Anon says
I just don’t see the appeal in following any of these women. Unfollow, unfollow, unfollow.
Replace with following the National Parks Service and Humans of New York :)
Okay, those aren’t related at all to what you asked for but they will be much better for your mental health
Anonymous says
This. My insta is a no kid stuff zone
Spirograph says
Ha, other than my friends, my sole source for new trends in parenting, cooking, and clothing is this s1te. I eschew social media in the interest of preserving my limited free time and my mental health. The social media ecosystem is just… not my scene. So much sponcon, so much airbrushing of the messy realities (I don’t believe for a second that the house is that clean, children are that well-coiffed, and moms are that bright-eyed, zen and #grateful as a typical state of affairs), so many unattainable standards. I’m sure there are pockets that are more realistic and delightful, but I’d rather just muddle through without inspo and search/ask for what I’m interested in when I need it.
Anonymous says
I unfollow. Right now I use it to keep up with my friends and family, and learning about things I want to learn about. At this point follow the following categories only: (a) IRL friends snd family, (b) a couple of athletic trainers and physical therapists, for workout ideas, (c) birdwatching/parks districts/intersectional environmental pages, (d) cookbook authors and (e) some political stuff (my representatives and governor, BLM stuff). Any kind of design, home decor, or parenting accounts do not contribute positively to my mental health.
anon says
Your last sentence struck a chord. I adore home decor and design stuff, and it’s pretty, so really hard to unfollow. But it also makes me feel restless and like my very nice house isn’t quite good enough or would be so much better if I did XYZ. It’s … not great.
I can’t touch 99% of fitness accounts with 10-foot pole because they seem super disordered to me. I also am not physically capable of being small and thin — my actual skeletal frame is not that — so it feels like a form of self-torture to constantly have those images coming across my feed.
Anonymous says
Poster above – I follow a couple of strength training and PT accounts targeted toward men, and that helps me sidestep the body image issues! Because no way am I going to look like a male athlete. I also love trainer kaitlin who is a rather slim person but is not at all about appearance.
Curious says
Roz the diva and Louise Green (BigFitGirl) are both great for breaking that mold! Huge improvement to how I feel about exercise.