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The notch/slit/faux-wrap effect is HUGE right now, and this is one of the few skirts I’ve seen that has the perfect amount of notch/slit/faux wrap. It’s flattering, but interesting, and not at all too leggy for the office. This simple style is also hand washable, available in sizes XXS-L, and is $68. Trouvé ‘Wrap Effect’ Pencil Skirt (L-2)Sales of note for 4.18.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Clementine says
So over the past few months, I’ve used y’all to help us select a carseat, a stroller and baby carriers. I wanted to just give my first reviews (haven’t been using them for that long) as to how all of these items work with a newborn:
Cybex Aton2 Carseat: I hadn’t considered this carseat until posters suggested it and holy cow, we love this carseat. It fit our preemie (who was 6 pounds when he went home) perfectly and is incredibly easy to install with or without the base. It’s also pretty light to carry, which is awesome. Engineer husband is far too excited about this carseat as well and Cybex may need to start paying the man a commission for how many people he tries to sell on this carseat.
City Mini GT Stroller: Super lightweight, incredibly easy to fold and it folds up very compactly. Some people had disliked that there was no facing you option, but with the carseat adaptors (carseat clicks right in and even my sleep deprived new mom self can handle it) baby faces you until they’re out of the infant seat. It’s also narrow enough to make it through narrow store aisles and turns on a dime.
Woven Wrap versus soft wrap versus Ergo: I ended up with a Maya woven wrap plus a borrowed Boba stretchy wrap (like a Moby wrap) plus an ergo baby. The woven wrap was the best for a preemie, actually- it gave more support and was actually easier for me to finagle than the Boba wrap. It also works for older kids and overall is much more versatile. I would have gone with just the woven wrap plus the ergo. Baby is still super tiny for the ergo, but with a snowsuit on plus the ‘comforter taco’ infant insert, it works as long as you watch their head position. I think that if you’re having a summer baby, the infant insert would be TERRIBLY hot and just wouldn’t work.
Baby Clem is finally home after 6 weeks in the NICU and I have never been happier to be awoken by screaming.
AIMS says
So glad your little one is home and all are doing well! Congrats!
I really liked the cybex car seat but was talked into the uppababy mesa one because we wanted to UB cruz stroller and it all works nicely together without need for extra adapters. I was worried Cruz would be too big to navigate (which is why we didn’t want the Vista) but it’s been great so far. I do kind of wish we had gotten the bassinet to go with it because the weather in NYC has been so warm that bundling the baby into the car seat is a pain, but probably not going to worry about it at this point.
A friend is giving me her older City Mini to keep at my mom’s as an extra, so I’m very excited to hear you like it. And another friend is supposed to donate her ergo baby since her child is too big for it now – this I am most excited about! I’ve been feeling a a little confined being at home and the stroller is still a production if I want to take the bus or train or go somewhere with stairs by myself, so I really can’t wait for the liberation of just being able to strap on the baby and go places.
AIMS says
I should add that UP car seat is easy enough to use, but a bit on the heavy side. Also, i hate how they put the brand name right above the baby’s head. Feels like free advertising.
Carrie M says
Thanks for the helpful reviews! I also liked the k’tan as an option for a small infant. The ergo only worked for us from about month 2 (with insert) to about month 7. We didn’t have the 360, but I think it would have worked for longer for us if she could have faced outwards.
So glad Baby Clem is home. That time in the NICU can feel so endless. Give BC lots of snuggles from us!
Msj says
The best Christmas present!! So happy to hear it
And agreed, the woven wrap is awesome. There’s a learning curve but otherwise is great for newborns and even worked for our summer babies. I just never managed to get the hang of back tying (and honestly didn’t try to hard – it was winter and it doesn’t work with a coat) and we ended up graduating to a frame backpack once they got good head control. Not nearly as fashionable but very comfortable and convenient
Katarina says
Congratulations! I love my Ergo after my son was old enough to not need the infant insert, but did not really try it before then, although I had the infant insert.
Anon says
Did you need an adapter for your car seat to work with the stroller?
Clementine says
Yes. They’re two small unobtrusive brackets that cost less than $30 and installed in about 2 minutes.
JJ says
So happy baby Clem is home!!
MDMom says
Congrats on bringing your baby home!
Anonymous says
So glad you are all home!
Anglophile says
Congratulations on bringing baby Clem home!! I echo your glowing review of the Cybex Aton2 Carseat – I was a little wistful as we packed it away this weekend to switch over to the Peg Perego Primo Viaggio SIP Convertible Car Seat. So far I am really liking the Peg Perego – fabric is incredibly soft and the latching system is really easy to get him in and out.
Anonymous says
we have and love the peg perego convertible. My kid is 2.5 and just started forward facing, she’s been in it since she was 8 months old and probably could have gone in sooner but she was doing fine in the infant basket.
EP-er says
Congrats on bringing baby Clem home! It is so wonderful to hear! It was kind of nerve-wracking for me not to have all the monitors, but so nice to not have to ask permission to snuggle. :)
Clementine says
The no-alarms while you’re sleeping is pretty nerve wracking, but as i learned in the NICU: if a baby stops breathing, they turn blue pretty quickly.
Because of that, I’ve developed this ‘eh, he’s not blue, he’s breathing’ attitude.
I am all about the snuggling though.
Anon in NYC says
So glad he’s home!
TBK says
Welcome home Baby Clem! What a great start to the holidays!
Spirograph says
Yay, so glad you’re all home together for the holidays!
So Anon for this says
Help! My 3 year old son is racist. Last weekend at the playground he tells me, “I don’t like black kids.” Mortified! I was so taken aback I just muttered something like, ‘that’s not nice’ and moved on, worried that big reaction would result in him repeating the phrase endlessly. For context, if it matters, there were black kids on the playground but none that had done anything he would be responding to – he saw them from afar.
Hive, please help. I don’t want to overreact if this is just an ‘opinion of the day,’ akin to “I don’t like cheese” or “I don’t like blue anymore.” But I also don’t want to ignore it in case it’s a sign of some message he’s been getting from somewhere else. If he says it again – or even if he doesn’t – what’s the appropriate response to this?!
mascot says
He’s not; don’t panic. This article is pretty interesting http://www.newsweek.com/even-babies-discriminate-nurtureshock-excerpt-79233
mascot says
And wishing for the edit feature- I think a lot of the self-identifying is pretty normal developmentally like the article mentions. My big take-away was that it is good to talk about the differences/similarities so kids don’t think that something is wrong because we are reluctant to bring it up. For all sort of “difficult” conversations, we ask a lot of open ended questions in hopes that we can figure out what facts he knows, what his thoughts are, and then discuss from there. I’m interested in hearing how other parents are handling this.
Anon says
If he says it again, start by asking him why. I was motified when my daughter refused to shake hands with a very dark skinned man at our church. She didn’t say anything so I think it just came across as her being shy. When I asked her about it afterwards, she said she thought he had paint on his hands and that it would get on her hand. It really caught me off guard because our friends group includes people of color with a variety of skin tones but we live in a pretty white area so I think she hadn’t seen anyone in person who was as dark at that gentleman before. Kids are weird sometimes.
Anon says
+1 As someone who is anticipating plenty of these convos with our kiddo (thank you, racist in-laws!) I have already decided that I will just use them as teaching moments (I will be maintaining a zero tolerance policy for racists comments around my kid, but am figuring we will have a couple incidences come up while enforcing said policy). This sounds like a great teaching moment, although I imagine there is something else going on here (such as Anon’s daughter’s perception) and your child is not actually racist. Racism is taught, and it doesn’t sound like this is something you have taught your child.
Spirograph says
I am blanking on the name of a book that had a whole chapter on this recounting studies I found absolutely fascinating. Yes, kids self-identify, and even in totally arbitrary groups (researchers put kids in red or blue shirts for a week), preschoolers tend to ascribe “good”characteristics to their in-group and “bad” to the out-group. The takeaway was that even kids who grow up in diverse environments aren’t colorblind, but actively talking with your kids about how some people look different but are still nice people that you should get to know and might be friends with goes a long way.
But yes, I would have been mortified, too!
Spirograph says
mascot’s article is behind a paywall for me, but the book might have been Nurtureshock. :) In any event, I’ve read that one and recommend it!
mascot says
That’s the book. I think some more articles and advice have come out since then. It’s made me really aware that we need to vocalize our beliefs/moral compass and not just assume that our child will passively absorb them by osmosis.
MomAnon4This says
1. Books! Books with children of all colors, on their own and in diverse groups.
2. TV! TV shows with children of all colors, on their own and in diverse groups.
3. Our President! Whether or not you’re a fan, you can talk about how he’s the first African-American president (or the first half-White president, if you’re so inclined).
4. Questions! “How would you feel if someone said they don’t like someone with yellow hair? Do you not like X (a friend – actual peer friend, not just a helper or employee) who is Black?”
5. History! Age appropriate history books are always age-appropriate. Go to the library this February for African-American history month and any library will have a display to use, heck, even Barnes & Noble will have a display. Talk about how lucky we are to live in a country with so many different kinds of people who have fought for their rights and how this is important to you.
This is probably an opinion of the day. But make being non-racist an important part of your life (if you value it) and your child will see that and respond.
RDC says
Just wanted to say thank you for these specific ideas – they’re really helpful. I get that it’s something we need to talk about but it’s hard to figure out how.
anonymama says
This is all great.
It really is better to talk about it matter-of-factly rather than try to brush it off… make clear that it is not taboo to talk about, but it is also not a big deal that people are different. Asking “Why do you think that?” and explaining that people have all different color skin but they are the same inside, just like some people have blue eyes or brown eyes, or black hair or white hair, like so-and-so friend or relative. And that it’s not nice/fair to say that you don’t like someone because of how they look (wouldn’t it hurt your feelings if someone said they didn’t like you because you have blonde hair?).
Paging TBK and au pair moms says
I’ve finally narrowed my au pair search to two candidates I really like for my toddler twins and am having a difficult time deciding btwn the two. I’m going to draft an extensive pro/con list tonight but am curious, now that you’ve been at this a while are there any new questions you’d ask during the matching phase? Or potentail red flags you may not have identified before?
kc esq says
I haven’t had an au pair, but other parents told me that the thing they didn’t really consider pre-au pair was what it would be like to have, essentially, a teenager in addition to the young children. One au pair was great with the kids, but drove the adults crazy whining about her dating life, etc. So consider the personality that is best suited to you, too, rather than just the kids. Maybe ask what she likes to do on the weekend, etc?
TBK says
Hi! What really struck me about my au pair was:
1) She not only understood my questions, but also understood the question behind the question. I can’t recall any specific examples right now, but it’s like she had put herself in my shoes and was using empathy to understand why I might have that concern, and then answered my question in a way that specifically addressed the concern behind the question.
2) She was not shy about asking me to repeat questions, or saying she didn’t understand. This is huge. A friend had an au pair who was too nervous to ask questions or say she hadn’t understood, and so the friend thought the au pair knew what she was supposed to do, but would come home and find chores (e.g., kids’ laundry) not done. It took awhile for her to understand that the au pair’s English was not nearly as advanced as it had seemed and that it wasn’t just that the girl was lazy or thoughtless.
3) Consider their home countries’ cultures, if they’re from different places. Our au pair is South American and she has really become part of our family. She eats dinner with us 6-7 nights/week and often comes along on weekend errands/outings. We love this. We really wanted someone who would be part of the family and so focused on cultures that are very family centric. A friend of a friend also had a South American au pair and it drove her nuts because “she’s ALWAYS here!” She switched to a Swedish au pair and is thrilled — the northern Europeans tend to be much more independent and it works for this family to have an au pair who’s around when she’s working but otherwise is off doing her own thing. In some cultures, adults will sit apart and let kids play while just keeping an eye on them, while in others the adults get down on the floor with the kids in their laps. If you expect your au pair to be rolling around with your toddlers playing games on the floor and she’s sitting quietly on the couch just watching them, you might be disappointed.
4) Do you just simply feel at ease talking to her? On a Saturday morning, would you enjoy sitting at your kitchen table having a chat with her over coffee while you’re both in your pj’s?
Anon says
Interview today! Would be big change as I’ve hunkered down at current job through 2 babies but it might be time for something new. Former boss reached out to me, so I know we can work well together and sounds like 50% in the office and 50% at home — fingers crossed that I like the boss’ boss and he likes me!
JJ says
Good luck!! I took a new job in a very similar situation and it’s been wonderful. Thinking good thoughts for you.
Sfg says
Good luck! I’m in my third week of a big job change and it feels so good on the other side. Plus I actually get to take holidays off, instead of squeezing in work wherever it fits.
ANP says
Piggybacking off the question above: what would you do if you found out your otherwise-amazing, totally trustworthy and competent babysitter (whom your kids adore) was racist? We came home last night and were talking about our sitter’s recent car accident; she was rear-ended while driving a company car for her day job. She mentioned that the driver who hit her, who was drunk at the time of the crash, was black…and then said something about how she didn’t want to roll down her window because, “Oh, I don’t know, they just make me nervous.” I did not react/encourage her when she said this so she just kept telling the story.
This young woman used to be one of our kids’ daycare providers and I know for a fact she has worked with people of color (both colleagues and families at the daycare center). I’m torn, because OF COURSE racism is horrible (and I’m of mixed race myself) but do I keep her on and use this as a chance to teach her? She has not had a lot of exposure to non-white individuals — grew up in a very rural area, on a farm — and I see this as a learning opportunity for her. At the same time, I felt like I was going to throw up when she said that last night and I also don’t want my kids learning that cr@p.
And yes, in hindsight I probably should have called her out in the moment, but I was totally shocked/paralyzed.
Maddie Ross says
I think you need to do what you feel comfortable with as far as keeping her on/moving on. That’s a personal question and, in my opinion, comes down a lot to how often she works for you all, the ages of your kids, her age, and her general demeanor. If it’s a one-off comment, even though arguably offensive and potentially indicative of other feelings, if she’s only occasionally around say a 2 year old for bedtime while you’re out at dinner, I might let it go. If she’s there every day after school with elementary aged children, I might do some more exploring as to whether this could lead to other comments to your kids, etc.
As for a teaching moment, I think the opportunity to do that passed the minute the comment wasn’t responded to. Anything after the fact in this situation is likely to be viewed poorly in my opinion. I don’t see a scenario where you can bring this up without putting her on the defensive. And figure it this way, there are really only two options for her response – denial, or admission. And what would you do with either of those?
Anonymous says
Is it possible she meant she was nervous about this guy because he was a drunk man? Maybe I’m being too charitable but I would definitely be a little nervous to roll down my window and interact with a man under the influence who had just hit my car, especially in a deserted area. Rape and other scary things would be going through my head.
Anonymous says
I totally get that this is offensive, but is it possible that her comment was not really a generalization of how she feels around all black people, but more an unfortunate shorthand for “I was nervous as a young woman alone in a potentially volatile situation involving a drunk person who happened to be black”? Does the person’s race matter? No, of course not. But if I were telling a story about a car accident to an acquaintance, I would mention the other driver’s race in the interest of painting a picture and providing details, the same way I would mention age, gender, remarkable clothing/hairstyle, or distinguishing features.
I agree with Maddie Ross that there’s no way to revisit the conversation in a way that’s likely to be constructive. As a one-time comment, it probably wouldn’t be a deal breaker for me, but I would think about a response and be prepared to engage if there’s a similar one in the future.
anon says
Yeah, I also thought that maybe this was a reflection of situation where she was shaken up and not thinking too clearly. But definitely think through how you might handle similar comments in the future.
Meg Murry says
Yes, I am hoping (for everyone’s sake) that the “they” that made her nervous was drunks, not black people. Or maybe she was saying “they just made me nervous” – as in, the specific drunk person made her nervous (because anyone angry and probably larger than her made her nervous in that situation).
I am also in the “don’t go back to this conversation but be prepared to address it if a natural way to discuss it comes up again” camp.