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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’m not usually a floral person. But: this dress is awesome enough that even I want it. I like the 3/4-length sleeves, the round neck, and the work-appropriate length. For some reason I feel like it would be absolutely perfect if paired with tan shoes (not a lighter beige, but that lovely deep caramel color) and accessorized with a long gold necklace. It’s $168 at Nordstrom. Rosie Pope ‘Sloane’ Maternity Dress (L-2)Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Obstetric cholestasis during pregnancy says
Has anyone here had obstetric cholestasis during pregnancy? I’ve self-diagnosed (I know, I know) but have tests scheduled at my ObGyn. Would appreciate anecdata from ladies here rather than on the wider internet, which I am hoping to avoid but, you know, it’s hard not to google.
VKD says
I know it’s hard, but try to wait for the test results. I also self-diagnosed based on extreme itching (and other symptoms that I am now forgetting) and I was wrong. It just seemed so wild that I would be SO itchy with no other cause. It would wake me up and keep me up in the night (which is when I Mayo Clinic’d myself). Keep in mind that it is fairly uncommon and pregnancy does weird things to our bodies. Of course, better to know and be able to seek treatment and I have to say I did feel better/less itchy after finding out it was just wintertime dryness to the extreme. Hoping yours is the same!
Anon in NYC says
Towards the very end of my pregnancy I thought I developed a strangely localized case on my ankles. I’m somebody who will scratch a bug bite until it bleeds so it was tortuous. My doctor ran some tests for liver function and it was fine, so it was just some strange ailment. Intense moisturizer and refusing to let myself scratch helped.
NewMomAnon says
A colleague was diagnosed with it – she described it as like a zillion mosquito bites, but underneath her skin so she could never get relief by scratching. The doc ended up inducing her early. I don’t know much more than that though…I would wait for a diagnosis.
I had really bad localized itching at one point toward the end of pregnancy, and self-diagnosed as PUPPP. Turned out it was a set of nasty bug bites. And all-over itchiness in the middle trimester, which was resolved by using gentler body wash, cooler showers, and lots of Gold Bond unscented lotion with an extra dose of hydrocortisone cream once in a while.
OP says
Thanks, everyone. I know I shouldn’t self-diagnose, but it’s so hard when you have all these strange symptoms you’ve never associated with pregnancy before (like incredibly itchy feet!).
MDMom says
I also thought I had this at one point- I guess pregnancy related itching is common! This may be a little gross but mine improved dramatically when I started showering less- like every third day. It was winter so this was manageable for me. I also stopped using soap in shower except for shampoo, unless I was really dirty for some reason. It helped a lot. After that I would only itch on the days right after I showered. I think no amount of oil/lotion could replace the moisture loss from showering.
Meg Murry says
Are you itchy all over, but feet are the worst? My allergies tended to go on overdrive when I was pregnant, so anything that might have been mildly irritating (fragranced laundry detergent, itchy socks, etc) took me from mildly itchy to all over rash or hives.
Good idea to see your doctor, because itchiness can also be an early sign for pre-eclampsia, so keep an eye on your blood pressure.
If test results are negative you can also look for sources of irritants you can avoid, and discuss whether you should consider trying an antihistamine. For me, that mean being super vigilant on moisturizing creams on my feet (sometimes I wash with cold cream instead of soap and then put on cotton socks) and no synthetics like poly or nylon socks – I need cotton with a bare minimum of spandex when I’m in hyper-sensitive mode. I suspect (although never had a chance to fully test it out) that my latex sensitivity may also have come into play there, after reading labels.
I hope you feel better soon – feeling itchy is the worst!
Itchy says
I had pupps which was horrible. I found temporary relief with black pine tar soap and cold showers (tried aloe/lotions/oatmeal baths, basically everything short of steroids) and full relief by giving birth. On the upside my severe discomfort overshadowed any anxieties about delivery
Hope you get some relief!!
Anon says
Another who got checked and was totally fine. I think it was heat rash — oatmeal baths and a trip from NYC in August to San Fran cleared me up. I think tight clothes (I’d been swimming a lot, but could still fit into an old stretched out suit and hadn’t switched to a looser maternity suit) exacerbated it.
On the bright side the liver function tests caught my anemia, which I got pretty late in the game. I would have spent 4 months being anemic, since there weren’t any more blood tests.
Mik says
I’m the youngest mom in my mom group and the one who had a child the last. I work. I live in a religious community and most women with young kids don’t work full time or at all. Some of my friends haven’t worked in two years. They have spa days and go to cooking classes that I’ve never been included in. I’ve just been grateful to be included with what they invite me to- there are no moms of prekindergarten kids that I interact with through work so it feels like it’s them or nothing. And I liked them all when they had jobs and I still like them and sooner or later some of them will probably come back to work and I’ll have to deal with them or their husbands anyway.
I find my mom friends make a lot of snide or cutting comments. Little stuff, but it hurts or annoys. It’s stuff like “your kid is well dressed for once” or “it would be hard to never see your kid” and so on. The husbands don’t do this.
Yesterday I asked someone why she was being rude to me. She got very defensive, denied trying to fight with me and seemed to be taken aback.
Should I just cut ties with these people and be all alone? Should I apologize?
mascot says
If you are the youngest with the youngest child, it’s possible that this group may not have a lot of common ground with you. Is your child in school? How are those parents? It might be easier to form some friendships with those people since you have a common ground of similarly aged kids. Ask a friend of your child over for a playdate or to meet at the park and strike up a conversation with the parents.
Marilla says
I know ladies here are all in favour of calling people out when they make rude comments, but I’d recommend a softer approach. I’d try instead something like, hey, I know you don’t mean it this way but when you say x or y about how my kid is dressed or about work/daycare/nanny, it makes me feel pretty bad. Honestly, I think most people don’t have rude or mean intentions – they’re just inconsiderate. And I can definitely relate to being one of the only moms in my religious community who intends to work after mat leave!
anon says
Very few of the moms in my community work, and those who do work are mostly teachers and health care workers (but not doctors) who can arrange their schedules around their kids’ school schedules. At work, all of the other parents have stay-home spouses–including two women with husbands who stay home. Honestly, I don’t have any close mom friends. I am friendly with a few of the moms–as in, we chat when we run into each other at kid events or around town–and we occasionally hang out with the ONE other family in which both parents are working professionals with graduate/professional degrees and demanding schedules, but that’s it. Even the friendliest SAHMs just don’t have schedules or priorities that match up with mine, and the lack of common ground isn’t just about parenting. Most of them are from this area and have rarely been outside the state, went to local colleges, have never seen the inside of a criminal courtroom or met an actual poor person, and have a very different perspective on the world than I do.
TK says
I don’t have (and have never had) SAHM friends because we don’t have anything in common except that we gave birth at some point. I don’t find it super lonely because my days are pretty full already – I have dinner with friends (moms and non-moms) once or twice a month after kid is in bed and husband isn’t working late, and that’s about as much time as I can spare. I have work friends who don’t judge me for working. All that’s to say … cutting ties might not be terrible.
POSITA says
Are any of the moms nicer than others? I’d focus on trying to find one or two friends from the group and not be troubled with the rest .
NewMomAnon says
Counterpoint: is it possible that these women think they are “commiserating” with you and are just way off the mark? My daughter often pulls together her own outfits and looks like a mess so her teachers comment when she is wearing a nice outfit, but I understand that they know her back story and aren’t judging me. And I could see a SAHM making a comment about not seeing your kid because she thinks she is empathizing with you, but doesn’t realize she is actually insulting you.
And both of those examples are just to say – maybe you don’t need to be offended, but it still seems like there is a mile between you and the women in this group. So maybe you can stay friendly, but it would be good to find a different network of professional moms. As a working mom, I often don’t see my “mom friends” that often, but we share photos on FB, send e-mails when we have questions/issues, and talk online or on the phone at night after babies are in bed. I hope you can find a group that welcomes AND understands you!
MDMom says
Relatedly- I think the SAH/working mom friendship is often tough because they’re is so much defensiveness on both sides (particularly where as here some of them would like to work but we’re laid off and you didn’t have a preexisting friendship unrelated to kids). This isn’t a solution, just saying it might not be malicious. Just hard to bridge the divide. Have you considered starting a group for working moms? They might be others like you who ate feeling isolated. Also, have you tried reaching out to former good friends of yours who have since had kids? Even if they aren’t geographically close, they can still be emotional support.
Anonymous says
You know, I feel like they know what they are doing. Like… Most of my friends have their kid in daycare or something for at least a day a week and most of them have maids. I would never say- gee maybe you should volunteer with some of that extra time or wow, must be nice to spend your husbands money. Because I know saying that is hurtful. I don’t know how you wouldn’t.
MDMom says
Yeah. Some of them probably do, in a passive aggressive way. I was really trying to say that I think people judge others most harshly for things they are insecure about themselves. And societal expectations are such that women are often a bit insecure/defensive about their division of time between work and kids, so they’re is a tendency to defensively judge or lash out at others. I mean this not so much in defense of what was said but because I think this is one of the underlying dynamics that makes these relationships difficult. The value of mom friends is having a relatively judgment free safe space. Hard to achieve between SAH and working moms unless there is a basis for the friendship other than kids. Sorry for the cynical view. I don’t think either group is to blame for the dynamic-it goes both ways and I think it comes down to the pressure women feel to have it all. OP needs to find a circle where she doesn’t feel judged and this current one isn’t going to be it.
Curious says
Sorry – that sounds very difficult. My impulse is to say yes, cut ties with these people, because their comments are very unkind and hurtful.
But, can you explain more about what your community is like? I.e. are you physically far removed from others not involved in the community? Do your beliefs or the social norms of the community prevent you from forming friendships with other people from different belief systems or backgrounds?
Anonymous says
I live in a community where a lot of people are involved in religious communities. Most of the men I work work are very involved in their church culture. Their wives (who largely don’t work) have programs and stuff that they and theirs can go to that are tied into their religious community. I have never tried getting involved because they aren’t terribly welcoming and I don’t have an “in”. Plus most of the activities are probably during work hours. I’ve tried to talk to the wives and I find they don’t want anything to do with me on the rare occasions we interact.
I’m about five years younger than my friends. I met some of them at a group for pregnant women or at pregnant yoga etc and they mostly have kids who are born in the same year as my kid (though earlier). All our kids are basically toddlers. They aren’t lawyers but they were all professional women. Some of them can’t find work or were laid off so they aren’t all at home by choice.
anon says
If this is the religion I think it is, you are not going to get far with these women or their community unless you join their faith. Can you get involved with a place of worship within your own faith?
Anonymous says
It’s hard. I’m not traditional looking (short hair) and I’m an immigrant of colour. We attend a place of worship but I have never felt welcomed there or wanted there. No one has outright told me to go back to Syria haha but that’s kind of the vibe I get. I moved here because my husband (who I met on the other end of the country) was from this area and it’s a lot worse than I expected in some ways.
Wow says
Hi, are you the OP? So am I correctly surmising that you are Muslim and the religious community that you live in is predominantly Mormon or another kind of Christian? If that is the case I do think it would be very difficult to integrate with these moms, I’m sorry to say. I think there is too much of a cultural/religious divide, plus just as important the divide of working mom v. SAHM.
I agree with others that you should consider trying to befriend 1 or 2 people max in this group (playdates, coffee dates, etc.). But if they continue to be unwelcoming, I would not bother. I would try your best to meet other working moms through your child’s daycare. Or is there a meet up of working moms with toddlers? (Maybe not if you live in a rural area).
If you’re willing to post your location, perhaps the hive could try to connect with with some potential friends?
This sounds tough, I’m sorry. I wish women were kinder to one another.
Blonde Lawyer says
I was going to suggest trying to make friends with the husbands. I don’t mean individual one on one time but if you go to a neighborhood party and the guys are kind of hanging in one room talking about work and the moms are hanging in the other room talking about babies, why not just join the guy’s conversation? This is my tactic when I visit my southern in-laws that frequently have neighborhood bbqs. I don’t have kids so I spend a bit of time with the ladies and when the talk turns to entirely SAHM stuff, I go get another drink and see what the men folk are up to. In a really religious community though, that might not be considered “appropriate.”
Blonde Lawyer says
Weird. I came back to comment again and realized that this was a post on the mom’s site. Not sure how I ended up here in the first place. Misplaced click I guess. Anyway, hello!
So, what I was going to add is that my husband is great at facilitating this chat with the dudes. If I wander into the guys area he will say something like “oh, John, you were just talking about your trial. My wife just had a similar case involving X. What was it again?” Giving me the opening to talk about my work.
Anonymous says
It’s the kind of environment where it would be a mini scandal if I got a ride from the courthouse on a rainy day from someone’s husband. Like… The husbands are really nice to be and some have been great about mentoring and farming work to me but to a large extent husbands are off limits. Even if the particular husband didn’t mind and his wife didn’t mind other people would mind.
SC says
I know we’ve had discussion about this in the past, but I can’t find them. How much should I give our nanny as a Christmas bonus? I’m in a LCOL city and pay our nanny on the high end for our area (and, judging by the thread a little while ago, about on par with what people in Boston and cities other than NYC and SF were paying). But her salary really stretches our budget, and I won’t even have one week’s pay in my checking account on Christmas Eve after I pay her for this week.
Anonymous says
We can’t afford a bonus for our daycare providers. I feel bad but they get a week or two paid while the daycare is closed so we have to double pay for childcare at Christmas. So.. It is what it is. Don’t go into debt to please her.
PregLawyer says
We have about 6 different “teachers” for my infant’s room at daycare. I spent about $130 total on gifts for them. I got $30 starbucks gift cards + chocolatey cookie thingies for the two main teachers, and $10 cards + little peppermint bark bags for the 4 teachers who fill in when the main teachers are on break. There’s a starbucks right next to the daycare so it’s useful for them.
If I had a nanny, I think I would probably give a couple hundred bucks. But, note that I can’t afford a nanny, so I spend significantly less on a 4:1 ratio at daycare and then give the providers little starbucks cards. I don’t know. Do whatever you can afford. If you are already paying her well, then just get her a $20 gift card or make her some cookies.
NewMomAnon says
Toddler behavior question – Doctor Google diagnosed this as autism, which I think is a bit extreme for a normally developing toddler….
My almost 2 year old refused to sleep for several hours last night and spent much of that time trying to grind her cheek and forehead into the bony parts of my jaw and shoulder (hard, I have bruises). Advil didn’t help her, but I still suspect it is 2 year molars. I have the Zo-Li sticks, which she uses once in a while, but would appreciate any other molar teething tricks (or other thoughts).
mascot says
Orajel swabs are good for getting back there. Maybe a warm or cold compress on her face (whichever she likes). Teething pain is usually something that you can distract them from during the day hence why they get so cranky about it at night when they have nothing else to think about. Teeth take a while to come in and most kids can handle that low level of nagging discomfort. If it seems more intense and is happening when she should otherwise be distractible, I’d look at a possible ear or sinus issue.
NewMomAnon says
She was super happy as long as I was nearby, but wailed the minute I left. Maybe my presence was a distraction for her? I hate the guessing game of toddler ailments….
She finally fell asleep with her cheek mashed into the bridge of my nose at 3:30 in the morning. Will have to try the Orajel swabs….
Msj says
Have you already been using Motrin? I hate resorting to drugs but that’s the only thing that gets us through teething. During the day frozen fruit in teethers is also effective.
I’d also ask your Dr about the topical stuff to be safe. Ours didn’t recommend orajel for safety reasons, but I’m not sure if that is an infant vs toddler restriction