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Sales of note for 8.30.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 20% off
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lands’ End – 40% off sitewide; 50% off backpacks, 40% off kids’ apparel
- Loft – Summer sale, 30% off new arrivals; up to 50% off much more
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- Zappos – 28,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off everything
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 40% off everything
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; extra 50% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 50-60% off; 50% off pants for the family
- Target – 20% off select clothing for all; up to 50% off home; up to 30% off select nursery furniture; up to 30% off kitchen & dining
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Momata says
Good morning, ladies. I’ll start. What products work for undereye dark circles? The entire family slept last night, and I’m hydrated and got some exercise and fresh air last night — and still, I have dark bags halfway down my nose and look like death warmed over. I have zero interest in any day treatments that can’t be worn under makeup. Right now I dot some yellow concealer just below the inside of my eye but it looks terrible if I try to cover up the entire bag. I wear tinted moisturizer on the rest of my face and am not really interested in any heavier foundation.
Second — what systems do you use to allow your kids to listen to music? My 2.5 yo is really into music and I’d like to encourage her with a little sound system she can operate independently. I had a full arsenal of tapes as a preschooler that I listened to all the time. We are pretty anti-screen so while the initial answer might be to give her an old phone loaded with tunes and a cheap bluetooth speaker, I’m not super excited about that.
CPA Lady says
I’m a big fan of Urban Decay’s 24/7 concealer pencil. It’s a big chubby stick that goes on smoothly and has really good coverage. It stays put for me, even when I’m sweating.
For music, a family member got my daughter the Alilo Honey Bunny Digital Player. It doesnt have a screen, and the ears light up as the music plays. It comes with nursery rhymes, childrens songs, and some stories on it, and you can put whatever music you want on it too. The battery lasts a pretty long time and you can plug it in to re-charge. It was a totally random gift, but has ended up being pretty fun.
Anon in NYC says
I’m fairly minimal with makeup so this might not be enough coverage for you, but I use the Yves St. Laurent Touche Eclat on my dark circles. It does not conceal them per se, but acts as a highlighter so I think it minimizes them. Perhaps that (or a similar product) in conjunction with your concealer would be a good option.
CLMom says
I base my concealer color on the color of the dark circle that day. Mine tend to be very dark (people, including my husband, have asked how I got a black eye). Sometimes they are more red (like today), other times they are more blue in hue. So, I have a green, yellow, and orange concealer to choose from.
There is some color wheel property about the opposite color neutralizes it.
Maddie Ross says
It Cosmetics Bye Bye Undereye from Ulta.
MomAnon4This says
I did a drop-in makeover at Sephora for foundation & concealer — took 15 or 20 minutes, I’d planned to buy the products anyway. I feel like I look great. Just a suggestion, sorry it’s not a product recommendation exactly (it’s a NARS concealer that works with the semi-expensive foundation)
Anon says
I highly recommend the Bobby Brown concealer. I suggest you go in the store and have a salesperson help you choose the right color and show you how to apply it. I use a Sephora concealer brush for application.
Anon says
Y’all tell me its okay to skip a “fun” event that my work is having for families with kids…. It’s a BBQ at the zoo thing where we have the whole zoo to ourselves and there is food. But dinner doesn’t even start until 6:30. Which is when my toddler typically goes to bed. I keep thinking I could push it and make it happen even though I regret every single time I try to do something like this. It’s going to be in the upper 90s of degrees. I’m just picturing my exhausted toddler kicking and screaming and melting down in the boiling heat in front of all my coworkers, then falling asleep in the car halfway across town. Maybe she’ll be able to stay up later next year and we can go then. I hate feeling so boring.
Anonymous says
What time is the event? I think it’s fine to skip but I love the Zoo so could you just go to the looking at the animals part and skip the dinner? Totally reasonable to leave early because toddler has to go to bed.
Anon says
5:30-8:30, and its about a 20 minute drive from our house.
Anonymous says
I would skip in that case.
Anon in NYC says
Yep. Absolutely skip it! You have my permission.
TBK says
Oh my god I would so skip this event. Ninety degrees and cranky toddler sounds like hell. I’ve found “kids” really means at least 3 yo and often more like 5+ yo.
Anonymous says
+1. “Kids” at work events ime means “quiet, well-behaved, small people who know how to listen and follow directions.” My toddler is NOWHERE NEAR that.
JayJay says
Oh I would absolutely skip this event. That hot and an overtired toddler? No way in heck would I do that.
Anonymous says
Totally skip it! Alot of people don’t end up going in my past experience. Although I will be going if it’s next Fri :)
Anonymous says
BTW, is this is the same event, dinner starts at 5:30
Anon says
Not the same event…. but have fun!
JLK says
Skip it. My not-quite-3-year-old goes to bed 7/7:30 but no longer naps. If I really want to do an event like this, we try to force a nap. If I can’t get a nap, then we skip the event. If she naps, she is good until 9 or so.
Onlyworkingmomintulsa says
Also agree with skipping it. My company had exactly the same event at the same time and it’s hotter than hell here in the summer. I think this is really meant for older, school-aged kids who stay up past 7:00 : )
Anon says
Okay, thank goodness. Two of my coworkers have kids younger than mine and they’re both going. Which is why I got all concerned.
But yeah, I RSVP-ed no, and feel delightful about that decision :)
Funeral says
Any tips for discussing going to a funeral with a 3.5 year old? My grandmother, who he only met once and wouldn’t remember, passed away and we’re traveling out of state to the funeral this weekend. He’s not at the point where he really asks a lot of “why” questions or what things mean, so I think that he’s pretty accepting of the idea that we’re going to a church service called a funeral and he has to be very good and quiet. But if he gets wind that people are sad or that his Grandpop (my dad) is sad, he’ll definitely want to know what they are sad about. I’m afraid to use the word “Grandmom” or similar, because I don’t want him to get mixed up with his own grandmothers, and I’m not quite sure how to explain who she was or that she died. He’s excited about riding a plane and seeing his cousins, so I’m focusing on that, but I’m worried about the actual event. Suggested words or phrases?
Anonymous says
I would refer to her at Grandpop’s Mommy which might be less confusing. At that age and in this context, I would just explain that when someone gets very very old, their body doesn’t work so good anymore and then they die. I would say that it’s okay to feel sad and it helps when we talk about our feelings and we have a special church service to remember how much we loved the person. That Grandpop might feel sad but that’s okay and we can help him by giving extra hugs and drawing special pictures (or similar activity that child likes to do that cheers up Grandpop).
Closet Redux says
I grew up in a religious household, so we always talked about going to heaven when your time on earth is over/ Jesus needs you in heaven. If that works for you, I feel like that was really comforting to me as a kid.
That said, we are raising our kiddo in a non-religious household, so while I haven’t dealt with this yet, I’ve thought a lot about how we will talk about tough things that I learned about in a religious context. I think it’s really important not to avoid the subject. It’s great that he’s excited about planes and cousins, and knows to be quiet in church, but I would explicitly talk with him about death and the purpose of your visit so he’s not totally on his own to fill in the blanks. I like Anonymous at 10:13 ‘s suggested language and activities. Also try checking out a kids’ book from the library that deals with death.
Lurker says
Could you get a sitter for the actual event? Then he still gets to travel with you but you can tell him this church event is long and boring and you would rather he get to sit at home with grandpa’s friend Sally who will watch cartoons and color with him. Then you don’t have to address any of that yet since the situation is so potentially confusing.
CHJ says
+1. I think this is a great idea.
Meg Murry says
+1 to a sitter. Do the cousins live in the area and can they recommend a sitter? Or maybe there is someone in the church that could watch him? Sometimes they will let a church member take younger kids to a Sunday School classroom if you pre-arranged it. Or since its your family, is your husband going and could he just take a walk with the kiddo during the service?
I’m sorry for your loss. My 4.5 year old has been asking a lot about life and death, and he seems to accept the explanation that when people get older their bodies start to wear out, and that if no one ever died the Earth would be too full for new babies like his baby cousin or his friend’s baby sister. We’re not religious, so we just talk about how even though sometimes we’re sad that the person isn’t here with us anymore, we can still remember them and talk about happy memories and look at pictures and love them. Our house and my parents and in-laws have a decent number of framed photos of weddings and such, and he’s always liked to point and ask us who each person is, and now he will point to them and say “Theres Mommy, and Daddy and Aunt Sue and Grandma Lastname and Grandpa Lastname at Aunt Sues wedding. That’s Daddy’s Grandma Lastname, she died but we still remember and love her” or sometimes “she got old and died” and then he moves on.
He might be a touch young to get it, but could you make a photo book that includes the cousins and grandpa he’s going to see, plus your Grandmother and some other relatives that are dead? If you keep showing him the photos, he might get that Great-Grandmother Lastname is your Grandma Lastname but not the same as his Grandma’s.
mascot says
+3 to getting a sitter/family friend to watch him. Funerals are stressful for everyone and that’s a lot of big emotion for a little kid to be around and process. I was old enough to remember when several of my great grandparents died and remember being pretty confused about why my mom was so sad and a little unnerved by the funeral home visitation process. It was pretty miserable.
Spirograph says
I dunno, I feel like people (or at least I) always like little kids at funerals — no one is going to hold it against you if a 3.5 year old isn’t perfectly behaved, and a tiny bit of adorableness can make everyone feel better. Especially since I presume your grandmother was quite elderly and lived a full life and has a great legacy of family remembering her, if this is like the funerals for that generation in my family, the service is going to be sad, but it also will have a family reunion flavor.
I haven’t had to deal with this yet, but I would be upfront about death and that it means she’s never coming back, so people are sad because they loved her and will never see her again. But everyone will be ok and they are glad that they get to remember her together today, too. My 3 year old is fascinated by the idea that I also have a mom and a grandma, and that my mommy is his grandma (every time my mom visits now, he says “Mommy! that’s your mommy! Mommy! Your mommy is here!), and HER mommy is his great grandma, so I think it’s worth taking a stab at explaining the family relationships.
Sorry for your loss!
Easily Excitable says
Depending on the situation and circumstances, I would bring your kiddo to the funeral. My grandfather passed away recently after a long time with Alzheimer’s. My son is three, and didn’t really get it, didn’t ask. He was having too much fun seeing family, talking about his plane ride, gobbling up attention. Neither him nor his 5 year old cousin were very well behaved during the service. And everyone loved it. My grandmother (“Super Grandma” to my son) was laughing and crying and told me that having them there made the day easier. So know your family, etc., but don’t stress to much, kids are allowed to not know the right thing to do and that can make it easier on others.
My mom also got the boys tshirts with embroidered ties (I think from Gymboree)to wear to the service that I thought were super hokey, but again, everyone ate it up.
BFG says
Just an update: I switched the membranes on my pump this morning and it did help. Not quite back to pre-recession levels but just 20 ml. shy of the goal with minimal time/effort. I also got my period this morning, so maybe that had something to do with it.
Appreciate all the talk and tips yesterday. I hope I can stick it out with breastfeeding, but if not, I think the discussion yesterday really helped me reframe the narrative in my head. Thank you!
Anonymous says
I would say it’s highly likely that it’s period related. I always had a dip in production before my period.
Anon in NYC says
Same. It usually picked back up within a week.
3L mama says
same. hope it all works out!
Anonymous says
Ditto. Definitely period-related.
Elle says
If I recall correctly, taking a magnesium supplement pre-/during can help with the dip in supply if it is related to that. Dr. Google should help. (Just realized I’m basically at a year of no breastfeeding!)
HSAL says
Yay!
PEN says
Pre-recession levels—i love it. thanks for the laugh
TBK says
Any suggestions at all for things to do with two 2 year olds on Saturday that are indoors? My husband is spending all day helping out his mom with some stuff (and for various reasons the kids and I can’t tag along). It’s supposed to be about 95 degrees this weekend with typical DC humidity. I’m going to go bonkers if we just sit inside all day (and if we do I won’t be held responsible if we wind up watching an unhealthy number of Elmo videos).
Anonymous says
Building Museum in DC is always a hit with my kids. They just run and run in the atrium. There is a play building area, but unless you get there early, there is often a long wait for that.
Thx says
My favorite indoor DC activities are –
– Air and Space (in Dulles – more room to roam/run, watch the iMax, get McDs for lunch then home for nap)
– Check out the Iceberg exhibit at the Building Museum (if you purchase a membership, you get free parking)
– The “softroom” in Alexandria
– Embrace the heat, and head to a splash pad (Mosaic has a fun one with lots of food options nearby) or to one of the local parks on the Potomac
TBK says
I wish I could do a splash pad, but I’ve discovered those are a no go if I’m solo with the kids. They’re still young enough that they just wander off, often at full speed and in opposite directions.
Anonymous says
I have twins as well and our solution for this is babywearing with a water sling. The twins know that they each get a turn to run around while the other is on my back or front in the sling. I swap them in and out usually 2-3 times. You can also use a Boba Air that’s nylon if you don’t like a sling.
Involves the parent getting wet and wearing a swimsuit but realistically if you take kids to the splash pad you’re going to end up wet anyway.
TBK says
We gave away all our carriers a long time ago (it never really worked for us with twins). But they might be willing to take turns in the stroller while the other one splashes. They’re remarkably good at understanding “turns” (I think most twins are).
Thx says
American Indian Museum also has a great kids’ room. But the soft room or Mobu kids in Falls Church City is great. Mobu is great when your kids are between 2 and 3. The whole room is pretty safe, so you can let them roam and actually just sit for a dang second. I spent a lot of time there this winter.
Lurker says
I’m not usually huge on the “kid leash” thing but I fully embrace them for dangerous situations, runners, kids that have developmental issues or when you are outnumbered!! You’d be outnumbered, with runners in a potentially dangerous situation. Tethers are fully called for! Make it a game like a three legged race rather than making it seem like a restrictive tether. Be a new six legged creature together!
CHJ says
Natural History Museum!
Carrie M says
What about taking them to JW Tumbles or Sprout at Saffron, if either has some open gym time on Saturday? Both are in Arlington. I’ve also heard that Flight Trampoline out in Springfield has a little kid area, but I haven’t been out there. A few weekends ago, we went over to the big (and free!) sprayground in Alexandria at Lee rec center (on Telegraph) – it really felt good to be in the water. Just next to the sprayground is a super shady area where you can lay out a towel for snacks/water, and a playground that has pretty good shade. We did it in the morning before it was super hot, and it really wasn’t that bad. Being in the water felt great.
Carrie M says
Oops, just saw your note above re the wandering. JW Tumbles or a similar indoor playspace might be a good option then! I think there’s also one by the Original Pancake House in falls church (current location, not the old one), but I’m blanking on the name.
Vacation vs Trip says
Someone once told me that, with kids, you can either go on a trip (with kids, visiting family or friends, or sightseeing) or a vacation (without kids or with childcare, actually restful and restorative). This has been helpful to me. We’re leaving for our (low-budget) summer vacation next week with our one-year-old and I’d love any wisdom you have about how to make a sort of hybrid trip/vacation more vacationy.
We’ve got two nights and one full day of childcare, and have planned in a lot of down time to hang with old friends who also have kids. In general I have adopted what I call the “low-stress travel attitude”, which basically means that I refuse to stress about anything like packing (buy a replacement when we get there!) or timing (we’ll get there eventually!).
For me it’s always the little things, so for you, what little things make a trip feel more like a vacation?
Anonymous says
Half Day solo adventures really make it feel vacationy for us.
We each pick one thing to do for a half day by ourselves. I went to a spa for a half day and DH went mountain biking. Felt vacationy but other parent wasn’t too put out because they only had baby on their own for a half day. Generally we do the solo activity in the morning. It was also nice to have some one on one time with baby.
Thx says
My husband and I had a our most successful “vacation” post kids when our now 4 year old was 1. A few things that made it work –
1. We ate really, really early every night at nice restaurants – we visited all the nice restaurants in our vacation spot, but we went right when they opened (4:30 or 5). We usually elected to sit outside on the deck (it was an outdoorsy location, so most places had patios/bars in addition to indoor seating), rather than formal dining inside, and we sat on the deck, drinking cocktails/eating appetizers, while baby grazed with us. It was early enough that we weren’t disturbing more serious diners, baby was in a great mood, and we got to sample the really good restaurants/weren’t constrained by “family-friendly” places only. We left well before baby wasn’t content to be there.
2. It might be too late for this for you guys, but we were purposeful about where we stayed. We found a B&B that was very small (a converted home) and requested a specific room (called management when we booked to describe what we wanted). We wanted to be just outside our room, by the pool, and still able to see the baby on a video monitor. We were able to spend a few hours every day at the pool during naptime, watching baby sleep on the monitor, and getting drinks served to us poolside. Also, after our ridiculously early dinners and bedtime for baby, we could wander back outside in the courtyard to sit and relax, if we wanted.
We spent the mornings doing very baby friendly activities – beach, fun hikes with baby in a carrier, etc. But it really felt like a vacation to us b/c he didn’t really care at 1 what we were doing – he just like being with us. It’s gotten harder as he’s gotten older and can express opinions loudly! about what he wants to do, and now that we’ve added a second. But this was easily my favorite vacation post-kids.
Butter says
This is really helpful for me – our little guy is now 6 months and I feel like we have this window to go on fun-for-us vacations but wasn’t sure how to go about doing it. This sounds exactly our speed, and a good way to narrow down where we should go and what we should do.
Thx says
Do it!!! We have moved firmly into house rental territory with our two young ones. At some point, we’ll get back to hotel sleeping, but it’s more cost effective at this point to have multiple rooms and a full kitchen. I really miss that trip, which felt like the perfect way to bridge the gap between traveling with my husband and traveling with kids.
Betty says
One thing that can make it feel more vacationy is to try and make things “easier” to the extent that you can without encouraging poor behavior. What I mean is that if you generally discourage or limit screen time, let your one year old watch an episode (or three) of Sesame Street/Yo Gabba Gabba/Mickey Mouse so that you can sit and enjoy a hot cup of coffee. If you generally don’t allow juice boxes or fruit snacks, for the sake of ease pack some juice boxes and character fruit snacks. If you have stopped napping when your baby naps, cuddle up for a nap with them in your bed.
rakma says
Related to this thought is to procure some treats for grownups–a nice bottle of wine for after kid’s bedtime, a good book for sitting by the pool. I found I spent so much time thinking about all of the necessities and kid stuff that I’d finally end up at the pool, by myself, and go, huh, what do I do now? I’d rather have those 15 minutes of reading than trying to find something on my Kindle app.
Closet Redux says
Yes, this happened to me last weekend! Toddler took an unusually long nap and the only thing I found to read in our rental house was an old Martha Stewart Living magazine from February. I learned a lot of great Valentine’s Day crafts, but I sure wished I’d had a book.
Anon in NYC says
Any suggestions for containers for packing toddler lunches? I’m using the Oxo Tot Blocks for her food now, but the little plastic ring inside the containers keeps falling out and it’s driving me nuts. I’m thinking some sort of durable bento box might be a good idea. Also, the toddler room at her daycare cannot heat food and suggested a thermos, so any suggestions on that front would also be appreciated. Thanks!
mascot says
Target and HomeGoods usually have a variety of plastic boxes in all sizes. We have a Rubbermaid (?) set from Target that came with 4 boxes and an ice pack. Works pretty well.
FTMinFL says
We love the Sistema Klip It Collection Lunch Cube to Go Food Storage Container (link to follow). It isn’t any help on the keeping-food-hot issue, but great for keeping foods separate in a compact box. It is dishwasher safe. I liked it so much I bought more to use for adult lunches!
FTMinFL says
https://www.amazon.com/Sistema-Collection-Storage-Container-47-3-Ounce/dp/B002B4S75I/ref=sr_1_15/000-2198243-3459417?ie=UTF8&qid=1468512599&sr=8-15&keywords=sistema+klip+it+containers
CHJ says
We have two small Thermoses that I send almost every day. I usually do something hot (like pasta, meatballs, chicken fingers, dumplings, chili, etc.) in one Thermos and then something cold (vegetables or fruit) in the other. I send them in a canvas lunch box.
This is the Thermos:
https://www.amazon.com/THERMOS-Insulated-Stainless-10-Ounce-Charcoal/dp/B00LIRIZVU/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1468512839&sr=8-2&keywords=foogo
And this is the lunch box:
https://www.amazon.com/Skip-Hop-Lunchie-Insulated-Lunch/dp/B003HS5JM6/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1468512865&sr=8-1&keywords=bumble+bee+lunch+box
shortperson says
planetbox has been amazing for my toddler lunches. exactly what I was looking for.
Anon in NYC says
Thanks, all! These look great.
Chicago? says
We are in the early stages of contemplating a move to Chicago. Can anyone speak to the cost of living, cost of daycare, quality of life with a kiddo in tow, etc? We currently have short commutes, and would love to keep them if at all possible. At least one of us would be working in Hyde Park – what would make sense in terms of neighborhoods to look at if we wanted to keep our short commute (think 15-25 min)? I know the traffic there can be epic, so I’d like to minimize that if possible. And anything else we should know as we’re weighing pros and cons? We currently live in a medium NE city with a high cost o’ living. Thanks in advance!
ECR says
Will you be sending kiddo to Lab (which starts at age 3)? That decision influences a lot of others. If one of you will be working for the U of C, you can count on admission to Lab and 50% discount on tuition. Hard to beat. If sending kiddo to Lab, would strongly recommend living in Hyde Park, which has affordable single-family homes. If not, would try to live elsewhere, since Hyde Park public schools aren’t great. South Loop is affordable with good public elementary schools and commute within your desired range. Lincoln Park and neighborhoods in the North/Northwest have great public schools, but commute would be much longer from Hyde Park.
We love living in the city with a toddler. Free public zoo, great science museum, public beaches and access to waterfront. I’ve found that many more of my friends use nannies in Chicago than friends living in the NE.
OP says
Ah, I didn’t know that about the Lab school! Great to know. Yes one of us will be at the U of C, so that seems like an obvious one. We’ll still need daycare for about a year before then, but good to know I should also consider a nanny. Thanks!
CHL says
Definitely look at Hyde Park but explore as well. A lot of people LOVE Hyde Park, but even though my husband works at U of C, we just didn’t want to live far away from most of our friends who tend to be more on the north/west sides. I posted on this board about our decision not to send our son to Lab for that reason (although it is amazing!!) If you don’t know many people here, maybe that’s not an issue. I’m intrigued by the comment about single family homes being affordable in Hyde Park – we haven’t really seen that. Seemed like a mix of fancy Obama-esque homes and condos (which were perfectly nice). I guess affordable is in the eye of the beholder. here are some safety concerns depending on where you go so just make sure you check it out. You could also do South Loop if you don’t mind more of a high-rise feel, but we also know a lot of people that work at the University that commute from other neighborhoods. We pay about $1600 a month for each of our kids (nice daycare center and nanny share, respectively). There is a U of C Bright Horizons center you can check out!
Coworker Troubles says
Not exactly mom related, but I have a co-worker who loves to micromanage me and It’s starting to really annoy me. She’s on a separate team, but we work together frequently (she does the credit aspects of the contracts I negotiate). It started with her requesting to be CCd on all my e-mails (which I hate but relented because very little effort on my part to make this high mat. person happy), now she’s reminding me of deadlines (that I already met and CCd her when I was responding) and I’m about to blow.
For reference, she’s the same person who told me I look good for still having baby weight when I recently returned from Mat. Leave and comments (“I see you are snacking again”) every time I eat a snack (i’m EBF and get low blood sugar easily so snack frequently, we work in a cube farm and don’t interact with customers at all). So she just annoys me in general.
Advice? Keep killing her with kindness/compliance while venting to you guys? Or can I do something about this madness?
sfg says
Is this person in your chain of command? Does your immediate supervisor have a view on this? Of course it’s not behavior that you have to tolerate, but I understand that the politics of your workplace might impact whether and how you might complain.
Coworker Troubles says
No to chain of command. She doesn’t make any decisions related to me, she has been at the company and working longer, but in general is cited to have poor performance.
My supervisor is pretty worthless for these types of things. He just got thrown into being a supervisor during a reorg and is basically on the “don’t rock the boat” track until retirement (1-2 yrs away for him). He does push back when I push him because i’m a really high performer and he doesn’t want to loose me. But I don’t want to sound like a winey “youngen” . . .
Anonymous says
She’s awful so vent away here but to deal maybe:
1) stop cc’ing her and just forward to her any emails relevant to her. If she mentions it, just say that you didn’t find the cc’ing was working because she was replying that was not relevant to her job such as deadlines that had already been met/she had been cc’d on and that the excessive irrelevant emails were creating an unnecessary distraction for you.
2) If she comments about snacking again, I would either say “Yes” then allow slightly awkward pause and finish with a bright smile. Repeat exact same response every time. You don’t owe her an explanation – you’re EBF and working with an awful person so you’re basically a rockstar.
HSAL says
Yep, I like both of these. The fact that you haven’t already murdered her is super impressive.
Closet Redux says
Oh lord, I would have murdered this person by now, she sounds insufferable! I tend to be pretty direct about these things because (a) I hate being condescended to and (b) I have found that gentle redirection just doesn’t work on people who don’t think their behavior is out of line. Add to that the fact that you are a high performer and she is not, I’d definitely call her out.
For instance, when she reminds you to do something you already did, I would say, “Yes, I already did that and cc’d you on the reply. Have a look at your email and let me know if you have any questions.” If she keeps doing it, I would say, “It seems like the cc’s aren’t working since so many of these things seem to be slipping by you. How about I forward relevant emails to you, or you can just ask me if you have questions.”
For the body-centered comments (uuugggh, why is she commenting on this?!?) I would probably say something like, “It’s so odd that you comment on my snacking / body. I find it really uncomfortable, actually.” and see what she says. I’m a bit of a provocateur, though.
Edna Mazur says
I agree. If she isn’t in your chain of command I would stop the cc right now.
I’m pretty polite, usually, but with the snack thing I would say something like “It’s really weird that you notice and comment on my eating habits. It makes me very uncomfortable and I want you to stop.” The ONLY comment that is appropriate to make about something someone is eating us “that looks yummy”.