Washable Workwear Wednesday: Floral Knit Sheath Dress

I’m feeling really crummy and need some advice on dealing with a grandparent who is incredibly helpful yet unwilling to accept any critique. My mom has basically lived with us off and on for the entire year and has gone leaps and bounds what most grandparents would do. She drops and picks the kids off at school, cooks all meals, does laundry, housecleaning, etc. In a word, amazing.

The problem is that she seems very partial to my younger daughter (I have two daughters, 2 years apart). She took care of the younger one since she was a newborn, whereas with my older one, she was still working and didn’t spend as much time. To be sure, my older one sometimes hits the younger one but he is not always the one to blame (my younger one can also be the instigator). I have noticed that when my mom visits, the kids are “acting up” much more than when she is not there. I suspect that my older one is noticing this partiality, resents it, and is acting out.

I have tried to broach this subject gently but she is adamant that there is no partiality. She basically says that my little one cannot talk and is helpless, so she feels more protective of her because she can’t speak out. I certainly understand that to a point, but I also think that her default is to blame the older one automatically, even without checking on who started the fight. To be clear, she is equally helpful to both kids in terms of giving baths, packing lunches, etc. and says she loves them both.

It all came to a head this morning and now she is feeling really hurt and I feel terrible. Her response to any criticism is “but I’m so helpful and I do so much for you all” which is absolutely true and just makes me feel guilty that I’m saying anything negative at all.

Any advice?

This was a rough time for me too. But I don’t really understand why you are okay with switching to dairy in 3 months but not mixing in some formula now – I mean, it’s not like your child transforms overnight when they turn 1. It’s a somewhat arbitrary milestone. Don’t kill yourself for this – you won’t care in a year. If you really want another option, ask your pediatrician if you can start mixing in some cow’s milk now. I think 8.5 months is probably a little young but I’ve heard some docs are okay with starting before a year.

I am preparing to return to work from maternity leave and I am looking for recommendations on a bag for my pump and any other accessories that people have found necessary/helpful. I will be using the medela pump in style. I think I will pump into the medela bottles and then transfer the milk into the kiinde bags once I get home in the evenings. I find it difficult to get an accurate measurement using the kiinde bags and i think this will make it easier to combine the milk in the evening. Has anyone else done this? Looking for any and all helpful suggestions. Thank you!!!

Thanks for all the comments on how long kiddo can have pouches yesterday! I let her have them for snacks at daycare (sooo much healthier than animal crackers, imo) and I’m glad to hear I don’t need to phase them out.