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I like the neckline of this tie-neck top by CeCe by Cynthia Steffe. The higher neck with the tie draws the eye up to the face, and the V-neck is flattering. I like the small all-over pattern and the looser fit of the body and the sleeves. The tie sleeves are also a nice detail that adds some interest.
I like the “night shade” color, but it also comes in a lighter “lemonade” that is fun but would personally make my skin look like Slimer from Ghostbusters.
The top was $89 full price at Lord & Taylor but is now marked down to $62.30. Tie-Neck Chiffon Blouse
For plus sizes, CeCe also has a tie-neck top for $79 that comes in three colors.
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Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Kids!kids!kids! says
First time nanny user with some questions that hopefully this group can help with:
For those of you that pay nannies on the books/withhold taxes:
1. Do you pay above market per hour to compensate for lower take home pay? The nannies I am interviewing are only concerned with take home pay, not gross. It’s all becoming very expensive and confusing with payroll type fees on top of salary! I have two kids, one who will hopefully be in part time preschool at the beginning of the year and full time in the spring.
2. Do you use a service for withholding or do you do it on your own? Suggestions for companies? My accountant offers the service for $150/month but since this is my first go around is it worth it to pay someone to do it for me?
3. Any suggestions for background/vehicle search companies? Google is confusing!
4. Nanny referral companies – is the industry norm really about 2 weeks salary? I’ve spoken with some agencies that are 2 weeks salary from employer and 1 week from the nanny. That’s a little under $3,000 in my estimation. Am I just cheap because I feel like that is a lot.
Any other common suggestions for a newbie nanny user? Thank you!
Anon says
1. Yes
2. Home Pay
3. I think Care dot com has a built in background search and we used that.
4. I didn’t use a referral service, but we also didn’t have the best nanny experience. $3000 would be very worth it to me if it helps you find the person who’s the right fit for your family, and you expect to have them long term.
Anonymous says
Agree with 1-3 on this for a summer sitter we have used for 5 years and during the year (so over the nanny tax limit). We also pay for workers’ comp insurance, since she drives our kids around (non-driving nannies are very inexpensive to get workers’ comp coverage for; driving makes it $$).
CCLA says
Echoing 1-2. We used an agency and fees were all from us, none from the nanny. IIRC fees were about 15% of the total gross wages for the first year which landed us way over $3k. We are in a VHCOL area so that was likely a factor. I considered that money well spent given the hours DH and I were working but of course everyone will have a different time vs money assessment. The agency handled background checks.
Anonymous says
Yes, we paid extra to make up for over the table wages. Highly recommend Homepay— their customer service is amazing.
Anon says
ditto. Homepay makes it really really easy. And yes we pay our nanny so that her take home is “market.” This means we pay significantly more than almost anyone I know, but, I work for the government.
Quail says
1. Yes, nannies thinking in terms of takehome was common where we are. But since we ended up using a nanny agency (see #4) that conversation was mediated by a third party, which I found very helpful. When we tried to find a nanny on our own, paying over the table was a hard sell for that and other reasons. Being in a nanny share made our gross rate higher but our out of pocket lower.
2. Homepay. And $150/month seems like a lot – I don’t think Homepay is that expensive (though I should know this…)
3. Used an agency so they did the background.
4. Our fee was about $3K (maybe $3500?) that we split with our nanny share family. We are in a big city in the Midwest. That was a set fee for a FT nanny, not based on the nanny’s salary. The nanny didn’t pay anything – that seems terrible to me, but I guess each market is different. We wanted a bilingual nanny as we are a bilingual family, and it was hard to find someone with the language skills, for a nanny share, who was also willing to get paid over the table (and having that convo over and over was getting tiresome with our self-search). So we went with an agency and the peace of mind was worth it. But they are like a real estate broker – they want you to love their candidates and close the deal quickly. So take your time if you need it.
anon says
Yes, this on the agency. Be very clear about your expectations, and then they can prescreen and you don’t have to wade through all the initial questions.
anon says
FYI – We had a lot of issues with a nanny not understanding tax withholding. We spoke with her about paying on the books, but then she set her withholding super high and was very frustrated by her take home. She thought we were taking advantage of her, but it was really just her not understanding US taxes. We worked through it, but with considerable angst and loss of trust on both sides.
anon says
1. Yes, and it’s $$
2. We use Poppins Payroll, which is $29/month for one employee. I tried to do it myself and it’s not that hard, but it’s a pain.
3) When I hired through care.com, they did it; now I use an agency and they do it.
4) Our fee was $8,000 (VHCOL area), which was a little lower than other agencies that take a percentage of first year salary. The nice thing is that if the person leaves within 9 months, I got a free search (and my person did leave within nine months). Before I used care.com, I used a different agency that charged $1,000 (for a part-time person) but then handled the payroll and took a cut of that (I never really figured out the percent). But they covered workers’ comp, so that was nice.
Get worker’s compensation and if the nanny will be driving your car, add him or her to your policy. I found college students to be more trouble than it’s worth (including finding the best nanny ever, only to have her quit after three months because she got a job in her chosen career), but if you have flexibility in your schedule, they are cheaper and often very engaging. I couldn’t handle the flakiness.
Patricia Gardiner says
Good morning! Another question about best time to toilet train: son is 22 months, will be 2 years old when new baby is born. Son is in a nanny share with another boy who is slightly older and nanny has been talking about starting to toilet train them together soon. Is it better to try to start now, realizing that we may be in for a tough time/accidents when new baby arrives? I had been thinking of putting it off until baby is at least 4-5 months to allow for adjusting and to not have toilet emergencies while dealing with a newborn. Any thoughts as to before vs after arrival of a sibling? Thanks!
HSAL says
My daughter turned 2 the same month I got pregnant. We did a little bit of trying in the first couple months, and then I was too sick early in my pregnancy to deal with it. At her 2 1/2 year appointment, our pediatrician told us not to bother trying until well after the twins were born because she’d likely regress. She ended up self-training just before she turned three, but having to deal with 3 kids in diapers for 3 months was easier than trying to train her.
AwayEmily says
2.5 seems like a MUCH easier time to train than 22 months. I’d wait (FWIW my daughter was 23 months when my second was born and we trained her easily four months later).
Anon says
I would put it off. My daughter has been potty trained for 2 months and it’s still a lot of work with prompting her/getting her on the potty. Especially since your son is young, it could take quite a while to feel “fully potty trained” and have to deal with a newborn.
DLC says
I think a large part depends on the child- there is probably no best answer. My son was 2.5 when his little sister was born and although he was getting exposure to the toilet and encouragement at daycare, he really had no interest. We finally bit the bullet when quarantine happened and did the Oh Crap method (he was just over three and baby was six months) and the first week or so was painful, but it hasn’t been terrible since. Yes, there were a lot of messes to clean up, but we weren’t really going anywhere. I would say there is no harm in gently trying, especially if his nanny share buddy is also doing it, but if it isn’t working it is totally ok to wait. Your sanity is not worth pushing the issue.
anonn says
we did the Oh Crap! method and she has like a little test for readiness. the one I remember was when they’re able to sing their ABCs, but there were a few other signals, and she says 22-30 months is the ideal time. We read the book at 25 months and after reading that chapter and really paying attention to our daughter the next day realized she was ready. She would not have been ready even a few weeks prior. I really think we hit the magic window. So I’d read the book and see what you think from there. We haven’t had any set backs and its been a year. It took 2-3 days of naked time at home, then a week comando. (clothes but no underwear).
Pogo says
Fun kid stuff – 3yo has started telling us more stories about his day (which he didn’t do before the pandemic, I think he was too young/didn’t have the language) and it is hilarious to hear his version of events. “[Caregiver] makes me put my mask on when I stick my fingers in my mouth.” (me: good for her!) “I didn’t go into the enchanted forest today.” (unclear what the enchanted forest is) “[Caregiver’s daughter] mowed the lawn with the lawnmower!” (When I told her, she thought that was funny because it was definitely the other daughter who mowed it most recently).
He also tells his caregiver about us, like that I like flowers and I make him eat green beans, and that daddy has a power drill with a light on it. So interesting what sticks in their little brains! And one of the biggest joys of having him back in daycare (Aside from yknow being able to do my work…)
Boston Legal Eagle says
“I didn’t go into the enchanted forest today.” – I too wonder what that is but sounds like something amazing at daycare!
My 4 year old has been writing his name to practice. He wrote his name the other day while video chatting with grandpa and he added an extra “O”-looking letter at the beginning. When we asked what that was, he said (very confidently) that it was a penguin looking at his name.
AnotherAnon says
For some reason, I didn’t anticipate the mental leap of being able to recall events in the correct sequential order. I agree that it is surprising and fun. Lately, my 3 y/o’s best friend is a plastic box about the size of a pencil case, whom he named “Snoopy” (pronounced “Noopy”). Last night as he put his bath toys away he said “These are my kids. Night kids! See you later!” Kids are strange and wonderful.
Pogo says
omg, that’s too precious.
Lyssa says
That great! One thing I felt about ages – Despite its reputation, 3 year olds are harder work than 2 year olds. But they are much, much more interesting!
Anonymous says
These all made me smile. My middle turned four this week and I’m loving it. 3.75-5 are the best years IMO.
My oldest is still my favorite to *hang out* with, in that she’s basically a mini grown up and not yet a moody teen- we can do crafts and nail polish and watch movies and bake. But my 4 y/o is the best to play with and observe. Her imagination is wiiiiiiild.
Cb says
Oh so fun! T gives us hilarious synopses of his day, mostly about what he ate as his childminder thinks his adventurous tastes are hilarious and gives him all sorts of new food.
It’s funny, his language is incredible, his memory amazing, but his sense of time is hilariously off. He told his childminder ‘The other day Mummy took me to Sainsbury’s to buy dates for a snack before nursery’. I remember this event, it was snowing and it hasn’t snowed since Christmas. He also sadly remembers the toy that I disappeared ‘My James train which went to live with the little boy who didn’t have any trains’
Pogo says
This morning mine asked for a book which was in a donate pile… that he’s literally never asked for before. I’m trying to cull the toys and books but it is hard when they remember every single one!
Cb says
Argh, I sent a big bag with our cleaner for her grandson on Friday and I’m waiting for him to notice.
Anon says
You might try doing the culling with him? I got my 2 year old to pick out books to give to her old daycare room. She didn’t cull as many books as I would have (there are some book she never touches that she refused to part with) but she was on board with the concept and is so excited that the “little babies” (some of whom are just a few months younger than her, haha) will have her old books, so I don’t have to worry about her asking for them after they’re gone.
Anon says
Not a caregiver, but my husband was recently on the phone with his parents when my 2.5 year old started shouting “Mommy hates Grandpa! Mommy no like Grandpa! Hate him!!” It’s true that my father in law and I don’t get along at all but I’m SURE I have never said I hate him in her presence. I was sooo mortified but fortunately 2 year olds are hard to understand, especially over the phone, and my in laws kept saying “we can’t really understand what she’s saying…” Totally embarrassing but I was also weirdly proud of her for picking up on the subtleties of the relationship between me and FIL. Until later the same night we were putting her to bed and she started yelling “Mommy HATES trees!” So maybe it was just completely random.
Pogo says
I actually laughed out loud at this.
AwayEmily says
Not daycare-related, but…it had been a few days since I’d shaved and I was wearing a tank top yesterday. We were lounging outside when my 4yo asked me “why do you have hair underneath your arms, Mama? Is it so people don’t tickle you there?”
Anon says
Too funny! My 2 year old has definitely run her hands over my legs and said “Mommy’s legs so hairy!”
Quail says
A joke from my 5YO: “Who’s old and lives in [state]?….Grandma and Grandpa!” I don’t think we will be passing that cute anecdote along to G&G though. :)
Clementine says
I LOVE this. I love seeing how kids’ minds work.
My favorite 4 year old-ism was a couple nights ago. Kiddo was playing in his room before bed and suddenly he goes “Uh, MOMMMM. There was an incident….”
The incident involved awkward blanket bunching, but… his description of it as ‘an incident’ was too much.
Also, this morning, my not quite 2 year old kept running in yelling ‘BABY. Potty!’ (I was on the phone with my boss because: of course) and insisted I show how she had (proudly) sat her doll on top of the potty seat. The look of accomplishment on her face… it was incredible.
Anonanonanon says
My 2yo went #2 in the potty for the first time two days ago and was proudly telling our sitter and my parents (on the phone) that “it was a BIG one!” that evening during her bath she begged me to show her pictures of poop on my phone. She only wanted realistic ones and kept asking for more and saying “I need see a BIG ONE!” I finally put an end to it but it was strange/funny
Anon says
Hahahaha that’s hilarious. We went through a stage where she constantly wanted to see photos of animals pooping but it was fortunately brief. Her current obsession (thanks to my husband) is photos of Joe Biden eating ice cream. She can’t pronounce “J” very well so we always hear “GO Biiiiden! I want see Go Biden eat ice cream!!!”
Anon says
this is equally hilarious. and i feel like your daughter’s request should be videoed and shared with the biden campaign
Anon says
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it but I don’t really want her starring in a viral video. If these were normal times, I might try to take her to some sort of campaign rally or meet and greet so she could see him in person because I think she would FLIP OUT. (Although she would probably also start screaming about the lack of ice cream.)
Anonanonanon says
I LOLED AT THIS SO HARD. The idea of a kid wanting to see it in action is hilarious. At least it wasn’t that, though she probably would have loved it.
Also love the Joe Biden eating ice cream obsession.
Knope says
I also find it endlessly amusing to listen to my 3 year old tell me about his day. He spends about 5-6 hours a day outside, most of it at one of the many parks near our house. He has come up with names for all of the parks that are completely unrelated to their actual names – there is the “red park,” “music park,” “exercise park,” etc. It has taken us so long to figure out which park is which!
When his grandparents ask about his day on Facetime he also always highlights the most random things. Recent examples: “I saw a birdhouse on the ground and [nanny] said it was ’cause the wind blewed it over!” “It was not hot but I was drinkin water and it got all over my shirt” “We was going to the bee park but there were no butterflies.”
Ashley says
This is hilarious! Love threads like this. I have a 2.5 yo boy.
Kid: “Mommy, I wanna brush your hair!”
Me: *hands kid my wet brush (side note, these things are amazing*
Kid: *brushes my hair vigorously, creating tangles*
Me: “We need to brush it all the way to the end so it doesn’t get tangled, like this!” *demonstrates brushing slowly from root to tip*
Kid: “I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!” *runs away*
GCA says
Ahh, these are delightful! A month back, 23mo started saying ‘I love you, mama’ and snuggling up to me. Now, granted, this was a baldfaced bedtime stalling tactic, and she also says ‘I love ice cream all day’, but it’s adorable. Also, she tries to get out of diaper changes by saying ‘Nope. [Other parent] changed me.’
5yo recently produced his first self-generated visual pun: he put a clip-on tie on his tie-dye shirt and said ‘Look! It’s a TIE dye shirt.’
Anon says
My just turned four year old asked me if I wanted to know why The Grinch is his favorite movie. I asked why and he answered, “because the grinch is naked and how funny is that?!”
Pogo says
This shirt has too much of a Little House on the Prairie vibe for me.
TheElms says
@Walnut – TheElms.Corporette at g mail dot com
Walnut says
Emailed you!
Anonymous says
Just seeking some widsom from the group – very good friends of me and DH told us last night that they are expecting baby #2. Our son and their first child are one month apart. One of my roommates from college just had her first baby on Saturday. Our son is such a happy, happy baby right now at 16 months and has always been an easy child. My husband is an only child and is pretty firmly one and done. I was leaning towards OAD, but now I hear about all of this great news and am just thinking “BABY!” So, how do you tell if it’s baby fever/jealousy or you really want another?
I did not like pregnancy, nursing, and I’m sort of a worrier about money (we’re financially secure, but I just always wish there was more in the bank), so OAD is probably the best for me practically. I feel like i could have hundred reasons for being OAD, but “BABY!” just outweighs them all.
Anonymous says
I got baby fever at 16-17 months, which seems common, and got pregnant at 18 months haha.
Cb says
It’s weird, I’m very firmly OAD but a friend just had a baby and I was so, so jealous watching her breastfeed and wear her baby in the sling. I think it’s a sense of not wanting another baby, but one more day with my lovely easy baby (terrible sleeper but incredibly pleasant child).
Anon says
I am one and done and I definitely got huge waves of sadness when my close friends with same age first kids had their second kids. You can mourn that you and friends no longer have identical families without actually wanting a second child, and you can love snuggling newborns and also love giving them back to their parents. That said, if you have a gut feeling that you want more, I think most people can find a way to make it work despite any logistical hurdles there might be. My gut feeling has pretty much always been that my family is compete with one.
Anon says
Unless there are age constraints, you could take your time to decide – siblings don’t have to be 2-3 years apart. Also if your husband is one and done, has he weighed in yet?
In my experience, having a baby because other people are having babies is VERY common, but not necessarily a good reason to bring another person into the world.
Anonymous says
My husband is a very, very happy only child. I have two brothers. We’re not particularly close, I guess sort of neutral to each other is the best way to put it. I really, really, really hated the newborn stage (anything before 8 hours straight of sleep, which luckily happened for us at 7 weeks), had major PPD/PPA (still taking medication for this) and am worried that I’m no 34 and that the next child wouldn’t be easy, would potentially have some more challenges than our current baby. Someone posted here last week asking for recs on what to put in their hospital bag and I had a physical reaction to that since my labor/hosptial/newborn experience was so scarring.
I did ask my husband, “so, if we’re one and done, would you want to go ahead and schedule your vasectomy?” and he said “nope.” So, the door might be open a bit for him.
anon for this says
No one ever says “I wish I had fewer kids” but there are people who feel it, trust me.
anon says
+1. Dont underestimate how much work 2 is. It’s a pile of garabage when people tell you your life doesnt change much with each incremental child. IYou have to really WANT it because while the “incremental hard” might go down with each child, the “net hard of life” goes up. That being said, i love having two kdis and cannot imagine life any other way. There is significantly less free time for both me and my husband and we are both always “on” with two kids. When one person watches both, it’s MUCH more draining than when we had just one obviously.
Anon says
Agreed. You can have regrets or no regrets either way. It is naive think that only the fewer children option can result in regret.
I’m also not sure I would read too much into the vasectomy thing. My husband is one million percent one and done but is still dragging his feet about the V because he’s a pain wuss ;)
Anon says
Yeah, I’ve heard people say that 1 to 2 is much easier than 0 to 1, but that’s not what I’ve seen from my friends and not what I think would happen in my own family. Pre-pandemic, life with 2 adults and 1 kid was so easy. Our one child is a good sleeper so we have plenty of childfree time every evening and weekend afternoon, and a baby’s schedule would take a lot of that away. DH and I both did frequent solo outings with our kiddo to give the other one time off, and I don’t think either of us would be eager to manage two kids solo on a regular basis. My parents visit often and love watching our toddler, but I don’t think they would be comfortable watching two kids at once, at least not until the kids were much older. Travel is a lot harder with two. I just don’t see how adding a second wouldn’t totally disrupt the balance we have, and give us a lot less individual time and couple time. But our fist didn’t really disrupt our lives at all. Maybe if you feel like you changed your whole life to accommodate your first then adding a second isn’t such a big deal.
Anon says
My husband and I sound a lot like you guys. I’m a very happy only child, and my husband has one sibling he’s not close to at all. I had the best childhood. I was and am super close to my parents, but never felt smothered, and I got to do a lot of things (cool summer camps, family travel, expensive private college) that wouldn’t have been financially doable for our family if I had a sibling. I once read a comment here that said something like all only children would gladly give up all the fun stuff like travel in exchange for a sibling bond but.. I wouldn’t? Maybe that makes me selfish but I have never once wanted a sibling and am extremely grateful for all the things my only child status afforded our family.
We have a long list of reasons we’re one and done, but finances are a big one for us too. Of course there are less affluent people who have kids but paying for college in full is really important to DH and saving really well for retirement is really important to me and if we had two kids we couldn’t do those things without major lifestyle changes. I have never seriously questioned our decision to stop at one. But when my best friend (who is really like a sister) told me she was pregnant with her second (our firsts were born the same month) I cried my eyes out and then told my husband I wanted to pull the goalie. He pointed out, very rationally, that my BFF wants 4 or 5 kids so there was no way our families would look the same forever. He said we could have a second if I wanted but it had to come from me, not from trying to keep up with friends. A week later I was back to being one and done. And then I was REALLY one and done when my friend had her baby and I saw how hard two under two is haha :)
Tl;dr, there are plenty of good reasons for a second baby but keeping up with friends isn’t one.
anon says
I think the first paragraph is so interesting. You’re never guaranteed to have a great sibling bond anyway! My sibling is a complete mess and that definitely influenced my decision (there are many other factors) to be one and done.
layered bob says
I’ve always wanted a pile of children, so coming from a different starting place than you/your husband – but before every baby, I can always think of a hundred reasons not to have more. All the practical, realistic, “logical” realities of the world are 100% against more children. But yes, “BABY!” outweighs them all.
Anon says
so i have total baby fever…but we are definitely done as we have twins (even though i know three people with twins around our kids’ age and they just had their third). we weren’t sure if we wanted one or two and never wanted three, so when we ended up with twins, in some ways it was the best thing for us (despite how challenging it is) because i am the most indecisive person and would probably spend a lot of time contemplating. But now that my twins are 2 and really aren’t babies anymore, i really miss the stage of like 8-14 months. and i had really bad ppd/ppa and i kind of want a redo of the newborn stage. and i know this is silly, but since are done and there are so many things we are missing out on this summer due to Covid, i can’t help but feeling sad that i will never take a 2 year old to the beach or the zoo or to do a myriad of other activities that i think would put a huge smile on my kids faces. for me, at least i know i want a third baby, but i do not actually want to raise a third kid
Anon says
YES to the “I will never do X with a 2 year old” sadness during covid. I know that realistically 2 is the hardest age for travel and if I had to pick a year of my daughter’s life to be grounded, this was the best one. But they change SO FAST at this age and they’re so curious about the world around them and it’s just so much fun having adventures with them, so it’s hard not to grieve all the things we’re missing out on (especially because I’m not optimistic I will do them with a 3 or 4 year old either…if I thought next summer would be even halfway normal, it would be easier).
Although I will say that I think a beach and an outdoor zoo are pretty low risk activities and you can do them if you want to! We certainly did this summer, and it was a lot of fun.
Anon says
we live in TX where cases are surging and despite being required to, people don’t wear masks and it is currently a million degrees outside. we were also supposed to take them to visit family in the DC and NY areas, so i was really thinking about the National Zoo and the beach in the northeast
Anon4This says
Hey, fellow Texan who lived in DC and NY for a total of almost 2 decades before moving back. YMMV, but the heat between DC and NY and many places in Texas (esp the Gulf Coast areas) isn’t that different in the peak of summer. Texas generally has better coping mechanisms for heat because it’s hot for so much longer (e.g. A/C, and those outdoor sprinkler things at restaurants and bars). The hottest I’ve ever felt were my summers in NY (not a lot of money, so just had one window unit for the apartment at best…)
I’ve seen and heard people comply with masking pretty well here, but I’m also in the inner part of a major city, and have heard folks are worse in the suburbs/exurbs and smaller towns.
Pogo says
+ a million to the “not being able to do x with a y year old”. I am realizing there are so many things kiddo has never seen in real life because before pandemic he was too young/didn’t care. Particularly carousels, he’s had a fascination with those lately. I keep thinking about how we were planning to take him on the big one in Jardin du Luxembourg when we were going to be in Paris this spring. Obviously that is a total first world problem but I get teary ever time he asks me about carousels now.
Anon says
Aww, I’m sorry! You will get to Paris eventually and I’m sure he will still love the carousel! I love to travel, but I think I’m mourning the every day stuff even more. My daughter still remembers grocery shopping and restaurants but has accepted that they’re “closed” for now, but she watched a Peppa episode where they go grocery shopping, and she kept saying “Peppa’s grocery store is open! Peppa can go grocery shopping. We can’t go shopping because grocery store closed.” I know she’s not actually devastated about not going grocery shopping, but ooof it’s hard to hear! I also randomly showed her a video of a figure skating event because she’s been talking about ice skating recently (also inspired by Peppa) and she saw all the people in the stands and said “Why the people so close? Where is the yellow tape?” And I didn’t really know how to answer so I just said “This was before…when things were more open.” And she was like “Oh. Yeah. It’s before.” The degree to which even very young children are internalizing this is really gut-wrenching.
Pogo says
yes, exactly. It is so sad and hard to hear. I think they’re handling it way better than us, and to my son “carousels” are in the same category as “dinosaurs” – things he knows a lot about but has never actually seen and just believes in because they’re in books. So it’s not like he’s suffering, but yeah… ugh. The Peppa comments are so sweet and sad at the same time.
Anonymous says
I would say just give it time. If you are still feeling the feels in another 6-12 months, revisit. You may not be done. Or, you may be totally and completely done.
I knew we wanted a second when we had my first, but i didn’t feel ready until she was 2+. When we had my second, I knew we wanted. 3rd and was so overwhelmed we decided to go for 3 ASAP or I knew I’d never go back for more. My oldest and middle are 3.5 years apart and my middle and younger are 20 months apart. The first few years were HARD but we are out of those dark dark times and they are a joy. DH got a vasectomy after our 3rd and while it felt fleetingly weird and permanent, neither of us wants anymore kids ;).
anon says
Curious how old your children are now to say you are out of the dark dark times? I want to murder someone when people say oh just wait, it will get SO MUCH HARDER. and i want to say harder than being woken up multiple times, not being able to eat, use the bathroom, put a bandaid on when you get hurt without screaming and people climbing all over you??? I don’t know how i’ll survive. I have a 2 year old and 9 month old for reference
Anonymous says
I’ll say that for us, now that ours are 2 and 4, it’s much easier. Still hard, but not as hard as it was. Hang in there!
Anonymous says
It gets better! I have a 7 and 3 year old and while I still break up fights and am very needed, they are both very independent. My husband and I sat at the dinner table last night after they both finished and were excused, eating and finishing up a glass of wine, while they played together upstairs for like 30 minutes. It’s like a whole new world.
Anonymous says
Every age has its moments but I have liked every new age better, and I think we really turned a corner around age 5. (My 8 year old son is still somewhat all over me but he’s more touchy feely and afraid of being alone than most).
DLC says
I have and eight year old (plus a 3 year old and an infant) and it hasn’t gotten easier for me. I find it so much more mentally exhausting now that I have a thinking, feeling, reasoning, growing person to be responsible for. The physical exhaustion of the baby is easier for me to handle than the everything of the eight year old- like I feel so much more pressure to make sure she turns into a decent human being. But then again, I think I’ve always been a baby person. I think it’s different for everyone.
Anonymous says
I was the poster above. Sorry it’s late. Mine are 2.5, 4.5 and 7. Nearly all potty trained.
It’ll be harder again when they are teenagers but for now, it’s better. They play a lot together. They can talk and put on their own shoes.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’ve always wanted more than 1 and my husband was ok with either 1 or 2, so we went ahead and had 2 close in age. Let me tell you that a baby + toddler is no joke, and that your friend will soon have a lot more work to do! Not to say that you shouldn’t have 2 if you want them, but that extra person comes with a lot more work and responsibility. Also you say that your husband is firmly one and done – that is not a situation where you want to bring in another child without many many more conversations because it needs to be all hands on deck in the early years. The money, childcare, other logistics can be managed but you need to make sure that both of you are on the same page with wanting more.
Anon says
I think there are a lot of great reasons to have another child, but doing it because a friend is having one is a terrible reason.
anon says
I get it and have definitely had those BABY! feelings. But given everything you’ve shared, I would sit on this for awhile. and make sure your head is speaking as well as your heart. If you’ve been solidly OAD until now, having a baby + toddler will rock your world. FWIW, we always wanted two kids, but due to reasons outside our control, we ended up having a 5-year age difference between them. As a parent, that’s been more awesome than I expected. I feel like I get to savor every age with both kids rather than gutting through it, if that makes sense. You say you’re 34 — you don’t need to decide this second, you know?
Anon says
Just wanted to say I really appreciate this thread — I posted about whether to have kid 2 a few weeks ago. Kid 1 is 14 months and both DH and I have a bit of BABY fever, but we’re still thinking about it. We thought we were OAD but are now both revisiting that a bit. It is such a hard decision and I have no good suggestions. I just wanted OP to know that you definitely aren’t alone in finding this hard and not knowing how to make the decision.
Anonymous says
OP here – thank you! It’s good to know I’m not alone.
Anon says
I really struggled with the baby stage but as my child grew more and more into a little person, I discovered much more joy in parenting and found I wanted another child in our family. My husband was reluctant at first, but when the newborn craziness eased and I sat down and talked about my dreams for the future, he came fully on board and was even more excited and involved than he was the first time around. I don’t know if there is any one right answer for every family. We all just do our best. I think you have to take time to self-reflect and then talk with your partner about how you feel either way.
Audrey III says
Anyone have a weekly planner whiteboard that goes on their fridge that they love?
Spirograph says
Yes! I can’t find the exact one, but it’s similar to this: https://www.amazon.com/Smart-Planner-Multi-Purpose-Magnetic-Refrigerator/dp/B01E45C04A/
Things I like:
-notes section
-plenty of free text space
-flexible (vs a framed calendar), sticks to the fridge better
I do menu planning in the last line for each day, and color code standing appointments (back when there were activities) vs one-offs to make it easy for me to see what I can erase at the end of the week. Notes section has a shopping list and To-Do task list
Audrey III says
Thank you!!
Anonymous says
Game suggestions for a 4 year old? Favorites right now are memory matching games, Snail’s Pace Race, and Hoot Owl Hoot.
avocado says
At that age my daughter liked Chutes and Ladders, Sorry!, Trouble, Uno, Crazy 8s, Old Maid, and Go Fish. We found a card holder useful for card games. My nephew around that age is into Sneaky Snacky Squirrel.
anon says
My 4 yo loves Sequence for kids. It’s fun for adults because it’s actually a strategy game, and doubly fun because our 4 yo can actually follow the strategy and often wins.
CCLA says
Check out Tiny Dots. There are a lot of things you can do with it, but my almost 4-yo loves when we “play” by each taking a stack and taking turns sorting all the dot cards under the appropriate numeral. It has suggestions for other ways to play as they get older. She chose it last night over hoot owl hoot. Also not quite a game but she really loves puzzles, which we sometimes do in lieu of a game at night…DH and I do about 80% of the puzzle but we usually give her a section to work on and she does a good job.
Anonymous says
I hate Candyland, but my kids love it.
+1 to simple card games, like War and Go Fish.
Set (start with only one pattern to make it a little easier)
Racko (4 may be a liiiiitle young, but if your 4 year old can count and read numbers it’s pretty fun)
anon says
Tiny Dots, Sneaky Snacky Squirrel, any matching game.
Anonymous says
Outfoxed, Stack Up, and Sneaky Snacky Squirrel were the three games we started with when Kiddo turned 4. Outfoxed is definitely the most enjoyable for me, and as he’s gotten older, he seems to request it more than the others. The others were good for teaching simpler game mechanics. Race to the Treasure is another fun cooperative game that a 4 year old can understand.
anon says
Curious how old your children are now to say you are out of the dark dark times? I want to murder someone when people say oh just wait, it will get SO MUCH HARDER. and i want to say harder than being woken up multiple times, not being able to eat, use the bathroom, put a bandaid on when you get hurt without screaming and people climbing all over you??? I don’t know how i’ll survive. I have a 2 year old and 9 month old for reference
Cb says
Yeah, honestly, until my son slept through the night (18 months), I was pretty miserable. My nearly 3 year old is easy peasy 90% of the time, and I’m sure he will eventually go through a tantrum-y phase, but nothing will be worse than the sleep deprivation, constant nursing, sense of constant panic that something could happen to this little tiny child.
OP says
Oops, threading fail.
anon says
IME, you’re at peak “hard” right now. Ignore the people who say it’s going to get worse. No. No sleep, disrupted mealtimes and always being “on” is as physically hard as it gets.
Pogo says
I have no idea, maybe like 10 years? But I will say both my parents and my in-laws have severe amnesia about how hard it is, so that makes me hopeful I will forget all this madness some day. And coworkers with teenaged kids will relate when I tell stories of trying to get the baby to sleep and doing anything, but then say… “I can’t remember which kid it was, but we’d do [xyz]”. The first time a friend said that to me I was like, how could you possibly not remember which of your kids was the terrible sleeper”!!?!? But I guess 10 years later it all blends together.
Hugs. This pandemic is making everything so much harder.
avocado says
Hang in there–you are right in the thick of it, and it will only get better from here. Things improve in stages, and I suspect it’s highly kid-dependent. Big milestones for us were sleeping through the night, crawling (mobility made baby so much happier and so much more independent), eating large quantities of solids (life is easier when baby is not constantly starving), weaning, and the end of the onslaught of day care germs. I found parenting easiest from age 1 (and especially after the day care illnesses slowed down at age 2.5) through the beginning of kindergarten. It began to get progressively more difficult again starting in elementary school, but big kid challenges are much different.
Anon says
That’s interesting. I know a lot of people say parenting tweens and obviously teens is emotionally challenging, but most people have told me early elementary school, like ages 5-10 or so, are the easiest and most fun years, because they have the skills to be pretty independent but they still adore spending time with their parents and are eager to please.
avocado says
I found elementary school to have the worst logistical challenges of any age range. After-school care, transportation to activities, and summer day camps were the absolute worst and did permanent damage to my career and sanity. We also had a bit of drama related to school and sports, which you would not have to deal with if your kid’s school met her educational needs and she didn’t decide at age 4 that she was wholly devoted to a rather insane sport. I think for most people the emotional drama doesn’t really kick in until middle school.
Anonymous says
I’m finding elementary school to be the golden time. They are still (mostly) sweet and enjoy spending time with their family. And at least in my area/school district, things are well set up to provide care for kids (at least in non-pandemic times). There are logistical struggles, but I think there always will be. I’m a little scared of the tween/teen years, as I have girls and know all of the emotional stuff that comes with that…
Anonanonanon says
The first couple of years of elementary school were, as avocado mentioned, a big logistical adjustment. School is much less reliable than daycare and dealing with last-minute weather closures/delays/early dismissals was a particularly difficult adjustment. Even though my child is in public school, his childcare costs the same as our infant’s in-home daycare does a year because Summer arrangements are very expensive. Adding in activities was a lot to manage, as well. Also, while I logically knew this was the case, recognizing that vacations, travel, etc. had to be worked around school district holidays was inconvenient as well.
However, child-wise, elementary school has been very, very nice.
AwayEmily says
You are definitely in the some of the worst times. My kids are also about 2 years apart and I’d say there were three major inflection points of improvement: first, when everyone was consistently sleeping through the night (for us, ~4 months). Second, when the baby started confidently walking (for us, ~14 months). And third, when the kids started actively playing together (for us ~20 months). Kids are now 2.5 and 4.5 and, while challenging sometimes, it is nowhere NEAR the mental and physical train-wreck of the baby’s first year.
CCLA says
We are about 6 months behind you, and have had a similar experience so far with various turning points. I expect the big inflection to be when the little one gets closer to 3 and can be trusted without near constant supervision, if she follows the trajectory of big sis (who is nearly 4 and basically a delight 99% of the time for the past year). I’m sure older kid angst will come eventually but loving the cusp of age 4.
AwayEmily says
YES to trusting the kids to be alone in a room together, I forgot about that huge inflection point. That only happened for us in the last couple of months (a bit after the little one turned 2)…now after the kids are done with dinner, they run into the other room to play and my husband and I just SIT together at the dinner table and it is wonderful. I mean, we often only get ten minutes before someone needs something, but that’s still SO MUCH BETTER than the baby phase when you had to be up your kid’s butt every second to make sure they didn’t fling themselves down the stairs.
anon says
+1 These were the big inflection points for us, though ours were sleeping reliably a bit later. Other important milestones were:
The point where both kids were big enough that you could trust them to stay with me and not bolt into traffic or wander off. I really struggled to go out alone with an 11 month old who would run super fast in the opposite direction of the running 2.5 yo. This got better around 2 yo and 4 yo.
At 2.5 and 4.5 yo the kids learned to go downstairs by themselves on Saturday morning. The oldest gets them yogurt from the fridge and turns on TV so we can lie in a bit. Life changing.
At 3.5 and 5.5 yo we hit a point where the kids could play together without adult intervention for 2-3 hours. I can actually read a book, do chores, or have a hobby again. It’s amazing.
Anon says
I have heard a lot of people say kids turn a corner around 3.5-4. My OB told me a couple years ago that her 5 year old daughter gets herself dressed and fixes her own breakfast every morning, which blew my mind. I can’t wait for that level of independence! My daughter is 2.5 and while there’s a lot I love about this age, like her imagination and increased ability to communicate, we have what feels like a dozen meltdowns every day and she can be such a monster when she doesn’t get her way. I don’t know much to blame her age vs the pandemic though.
Anon says
i have 2 year old twins whose life hasn’t changed that that much due to the pandemic and i think it is the age more than the pandemic, as mine also have a dozen meltdowns daily. i actually really miss when they were 10 months old. they slept through the night, were generally good nappers, could crawl, didn’t care that much if i was in the room ( i literally once sat on the couch and read a whole book), and i didn’t have to teach them really how to behave. granted from a physical standpoint, this age is much easier
Anon says
You’re probably right about the meltdowns just being her age. I do feel like I’ve seen a regression in sharing and her ability to cope with not getting her way since daycare closed, although I’m probably hypersensitive to it since she’s an only child and I’m aware of all the negative stereotypes. She’s supposed to go back in a couple weeks, it will be interesting to see if there’s any change to her behavior.
Spirograph says
I agree with this. My youngest will be 4 soon, and at this point they are all self-toileting, can get themselves dressed, help themselves to snacks, sleep well, and communicate with words rather than tantrums when something is wrong (most of the time). They play together independently and entertain themselves, and I only need to get involved if a physical fight breaks out. There are new things to worry about, but it is not nearly as physically exhausting.
2.5 and 9 months is TOUGH. It really only goes up from here (unless you add a third kid, and even then, at least the older two will have each other while you’re dealing with the baby). Hang in there!!
Anon for this says
Agreed. 4 was a big turning point. And, related to the other post, 4 was when I felt ready to have another kid. So now we have a 5.5 year old and a 10 month old. I will say while the physical challenges get easier, the parenting challenges get harder: consequences, boundaries, friend issues, explaining racism/protests, etc etc. But it is so fun, in a new way.
Anon says
it will likely not get physically harder. you are in the thick of things. mine are still little too, but from what I hear, it gets emotionally harder as they get older, but physically easier
Anonanonanon says
I felt like my first became a human again at 4 and it’s gotten better ever since. He’s 10 now so I’m sure there are some rough years ahead, but there have been a lot of great/mostly-easy ones so far!
Boston Legal Eagle says
I hate it when people say “just wait.. (it only gets harder/big kids big problems/you have no idea of hard until you have a teenager).” It’s really not helpful when you’re dealing with two little ones. You ARE at a hard stage and it’s ok to look for some light at the end of the tunnel. I would never have had kids if I thought they were going to be 6 months + 3, or 1.5 + 4 forever. No thank you. Sure, they are cute and their constant learning is so amazing to watch, but they require a lot from me physically right now. I know that older kids will have their own set of challenges, but the physical part of constantly needing to be on with them should go away.
And if it helps, when my youngest was born and for the first few months and older was 2.5, my husband and I collapsed onto the couch every night from the sheer exhaustion. They’re 21 months and 4 now, and still hard, but they have consistent bed times, consistent nap times for the toddler, and we have a rhythm. And they can sort of, almost, play together.
Anon says
My child just turned 3 and we are not. We just potty trained (pretty successfully this go-round, unlike 6 months ago) and to me that is so much worse (right now – I’m sure it will get better) than diapers because she has to go (or at least try to go) way more frequently than we changed her diapers (seriously kid, I promise if you just peed you do not need to again 15 minutes later, but we’re encouraging all the potty sitting so FML), needs (wants) my (and only my) assistance to do so and it’s always “right now” (vs. a diaper could wait 5 minutes for me to finish a thought or wind up a call). She doesn’t sleep through the night (never has), is a barnacle that is constantly touching me or if not then engaging in death defying feats like a circus performer and while the number of tantrums has gone down, the intensity has increased. We are sorely missing the outlet preschool provided. While we desperately want and are trying for no. 2, the tiny blessing I can see about being still at one is that she is A LOT and I think she’s going to be closer to 4 or 5 before before we enter this magical kid stage of mostly independent.
anon says
I have about a dozen friends whose kids range from just turned 3 to just over 3.5, and we are all solidly in agreement that the first few months after 3 are super hard, and then by 3.5 things smooth out a bit. So there’s hope!
SC says
The first step out of the dark, dark times is sleeping through the night. After that, 3 was the age my son gained more independence–potty trained, using more words, eating in a regular chair, playing by himself for longer stretces. My son is 5, and he can get himself dressed and can get his own water and snacks. He also can be super helpful, and not just in the “encourage kids to help even though it takes longer” way.
Anonymous says
Oh yeah you are in peak hard. Once you can sleep through the night it all gets better.
Anon says
I had severe preeclampsia and delivered my second child a month early (had no issue with my first), both kids are now happy, smart, delightful. I had always wanted to have 3. My doctor has advised against it; apparently in subsequent pregnancies preeclampsia usually presents earlier, so in addition to the risk to my own health I would be at higher risk of a significantly premature birth. Given I have two healthy marvelous kids and a demanding career, I agree that its not worth the gamble to my health or to taking on the significant additional strain of a premature child. But…I just feel sad about it, I see people/friends with 3 or having a third and it bums me out. I know I am so ridiculously lucky with the two I have. But any tips for how to move toward acceptance and get over this? Or will I just always be sad about it?
Anonymous says
How old are your kids? I think this is something that doesn’t go away, but definitely dulls with time. I wanted one more kid than I actually have, but for practical reasons we are done. I still feel a little pang when I see a family that is the “ideal” size I wanted, but as I get farther and farther from the baby stages, it’s easier to be happy I’m done.
Anonymous says
Therapy. You’re grieving and therapy is great to process it. You might always be sad, but a wistful sad that comes infrequently not a constant sad that interferes with enjoying the life you do have.
Anonymous says
I would get a second opinion, especially considering you had a healthy first pregnancy. You can inquire about specific risk factors for preeclampsia and ask about the efficacy of low-dose aspirin as prophylaxis during any future pregnancies.
Anonymous says
Agree about the second opinion. I had HELLP syndrome at 34 weeks with my first and so far only. It’s similiar to/related to preeclampsia, though reoccurance stats might be different – I’m not sure. I asked two OBs in my OB practice if they thought I should be one and done and they both said no, not if I wanted another child. I may be one and done anyway, but I just thought I’d mention that there will be differing opinions on stuff like this. (Though re: low dose aspirin prophylaxis, I did it and still got HELLP, so it’s not a silver bullet!)
anon says
I have one child and would like a second, but because of my age it is probably not possible. You are not alone. I’m slowly getting towards acceptance. I don’t think any of us ends up with exactly the family we expected, but it is hard to give up what I imagined and embrace what I have.
Anon says
Im in the same situation. I would recommend seeing a high risk dr and getting their advice if you really want another.
Penny says
I’d recommend seeing a high risk dr
Anon says
Any favorite push toys for 1 year olds learning to walk? I made the mistake of reading amazon reviews and now I’m overthinking it — so many don’t turn or have really loud wheels, but it seems inevitable that these toys will be obnoxious anyway.
Ifiknew says
Vtech walker. It’s as awesome as the 8 million reviews say on Amazon
avocado says
Noooooo! My then-12-year-old was a mother’s helper last summer for her cousin who was obsessed with that thing. A year later, she can still sing “Welcome to our learning farm.”
NYCer says
You can turn the music off easily FWIW.
Anon says
It’s still a nice toy if you don’t put the batteries in.
Anon says
My kid is 3 and I can still sing the whole refrain. But she LOVED it.
SC says
Ha. My SIL and BIL gave this to my son for his first birthday and literally apologized to us. He’s 5, and I can still sing “Welcome to Our Learning Farm” :-)
anon says
“Welcome to our learning farm…” AHHHHH!!!!
anon says
Yep this, minus the batteries. My local groups always have a bunch being passed on for free, so you can look for a used one to decrease buying new plastic, if that’s important to you.
Pogo says
Annoying, yes. But d*mn do kids love that thing.
NYCer says
We had the V-Tech Sit to Stand Learning Walker. Purchased on Amazon. My daughter loved it, and still occasionally still likes to push it around now even though she has been walking alone for 6 months. Many of our friends all used the V-Tech.
strollerstrike says
No recommendation but I will speak out against the Melissa and Doug alligator walker. While it looks adorable it is super light and my son tips over a lot. Glad I got it used and didn’t pay full price for it. I usually really like their toys.
Io says
The Ikea Mula walker is the best. It’s rubber wheels are sturdy enough to be in or outside, kids can put things in and push them around And it has no garbage plastic components. (The tot lot near us had 15 VTech walkers at one point.)
DLC says
We have the Radio Flyer Walker wagon. The wheels do make a loud clicking sound but I like that it has a longer life than other walkers. We’ve had ours for eight years and the kids still use it- they fill it up with things and push it around the house. Good for you storage too.
AwayEmily says
We have this one and i find it annoying because it’s near-impossible to turn without lifting it entirely off the ground.
Ashley says
Yes +1 to the annoyance that it can’t turn. This thing went in the closet for about a year.
Ashley says
I should say… kiddo would get so frustrated and screech about not being able to turn corners with it. We gave up for a while and it has now reemerged after age 2.
Help w/ supply says
Hoping to get some tips on boosting milk supply. Second baby, she’s 5.5 months, and I send her with three 5-oz bottles and 2 oz for cereal to cover 9 hours of care. This week I’ve struggled and had to pump when waking and after bedtime to get enough; with my first five years ago, and also up until this week, I was an overproducer.
Any ideas? Is this a normal slump? I have tried hydration and I consistently get 7 hours of sleep per night (at the expense of house cleanliness and any kind of exercise or entertainment… isn’t parenting the best?!).
Anon says
you could try power pumping. it worked well for me to increase supply. are you eating enough?
OP says
I am unfamiliar with power pumping but I will look it up, thanks. I am WFH so pumping frequency really isn’t an issue for me at this point (and I’m thankful for that!).
Good point about intake. I am consistently eating ~2200 calories per day. 5’4″, 210 lbs. Low carb-ish, though, but I’ve been doing that since I was pregnant
Anon says
Has your period come back yet? I always got a dip in my supply around then but it did come back after. I think it started around 6ish months. The other thing was nursing more vs pumping, which there wasn’t really much that could be done. I tried all sort of different food and supplements but it wasn’t clear that it made a difference.
OP says
Yes, how could I have forgotten that I had some spotting over the weekend! Good grief. That was an unwelcome return (although it was only for a day, but this is my guess). Thank you, thank you for asking.
Cb says
Totally anecdata but Starbucks Oat Milk hot chocolate. I always pumped 2 ounces more the day after having one of these.
OP says
This sounds delicious. No oat milk at the Starbucks near me but I can pick some up at the grocery. Thank you!
Anon says
I tried power pumping, drinking tea that was supposed to boost milk production, massaging my breasts before and during pumping, and none of it made a difference. I don’t say this to discourage you, but I think sometimes you reach a point where it’s healthier to accept it is time to bring in some formula rather than drive yourself crazy. A lot of bloggers and lactation consultants imply you can boost the amount of milk you make, but for some moms, that is just an exercise in frustration. The only thing that helped me was pumping extra at night and on weekends to have more to bring to daycare, but even then, I didn’t get a ton more milk and I lost previous hours of sleep that I really needed.
OP says
Thanks. Yes, there is a lot of push to troubleshoot (hence my post…) and sometimes just acceptance that it’s decreasing is the healthiest route. Thank you for providing this perspective.
AwayEmily says
I am a broken record on this but the best thing I ever did for my post-partum mental health with both kids was to leave formula at daycare, send the kid with whatever milk I’d pumped the day before, and tell daycare “feed her the milk first, and if that runs out give her formula.” It freed me from worrying about supply, doing milk math, or anything else. It is so, so freeing. She ended up having formula maybe once a week, and I got SO much room in my brain back.
OP says
This is helpful. Obviously I would like to continue providing only milk, but if I need to supplement, this is a gentle reminder that it will be okay. I am all for minimizing anxiety about this. Thank you.
Supply says
As a warning, I tried to do this when my supply dropped (also with the second kid, also around 4-5 months) and my baby refused formula, for days, and it was very stressful for everyone and resulted in reverse cycling which destroyed my sleep. With this stubborn baby, I think I would have had to go cold turkey for formula, have her cry it out until she got so hungry she relented, and basically stop nursing which I did not want to do. Oatmeal, Mother’s Milk Tea, drinking lots of water, and a fenugreek supplement have helped me to boost output. I also had oversupply for the first few months and with my first child the whole first year, so it was super frustrating all around. I have two months left until baby can drink cow’s milk and I am just holding on. Fingers crossed your baby loves formula!!!
Anon. says
I have a longer reply in mod, but my first absolutely refused straight formula, but was happy to drink a blend. We started a 1 oz formula to 5 oz milk and worked up to 50/50 blend.
GCA says
My first kid was a formula refuser (so stressful!) but not picky about bottles. My second took formula like a champ when I traveled for work, but only wanted warm bottles of a specific type. (I can’t win.)
OP, it could be your period causing a normal hormonal dip in supply, and may not be permanent, especially at this age. I would get a little container of formula to leave at daycare, try to avoid stressing out about supply, allow baby to nurse whenever she wants when you’re together, and see if supply returns.
anon says
this!!! as I understood from previous discussions here, a majority breastmilk diet is what counts. i stopped beating myself up and bought a specific brand “for moms who choose to introduce formula” (thank you for the empowering branding, similac) and it was incredibly freeing. I send what i pump and usually one formula bottle per day. 9mos PP, period has returned (so saw a few dips from that) and now LO eating more solids (another slight dip there) but it’s all working out OK. I wish I had done it sooner but I took all matters of feeding/weight gain incredibly personal. good luck OP!
Anon says
+1 million. It’s the presence of breastmilk that matters, not the absence of formula. I didn’t really have supply issues once my milk came in, but supplementing with formula in the first week did wonders for my postpartum mental health. And because I had already supplemented and my baby didn’t have that “virgin gut” or whatever it is that EBFing is supposed to give you, I didn’t feel pressure to pump a certain quantity when I went back to work which made my return to work a lot easier and less stressful. I did pump a bit at work, but we switched to all formula during the workday fairly quickly, and I kept nursing nights and weekends for another year. Nursing was a much more positive experience for me than for many of my friends who had to get a produce a certain number of ounces every day and felt like dairy cows. I’m so grateful to the pediatricians who gave me permission to supplement and told me even a partial breastmilk diet would give my child the vast majority of the benefits of exclusive breastfeeding. I hate that so many people – lactation consultants especially – see it as a choice between breastfeeding and formula, because the combination works great for many people, and in many cases supplementing actually lengthens the duration of the breastfeeding relationship.
anon says
+3
Anon. says
This is not what you asked, so feel free to ignore if you want to go a different direction. We add a few oz of formula to the daycare bottles when I don’t keep up with the pumping. We did it with my first around 8 months and my husband initiated it a little earlier with my second who is 6.5 months now. I am so grateful he started because it eliminates the anxiety for me of “did I pump enough today?” and it means I don’t have to pump other than at work. Little girl doesn’t notice a thing when it’s a blend. (We tried just straight formula, she made a face but choked it down.) I have no supply issues for her on weekends just don’t get as much from the pump.
Thank you to whoever it was a few years ago that posted here that combo feeding was a thing.
layered bob says
For me it’s (in order of importance), hydration, calories, sleep, stress. Sounds like you’re already covered on hydration and sleep.
Re calories, I think (at least for me) the oatmilk/oatmeal/beer/this food or that food is really about increasing your caloric intake… I can start decreasing calories without losing my supply after 12-14 months but not before then.
And stress – I can never pump anything when I’m stressed, even when I can feel there’s milk in there, so mentally accepting some formula supplementation was always useful to me to reduce my stress around pumping (and once I bought formula and decided to start giving it I’d always be able to pump more, ha).
Birthday Party Timing says
It’s also worth considering the age of your pump parts. I always forget they do wear out. I’m in a similar situation with my 9 month old and have a new set on the way. Hopefully they work!
Anonanonanon says
Another Nanny question.
Getting ready to hire and pay on the books. In addition to that, is there anything we need to do in terms of liability? If she falls down our stairs and breaks her leg and decides our staircase wasn’t up to code or something (random example, clearly not an attorney) do we get sued like an employer might? Is this workers comp coverage or do we need some kind of separate liability coverage, or is that possibly already in our homeowner’s insurance?
Anon says
It’s worker’s comp and you should have it. I think (? it was a while ago now) that Homepay made it easy to purchase through them.
CCLA says
You should have workers comp, but your homeowners probably already has this so start there. I’d consider an umbrella policy too if you don’t have one already, but workers comp is (it was for us) a state requirement.
Anonanonanon says
Thank you both! It looks like it’s not a requirement in our state but is so cheap it’s definitely worth getting it. I’ll ask my husband (these tasks are in his realm of responsibility) to review our homeowner’s insurance to see what it provides in terms of protection as well.
Thank you!
anon says
Talk with your insurance agent. In my case, I needed to buy a workers’ comp rider (around $500/year)—what came with the homeowner’s insurance covered only occasional employees and I needed a rider for a regular nanny.
Anon says
Workers comp is required in some states, but probably smart to carry anyhow. I’m literally signing up for ours today (we’re in Mass). The rate I pay is set by our state, which is about $280/year. Super small dollars for the protection. We are using HomePay (which is $75/mo plus $100 year end fee) and they alerted us to this requirement.
Anonymous says
I am switching jobs and will need childcare, but our beloved daycare center is still closed. We’re going to interview a different center tomorrow. What sort of things should we ask? Beyond whether they follow CDC guidelines, etc. Thanks!
Anon says
Can you tour? Touring and seeing what the kids are doing and how happy they seem is far more informative than any interview, but I realize places might not be doing tours now because of Covid. I would also want a detailed list of all their Covid procedures, not just a “we follow CDC guidelines” statement because I think either the CDC is super vague or they are state-specific guidelines or both. Our center says “we follow the CDC” but is totally different than other centers that also say “we follow the CDC.”
Anonanonanon says
Excellent point, definitely ask them to be more specific. Specific questions I would ask are:
-How does the drop-off/pickup procedure work during COVID?
-What measures do you have in place to screen staff?
-What prevention measures are in place in the classroom?
-Where do children eat, and what is the setup like?
-Are there any teachers or staff who rotate through different classrooms?
-How has the illness policy changed in light of COVID? (how will they balance understanding that kids have runny noses while also being vigilant)
-Masking
-How is outdoor play done in COVID? Are multiple groups out at once or do they maintain the cohort?
-Who else enters the building (pest management, food vendors, delivery people, etc.) and is masking enforced?
Anon says
And what happens when someone in the center tests positive. Centers seem to be pretty split on whether they shut the whole center for two weeks or just send home one class to quarantine.
Anonanonanon says
Oh duh. That’s the most important one! I can’t believe I forgot it!
Anokha says
My four year old is obsessed with Uno.
Anon says
I know this is a misthreaded reply but I love it as a standalone comment haha
Pogo says
ha, same.
AnotherAnon says
It reads a little like “help me” but love it.
Anokha says
Ha! It was threading fail but perhaps also a cry for help. We play Every. Single. Day.
AnotherAnon says
You’re a saint. At least it’s not Candyland? When I was four I’d get legit upset with my dad for letting me win at Candyland, but I think strategizing how to lose at the world’s most inane game kept him from going insane.
ElisaR says
hahah yes!
IHeartBacon says
Ha! I agree. It was whispered when I read it.
Anonanonanon says
How do you define “light housekeeping”? After everyone pointed out last week that my frustrations with our current nanny and the state the home is left in are standard responsibilities for a Nanny, I want to make sure we find someone who will at least leave the home in the condition it was in when they arrived. However, my friend told me what I listed is beyond “light” housekeeping.
We do not expect heavy housekeeping to take place but do ask that the caregiver clean up after themselves and the children. The children should be held responsible for cleaning up after themselves as well. Examples of light housework include: empty and load dishwasher when necessary, wipe down kitchen/bathroom counters after use, 1-3 loads of laundry per week (wash, dry, fold), clean up after meals, tidying up after activities, working with children to clean up at end of day.
Basically, the house will be clean when they show up, and I’d like it to be clean when they leave, but I’m not sure how to articulate that. One of the kids is 10 so should legitimately clean up after himself and just needs to be reminded, the other is 2 but she naps two hours a day so there is time then to clean up after her if needed.
Spirograph says
I don’t include laundry in light housekeeping, but I don’t think it’s an unfair ask if she’s doing kid laundry only. I wouldn’t expect or want a nanny to unload the dishwasher – I’d never find things!
My definition is basically “leave the house as you found it.” So, meal cleanup (including loading the dishwasher), and making sure the kids pick up after themselves. If they do a messy activity like paint or play-doh, I’d expect the nanny to clean up any residual mess.
Anonanonanon says
It woudl be kid laundry or, on occasion, something super easy like towels or the washcloths I clean with. No adult clothes.
Our current one is well-meaning, but does stuff like take the kids for a picnic, which is great! But then the picnic blanket is wet and muddy and she leaves it on the front porch with the uneaten food and then it is all full of ants and I end up having to deal with it before it gets worse. And the food is packed in tupperware containers that I end up having to take out of the bag, rinse, put in the dishwasher, etc. Or takes the kids out to play in the kiddie pool which, again, great! but leaves wet grassy towels and suits on their bedroom floors for me to deal with. I’d like them to toss the picnic blanket and kid swimsuits in the wash, ya know?
I manage people all day. I really do not enjoy managing a household employee. I miss daycare.
Anon says
With the caveat that we didn’t have the best nanny experience, I think even when you have a great nanny, you still have to manage that person. Daycare teachers and even cleaning service employees have supervisors that aren’t you, so you just don’t have to have that kind of manager-employee relationship with them that you do with a nanny.
Anonanonanon says
Oh for sure. It was more of a general statement than pertaining to our current nanny. I don’t mind having expectation-setting conversations etc. in a professional setting but I have learned that I haaaaaaaaaate it in this context.
Spirograph says
“I manage people all day. I really do not enjoy managing a household employee.”
This is exactly why we switched to daycare, too. I think your expectations are totally reasonable, and the uneaten food attracting ants should have gone without saying, but especially if this is a young nanny she just might not realize. The best thing you can do is list out explicitly what you want, and correct early if she doesn’t do it. For our summer babysitter job description, I said responsibilities include
– prepare and clean up lunch for the kids
– make sure kids clean up their toys inside and outside
– spot clean as needed after activities
I ask for towels in the laundry room and swimsuits hanging to dry, but it’s not wrong to expect your nanny to do an occasional load of laundry, either.
Anonanonanon says
Thanks! Agree, this was our first Nanny experience and we initially thought it would just be for a couple of weeks (didn’t we all?) and here we are months later and she’s leaving because she is pregnant. I learned a lot from the experience, especially the value of being clear about expectations up front.
anon says
I don’t see this as unreasonable but I’ve never had a nanny, either. Coming home to a trashed house would NOT make me happy.
Anon says
my nanny for my two year old twins does everything you describe and vacuums/swiffers our floors (though i never even asked her to do that). she also changes the kids sheets. that being said, we live in an apartment, so its not like we have a huge kitchen. she also maybe wipes down the bathroom like once a week. and our dishwasher only has to be emptied 1-2 times a week, but there is a bunch of stuff to be hand washed from the kids. our nanny has done a great job in involving the kids in cleaning up and doing laundry (they LOVE putting clothes in the washing machine), and one is so into cleaning up/making sure everything is in its place, that i’m almost concerned. when we reach the day when we no longer need/can justify our nanny, my home will become infinitely messier
anon says
This is what our nanny does for housework. Put the full list in your contract and make it clear that it’s part of her job.
NYCer says
+1.
Anonanonanon says
Oh god I forgot I’ll have to do a contract. (our current one is under the table and we thought it was temporary and it ended up being for months so we don’t have any of this in place, which is part of why I’m just letting things go instead of addressing them)
anon says
The contract is a good thing. It makes sure everyone is on the same page. If you google, you’ll find good templates. It’s not so hard. Just write it in plain language and talk through it together.
Anonymous says
“empty and load dishwasher when necessary, wipe down kitchen/bathroom counters after use, 1-3 loads of laundry per week (wash, dry, fold)…”
We stuck with housekeeping directly related to the kids. So dishwasher was never part of nanny’s job (except to put used dishes in the dishwasher). Wiping counters in kitchen if she left crumbs or food on them while making kids meals, yes; not cleaning up after the adults. She did all the kids laundry but no other laundry.
Anonymous says
This is what our nanny does for our 15 month old, and we said we basically wanted the house to be in the same state it was when we left for work (pre covid) in the morning. What this actually looks like: Once a week, she changes his crib sheet and does DS’s laundry. If something got especially messy, she’ll spot treat the stain before then and leave it in the laundry room. We use cloth napkins in our house that we toss in the washing machine, so she ends up washing those 8-10 cloth napkins a few dishtowels of ours as well.
She picks up all of the toys DS pulls out during the day before he goes down for a nap and then before she leaves. She either hand washers the few dishes they use for his meals, or puts them in the dishwasher. She also wipes down the counters/sweeps crumbs after he eats. She refills the diaper caddy /baby wipes in his room as necessary and empties the diaper pail as necessary (sometimes we do it before she gets to it, but she checks it). As he gets older, we will expect him to help her with most of these items.
anon says
Ours does:
– Load and unload dishwasher
– wipe counters
– sweep
– pickup/encourage and tell kids to pick up toys
– all laundry
We included all of this in her contract. It made more sense when the kids are in school, but I also don’t think it’s that much. We have a separate house cleaner, and I’ve encouraged her to get the kids involved (for example, they can help fold and load and unload the dishwasher). My kids are 7, 9 and 11, and she is also responsible for our two dogs. Basically, I’m asking her to do the same stuff one of us would have done if that person were with the kids all day.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Piggbacking off the post upthread. DS1 will be 3 in November. DS2 is due in December. DS1 has shown 0 interest in potty training. He’ll sometimes let me know when he’s gone no. 2 but not with any regularity. He’s not in daycare right now, we’re keeping him home until we’re past the surge in our area. When he was there in June, he did practice sitting on the toilet.
Friend who have boys have insisted I just wait until he’s 3, and it’ll be done with quickly. I’m not interested in the Oh Crap method and/or a Potty Training weekend. I’m just worried about handling potty training and a newborn. Anyone have any advice?
Anon says
one of my best friends is a pediatrician and she had DS2 in May and DS1 turned 3 in June and has shown no interest in potty training. she thinks based on his personality he is the type of kid who one day will wake up and just decide he wants to use the potty. he goes to school and i think is one of two kids in his class that isn’t potty trained and he doesn’t seem to care (like the whole class takes trips to the potty). she didn’t want to push it with a newborn so she isn’t. personally i would wait until he shows interest (which if it was me and knowing my luck, it would be the second i arrived home from the hospital with a newborn).
Anonymous says
Wait until he shows interest. He literally could in October or November, you just never know with kids. DD potty trained at 2years 11 months. She saw a fancy pink potty and we got it for her. 10 mins later she peed on it (zero pees on the potty before that). 2 days later and she was fully in underwear, she’s maybe had 5 accidents since then. It was a much easier process than I anticipated
Anon says
Per my comment above, PT at 2.5 was a disaster for us (her tears, my tears, major withholding, etc.) even though she was showing signs of readiness, occasionally using the potty, etc. We backed off for 5 months (still offering but not pushing the potty) and at a month before 3 we were able to on a weekend tell her we were taking her diapers away, put her in underwear, and other than a couple of accidents the first weekend, there really haven’t been any since. So much better than total warfare that was the 2.5YO attempt. That being said, while it’s been a couple of weeks, it’s still constant immediate demands to potty far more frequently than I had expected and in a way that would likely send me over the edge if I was also dealing with a newborn with immediate needs (visions of trying to BF with one arm while herding a dancing toddler to the potty with the other). If I were in your shoes, I would give it a go now, but if it fails, back off until maybe 2-3 months after DS2 arrives and is able to be set down for longer periods, assuming you do not have other deadlines driving this (e.g., for us she needs to be PT for the 3YO preschool class if it opens).
Boston Legal Eagle says
You said that you didn’t want to do the Oh Crap method so my advice is probably not what you want to hear, but that is what we did with our older son when he was just under 2.5 (about 2 months before DS2 arrived). It worked pretty quickly for him at that age, and with all of you home now and not really going anywhere, it might be the easiest time to try. If he’s not interested now, then you can wait until he’s closer to 3. With a newborn, I knew I wouldn’t be able to focus on the older one/have the energy to catch every time he’s trying to pee, which is why we did it before the new baby, but YMMV.
OP says
This approach makes TOTAL sense. The thing is, with the “not going anywhere” is there are so many disruptions during the workday during the week, that I can’t add one more right now.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Oh yes, I would wait for the weekend, preferably a long weekend where you can have no work for a few weekdays. We did this over a 4-day Labor Day weekend (fun).
ElisaR says
yes we did it memorial day weekend this year and tacked on an extra day off from work…. you definitely need to be able to focus to do it!
Pogo says
Ha, we’re kid-spacing and potty training twins. Mine will be 3y1mo when baby arrives. Very little interest in potty beyond bribery with video which I’m loath to get into because currently trying not to use video as a bribe for every single thing (it’s getting better). I can’t bring myself to do it before baby gets here. I’m huge and exhausted and our routine is still all messed up anyway from the pandemic and no daycare (sloooowly getting back to normalish).
His best friend at daycare is potty trained, and I’ve tried to get her support when I say things like, “[Friend] is a big girl now and uses the potty, right, [Friend]?” And she said, “Yeah but [LO] is a big boy too and he wears a diaper in case he pees.” LOL. Maybe he got to her first, but she is not helping. He’s kind of like, good for her, not for me.
Anyway, I think it depends on the kid but with little interest and biggest fish to fry right now on the toddler battleground, I’m letting it go.
OP says
Hi, twin!
YUP, 100% my son is pretty much like “Naw, I’m cool with diapers”. I’ve learned the hard way to adopt a “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it” approach to parenting for my own personality/sanity so…tempted to just wait and see. Hoping that if it’s safer to send him back to daycare in late August-September, that will help.
I have a dear friend that “potty trained” her 2.5 year old with Oh Crap and it involved a lot of screaming/crying (kid) and drama (both) over a prolonged period of time, and kiddo still wore pull ups occasionally during the day until she was 3+. Nothing wrong with that, but just not a way I’d prefer to go if some parts are avoidable.
Anon says
Yet another potty training question. DD is 2.5 next month, and she shows the signs of readiness for potty training and says she wants to be potty trained, but when we put her on the potty nothing ever comes out. She loves sitting on it, pretending to wipe, pretending to flush and then going to wash her hands, but she never actually DOES anything on the toilet. She is resistant to the three day method because she doesn’t want to be naked all the time (she’s weirdly modest for a toddler and hates being naked) and I don’t want to turn this into a battle so I’m not inclined to go that route for now. I’m not in a huge hurry and hopefully she will have school for at least a few months this fall and see kids going potty there. I really would like her to be potty-trained by 3 though because our school charges a pretty hefty fee for 3 year olds still in diapers. Is there any way to teach her how to actually go on the potty? She has seen me and DH pee.
Anonymous says
Could she wear a dress, no underwear, for the naked part of the three day method? It might get messier for you because you won’t see her peeing quite right away, but that way she can still be covered but also actually feel herself peeing.
DLC says
Have you tried her naked just on the bottom? Or with loose pants or a skirt? The idea being that then she really can start to notice when she pees since there is no diaper to keep her dry, and then she can start to make the connection between this thing she thinks is fun (sitting on the potty and wiping) and what her body is actually doing.
Anonymous says
When we did the weekend/three day method, we kept kiddo in underwear but nothing else. Maybe a shirt toward the end of the weekend. That worked fine for us, and I wasn’t really comfortable from a hygiene perspective with no-underwear.
For probably like a month, kiddo came home from daycare and took her pants off. Because apparently not wearing pants is awesome when you’re 2/3.
gouda says
“Because apparently not wearing pants is awesome when you’re 2/3.”
Or, you know, 42.
Anon says
My comment is above (Anon at 2:34), we tried a modified 3-day method for the first failed attempt, but for our second try, we just put her in pretty undies (seemed to be motivating, vs the nothing before) for the first weekend, told her no more diapers and bribed her with M&Ms to sit on the potty and asked about once an hour (any more than that and she was highly resistant and turning it into a power struggle). I washed a lot of underwear. It certainly didn’t keep her from feeling wet, which is I think the point of the method. So you could try regular undies with a dress and see how it goes.
anon says
Our preschool just announced that it’s going to be closed until at least fall 2021. I know I shouldn’t be surprised, but somehow I am. My 4 yo is going to be devastated not to get to go back to school this fall. She’ll start kindergarten in 2021, so that’s it. No pre-K at all. No more of those friends. No graduation. No goodbyes. It all ended so abruptly in March. It’s hard to imagine that she’s never going back. Gah.
Anon says
wow. where do you live? i haven’t heard of anything like that
Anonymous says
Northern Virginia. As far as I can tell we’re being especially conservative here, despite having okay numbers.
Anonymous says
I would not exactly call VA’s numbers okay. Our 7-day moving average of new cases is nearly as high as it was at the previous peak, and trending steadily upward. R0 is 1.14, and the positive test rate is climbing. We are teetering on the brink of disaster.
Anonymous says
If you look at it by region, the northern part of Virginia is essentially flat. The governor just announced new restrictions on the beach part of the state yesterday to try to tamp down those numbers. We’re far from perfect, but other parts of the country are opening preschools with much worse data.
https://www.vdh.virginia.gov/coronavirus/key-measures/
Anon says
Virginia is pretty good for the US actually. The only states that clearly have an R0 under one are the current hotspots (AZ, TX, FL) that are starting to get past their peaks but still have really high per capita new case numbers. If you look at the percent positive and the percent growth of new cases, Virginia is better off than a lot of states. There really aren’t any US states outside the northeast that are doing “well” and even the northeast states are starting to see some upticks.
Anon says
Oh man, I’m so sorry. I would be gutted. Could you pod with some of her friends, at least? I agree it’s too early to call it for the whole year. I tend to be pessimistic about Covid but at this point I actually think it’s fairly likely we’ll have at least a partially effective vaccine by early 2021. We won’t have enough supply to vaccinate everyone until the summer (and who knows when a vaccine will be approved for children because the risk profile is so different there), but even just vaccinating the elderly would go so far towards reducing hospitalizations and deaths and would allow lots more things to open.
Anonymous says
That is really surprising to me, actually. I wonder if they just took too much of a financial hit?
anon says
Most of the teachers are grandmother-ly, so I suspect that they don’t want to be exposed.
It’s in a church building, so I don’t think it’s financial. The church and facility isn’t going anywhere.
Anonymous says
What denomination? The UMC Virginia Conference, for one, is being extremely cautious. Some UMC preschools are open, but there are so many restrictions on other church activities that I wouldn’t be surprised if a local church decided not to open its preschool at all.
anon says
It is UMC.
Anon says
Gah….our church preschool is also UMC – does not bode well!
Anonymous says
Omg, I’m sorry. I’m kind of shocked they are calling it already for the whole year when so much can change (I hope!), but I guess that is most fair to the staff so they can find other work rather than waiting around on furlough, and most fair to parents like you who can now make other long-term arrangements. But how disappointing for your daughter. My rising K daughter just moped, out of the blue, over breakfast this morning about how she missed her 2 best friends from preschool. Aside from a couple zoom calls, she hasn’t seen them since March. She’s been pretty happy playing with her neighbor friend these last several months, but silly me for thinking she’d forgotten. :/
Anon says
I’m bracing for this (also in NOVA). We got a note this week that our church preschool was pushing back the tuition deadline by 2 weeks because they still hadn’t reached a decision about reopening plans. It makes me so sad (even though I’m still trying to hold out hope). Depending where you are, DH found another church preschool in Chantilly that was opening in person, so if you feel strongly about it, might be worth looking around to see if you can find an open preK program.
anon says
We’re in an area where there are lottos and waitlists to get into preschools in the best of times, so I don’t hold much hope of finding a slot. I’m probably going to try to find her a playgroup, but it’s far from ideal.
Anonymous says
I am really sorry. You may want to ask around a bit. My child is finishing up pre-k in Alexandria and I know that there were several families that have not returned.I know that ratios have changed, but maybe there is an opening somewhere?
Anon4This says
We just left Arlington (moved out-of-state) in December. We have friends with their child at Meta Montessori – they’ve turned it into an outdoor school. Not sure what their capacity situation is, but FYI.
Anonymous says
Our daycare in Reston is already reopened and had a great pre-k program before Covid. It’s Common Ground Childcare.