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This is a really nice blazer that is also a great deal! This would match everything in my closet; I like wearing black pants, and it’s hard to wear a black blazer with them without looking like you’re wearing a mismatched suit. That’s why I love to have gray-toned blazers in my closet, and this looks like a good candidate.
I like the mix of classic and modern — the longer length and classic lapels combined with the ruched sleeves and single button. For the price, I don’t think you can beat it!
The blazer is on sale for $39.99, marked down from $139, at Macy’s. Ruched-Sleeve Single-Button Blazer
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Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anonymous says
OMG our schools now seem committed to saying closed and providing their s*cky glitchy online offerings until there is no threat from COVID anywhere to anyone. Which is basically forever. Locally, some museums that typically offer summer camps are offering limited K-5 school-day “camps” where the adults who are usually camp teachers and staff monitor kids on computers doing their work and let them eat bagged lunches. I have an elementary schooler and a middle schooler, so this helps some people at least.
I feel really bad for school bus drivers, cafeteria workers, and specials teachers, all of whom are likely getting laid off now that they’ve abandoned the pretense of even trying to open school on a rotating 1/3 capacity. It kills me though that they are still pretending to teach remotely (my older kid had one social zoom a week, zero live instruction, the slightly younger one had two social zooms a week this spring, again with zero live instruction). The teachers would send links to stuff on YouTube, which was a b*tch to police, since my kids can watch a video that is educational and then go down a rabbit hole of memes (so my job is . . . watching them watch YouTube videos to police for slacking for the duration of this pandemic).
I hate 2020.
anon says
Yeah, this completely sucks. There is a very vocal group of teachers in my city that is basically demanding exactly that. I feel for them, but it is not realistic! We have to figure out a way to mitigate risk while providing an actual education to our kids, or this whole generation is going to be screwed.
Anon says
I’ve been saying this for a while, but my take is that if hospitals can work this out, schools can. School workers aren’t any more vulnerable then hospital workers (most of which are not doctors or even nurses). And in the long term that we’re looking at now, schools are pretty close to the same level of essential.
Anne says
I am so so sorry. This is all so so messed up. I HATE that indoor dining is open, colleges can come back and schools are a complete mess. It’s such a depressing confirmation about our leader’s priorities.
anon says
+1. I live in a college town and work on a college campus. I really believe our campus leaders are doing their best to make it a safe environment, but I still think it’s going to be a sh!tshow. Like college students are going to stop having house parties and going to bars, which is responsible for a ton of our town’s COVID cases right now.
Cb says
Right? In the UK, we joke about ‘freshers’ flu’ during September and October. We’re just adding Covid on top of already pretty dangerous conditions.
Anonymous says
I think that college kids, or at least their parents, get what is at stake. Seniors will need jobs soon. Student loans won’t pay themselves. I hope they take this seriously and like they are on a mission. Not everyone will, but I think it has propelled some kids into adulthood in a way that never happened previously in recent generations.
Anon says
They can get their degrees, get a job and pay off loans just fine with online classes. They’re coming to campus primarily to party and see friends, so no they’re not going to avoid all that. If school shuts down in September at least they got a month of partying in, which is better than nothing.
Anonymous says
I disagree that kids are going back just to party. Kids with lab sciences can’t do that remotely. IDK what kids who need to student teach can do (maybe just get provisional teaching licenses, like lawyers are getting). But some kids are serious about getting out.
The kids who are partyers are partying now and parents are nervous about that (so many parents I know have sent their kids back already so they won’t spread whatever they bring home from bars this summer; better keep them among the youngs if they are going out all the time vs sharing it with parents who may be vulnerable or need to stay employed).
anon says
There are many majors that have significant in person elements. In my experience all science majors and engineering students have significant labs and capstone design courses that can’t be completed online. I actually selected my university (and paid a premium) back in the day because of the quality of the lab classes, senior thesis requirement, and capstone design courses. It was a non-trivial part of my science degree.
Anonymous says
What if you’re in school for nursing (or learning how to cut hair)? I don’t think you can be told to practice drawing blood from your dad at home. And dad might not cooperate.
I am assuming med schools are open. And college students are adults who can distance learn (or not) in a way that an 11YO can’t be left home alone in my state (12, yes; high school yes, elementary school — um, no).
Anon says
My statement was based on the fact that my college (and many others) are bringing kids back to campus but offering most classes online. Many kids have all their classes online but are still moving back into the dorms, so I don’t see a reason for that except social stuff. I agree there are some kids who need an in person class, although it’s not as many as you would think (a lot of science and engineering is heavily computational now – science labs look very different than they did 20 years ago). But we should restrict dorm spaces to those who need to take an in person class to progress in their major. Students who can take online only shouldn’t be on campus.
Anonymous says
I don’t think that indoor dining is a problem but large parties / outside-the-bar sprawl on sidewalks and everything that happens after 9pm is what is driving the problem. But, yes, my school exposed my kid to whooping cough and then allowed a child molester to work unsupervised and alone with large groups of kids but now they want to go back only when there is perfect safety.
anon says
Indoor dining and bars are 100% a problem and have been shown to be major sources of outbreaks. That’s why you hear about restaurants and bars who have staff outbreaks with 20-40 cases, all of whom have been serving hundreds of customers.
Anon says
I hate Trump but I don’t really blame him for colleges reopening and K-12 staying shut. It’s all about 1) profits and 2) teachers unions. College faculty and daycare generally aren’t unionized so they don’t have the bargaining power of public school teachers, and colleges and daycares lose profits if they stay shut so their leaders are opening for $$ reasons. At least in my area, all the private K-12 schools are open too for the same reason. I wonder if this will have lasting impacts on public education. My preschool is talking about offering kindergarten next year – they used to but there was no demand because our public schools are so strong. But now there is demand, of course.
Anonymous says
I was a ride-or-due public school person and vowed never to buy a house in an area where I wouldn’t use the schools. I bought a house. I had used the schools. We’ll be switching to a charter school b/c private schools’ waiting lists are years long b/c people have given up on public schools showing up until at least fall 2021, which is too long to wait.
Anon says
The complete abdication of responsibility of our local public schools has also made me rethink my commitment to public schools. Our school system is renting space to private companies that will provide on-site childcare to children who will be distance learning, but will not provide in-person education. Like, it’s ok for the children’s parents to go to work on the front lines (doctors, grocery workers), it’s ok for the children and adults to be at school, but definitely can’t have teachers at school so children can effectively learn?!
My kid goes to an extremely economically diverse school that, prior to this, was remarkably equal. Now it’s every family for themselves indefinitely and the school system is treating the huge gulf of inequality as not their problem.
Anon says
We’ve been hearing for years that teachers were true heroes and so vitally important. Now, a lot of them* are not willing to take the risks that a minimum wage cashier at the Shop ‘n Save has been taking for months and are trying to tell us its just fine for us to do without their services for what may be years. I’m sickened by it.
* (Obviously, not all teachers. My sister’s a teacher, and she’ll be back in school in a few weeks with no complaints.)
Anonymous says
This. I was really happy with our neighborhood’s public elementary school until March of last year, but I am sending my early elementary kids to a private school this school after we lucked out getting spots for both in the same school. I am struggling with abandoning public schools, but I can’t just stand by and watch them fail my kids, and nothing they’ve done since the shutdown gives me confidence that they’ll get their s— together this school year.
I was incensed over the weekend reading some articles criticizing parents for setting up pandemic learning pods and saying that parents should instead community organize to figure out solutions that simultaneously provide adequate instruction don’t drive education inequality, and “share responsibility.” It is literally the public school system’s job to do that. Literally, that is its mission! If the school district came up with a pandemic pod model that served all the economically & racially diverse students equally, I’d be in. But I hate the implication that it’s a moral failure on my part that I didn’t help create it in my spare time between a full time job and full time pandemic parenting.
FVNC says
The op-ed in the NYT was something else. I feel the same way about school-facilitated learning pods and would absolutely participate if the school district was willing to do…anything. At this point, frankly, I don’t even care about education for my 2nd grader; I just need childcare. So she’ll be going to private school (assuming she can get a spot).
Anonymous says
I keep locking up my NYT login, but that would make me 100% stabby. I already have a job. Educating everyone on an equal footing was not it (just funding it, which I was OK with, assuming that the work got done). So now we pay twice — once in property taxes and once more for childminders / private school / learning pod. And that makes us bad guys?
Anonymous says
That NYT piece filled me with rage. It’s just like the way our district handled the shutdown in the spring. Because they couldn’t reach every student through on-line learning, it was paper packets for everyone. The answer to inequality isn’t to bring everyone down to the lowest common denominator. It’s to raise up the less advantaged. Preventing me from educating my child doesn’t help the kid whose parents can’t educate her at home.
I do think pods are a problem, though, purely from a public health standpoint. If it’s not safe to have kids in school, then the situation is bad enough that we all need to be locked down at home.
Anonymous says
My mom is a public school teacher and called me in a rage about the NYT article to tell me not to feel bad about jumping ship from public schools. Paraphrasing her: there’s so much focus on No Child Left Behind that they’ve lost sight of the fact that All Kids Deserve The Chance To Learn Something Every Day. Schools should be trying harder to figure out how to get all kids to the same higher bar, not lowering the bar so that no one can get ahead.
Her school hasn’t announced plans yet, but she’s trying to figure out how/if she can arrange optional outdoor meet-ups with her class to do in-person instruction without running afoul of all the rules about teachers not meeting with students outside of school facilities, or alone, or if the whole class doesn’t have the same access, etc etc. There are good reasons for those rules, but they’re one of the many things that are just hamstringing well-meaning public school educators administrators.
Anon FCPS says
The anger at teachers for not wanting to go back to school without adequate protection and protocols in place and the anger at parents (read moms) setting up pods, just seems so based in misogyny. If it the parents forming the pods were primarily men, the idea wwould be an “education disrupter” and prasied for creative solutions. Teachers (75% of whom are women) are expected to be selfless and be doing it for their love of teaching.
Now, I am annoyed as a whole with the school system, but I also realize a lot of the issues are due to the continued underfunding and overburdening of school systems.
Anon says
Yeah, a teacher in my community wrote an op-ed that was widely praised and shared by a lot of people that said “the number of acceptable deaths is zero.” That’s…never going to happen. Nor should it be the benchmark for going back to school. Flu kills tens of thousands every year. Gun violence kills 100 people a day and we’ve done basically nothing about it. I know that once we have a vaccine available anyone who wants it, hospitals aren’t overwhelmed and most people who choose to take the vaccine won’t get severely ill and die, public sentiment will likely swing towards reopening everything, even though some degree of risk remains. But there’s definitely a loud minority that thinks we have to keep everything shut into covid is completely gone, which is so frustrating because that goal is basically impossible to achieve at this point.
Anonymous says
Right? Even if there is significant herd immunity, someone will say that you can get it repeat times. And what about long-haulers?
And even if there is a vaccine, my guess is that not enough people will get it. And we live near where there is a vocal and significant pocket of antivaxxers (like they had a measles outbreak in recent memory).
I feel that there will always be an excuse. Now I just need to teach my kids basic knife and stovetop cooking skills so that they can eat something besides cereal, oatmeal, toaster waffles, and salty snacks.
Cb says
Ugh, that’s awful and it sucks! One thing on the Youtube thing, there are extensions that you can install that will only let you watch Youtube from the direct link/won’t bring up recommendations or suggestions, which might help with that rabbit hole issue.
Anonymous says
What I hate about remote “learning” is that some younger teachers did a good job with technology. If you had a teacher who was suddenly home with a young child, we got “I am home with a young child and just can’t manage” (or zooming with a teacher caring for her own kid vs being able to teach), and then if you had still-older teachers, they weren’t really good at zoom teaching (and I am older than a lot of them and TBH found it to be very plug-and-play, with live instruction being easier than trying to loop in videos). Which was fine immediately after lockdown, but since then my district has provided no general instruction to teachers and is very AWOL on getting this right as we are about to enter round 2. Our summer sitter is a teacher (and a good one who is tech-savvy) and she knows nothing more than we do as parents. Individual teachers are having to wing it with it seems no help from principals or districts.
It burns me up b/c I am working more on a salary cut (to avoid outright layoffs) and teachers are still getting paid, as are principals. Layoffs will happen next week for bus drivers, etc., but others who aren’t really doing their jobs are still getting paid as if they are and as the person funding that (and funding supplemental tutors in addition) that burns me up.
anne-on says
Right, I think this is what is causing a lot of rage/angst among parents. It would be one thing if schools all said ‘Yes, we’re going remote, but this is the curriculum, we’ll be guaranteeing X hours of live and individualized instruction and gearing up support for our teachers/families/students to better use the tools and provide support.’ Most if not all families are sympathetic to teachers. But the general feeling is that ok, you had last year and the summer to prepare, and if the result is more worksheets and a shrug there are going to be massive backlashes. You can’t just…not do your job, get paid the same, and expect that everyone will be ok with that.
anon says
Our teachers are moving from demanding DL to now telling us that they can’t do DL because they don’t have childcare (like the rest of us) and because they think it’s intrusive to have a video feed in their homes (like the rest of us). They’ve also shot down any outdoor meet ups with even the youngest or most vulnerable students because of school shooters, West Nile, and weather (“It’s cold in February so we can’t meet outside in October”). They can’t send home materials such as worksheets or library books because of the COVID risk. And parents are expected to supervise students for 5.5 hours of DL per day (including for 5-7 yos) with 13+ sign ons and sign offs so that teachers can attempt to teach a traditional schedule remotely. Meanwhile, the administration has pushed back the start of school for two weeks so they can run yet another training on how to sign on and sign off of Teams, because some teachers still can’t reliably use the software. It’s a sh1tshow.
Anon says
ok, this is ridiculous. Yes they can send papers home. We did this in my area when it was a major hotspot in March and April.
anon says
Our district didn’t even try DL in the spring because it was “too hard.” This fall will be their first try and I’m very concerned that they’re about to give up again.
Anonymous says
Like how can you do reading with no books? I get that kids can read at home, but that assumes books at home, not re-re-reading the lone book they may have had in March. I am OK burning through $ on books (my kids read books; e-reading on their devices leads to diversions to fun things unless I supervise and I need to work). But most of our district is lower SES and I can’t fund books for everyone.
Realist says
This is not the fault of schools. This was a botched response to a pandemic that nearly every American ally has handled better than America has. Teachers and schools are in the same impossible positions as parents. I can’t help but notice how many anonymous comments there are on this thread and I suspect some disinfo. The solution here is not to hate on schools and teachers. The failure started at the top. I am voting against every single member of a certain political stripe this November
anon says
You don’t think this is real frustration from parents? I can promise you that it’s real.
Public schools aren’t being blamed for the pandemic, but they should get all of the blame for completely giving up on educating students. No one is looking for perfection, but public school are showing zero interest in adapting and problem solving. All other workers and companies figured this out months ago. Public schools have had a summer to regroup, but seem to be resisting the idea that they have any responsibility to educate students right now. It’s just too hard.
Realist says
The frustration is 100% real. But I’m seeing it directed at people (with a certain contingent happy to strike that anger) where it doesn’t belong. I’m not blaming a teacher for not wanting to go back to school if they have immunecompromised people in the household, and also complaining they can’t do distance learning because they have no childcare for their children. The federal government needs to lead here, and has completely and utterly failed us. Can you imagine in the Independence Day movie, the president saying “well, states, why don’t you each come up with your own plan to deal with the hostile alien invaders, I’m not throwing fed resources at this” and then we all start squabbling because schools can’t be open while the alien ships lay destruction to society?
I’m not participating in a narrative where local teachers and schools are the bad guys here.
Anonymous says
IMO our schools were bad before, with parents having the means spending lots of time/$/often both supplementing or doing things formerly done by schools (music lessons, good math teachers are a perpetual problem). We parents have always done a lot of the work that a “good” school gets credit for (we sent our kids to school ready to learn, we fill in the gaps, we have books in the home). Now, we are having to do *all* of the work, while also working our FT jobs, something that I’d love to see some inkling of concern about form our schools. Nope. Instead, I just hear how hard it is *for them.* I live-taught a 10-week class on zoom this spring, a platform I hadn’t even heard of before march. It’s just not that hard and I want to see them try a little and care a little. I don’t think that they really care.
Anonymous says
In the US, school districts are completely local. There is very little that states or the federal government do except send them $. It would be nice right now to have a national curriculum instead of everyone spending time/$ reinventing the wheel on that. That way, parents would at least know what their kids should be getting and find a way to deliver it and see if their kids had mastered it or not. It’s all local. D or R, local politicians seem to dumb-down standards so that we’re above average all the time (hey, no one is good at math) and often they re-do the goalposts when they don’t like the results. How 2nd grade math needs to be different state by state or town by town is beyond me. Math should be math. Reading should be reading.
Anon says
Teachers certainly aren’t “the bad guys” in the situation in general, but there’s a level of hypocrisy that’s really disappointing to me, where they seem to expect different treatment than other kinds of teachers simply by virtue of where and what age group they teach. All the public school teachers I know – none of whom want to return to the classroom, even though they’re mostly in Northeast states that have the situation fairly well-controlled at the moment – are currently sending their own children to daycare. Why do their lives matter more than their childrens’ daycare teachers’ lives? I don’t agree with the idea that the whole world should shut down again, nobody should have any childcare and the only people who should go to work are grocery store workers and ER doctors, but at least that’s a logically consistent position. But teachers not wanting to go into the classroom to educate other people’s children while expecting other teachers to take care of their own kids is….not logically consistent. To put it mildly. I have seen it justified by “we’re educators, not babysitters” and I find that really gross. Even if daycare teachers are “just babysitters” (I don’t think they are, ECE is really important) a babysitter’s life is not worth less than a teacher’s life.
anon says
Agree. Public schools may have other problems, but it’s not the responsibility of the schools to solve COVID, particularly when up against a woefully inadequate government response. We don’t have widespread, rapid testing available, we don’t have contact tracing, and we’re prioritizing opening up things like gyms and bars over schools. The goal should be what do we need to do to make it safe for schools to open.
Anonymous says
In the US, schools are local and my city is all D for its elected officials. Ditto our state elected leaders and our delegation in congress (maybe a few republican reps, but they represent outlying areas to my city not the city itself). Who, exactly, is there to be mad at? Vote out the local D’s (won’t happen)? And city schools are funded, generously, locally. And Title 1 schools get extra $ because they are servicing poor/needy students. It’s a failure of willpower, not a failure of funding at this point. My guess is that local charters have made significant inroads for a reason and a million more will spring up in the wake of this. Not everyone can afford $$$ for private schools but at this point I don’t know a soul who is pleased.
anon says
And in my city, at least, there are zero private schools that aren’t affiliated with a religious organization. And that’s a nonstarter for most of us. Our public schools have historically been strong, and I believe my district is doing better than most, but there is still a fair amount of frustration about the lack of creativity in solving some of these issues.
Realist says
The local and city leaders are not the problem here. They didn’t pull the Beijing disease monitor months before Covid started spreading in China. They didn’t ignore the accepted pandemic protocol that took years and money to develop. Look at how every other developed country has handled this better. It wasn’t on the strengths of their local leadership and the ingenuity of their school superintendents.
Anonymous says
I’m not saying our schools caused this nor is anyone else. But some of them are doing a much better job of responding to it than others.
Anon says
Every other developed country controlled the pandemic better, that’s true (although I think that has more to do with their citizens than their leaders, but whatever). The point is that if hospitals, daycares, colleges and even restaurants and hair salons can open, schools can find a way to open too. School is essential and public school teachers are essential workers. If they believe they can’t safely return to work, they can leave their job. That’s the choice every single person who can’t work from home faces and I don’t buy that public school teachers have more of a moral right to opt out of that choice than daycare teachers, college professors, waitresses, hair stylists, custodians, etc etc.
Anonymous says
It’s not my fault either, but I have adapted and was gung-ho to do so. I need my job or my children will be homeless. I see that spirit with many restaurants converting to to-go spots or doing meal kits. I see that with community orgs (virtual scouting, camping in your back yard, zoom merit badges for the more academic ones at least) and groups doing virtual concerts and virtual pub quizzes. I definitely see that with grocery stores and hospitals. Even newscasters doing live shots wear masks. That spirit has not filtered down to public schools — they really just threw up their hands and threw in the towel.
Anonymous says
Wow no. Parents are frustrated. This is real. Some schools are handling this much better than others.
Realist says
Yes, it is real. Yes, some schools are handling it better than other. No,it is not the fault of schools that the entire pandemic response has been a complete disaster since day 0.
Anon says
No but we are where we are. School districts doing a poor job handling this don’t get a pass. There’s plenty of blame to share but it’s been clear for months that this is/will continue to be a disaster. The fact that a lot of school districts did a terrible job responding is still true even if we had an awful/non-existent national response.
Anonymous says
Then they need to do their part in picking up the pieces like the rest of us. Doing to part is not going to cut it and I don’t blame working parents for not being in a forgiving mood.
Anon says
Disagree with you, Realist. And I hate the tendency on this board, and for you in particular, to assume there are trolls or “disinformation”just because people voice an opinion that’s different than yours and they choose to be anon. You are also anon. It’s not like you are sharing your real name. I have participated in this forum for many years but still choose to be anon. Stop making assumptions that allow you to dismiss other people.
Anonymous says
This 100 times.
Anon says
This.
Realist Uses a Handle and Actually Lives in America says
You choose to troll people, and especially enjoy doing it to me. I continue to feel sorry for you and hope you are getting whatever you need out of it.
Anon says
+1
anonymous says
THIS
Another Anon says
Totally
Yet Another Anon says
Spot the disinfo
Anon says
Huh? Why do you think that Anon doesn’t live in America? What a silly response. There are a lot of us who find your posts frustrating. I am not the Anon you’re responding to, and I definitely live in the US, but I have criticized your comments before. It’s not tr0lling to disagree with someone, even rudely. I don’t think you know what that word means.
Realist says
There are many nuanced responses by some commentators with genuine and real anger and frustration. I believe them and am in the same boat as them. There are other responses here that . . . are not that. It is not a secret that multiple foreign governments are planning to interfere with the election, including through the infiltration of online communities. A lot of money and time is being spent on it. This site is not immune. I think people should be aware. I’m not specifically calling out Anon on this.
I can see the difference between people venting and sharing their own situation, and those trying to influence how the other posters on this board–often high net worth, influential women–respond to that situation. I think others should not consider this community safe from foreign interference and ask themselves ask themselves how that would look.
Anon says
Hahahaha wow I’m a dyed-in-the-wool Dem who will 100% be voting for Biden but the idea that the Russians are writing rants on this s1te about public school closures to encourage people to vote for Trump is….really something else. No offense to Kat, who has built a great community here, but the readership of this s1te is nowhere near big enough for the Russians to care about it.
Anon says
*gasp* there might even be real people who read this board and comment regularly as anons who actually might vote for the person you despise most. They might choose not to comment on the political matters in order to be avoided of being accused of trolling, but your ideas aren’t the only ones that are out there. Typical of the left to think that anyone who disagrees with them must be a troll.
Realist says
I’m proud to be on the left and disagree with the right on the completely botched pandemic response. The GOP party as a whole fits the urban dictionary definition of troll. At this point in history, not standing against the GOP makes you a particular type of person. I will not stand for blaming normal, ordinary Americans, like teachers, for problems caused for ordinary American working parents. The blame lies on the White House, and it continues through to all that enabled this horrible fascist administration, including any GOP voters like you Anon. How do you feel about your own personal responsibility (isn’t that a favorite ideal of your party’s platform?) for the death of over 150,000 Americans? The fact that you get so enraged when you get any hint of your role tells me that it must not feel that good to know that you enable murder. Thank goodness I can know that I fought and protested against fascism since January 2017. You can look up the definition of Good German if you want to improve your vocabulary today. You have the freedom to choose those ideas if you want.
Spirograph says
Oh boy. Realist, I often agree with points you make, including the one laying the majority of the blame for botched pandemic response at the feet of the current administration, but… this post accomplishes what, exactly? There is room in America for different ideas about the respective roles of the federal government and the free market, different religious beliefs that drive differences in how policies are perceived, and just difference, period. That is fundamentally what America IS.
The biggest problem (to me) is that dialogue between factions has broken down to the point that there’s no room for compromise in the middle anymore, or space and grace for people to change their mind when presented with new information. Equating the entire GOP to Good Germans is more part of the problem than part of the solution.
Peanut says
+1,000,000 to Spirograph
FVNC says
No. For me, it’s what anne-on said above — if there was ANY plan for how remote learning will happen, that might be okay. There is NO plan. None. THAT is what I blame my district for. They held their FIRST talk with the teachers’ union last week. The FIRST! In an area of the country first impacted by the pandemic. There is plenty of fault to go around, but school districts are not blame-free.
Anonymous says
So you mean there are school districts that have actually made announcements on what will be happening this fall, even if it is a giant cluster? What’s that like?
Anonymous says
They are basically announcing they aren’t going back. But without plans to get gimpy laptops to students or improve on glitchy technology from this spring. We’ve already seen round 1 (and it wasn’t pretty) and there is nothing out there showing that round 2 will be better (or when / if round 2 will ever end). Nothing reassuring has come out. Thank god that Target has kept us stocked with paper, supplies, and new books. Our school set up zooms for socializing and is calling it “social and emotional learning,” I kid you not.
Anonymous says
Holy F — my kid doesn’t need “social and emotional learning,” they need plain-vanilla actual learning. I can take them outside and for walks and arrange for them to zoom with friends and Y guides. I can take them to our distanced pool. We can FaceTime distant aunties and older relatives who will stay distant for a while. We can bake cookies and write encouraging things on our sidewalk in chalk. After dinner, on weekends. I can’t do all of that and my job and also be their teacher (especially as no one will set out a syllabus-equivalent for grade-schoolers about what they should be learning). Learning, please.
anon says
I’m realizing that I have a lot of pent-up frustration with DH for how this stay-at-home situation has gone. He loves it, and why wouldn’t he? He sleeps in until 7:30 and wanders into his home office at 8 after dropping the youngest off at daycare. Meanwhile, I’m up early to exercise and have already thrown in a load of laundry and emptied the dishwasher by the time he’s gotten up. If it doesn’t get emptied in the morning, then the whole kitchen counter is covered in breakfast dishes until at least lunch time. IDK, I do not love how my homekeeping and work worlds have collided.
And I also have a lot of resentment about the spring that I can’t let go of. I’m the one who made our daily schedule so we could actually cover for each other when we had meetings. When we’d just wing it, it was a freaking disaster. I’m looking ahead to fall, and it seems REAL likely that school will close again at some point — if/when that happens, who’s going to help our kindergartener with distance learning? He keeps saying that his boss is going to be “really flexible,” but I guess I’ll believe it when I see it?
The pandemic has sent us backwards, in terms of division of labor, but I really doubt he would see it that way. And it’s not like he’s lazy and doesn’t do stuff for our family, but THERE IS SO MUCH MORE mess right now with everyone at home all the time. Since it bothers me more, I end up taking care of it.
I am really rambling and I don’t know what my point is. I’m tired of scorekeeping, I’m tired of being the one who notices everything, I’m tired of having the weight of the pandemic on my shoulders and being the worrier/problem-solver. He is SUCH a problem-solver at work; why can’t he apply that to the homefront?
GCA says
If it helps, my colleague’s partner is in the process of developing this app, and is looking for testers. https://www.thirdshift.co.uk/ Have both of you take it and compare notes.
anne-on says
This is brilliant! Just took the quiz, and (shocking, I know) I do about 60% vs. my partners 40%. That..leave some room for improvement. I’d also encourage your colleague’s partner to read Fair Play – they make a very good distinction between time sensitive and non-time sensitive tasks (ie – it’s not great that one person has to do all the pet feeding/walking/meal planning/laundry which must be done and can’t be skipped or put off and the other is in charge of cars/outdoors/finances, which can wait).
Anonanonanon says
I just did it and, fwiw, I’d say the percentages are spot on for our COVID division of responsibility. 56.7% me, 43.3% him. Could certainly be worse, but used to be 50/50
anon says
OP, and ours is about the same as yours. So not terribly off-balance, but there’s definitely room for improvement.
anon says
I wish we’d had this app when my kids were small. Me outside work + commute + night grad school 60-70 hours a week. Volunteering 5-10 a week. Total per app 85 hours. Him outside work 28/week + volunteering 10 a week. Total 38 per week per app.
App says 68% me, 32% him. Could never get him to see the imbalance.
Anonymous says
Have you said “Hey Steven I know looks can be deceiving but I don’t really like doing all this extra work! Hey Steven I think you’re wonderful but can you please just empty the dishwasher and put the breakfast dishes away every single morning before you start work so I don’t need to run away from this house in frustration?”
Anon says
+1 and he needs to transfer the laundry from the washer to the dryer when he has a mid-morning break between meetings. Also, the kindergartner can be taught (by him) to put away the silverware from the dishwasher and to clear the breakfast table. It’s amazing what a kindergartner can help with, but let him do the supervising.
Mathy says
OP, I feel this in my bones. All of it. I don’t have a solution and everything I have tried so far has not worked. We got into a huge screaming match about this last week, things improved for a couple of days, and it was back to the usual on Monday.
Cb says
Oh that’s so so tough. We get up at the same time and have been coping alright, but I feel you on being the one to start the laundry etc. It sounds juvenile and I kind of hate it, but I started making a list for my husband during his kid shift.
anne-on says
Taking a page from the poster with a nanny the other day – why don’t you both sit down and agree on what the ‘must happens’ during the day are? Moving over laundry/cleaning up from meals/wiping down surfaces/loading/unloading the dishwasher – these are pretty reasonable and it ISN’T fair that only you do these things. Why don’t you both list out these chores (heck, stick em on a whiteboard) and then whoever is in charge in the AM does the AM ones, whoever is in charge in the PM does the PM ones.
What I will say, is that in our household we also trade chunks of time. So, I’m fine with being the one to manage laundry/cooking IF it means my husband takes my son somewhere outside/out of the house to allow me to do those chores uninterrupted and without adding in any mess. As an introvert, sometimes I find quietly cleaning in an empty house to be way nicer than trying entertain a child, but you know your family best
Anonymous says
Whenever this happens in our house, I assign jobs to husband. He’s not one to come up with things to do on his own (or to know that I’m struggling on the inside about it until I say something). But he’ll do whatever I put on a list. Honestly, I just don’t care that I’m the one making the list. Managing the house doesn’t bother me. And managing is one of my tasks. So DH might do more hands on work than me to even it out.
Cb says
Yep, my husband does way more physical work than I do, because he knows I do all the mental stuff.
anon says
OP here. How do you not care? Because my husband is perfectly willing to pitch in when told what needs to be done, but WHY IS IT ON ME to do that/be the manager? Hence, the rage and score-keeping on my part.
Anonymous says
I don’t care becuase I remind myself of all the amazing things he does for our family, even if he couldn’t care less about clean countertops and unloaded dishwashers. I don’t care because 90% of the time when our child cries in the middle of the night, he tells me to go back to sleep and goes to help her. I don’t care because 3-4 nights a week he is working from 8:30 p.m. to 1:00 a.m. right now even though we have childcare again. I don’t care because whenever I put “clean toilets” on the list, he does it without complaining. I don’t care becuase he 100% takes care of the outside of our house (cars, lawn, garden, etc.) without any input from me and without ever complaining. I don’t care becuase no one loves and supports my child and me more than he does.
Anon says
+100%. When ever I lose my mind about how I’m doing it all and DH does none, I take a step back to realize 1) that’s not the case, there’s just so much to do it feels that way and 2) notwithstanding our different tolerances for cleanliness, he is loving and supportive in many other ways.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1. I’ve gotten flamed before when I’ve mentioned I take on the brunt of kid-related stuff but DH does his fair share of tracking/executing things I don’t (including our puppy and being generally the clean freak) and he works 90 hour weeks regularly as Counsel in BigLaw; my job has me closer to 50 hours a week. I even took the quiz shared here and we broke out even.
Anon2 says
He drops your child at daycare while you empty the dishwasher and put clothes in a washing machine? And he sleeps while you choose to wake up and exercise? I don’t see there being much discrepancy here…
Anonymous says
I’m definitely more like your husband in my relationship. My DH takes care of almost everything at home. That being said… I have agreed to be responsible for distance learning this fall. I have already told my husband that I will prioritize distance learning for my 2nd grader. For my kindergartner I plan to do only the amount of distance learning that leads to me not being reported to the government for having a truant child. The idea of distance learning for young kids is pretty much a joke IMHO, and it makes me angry that our schools can’t just admit the unrealistic and unnecessary burden this places on families.
Anonymous says
Sorry, adding to my own comment — I am hoping my kids will mostly be able to attend school but I know we will be doing at least a few weeks of distance learning at the beginning, and then we’ll see after that…
fallen says
I could have written this post a year ago. We had a similar situation, and it created a lot of resentment for me. One things that was extremely helpful and changed things around for us (I took the quiz and it was 49% for me, 51% for him.. pretty sure a year ago it would have been 70% for me) was to have a very serious talk where I was very vocal about my feelings (e.g., I feel like am doing a lot and it is creating a lot of resentment, we need to problem solve this) and then creating a list of everything that ever needs to be done, and then working together to decide on a permanent division of labor that worked for the both of us.. being very very specific. So for example my husband is responsible for mornings, all dishes and cleanup – I am responsible for evenings childcare, meal cooking, etc.This for the most part solved the issues. But I I had to be good about not ever doing anything that wasn’t my “task” if it occasionally wasn’t done. So if its my husband task to do the dishes/dishwasher and he doesn’t do them, they sit there dirty. I think this last part was key. It’s like if I don’t cook dinner, we get takeout or skip dinner.. my husband is unlikely to just cook it. I am pretty sure if every time I didn’t feel like cooking dinner he would cook it instead I would be barely cooking. It is night and day now and it has really contributed to a much much better relationship for us, and he says he feels much closer to the family bc he is more invested in it. It may not work for you, but thought I would share, because we struggled for so long with this type of situation, and this is what finally worked.
AnotherAnon says
I need a positive thread this morning. I started bullet journaling last night. I just use a cute little Target day planner and colored pens. I write down: something fun we did with kiddo, what we ate since I’ve been trying new recipes this week in an attempt to avoid work, and my workout. It’s not earth-shattering, but it brought me some calm. What’s something that’s bringing you peace or joy this week? Can ofc be a cute kid story – the ones yesterday had me rolling.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I too need some positivity! I feel so powerless with this whole school mess and I keep hoping that things will be better next year, because they just have to be, although I think that will largely depend on what happens in November. Ugh. Anyway, cute kid story:
My 21 month old has really been enjoying playing peek-a-boo. I hide behind one wall in our house, and he hides behind another wall, and then we both slowly peek our heads out, and he finds it hysterical. We could do this for several minutes and he keeps laughing. I’m trying to appreciate these simple moments of joy in the midst of all this craziness.
OP says
Often these days I find myself doing things to try to get kiddo to laugh hysterically. There’s just something about it that brings me joy deep down in my bones.
Cb says
Every morning, I open up the curtains in the sitting room and inspect our garden and the bursts of colour from the wildflowers that toddler and I wildly scattered just make me so happy.
Cb says
A kid one: I picked my son up from the childminder on the bike today and we saw a bin lorry (garbage truck) on the road ahead. My son asked ‘Can you ride fast and catch it, mama? Go, go, go’ and I sped down the hill and we caught up with it. The bin men then gave us a very cheery wave. We tried to race the bus as well but the bus was faster than us. Made our cycle home in the pouring rain a bit more fun. We got in the gate and he said ‘I’m chilly, I need some hot chocolate’
Anonymous says
Kiddo and her neighborhood BFF coincidentally wore the same shirt yesterday. Kiddo was SO EXCITED. It was so cute.
Anon says
My 2.5 year old recently learned of the words “yesterday” and “tomorrow”. However, things that happened “yesterday” could have been 10 minutes ago or 3 months ago. Whenever we ask her to do something she doesn’t want to do, “ummm maybe tomorrow”.
Allie says
Well in some other languages the word for “yesterday” really can mean yesterday or 3 months ago, so maybe she’s just speaking her own language!
anon says
We were finally able to kick off some tele-therapy for my 7 year old who has been super angry during the covid madness. It’s not perfect, but I feel so glad that we took a big step in the right direction and I really hope that it can help him in some areas he was struggling with pre-covid. I’m so grateful to have some support and to maybe take a step out of the treading water phase, since it feels like we have been teacher/therapist/play date/chef/cleaner/every possible thing for the kids without adequate resources for so long.
anon says
My 5-year-old calls herself the “garden fairy” and literally puts on a pair of wings and dances through our garden every evening. And is picking the tomatoes for me. It is so cute and makes my heart burst with happiness.
I like the idea of starting a bullet journal, BTW. Anything that makes us feel like we’re making progress is good for the mind right now.
Pogo says
That is so cute! My 3yo also starting picking the tomatoes (aka “momatoes”) yesterday. He’s getting better at identifying the ripe ones, finally…
Lyssa says
We had some cupcakes in the office yesterday, and I brought home 2 extras for my 5 and 7 year old. 5 wound up not eating hers, so my husband ate it after bedtime. This morning, 7 got up and saw the empty wrapper and was outraged. “I thought you were going to save that for 5! Why did Daddy do that?”
He was just absolutely indignant that his poor sister had been denied a cupcake.
Anon says
This is cute but why does your office have shared food right now
Anonymous says
… or people in the office?
Lyssa says
I work in an essential industry, we never left the office. And why would there be an issue with shared food? It’s hardly any more dangerous then take-out.
Anon says
The cdc recommends against shared food
Anon says
I don’t think a box of cupcakes where you each take one without touching the others is really “shared food.” Don’t share food means don’t eat half a sandwich and then offer it to someone.
Walnut says
OMG…this is a thread about being positive. if you want to be grumpy about someone else partaking in shared food, start your own thread.
That said, my neighbors borrowed a GIANT blow up water slide monstrosity and we put it in the yard between the two houses. All the kids lost their minds and bedtime was super easy. They’re for sale for ~$600 so we’re considering going halvsies on one for the rest of the summer.
avocado says
There is one of these things in every yard on our street, and they have been in constant use all summer. If you can get your hands on one, it would be totally worth the money.
In a moment of crushing boredom I even had a fleeting thought that I should buy one for my 13 y/o and me. Her dad would be too heavy to use it, though, and the two of us would really be too tall.
Anon says
Opening my office window and playing music while I work helps me to get going and overcome the blahs.
Anonymous says
My almost two year old can say “Gam-ma” for Grandma, but for some reason she called Grandpa “Poo-pah.” It’s HYSTERICAL. You can tell my dad doesn’t love it but doesn’t want to make too big of a deal out of it in case it sticks.
Anon says
Funny but not funny (I take my humor where I can get it). We keep telling MIL to stop hitting (arm swat, not like a right hook) my FIL (and frankly she does it to DH too now, but he usually strives to stand or sit far enough out of reach) every time she thinks he’s not paying attention to her (this is something that’s gotten worse recently, particularly because FIL is hard of hearing, and she’s also prone to the old lady ankle cane rap I remember my grandmother doing since MIL got a cane last year). MIL is in denial that she does this, thinks we’re all imagining it, etc. At their house yesterday, my 2.5YO started calling FIL by his first name and whacking him in the arm repeatedly just like MIL does. TBD if this has an impact on MIL. (We of course corrected toddler each time explaining that we don’t hit people, but really, MIL should have been listening too). Oh from the mouths (or actions) of babes….
Anonymous says
Not kid related but we got a Peleton last week and I am in love. I don’t think I’d realized how much I’d missed 1. hard workouts, and 2. group fitness classes, but I feel 1000% better now that I’m back in a good exercise groove.
My 4 year old woke up as I was finishing my workout yesterday, and adorably attempted to follow along with the stretching with me, chattering away the whole time about how exercise is important because it keeps our bodies and minds strong.
Walnut says
My toddlers fall asleep to the hum of the Peloton. It’s a great tool when bedtime is going abysmally and I’m ready to scream.
Anonymous says
I also love bullet journaling! I’ve been doing it for about two years, nothing fancy, I don’t even really use colors, but it helps me organize my thoughts.
Positives for me: this week my toddler FINALLY started saying “Mama.” She says lots of other words, including Dada! Dada! Dada! all day long, plenty of animals and objects, but for whatever reason only finally started pointing at me and saying “Mama” recently. Yesterday my husband brought her home from our nanny share and I was upstairs on the exercise bike. He said she wandered around the downstairs saying, “Mama? Mama?” until he brought her upstairs to see me. <3
And we just had a win on a motion to dismiss that I drafted with a lot of independence (I'm a senior associate in Biglaw so it's not always a given that what we actually file will look anything like my first draft, and this one did). Feels good.
Anon says
We just visited daycare in advance of reopening and it turns out the staff are mostly a earing clear plastic face shields instead of masks. I fully support anyone who wants to wear both, because I realize face shields protect the wearer’s eyes and masks don’t. But aerosols can float out and around face shields in a way they don’t with masks, so masks protect other people better. Would you complain to the school about this? I don’t want to be a pain in the A but I feel like if my toddler can wear a mask all day the teacher should be wearing a mask (plus a face shield if they want). At the same time, my kids classroom has only 3 teachers and I know the odds of one of them getting infected are small. I’m not worried about exposure to people not in our classroom. And I understand there are benefits to not having the teacher’s mouths covered in terms of children learning language and how to read emotion.
Anon says
I’d complain. Point to CDC guidelines
Anon says
Face shields are not nearly as effective as masks. I would not be comfortable.
Anon says
Personally I wouldn’t, but my kid is also younger (1) so I think there’s a real benefit to being able to see the teacher’s mouth at that age. But if the kids are old enough to wear masks and keep them on, it seems strange that the teachers aren’t as well. Plus if you were in a hotspot, I would definitely complain.
Anonymous says
I think that kiddos need to see a smiling face and in a mask you can’t see that. Like they get no social cues at all from a mask.
Anon says
Hmm, I disagree that you can’t pick up any social cues when everyone’s masked up. Even 2 year olds can detect emotions through body language and tone of voice. But more than that, I feel like if anyone should be unmasked in the classroom, it should be the kids, given the data that kids are less likely to transmit it and that the point of preschool is mostly to learn to interact with peers, not adults. What really bothers me is that the school seems to think the kids are all little disease vectors and the teachers won’t spread it to simply due to good hygiene, when the science actually shows that Covid is mostly airborne, so good hand-washing – while important – isn’t enough to stop it, and adults are way more likely to spread it than kids.
Anon says
I think it depends on age. A two year old may have already seen plenty, but what about a baby who is at daycare for most of their waking hours? They will rarely see a mouth, possibly for years, and I’m willing to bet that we will later find out that it does have a developmental impact. I’m not saying that to dismiss the importance of wearing a mask, because it is important. It’s a terrible situation from many angles.
Anon says
Fair enough, but then I think you could make it a more narrow policy. There’s only one infant room, so those teachers could be exempt from the mask requirement just like the babies are. There’s no developmental reason for the receptionist not to be wearing a mask.
Anon says
Not a hotspot, except to the extent that the whole US is a hotspot. But they’ve put in place many other precautions that seem much less effective than masks, like removing all the toys that can’t be wiped down with Lysol and making the parents launder the children’s bedding every day. One of the most frustrating things to me about this pandemic is that so many people prioritize things differently than I would, whether it’s school reopening procedures like this or big picture government decisions (like leaving bars open while the schools stay closed).
AnotherAnon says
I would not complain about this.
Anonymous says
I would absolutely complain. Face shields are a supplement to masks, not a replacement for them. Even our ridiculous anti-science school district, which has gotten a waiver from the state so it doesn’t even have to keep students three feet apart, much less six feet apart, won’t allow face shields in place of masks.
Anonymous says
It would depend where I live whether I complained about this, meaning what the situation is like regarding Covid numbers. I’m pretty over people complaining about wearing a mask, but I am more sympathetic in daycare and school settings where I feel like seeing mouths can be important to development and learning.
allysa says
Did you see the swiss hotel case that was posted around here a little while back? the masks didnt do anything
Anonymous says
No, it was the face shields that didn’t do anything. Masks were effective.
Anonymous says
The face shields didn’t do anything. Masks were effective.
anon says
I would push back. Not only are the kids not protected but the other teachers and adults there are not protected from the face-mask only wearers.
https://www.insider.com/face-shields-did-not-protect-people-from-coronavirus-swiss-outbreak-2020-7
SC says
Last week, I posted that our area’s public schools were planning to return in-person 5 days/week for K-5, and 2 days per week for 6-12. The teachers are now requesting that in-person instruction be delayed and are considering a strike. They wrote an open letter with 165 questions about how safety recommendations will be implemented–https://htv-prod-media.s3.amazonaws.com/files/jft-letter-to-school-board-july-2020-final-1596052126.pdf. There are some good questions there, and it’s also crazy that school is supposed to start in 10 days, and the district presumably does not have answers to those questions. Clearly, this specific case is not just the teachers having a knee-jerk reaction of “We can’t go back until there’s zero risk to anyone.”
It’s a moot point for my family. We decided about a month ago to enroll Kiddo (entering kindergarten, has special needs but no formal diagnosis and no IEP yet) in a small, private school for students with exceptionalities. Since the school already has small classes and few transitions, they’re able to follow most of the recommendations without too much disruption. We didn’t think public school would be able to provide special education resources to the same extent (plus we’d need to go through their formal evaluation process, which could take months). Other private schools might not be able to accommodate an extra adult in the room after maximizing class size, and it turns out that the behavioral assistants we’re on the waiting list for aren’t planning to provide any services this semester.
Anonymous says
I wish teachers’ unions would organize a nationwide strike. We live in a right-to-work state, so the unions have no power. Every teacher I know is terribly angry that they are being forced back into the classroom 5 days a week with no social distancing, but none will speak up for fear of losing their job.
Anonymous says
Can you tell me where teachers are going back 5 days a week? Would consider renting a house there.
Anonymous says
Where there is going to be a massive surge around the first week of October, at which point schools will shut down for the remainder of the year.
Anonymous says
City, State please
Anon says
Nah. Masks actually work. There will be cases here and there, but I think people will be surprised by the lack of outbreaks in districts that use masks and distancing. Except we probably won’t actually find out, because essentially every school district in the country is going virtual without even attempting to have in-person education. That’s what really gets me. This whole thing might be completely fine, but no one will even try. If we put all the precautions in place that we can think of, and we still have major outbreaks in schools, then yes let’s move online while infection rates remain high and we still don’t have a widely available treatment or vaccine. But people won’t even try, so we’ll never know how safe school might have been with masks.
Anonymous says
No social distancing + poorly enforced masking + no ventilation or windows = everyone gets sick
Anon says
What district is making teachers go back with no social distancing? Most districts are going virtual and those that are going in person are taking tons of precautions.
Anonymous says
Hanover County, Virginia.
Anonymous says
Before anyone says “but they have a choice!”, they really don’t. The on-line “option” is no option at all for teachers. If they volunteer for the on-line school, they lose their original positions at their brick-and-mortar schools, and may not have jobs after this year. Despite the fact that on a survey 50% of teachers expressed interest in teaching on line, only 5% have actually volunteered to teach on line for this reason.
The in-person schools will operate 5 days a week. The county has stated that it will not even be able to provide for 3-foot distancing, and that students will eat lunch in classrooms unmasked. Most middle school and high school classrooms have no windows.
Teachers will also be forced to supervise isolation rooms for students suspected to have COVID.
Our neighboring districts have gone on-line only for the first quarter.
Anon says
They do have a choice. They can do their jobs, or they can quit their jobs. It’s the same choice every other person who can’t work from home has. Is it a privilege to be able to work from home? Yes, absolutely. But lots of people don’t have that privilege and I don’t understand why teachers are uniquely special and deserve different treatment than all the other workers who can’t do their jobs from home.
Anonymous says
But the choice is not being framed in that way–do your job or quit. It’s being framed as “all teachers have this wonderful choice to teach remotely!” That is problematic, because it’s a lie.
Anonymous says
Anon @2:20, would you say the same thing to a lawyer whose firm was demanding that she come back to work in a small room with 25 other people, most of whom were not wearing masks, and none of whom were able to get 3 feet apart, much less 6 feet apart?
Anon says
It depends. Can the lawyer meaningfully do their job from home? If yes, then I think they should be able to stay home. It’s been discussed here many times, but keeping everyone who can work from home at home protects everybody, not just the people who get to stay home. Fewer people working in offices = fewer total infections = fewer essential workers getting infected. I think there’s room for debate about whether junior high and high school teachers can meaningfully work from home, although from the parents I know with kids that age it sounds like the online instruction was pretty weak and not a reasonable substitute for in-person instruction. But elementary school teachers simply cannot perform their jobs from home. Kids that age mostly can’t learn well online, need in-person interactions with peers and can’t be left home alone.
Anon says
I also don’t understand your comment about requiring someone to come back to a room with no masks and no distancing. The vast majority of public school districts in the US seem to have thrown in the towel on in-person instruction this academic year, but those that are trying to open in-person are all mandating masks, spacing desks over 6 feet apart, holding classes outside when possible, updating HVAC systems, building plexiglass “stalls” for teachers to stand in, and all sorts of other precautions. I haven’t heard anyone say schools should reopen exactly as they were last year. Everyone wants the classroom to be as safe as possible, and understands that that requires significant changes. The resistance is to schools giving up without even trying to open with these precautions in place, and to teachers saying they can’t come back until infection rates are way lower, there’s a vaccine, there’s no risk of getting sick or dying, etc.
Anonymous says
What Hanover County Public Schools is doing is dodging the issue. They are offering a “choice” between on-line learning and in-person learning with no physical distancing, no ventilation, lunch in classrooms, and no enforcement of the mask requirement. The “choice” allows the district to abdicate responsibility for implementing any kind of mitigation for in-person learning. That is much different from offering in-person learning to elementary kids with physical distancing, masks, ventilation, and outdoor lunch, which might make sense.
Anonymous says
Anon@2:51, I am specifically discussing Hanover County, Virginia schools. The county has been granted a variance from the state minimum distancing requirement of 3 feet, and has stated repeatedly that it cannot ensure any distancing at all. The county has also refused to provide any information on how the mask “requirement” will be enforced, and has specifically stated that students will be required to remove their masks to eat lunch in classrooms while sitting less than 3 feet apart. All of this adds up to no distancing and unreliable masking, with no masking at certain times of day.
Anonymous says
I’m agonizing about sending my 1 year old back to daycare! I know a lot of people are in this boat. We need childcare in order to succeed at our jobs. But increasing our chances of getting sick is so worrying! We’ve held out for over 5 months but something has to give. I know it will be good for us, I’m just torn.
Anonymous says
To the extent anecdata helps you, we’ve had our littlest back in daycare since May 1 without any issue. No closures, no problems. To say it’s been life changing for our family for her to go back would be an understatement.
Walnut says
Our three kids under five went back in mid-May. The school made adjustments to minimize contact between rooms (and we contributed also by moving our oldest to the middle’s room). Knock on wood, we haven’t had any positive tests thus far.
It was uncomfortable the first few days, but in my mind, very few decisions in life come with zero risks. I’m very happy with the decision now that we’ve made it.
Anon says
It is weird getting used to being inside with people! I took my kid to daycare for a visit today and it was the first time I’ve been indoors with anyone not in my immediate family since mid-March. I didn’t feel anxious exactly while I was there but it was very weird and jarring and now I feel sick (which I know is 100% in my mind). I think it was weird for my kid too, although she wasn’t really able to articulate it.
Anon says
Same boat here. My 2 year old is supposed to go back in a week and a half, and I’m definitely anxious about her physical health and to a lesser degree my husband’s and my physical health. It’s hard because while I know my daycare is trying really hard to keep kids and staff healthy I don’t see eye-to-eye with them on all the reopening plans (I was the one asking about teachers wearing face shields above). At the same time, I don’t see staying home as risk-free either. There are very real risks to my daughter’s mental health and social/emotional development, as well as our mental health and careers, from not having her in school. My family can’t really afford a nanny and even if we could, a nanny doesn’t solve the problem of getting her interaction with peers and getting her out of the house so we can work. We don’t have a trusted family to pod with here, and I’m not convinced that drop-in toddler classes or podding with families we don’t know well is much safer than daycare and it’s a lot more logistical work.
In a perfect world, in which I lived in the same city as my lifelong BFF, and I could pod with her and her three kids effortlessly and share childcare costs with her, would I choose that? Probably. But I don’t have that option. I’m choosing among less-than-ideal options and I believe going back to daycare is the least bad option for our family, weighing all the mental, emotional and physical risks.
Anonymous says
There’s an article in the NY Times today about how to deal with anxiety about making school/childcare decisions that might be helpful. It isn’t giving advice about what to do with your kids, it’s about how to feel okay with whatever decision you make.
Boston Legal Eagle says
It might help to think through your choices here. You have the choice of sending your kid back to daycare, which IMHO with all of the safety regulations and data about low transmission and effects on kids, is fairly low risk vs. keep them home, which is not sustainable for both of you working vs. other caregiver option (who will also introduce some risk as well, but maybe less) vs. one of you quits to stay home and watch the kid. You may have other factors that I’m not aware of in terms of immunocompromised family members, but for us as two healthy-ish young adults with two young kids, the small risks of daycare were worth it.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
If we weren’t surging right now, I’d send my son back in a heartbeat.
Anonymous says
Sadly, pretty much the whole US is surging right now. The states that aren’t surging are the ones like AZ that have reached a peak, but those states still have a high number of new infections per day.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Totally agree; it won’t be 0 risk for a while in terms of COVID-19, but I do think there’s a difference between a major city in TX (where I am, and we’re slowwwwly coming on the downside of a peak) and the D.C. Area or NYC Metro Area.
Pogo says
Late in the day, so I’ll try again tomorrow… remind me what the latest thinking is on out of office for maternity leave? Do we give an end date, mention the reason? And did you block your calendar as out of office the entire time or just leave it?
I think last time I just said, “I am out of the office on leave. Please contact xyz for blah blah blah etc” and I definitely didn’t block my calendar. But, I was an individual contributor and not involved with leadership and multiple initiatives beyond my immediate org like I am now.
Anonanonanon says
I did not give an end date because you never know how it will go. I believe I said
“I am out of the office on extended medical leave and will be unable to check email during this time.
For questions regarding X, please contact [email protected]
For questions regarding Y, please contact [email protected]
For general questions regarding Z Division, Contact [email protected]
For all other issues, please contact my supervisor, [email protected]”
I refused to call it maternity leave because we don’t get that in the US so it was short-term disability and FMLA, but if I wasn’t so bitter I probably would have said “parental leave”
Anonanonanon says
I replied but went into mod because I used pretend email addresses it thought were real, but
I did not give an end date because you never know how it will go. I believe I said
“I am out of the office on extended medical leave and will be unable to check email during this time.
For questions regarding X, please contact X@ work.whatever
For questions regarding Y, please contact Y@ work.whatever
For general questions regarding Z Division, Contact Staffperson@ work.whatever
For all other issues, please contact my supervisor, Boss@ work.whatever”
I refused to call it maternity leave because we don’t get that in the US so it was short-term disability and FMLA, but if I wasn’t so bitter I probably would have said “parental leave”