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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Not the poster from yesterday, but also moving with 2 small kids. I am definitely using the packing service after all the recommendations from yesterday! For anyone that has done it, can you explain the logistics? Do you watch them pack? Pack with them? Were there items that you packed yourself (other than bulky items like pillows and lamp shades)? I guess this is something you just have to live through yourself, but I can’t picture how it actually works.
Also, are there any good preschooler books about moving?
You definitely don’t pack with them. You can supervise them, but you can also leave the house to do something fun. We had them pack our whole house, although we put most of our clothes in suitcases, since we needed to move the suitcases anyway and it seemed silly to move them empty with clothes in boxes.
I would pack a suitcase of clothes like you are going on a one week vacation. And have a cardboard box and cooler of breakfast/snacks/lunch stuff for the next morning. That was you’ll be set even if you unpack nothing on the first night/day.
You watch them pack. I think I folded laundry or something while they packed so that I wasn’t in their way but I was available to them if they had questions. We had them pack the kitchen and dining room, we packed the bedrooms stuff ourselves (just used wardrobe boxes and moved everything from the closet directly into hanging in the wardrobe boxes).
The only small downside is that they wrap everything so well it takes forever to unwrap and unpack everything if you don’t hire them to unpack. I was fine with this because I didn’t need to unpack my china immediately or anything.
I actually found it kinda stressful to be in there while they were packing and so left my husband there to answer any questions and I went out to a coffee shop.
We designated one closet to be a “do not pack” closet and in there we put everything we wanted for the first week (suitcase of clothes, sippy cups, snacks, bedding, loveys, a few books, etc).
So Anon says
I moved every 18 mos. to three years with my mom and then followed a similar schedule myself in adulthood. We always watched them pack. Pack and move anything that is valuable yourself (jewelry, silver, etc.). I would also pack a box or two to be opened first in each room. For the bedrooms, that would be sheets, pillowcases, alarm clock. For kitchen, its the coffee maker, crock pot (make a few frozen meals ahead of time that you can dump in the crock pot for dinner), etc. My suggestion would be to get a roll of red duct tape or packing and close the boxes with that tape so that they are easy to spot in a room full of boxes. Also, packers will pack anything and everything, including an empty box of laundry detergent, so do a full clean out of empty stuff and trash before they come.
I always thought packing services were super expensive. How much was it to pack your house?
Go for it says
Call local movers as this $ varies by zip code
You will be much better off if you supervise your packers. Most importantly, you can stop them from packing crazy stuff like your oven racks, toilet paper tube holders, trash cans full of trash, fire alarms, silverware trays from the dishwasher, etc. You can also keep them from stealing stuff (it happens). Supervising will give you a better idea of what box of stuff contains what when you unpack.
We always do one supervising person per two packers with the kids not on site. While supervising, you can write notes on the boxes about what they contain or what room you want them in when you arrive.
I had a packing service several times when I was in the military, because yay, that’s one part of moving you don’t have to deal with every 2 years!
It can be difficult to supervise the packers, because often they bring a team and split up to different rooms. I would certainly have one person on site to supervise, for the reasons anon at 11:48 mentions, but get the kids off site if you can. If you have pets, make sure they are off site or restrained out of the way, as well. I heard horror stories in the military of cats accidentally being packed because they were hiding inside something. I recommend having a DO NOT PACK! room, and putting everything you want to move, yourself, in there. Easiest to have this be a bathroom, probably.
The packers will pack everything unless you explicitly tell them not to.
As far as preschooler books about moving… my kids like Alexander, Who’s Not (Do you hear me? I mean it!) Going to Move. It’s the same author and Alexander as the terrible horrible no good very bad day, and it’s not the most *positive* take on moving, although it resolves at the end. If your kid has big negative emotions about moving, it might be a good mirror for that.
We have had our movers pack us the last few times, this latest with a toddler and baby. Definitely get the kids out of the house, and while there wasn’t much for me to do and I did pop out for coffee, etc., I stayed around to be available for questions as others have noted above. I did a little work from home. Things the “do not pack” area included for us were: important docs like passports, anything sentimental and irreplaceable including a few jewelry items, plus as others have noted things as though you were going on a few-day trip (loveys for kids, diapers, etc.), and things like a stash of TP and soap and towels to make sure we weren’t digging for those.
I really preferred having the packing and moving on separate days – packing Friday (kids in daycare!) and moving Saturday. When we did them together, it was an incredibly long day. For our 2.5-yo, we took her to the new place a few times we moved in to explain to her what was happening, which room would be hers, let her help pick out paint for her room. I highly recommend that if you are moving locally – when we got to the new place, she knew which room was hers and was excited.
Big Ernie’s New Home – a Story about Moving and the Berenstain Bears Moving Day helped my two 4 year olds with processing the move (we moved across the country). We previewed Alexander Who’s Not Going to Move and didn’t want to give the kids any more fuel and words to fight the move, so we passed on that one.
Rocking chair? says
Hi – I’m looking for a relatively slim rocking chair (not a glider) that we can keep in our bedroom and use to nurse/soothe our baby. We already have an awesome larger one in the nursery (the nursery works sleepytime rocker) but our toddler sleeps there and so we need something for our baby at night. I’m thinking just a wooden rocking chair with pillows tied on but am open. Small footprint is must. Any recommendations? Our style is generally modern with some traditional pieces.
Are you committed to a rocking chair? We had the Ikea EKENÄS for our first kid and it was a perfect nursing chair, and then easily repurposed as a regular armchair post-nursing. When the baby needed extra soothing after feeding, we bounced her on a big yogaball.
Thanks but it definitely has to rock. This baby needs a lot of rocking and right now we’re killing our backs just rocking forward and back on a small normal chair.
I’m in the UK so no direct recommendation but I have one from the futon company which is great. I’d try looking at stores which cater to smaller spaces.
We have the Ikea Poang rocker (there is the regular bouncer version and a rocking chair version). It sounds like the aesthetic you’re looking for but may not be slim enough. Worth checking though, as it’s pretty cheap and I find it comfortable.
We used a Poang (non-rocker) and I liked everything about it but the armrests. Definitely need a pillow or something under your elbow so your arms don’t go numb when you’re holding a baby.
True. We have a full pillow (like a bed pillow w/pillowcase, not a smaller throw) and then sit next to it. That also gives you an idea of its width.
We have this rocker as well, and while I love it (super comfy for me) and it’s been great for both my kids, I don’t think it’s a great rocking chair. Ours, at least, rocks a little jerky rather than smoothly like a traditional rocking chair or glider.
Monte Design has great stuff. Friends have been happy with the Luca and the Joya
We have the Luca glider and it was great and not too big. My kids are big now – if you’re in Chicago, let me know!
My 3 year old came home from school yesterday with a bad scrape on her back. She doesn’t know how it happened and neither do her teachers or school bus driver (I thought she might have fallen getting off the bus in the morning). She’s almost 4 and in junior kindergarten (not sure if it’s called the same thing in the US). I think it’s super weird that no one knows how it happened. I wouldn’t blink an eye at a knee or elbow scrape, but a bloody scrape on her back seems off to me. I need to just let this go, right? It’s not super painful to her and it should heal quickly. Thoughts?? (This transition to kindergarten is no joke, guys. Soo rough.)
In the US three year olds go to preschool, just since you asked!
I think that’s easily the result of any number of playground falls that could go unnoticed and unremarked on.
This happens to my kids pretty regularly. They almost never know what it came from but my guess is a slide or sliding off a platform on the playground.
My 4 year old kindergartener came home with a scrapped up hip yesterday from a fall at the playground. It was strange to have him tell me about it vs. at daycare where there is a written incident report for the smallest mark or scrape. Kids are pretty resilient and if they are busy playing on the playground, they may not notice an injury and report it in the same way vs. daycare where the teachers are more hawk eyed. I’d not worry about it unless it happens again.
This happens to my 6-year-old all the time, and half the time he can’t even remember what he did to get the injury. I think it is weird too, but not enough to be concerned. Kids to all kinds of weird things to their bodies.
If she didn’t even notice it when it happened, I would not worry. I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it, either. Kids get scraped and bruised all the time. Even as an adult I get bruises that I can’t explain. It is just part of being active.
I would be concerned if she were actively trying to conceal an injury that actually bothered her. This can be a problem with slightly older kids who are athletes and don’t want to be made to sit out.
Thanks so much everyone, this is really helpful. I think anonymous at 9:22 is right that it’s the difference between this and daycare where they called or texted if anything happened that is an adjustment for me. I get a little worried because she’s on the younger side for her year (most of her classmates are 4, cutoff is by calendar year) but I will just trust in her resilience. Thank you all.
Yeah, my guess is a misc playground injury. If she wasn’t actively bleeding or in enough pain to alert a teacher, I’d say NBD.
At that age, it actually most likely an injury from crawling under something rather than falling off something. Especially if no one saw her fall (say, a table that was too low or something on the playground).
Cautionary tale: I bribed my child to get ready for bed last night by saying I’d let her open one of her birthday presents once she did so. (She’s got about 20 presents from her recent bday party to open, so I’m doling them out strategically.) Well, she did so, and while I was hoping it would be a book we could read before bed, or a lovey, it turned out to be Candy Land. I had to promise we would play it “tomorrow.”
Well, she was so excited to play Candy Land that she woke up at FOUR-THIRTY this morning, raring to go, and sure enough, from 4:45-5:45 a.m., I played Candy Land (while browsing my phone, please, I’m not a saint).
So, learn from my mistakes ladies: right before bedtime is not the ideal time to open birthday presents. Who knew?
Also, do any of y’all do what I do and open presents over the course of weeks? I feel like if we did it all at once it would just be a blur of stuff. But I hope my friends don’t think I’m insane when they get texts 3 months later saying “We just opened XX’s birthday gift, thanks so much!” Should I just not say anything by that point?
I doled them out this year and regret it. He was asking for presents everyday and every parcel that comes through the door is queried ‘trains?’
We did save a few. My son’s birthday was more than two months ago and every time I bring in any bag or package, he asks, “Present?” Oh well!
Also, that story charmed me! Hopefully once you’re caught up on sleep it gets funnier. :)
This reminds me of the time when I told my 2.5 year old on Christmas Eve, you have to go to sleep or Santa won’t come, and then he was afraid to go to sleep because he was scared of Santa coming. Presents he wanted, but not Santa.
We did often end up opening Christmas gifts over the course of a few days when he was little because he would get engaged in them and want to play with them rather than open more. I didn’t dole them out, just followed his lead. By age 5 or so, my son started to want to open everything immediately, in approximately 20 minutes, and then start playing with stuff. For birthdays, we don’t tend to have that many presents as we don’t have a big family and I don’t usually invite that many kids to his parties.
I’m team all at once – so fun! Can enjoy stuff in turn later.
I’m a thank you stickler, so I personally get all the gifts open so we can take care of those promptly. But also it just doesn’t seem festive to intercept gifts.
We dole out the Christmas presents from whatever side of the family we didn’t celebrate with. I love it — so much more fun and each present gets a ton of focus. It’s especially great because it means that for a big part of January, when it is cold and awful and tough to go outside, we have readymade after-school activities (open a present and then play with it).
Exactly! On a bored day it’s nice to open up something new right then and there.
Laughing because I recently got Candyland (pronouced “Candylion”) for my almost-4 year old and it’s all he wants to do. First thing in the AM? “Mama can we play Candylion?” Just before bed? “Dada, will you play Candylion with me?”
Good Lord, why do they love it so much? At least it requires relatively little parental direction/involvement unlike, say, a craft project or more complicated game.
For your lunch hour reading:
this is hilarious….i loved candy land as a kid and never understood why my mom didn’t want to play it with me.
this may make me evil but I eye-balled the gifts (and opened some in the absence of my son) to give some away before he even saw them. he got a TON of gifts and he does not need them. So i made an executive decision there.
this was for his 3rd birthday – i probably won’t get away with it next year!
Pigpen's Mama says
I may or may not have stacked the Candyland deck so the second card my kid got was the Queen Frostine card, after I made an ill-advised promise to play a game after dinner.
Emily S. says
We don’t dole out presents on purpose, but it has so happened that family has visited around the holiday or birthday, so we open all the presents at the party/on Christmas day, and then the presents from visiting family when they are present (usually a few days before or after.) This is partly because I’m a thank you note stickler, partly because I want one mess of wrapping paper to clean up instead of a trickle, and partly because I think it’s just fun to open the huge pile of presents — it feels like a phase of childhood that won’t last. Teenagers aren’t getting piles of toys to open, so I say, let them have fun with it now.
All the Candyland comments are making me laugh! I have it stashed away for my 4 yo and was going to pull it out tonight while DH is out of town, but I now I think I’ll wait!
Unrelated trick to make Candyland less eye-stabbingly painful – have them draw two cards and choose the one that is “best.” Leads to some interesting choices!
On a related note, I had the Leapfrog ice cream cart on a list of gifts for my son for Christmas, and one showed up 5 minutes from our house on a FB buy/sell page for $10 so I bought it. He has been obsessed with that thing for weeks and has gotten so much use out of it. It made me realize how many Christmas gifts don’t get played with in all the chaos.
My DD has played with this for MONTHS and every kid up to 6 year olds that come over play with it. It’s a great toy.
What time does/did your three year old go to bed? We’ve been on a 7:30ish bedtime for a while, and he consistently wakes up between 7 and 7:30 in the morning. Just recently he’s been awake for AGES after we put him to bed. He’s also been requesting that we stay in there with him. He’s not sad or scared, he just plays in his crib in the dark. Last night he didn’t fall asleep until after 9! I’m okay with pushing it back to 8:00 or maybe even 8:15, but he still needs sleep. Our daycare is terrible with communication so I have no idea if his napping has changed (typically he doesn’t fall asleep during naptime, he just has quiet time). I think 12 or more hours is the ideal of sleep for toddlers, so I just want to make sure he’s getting enough. Curious if we’re just way off base with our bedtime.
Three was when my kid’s falling-asleep (she is now 3.5) started being more unpredictable. We did a couple of things:
1) Adjust bedtime based on whether she napped that day (if she didn’t nap, it’s 7:30, if she did nap, it’s closer to 8). This might be tough if you don’t get any daycare info.
2) Built in some “talking” time before bed (so now we do stories, teeth, and then go into her room and tell her a story or just talk about our days — I think she needs that decompression time more now that she’s older).
3) Got MORE strict about not going back in, because she was starting to really want company/to chat, and we didn’t want to set that precedent.
but honestly as long as you are giving him lots of opportunities to sleep (and it sounds like you are!), I think he’s going to be fine.
Try switching bedtime to 8pm and adding 15 minutes of running around after dinner to tire him out.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Our 3.5 year old still naps at daycare and at home for at least 1 hour, usually 2, so he doesn’t fall asleep until 9 or later now. We usually leave his room by 8:30 and give him one pass to come out (shout out to whoever recommended that here!) and it sort of works. Wakes up at 6-6:30. That doesn’t add up to 12 or more for my kid but I think 10-13 hours is usually the guideline.
It feels really late for me, especially since we started getting ready for bed at 9:30, but we’re not ready to drop that nap yet.
we try to put my 3.5 year old to bed by 8:30. i wish it was earlier but he’s just WIRED. he often doesn’t fall asleep until after 9. sometimes even later. eek. He wakes up at 6:30 and naps are usually 1.5 hours according to daycare. On the weekends he can nap 3-4 hours though. Maybe our lack of consistency is the problem.
My 3 y/o goes to bed at 7 and is asleep by 7:10. She wakes up 6:30-7. She doesn’t nap.
My 6 y/o goes to sleep at 7:30 and sleeps until 7/7:30. She’s in kindergarten so has a bit more going on during the day.
My two year old (low sleep needs) goes to bed between 10 and 11 and gets up around 8. If she skipped her nap (or didn’t nap well) then she *might* go down at 9, but I can count on one hand the number of times that has happened. If I could bottle that energy….
Similar here…until my son started preK we were on a later schedule and he and his younger brother went to bed anywhere from 9-10. We didn’t have to be out the door in the morning until nearly 8:30, they both napped well, and it worked because my husband isn’t usually home from work until at least 7pm so we had some time together. Even now that he’s in school it’s hard to get the routine done by 9 some nights…those evening hours disappear! So I am on team later bedtime.
Emily S. says
7:30 was “in bed,” stories until 7:45/7:50, lights out, then talking in the dark until 8. She seemed to fall asleep pretty quickly after that. She seemed to need the drawn out process; if we tried to do lights out after 1 story, she popped out of bed a few times. Now that’s 4, lights out is closer to 8/8:15, and I’m usually not leaving her room until 8:15 or 8:25.
My 3 year old takes a 1-2 hour nap at preschool. He goes to bed around 8-8:30 and usually sleeps until 7 am (give or take a half hour).
How much do you pump on average on each breast? I’m going back next week at 17 weeks and I have no idea how many oz baby needs on average? I’ll be gone 6 hours a day. Tia.
This varies widely by the person. Some people can pump more than others. And some babies drink more than others. How old is your baby? At three months, I started by giving a three ounce bottle every three hours or so. So for six hours, that would be two three ounce bottles. I pumped for 20 min each time she would be getting a bottle. As my baby needed more milk during the day, I pumped extra in the evenings or weekends and later supplemented with formula. Some people go by the 1.5 oz per hour guideline but that might be on the low side for some babies. You can always call your pediatrician and ask too.
It’s impossible to say because it’s so individual. I went back at 14 weeks. At that point my daughter was drinking about 12 oz during a typical 8 hour workday, and I was able to pump that much in one (long) pumping session.
it varies SO much. My right side could pump 6-7 oz in a session (i called it my superb**b). My left would get just a few drops and it dried up so by 6 months it had nothing. (caveat I had surgery that left scar tissue and is the reason for the difference.)
I usually sent four 4 oz bottles of BM at that age. Sometimes she wouldn’t drink the last bottle, but daycare liked to have extra to soothe her if needed. I usually pumped around 20 oz during the day (initially 2x day, then I was able to drop to 1x and pump the same amount. One side was a power producer and the other was dependable but not as productive.
I always sent 4 x 4oz bottles of breastmilk with my son, for his entire first year. I have no idea if he drank all of that because our daycare was a black hole of info. I gave daycare some extra frozen milk for backup. The amount I pumped in each session varied depending on the time of day and how often I was pumping, how much I had nursed my son overnight, etc. Generally I pumped 2-3 times and stopped after i got 16 oz total. One breast always produced more than the other.
pump production says
I pump 4x/day (20-30 min, depending on whims/schedule/etc) at work with a pie-in-the-sky goal of producing 18 oz (5.5 month old gets 3 bottles, 6 oz each, while I’m gone) but have never gotten there in the 4.5 weeks I’ve been back at work. I also sometimes do some hand pumping right after the bedtime feeding and/or before I go to bed, and I generally get between 1 and 3 oz total from that session. For the daytime, double electric sessions, I get roughly even amounts from each side; for the evening sessions, I don’t track by side. We use freezer stash or formula to make up whatever difference there is between what I’ve pumped and what he eats.
As someone else said, the amount I pump really varies by day. It’s clearly related (especially in the am sessions) to whether there was an overnight feeding (I get more when he didn’t eat overnight), but otherwise, the variance usually feels pretty random. Lots of women find oatmeal and hydration help with their pumping production, but I’m not sure that’s been the case for me. I do think that, with diligent pumping, I’ve been able to gradually increase the amount I’m able to pump per day (tough to say for sure whether a perceived increase is real because of the aforementioned variation). I attribute this to (1) second and third letdowns with the pump have gotten easier for me (basically, my body has gotten more used to the fact that the pump is worth letting down to), (2) I try to keep pumping for a few minutes after milk has stopped flowing, and (3) I’ve been doing a bit of weekend pumping (really sporadic–fitting it in where it’s convenient) to try to keep emptying as fully and frequently as possible.
Right now, my 5 month old eats 3 3.5 ounce bottles. I just increased it from 3 1/4 ounce bottles, but might need to increase it more. We nurse 3 times a day in addition to the bottles. I usually pump more on my left side, but how much depends which side the baby nurses on first in the morning.
I seem to be far on the low end for the amount of milk the baby has during the day, but all three of mine have been similar, and none of them have had weight gain problems or reverse cycled. I originally gave this amount based on kellymom which recommended 1-1.5 ounces per hour (so a 3-4.5 ounce bottle every three hours) but this seems to assume the baby eats round the clock.
I pump twice for 30 minutes each (I go until my spectra turns off, so I don’t have to pay much attention to it), and get about 5 3.5 ounce bottles, so I am freezing the extra. I plan to drop down to once a day at 9 months.
Similar to the post above about misc playground scrapes. My 15 month old just started daycare. She’s the youngest in the younger toddler (15 months-2 years) room. She’s been there 2 weeks and each week, I had an injury/incident report. Both times she hit her head. Once, she “tripped over a chair and hit a wall.” The other time she “was walking and walked into a wall.” Both times she had a big bruise; the second time she had a cut as well.
So, I have 3 kids that have gone through daycare. This is not my first rodeo with incident reports. I get the occasional scrape, bite, what have you. But two in two weeks? My older kids both went to this daycare but there has been turnover with the teachers in this room so both teachers are new to me. My kid is not a klutz. She has never “tripped over a chair” or “fallen into a wall” at home or with other caregivers. DH thinks they’re just not paying enough attention to her– either she’s getting pushed or tripped, or she’s running around when she shouldn’t be or what have you. I think this is being compounded by the newness of the teachers– I picked up DD once and she was HYSTERICAL when I walked in, and the best they could tell me was “she’s upset that other kids are napping.” My kid, who is the most chill kid I’ve ever met, doesn’t get hysterical like that. I’ve seen it exactly once in the 15 months she’s been alive.
So, am I just feeling extra overprotective of my last one here? I already met with the director about the two incident reports–not that they happened, but I was annoyed that they didn’t call or give me a heads up about a head injury, which, while minor, I was pretty sure was their protocol (especially since they didn’t put anything on the one that was bleeding a bit–“we are not allowed to put medication on”–come on, no Neosporin?). As I said I’ve had 2 other kids go through this daycare and I was always in the past given a heads up during the day if my kid got some kind of head injury. I am otherwise inclined just to grit my teeth and count down until my kiddo is ready for preschool, but I don’t want to short change the third kid on safety, either.
It does seem like a lot. My daughter IS clumsy, and falls quite a bit at home but has only had one “incident report” in 4 months in daycare (she tripped over a chain and banged up her cheek).
Chair! Not chain.
This seems well within the realm of normal to me, but then my 18mo had three incident reports last week so maybe my idea of normal is different (fell and bit the inside of his mouth, hit his head on the corner of a table, and scraped his knee). That was an unusually bad week — he generally averages about one incident report every other week (this is his second daycare and he got a lot at his old daycare, too).
I do think it just varies by kid — my first was pretty careful, my second is (obviously) kind of a klutz, and it doesn’t help that he drags around his lovey all the time and sometimes trips over it.
So DD1 went through a phase where she just kept walking into things. Playground equipment, walls, our kitchen table. She had a growth spurt and just assumed she was as tall as she used to be, and had to learn to duck sometimes and stop tripping over her bigger feet.
But I think the most important thing is how you feel after meeting with the director. If the outcome was, yes you’re right, we will definitely be calling you about future head bumps, then I know I’d feel better about seeing if this is just an adjustment thing.
Yeah, that sounds like a lot – I’d want to learn a bit more. My kid’s nursery is rough and tumble and we’ve only had one incident from 12-25 months (it involved a ukelele).
The hysterical incident would really bother me, especially for a kid who isn’t typically hysterical. I’d probably do a few unannounced drop ins and peek in windows to observe. I had a bad feeling about my daughter’s daycare and started visiting at odd times. I saw enough stuff after just a few drop ins that we ended up moving her. I wished that we’d done it sooner.
This. I’d be less bothered by the tripping injuries in a new walker and more bothered by the atypical hysterics. See if you can pick up/drop off at an unexpected time a couple of days to get a better read of the room.
I want to echo others who have said the scrape is probably not a big deal, and could be clumsiness from growing but also…go with your gut. Pop in at random times, ask (polite) questions. We moved a year ago and switched day cares: DS had previously attended an admittedly run-down facility where the caregivers were AMAZING. Our next day care experience was awful. Of course in hindsight there were signs, but it took me several weeks to suss it out. I still feel guilty for the unnecessary stress he endured during that time.
Number 2? says
How would you manage the following situation: I’m 100% certain I want kiddo #2. DH is on the fence. I’ll be 37 next summer. DS is almost 2 and is generally a pretty good kid so far, and DH is very hands-on with him.
DH will sit down and talk about it of course, but I am asking any suggestions on managing in terms of my own anxiety, racing thoughts, etc. Anyone been in a similar situation?
*DH and I…whoops!
Boston Legal Eagle says
What is your anxiety about? Not having more than 1? Or the stress that comes with 2? I was more interested in having at least 2 than my DH, but he wasn’t opposed to it. Since he wasn’t opposed and ultimately I was the one who bore the brunt of pregnancy + nursing, we went for it. He is also very hands on with both kids. This might be sexist but I think if the roles were switched, it’s a harder sell to convince the person who ends up bearing the physical toll to have more kids if she doesn’t want that.
It’s good to have the conversation to address both of your concerns and desires. I’m guessing that he won’t be able to persuade you out of more kids because that’s what your heart wants, and you can brainstorm some ideas for addressing his concerns with 2, if he has any.
I have a different perspective: the partner who wants fewer kids wins, and whose body is gestating the child is irrelevant. If OP’s husband truly doesn’t want another child, it is unfair for her to pressure him into having one, and it will have an adverse impact on their marriage and their existing child. If he just has some reservations but ultimately does want or would at least be okay with a second child that’s another story, but having a child is a situation where no definitely means no.
Agree with this. Until a month or so ago, I was leaning towards being one and done. DH and I talked about the pros and cons at length, and he agreed that, while he wanted another one, it would be my call as to if/when because it would be harder for me (pregnancy/nursing/having a clingy toddler who only wants mom). It really helped me to have several long talks about it, and it wasn’t until my daughter was past the age of 2 that I realized I do want another one.
As to managing anxiety and stress, just remember that you don’t have to decide today or tomorrow. A few weeks or months shouldn’t have a huge impact on your fertility, and it’s so important to make sure you and DH are on the same page before committing to having a second child.
Why is it sexist to point out that the one who has to be pregnant has a “no” that carries more weight? The real sexism would be to erase that huge physical difference and to say that it’s irrelevant.
First pregnancy is making me so miserable my husband is okay with us fostering or adopting subsequent children
Yup, my anxiety comes from the possibility of not having a sibling for DS, and feeling like I’m running out of time fertility-wise (which I know depends on so many factors) Selfishly, I am very close to my sibling (and we have a sizeable age gap).
You’re right – we’re generally good partners and the least we can do is hear each other out and figure out what compromises to make.
Your DS will be fine as an only child. Just because there is a sibling there is no guarantee that they will be close.
This. Please have another child because YOU want another child, not because you feel like your child needs a sibling. My parents had another kid because they didn’t want me to be alone. There’s a 6 year age gap. My sister and I get along well now, but I wouldn’t say we are close, and the first 20 years were hell. My baby due in January will be an only for many reasons and my sibling experience is one of them.
My sisters are two of the worst humans I have met in my life. My parents are so heartbroken at their children not getting along that I became estranged from the entire family.
Just… have another kid because you want another kid and would be a good mom, not because your kid “needs” a sibling.
100% to these sentiments. I also want another kid, and would like to be a mom to 2, and agree there are plenty of scenarios where siblings are not close.
I’d say, “I really want to try for #2. Ideally I’d like to be having that baby before I am / after current kiddo is . so that means we would start trying . What do you think?”
When we tried for #2, it was more about spacing as we knew we wanted two. With our third, DH and I had been drinking wine and decided our kids amazing, we’d be doing the world a favor by having a third, carpe diem. We decided to start trying. The first time the timing was right we had s*x and I was pregnant. We were a little shocked since our first two each took ~6 months but we were happy. And then we began the mental countdown of “in 3 years, we’ll have spotty trained 2.5 year old and we can BURN THE DIAPERS!” We were on the fence about 3, but now very glad we did it. And we are both decidedly D.O.N.E.
Two is so hard, like game changer hard. Both DH and I feel this way, granted we only have a 24 month age difference and perhaps it’s better with a 3+ age difference. A LOT of our friends said their husband’s had trouble agreeing to the second (mine included) but like Boston eagle said, most of the work (pregnancy and nursing) falls to me, so it was ultimately my choice. I know in the long run, we would for sure have two but man is it hard right now. I’d make sure your DH is comfortable and walk through logistics and go for it (especially with age).
This is helpful to know that other friends had the same issue. Thank you!
Yeah, I think I’m not shocked but a little surprised because DH has been onboard when we talk big picture (e.g. how many bedrooms a house we would buy should ideally have, names we like/don’t like, etc.), but now that it’s getting close to the time of thinking about pulling the goalie he’s expressed he is on the fence.
He might just want a little break from the stress of parenting a baby/young toddler? Honestly, I think that’s completely fair, even if he’s not the one who has to be pregnant. You’re acting like he’s pulled some dramatic bait and switch. But he hasn’t done that, he’s just asking for a little more time and I think you’d be crazy not to give it to him. A person who’s really ready for a(nother) kid will be a much better parent. You’ve only recently turned 36 (“next summer” is 9-12 months away), it’s not reasonable to act like he has to knock you up next month or your chances of having a second kid are over.
I needed to hear this. Thank you (seriously).
I will also add that pregnancy with a toddler is very different than pregnancy with no children, for many women. Most men who aren’t a-holes do a lot more hands-on toddler parenting when they have a pregnant wife, so it’s not like you being pregnant has absolutely no effect on him until the baby pops out.
Will add that me being pregnant with our second was really hard on my husband and actually my parents. I had placenta prévia with bleeding so there were 6 weeks where I was really limited on what I could do. And the end of pregnancy was awful because I had an abnormally large baby. Add in first trimester fatigue and nausea…my DH did a LOT. Now he’s still hands on with toddler because I’m sitting feedingnyhe baby a lot of the time.
I think it depends on your kids’ personalities and the age split. Going 1-2 was the hardest for us, but going 2-3 was also nuts. It’s because my middle was/is super high maintenance and is a crap sleeper even now at 4. If I had 3 of my first or 3 of my third, it would be totally different. They are chill villains.
I’m curious about your experience from 2-3. I think it’s rare to see professional women with 3 (as 1 or 2 seems the norm). How do you navigate it? Have you found yourself having to explain why you didn’t stop at 2? I think going from 0-1 was much harder than 1-2, partly because my kids have a big enough gap where my DS can help by DD, but not so big that they’re not close. I’m nervous about going from 2-3 and being outnumbered.
Not original anonymous, but we are a family of two professionals who are planning on having 4. We just added #3 and he was definitely the easiest add for us as well, for similar reasons of my #2 was/is a really high maintenance kid. I think it is also easier because you have your parenting groove. It’s not to say that the first two months weren’t really hard (I typically have PPD/A so that is hard to navigate) but once we found our rhythm it has been smooth sailing. We are doing some things to make it easier this time: getting a nanny rather than daycare, my DH staying home for leave after mine, etc.
A lot of people are curious about “why 3”, so yes, I did field that questions a lot. And most assume we are done now, so that will be interesting when we are not. It’s funny though, i was on the fence about #3 because #2 was so difficult. We waited for a longer time period between them and now #3 is 4 months and I am ready to add a 4th. So I think it is all timing and personality.
I’ve heard people say “one is like one and two is like 10.” I only have one, but observing friends who have two has made me think there’s truth to that statement! However, our first was easy and we were really boring before she came along, so she changed our lifestyle basically not at all. I know friends who had a much harder adjustment with their first.
See, I don’t know that this is true. For us, going from 0 to 1 was so, so much harder. 1 to 2 was logistically difficult, but otherwise super easy.
I disagree that the woman’s opinion should hold more weight. I think the “person who wants fewer children”‘s opinion should hold more weight. I don’t think it’s fair to bring a child into the world when both people aren’t fully on board, even if the woman will is solely responsible for pregnancy and nursing. I am an only child and have an only child though, so clearly I don’t think it’s some kind of disaster scenario. I understand why you want more than one, but don’t think you should have a second unless you can get your husband fully on board.
+1. The woman may be solely responsible for pregnancy and nursing, but I assume you want your husband to be an equal parent. That means signing him up for 18+ years of very hands on parenting. I don’t believe that is a decision that one person should intentionally make for another.
If your DH isn’t ready yet, I’d realize that a lot can change in a relatively short period as your DS turns 2. I absolutely wasn’t ready before my DD turned 2. I just needed a breath. She wasn’t sleeping. I was so tired. By 2 years 3 months, enough had changed that I was ready. She was sleeping. She was more independent. We had her sibling right as she turned 3. I’d take it month by month. He may be ready sooner than you realize.
I think the best the thing you can do right now is keep the conversation going with your husband. Not in a trying-to-convince-him way but more in a this-is-what-our-lives-could-look-like and let’s-talk-about-pros-and-cons kind of way. I know you are anxious about your age, but if your husband isn’t also on board, it won’t be the great situation you want it to be.
Boston Travel says
I’m flying into Boston with my two-year-old and four-year-old next month. We will be getting in late at night (10ish), and will need to get to a hotel in Cambridge. I am guessing that my best option will be to fly with our car seats and buckle them into an Uber, but if you ladies have any other suggestions please let me know! Thanks so much.
If I were getting in that late, and on my own, I would probably just spend some money and reserve a car service, with carseats, ahead of time. That way you know for sure that it will be waiting for you and you don’t have to wrangle carseats (assuming you won’t need them for the rest of the trip either). I used the “Boston Airport Express” service when I lived there but I don’t know if they are still around.
Thanks so much!
yes i have used them as well in boston and highly recommend. you wont need carseats the rest of the time.
Irish Midori says
Has anyone here taken depression/anxiety meds while pregnant? I’m just into my 3rd trimester, and feel the anxiety creeping in. I mentioned it to my OB this morning, more as a “hey, watch for this” because I had PPD with my first pretty badly (in retrospect) and never got help, and don’t want to repeat the experience. He’s open to prescribing something, and if my current plan of yoga, early bedtime, and pacing myself at work better doesn’t help, I’ll call back and ask. But I have some crunchy-mom influence in my life and have always been hesitant to take drugs, esp. while pregnant. If I decide I want to try a medicine, what am I looking at?
Ask your doctor! If your anxiety is so bad you’re bringing it up to your OB, it’s prob bad enough to get some help.
I took Lexapro throughout my first pregnancy and had no issues. Zoloft is apparently the SSRI that has been studied the most in pregnancy, but I was already on Lexapro and my OB was comfortable with my staying on it. She felt that my anxiety was more likely to do harm to the fetus than an SSRI was. She did advise doing some extra monitoring to make sure the heart was forming appropriately (I was told there was a slightly higher- albeit incredibly incredibly low – risk that the heart could have small holes in the heart). Everything turned out fine, and I’m so glad I stayed on it throughout my pregnancy (and afterward) to help me manage my anxiety. Zero regrets.
Irish Midori says
Thanks, that’s really helpful. I’ve never taken any kind of anti-depressant or anti-anxiety, so the idea itself makes me a little anxious (ha!), especially starting while pregnant. Neonatal abstinence syndrome is a HUGE problem in my area–about 1/5 of my hospital’s babies are born with it b/c we are near the opioid abuse epicenter. So when I read that it’s a possible side effect of SSRIs, there’s a little stigma there I have to fight. But your experience, and your words, Anon at 11:24, are encouraging on the “get help” front. I have a great doctor who takes this stuff seriously, and I am determined not to be a hero if this doesn’t get better. Doc has recommended Tylenol PM to see if a better night’s sleep could be a half-way measure.
Taking prescribed medication while pregnant has nothing whatsoever to do with the opioid crisis. At all. I understand this is your anxiety talking, but step back and consider what you’re saying here.
The benefits may outweigh the risks for OP, but just because medicine is prescribed doesn’t mean it doesn’t contribute to the opioid epidemic. Lots of heroin addicts started out as people with legal prescriptions for Vicodin or Percocet due to a real physical health issue. It’s very dismissive to say this concern is just anxiety talking.
SSRIs are not addictive
Also on Lexapro at 30 weeks pregnant. I talked to 3 reproductive psychiatrists about it (due to a move and then someone going on leave) and none had any concerns; nor have doctors on the pregnancy side. What everyone said is that there are more risks (to both mother and baby) to untreated anxiety and depression than there are to safe SSRIs. I get the mental hurdles but I personally feel very comfortable with my decision. (If you’re in DC or Portland, I can recommend a reproductive psychiatrist.)
Anon for this says
My sister took Celexa pre pregnancy and continued (I believe a slightly lowered dose) through pregnancy and postpartum. Her GP and OB were both comfortable with it.
I started Zoloft at week 20 and now at week 24 I’m like a new person. It was honestly years overdue and I’m finally enjoying my pregnancy instead of feeling totally out of control. So worth it.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, I’ve been taking Zoloft for years, including throughout my whole second pregnancy and now nursing baby #2. My OB, midwife and prescriber were fine with it. they did encourage nursing in the beginning, to help with any withdrawal symptoms, which I did. It think that’s minor and not at all like opiates. My second pregnancy was so much better, anxiety-wise, than my first and in general I feel better so totally worth any (small) risks.
My baby is perfectly healthy so far.
I took Zoloft for my entire 3rd pregnancy. It was prescribed after I had PPD/A with my second. I tried weaning based on the stigma and it was terrible. I am a much healthier person on Zoloft. My 3rd baby is perfect. I ended up getting my dose increased post-partum, and I am glad I stuck with it throughout my pregnancy. Living without anxiety is so freeing!
Where could I fly to this weekend out of IAH that’s cheap? Just need a little getaway.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Mexico City, Oaxaca, NOLA, Denver…?
flightscanner dot com is a webs*te whose whole purpose is to answer questions like this. Cheap flights are a really hard thing to crowdsource, because prices vary so wildly.
Fellow Houstonian says
Oh do Mexico City! We did that a couple years ago (I’m in Houston too!) and it was so awesome. Felt far away, super fun city, flight was like an hour and a half.
Really want to go back! And we went in October, which was perfect.
Vent about sleeping ahead. Earmuffs for mamas of babies who are currently sleep deprived and holding out hope that time will solve all problems.
My kids (ages 6 and 2.5) have never been great sleepers, but for the last year or so they’d been sleeping through the night until at least 6 am. Recently, my 6 yr old has been waking up crazy early (between 4:30/5) and although she mostly stays in her room, she’s not always super quiet. The 2.5 yr old has also been waking up early, around 6 or so, when he seems to need to sleep until 6:45/7.
The early wakeups are really taking a toll on me. But last night might have broken me. Toddler woke up and needed soothing around midnight. I finally got back to sleep and 6 yr old appeared in my room around 2 am wanting to sleep with me (husband is in guest room bc he wakes at 4 am to get to work). I let her snuggle but can’t sleep with her, so eventually get her back to her own bed. Finally get back to sleep. I wake up when husband leaves the house at 4:30. Finally get back to sleep. Toddler awake at 5:45 in a godawful mood. Six year old, whose birthday is today, appears at 6:05. For the next two hours until it was time to leave for school, they were alternately crying (wailing, really, about the dumbest crap) and whining, and I feel like I spent the entire morning screaming at them. I am so g*ddamn tired and I feel like such a sh*tty parent. I screamed at my daughter on her birthday! I yelled at a 2 year old! I know it’s a phase and the kids were completely happy at school drop off, but for some reason I can’t shake the terrible morning. I feel like I haven’t had decent sleep in six years. All I want to do is go to bed and sleep for the next week.
Solidarity. Last night between them my kids were up at 9pm, 10.40pm, 11pm, 12.15am-1.30am (the baby wouldn’t settle – I think teething), 4.45am, 6am (4yo up for the day), and 7.15am (baby up for the day). I am somehow still standing but I’m not sure how.
Go for it says
Uggh. It’s a hard season! Been there, done a version of that…. Commiseration for sure. More importantly, discern how to find a way to care for yourself first which will enable you to theoretically have the ease to deal with the season of sleep deprivation.
daylight’s savings time is coming up. If sleep patterns are normal and working they will get all mixed up at this time. Since sleep patterns are all mixed up maybe you can take the opportunity to re-set with DST?
It seems for us whenever we get into a groove it gets thrown off and we have to re-set. Sorry it’s frustrating, I can totally relate.
Thanks so much for the commiseration. I needed it today!
I have 8 nieces and nephews, 6 of whom have birthdays in October/November/December. The kids’ ages range from 2-7. Given the number of kids involved, I usually try to buy similarly-themed gifts to simplify shopping for me and keep it fair and even across the board. Budget is $25 per kid. And I’m kind of running out of ideas — what do you think of these?
1) Hardcover book geared to each kid’s interests, plus some other book-themed gift?? I’ve already found great books for each kid that I’d like to give, if I can find a supplemental gift.
2) A board game — any favorites for the preschool and early elementary crowd?
3) Fun pajamas and slippers — probably not realistic for the budget.
4) Nice fleece hoodie from someplace like Primary, in each kid’s favorite color, plus a Beanie Boo or other small toy.
My siblings all have homes with not much storage space, so I’m trying to go with a blend of practical + fun + doesn’t take up a ton of space.
Just do books. Always and forever. Books are a wonderful joyful useful compact gift!
Yup, just books is totally fine. I also have lots of nieces and nephews and my rule is “enough books to equal $20” for each kid — sometimes this means four board books, sometimes one hardcover.
+2 Books are the only thing I want people to buy for my kids.
Emily S. says
Books are my favorite thing to get. Clothes are very personal and toys can pile up and overwhelm, especially if there’s a birthday party or other family members will be giving gifts. I vote for the books and board games.
Building toys? We love plus plus blocks. Or you do a marble run (with an electronic chain lift for the 7 yo).
a big hit gift last christmas for my 5 and 7 yr old nieces was towels with their names embroidered on them from pottery barn kids. I think I got matching wash cloths. You could also do embroidered bathrobes. the kids loved them and so did the parents.
sorry i missed the $25 goal.
I always prefer books.
For the older kid… maybe a small gift card with the book? My child’s favorite birthday gift this year was a Target gift card bc we had refused to buy more legos. The set he was able to purchase was not as nice as his other sets or the toys he received for his birthday. But he purchased the set
There are some around the $25 mark on Etsy. I like this idea better than books, my house has limited storage space and is constantly overrun with kids books. Worst-case scenario, I throw out an older rattier towel to make room for the cute new one for the kid.
I love the idea of pjs or hoodies or robes that ElisaR mentioned. I buy so many of my kids’ clothes from thrift or consignment stores that well made, high quality new clothes are always welcome. Especially if they are practical and machine washable. I love books, but they tend to pile up so now we only get books from the library because I know they can go back. Also for me, clothes, can be passed along without guilt when they are outgrown in a way that I can’t with books.
Books. Or even just one book per kid plus the balance to the 529!
Art supplies. I would include playdo in this as well but know your audience.
If they are local to you – a short outing with Best Aunt? Lunch, or ice cream, or whatever? Going out without mom and dad (let alone siblings) is terribly exciting to little kids but again, know your audience.
We’re a board game loving family, our favorites recently are Outfoxed, Sneaky Snacky Squirrel, Hoot Owl Hoot and Guess Who. We also gave There’s a Yeti in my Spaghetti to every 5th birthday we went to last year, and it was really well received.
Subscription to a magazine in the Cricket family.
Little kids love pjs and bathrobes.
They also love bath stuff (and then the parents can throw out the old bath stuff)
Books are always appropriate
Slightly older ones enjoy stuff like dollar store money.
A bucket of stuff in my opinion is always well received (little kids love buckets). We usually do a big dollar store bucket full of higher end bath stuff (toys, bubble bath, foam, crayons, books) and kids love iT.
All of those ideas sound great! Also second the idea for magazine subscriptions. My mom got my son a ranger rick subscription for his birthday last year and he LOVES getting them in the mail and reading them. National Geographic kids and/or little kids is also a good option. These might be great supplemental gifts because you only need 1 per household.
i would wait for hanna andersson to have a PJ sale and get them all matching PJs
On day 10 of solo parenting my 15 month old twins while DH is away for work. Last night one threw up at bedtime and then i was up half the night throwing up….is it Friday yet?
So Anon says
Oh no!!! I’m so sorry!
Once when I was solo parenting, my then 2 year old started crying at night. She was asleep next to me for some reason (maybe she was feverish already), and I picked her up and held her above my head. It was at that moment that she puked – on my face (with my mouth and eyes open), in my hair, on my pillow, you name it. We took a shower at 2 am, and I just remember her and I standing in the shower, both crying and her saying “Is dark. Why? Why shower mama?”
Ouffffff how many more days to go?
He comes home Friday! I cannot wait
Almost there!!! You are a warrior.
Patty Mayonnaise says
We’re doing family photos in a couple weeks and just wondering if anyone has suggestions on what I should wear. I’ve heard that long dresses are really flattering, but struggling to find one that looks appropriate for fall. Thanks so much!!
That seems like odd advice – long dresses don’t photograph well on me on most other people I know. Is it cool-ish where you are? My go-to is boots, skinny jeans and an interesting solid color blouse or sweater, but that might look a little weird if you’re in the South and it’s 95.
Old Navy actually has a button for ‘family matching’ now which shows different co-ordinated options buttons. Even if you don’t buy from there, it might give you some inspiration on what can work together.
I’ll give you what I’m wearing because I just had to figure this out: I’m wearing skinny jeans, low boots, and a burgundy tunic sweater from old navy. I’m 8 weeks post partum FWIW. DH is wearing jeans/flannel, DD (2.5) is wearing a denim shirt dress, still need to get her shoes. Baby is probably wearing a navy blue sweater or something. But yeh I love old navy’s idea of family matching and wonder how many Christmas cards this year will feature families who had no time to shop and just bought everything! Haha
Can you create a color palette board for ideas? Ask your photographer if they will help you. The first year we did professional photos I wore jeans and a sweater with boots. YMMV but I looked juvenile and chubby. Since then I’ve opted for full length dresses in my photos (I’m 5’3″). I normally go to Forever 21 and pick something out of the clearance section because TBH I will probably only wear that dress once since my entire family and friend group will see it on our Christmas cards. This year, I browsed on my phone and ordered a dress from some no-name retailer from China. Not the greenest option, but I’m obsessed with the dress. Will probably put DH in a blue blazer and khakis. Kiddo will be in a light blue HM blazer, white oxford and I’m not sure what pants yet. TL;DR Pick your outfit first, then coordinate everyone else to you. Hope this helps.
I’ve decided to aim for capsule wardrobe: Home edition. The towel/sheets laundry piles up because we have so much of it, it becomes easy to let multiple sets of sheets pile up before washing, and it all just takes so much room.
So far, I’ve winnowed down to each bed having only 2 sets of bedding. (Meaning sheets, pillow cases, and a white blanket. each still has a comforter or quilt and shams, but those get washed less frequently). I also switched out all of the bath mats to the same color, so they’re largely interchangeable. I’m slowly transitioning all of the towels to white towels as well so they match all the bathrooms. There is no longer a difference between the “nice” towels and our regular towels. If these wear out, I’ll replace them, but I do not have room in my home to accommodate towels that only get used sometimes.
Anyway, so far it has been freeing and I do not miss all of the extra bedding etc, so wanted to share!
Ha–what exactly are “nice” towels? It was a huge battle for me just to convince my husband that we needed an extra set of sheets for each bed and an extra set of towels for each person. He thought it was a waste of money and that it would be fine to wait for dirty sheets to come out of the wash in the middle of the night.
We’re super minimal on bedding – each bed has a fitted sheet and a pillow with pillowcase and a duvet with duvet cover. No flat sheet or extra pillows with shams. They get washed weekly. Dust mite covers on duvet, mattress and pillow get washed every second month.
Love the idea of same towels for all bathrooms. Did you pick white because it’s bleachable?
I transitioned all of the hand towels to white a while ago and liked that they matched all of our bathrooms, that they were bleachable, and that I had an idea of when it was time to replace them. I think clean white towels always look nice, and I knew if I went with a color I’d spend way too much time finding the perfect gray or whatever, and they’d be more difficult to replace one at a time down the road.
For our kids bathroom we kept all of our respective pre-marriage towels that were shades of cream and white (the rest got donated). For the master for our wedding we registered for sets of white and navy bath sheets, bath towels, hand towels and wash cloth sets. I like the navy ones for that time of the month (and feel like they look better longer) and the white ones because I theoretically could bleach them (although I’m pretty sure the tags say do not bleach). The advantage for me to having all one color (or two sets of all one color) is that I can wash all the white and beige towels together and then all the navy towels together, vs. different colors for every person or bathroom (or our mismatched pre-marriage towels) made sorting laundry a little more complicated. We have multiple sets of sheets for our king bed because they are DH’s pre-marriage sheets and he is oddly attached to them, but we realistically only use 2 sets for summer and 2 sets of flannels for winter (most of which were acquired when we were dating or post-marriage – I can’t stand his sheets and I make the bed so I get to choose). Other than the toddler bed, all other beds are queens and I have 3 sets of queen white sheets for the 2 beds that get rotated. I just bought an extra duvet cover for the master and it’s been amazing, because I end up washing it pretty frequently (kids often sleep with us and bleh) and it takes forever to dry, so now I can just swap and wash at my convenience.
So my kid has worn shoes today for two hours and this is a huge victory for us (special needs family) and this has not happened since the kid was like two.
So I’m just feeling very grateful right now. Pray that we make it another five hours. <3
Yay! Way to go kiddo!
Whoohoo! Virtual high five for your little one!
I started with four ounce bottles at that age, but with my first, he quickly wanted more. My second seems content enough with the four ounce bottles for now. I more so wanted to weigh in because lots of the other responders seem to have far more productive workers than mine are — at least as far as the pump is concerned. It takes me four pumps a day to make about 16oz. So, if you aren’t producing as much as these ladies are with a pump, you are definitely not out of the norm!!
+1. I think I’m more on the average side for milk supply and capacity – I also did 4×4 bottles initially, went to 3×5, and it would take me 3 pumps a day to make that. At some point I got fed up and did 2 pumps per workday, from which I would get about 10-12oz total, and supplemented with formula.
I need some under arm protectors for dresses. Does anyone have a recommendation that they’ve actually used and had success with? Thanks!
Definitely just forgot to lock the door to our pumping (“wellness”) room for the first time ever… and got walked in on by a guy taking a phone call. Oops.
I’ve decided he gets to be the one feeling awkward. My bad though!
Uh, for sure. He’s the one trying to use the wellness room for a phone call.