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Kids have a lot of stuff, and that stuff needs to go somewhere. Enter fabric storage cubes.
You can buy these lots of places, but I really like the ones from Target — they come in a rainbow of colors and patterns to match any decor, fold flat, and have cutout handles that make them easy to pull in and out of their coordinating cubbies.
We use them to hold diapering supplies for our son and toys/books/games for our oldest. These cubes also make it easy for the kids to help clean up — we have several cubes in different patterns/colors and they know what item goes into which cube.
The bin is $10. Target conveniently has a whole page dedicated to storage cubes and cubbies if you’re looking for ideas and inspiration.
Sales of note for 3.28.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything plus extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off 2+ items; 40% off 1
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- Lands’ End – 10% off your order
- Loft – 50% off everything
- Nordstrom: Give $150 in gift cards, earn a $25 promo card (ends 3/31)
- Talbots – 40% off 1 item; 25% off everything else
- Zappos – 37,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off entire site
- Hanna Andersson – 30% off all swim; up to 30% off HannaJams
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; 50% off select swim; 50% off kids’ styles
- Old Navy – 50% off Easter deals
- Target – 20% off Easter styles for all; up to 30% off kitchen & dining; BOGO 50% off shoes & slippers for the family;
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon says
Tips for being strong through tough times? This last year has been very very hard for my family – on top of COVID, we lost two beloved relatives, we had a baby, DH has had 5 colorectal surgeries, our oldest is a very challenging 3 year old, and we both have very intense jobs that have been busier than ever. With the vaccine and a proposed surgery plan for DH, I really thought we could see the light at the end of the tunnel, but DH’s latest surgery was unsuccessful so that plan is out the window. DH’s colorectal issues have required daily wound packing and dressing changes by me for over a year, and since the surgery was unsuccessful, this will continue for many months and potentially years. This has impacted our quality of life (including no gardening since our youngest was conceived), and each surgery means that I take on more of the load so that he can recover. To be clear, I don’t begrudge him this, but I’m just so tired and scared of the potential long term impacts on our quality of life and ability to do things together that we both enjoy (garden, travel, exercise, etc.). I can’t talk to DH about this, and I need help digging deep to help carry us through this.
Lily says
I’m so sorry, that sounds so hard. You say you both have intense jobs – apologies if my assumption that you make good money is incorrect, but why not hire some help? Can a nurse come in each day to do the wound maintenance? You’re taking care of two young children and working a full-time job. There is no way you can also be a part-time nurse.
Kristina says
You don’t even need a nurse to do wound care, you can train anyone you want to do it if you go with a private caregiver.
OP says
Thanks. The wound maintenance takes less than 15 minutes every day, so it isn’t a huge time commitment, but it’s one more thing on my to-do list. We toyed with the idea of hiring someone to do it while I was recovering from childbirth, but ultimately decided against it.
IHeartBacon says
The amount of time it takes to do the wound maintenance on a daily basis is not important. You should hire someone to take being your husband’s nurse off your long list of duties. You don’t mention in your original post that dressing his wounds has affected the way you see him as a man/your husband, but it’s probably happening without you even realizing it. What time is the wound dressing? If it’s in the evening, I would hire someone to come during the evening to dress the wound and stick around to help with the bedtime routine with the kids. If your husband is recovering from his latest surgery, I’m sure you could use the extra hands at that time.
IHeartBacon says
Also, I’m so sorry about your losses this past year. It sounds like 2020 really kicked you guys in the nuts.
Anon says
Oh my goodness that sounds so hard. I agree with hiring help if you can. Are there support groups for his condition you could join? Or for caregivers generally?
anon says
I don’t know what you’re using for child care, but maybe find some extra help? The au pair program is just opening up again after being shut down by Trump for the past 9 months. I could see having an extra set of hands around while your DH is out of commission being very useful. Someone to take your 3 yo to the bathroom while you finish dinner or to help get kids dressed in the morning while you care for DH. It’s impossible to do it all.
Anon says
hugs. this is A LOT. you are literally living the “in sickness and in health.” very sorry for the loss of your family members and congrats on the baby! If you are not already in therapy, you should find a good therapist. Yes, it probably seems like you have no time to fit it in, but having that hour on a weekly or biweekly basis will help. You need a space to let it all out. You don’t mention your finances, but is there anything you can outsource? Or hire a mother’s helper for an extra set of hands. Any family members who can come and help you. Yes, this might be longer term, but this is the season to call on your village. If I had a friend in this situation I would happily set up a meal train for them, including non local friends and family who can send uber eats. Any vaccinated family members who could stay with your kids overnight so you could even go to a local hotel to recharge for a night. Also just sending so many hugs. Having a baby and three year old is hard without a pandemic and sick DH.
OP says
Thanks. We already outsource biweekly housekeeping and grocery shopping, and we have a sitter come for a few hours every weekend, but perhaps we need even more than that.
anne-on says
If you can manage it, I would 100% add in afternoon support 2 days a week. We had a mothers helper T/Th/S from 3-6 when my son was little and OMG just being able to have her run/fold/put away laundry, supervise dinner, do bathtime, or even just play with him so I could do errands myself was SO MAGICAL.
anon says
You have been through the wringer. I am so sorry you’re dealing with all of this. I second and third suggestions for therapy. It won’t change the situation, but it will give you a safe place to talk about your fears and frustrations. Is there anything you can outsource (cleaning, grocery shopping)? Would it be worth looking into some home health options for wound care? If you can swing it and you feel comfortable with Covid, I would hire a babysitter for a couple hours every weekend so you can get some respite — either to rest or to simply do something YOU enjoy.
Anonymous says
Several thoughts:
You need to talk to your husband about this! You are a team and you cannot sustain this trying to do everything for him without speaking honestly.
Therapy. Make the time. Self-care gets talked about like bath bombs and hot tea but to me what it actually means is that you must prioritize your own mental and physical health. You can and need to find the time.
Help. You need more help. Maybe that looks like him taking leave to recover. Maybe you need a visiting nurse to do the wound care. Maybe you need a weekly housekeeper. Maybe you need more childcare. Whatever you can do to get more help, do it.
Anon says
Oh Anon, I’m so so so sorry. I have been the one with three colorectal surgeries this year (including one while pregnant) and I just feel for you and your DH so much. I wish I could give you a hug. I think you need to act a bit like your house is on fire. I am a generally very happy person and I contemplated suicide a decent amount after my colorectal surgeries. It may seem pointless to your DH while he struggles through this, but I’d recommend trying for a new doc and a second or third opinion. It was worth it for me.
I think it is time to gather ALL (I mean ALL!!!!!) the help, virtual and physical, that you can. Start weekly virtual therapy appointments for you and DH. (I had some very dark moments with the pain from surgery and just want to say that I’m sure your DH is not in a good mental place.) I would suggest you get DH (and yourself) on psych meds as soon as possible. It is hard for someone from the outside to understand but colorectal surgeries impact your body and mind in so many difficult ways and I just think it is more than anyone should have to cope with.
Here is what worked (more or less!) for us:
-having live-in help in the form of my mom and then MIL and then my mom again. They would cook and clean for us so I could rest my body and DH could try to manage his job. Also, just having my mom there helped me when I thought I couldn’t go on.
-sending my oldest to a drop-off program a few times a week for some additional hours of childcare
-getting a regular weekend babysitter for some planned relief
-prioritizing sleep above literally all else
Yes, these all mean adding people to your bubble during COVID, but let me say again, your house is on fire and you need to act like that. I hope you and DH have both taken all the leave from work that you can as well. It is too much to do all this and work as well. I do think your quality of life will get better eventually but my from experience, it will be slow. Recovery from these surgeries is something I would not wish on literally anyone. Hope is a fragile thing sometimes, but a new doc could help give you some. I’m still pregnant but recovered from the surgeries. I live my life differently now though. I track my fiber and water like my life depends on it, I take different meds, I don’t eat dairy, etc. All a small price to pay though. I look forward to things again now! You will too but it will probably be hell for a while and I’m so sorry for that. Please don’t do try to do this alone.
Anon says
I also want to recommend acupuncture for your DH! My therapist actually suggested it to me and my colorectal surgeon said she had heard from many patients who benefitted from it. I think it was helpful for me. I also did weekly massages for a while to help with stress management and recovery.
Anon for this says
Big big hugs. DH has moderate to severe ulcerative colitis, so I can sympathize with some of this. Surgery has not been decided on as a definite for us, but it’s likely. I would second looking into support groups or accompanying DH to appointments to discuss with his doctors and nurses what you guys can do to make life easier. Something that also helps my husband is to sign up for clinical trials for his condition, so he feels like he is getting cutting edge treatment and he’s ‘doing something’ about it. Things like travel are tough. I do whatever I can to be supportive, and make sure he is in control if he can be (like he prefers to drive, so he can pull over at a moment’s notice if necessary).
You definitely should seek out a therapist if you don’t have one. It’s a lot to take all of this mental load on yourself. DH’s condition is stable (meaning hasn’t gotten worse, but hasn’t really improved) for years but my ability to hand it has really improved. Part of that has been working with a therapist. You’re right, it feels like you can’t talk to him about it, so you need someone to talk to! And eventually, you will need to have conversations together, and give him space as well to feel all the grief you are feeling about the future.
So Anon says
I agree with the others that you need support and help. For support, if you are not already, find a therapist. Many/most (depending on where you live) therapists are doing remote, which cuts down on the need to commute.
For help: if you have the means to hire help, do it. Childcare would be top of list. Whatever childcare help you have, increase it. Then help with any household tasks. If you have a friend (who does not need to be geographically close), ask that person to find a place that will pick up your laundry and deliver it cleaned and folded. Or ask a friend to pick up your laundry and take it to a place that will do it, and bring it back to you. Ask friends to set up a meal train for you.
It sounds like you could also use respite care for your DH. Call your insurance to see if they will cover all or part of the cost for care. Call your employer’s EAP line to see what they can do to help – whether that is respite care, a RN who comes to your house to help, helping you with navigating potential time off from work, etc.
Hugs. This is not easy.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Just want to lend my additional hugs to you, OP. Any one of these situations is a lot and combined, it’s too much and you need to ensure your own physical and mental health stay intact. Agree that you need therapy (likely for both of you), more childcare and household help, as well as a caregiver for your husband if possible. This is a crisis and the reason you work hard at your jobs is so that you can afford help in these situations. Tap into your emergency fund if necessary.
No Face says
[This may double post. Apologies!]
The first step of being strong through tough times is recognizing the limits on your own strength. DO NOT TRY TO JUST DIG DEEPER. I have the same impulse (“just power through…”). All that happens is that I am more exhausted and weak than ever. It is not good for me or anyone else.
1. Get help – paid or unpaid. Figure out what stresses you the most and get help for that. There are nonprofits and agencies that provide respite care at low or no cost, so look into them. Pay someone once a week to clean your house. Hire a babysitter than comes every saturday, or ask a friend if you can’t afford a babysitter. I have absolutely watched my friends’ and relatives’ kids for free. I have also paid a teen in the neighbor to play with my kids while I was there. If you can’t afford a babysitter and don’t have a local “village” to help, look into nonprofits like Safe Families for Children.
2. Re-evaluate lifestyle – You and DH chose very intense jobs. That may have been a good choice in another chapter of your life, but that chapter has ended. Time for DH or you or both to take FMLA, go part-time, an extended leave of absense, find a less intense job, or something. Time to put your oxygen mask on; your team/company/firm will survive. Careers are long and you may have great success without taking the path that you originally planned. (For a law example, I know a woman who left a demanding job to work for the courts for 15 years when her kids were growing up. Her court experience made her highly valuable to a large firm, and she made partner at that firm in her 50s, making biglaw money while her kids are in college.)
3. Open up to your friends. I recently had a zoom call with a friend. She cried for 90% of it. I’m glad I could listen.
Anonanonanon says
God I am so, so sorry. This is… a lot.
I have moderate to severe UC and have, thank goodness, not had to have surgery, but I know that even without that it can be a lot. I had to take a “lean out” job for a while when mine got bad and it was the best decision for our family. Is that something you all can discuss for your husband? There is just too much happening for you right now. It is very unfair when you have to give up things you’ve worked hard for because you’re sick, but sometimes it has to happen. I know the flip side is you may lose some of the income you rely on for outsourcing.
Also, I know he feels crummy, but y’all need to talk about rebalancing the load. There are less-physical things he can do that are still helpful. Arranging and scheduling dental visits, checkups, repairmen, etc. can be done from bed. See if there is some way he can access your work calendar so he can schedule those things. Have him do the online grocery order. He can monitor levels of paper towels, TP, laundry detergent, etc. in the home, which is something that can be done weekly when he feels up to it but is still helpful. There are things he can still do that will help remove some of your mental load.
Are you open to getting a teenage helper every evening after work? Someone to be an extra set of hands, just to do things like cooking the chicken nuggets, clean up the kitchen while the kids eat, clean up the kids’ dishes, load/start the dishwasher while you put the kids in the bath (or, put the kids in the bath while you do the dishes so you can have a break from them if you want), lay out PJs for the kids and straighten up their rooms while you bathe them, etc. That way, once kids are in bed, you can just… sit and veg a couple of nights a week? I haven’t had anyone we’ve hired over the past year push back about wearing a mask.
Also, maybe you need more than therapy? Don’t be afraid to take meds if suggested. I’ve needed them to get through some humps in life before and I’m glad I had them.
OP says
Thanks, everyone, for the kind words and suggestions. We already outsource biweekly cleaning and grocery shopping, and we have a sitter for a few hours every weekend, but it may be time to throw some more money at the problem.
Anonono says
I have truly the best mother in law (they exist and are wonderful!) and need some advice! My mil came in this month to help with our two month old, and she’s staying about a month and will probably return about a month later as well. She is the first person who has come to help and it’s been amazing. She’s been cooking, doing some cleaning, giving our baby extra love and cuddles and refuses to let me wash dishes unless I sneak in when she’s in the other room. I’ve told her how much I appreciate everything and thank her obviously. I’ve also tried to clear as much space as possible so she can unpack and feel at home, and the baby and I are getting her an Easter present. She also has as much time with her granddaughter and (her favorite) son as she wants. But is there anything more I should or can do? Should I try to cook a few meals here or there? One thing to note is there is somewhat of a language barrier.
Anon says
Nope, I don’t think there’s anything to do beyond thanking her and telling you appreciate the help.
Anon says
um, the point of her being there is not for you to serve her dinner. I think what you are already doing is perfect. You could give her an extra nice Mother’s Day gift but it sounds like she is genuinely happy to be there helping, and not all daughters in law are willing to accept help from MIL after having a baby. It sounds like she already knows that she is appreciated and i don’t think her goal of coming is to receive effusive thanks. just enjoy the help!
Anonono says
Ok thank you! My family is not like this so I needed someone to tell me this :)
Redux says
What do you mean that your family isn’t like this? As in, they would expect effusive thanks? My family is big on big shows of affection, so I hear that!
Anonono says
Yes either wouldn’t offer the help to begin with or would expect huge thanks! Our families have different strengths :)
anon says
What about getting her a digital picture frame filled with pictures of the baby and her with the baby to take with her when she departs? If she doesn’t do digital, she may also appreciate a photobook to show friends back home.
Anon says
As a mother of three boys, this post makes me so happy. I agree you don’t need to do anything, but maybe a heartfelt note and a little splurge on something she enjoys (chocolate? Pastries from a local shop?) would be nice.
Cb says
Oh that is lovely! I’m jealous. I think a photobook might be really nice. Or what about photos with everyone, and get a photographer to take a really gorgeous shot with her and the baby.
Anonymous says
Please stop inventing a problem where none exists! Everything is wonderful. Let it be.
Anonono says
Not inventing a problem, just want to show my love :)
Anon says
You don’t need to do anything else. She’s happy to be there and happy to be useful. My mom (and dad) came and stayed with us for 6 weeks after our daughter was born, and my mom sounds exactly like your MIL. Did everything, and was so, so happy that she was able to be here and to help out.
We gave them some framed snapshots to take home with them, which they loved, and ordered fun takeout a few nights as a cooking respite and something different. We also thanked them effusively.
Anonono says
Ok perfect! So so different from my own family and I just feel so loved and want her to feel that too. Glad to know she likely does! Fun takeout is a great idea — she lives in a state with very different food options so could be fun for all of us to try new things as a family.
Anonymous says
Make sure to take pictures of her with the kids and share them!
AwayEmily says
I have a similarly awesome MIL and what she seems to appreciate most is me taking time to genuinely connect with her. During her post-baby visits we would sometimes just sit on the couch and have a glass of wine together after the baby was in bed and I’d ask her about her own experiences raising kids, compliment her on raising a son who was such an amazing dad, and tell her not just how much I appreciated her help, but also how much I liked HER as a person, parent, and grandparent. I think slipping a heartfelt note that says this into her bag before she leaves, maybe along with a photo of her and the baby, would also be nice.
Anonono says
This is my instinct and the encouragement I need to be courageous enough to just try speaking in her language! I could easily ask her a few questions about herself and her children, I have just been nervous to speak.
Anon says
Yes great advice – could also ask her to teach you some songs she sang to kids so you can keep sharing them when she isn’t around every day
Lise says
I have a mom like this, and while she also doesn’t want effusive thanks (because she really loves spending the time with us and helping and doesn’t see it as doing us a favor), the gifts she appreciates most are either printed nice pictures of our baby or activities that she can do with him, because time with him is her #1 joy. She happens to love running, so for Chanukah, we got a jogging stroller for her to go on runs with the baby. Maybe a custom book from Wonderbly that she could read with him (or if the language barrier would make that less fun for her, maybe a book in her language?)?
DLC says
+1 on making sure to have photos with grandma and baby and to include her in family photos. My parents really like those magnetic photo sleeves you can put up on the fridge.
Also- looking at the big picture, make sure your family grows up loving and appreciating grandparents and their native culture. My parents, who have similarly given up large amounts of time to help look after my children and come from another country, just want to know that the kids love them and want to talk to them and know something about my parent’s home country. If cultural heritage is important to your MIL, I would maybe ask her to teach you to prepare/ shop for foods from that country, get picture books in her language she can read to the baby, be interested in her life and see if there are any cultural traditions you can incorporate. I think for my mom, she is sometimes sad that her biracial grandchildren don’t have a large connection with the non-mainstream part of their background. I know my parents appreciate it when I give them small presents, but they are mostly happy and really satisfied to be an integral part of our lives. I think since they come from a culture where grandparent involvement is a given, more so than in the US, they don’t see what they are doing as extraordinary.
Anonanonanon says
My mom is this MIL and I promise she does not expect anything in return, she is probably just genuinely happy to help and to know that you trust her with your child and in your home! I would just continue to let her know how much you appreciate it, how nice it is to have someone you trust to help with the baby, etc. If it’s weighing on you, maybe you can send her something when she returns to her home.
Anonymous says
My mom is this MIL too. She truly finds it rewarding to be helpful, to have a close relationship with her grandchild, and to get to know her son-in-law better. Effusive thanks and thank-you gifts are awkward. We have had the best luck with normal expressions of gratitude (thanks for cooking dinner, mom!), treating her to fun outings with the family, making our home a calm respite from her ordinary life, and sending nice but not over-the-top holiday gifts.
Anonymous says
Late in the day but my MIL speaks another language and really appreciates that I added books in her language to the nursery for her to read to the kids. She brought some too but she really likes that I showed that I valued them learning her language.
Anonymous says
What do folks think about the Freemie pump? I’ve never used it but there’s a sale today and I’m tempted to try it out.
NYC Girl says
I tried it and didn’t like the cups at all. To be fair I only gave it 2-3 tries. I just went back to my good ol’ spectra which is nothing fancy but works!
DLC says
I loved mine for:
Pumping while driving
Pumping while getting the other kids ready in the morning
Pumping in meetings.
It was not as efficient as my Spectra (ie 35 mins for a pump rather than 20mins), but it didn’t bother me since I could pump while being otherwise productive. I still used my Spectra as my primary pump, though. And once the pandemic hit, the Freemie got very little use.
Anon says
I loved the cups—so, so much better for me than the traditional horns setup. I loved that I could stay dressed while pumping. It really helped me feel more human/less cow-like, helped me work while I pumped (I had a hard time maneuvering around the horns and bottles), and saved me time from getting undressed.
I used the cups with both the Medela PISA and the Freemie pump and didn’t have a strong preference between the two pumps.
Daycare says
Has anyone had a child start daycare during the pandemic? Any advice? My son will start this summer (at 1 year old). Seems like around here parents are not allowed in the building and we cannot really visit with the baby before leaving him, so we just hand him to a stranger who will take him into an unfamiliar building where he will spend the next X number of hours with strangers? That sounds pretty awful. I’m thinking of asking if one of us can come in with him on the first day if we provide negative COVID test results and quarantine for a period of time first.
Anon says
I would definitely ask about visiting – there are lots of safer ways to visit, including during the school day with precautions, outdoors, or after hours when the classroom is empty except for the teachers. We didn’t start at a new center, but going back to a new classroom and teachers after 6 months away is not that much easier than starting a new school for little kids, and they let the parents and kids come in for individual visits with the teachers the week before school resumed in the fall. The only precaution they had was masks for everyone over 2. A new family started in my DD’s classroom last month, and the parents both got to come into the room with their child on the first day, which is an exception to the no parents in the classroom policy. I would not have been pleased if these parents were in the classroom every day for a month but I think everyone understands that letting people do this once is not high risk and has a lot of benefit for the kid.
anonymommy says
We started a new daycare during COVID, so a switch for my oldest and first time for my youngest. We were only allowed to tour with them after school hours. At 1, my normal recommendation of Daniel Tiger episode and prepping doesn’t really apply much. But, my 10mo old actually transitioned really well — much better than I expected — and I had those same concerns. (The almost 3yo had a way harder time switching). Our school was very strict and didn’t allow us in class the first day, so some other ideas are an extra visit with the new teacher, even if it’s five minutes, outdoors, after class time and taking some photos of the new school and teacher. We printed one pic of our older kid and his teachers and stuck it on the fridge, at about 18 mo when he became really apprehensive about school. We would talk about Ms. So-and-So on the weekends and the night before school nights to help it seem not so scary/unexpected. It did help. Good luck!
Daycare says
I love the idea of an outdoor visit or two a week before (the weather should be nice enough in our area) and a short visit with just the new teacher before or after the time the other kids are there. Thank you!
Anonymous says
Yep, my daughter started daycare about three months ago. We talked extensively with other parents – both people who’d recommended it on NextDoor as well as references the center provided. We did a Zoom orientation and tour (after hours because of privacy rules about kids on camera). We’ve also done a Zoom parent-teacher conference with the lead teacher in her room who’s great about communication in general and always sends lots of photos.
They might be limited in who’s allowed into the center based on what the health department says. In my area, all of the licensed daycares have a health dept. liaison during COVIDtimes.
Pogo says
We were allowed to visit after hours when only the director was in the building. But yes, it definitely did feel like I was handing him over to a stranger that first day. It was hard. I still don’t like that I haven’t met his classmates or teacher beyond a brief visit (again, outside normal hours, and without LO I got to talk to his teacher). But I picked the school based on personal recommendations and the experience of other parents with his particular teacher who has had a long tenure, so I felt OK. Ask for pictures and detailed notes. Call and check in. Text if that is allowed. These were all helpful for me.
New Here says
We did! My daughter started going in January after she turned 1.
We had toured the daycare in summer 2019 (when we were pregnant) so we were familiar with it. Before she started, we were able to schedule a time to visit her room and meet her teacher, so maybe you could do that?
Drop-off/pick-up is the same – we can’t go inside. The first few days she cried, but then it wasn’t a problem. Our teacher sent us updates on an app – cried a lot the first day (normal), by the second – she stopped crying once they made it to the room and she started playing. We’re 3 months in now and she goes into their arms happily each morning.
Atlien says
I had this same question a couple of months ago and the transition for my 1 year old was honestly fine–much ado about nothing! And she generally is so clingy to me, so I was nervous. We were able to tour the rooms on a weekend and kid was with us so whether she had any memory of that, I can’t say.
They just do a simple hand-off at the door. On day 1 they can have the teacher come out and do it so you can meet, but most days the director mans the door and takes the kids back to the classrooms. Anyway on our first day they whisked her in pretty quickly to avoid any sort of prolonged goodbye/tears which was a little bit of a shock to me but probably for the best. Now she leans into them, arms wide open at the door! She really loves having peers to look at now.
Cb says
My toddler rejected his “speedy” yellow shoes today because “I am a sloooowwww cat today”. Same, kiddo, same.
TheElms says
I definitely work up thinking it was Friday. It should really be Friday.
So Anon says
Agreed.
GCA says
Saaaaame. I would wish it was Friday except that I have a mountain of work to get through before the end of the week!
Toddler is going through those brain development fireworks that result in her getting up at 2am to be loud and happy for nearly 2 hours. (Loud and happy, that is, until you put her back in bed – then she is loud and unhappy.)
anonymommy says
This is so cute! Have you read the Pete the Cat I Love my White Shoes yet?! Based on this comment, you probably have. But if not, look up the book and song. So catchy and makes the shoe-putting-on struggle a little easier sometimes.
Cb says
No, we haven’t! I’ll have to look that up.
Katala says
+1 the song, love it.
AnonATL says
Your toddler sounds like such a delight. I spent most of yesterday thinking it was Thursday. This week is just dragging.
FVNC says
Yesterday, I repeatedly referred to “our meeting tomorrow”. The person finally had to say, “Oh, I have that meeting scheduled for Friday.” Apparently I also had decided yesterday was Thursday. What is it with this never-ending week?
Pogo says
I don’t know, but I am DONE. I am thinking of taking tomorrow off in fact, even though I’m feeling a lot better and I napped most of yesterday and the day before. I just can’t.
Anon Lawyer says
This has been happening to me since literally Monday this week. Our garbage pick-up is on Friday and every night I’ve thought “oh, we need to get the bins out to the curb. Wait, are you telling me it’s NOT Thursday?” Today I am 100% convinced it’s Friday no matter how many times I correct myself.
Anonymous says
During a global pandemic, every day is Blursday.
IHeartBacon says
I love this.
So Anon says
ISO Sock Recommendations – I am done matching kid socks. I want to order like 14 pairs of socks for each of my kids that are the same color and style per kid. (10year old and 7 year old) Any recommendations? Bonus if they don’t have weird, uncomfortable or “itchy” seams.
CHL says
It is kind of ridiculous but my 8 year old LOVES his Bombas socks and he is picky.
AwayEmily says
I like the Bombas and they are amazing quality but they are THICK. Uncomfortably so for one of my kids.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Primary? One nice thing they have is different toe colors in the socks for different sizes, you can easily separate your kids’ socks when they come out of the wash. I haven’t heard any seam complaints from my kids on these.
Anonymous says
Note that the sizes are confusing for primary. I ordered what I thought was my toddler’s size and they fit my 6 year old. Ordered what I thought was my 6 year old’s size (kids 1) and they fit me (ladies 11). I kept them because they are nice seamless socks and I like stripes, but read carefully!!
I did have success buying 10 pairs of white cotton ankle socks from target for 6 year old, though! Make sure you are searching for cotton, which is surprisingly hard to find. Next time I’d choose ones that come up slightly higher to avoid blisters from the ankles of sneakers.
AwayEmily says
glad to know I am not the only one who ordered enormous socks from primary by accident.
So Anon says
I was just wondering about this! I looked at the sizing and wondered why there were no socks that would fit my 10 yr old. I’m thinking that the medium will fit my 7 year old and large will fit my 10 year old.
Anonymous says
Hanes socks (white) have “hanes” in different colors on the toe (red, green, etc) depending on size. I buy 3 of the 6-packs of socks and that’s the only socks my kids have, because I am with you.
TheElms says
Are these true to the size chart? My kid wears an 8 in toddler shoes. It looks like I could get a 2T-3T and grow out of them super quick of get a 4T-5T and they’d last a while?
Anonymous says
Not poster above but my size 9.5/10 two year old has outgrown the 4T/5T Hanes.
TheElms says
Thanks super helpful!
Anonymous says
This seems like a job for something basic, like Hanes or Fruit of the Loom grey (or white or black) tube socks.
Anonymous says
Old Navy. They run small so size up.
AwayEmily says
Agree. We’ve tried Hanes (run way too small, too thick, and slide down), Bombas (too thick), Gap (don’t stay put, weird toe seam), and have landed on Old Navy. They’re cheap, they stay up, and they don’t have a big toe seam. They are fairly thin, though, so make sure you’re okay with that. Also it is REALLY hard to distinguish the sizes (it’s written on the grippers on the bottom in the same color as the sock) so make sure if you have kids that are different sizes you also get them different colors.
anon says
I like the All in Motion brand socks from Target. They’re cheap, easy to match, and my pickier kid finds them comfortable.
Anon says
Toddler and tate low cut socks from Nordstrom are the only socks DD likes. They do have seams but she seems fine with them (not like others).
Anon says
My 2 year-old tears off her fingernails. She always has raw and bloody fingertips because she tears them off too short. I don’t know how to make her stop – she complains when they hurt and asks for bandaids, but will take the bandaid off shortly thereafter (hard to keep bandaids on toddler fingertips).
I try to keep her nails clipped short so there is nothing to grab, and if I notice her doing it I’ll offer a fidget toy or something else to do with her hands, which seems to help temporarily, but she doesn’t even seem to realize she’s doing it until she’s ripped one far into the nail bed and it’s bleeding.
I don’t bite or tear my nails so I don’t have any personal understanding of this habit, but I know there are lots of people who do… any advice, wise moms?
Anon says
no advice but i would also talk to your pediatrician
Anon says
Welp, my city and state just lifted our mask mandate. DH and I are vaccinated but still very hesitant to do stuff indoors unless everyone is in masks and I feel like we’ll have to pull back on some things we were already comfortable doing, like taking kiddo to the grocery store and library. Just feeling so sad and frustrated. I thought vaccines were the light at the end of the tunnel, but now that no one will be in masks it kind of feels like we’re back to square one in terms of what we can safely do.
Anonymous says
This is so frustrating. I had hopes for a trip to the family beach house now that my husband and I are both vaccinated, but mask mandates have been lifted in that state and most of the states in between so no vacation for us.
It’s like we’ve run 26 miles and decided to sit down on the pavement .2 miles from the finish line. I don’t get it.
Anon says
How far is the beach house? I went to one last weekend and I never interacted w/ another human except once by choice to pet a puppy on the beach. I’m unvaccinated. My vaccinated family member did the grocery store run. If you are just going to be staying at the beach house / on the beach it shouldn’t be an issue unless the area you go has a crowded beach.
Anon says
+1. I’m very cautious (have not dined at a restaurant, even outdoors, in over a year) but we did a driving trip over the winter to a beach in Florida and despite their lack of a mask mandate I don’t believe it was any less safe than staying home, because we were in a private house with zero contact with anyone outside our household and the beach was deserted. If you don’t have contact with other humans, the lack of a mask mandate doesn’t matter. Even states with mask mandates often have an exception if you’re outdoors, so unless you are planning to do something indoors I don’t even see how a mask mandate is relevant. I guess in an emergency you might need to go indoors to seek medical care, but I believe medical providers everywhere require masks, even in the absence of a state mandate.
No Face says
My state never had a mask mandate. The rural areas were 100% maskless and the outcome was predictable (full ICUs, high death toll). After the full-blown crisis, even people in the rural areas started masking in indoor public spaces without a mandate. Most large chain stores required masks on their own too.
All of this to say, you may be pleasantly surprised by the level of mask wearing without a mandate.
Anon says
i live in TX so feel the same way. while many places in our city are still requiring masks, it still makes me nervous to be around people. and everything is at 100% capacity. i just got my first vaccine today (hooray), but even outdoor dining here is as packed as going to a bar. I also feel like it’s one step forward, two steps back. wish we’d had a different president when this whole thing started bc maybe then wearing a small piece of fabric across your face wouldn’t be so controversial
Jeffiner says
My state pulled its mask mandate a couple weeks ago. I felt just like you, and wanted to pull back on things. Most people in the cities still wear masks, and mask usage in the rural areas was always spotty. A lot of businesses advertise either “we still require masks” or “no masks required.” People on both sides of the issue are migrating to their preferred businesses. We didn’t go out much at all when there was a mask mandate, so I honestly haven’t seen any differences in my daily life. We’re about to hit the 2 week mark since the mandate was lifted, so I’m curious to see if there is a spike in cases.
anon says
I think stores are still allowed to make their own mask policies. I’d push on local businesses to be mask-required or to at least have mask-required portions of their day.
Anon says
Yeah, my hope is that many businesses start to offer mask required hours and no mask hours. I take a ballet class currently and the teacher offers mask required classes and mask optional classes – that seems like a smart and relatively easy way for a business to accommodate everyone’s preferences.
Alas, our local grocery store chain and the public library both already announced no masks. We can still shop at Target at least, but I do think a lot less people will wear masks when the state mandate goes away. Target’s mask requirement pre-dated our state mandate and mask usage was maybe 50% in there, until the state mandate when it jumped to ~90%.
anon says
I wouldn’t be sure that initial announcements are final. For instance, I bet if a group of parents gathered and asked for mask-required times at the library for kids, who can’t be vaccinated yet, you could potentially get it to happen. Public pushback is powerful. Write letters. Organize on Facebook, Nextdoor, etc.
Pogo says
Target and CVS are the only places I really go inside and they’ve both been nationally pro-mask this whole time. I don’t expect that to change.
fallen says
Does anyone have any good resources on research on risk of covid for kids? I know that it is rare for kids to be symptomatic, but I am worried about long covid etc. I would love to hear of a good source of information to make decisions when we are vaccinated but the kids are not.
Anon says
I don’t know of peer-reviewed research, but my pediatrician says long Covid is not a thing in kids and anecdotally I don’t know any kid who had issues related to Covid (other than mild acute symptoms) and I do know of a few adults with long Covid issues. That said, there is a lot of research still emerging about the way the virus can affect the body. It’s been known for a while it can damage healthy hearts and lungs, and there was a paper just released about how monkeys exposed to the virus developed Lewy bodies, which are a big risk factor for Parkinson’s and dementia. This is definitely not the first virus to be linked to organ damage (apparently Parkinson’s disease diagnoses surged a couple decades after the 1918 flu pandemic), but I would still like to avoid my kid getting the virus pre-vaccination if possible. We can’t stay locked down forever, so after vaccination I think we will have to go back to normal, but I’m ok being cautious for another year or so.
As far as this summer goes, we’ll be seeing friends (likely outside) if the adult family members are vaccinated, flying to see long distance loved ones because this is a priority for us and masks are required on planes and in airports, and likely doing anything that can be done outdoors (restaurant dining, swim, soccer, zoo, playground, etc.) Our state just lifted the mask mandate and mask use was poor inside and non-existent outside even when we had a mandate, so I don’t see us doing anything indoors except maybe patronizing businesses that have chosen to leave mask requirements in place (e.g., my hair salon has said they plan to continue enforcing a mask requirement so I’ll probably get haircuts).
Anon says
i just read this article. https://www.cnn.com/2021/03/25/health/parents-covid-vaccine-wen-wellness/index.html
Realist says
I have been trying to keep up with this and have not yet found one good source. So far, I have concluded:
***While some smaller studies are promising, it is not yet confirmed whether vaccinated individuals can transmit the virus. This means that if your child is not vaccinated, you can’t be 100% sure that they are safe spending time with vaccinated adults (such as grandparents). You can mitigate this risk with masks, visiting outdoors, etc. You can also consider the specific risks for your child, as it matters whether your child is in a higher risk category or not. Yes, that means we are still making risk assessments for our families at an individual level. Sigh.
***MIS-C, while very rare, is a potential complication for kids. I would draw a comparison from MIS-C to Long Covid in adults, since both appear to be due to either an immune dysfunction or a persistent infection in immune-privileged tissue (or possibly some other undiscovered mechanism, but those two theories appear to be the frontrunners). We don’t really know much about MIS-C at all, including how long it will impact the children. Some already appear to be recovering well. We also don’t know why MIS-C develops, whether it is due to genetics, environment, the particular viral strain, etc. Given the scant information available about MIS-C, I am most concerned about MIS-C for kids that already have immune system dysfunction or already show excess inflammation responses, though even in these kids MIS-C still appears to be thankfully rare.
-The data on the long-term impact on the virus in kids is not likely to develop anytime soon. We simply don’t know if the virus might, for example, pre-dispose infected children to early-onset dementia 50 years from now or whether heart or organ damage may be an issue, etc. Or whether a covid infection in childhood could increase the chances that a person develops long-some-other-virus as an adult (Long Covid looks an awful lot like ME/CFS, which is often triggered by a viral infection of any number of viruses. So it is plausible that Covid could damage the immune system in a way that makes it easier to develop ME/CFS later on. No one know.).
Only time will tell, basically, which makes it hard to identify a good source to track for this information now. If there is a common issue that arises from childhood Covid infections, I would expect it to be covered pretty well in the usual mainstream news sources. Less common risks will likely only be covered in medical news or specialty journals. Since only time will tell on these long-term risks, it is really hard to make a risk calculation on an individual level.
Possibly, we can look at research on other serious viral infections and how child survivors fare later on (such as long-term studies on childhood survivors of Ebola, SARS, MERS, etc) but research like this is not well funded and good studies will be hard to come by. I’m not aware of any such studies for now, but Covid may spur some to develop. Given that we are seeing some correlations between some of the rarer Covid complications and the complications from those other serious viruses, long term studies on the survivors of those outbreaks might give us an indication of what to expect from Covid and hopefully we can get those studies done at some point. But it still doesn’t help assess risk right now.
Anon says
Too late in the day, but I highly recommend listening to Daniel Griffin’s Saturday updates on TWIV podcast. He talked about children’s covid in the last two or three. TLDR – the risk is small but becoming larger probably due to variants. There have been long covid cases in children. Children are more likely to be infected outside of school rather than in school.
Kiddos says
DH was ranting this morning about something asinine his boss did yesterday. He was actually fairly worked up in the kitchen while DD ate a room away. My not quite three year old felt the need to chime in, “Daddy. Take a deep breath and take a lap.”
Lol wut. Confirmed with nanny – no one has used that phrase around her, not known in any TV shows or books we read to her. It caught us so off-guard that it deescalated DH perfectly. Kids, amiright?
Cb says
Oh my goodness, that’s adorable.
Pogo says
I love when they come up with their own little phrases! Mine started saying, “hmmm, let me think…..” when we ask him a question. I don’t know where he heard it, but it’s adorable.
Anonymous says
If you want a laugh (or something… maybe cry?) go back and read the posts from a year ago this week. One day someone said we’d be locked down for 18 months and we were all like, No way! And now, 18 months would be just about right if my company’s return to work goes according to schedule.
Anon says
I was definitely ridiculed either here or on the main page for saying this situation would last 18 months. Although I will say that in my March 2020 catastrophizing I was definitely imaging no daycare until fall 2021, and it came back a full year earlier than that. Six months without childcare was way too long but I’m grateful it wasn’t three times that long. And the vaccine timeline and effectiveness surpassed the best case scenario, so some things are going right. Still mad at all the anti-mask, anti-vax idiots though. We could be back to normal by June or so if everyone would just wear a mask and get the damn vaccine, but they won’t, so my life will likely be significantly curtailed for at least another year until there’s a vaccine for kids.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I feel like my life resumed some sense of (new) normalcy when daycare reopened, with happened about 3.5 months after it first shut here. If that had stayed shut, I would be in a much darker place now.
Anon says
Yeah. When daycare reopened, I said to DH, “ok, I can live this way forever if I have to – it won’t be the life I thought I would have and I will grieve our old life, but it’s livable and sustainable in a way that the first six months of lockdown were not.” I still don’t know how we survived six months of no daycare. And it wasn’t just us – the months with no daycare were incredibly hard on our kid too.
Realist says
I have been without childcare of any sort whatsoever (unless you count DH’s very unequal contribution of household childcare) for one year, 15 days. Can confirm that this is a dark place. But my child’s health has been fine and that was my #1 priority and I wouldn’t change anything about we did as a family.
YET. I will hold a lifelong vendetta against any white person that didn’t vote for HRC in 2016 because MY GOD the sacrifices and suffering that selfish, mysogynistic, asinine decision imposed on so many families worldwide. Seriously, f*** those people. And if you read this and get angry because you didn’t vote for her, and you still refuse to take personal responsibility for your role in hundreds of thousands and deaths and the great suffering imposed on hundreds of millions of people for over a year now, well, f*** you especially. Politics is personal, people. Life and death. Never has that been more clear than now.
Anon says
I donated to, campaigned for and voted for Hillary and agree that Trump made some very dumb decisions and so far the Biden admin seems to be handling the pandemic much better, but I really doubt life would have gone back to normal any earlier under a Hillary administration. The only countries that contained Covid to the point of having normalcy over the last year are either islands (Australia, NZ) or have authoritarian governments or surveillance that would not be considered ok in the US (China, South Korea). The best comparison to the US as far as containing Covid goes is Europe since they’re geographically and culturally the most similar to us, and while Europe has on balance done a bit better than the US (although the per capita death toll in several European countries is higher), I think that has more to do with a less selfish citizenry that did a better job following social distancing rules. I despise Trump and I think his mismanagement no doubt caused some number of deaths, but it’s not like Covid would have just been NBD under Hillary, especially for someone with a high risk child. So I think it’s a bit dramatic to blame him for the suffering of hundreds of millions. Americans would have been suffering greatly from Covid no matter what.
I also give Trump’s admin, though not him personally, a lot of credit for the vaccines. Europe bet too much on AstraZenaca and is now having a lot of issues with their vaccine rollout because that vaccine isn’t as effective and maybe causes bad side effects. It was a smart decision of people in the Trump admin (again, not the cheeto personally, but people he hired) to purchase from many different suppliers and invest heavily in the mRNA vaccines. Even the European countries that handled the virus the best like Denmark are now having big problems with their vaccine rollouts. We have a lot of friends in Europe and they’re all crazy jealous of Americans right now. And yes, Biden deserves some credit for buying more vaccine and amping up distribution, but I think it’s pretty clear the US would have been a world leader in vaccination even under Trump.
Anon says
I think you’re also really underestimating how deeply half of the country hates Hillary and how politicized every decision she would have made would have been even if she’d won the election. Hillary telling us to wear masks would probably have led to MUCH more anti-mask sentiment than Trump basically ignoring the issue. People are so incredibly s*xist and hate Hillary Clinton in particular and I just don’t think Biden telling people to mask up p1sses angry white men off the way Hillary telling them to would have. Which is obviously not a criticism of Hillary herself, but it would have played a major role in her ability to end the pandemic earlier.
Realist says
I appreciate the two responses above, but they both assume that the pandemic still escaped Wuhan. The Trump admin dissolved the CDC’s office in Beijing just a few months before the pandemic began. The same CDC office that was put in place to deal with exactly a Covid-19 situation to keep it from becoming *waves hands around pointing at everything*. Obama and prior admins anticipated this pandemic and put systems in place that the Trump admin literally destroyed. I can never 100% know for fact what an HRC admin would have faced in comparison, but I know in my heart of all hearts that the deaths and suffering, not just in America but worldwide, would have been orders of magnitude less. The PPE would have been ordered in advance. The situation in Wuhan would have been taken seriously months earlier, with actual awareness of the risks that could play out. Other countries would have been given better plans and leadership before things got so bad in Italy. My mind cannot be changed that Trump voters have an extremely heavy karmic debt owed to every single person on this planet.
Anonymous says
I’m a fundraiser for a performing arts organization in NYC, and I write a lot of grant proposals. So the last year of my work is a very sad history of dashed plans for reopening. I submitted a very big proposal on March 12, 2020, the day Broadway shut down and it felt like the sky was falling. Even then, we really thought we might be back in June. The good news is, fall 2021 seems to be sticking.
Anonanonanon says
Fun reminder that 1. your toilet seat probably comes off very easily to clean and 2. a new one is probably only like $20.
I-for some reason-assumed it would be impossible to get the same model toilet seat we have because I have no idea how old our toilets are. We’ve redone our bathrooms and were advised to keep our toilets because they’re good toilets I guess? The underside of the seats are stained (were before I married my husband and moved in, to be clear!) and I have never been able to fully bleach them. I remove them occasionally to clean under the hinges (they just snap off) and finally looked up the model and of course it’s stupid common and cheap to replace and I can’t believe I didn’t do it sooner and I wish I could have the hours I spent trying to bleach them back.
Anyway, that’s my PSA for the day. Why didn’t I look this up sooner/know this? Ugh.
Anonymous says
Ha, thanks for the reminder. We’ve already replaced ours once, but thanks to my kids using the toilet as a step-stool to brush their teeth (instead of, you know, the actual step-stool that also lives in the bathroom) we are getting bare/discolored spots from the lid bumpers. It’s been bothering me, but I need to just get a new seat already.
Which also reminds me, in the “wtf kid?!” category: Usually the kids actually put the lid down before using the toilet as a step-stool. However, that was too much work for my 5 year old one day recently, and then she accidentally stepped in the toilet bowl and got wet up to her knee.
Anonymous says
Yeah, we end up replacing ours every couple of years – the painted finish gets damaged and no amount of cleaning will fix it. You can now get ones that come off easily for cleaning too, which are great.
Anonymous says
For the staining, if you or anyone in your family has Crohns or Colitis and takes 5-ASA drugs like Pentasa or Asacol, these will stain the underneath of porcelain toilet seats a purplish color. Nothing you do will take it off.
Potty says
Is casually training your kid on the potty a thing? DD is 2.5 and goes when we cue her but doesn’t cue herself. We haven’t pulled the cord on diapers yet (we will soon) and I guess we’ll make a weekend of it, set the timer, and all that stuff, but is that the only way to effectively eliminate the diapers and train her to cue herself?
Anonymous says
Can she recognize when she needs to go? If not, potty training will really amount to training you to recognize when she’s going to wet her pants and rush her to the potty.
Anonymous says
Wait until she’s ready.
Patty Mayonnaise says
We didn’t really “train” – we just had supplies and waited until my son showed an interest to offer them (without pressure). It worked really well for us.
https://www.janetlansbury.com/2014/08/3-reasons-kids-dont-need-toilet-training-and-what-to-do-instead/
Anonymous says
Every kid is different, but my almost 9 year old still benefits from reminders to check. We absolutely did not do a weekend intensive – that whole concept is a relatively new idea. I think it works well for a lot of people but it is not the only way to do it.
Anon says
Yeah, the weekend boot camp thing is new. In the 1980s we were all potty trained more gradually and I agree it works great for some kids.
OP says
Thanks. I’m struggling with it. I have so many friends who make it a Thing and I’m very anti making something a Thing full of pressure like that if we can help it.
SC says
I told my mom about the weekend boot camp, and she cracked up. She legitimately thought it was the most hilarious thing she’d heard yet about new-age parenting techniques.
We tried “boot camp” several times. It didn’t work within a long weekend. The gradual approach also didn’t work–it just became a power struggle because my kid hates being told what to do, even if he’s being told to do a totally reasonable thing like use the bathroom. Eventually (at 3.5 years old), daycare told us we could send Kiddo in without diapers and with a bunch of changes of clothes. It took about a week and a half to potty-train after that.
Anon says
Ahhh this gives me hope that someday my 3 year old will get potty trained. We’ve tried both the boot camp and the gradual approach several times, and she’s apparently just made up her mind that she. will. never. use. the. potty. !! I’m starting to worry she’ll go to kindergarten in diapers because I’ve never known her to do something she doesn’t want to do.