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There’s something about spring that makes me want to incorporate more prints into my mostly dark, solid-colored wardrobe. Boden has some of the best spring-y (and summery) prints.
There are so many great mood-boosting prints to choose from, but I’m eyeing their Evangeline Jersey Wrap Dress in Palm Leaf, Tropical Charm.
I can always add another wrap dress to my closet, and this one checks all my boxes and then some — a soft jersey fabric, lined bodice, side pockets, and machine washability. The pretty tropical print reminds me of beach vacations of summers past and gives me hope for future ones soon.
The dress comes in Palm Leaf (green) or Chartreuse (which looks more yellow). If you’re not into prints, it also comes in Sapling, a pretty spring green. It’s $120 and available in petite, regular, and long; sizes 2 to 20/22.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Pogo says
You ladies will appreciate this – yesterday I presented to two VPs while battling mastitis and actively nursing the baby in attempt to relieve the clog which spurred said infection. Video off (thank goodness – no one put their video on for some reason so I didn’t even have to feel bad!), and he never even made a noise so they didn’t know. I am ever so thankful for modern medicine today – OB called in the antibiotics right away so I had a dose in my system last night before I even went to bed. I had mastitis with my first years ago but somehow forgot how awful it was.
Moral of the story – don’t skip a pump because you’re too busy. You might end up out of commission for an entire day which is even worse!
Boston Legal Eagle says
You rock!! If some of these older men (majority of senior leadership in my co.) knew what we had to deal with… I had mastitis twice, once with each kid, and it was awful. I had clogs repeatedly so I was never sure which would lead to something worse. Rest up!
Pogo says
yes, they were definitely old men lol
anon says
wow, I am impressed! I seem to get mastitis twice with each baby… you’d think I’d learn but nope. Very very impressive that you managed the presentation.
I remember explaining to an (old, male) partner as a junior associate that I really needed to go home right that moment, because I could feel the clog and knew if I didn’t get my actual baby to nurse it was going to be mastitis real soon (pumping on schedule can help prevent clogs for me but only the nursing baby can clear them once they start). 7:00 pm, corner office, spelling it out – “I am going to get an INFECTION in my BREASTS which will make me UNABLE to work tomorrow if I do not get home to nurse my INFANT before she goes to bed in thirty minutes.” He let me go home then and I finished the project in bed on my laptop at 2:00am, nursing the baby all night with one hand and typing with the other. Fuuuuunnnn.
Anonanonanon says
HAHAHAHA the emphasis on certain words gave me such a chuckle
Anonymous says
That is incredible. I got it for the second time a couple weeks ago and on day 1, couldn’t even get out of bed. Speedy healing!
Pogo says
Oh I got out of bed exactly 3 minutes before the presentation. And just barely.
EDAnon says
That’s amazing!
anon says
My 16 month old is a biter, hitter, and hair puller. He’s actually a very sweet and good tempered baby (haha), but seems to delight in physically expressing his emotions. Unfortunately, he often takes this out on his 5 year old sister. I feel awful about this because she is really sweet to him (mostly!), and takes it very hard that he’s hurting her. Other than intervening immediately (which we do already), how do we put a stop to this? Does he just have to grow out of it? He does the same to us, and it also hurts! But for us, it just hurts physically, we understand that he’s not intentionally trying to cause us pain. His sister doesn’t quite get that.
Spirograph says
He’ll grow out of it. Explain (repeatedly) to the 5 year old that he is just a baby and still learning. Put her hair in a braid to minimize pulling (and pain when it gets pulled) if you can.
For the baby, “Ouch! That hurts!” and disengage for a minute every time he does something that hurts. You can also model gentle touches immediately. Big sister can do this too. My kids liked the Teeth Are Not For Biting / Hands Are Not For Hitting books, but I’m not sure they impacted behavior so much as got the kids to parrot “teeth are not for biting, OUCH! biting hurts!” all the time…
Anonymous says
One of our twins was a biter. We said a very firm ‘no biting’ and lifted him into the pack n play for a few minutes. Put a toy in there with him (just grabbed whatever at hand). Then comforted older kid so it was clear that biting does not get you attention. Then after a couple minutes let toddler out to try again. We also had a small breakfast nook that we gated and let older kid color/play at table when she needed a longer break from the biter (or just from having two toddle brothers).
We also made it very clear to older kid that she could say no and push him away if he bit and she would not get in trouble. Figure it helps to learn early that it’s okay to defend yourself if someone hurts you.
Anoner says
Good morning! For my spring/summer uniform I usually wear a tshirt with pull on linen shorts or pants. I’ve gotten tshirts from old navy, jcrew and madewell throughout the years and none seem to last more than a season or so due to holes (and stains admittedly). Anyone have another rec for durable tshirts or is this just the way of the world? I have had everlane which seem to hold up better but some of the cuts are too boxy for my taste. Thanks!
Anonymous says
That’s just what t shirts are.
Anon says
I have some lands end cotton-modal tees that are at least 5 years old and have held up well! Doesn’t look like they make the same style anymore, but you might see if there is something you like.
IHeartBacon says
Second Lands End. Their supima cotton tees hold up so well and never look grungy or faded. 5+ years after buying some, I can still wear them under a suit.
anne-on says
Nah, mine last a season, maybe a season and a half if I’m lucky. If they don’t rip then they inevitably stain (sunblock grease stains, ice cream drips, grass, etc.). Admittedly, I am NOT a dainty individual and I can’t wear white for this reason so I just wait for a sale code and stock up at Jcrew/Boden/Talbots.
Lyssa says
I wash most of my t-shirts (most of my clothes in general, in fact) in the delicate or handwash cycle and hang dry, and I feel like they hold up pretty well even at the Target/Old Navy price point. Maybe that would help?
Cb says
I think with kids / being outdoors more, things just get gross or holy quickly.
Anonanonanon says
I have some lou and grey tshirts that have held up well, but they’re pretty large- definitely the type you would do a french tuck with. I also hang to dry as others have mentioned. I got them before they seem to have closed stores and moved their inventory to LOFT online so quality may have changed.
I have some theory brand white t-shirts that are more form-fitting and hold up very nicely, but those are for work only because they are pretty expensive.
Anoner says
Thank you all!
Pogo says
American Apparel seem to hold up well for me.
Anon says
I asked a related question on the main site yesterday and got a few recs for Duluth Trading company – I am going to try them out! (I am looking for slightly thicker fabrics, which hang better on me, and I think will also hold up better)
Cb says
Oh after saying that, I do have a recommendation. Muji. And have you tried Uniqlo?
Anoner says
Oh yeah haven’t looked at uniqlo in a while, good idea!
oil in houston says
our anniversary is in June, and we had talked about going to Hawaii, pre pandemic, we will both be vaccinated by then, so are considering going. My husband is reluctant because of the kids – my 6 year old will be fine and will love it, but our son will be 2 by then, and he is very very active. apart from the risk to him in the plane (little hands everywhere), husband is worried about the fact that it won’t be the relaxing holiday we had pre-kids , and that the mix of 8+ hour flight, 5-6 hour time difference, and a toddler who loves to through himself off cliffs and into water, may not be the best…
thoughts from anyone? go for it or wait another year until he calms down?
for what it’s worth, we used to travel a lot with our daughter at that age, but 1. differerent kids, 2. pandemic made us lose that habit …
thanks!
Anonymous says
I’d wait. Hawaii’s testing requirements are strict and annoying. I’d go somewhere! But maybe not there.
Anonymous says
Children under 5 are exempt fwiw.
anne-on says
I’m with your husband. That doesn’t sound like a relaxing vacation at all. Is there a resort that has some family activities you can go to within a shorter driving or flying distance instead? If you want to post your general area I’m sure people can give you ideas of family friendly resorts they’ve done and loved.
My son was the kid that didn’t sleep, hated car rides, super active, etc. so we had to accept that it wasn’t so much a ‘vacation’ as it was a ‘trip’ for that stage of our lives. Reframing it helped ;)
Anonymous says
+1 try a Caribbean (or Florida) resort first, and then if that goes well you can do a Hawaii trip.
AnonATL says
+1 I’d go with a resort that has kid activities where you can maybe get a few hours by the pool with a cocktail while they are at the kids club.
Or if you are very lucky and have vaccinated and healthy grandparents near a major airport, you could deposit kids at grandparents for 3 days, go to the Caribbean or Bermuda that is a short flight from the east coast, and then retrieve them on the way back.
Boston Legal Eagle says
It will definitely not be the relaxing holiday you had pre-kids, even with the best behaved kids, but particularly a 2 year old!! That sounds like a lot of work to me, especially with the long flight. I would either do this as a couples trip sans kids if you can find willing and available family/babysitters, or wait until they’re older (I’d say 4+).
Anon says
I feel like we are pretty gung-ho about travelling with kids, eating out with kids etc. And honestly an 8 hour flight for the ages you describe we would just not do (unless it was necessary; or we were going somewhere SO unique and for some reason we needed to go at that time and it was just the cost of admission).
I feel like there is some part of Mexico that is a direct, short-ish (for sure less than 8 hours at least) for a lot of the country (Riviera Maya for East Coast; Cabo/Puerto Vallarta for West Coast), I would target there first although maybe not until COVID has run it’s course there a bit more…
Anon says
I’m in Houston and have young kids – Caymans is popular with our friends with young ones as a first resort trip. Just throwing that out there as a shorter flight and maybe easier one.
That being said, my husband’s dying to take the kids to Hawaii.
Anon says
this literally sounds miserable to me. i’d rather stay home than go on this trip. everyone is different though
NYCer says
Big time changes to the west are tough with toddlers. 2am wake up call makes Hawaii significantly less pleasant…
I am not sure what travel/testing/quarantine requirements will be in June, but is Bermuda an option? The Florida keys? Caymans?
Pogo says
It won’t be relaxing, but it could still be a fun vacation – we are considering doing Hawaii when our kids are 5 and 2 (next year). I’m cautious with COVID and the quarantining requirements when we return – I’m not going to take my kids anywhere that I can’t send them back to daycare after!
In House Lobbyist says
I thought the flight to HI was tedious so I agree with your husband. Leave them at home or go somewhere family friendly and take reinforcements. Ans honestly I didn’t like being a day way (at least) from my kids when we went.
Anonymous says
I would do it, but I love traveling with kids and have never regretted a trip even though it’s very different than pre-kid travel. My mom and I just booked tickets to Honolulu for June and I’m taking my 3 year old. She’s not a daredevil, but is a typical 3 year old who needs to be constantly moving. We’re flying non-stop and economy plus to mitigate risk, and she’s a champ at mask wearing. I have zero concerns about the flight – we did much longer flights pre-pandemic and now she’s old enough to be entertained by screens. The time change worries me more, but if she’s up every day at 3 am I guess we’ll just shift our schedules and enjoy the quiet early morning time before the beaches get crowded. Our plans for Hawaii are mostly just chilling on the beach and taking turns snorkeling, so I think it will be pretty preschooler friendly. We rented a condo with a large lanai and beautiful ocean view so I can sit out there when kiddo is napping (she doesn’t normally nap but I’m guessing she will because of the jet lag).
Daycare has international travel restrictions (you need to test and quarantine for 14 days after travel) so the Caribbean and Mexico were out and my mom and I both wanted to go somewhere with good snorkeling and somewhere the pandemic is well-controlled (ie not Florida), which is why we chose Hawaii. My mom and I are vaccinated and will also get tests beforehand as required by Hawaii law.
oil in houston says
thanks for the responses everyone! husband isn’t keen to go abroad due to potential last minute changes in travel restrictions + quarantine with daycare on way back. Also, I’m not sure we’ll be happy to leave the kids in a kiddie club yet due to covid (although the minute this is over, I’m booking us on a club med trip).
Our families all leave in Europe, so there’s no one to watch the kids, and frankly I couldn’t imagine leaving my toddler overnight yet, no one apart from me is able to put him to sleep still…
I guess I’ll have a rethink on the trip, I don’t want everyone to end up frustrated and tired … maybe California or South Carolina… or US virgin islands if anyone has been?
Anonymous says
Our daycare includes Puerto Rico and US Virgin Islands on their international quarantine list, fwiw. Even though they’re not technically international, the CDC has designated them as Level 4 “countries” (https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/travelers/map-and-travel-notices.html#travel-1) which is what our daycare bases their quarantines on, so definitely check on that. I would also be much more comfortable in Hawaii because you know you’ll get good healthcare if you do get sick and there won’t be any language barrier. I’m the anon above who is taking my 3 yo to Hawaii this summer and I think Hawaii would be fun, if a bit tiring, even with kids this age, but if you don’t want to go that far your best bet is to find an alternative in the continental US.
NYCer says
Just a warning, southern California in particular might not be beach weather in June. June gloom (fog/gray) is a real thing. You definitely could get lucky, but I would not 100% count on warm weather in southern California in June.
The Montage Palmetto Bluff in South Carolina is beautiful!
Anonymous says
hard NOPE and nothing to do with COVID. Wait until your kids are older (6 and 10 is an awesome time!) and do Hawaii with them, or do Hawaii without them now.
Anon says
In normal times, I would heartily second the recommendations for the Caribbean or Mexico. DD is 3 and our annual winter vacation before the pandemic was an all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean or Riviera Maya part of Mexico and we always had a great time. But we actually chose Hawaii for our vacation this year (in September) specifically because of Covid. The pre-flight testing requirement is annoying, but for us it was very worth it to not have to deal with international travel restrictions and for the peace of mind that comes with vacationing in a place with low Covid case numbers, a strong government response to Covid and a statewide mask mandate. By the summer most adults in Hawaii who want the vaccine will have had it, and that won’t be the case in the Caribbean or Mexico so I also feel less guilt about going there and potentially spreading (DH and I will be vaccinated of course, but DD is not, and it’s not impossible for vaccinated people to infect others). In Hawaii we do a private condo rental and a lot of food takeout/delivery, which seems much safer (for both us and others) than resort accommodations and dining. Traveling with little kids can certainly be stressful, but I have found the flight is usually the easiest part, so the long flights were not a big factor for me. Our last real trip with an almost 2 year old (to Mexico) was exhausting but it was because she got bored at the resort, threw a lot of tantrums and wouldn’t sit through meals; the flights were actually NBD (and the total transit time with a layover was longer than a non-stop flight to Hawaii). If you find flying with kids very difficult, that might change things, but I don’t.
YMMV, but given a choice between Hawaii with little kids and no trip to Hawaii, I would choose to go with kids!
anon says
my question probably sounds really tme, but I just now feel like I might have my stuff together enough to attempt plane travel with my kids. We’re thinking of taking a 2 hour 45 minute flight in June with my newly turned 4 and 2 year old. the 4 year old will be no problem, but I am VERY nervous about entertaining my 2 year old on the plane. His attention span is not more than 15 minutes for TV and it sounds painful. However, I also don’t want to keep waiting (and waiting) as i’ve done for so long in hopes the kids will get more manageable. Anyone have any advice? The things that are giving me the most anxiety are tantruming on the plane, and difficulty with sleep once we get to our destination.
Cb says
You can do it! Loads of snacks and distractions – the plane is super exciting to kids. We brought a bag full of toys but he was more interested in watching people board and line up for the bathroom etc.
NYCer says
You can definitely do it! 2:45 is really not that long, especially on a plane when there is lots of new things to look at.
And if he cries, he cries….you will likely never see most of the people on the plane ever again! ;)
Anon says
DH gets on a flight with the kids and turns to me and says “okay, we have 165 60 second increments to go. let’s do this.”
I’ve always thought that was a good way to look at it – that’s also really not a long flight you’re talking about.
Anonymous says
I know this has been discussed a ton but… should I get a Mirena (IUD)? I have a 1-yr-old, we’re probably planning on a 2.5 to 3 year age gap before child number 2. I don’t love the sound of 3 months of bleeding, but other than that it seems much more convenient than condoms, which is what we’re using now.
anon says
I’ve gotten a mirena or paraguard after each baby – by the time I have it placed and then taken out again to conceive the next baby, it’s only in there for ~18 months and I find it worth it, but insertion is not painful for me. I do have weird bleeding for awhile, but nothing that can’t be handled with a liner.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I got a Mirena IUD after kid 2 but I think it’s easy enough to take out if you have a certain age target in mind. Is 3 months of bleeding a common side effect? I didn’t have that, and my “periods” now are so light it’s barely noticeable. I love it! No worrying about condoms or daily bc pills. Insertion was no big deal for me, but this was after two large v deliveries :)
NYCer says
+1 re bleeding. I did not have any significant bleeding/spotting after insertion, and my periods are also very light and short now. I did have occasional cramping for a couple months (I am not even sure I would call it that – maybe more like a dull feeling), but other than that, it was super easy.
Mary Moo Cow says
I had mine put in after my second baby, with the idea she would be the last baby, and still have it 3 years later, so I can’t speak to removing it.
I had 9 months of bleeding. I took to calling it the perpetual period. I saw my Dr. twice because of it. She did some research and found that a very small number of women in trails had Thais side effect, which wasn’t widely published (most women had 3 months or less.) After that 9 months, tho, I’ve had barely any bleeding. I love not having to think about BC. I have zero regret!
anon says
I had endless spotting and I lost a bunch of hair. Had it removed after a year.
No Face says
I’ve had multiple mirenas. No extra bleeding and my period stops altogether after a few months. Conceived within one month of removal every time. Highly recommend!
Anonymous says
I’ve had three Mirenas, and each one seriously messed with my metabolism. I was starving and exhausted all the time. I had to track and restrict calories and ramp up exercise, and I still gained weight steadily. When I finally gave up and had the last one removed, I quit tracking calories and lost all of the weight with zero effort. My OB/GYN denied that Mirena could cause weight gain, but my PCP says she’s seen it before.
octagon says
I’m about to hit 5 years with mine and have had the same experience — I’ve gained 20 lbs in that time (not counting 10 from Covid) and each time I bring it up with my Gyn she vehemently denies that there’s a link and that my age is to blame. I really love not having a period but I think I’m going to push DH to get snipped instead when it comes out later this year.
nonametoday says
Late response, I had almost the same experience as octagon, but decided that DH needed to get snipped after my last one hit the 5 year mark. I miss the no periods, but overall I do feel better/more connected to my body. The snip was very quick and easy – zero regrets
EDAnon says
My doctor said some people are super hormone sensitive (like me!) and recommend Kyleena. I have not gotten it yet but that’s my plan.
I did get Mirena after my first and it worked great. My only side effect was a complete inability to lose weight. I lost 8lbs almost immediately after getting it removed (getting me to pre-baby weight). Then gained it back because I got pregnant.
NYCer says
I commented above about not having any spotting or bleeding after insertion, but I forgot to (very importantly) point out that I have Kyleena! It is a lower hormone version of Mirena.
momofthree says
I’ve had Paraguard & Mirena in the past & had to have them both removed for side effect issues. Paraguard was the worst cramping I’ve ever had (comparable to the first bathroom trip after giving birth) and with Mirena, it was frequent spotting (which was NBD) and I also think it affected my milk supply.
I’m mostly writing in in response to the OB/GYN denying there were side effects with these things. That happened to me with the most recent Mirena. I told them I was having it removed because of milk supply issues and they basically dismissed me and kept returning to how spotting was totally normal and was I really sure I wanted to have it removed.
IUDs are a wonderful form of birth control, but they don’t work for everyone and it feels like a disservice to ignore women’s complaints about side effects.
Anonanonanon says
I have paraguard which is hormone-free so didn’t give me spotting issues or change my periods. I highly recommend it.
Anon says
I’m on paraguard as well and would also recommend it.
My periods changed in that they became heavier, TBH. But I’m one of those that if I didn’t get them I would probably constantly think I was one of the like 0.05% of people that can get pregnant on it or whatever it is and my pregnancy test buying would be through the roof : ) So I find getting the periods a feature, not a deterrent, but I wish they weren’t so incrementally heavy.
I also really liked the idea of not having the hormones of the others, although I couldn’t scientifically articulate why. The weight comments above seem to support this thought process a little though, I have not experienced anything like that.
CCLA says
Love my mirena. I’ve had three (pre-kids, between kids, and post-kids) and each time bleeding was minimal. Light spotting was far less than 3 months other than my last one, which was about 3 months. Then zero monthly bleeding. So easy, and haven’t noticed any metabolism issues. Fwiw, we got pregnant within 1-2 months of taking it out both times (2 kids). I realize all of this will vary from person to person, but wanted to throw out my super positive experience with it. When this current one expires I’ll probably get another.
ifiknew says
My 22 month old is repeatedly peeing through his diaper and clothes and onto sheets every night. Any tips?? I am literally washing everything every day. He messes with his thing sometimes to where its pointing up in the diaper and then when he pees its a huge mess. what am I missing??
Anon says
Zip PJs on backwards so he can’t get his hand down there to reorient things!
Anon says
That sounds so frustrating and like so much work for you, I’m sorry! I don’t have kids that age yet so no advice on the prevention side of things, but to cut down on the clean up front, try setting a couple layers of incontinence pads under him so you can just peel them away without having to strip all of the bedding. I discovered them after our dog had surgery that left him immobile for a few days and they’re a lifesaver and surprisingly absorbent. The ones I have are called “Washable Underpads, Pack of 6 Large Bed Pads, 30″ x 34″, for use as Incontinence Bed Pads” on Amazon.
NYCer says
Sorry if this is a dumb question, but do you use nighttime specific diapers? We switched to Huggies overnights when she was about 9 months old (daughter is just over 2 now), and it made a huge difference. We have had zero leaks since! (We used Pampers overnights previously.)
Hmmm says
A few ideas!
1) size up! This happened to us when they were ready to go to the next diaper size
2) overnight diapers, if you aren’t using these already.
3) double diaper!
Anonymous says
This was my older child from about that age until he stopped wearing diapers at night around 4. Heavy sleeper, stomach sleeper although wasn’t messing around in his diaper. Start with a night diaper a size up if that’s available. If that doesn’t work add a super maxi pad. That helped a lot – not enough that we had zero leaks, but enough that we didn’t need to change the sheets daily. Eventually we were in a large size night pull up with a giant pad in it.
Anonanonanon says
Both of my kids went through a phase of me having to change sheets every.single.morning. around 2 years old from peeing through diapers. In addition to upping the size and making sure I used name-brand nighttime diapers, the only thing that worked was weaning fluids before bedtime.
Anon says
I have to add a Sposie pad to my daughter’s diapers at night or she pees through them. Can’t speak to messing with the diaper though. But if you put the Sposie high enough in the front of the diaper, it will catch a lot of pee.
Pogo says
+1 sposie and size up. Sympathy, tho – both my kids are heavy pee-ers. My 7mo wears a size 6 at night. Like a toddler.
Anonymom says
Late but wanted to emphasize: overnight diaper, sized up if possible (like someone above, we like Huggies overnights), plus Sposie
Boston Legal Eagle says
You all may know this already, but the dependent care FSA limit was increased to $10,500 for 2021, in case you would like to change your elections.
Scilady says
This is good news! But I haven’t found it on the FSA website yet listing those limits. The old limits are still online:
https://www.fsafeds.com/explore/dcfsa
Boston Legal Eagle says
It’s part of the new American Rescue Plan so probably still getting updated everywhere.
Spirograph says
I did *not* know that, so thank you for the PSA!
Anon says
Does anyone know if this allows you to participate in the dependent care FSA if you forgot to elect back in 2020?
EDAnon says
I would love that. We forgot to do it :(
anon says
This is not going to become automatically available for everyone. Your employer has to opt in. So definitely raise it with HR if you want it.
Pogo says
oh whattttttttttt that’s awesome! That actually saves some serious $!!
Anonymous says
Oh wow, I had no idea, thank you!!
Anonymous says
This is amazing! Just sent an email to HR.
Runner says
What do you all do when people assume you work at a level lower than you do? I’m in law enforcement and a woman, and I find that men (especially those in outside organizations like advocacy groups and research organizations) regularly assume that I don’t have the same rank/power/whatever as my male colleagues. People inside get it because they are very rank conscious. People outside assume that I’m the woman in charge of the fluffy stuff. I can’t see myself saying: “actually I am very important” because I would sound like a jerk. Would love any advice you all would have. I’m generally in favor of not worrying about it and getting on with it and letting people understand my role later, but lately I’ve kind of being feeling like calling people out on it. Especially because I’m getting it from supposedly “woke” organizations that consider themselves more progressive than government.
Anonymous says
Just correct them
Anonymous says
Never fulfill those “fluffy” requests yourself. Depending on the situation, either tell the person whom they need to contact or loop in the correct person while making it clear that you are actually very important. Also, never ever volunteer to make copies, etc., even when it makes sense as the helpful thing to do. Always delegate, preferably to a low-ranking man.
Example: You are leading a meeting and one of the participants asks you where to find coffee. “Oh, sorry, I don’t know. I’m setting up for my presentation right now. Maybe [administrative assistant] can help you?”
And always dress the part. As Senior Attorney said on the main page a few days ago, you need to look like you are prepared to eat them alive. Soft dresses and blouses, floral prints, cardigans, strappy or open-toed shoes = secretary. Tailored sheath dress or trousers, blazer, dark solid colors = the woman in charge. In the Before Times I also affected a very firm handshake.
Runner says
Thank you! This was really helpful. I am a huge fan of power dressing.
Pogo says
“Always delegate, preferably to a low-ranking man” is my new motto
CCLA says
If it’s blatant, correct them.
Cosign the delegation advice above when it’s not blatant but is implied by the nature of the request. I’ve stopped scheduling my own meetings in 99% of cases. Sometimes clients email several senior people including myself asking for a call and copy the assistants of all the men but not my assistant, despite their knowing who my assistant is and despite my having reminded them in the past to send meeting requests to assistant. I eventually (after waiting a very long time to respond unless it appears truly urgent) cc in my assistant and remind sender to include assistant for a more timely reply.
Anonanonanon says
Some people have a huge pet-peeve against this, but I have found it is helpful when necessary to use the word “my.” “What a great idea, a member of my team would be happy to help with that!” “Thank you, I’ll have my assistant reach out to schedule that!” “My team has been working incredibly hard on this initiative” “I’m so fortunate to have a fully-staffed team right now, they’re excellent at what they do!” etc. My (ha!) boss hates when people do that, but I hear men do it all the time and have found it effective when used sparingly.
DH Support says
Can someone tell me about a medical leave of absence and how it actually works (not how it should work)? DH is going through it right now. I won’t go in to details but mental health is in a bad place. He made some errors – attention to detail type things at work – they aren’t individually a big deal but just a number in short succession. His particular team has some visibility so I imagine some senior eyes noticed one or more of these. He was named to an “emerging leaders” group, just got a perfect score on his review and a full bonus, truly loved by all at the company, but the work is getting more and more after some acquisitions recently that directly impact his team and no adds to staff are expected at all. I think anyone in normal times would be seriously suffering given the workload, let alone all the Stuff he’s got on the side (he’s in therapy and has medical support to work through all that). His boss today threatened a PIP if it doesn’t turn around which seems extreme after 7 solid, praise-filled years at the company.
Should he be seeking a medical leave of absence of some kind until he finds some equilibrium? His question: is taking leave some kind of kiss of death if he takes this in the face of just being threatened with a PIP? I think him leaving is the right idea – it’s not going to get better at the current workplace, but I don’t think he’s ready to move in light of personal things he’s working through (think: loss of very close parent and some medical issues that can be handled, are not terminal, but are upsetting). We don’t need his income but we need his insurance for the medical issues that happen to offer superior coverage, though we could pick up insurance through my work if we wanted to pursue that route I suppose.
I’m kind of at a loss. He’s hurting so badly and this threat today might have just tipped a scale for him.
anon for this says
This is such a know your workplace thing. How it should work is he should be able to go on STD and return when his doctors say it is healthy to do so. I don’t think work could argue with that legally. Informally though, it could impact his career of course and it would be hard to pinpoint it back to this. I have seen someone I work with go out on STD for substance abuse treatment and recover and do pretty well – he isn’t the strongest performer but I don’t think that has anything to do with his mental health/substance issues. No one held it against him.
OP says
Also. Fully acknowledge that I’m biased in hearing only his side. There could be more to it that I don’t understand because I’m clearly Team DH by default. He did already confide in a peer to his senior and he’s enraged because one of the errors was a full team effort (multiple parties had to approve widget before it was sent out; DH just had the responsibility of hitting the send button). The unhealthy work load/demands + mental health is just not sustainable and I want to be supportive, but not sure how best to be.
I’ll stop rambling now…
Anon says
I just took a medical leave of absence for mental health reasons. I was vague with my boss and colleagues and just said I needed to take time off for health reasons. I didn’t feel like I owed them any more than that. My doctor provided the paperwork to HR. I assume it went into more detail but at my company (and I think many others) HR is separate and your boss won’t have access to what you submit to HR.
People were…ok with it? I assume they weren’t happy, but I think even non-lawyers know that disciplining or firing someone for taking medical leave can be dangerous territory. Other than letting us WFH, my employer doesn’t believe a pandemic is happening, and I was getting a lot of heat before my leave for not exceeding my pre-pandemic productivity levels. No formal PIP or mention of one, but I felt like every meeting I was in I was berated for not being productive enough, etc. It was doing a real number on my mental health, which is the main reason I took the leave, but in all honestly I also wanted to document my health issues so that there were more obstacles to them firing me. I have very limited job options where I live and can’t move (long story) so when I’m fired or quit this job, which I expect will happen this year, I’ll likely be unemployed and/or freelance for a long time. We are fortunate not to need my income, although we will miss it, especially as the pandemic ends and discretionary spending on things like travel ramps up again.
I think it makes sense for your husband to take leave in this situation. Good luck to him – I hope he finds some peace. My mental health was about a billion times better when I was on leave and I hope he has a similar experience and can find something else soon so he doesn’t have to go back to this workplace.
Anonymous says
Late reply, but consider this: Is he at a point where if he doesn’t take medical leave now, he will end up hospitalized and have no choice?
Can he take medical leave for the physical health condition that needs to be addressed?
EDAnon says
He should take the leave. It will help show his boss where the mistakes came from (dealing with a health condition). And if he was a great (or even good) performer before, then he should be able to recover once he’s able to be back in a good place.
I have an employee who suffers from ongoing, episodic mental health difficulties. He is a star performer. I would rather have him than not have him – no question. He beats himself up when he has to be out, but I don’t care. It’s a bit of extra work for me but he’s so great that when he’s in, his department is one of our absolute best. His leadership also means they run really well in his absence.
All of that is to say that it can work out! But he should take the leave and get in a good place because working through might damage his reputation if people think he’s just being lazy or careless.
PPD? says
I’m 11 months postpartum and am starting to realize that I may have undiagnosed PPD. I have a history of anxiety but have never had depression before. For anyone who’s had PPD, what did it feel like? That 10 question survey you get at your postpartum appointment doesn’t fit how I feel, though. I’m irritable, prone to mood swings, and feeling kind of hopeless and empty inside. I find myself prone to crying whenever I’m alone.
I’ve been seeing a therapist virtually every few weeks but I don’t know if it’s enough anymore. Is it time to call my OB and ask for medication? I can’t tell what’s a problem and what’s Working Motherhood With Two Young Kids During A Pandemic.
Anonymous says
Call your OB today, say you’re feeling depressed and want to come in for an appointment asp.
Anonymous says
I would also discuss this with your therapist. Regardless of the cause–PPD or some other reason–hopelessness and frequent crying are classic symptoms of depression.
anon says
^this! Even if it is pandemic induced/related/exacerbated, some extra support and resources can’t hurt. Two young kids is hard, but you can do this. Virtual hugs.
AnonATL says
Howdy from a fellow PPD/A person! I made it until my son was about 6 months before I realized that I was still not “me”. I was mad at my husband for the dumbest things, not wanting to do anything besides just get through the day, and drinking more than I should.
My doc put me on low dose SSRI, and I felt better almost immediately and even better now a couple months in. I don’t rage at everything around me. I sing random nonsense to my son, and I just feel happier and more me. We are planning to try for #2 in the next few months, so I’ll probably come off the meds then. For me, it’s just to get over the hump in the short term.
There’s no shame in it. If you don’t feel right, talk to your doctor!
anon says
You don’t have to pick a column with this! You need help and you deserve help. I had undiagnosed PPD with my first and I would say that you should up your appointments with your therapists to weekly at least and start discussing medication. Do you need a different therapist? Maybe try out a recommendation from a local motherhood center? Also, how can you really prioritize sleep? That is the number 1 for me, depression or not. I was really resistant to meds before but now I reframe and think about it as your depression affects your family, not just you. They need you to do everything you can to manage this and meds can help you get there faster. It doesn’t have to be forever if that’s what is holding you back. Also would discuss some more practical solutions with your SO and therapist. If you can have additional help, go for it. I understand covid restrictions but in my mind PPD changes the risk/benefit analysis and more and more caregivers are getting vaccinated. I hope you can find some relief soon!
Anonanonanon says
I was angry and irritable. It wasn’t the sadness I was expecting. Of course, the anger and irritability led to situations that made me sad, but the short temper was my biggest tell. Please, call your OB!
Cb says
I was super anxious and having really upsetting and intrusive thoughts (my son falling off a ledge, running into the street etc). I was perfectly functional but really struggling. I waited way too long (kiddo was over two) but 6 months of antidepressants totally kicked it for me. It isn’t for everyone but I felt better after the first dose – not because of the medicine but because I asked for and got help.
Patti Mayonnaise says
I had PPA/PPOCD, so I can’t speak directly to what PPD feels like. But I’m going to recommend seeing a therapist with a PPD/PPA specialty. I was originally seeing my old therapist who did not have this expertise and told me I was fine as long as I didn’t want to hurt my baby (!!!) I wasted time not getting the treatment I needed and when I finally saw someone who knew what they were talking about, it made a world of difference.
Also just a side rant, but those quizzes at the OB/ped appointments are so frustrating. For me, it identified that I had an issue every time, but then nobody could help me get to the next step. I had to canvass therapists who dealt with pp issues (who mostly weren’t taking new patients) until someone felt sorry for me and made room in her schedule. All this to say, sending you strength – this is so hard and we need to do better for new moms.
Momofthree says
PPD/PPA can manifest itself in so many different ways, so it’s good to have the conversation. This sounds very similar to how I felt with PPD/PPA.
As others mentioned, if your sleep is an issue, do what you can to improve it. It can make a huge difference. I hated getting that advice, but my therapist stresses the importance of getting at least 4 hours of solid sleep. If you can’t, don’t beat yourself up for it, but have it as a goal.
For one, I’d talk to your therapist about it & have more frequent sessions if you can afford it & it makes sense. You can also ask your therapist what they think. Also, if you don’t feel like the therapist is familiar with postpartum issues, you could ask for a recommendation for someone who does (if this feels too overwhelming, then ignore).
What’s the reasoning in talking to your OB? Are they acting as your PCP essentially? OBs can certainly provide the meds, but it could be helpful to get them from someone who’s more aware of your entire medical history. I actually have a psychiatrist that works a lot with pregnant women & mothers and she’s been a godsend during my child bearing years. If that feels too overwhelming for you right now though, then definitely go to the OB.
Also, I just wanted to say that I had a fear of meds when pregnant, but for most types of mental health meds (though not all) you don’t have to go off them when you’re pregnant or breastfeeding. I was on sertraline (zoloft) for all three pregnancies, and was told by a dr. who was responsible for putting together the recommendations on which drugs are safe to use during pregnancy, that a mother’s mental health is also an important consideration when deciding whether to stay on medication. (Basically, in most cases, it’s better for the kid to have a medicated mother who can take care of the baby than the unknown potential downside risk of the meds). My psychiatrist was also helpful on this point- OBs won’t necessarily have the latest thinking on these treatments.
Finally, if/when you do get meds, it takes a while for them to “kick in” so the changes may be small/gradual so don’t expect immediate relief/change.
Anonymous says
That describes exactly how I felt (I don’t know if that is normal or not). At the time i attributed it to lack of sleep. In retrospect, I really wish I had been more proactive about getting real treatment or asking for more help – much much sooner. Definitely time to talk to OB – that will never hurt. Good luck.
Bday party question says
Birthday party etiquette question here. I’m a mom of a 3 year old, and we are starting to get our first invites for birthday parties. If we can’t make it, this doesn’t work like baby showers and weddings, right? I.e., we don’t have to send a gift? I know this is kind of a silly question, but I’ve never had to navigate these waters before!
Anonymous says
Def not!!
DLC says
I don’t send gifts, just regrets. If it is a close friend, then I will often make arrangement for a play date at another time. If it is a very close friend I will give the child a present then, but that is a matter of friendship, not etiquette.
NYCer says
I have never sent gifts if we can’t make a birthday party, except for very close friends.
Pogo says
We send gifts to our godchildren when we can’t make their birthday, but otherwise no.
anon says
We don’t bring presents to the 3/4yo parties even when we go in person… This may be location-dependent, but no one in my area expects everyone to bring gifts at this age.
Anon says
It’s actually perfectly within the bounds of (American) etiquette to not send a gift if you aren’t attending a shower or wedding, so it’s definitely okay here! Sending a gift is nice to do, but not at all required.
Anon says
definitely not in the bounds of the American etiquette in my circles. For child bday party, definitely don’t have to send a gift if you don’t go. For shower or wedding, considered rude not to send something
Anonymous says
Wow, I’m really surprised to hear this. I’ve never sent a gift for a wedding I didn’t attend unless it was a very close friend or family member, and the overwhelming majority of people who didn’t attend our wedding didn’t send anything except the RSVP card and their well wishes.
Anon says
Huh. I know it’s outdated now but I was always told the gift should cover the cost of your plate and if you don’t attend the wedding the cost of attendance is zero.
Etiquette Anon says
It might be a common practice to send a gift for an event you aren’t attending, but it’s not at all related to traditional (American) etiquette. It absolutely isn’t rude to not send a gift to an event you aren’t attending, but of course it’s nice to do you if you want.
Covering your plate also has nothing to do with etiquette, it’s just a practice. I always thought it was silly, because why should couples who choose and/or can afford to throw a lavish wedding deserve a more expensive gift than a couple having a modest wedding? This convention can also make those in tight financial situations feel terrible about not giving “enough”. You can also only ballpark how much a wedding costs (and often probably won’t know how many guests are attending until you’re at the event, which is a huge driver of how expensive a wedding is), so it’s not even a helpful “rule”.
The appropriate amount to give for a wedding (or any other) gift is what you want and are able to give, period.
anon says
never heard of this. gifts are purely optional if you don’t attend the event.
Anonymous says
This. Sending a gift is thoughtful, but absolutely not required unless you attend the wedding or shower.
Anonymous says
Paging Cb: Princess Anne met an electric bin lorry today and I thought of your son
Cb says
Queuing up this video for his trip to the dentist tomorrow!