Budget Thursday: Three-Quarter-Sleeve Check-Print Top

We could use some nanny share tips from those with experience! Our beloved daycare is closed for 3 weeks this summer, so we are looking to band together with 3 other families to do a nanny share for those weeks. We seem to have found 2-3 good options for caregivers, need to sort out some logistics about the space (my family is hosting). The biggest issue, however, is how to split costs, because we all have different coverage needs. Has anyone done a nanny share where most participants are part time, but different hours? Is it just a matter of doing the math to figure out an hourly rate that everyone pays for the hours their kid is there? Also, is it normal for the family that hosts to get a bit of a discount? That seems fair to us, since hosting involves more cleaning, running the A/C more than normal for weekdays, and probably more coordinating logistics with the caregivers (e.g., where things are, providing keys, etc). But if this isn’t standard, it’s not worth messing with for a 3 week arrangement with people we like. Any other advice/thoughts on nanny shares? Thanks!

Someone posted recently about an easy skincare routine for someone with a really minimal approach looking to slightly step up her game. My google-fu is failing me and I can’t find the thread. Anyone remember the thread I’m talking about or want to recommend a resource for a slightly stepped up but still fairly low maintenance routine? I feel I need more than my washing and moisturizing now that I’m solidly in my 30s (going on 33).

How do you deal with over-dramatic kid comments like, “I’ll just kill myself”? I got this again from DS (age 9) this morning over the fact that the sandwich bread wasn’t properly pre-cut for him. When I pointed out that his lunch he packed for day camp lacked anything redeeming, he threw all its contents back in the drawer and declared he wasn’t going to eat lunch, ever again, and he’ll just kill himself. Yes, he’s in therapy. Yes, I know to take actual suicidal comments seriously. But he’s doing this for attention, and I can’t rush him to the ER every time he peevishly throws a tantrum. How do you respond to this kind of thing? I threw up my hands and said fine, eat the lunch they provide at camp. I know he’ll snap out of it as soon as I drop him off at camp, but it then proceeds to ruin MY day.

Just need to vent. On vacation with my extended family and this will probably be the only time we travel together due to a parent’s illness and one of my 13 month old twins has been sick almost the entire trip, waking up multiple times a night etc. i def didn’t expect a relaxing vacation but i didn’t expect to be heading home this drained and exhausted. I feel so badly for her that she doesn’t feel well but I’m just sooooo soooo tired. And of course next week DH is going on a business trip

Co-parenting question…I have recently (January) started seeing an old college classmate. He has been wonderful with me. He listens, he empathizes, he always has time for me…Really a great man, with me. I really, really like him. He has already agreed to see a co-parenting coach with me, but does the following seem untenable? We both have 3 children from prior relationships. We have *extremely* different parenting styles. I parent with rules, but encourage my kids to advocate on their behalf. I am frequently persuaded when they have well-reasoned, thought out arguments that address my concerns. Within my rules, I allow them to self direct. I don’t supervise homework, but when my son brought home a mostly B report card we discussed how those results did not meet our standards, and if he wanted to continue enjoying autonomy he needed to step it up. He did. I let my kids die their hair, pick their clothes, and establish their own methods timelines (as long as they accomplish goals by a deadline, “I need you to do A and B by noon). I find him to be super controlling. As an example, his son doesn’t like mayonnaise on his sandwiches. Boyfriend requires that he has it, because otherwise it’s not a “real” sandwich, and it will be dry. Does not let other son wear his hair slicked back (even at home) because it’s not how his hair is “meant” to be worn. Children (10 and 7) are not permitted to access any food without asking his explicit permission. There is a “right” way to do everything. Variances from this are not tolerated. His daughter was setting the table, he said “big plates for grown-ups, little plates for kids.” She already had 3 big plates and 2 littles (for 2 adults and 3 kids), he said it was fine, but she swapped one of the bigs for a third little. He went behind are and put it back how he had said “it’s fine.” Does not engage in any discussion about rules or logic underpinning them. Has no tolerance for disobedience (“don’t do that,” next time “I said to f*cking stay in your seat!”). He scripts their free time. After homework there is chores (which he directs to a micro-managing level), family plays sports (playing outside or “free” time is discouraged), food, bed. I don’t find the kids well-adjusted at all. Mine are 13, 10, and 8. I find the 10 yo girl particularly to be hugely insecure and acts infantile. Curls in on herself, often doesn’t talk above the faintest whisper, baby girl voice, etc. I also find him to be disrespectful or unkind to his mom (she didn’t want to drive us to the airport last night, because she had a glass of wine and wanted to put the kids to bed. Totally reasonable! He acted like a jerk about it…)
Am I fooling myself that we can find a medium, here? Thanks.